The Big C – why me?

By Eunice J Minford MA FRCS Ed, Consultant Surgeon, N.Ireland 

We all know what the phrase ‘the Big C’ means – it is a way of saying cancer without using the word cancer. I recall hearing it when I was growing up, people whispering it to one another that, “so and so has the Big C” – the feelings of fear, trepidation and worry were palpable. Even though as a young child I initially didn’t know what the Big C was – I knew it was something bad, terrible, to be avoided at all cost if possible, there was a sense of finality to it and the smell of death hung in the air. It didn’t seem to matter which particular big C you had – they were all cloaked with the stench of illness, disease, decay, sickness, bodily destruction and death. Even in the medical world, the word cancer was often avoided in the past so as not to induce such fears in the patient and euphemisms were used like ‘growth’ or ‘ulcer’ without revealing the true diagnosis.

The depth of fear around the Big C was and is huge – people instantly equate the C word with death, but not just death, it is a death that is considered to be slow, painful, miserable, full of sickness, sadness, a failing body, losing weight, having chemotherapy and its side effects like losing hair – of losing one’s bodily functions perhaps and being dependent on others for help and support in a way that we never think we will need to be. And the reality is that cancer can wreak havoc on the body and all of the above can be part and parcel of the journey with cancer – and suffering of one kind or another, be it physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual is a common experience for the cancer patient even with all the advances in palliative care, medicine and surgery. Yet all these medical advances focus more on the physical aspects of the disease and to some degree, but usually less so, the psychological and emotional components, with very little, if any, addressing of the spiritual dimension.

Yet many people with cancer struggle with the ‘why me’ questions: what is the meaning of this cancer, this life even? Why do I have cancer now, at this stage of my life? Is there a reason? Is there a purpose to it? Is it a punishment? Is it God’s will? The existential angst that arises through a cancer diagnosis is huge but often goes unaddressed and unanswered, especially in a way that is truly healing.

So what if the key to both understanding why we develop cancer in the first place and what it means to heal are deeply embedded in understanding the spiritual dimension of what it means to be a human being – a dimension that modern medicine actually has very little understanding and appreciation of?

This is why the marriage of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine is so important – as the esoteric brings the understandings that are missing in modern medicine regarding our true nature, our spirit and our soul and their role in disease manifestation and healing.

For example, what if all of the fear, all of the misery, all of the struggle, all of the suffering that seemingly comes with the Big C or cancer diagnosis does so because we choose to ignore, deny, resist and fight against knowing who we truly are, knowing who we are in essence and basically resisting the love of our Soul and of God?

It may seem incongruous, ridiculous even, that we would resist and fight love, never mind the divine love of our soul and God – so what is going on, why would we resist and fight that which in truth we most dearly want and miss?

Let me put it this way – what if I came to you and said, “You don’t have any issues, any struggles, for you already are the love you seek and nothing can hurt or harm that love, not even the Big C, cancer cannot touch it, cannot kill it, cannot affect it in any way – the love that you are remains as pure and unsullied as the day you were born.”

How would you feel?

Perhaps relieved?

Maybe blessed for a while?

But would you accept it outright or would you offer up reasons and excuses as to why it could not be true, that you had this issue, or that issue, this condition or that condition – in other words would you keep on going with reasons and excuses not to be the love you already are?

Because what would it mean if you accepted that what was offered was true?

Knowing that we are love means that we know that anything that is not loving is detrimental to our bodies and our health, and so we are called to change many things about the way that we live.

Would you be willing to make such changes?

For example, would you be willing to significantly change your diet, your sleep pattern, your way of being and relating?

Knowing we are love calls us to live with a much greater level of responsibility for our daily choices and how we relate to ourselves and each other. In practical terms this means: gone are the foods and drinks we know and can feel are harming – like alcohol, caffeine, sugar, dairy, gluten; gone are the angry reactions, jealousies, comparisons; gone is the need to be a people pleaser, to control and manipulate, the need to fit in, to be liked at any cost, to seek comfort, to have the world revolve around us and our needs, and the list is endless of the ways our life would change if we truly lived and embodied the love that we are. Of course, these things do not just always go overnight and it is an unfolding process, but we know in truth there is no room or space for them in a truly loving way of being and relating.

