Breaking free of the uncomfortable comfort

by Rachel Mascord, BDS, Sydney and Warrawong.

This has been an extraordinary week in my life…a point of endings and new beginnings that have left me raw and vulnerable in a way I’ve rarely allowed myself to experience before.

I submitted my resignation this week. This has been a momentous step because it is the first time I have left a job with no other job to go to. I had held this position for more than 16 years, and a very comfortable nest it became indeed. My comfort in this job lay in the “security” of its tenure, but an uncomfortable and damaging comfort it was. The price I was paying was high; its coinage the toleration of a constant level of low grade disrespect and the sort of subtle abuse that people learn to cope with, in some way or another. After all, it is quite the normal thing in this world…isn’t it? It is an abuse that does not mark the flesh, but rather more insidiously leaves its bruises deep and unseen upon the heart and the being.

Leaving it has felt like I imagine the baby bird must feel as it extends its wings for the first time, surrendering itself from the edge of the nest that has held it safe for so long…

Never have I allowed such a level of open vulnerability in my life. Never have I allowed such a level of surrender, never have I stated that I trust myself so deeply and all of the resource that comes, innate, rich and sourced from deep within me.

The extraordinariness of this time of my life cannot easily be laid out in word. My body, long tightened and tensed against the constant low bubble of tension and hurt has registered the release and celebrated with the release of its own in the form of a substantial health problem. “Here you go,” it has said to me, “take a look at how you have been negotiating your way through life. Do you see the way you have been gripping the reins for so long that your fingers no longer straighten and soften in tender supplication to the Divine Will? Do you feel the armour you have made of your chest to bear the hurts of disrespect others have sent your way – a disrespect you have not loved and respected yourself enough to ever address?

Do you feel the magnitude of the lack of trust you have had in yourself and consequently the lack of surrender to your Father’s Will? All of this I am revealing unto thee, the truth of your thus far Living Way…are you ready to release the fingers you have clenched hard, thus releasing us from the uncomfortable comfort you have made my home for so long? Are you at last, willing to let go that fearful control of circumstance that has felt like the only way to make your way through life? Are you willing to know that you are enough, more than enough? Are you yet willing to hand yourself unto God’s way, as he would live on Earth?”

How can I ignore such questions, asked of me, by my body, with such poignant and pointed clarity?

My response to it has been to harken myself, sharpen my ears and listen attentively. I have also been to see the most remarkable doctor of my life. No stone shall be left unturned medically, but I also know that even the greatest medicine can only treat that which I give it access to treat. The doctor can only play his part, the rest is up to me; is my part. It is the life I live and how I choose to live it.

So in consideration of this I ask myself: Shall I ever allow abuse again? What occurs to me in typing these words is that we humans have become so inured to abuse…the words “get over it”, “what’s wrong with you?”, “you’re too sensitive” fall from our lips so easily that they constitute our normal daily way of conversing with each other. Is this not how we have reached a point that it takes the most brutal of extremes of televised abuse to make us lift our heads from our evening meal and shake our heads before we take the next mouthful?

How many of us subsist in life, negotiating our way through the minefield of “hurt or be hurt,” that human life has become. Our fingers tighten on the reins of our lives, no longer able to straighten and soften in tender supplication to a Divine Will that we have long forgotten even existed.

It was Universal Medicine that reminded me, both of the Divine Will and inspired me to ignite again my willingness to live its Way…The Way of The Livingness. But to do so I have had to learn the greatest lesson of my life…that is to say no to abuse in its tiniest expression.

For even one drop of abuse is poison to the whole.

This bout of sickness, the grace of my very delicate body, has offered me the Truth of how I chose to exist for so very long. And now offers me a dare, if you will…if Love would ever offer such a thing…a dare to live with nothing but the greatest dedication to love, to my essence, my Soul. To live as God would live on Earth. Dare I ignore this firm directive to look within myself and see the glorious kernel of God’s Love that is my essence? How can I not, in the face of this truth, let go of the uncomfortable safety we call comfort and thus restore myself to the Living Son of God I am?

 

Read more:

  1. Why wait? Let’s discard out-of-date and abusive attitudes about gender now!
  2. Love – the missing link in gender equality. 

 

 

741 thoughts on “Breaking free of the uncomfortable comfort

  1. In reading this you can feel the freedom and grace you have come to with learning to let go of the security and to go to truth – it’s very inspiring.

