An Angel Calls

by Ulrike Baker, Lismore Heights, Australia

Twenty-six years ago whilst pregnant with my second child I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a dysgerminoma. Once the tumour the size of a football was removed, I went to term with the pregnancy and delivered my baby.

One month after the birth, scan results showed the cancer had spread throughout my uterus and to the other ovary and the radical treatment offered did not seem an option to me.  This treatment was radiotherapy and a radical hysterectomy. I did not have confidence in my doctor and on some level felt I would not survive the treatment. Subsequently, I discharged myself from the hospital.

The months that followed were filled with reading, seeking and trialing many alternative therapies, including energetic and psychic healing, macrobiotic diet, buying under the counter kombu, coffee enemas (oh, too much detail!), etc etc.

I felt I was getting stronger, with psychic surgeons saying ‘the mountain’ in my abdomen was shrinking. In actual fact I was getting worse to the point where I could no longer walk and was a shadow of my size now. This was all in the dogged belief I could heal through energetic/alternative means alone.

It took a friend from outside my immediate support network to see me looking like ‘ET’ and get me to hospital. This was 4 months after giving birth and 9 months after the initial operation. It was a different hospital under a different doctor who offered a different treatment. On admission the nurses said I wouldn’t last two days. However, when admitted to hospital I had a strong inner knowing that I would be OK, that I would heal from this disease.

When I was first admitted I had dangerously high levels of calcium in the blood so this needed to be stabilised before chemotherapy could commence. The treating doctors were not certain on the treatment for the high calcium levels, but proceeded to flush the calcium from my system, resulting in me blowing up like a balloon but gradually the calcium levels reduced. Following this, chemotherapy was started and my body slowly responded. (Maybe it was due to the million-dollar view of the harbour and the big boats in the Bicentenary Year!) In the months that followed, 25 years ago, the overnight visits for chemotherapy were anticipated with dread and I found the only way to get through them was to take charge and manage the situation. I did notice how other patients seemed so disempowered in their hospital bed and felt I had to be different to get through this. For example, I would walk laps of the hospital ward for hours pushing along the drip; manage my medication schedule by deciding when to have anti-nausea, sleeping and pain medication, so I could get through the overnight infusion of cis-platinum.

I knew at the time the decision to avoid hospitalisation was partly based on fear I had of any invasive treatments to the body ie surgery/needles and the fear of the pain this would inflict. I can say now that western medicine saved my life and within that I was still able to make decisions on how I would manage the treatment I received.

During the recovery phase, my family moved to the north coast of NSW. I saw my oncology doctors for the regular checkups and continually explored complementary medicine/alternative modalities as a means to provide a more holistic form of healing and to support my recovery. Over time this included herbal remedies, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, Chinese medicine, rebirthing, Bowen technique, colonics, Gematria, to name a few. I thought and felt at the time that with each new alternative treatment/modality I had found the answer. All that I did seemed right for me at the time, however I still had the sense of searching coming from deep within me.

One day I came across a flyer for an Esoteric Healing treatment in a local health food store. The Universal Medicine clinic had a lovely calm feeling about it, which felt somehow familiar and hence from having a treatment there I started to attend the presentations.

It’s through attending Universal Medicine presentations that my understanding and awareness of the healing process and of living has changed. I noticed how my previous decisions showed disregard for my body and that I wasn’t really taking responsibility for my wellness – that I still wanted something outside of myself to fix me without my committed input. This does not discount the need for medicine as a tool in assisting this process.

I discovered I held the key to my healing, that I have a responsibility to care for myself, every day and to seek help if all is not well with my body – that true medicine is the way I live. I have come to learn that healing comes from within and it is about the choices I make in each moment that can either bring me closer to my inner loveliness or keep me in separation.

Since that journey I am keenly aware in my body of the need for a balance between conventional medicine, complementary medicine  and now esoteric medicine (being open and allowing my own healing ability within).

571 thoughts on “An Angel Calls

  1. It is empowering to recognise that we hold the key to our own healing and we can choose to work with conventional medicine to support the healing process and start to take responsibility for our choices in every moment.

  2. I feel we do know that we hold the key to our own healing, but we are not willing to see that the way we live is a contributing factor to our illnesses. Because we don’t want to really address this we look for other possibilities that we think have the answers but in truth takes us further away from our own healing.

  3. It is so empowering to understand that we know through our bodies what is best for us, not only in normal life but also when in illness or with disease. Our bodies know as they hold a great wisdom and to allow this to be there in our healing, will not only bring different physical results but will also provides energetic and psychological healing to our humanly existence.