Are we willing to go there and to give up our comfort blankets and change our ways?

Are we truly willing to live with the high degree of responsibility that is being called for?

Some people find it relatively easy to make those choices, but for many it is a step wise process and can feel like a struggle or battle within ourselves. The fact is also that many are not willing to go there – and that is ok. But we then have to consider, realise and potentially accept that if we do not live in a way that is truly loving, our bodies will sooner or later reveal that fact and for 1 in 3 people that will be with a diagnosis of the ‘Big C’. Medicine is confirming that a significant number of cancers are lifestyle related and given that such choices come from how we truly feel about ourselves and are coloured by the hurts we carry, it is easy to see that we have much more power over our health and wellbeing than we like to admit or accept.

What if illness and disease including cancer is not a punishment, is not God’s will, is not bad luck or a random event but intimately related to the quality of how we live every day?

Instead of making unhealthy choices fuelled by our misbeliefs and hurts, knowing we are already love gives us a new foundation and platform to stand on from which we can choose to develop a lifestyle that has love as its essence and where love is in the driver’s seat to make truly healthy choices that are reflected in a healthy body.

As we have seen the Big C diagnosis doesn’t just come alone – it brings with it a big bag of questions, maybe fears, emotional upheaval and unrest, existential angst and a whole lot more that perhaps can feel burdensome and overwhelming. It usually brings people to a stop where they have the opportunity to ponder and consider: What does it mean to them to have this diagnosis, how is it impacting their life, their choices, their priorities?

Some may see it as just a temporary hurdle to be gotten over and get back on to the same road of life they were travelling on before they had the diagnosis, without necessarily changing anything about how they live. Others may decide to develop a more healthy lifestyle, given that many cancers are shown to be lifestyle related in one way or another. And then there are some who see the Big C as a Big Stop – who know inside themselves that fundamentally they have this cancer for a reason that is personal to them and their journey in life and that if that is the case, then they also have it within them to find answers so that they can truly heal.

I have personally met and know a number of people who have undertaken such a journey and the healing they have experienced is profound. This healing is not what you might think it is by the way. I am here not referring to the healing of the physical body and the cancer, although that can be part of it, it is not what true healing is actually about. No, some of these people have gone on to die of their disease, yet I can also say they had healed. By that I mean they had healed the underlying hurts, beliefs and misperceptions about themselves, others and life that led them to make the choices they did which were not healthy or truly loving for the body and which got revealed by the body with the cancer diagnosis.

The body cannot and does not lie – if we poison it with foods, drinks, emotions, thoughts, actions/movements, ways of being and relating that are toxic and unloving – it will have to deal with them sooner or later. If we choose to then feel guilty about our choices or to blame ourselves in some way, then we are just adding more poison into the system and polluting it further and no true healing will occur. Instead we can choose to take a different approach, one that sees this as an amazing opportunity to clear all of those poisonous thoughts, beliefs, emotions, resentments, grudges, hurts and more, to see the body as a profound instrument of healing, one where it may itself ultimately succumb in the process of the disease and healing, and where that healing is to reconnect with and deeply know who we are and always have been – Love.

This is a deeply personal journey that no-one can undertake for us but it is a journey whose rewards can dissolve aeons of struggle and angst, melt mountains of issues and hurts, salve and heal all forms of suffering. If we truly connect to this would we then still see cancer as the ‘Big C’ and all that comes with that phrase – or would we be able to totally transform our relationship with cancer such that it evolves from something we see as harming to knowing it is healing?

