By Inmaculada Cobo Soler, Spain.
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with very advanced osteoporosis, which led me to enquire honestly about the relationship I had with my body.
I come from a family which fundamentally values two things: a person’s capacity to accomplish great academic achievements or, in the case of not having higher education, the ability to be acclaimed by a natural intelligence and work capacity. The body was a mere instrument to this end, and it could be subjected to sleepless days and nights if needed, sustaining itself with the help of coffee like my father did or, as I used to do, living off my nervous system.
After finishing my higher education and starting work, I did what I thought was taking care of my health by doing road cycling and running half-marathons. Also in the name of health I dedicated many years of my life to learn and practise different kinds of nutrition.
The common denominator of this path has been my body being tyrannised by the demands and wishes of my mind. From the moment I decided what I wanted to do with my body, and left no room for feeling and listening to what my body actually needed, what was supposed to be “healthy” stands as an external imposition, based on ideals and beliefs, and therefore becomes unhealthy.
It is paradoxical to witness how many different ways of caring for our bodies are offered to us nowadays and at the same time we see how illnesses proliferate.
Being diagnosed with osteoporosis
My first reaction when I was diagnosed with osteoporosis was disbelief and anger. Anger at having believed that all the time that I had dedicated to apparently taking care of myself was supposed to be a guarantee to avoid illness. Then, after I calmed down and became aware of the extreme frailty of my bones, I felt very sad and vulnerable.
Up to that time I had hardly used any medication, and suddenly I was facing this new, overwhelming situation. I needed to choose between different treatments, all of which had such potential side effects that I could be left facing even more illnesses.
Whenever the doctors talked about the state my body was in, I felt like it was foreign to me. Even though it seems absurd, I felt betrayed by my body. I connected with a lot of fear, distrusting myself, and with the temptation of playing the victim, hence burdening others with my illness and my doubts.
Establishing a new relationship with my body
I chose not to be a victim. I had to assume that my body was a stranger to me, that I needed to get to know. Little by little, without pushing myself or despairing, I’m establishing a new relationship with it, and with myself, as a result. It is the clearest mirror I have to look at myself.
My bones are regaining mass bit by bit. I don’t know how well they will evolve in the future. What I do know, however, is that my relationship with osteoporosis is a living experience from which I am learning. The first thing it produced was a great dose of humility, for it placed me where I was energetically, instead of where my mind thought I was. Meeting Serge Benhayon helped me achieve this. Opening myself to his esoteric reading of every organ, tissue and to the consciousness that was in each forgotten area of my body, allowed me to embrace the fact that each illness has a deep root that transcends the merely physiological reality.
When I asked him about osteoporosis, he told me that energetically osteoporosis is related to long term deep disregard and that healing requires full regard for myself with deep self-worth, care and nurturing. These were things I could work on myself as well as taking the advice of the medical doctors to treat my condition.
It took me a long time to realise that THE BODY DOESN’T LIE, that only our mind is capable of creating a mirage, which can make it look like I’m being ever more careful with myself, whilst I may be hiding a deep lack of acceptance and cherishing of my own self.
I have learned that we cannot deceive our body, for it only responds to love. The fact is that I had only taken just enough care of it for it to be useful to me, but I had not deeply respected it. This means that I had demanded too much of it, that I had at times abandoned it.
I have learned also that wisdom is truly wisdom if it stems from the body, and that this is only possible when there is an intimate, sensitive and loving listening to it.
It has been humbling to learn that my body never lies…. and it is thanks to Serge Benhayon that I have been inspired to develop an ever-deepening and loving relationship with myself and my body so that I can hear and heed its messages.