  4. It’s amazing and empowering the extent to which we can control the state of our health, simply through the choices we make in each moment: whether to connect and surrender to that stillness and steadiness we hold within, and to be honest about what we’re actually feeling – the exhaustion, anxiousness or whatever it may be; or to keep pushing, driving and striving forwards in an endless motion until our body forces us to stop.

  5. Wow, what an amazing journey with your physical health. It is a testament to the true marriage of western medicine and complementary medicine that you are today not just physically better, but also more responsible and whole and well rounded as a person having discovered coming back to you.

  6. I have been reading some of these articles lately and it is quite shocking what we choose to do to ourselves. While saying that it’s great also to see people sharing things like this, while shocking it’s important for us to see what people do in these moments to support themselves. There is something that runs that is saying it will never happen to me but yet this is not always the case. For me it’s important to read these articles so I can have a sense of what may happen if I am ever faced with a similar thing. While things like this go on at times it maybe difficult to get a sense of what to do next but as this article is saying I can choose what to do now in that my choices of how I care for myself and the quality of it will support me from here forward.

    1. Yes Ray, it is shocking. What I observe is that even with all the knowledge and understanding we’ve been given on health and well-being by Universal Medicine, old patterns can continue to rule our choices. Without a commitment to reflect honestly on choices and truly connect with our bodies as a daily practice, and make changes, we can easily mistreat the body and over-look developing conditions. There is no perfection here and we know we learn from illness, but there’s much we can do to nurture and support our bodies on a daily basis..

      1. Even with that mindset change there would be a huge difference: “we know we learn from illness”. We aren’t even walking to a point to say we learn. There is something deep seeded in all of this as we still think we have failed when it comes to illness or need to fight. When illness like everything else around us is a reflection to “learn” or deeply read from. There is equally such a judgement carried by us all on those we see ill, similar to you get the flu and you’re unhealthy. We don’t read or learn why others are ill or even open to a possibility of what is going on. With more and more articles and people like this at least the thought will be available that there is possibly something else going on to bring about an arrest of the momentum we have done in the past.

  7. ‘I discovered I held the key to my healing, that I have a responsibility to care for myself, every day and to seek help if all is not well with my body – that true medicine is the way I live. This is the level of understanding needed if we are to respond to illness lovingly and with mastery.

  8. “I discovered I held the key to my healing, that I have a responsibility to care for myself, every day” this is just gold, we don’t want to take that responsibility a lot of the time and the fact that it is something we have to do each and every day. Not bottle it up and think we can make it all ok in a fews days after weeks, months, years of disregard. It is a daily loving commitment.

  9. “I discovered I held the key to my healing, that I have a responsibility to care for myself…” This is a simple yet very powerful statement…it does seem obvious doesn’t it? To not care and be dismissive of myself is something I have slipped into all too easily, but to really care for myself takes a developing sense of worth that I deserve it.

  10. The way that so many feel that they can do whatever they want to their bodies and then expect someone else to fix the ensuing problem is leading to a huge and increasing load on the public health system, a load which has the potential to bankrupt these hard working facilities. To come back to the simple fact that we are responsible for our own health and our own bodies is the first step in turning around this concerning trend. The second step is to acknowledge that esoteric and western medicine both have such a huge part to play as well, and to combine them with our own self responsibility is the ultimate recipe for our healing.

    1. Spot on Ingrid – this is certainly a true recipe for truly being supported:
      (a) accepting conventional medicine and what it has on offer is an important part of the healing;
      (b) embracing the energetic aspects through esoteric medicine to support with identifying and healing the true cause of the illness/disease etc.
      (c) Realising that we have played a part in the development of what has happened and so it is for us to examine how we live – for how we live is our medicine or is our way of getting sick.
      Simple, but not always easy to embrace when we have ideals and beliefs around these things stopping us from going with it smoothly. So it is about dealing with our ideals and beliefs so that we are then absolutely free to choose and act as needed for our whole wellbeing.

  11. Interesting that even 25 years ago you had an inner strength and knowing that you would get through it. It shows that we know we are the masters of our own healing, supported where needed, by the appropriate medicine.

  12. Re-reading your blog I am once again surprised by the turn-around. The healing process sounded like a process of continual searching for something to fix you, only to come back to your own body and listening to what it is communicating with you. It is such a simple form of medicine but incredibly powerful.