Whilst no-one would consciously choose to have cancer, if it is part of our reality we can choose to see it differently, to know that we do have it for a reason, that it is our body’s way of saying, “take care, look after yourself, stop poisoning yourself, stop being so hard on yourself, don’t abuse yourself or let others abuse you, deeply nurture yourself, eat healthily, be gentle with yourself, be tender with your body, respect and honour yourself, look in the mirror and see only who you truly are, the love and light of God shining from your eyes….”.

In my experience there are no riches greater than the truth of knowing and feeling who you truly are – no amount of money, gold or jewels can usurp such truth; no relationship, no job, no achievement, worldly success or accolade can come anywhere near the pure and simple joy of knowing and being who you truly are.

It is therefore no surprise to me when I hear those who have had a cancer diagnosis and who have experienced such healing, describe cancer as “a blessing”, as the “best thing that ever happened to me” or even to say, “Congratulations, you have cancer,” – for it is thanks to the cancer diagnosis that they have tasted and come to know the true riches of the soul and that indeed is a daily celebration and one they share with the world that others in a similar predicament may come to know and receive such a blessing and healing. Yet I don’t doubt that at the start of their journey with cancer they may have experienced all the same fears, concerns and emotions that impact most people when faced with a cancer diagnosis – but they didn’t stay there, they have chosen to address those fears, concerns and emotions and come to a deeper understanding of themselves and the condition: they have chosen to heal.

Imagine the potential for such understandings to totally transform and shift our approach and attitude to cancer, where it is no longer the ‘Big C’ shrouded in fear, misery, struggle and suffering – but instead becomes a means by which we deeply heal ourselves far beyond what we could have ever dreamed was possible; and for some that is a blessing that is indeed worth celebrating.

 

Disclaimer: this blog is based on the combination of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine and life experience – it does not fulfil the modern day criteria for ‘evidenced based medicine’ and should not be read as such. It goes beyond what is currently understood and accepted by mainstream medicine and it is for the reader to discern if it is relevant or applicable to them or not.

 

Read more:

  1. Breast cancer – why me? 
  2. Self-nurturing: a key ingredient in breast cancer support. 
  3. Bad luck causes cancer…. and the world is flat. 
  4. Does love heal?
  5. Understanding healing 
  6. Congratulations – you have cancer!

812 thoughts on “The Big C – why me?

  1. Esoteric medicine has brought me a deeper understanding of the word responsibility – of the effect that our emotional state or thoughts have on our health and that of those around us, and it’s brought me the understanding of how to truly resolve when emotional reactions come up rather than try and ignore them or push them down. I think this is a key part of medicine, alongside and intertwined with looking at how we eat, sleep, exercise and so forth.

  2. How crazy are we humans when you stop and think about it – how we continually choose the hard way instead of surrendering to the path of love that we already are. We fight and ignore the very thing we are all so desperately searching for because we are afraid of stepping up and taking true responsibility for how we choose to live.

  3. Lovely blog Eunice thank you. I have met people for whom cancer has been a homecoming, a stop moment that allowed them to connect to the truth that they are love and that they come from one love. And what an immense healing these moments bring.

  4. Cancer is an opportunity for everyone involved to evolve. From experience I could only comment on this from knowledge before, not from deep lived experience and understanding, but having experienced someone close to me pass over from cancer I now know the absolute truth of what this offers everybody, and what everyone goes through. It can be a very tough time for all, but the learning and opportunity given to us to evolve, on so many different levels, for everybody, is immense and this carries on long after someone’s passing over.

  5. I agree the combining of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine is the way forward in health care, ‘the marriage of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine is so important’.

  6. There is very little, of seeing Cancer as an opportunity to heal, in the world today. What I have seen mostly is fear, sadness, despair, or hardness, drive and ‘I’m going to conquer this’, ‘I am strong!’ mentality. I’m not saying these are right or wrong ways of dealing with Cancer, as I don’t know what it would bring up for me with a Big C diagnosis, but what I do know now, thankfully, is that I am definitely in the drivers seat when it comes to supporting and healing my body.

