By Inmaculada Cobo Soler, Spain.
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with very advanced osteoporosis, which led me to enquire honestly about the relationship I had with my body.
I come from a family which fundamentally values two things: a person’s capacity to accomplish great academic achievements or, in the case of not having higher education, the ability to be acclaimed by a natural intelligence and work capacity. The body was a mere instrument to this end, and it could be subjected to sleepless days and nights if needed, sustaining itself with the help of coffee like my father did or, as I used to do, living off my nervous system.
After finishing my higher education and starting work, I did what I thought was taking care of my health by doing road cycling and running half-marathons. Also in the name of health I dedicated many years of my life to learn and practise different kinds of nutrition.
The common denominator of this path has been my body being tyrannised by the demands and wishes of my mind. From the moment I decided what I wanted to do with my body, and left no room for feeling and listening to what my body actually needed, what was supposed to be “healthy” stands as an external imposition, based on ideals and beliefs, and therefore becomes unhealthy.
It is paradoxical to witness how many different ways of caring for our bodies are offered to us nowadays and at the same time we see how illnesses proliferate.
Being diagnosed with osteoporosis
My first reaction when I was diagnosed with osteoporosis was disbelief and anger. Anger at having believed that all the time that I had dedicated to apparently taking care of myself was supposed to be a guarantee to avoid illness. Then, after I calmed down and became aware of the extreme frailty of my bones, I felt very sad and vulnerable.
Up to that time I had hardly used any medication, and suddenly I was facing this new, overwhelming situation. I needed to choose between different treatments, all of which had such potential side effects that I could be left facing even more illnesses.
Whenever the doctors talked about the state my body was in, I felt like it was foreign to me. Even though it seems absurd, I felt betrayed by my body. I connected with a lot of fear, distrusting myself, and with the temptation of playing the victim, hence burdening others with my illness and my doubts.
Establishing a new relationship with my body
I chose not to be a victim. I had to assume that my body was a stranger to me, that I needed to get to know. Little by little, without pushing myself or despairing, I’m establishing a new relationship with it, and with myself, as a result. It is the clearest mirror I have to look at myself.
My bones are regaining mass bit by bit. I don’t know how well they will evolve in the future. What I do know, however, is that my relationship with osteoporosis is a living experience from which I am learning. The first thing it produced was a great dose of humility, for it placed me where I was energetically, instead of where my mind thought I was. Meeting Serge Benhayon helped me achieve this. Opening myself to his esoteric reading of every organ, tissue and to the consciousness that was in each forgotten area of my body, allowed me to embrace the fact that each illness has a deep root that transcends the merely physiological reality.
When I asked him about osteoporosis, he told me that energetically osteoporosis is related to long term deep disregard and that healing requires full regard for myself with deep self-worth, care and nurturing. These were things I could work on myself as well as taking the advice of the medical doctors to treat my condition.
It took me a long time to realise that THE BODY DOESN’T LIE, that only our mind is capable of creating a mirage, which can make it look like I’m being ever more careful with myself, whilst I may be hiding a deep lack of acceptance and cherishing of my own self.
I have learned that we cannot deceive our body, for it only responds to love. The fact is that I had only taken just enough care of it for it to be useful to me, but I had not deeply respected it. This means that I had demanded too much of it, that I had at times abandoned it.
I have learned also that wisdom is truly wisdom if it stems from the body, and that this is only possible when there is an intimate, sensitive and loving listening to it.
It has been humbling to learn that my body never lies…. and it is thanks to Serge Benhayon that I have been inspired to develop an ever-deepening and loving relationship with myself and my body so that I can hear and heed its messages.
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So true that the body never lies and it is ALWAYS willing to share and communicate with us so long as we approach it with “an intimate, sensitive and loving listening to it.”
Inmaculada thank you for writing with such honesty and with such observation that you were able to come to your understanding that:
“We cannot deceive our bodies, for it only responds to love. The fact is that I had only taken just enough care of it for it to be useful to me, but I had not deeply respected it. This means that I had demanded too much of it, that I had at times abandoned it.”
What this blog reminded me of is the days I would work to the edge and even by exercising six times a week and sometimes even twice a day, it was ludicrous. So it’s a no wonder my body said no more, as it had been speaking the truth and it basically wasn’t lying. I finally had no choice but to rebuild my relationship with it again.
It is far by being perfect but that self care is from a different level to what it used to be. It is more tender, loving and much more considerate to the body first, before the mind.
Shushila I can relate to what you have shared, I have totally disregarded myself and was very self abusive and did not listen to my body at all, even though it spoke very loudly to me. I can remember quite clearly talking to a Universal Practitioner a few years ago and coming to the realization I had no relationship with myself and it was something I would have to rebuild which is what I’m doing slowly. I have built up such resistance and strong denial to the fact that I am a son of God, but every time I discard an ideal, belief or picture that life has to be a certain way for me to participate in it, that I have taken on, I get near to the truth of who I am. It is one thing to know something but completely different to actually feel it in ones body.
It’s a great point Doug and it points to how we have normalised abuse under the guise of doing good for our bodies. It actually doesn’t make sense at all when we examine it like this.
“The first thing it produced was a great dose of humility, for it placed me where I was energetically, instead of where my mind thought I was.” The body always offers the truth, which in turn offers us the opportunity for honesty. I can relate to the pride of thinking I’m going along better than I am, or not wanting to look at what’s staring me in the face as communicated by the body. The body is like a loving parent, it continually offers the truth so that through honesty we can become more responsible with ourselves and others.
Melinda I’ve loved what you have expressed, ‘the body is like a loving parent’. And when I ponder on this it not only makes absolute sense but it feels absolute sense.
Inmaculada, as we change how we live, we will be affecting the physical body. We are learning through osteoporosis how we have push and disregarded our bodies in the past but what a blessing to know we can change this by living with less judgement on ourselves and living more lovingly. As I feel this, I get a beautiful glow of warmth up my spine.
The body doesn’t lie and here you are living the truth of where you have come to. The tenderness with which you write is a marker for the body in telling the truth. Thank you.
Inmaculada feels very inspiring seeing a woman like you capable to look at with honesty all the arising feelings after receiving such a diagnosis. Sometimes it takes courage and humbleness to go to your body’s truth. I appreciate your healing process for it shows a very different approach to an illness or a disease with no need of regret or play the victim. Thanks for sharing
It is incredible that the body does not lie and that every bit of it shows how we have lived, how we have treated ourselves (and others), and what we have thought. It’s like a gigantic register and can only sustain itself for so long before what we have poisoned it with, has to come out in the form of illness and disease. It’s quite amazing how the exact illness we get, is exactly the register of the behaviour or choices we have gone into. Illness and disease clearly doesn’t fall out of the sky like we thought it did and it is certainly not the random event that we like to think.
Could it be that abusing our body and the resulting illness that is created by the way we have lived, is that a lot of time the cure is a bitter pill we must swallow?
We are forever humbled by the honesty of the body which is a marker of how we have been living. We can take this as a punishment or as an opportunity to deepen.
Reading this makes me want to get my bone density tested, which for some reason I have been putting off.
There is a lot of power in humility.
The ideals and beliefs that we can be so attached to can have an extremely detrimental impact on the body to the point illness and disease is created in the body. We have to learn to discern what is an ideal or belief and that which is true for our body and to do this the development of the connection to our body is paramount.