  13. What an experience to have Ulrike, and thank you for sharing this so openly. It is so common for many people to be fearful of conventional medical treatments such as chemotherapy, radiation and medications in general, and I too was one of those people who prided myself for never taking any medications not even aspirin, basic painkillers, not even anaesthetic when I saw the dentist! But when we deny ourselves what all that conventional medicine has on offer, and when we come with fear around what it offers, then we are in effect making our choices and options very limited. Conventional medicine does not have all the answers, but they do represent a very important part of our healing and learning and growth and hence it is about us being open to working with it as much as we possibly can, and in this we can learn to re-build our trust in it too.

  14. Rabit holes seem endless not because they are but because we choose to continue to leave one and go down another.

    Hence the analogy trying every rabbit hole (alternative medicine) until we decide enough is enough and we choose to seek real change.

  15. ‘true medicine is the way I live’ A great revelation although obvious really and when there is not anything obviously wrong with us sometimes difficult to put aside that which we know is harming. Gradually though with compassion for ourselves and commitment to the truth we can begin to live in a way that supports true health rather than undermining it.

  16. Wow what a process to go through and share so inspiringly with your inner the knowing and strength standing out clearly. The power we all hold in taking responsibility for our own healing and the way we live is remarkable and the combination of Conventional medicine and Universal Medicine is obvious and truly powerful for us all as you share here with taking responsibility for ourselves lovingly.

  17. It is our responsibility to heal and take deep care of ourselves, and our body shows when we are or are not. It is such a trap to keep searching for the cure outside of ourselves as it isn’t there, it is in the inner healing power that we regain strength and are able to live a life with all that we are.

  18. True healing comes from allowing ourselves to consider all aspects that are on offer – conventional medicine as well as complementary medicine, so that the best possible outcomes can be available. Sometimes the healing itself can be the fact that we have denied ourselves the support from conventional medicine and then we open up to it – the healing is in the fact that we have finally dropped the rigidity of not allowing something in our lives that could be of enormous benefit. Ulrike, I too came from a staunch approach where I prided myself for not having been to a doctor in many years and not having used any conventional medications for many more years, but in doing so I looked at conventional medicine with disdain and criticism, not understanding that it brings part of a very important picture. When I finally cam across Universal Medicine which is open and aligned with conventional medicine, whilst also bringing the Esoteric approach and hence completing the full picture, I was able to open my eyes more and appreciate conventional medicine and allow it back into my life to give the full support that I (and all of us) are worthy of.

    1. Your comment got me thinking Henrietta – how stubborn we can be when we have an image in our mind about what is best for the body without actually listening to the body’s own wisdom. How can the mind know when the body is the one experiencing our every choice? Doing what’s needed for the body, by the body, makes for simple decisions.

  19. ‘An Angel Calls’ – A beautiful title and so aptly describes what we all have available to us when we stop and listen to our body. Reflecting on this ‘voice’ from within and the sacredness and honouring it brings to our lives and our health I am feeling truly blessed – everything is available to us, all we need to do is re-connect and live from this loving space..

  20. Quite often we get ill and then feel lost as to what to do next, but when you read articles like this it helps to clear away some of the confusion, and to see that anything is possible.

  21. Thank you Ulrike for sharing your experiences and your wisdom. I love what you have expressed here, a very beautiful lesson indeed;
    “I have come to learn that healing comes from within and it is about the choices I make in each moment that can either bring me closer to my inner loveliness or keep me in separation”.

  22. Treating life as medicine is a wonderful way to live – knowing that each moment is a moment to choose love or not and that that has an effect on the body.

  23. Wow Ulrike, what a story of healing from being days from death. I have seen a few instances like you describe over the years where women have refused medical treatment, fully convinced that the growing masses in their bodies are in some way part of the healing process. Thank God for the good sense of your friend turning up when she did and breaking that trance-like state that seems to lure us down a path of self-destruct.

  24. ‘I have come to learn that healing comes from within and it is about the choices I make in each moment……’ So true Ulrike. When we take responsibility for our own health and wellbeing it is amazing how many miracles can occur.

  25. Amazing that even before you knew anything about Universal Medicine and what it presents, you knew deep within that you would be ok, and that it came down to a matter of what you chose to support you to get well again. We all have this inner knowing, always have had and always will. It’s whether or not we are willing to listen to it or not that is the key. If we do, there is no end of possibilities, as you have undeniably shown us here.