  7. Imagine if we could take this approach to any illness or disease – to see it as a blessing, as a call to go deeper within ourselves, and look at what we’re still holding onto, and why: what is it about the way we’re living, including how we relate to ourselves and others, that is affecting our thoughts and emotions, our mental and physical wellbeing?

    1. In reality to see illness and disease as a blessing is but a small understanding away. When we understand that all illness and disease is the body’s way of healing itself we will know it for the blessing it is.

  8. I’d never considered myself as an emotional or reactive person before I began to take a serious look at myself, and connect more deeply to my body and what it was actually feeling.. but it turned out the behaviours to numb myself to not feel, like checking out into my head and daydreams, were so ingrained I didn’t know they were there: it was just my normal mode of operating. In beginning to allow myself to feel more, including how I react and respond, there’s more clarity and a realisation that it is all a choice of thoughts I allow in, the emotions I choose to stay in and perpetuate..and with that, an opportunity to change and let go of old patterns.

  9. This is a great blog Eunice for everyone to consider a completely different approach to their lifestyle choices, beliefs about cancer and healing and how taking responsibility for our health and well-being makes absolute sense and is truly empowering.

  10. Conventional western medicine is truly wonderful but its focus is entirely on the three dimensional human being with no account taken of the other dimensions that we all live in and with. This is why the marriage of Esoteric Medicine and Conventional western medicine is so badly needed by mankind. Not so we can have better fixes to patch us up and get us back out there but because we need to start to understand why we have all these ailments and what each is telling us about the way we are living. Deep down we all know that behind our ill health is our own lifestyle choices, but we mostly prefer not to be honest about this or to take responsibility. Thus we have health systems on their knees trying to cope with the end results of our combined irresponsibility.

  11. If many cancers are life-style related, this means that avoiding them is in our hands if so we choose. This realisation, allows us to ask an unusual question: do we really want to live a cancer-free life? Are we doing everything possible that is in our hands to avoid it? Or are we silently investing in creating the conditions that one day will make it possible?

  12. The word cancer stands over people like a threat and induces much fear and emotion within us all. Even if you are not diagnosed with it you will likely know someone that is or has been, and this in turn immediately makes you examine your own morbidity and mortality. But what if as you have shared Eunice it is the actual quality of how we are living our everyday and the accumulation over time of our lifestyle choices, our unresolved hurts, ideals and beliefs that determines the quality of our health and degree of illness and it is not just some random chance occurrence. Further, what if also the quality of relationship we have with ourselves and others actually feeds the quality of our health and wellbeing correspondingly. If there is actually more to the presently accepted norms than meets the eye regarding our true health and wellbeing then we have much to learn and best start now.

  13. It strikes me that by just being open to the possibility of cancer being an opportunity to change, healing can take place. Being open to the fact that perhaps it is our lifestyle or the way we carry ourselves through life, and not that it’s just hereditary, means we have a newfound responsibility.

  14. “We have to consider, realise and potentially accept that if we do not live in a way that is truly loving, our bodies will sooner or later reveal that fact and for 1 in 3 people that will be with a diagnosis of the ‘Big C’.” How many different ways do we need to receive this message before we choose to as a society stop and take an honest look at the real cause of our escalating illness and disease – us!

  15. The “big C” and even saying it carries a certain picture. I imagine in the initial diagnoses it would be quite scary and remember someone close to me receiving the news and it was like that. It was like that fight or flight thing that seems to be there, you can either give up or fight it. Funny how neither of these deals with what is actually going on but are more of a quick solution. While there is an urgency for treatment at these points I imagine that only having this type of advice or solutions available would be again lonely and scary for most of us. There indeed would have to be another way or another part missing. From going through an experience with someone close to me I can see the body treatment part was taken care of, treatments, operations and advice and support around that. But who actually took care of the other part, the person and their feelings. They were pretty much left to their own devices, left to go home and make decisions and try and make sense of the ‘why’. I can see this leaves a big whole in the treatment plan and so any awareness to this has to be a great start.