  2. Comfortable moulds always cause more harm than good, yet the majority of us fall for them. Love Love Love that you have broken out of yours, when we see those free of that mould we get to feel for ourselves what true freedom tastes like, hence inspiration and reflections from people like you Rachel are so important so we can see there is a way to change.

  3. Saying no to abuse is a great step but I have discovered that I abuse myself far more than the world does. Sure the world couldn’t care less but it doesn’t directly abuse me much, whereas I have been a master at running myself down. Working hard to eradicate this self destructive behaviour.

  4. .
    Letting go of the uncomfortable safety we call comfort is indeed a revealing and profound statement that would cause countless people to squirm if they really understood what is being exposed here

  5. “To live as God would live on Earth.’ I love this sentence and it got me pondering on how would God live on earth, which would be to live just like us when we are living from our essence.

  6. Breaking our attachment to comfort is absolutely vital for our growth and development – otherwise we are at risk of just marking time and stagnating in that comfort.

  7. Comfort is a ‘purpose delaying machine’ that makes no sense when we really want to live and serve from who we are.

  8. Beautiful blog, thank you Rachel. I became aware of tension in my body that I had not realised was there as I allowed your words to sink in. Letting the tension go and allowing for expansion, even on this level, supports that reconnection to our body and our essence and a truer way of being.

  9. “For even one drop of abuse is poison to the whole.” Wow – this sentence stopped me today. How often do we just put up with a small amount of abuse from others – and as for the abuse we do to ourselves..(without calling it abuse) …..

    1. Totally we accept and give abuse so much in every day life in the simplest of activities. It’s just so normal it isn’t seen as abuse. When we take it to the energetic level I would say that for most humans they live in constant abuse just with their thoughts and that is what they walk and therefore lay the ground for another to feel and be influenced by. Gets pretty insidious pretty quickly.

  10. Exposing comfort is not always very comfortable. It is not necessarily the cozy sofa we may use to take a nap. We may find comforting something that is awkward and not good for us at all. Comfort is only to be identified with a pattern of behavior that creates a structure we can hold on to avoid feeling our responsibility to be more and to reflect more.

  11. I am so inspired by this blog as it has allowed me to build a trust that I never thought possible but have now felt is possible by choosing to surrender and allow what will come next.

  12. ‘“Here you go,” it has said to me, “take a look at how you have been negotiating your way through life.’ This made me stop, for a while now I am becoming aware that even the slightest compromise I choose has its effect on my body. And the tightness in my fingers and hands is just one clear message that says I can let go of anger and frustration and choose love for myself instead.

    1. Well said Joshua – it is hard to realise that being in comfort can be very damaging to us! But of course this is not to be confused with the comfort of sitting in a comfortable chair or wearing comfortable shoes! The comfort that can be damaging to us is the kind where, for example, we feel uncomfortable about confrontation with another when something has not been done with respect for all, for example, when this is exactly what is needed – (but we feel more comfortable to be silent and allow the abuse or disrespect). This kind of comfort is a killer!

  13. Brilliant blog Rachel – and when we allow or tolerate a constant level of low grade disrespect and the sort of subtle abuse that people learn to cope with, our thresholds gradually erode or begin to change. It is like a sliding scale – the moment we allow one small disrespectful or abusive incident to pass without responding to it, then this begins our gradual erosion and downfall from what we know to be a true way of relating to each other.

  14. Rachel I can so relate to your situation and the job change – there is a part of me that seeks to manage and control things all of the time, and I am a Master of this Control and Management! But this leaves little space for Trusting in how things need to unfold, and allowing for a more natural expression (rather than a controlled one)…There is much to learn in the word Trust, and it is not about the classic approach that disempowers us all when we say ‘Ah but the Universe will provide!’…it is not about the Universe providing anything, it is about us stepping into our own power and then through the way we are in our responses and quality that we choose day to day that the way is paved, hence no disempowerment here at all. I still struggle to fully surrender to this process but know it feels amazing when it constellates.

  15. This is such a powerful piece of expression it is worthy of a play, a sonnet of humbleness and responsibility. No doubt it is music to your bodies ears as you listen so intently and willingly surrrnder to thy fathers will.

  16. I have just realised a comfort I’ve been in in a relationship, all wrapped up in beliefs of how it should be that I placed on myself, yet I now feel just how uncomfortable it is and how it does not belong to me and also how it will be affecting the other person.

  17. ‘take a look at how you have been negotiating your way through life’ Negotiating is a well chosen word here as we do negotiate on a daily bases the price we are willing to pay for the security, protection and sense of belonging we think we need.

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