By Roberta Himing, Student of Life, Gold Coast, Australia.
From the title “Knee-capped” one would perhaps think I am speaking of a past era just prior to my birth – perhaps of the time of “Prohibition”, the fabled Elliot Ness and the street gangs of Chicago, where sporadically a form of malicious wounding/torture occasioned to the knees was meted out as a punishment to prevent the assailed from easily moving forward. However, this is not the case. It appears it may be more to do with a karmic story and the deepening awareness around my ‘new knee’ experience.
Was I in fact being brought to my knees?
In the 3rd month of 2018 an excruciating and locking pain saw me with X-rays under my arm visiting an orthopaedic surgeon who showed me a model of how a regular and healthy knee would appear. He marvelled at the fact that I was still able to walk after viewing the X-ray I presented to him. Shockingly (to me) I found I was advised to have a knee-replacement surgery. How could this be? I had not been a rugby player or sportsperson of any ilk, though I had worked in a male energy during my adult life, choosing to shut down, toughen up and be hard, rather than staying open, delicate and vulnerable. This male-style energy saw me behaving in an independent or stubborn fashion when a heavy lifting, pushing/pulling or digging job was to be carried out and there was no one else present to offer support, I would expect/demand that my body obey the desire and determination of my will. On reflection not very self-loving at all and certainly not connected to the innate preciousness and sacredness of being a woman.
May Day! May Day! May Day! May 1st – surgery day fast approaching.