  16. ‘…the esoteric brings the understandings that are missing in modern medicine regarding our true nature, our spirit and our soul and their role in disease manifestation and healing.’ It’s so interesting that medicine had become divorced from matters of spirituality and soul, reduced to a mere function (or lack thereof) of bodily parts. It’s missing the very thing that animates us, that gives us spark and underpins the choices we make in life… the very choices that play a massive part in our health and well-being.

  17. I have seen or heard a couple of interviews lately with women who have accepted and learnt from their cancer rather than felt compelled to ‘fight it’ (as is common today) or ignored or denied it. These women were inspiring, showing a different way to be with the dreaded ‘Big C’. For anyone who’s interested check out Susan Evan’s story at http://www.fieryservice.com/student-interviews and an with Judith McIntyre at http://universalmedicinefacts.com/a-new-model-of-palliative-care-and-the-posthumous-press-abuse-of-judith-mcintyre/

  18. I agree Eunice that when we think of cancer it comes with a whole picture or package of what it will be like but does it really have to be this way? And if we understood more fully exactly why cancer occurs energetically then we would view it in a completely different way.

  19. Having worked in the medical system for 20 years I completely agree that generally medicine is great at supporting people with cancer with their physical symptoms and complications but generally falls short of really supporting people emotionally or philosophically to understand their situation and their condition. It can make a huge impact on the quality of life of someone coming to terms with such a diagnosis to have this support and Universal Medicine has already demonstrated an extraordinary model for how this can be done and how well it works.

  20. I would have been really afraid of getting cancer and I suspect I still would be today, however what I can really appreciate is having an understanding of illness and disease beyond the physical and that is all thanks for the incredible work of Serge Benhayon and the presentations and workshops that I have attended. Furthermore as I make choices to be aware, to observe life and to bring a real and true quality to my movements during the day, I am myself unfolding a far deeper understanding of why illness and disease occurs. Then I realise there is no punishment, instead a loving support to show when we are on track or not

  21. It’s been very clear for me the two different ways of living you have presented Eunice, the one where we poison ourselves with foods, thoughts, emotions and unsupportive choices and behaviours, or the loving path of being connected to our inner essence of love and treating ourselves daily with care, gentleness, honouring the body, and letting go of issues that keep us on the merry-go-round of reactions and emotions. Whether we are ill or not, the path of love and self care can support us “to know the true riches of the soul and that indeed is a daily celebration.”

  22. to think that we are love, endlessly, and that we are like a star, and even cancer can not touch nor hinder this – wow. Usually we let our issues overwhelm us, but if we consider the whole universe is behind us then how could we stay so stuck on things like this?

  23. The way medicine has come to understand our illnesses and conditions is phenomenal, and should be marvelled at. If we stick with this sense of wonder, than our health and wellbeing will never be taken for granted.

  24. I have been blessed with a deep communication and intimate sharing with a lovely women at a recent Universal Medicine Retreat, who is embracing her diagnosis of terminal cancer with an openness and grace that is both profound and inspiring. A powerful reflection and confirmation that there is another way to be with illness and disease.

  25. The word cancer conjures up all sorts of things, yet when we can understand the energetic causes of cancer, and how we might change our choices in order to support ourselves, we learn not only something for this lifetime, but lifetimes to come.

    1. Great point Sally. Going to the root cause of anything always makes sense in order to heal. Otherwise we just treat symptomatically, and are then surprised because the cancer returns.

  26. It is a great point you make Richard, to look at humanity as a whole. It so easy to look down our street, or in the places in our town that we frequent, and justify that, things aren’t so bad – or – we are doing well. The truth is, as a humanity, we are not a pretty picture at all!

  27. The marriage of modern orthodox medicine together with esoteric medicine is indeed a marriage made in heaven. I used both a few years ago when I received a cancer diagnosis and healed so quickly and simply that my doctors were surprised. Making different lifestyle choices is key, yet I met many women who took no personal responsibility with their aftercare and was interested to observe their ongoing complications.

  28. Changing the quality of how I live to be loving to myself each day has taken dedication to knowing that I am more than my day to day experience might tell me. The wisdom to go beyond the present, to see that there is a different life on offer through these loving choices is a leap of faith I had to take, but it has been worth it.

  29. I also know people who have celebrated having cancer and found a way to enjoy the healing they are aware they are being offered with the process. It’s vastly different to how many live, but so satisfying and empowering for those who choose to view it this way.

  30. This article literally makes my heart sing. Where Eunice talks about being told we actually have no issues, that we are already all the love we have ever wanted, and then some, is a magnificent revelation; accepting this and surrendering to our grace to live this way is all that is required of us. Can we open our minds to this possibility and begin the daily process of deeper surrender each and every day to feel this as a truth for ourselves.

  31. What an amazing article by Eunice offering so much wisdom and understanding to Cancer and our lives and its true message and impact it can have for us all if we choose to see the bigger picture we are all part of . The importance of true care and love and deepening our relationship with ourselves is an amazing honouring and encompasses our responsibility for both ourselves and the all we are part of .

  32. Eunice, there are so many deeply significant points you make in this blog…this is only one of them that stands out to me: “Knowing we are love calls us to live with a much greater level of responsibility for our daily choices and how we relate to ourselves and each other.” And from here it is about facing the challenge of putting it into practice, making it practical in our life on a day to day basis. Thank you for this gorgeous blog and beautiful reminder of how we have played a part in all that happens, and that we have choice in how we go on from moment to moment.

  33. The expressions ‘cancer’ and ‘big C’ are not equivalents. Yet, both convey something (different) of equal value. This is my conclusion when we apply numerology to both expressions. In the case of the word ‘cancer’, its numerology helps to understand that the Soul has something to do with the emergence of this condition. In the case of the expression ‘Big C’, its numerology helps to understand that the way forward requires changing fundamentally the way someone moves in life.

  34. ‘The body cannot and does not lie – if we poison it with foods, drinks, emotions, thoughts, actions/movements, ways of being and relating that are toxic and unloving – it will have to deal with them sooner or later’ …and to ever think that all our choices don’t accumulate is an ignorant trick of the mind and not the reality of the wisdom of our body.

  35. It is astounding the ways in which we poison our bodies, either be it with the food and drink, or the emotions that we continue to indulge in – is it any wonder the body has to have itself a clearing, no different than the planet earth does from time to time.

  36. It’s huge to ask people to consider that the illnesses we have are a result of the way we have chosen to live. This seems to bring an initial sense of foreboding, perhaps blame or shame. But it is really the opposite, it is saying through living a life in honour and love of the body, there is an empowerment that offers a whole new way of dealing with and understanding illness.

  37. Never heard that expression. Yet, from my own experience, when I was a child, you did not come across as many people having cancer as you do nowadays. Having said that, the right question to pose is why is this the case? Interestingly enough, medicine or science have nothing to substantial to say about this. Serge Benhayon does. And, not only it does make sense. It also show the limitations of science and medicine and hence the convenience of joining forces.

  38. I agree Eunice, “it is easy to see that we have much more power over our health and wellbeing than we like to admit or accept.” Being willing to be honest about our way of living and our lifestyle choices opens the door to becoming more aware of the impact our choices have on our body and with this the empowerment to initiate true change that enables our body to align to its natural rhythm.

  39. The ‘Big C’ is a big stop, a big opportunity of revising the way we have been living in before it emerged. It is an opportunity to make the changes that best support us to go deeper and understand more about us and life. Are we open for that level of surrender that comes with assuming more honesty and responsibility in our lives, even without having that ‘Big C’?

    1. Great point Amparo, that we don’t need to wait until we get seriously ill before we surrender, stop fighting ourselves and accept ourselves for all that we are and all that we’re here to bring. To go deeper and truly love ourselves is a choice that we can all make, at any time.

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