  26. I presume from the title the ‘angel’ that called was your illness. Or perhaps it was the grace of your awakening inner self you are referring to. Either way, recognising the enormous healing that can come from our conditions is beautiful and graceful approach to what we otherwise attempt to shun.

  27. The beautiful teachings presented by Serge Benhayon at Universal Medicine is “that true medicine is the way I live”. When we take responsibility for all our choices it makes sense to seek support from all the learned experience of conventional medicine as well as a deeper understanding of the cause and effect of all our choices as presented by esoteric medicine.

  28. ‘I thought and felt at the time that with each new alternative treatment/modality I had found the answer.’ I had exactly the same Ulrike and we were and are not the only ones, constantly on the go to search for a solution and never finding the answer. This endless search stopped when I truly started to look within and felt my responsibility for my own body and health. And yes, just like you it were and still are the Universal Medicine treatments, presentations, workshops, books and retreats that inspire me to live a loving life making choices to heal what stands in the way of us being who we are in truth. Thank you Ulrike for sharing your experiences and for being you.

  29. Reading this it felt that you were definitely being looked after through it all and the certainty you felt that you would survive feels all part of this. Your healing was needed to inspire others as you surely do.

  30. I deeply appreciate the support offered to me by Universal Medicine and their practitioners world wide. The have supported me to see the way we have such a major part in the outcomes for our own health and wellbeing. Teamwork.

  31. I used to believe that getting an illness was like being punished and that it was not my fault, or at least I had no say in the matter, but since attending Universal Medicine workshops it is clear to me that I have always had a say in the illness and dis-ease I have created in my body, and always will have.

  32. I am back again! Yet I am struck by how often we make decisions about our health based on fear. I have started to realise how this fear stops us surrendering and therefore being aware of the tremendous amount of support that is available to us in every moment.

  33. We are constantly faced with choices and we do not always allow ourselves to be aware of the impact of those choices and so we can choose to care so we support ourselves or not, and the more we do so, the more we realise that no matter what happens to us we can always choose how we respond. I particularly love how in the middle of chemotherapy you honoured you and your rhythm in how you were with the medicine and took charge, and that is how we can be, to get the support we need in whatever form, but take an active role in how we are with it and how we live. How we live in the ultimate medicine.

  34. Ulrike, what a beautiful story of someone knowing there is more in life and not giving up on that. There were multiple points along the way where you could have given up but your inner strength and will is very clear. Super awesome to read.

  35. It can be so easy to dismiss conventional medicine and turn to alternative therapies, but we need to be very discerning to look at what they are really offering. This is where Universal Medicine is amazingly supportive and works with conventional medicine and not against it, and offers an understanding of the illnesses we have and shows us how to honour and work with the body in a way that has not been offered before.

  36. It is shocking how far we sometimes push ourselves to the brink without being aware of what we are doing. How important is it then that we do not hold back when we see another needs help and speak the truth in what we see.

  37. ‘I discovered I held the key to my healing, that I have a responsibility to care for myself, every day and to seek help if all is not well with my body – that true medicine is the way I live.’ We can have all the medicine in the world to fix ourselves, yet if we don’t start to take responsibility for ourselves we will always be looking for the fix, rather than changing our choices and supporting ourselves.

  38. Our bodies are naturally configured to heal, to return to a state of harmony, and to guide us to know what is needed for us to heal. We only need to pay attention and surrender to the truth of what is being communicated. As we may not have the understanding and expertise of what is going on in our bodies and being, this support includes visiting our doctor and/or practitioner to seek guidance. I have also experienced how powerful the union of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine is in allowing us to explore and understand the choices we have made to bring us to a point of dis-ease, whilst offering great support for our physical bodies, both working together in correcting and arresting ill-momentums that are making us unwell.

  39. In every occasion life is teaching us that we are not powerless. We are powerful from the beginning and we are returning to take charge to care for our bodies by surrendering to what it is communicating to us lovingly every single moment. Sometimes we take a long time without listening, other times we are quick to heed, but every time we take more responsibility in responding to our bodies, we are taking more responsibility in life.

  40. Discovering we are the key to our own healing is huge in the face of society encouraging us to give our power away to the latest trends and anything outside of us.

  41. ‘I still wanted something outside of myself to fix me without my committed input’ … how insightful, and indeed it exposes how many of us can approach medicine, alternative or otherwise, until we begin to see and understand that there is more to heal and that we have a very active part in this. Thank your Ulrike for sharing your journey, and reminding us all of the part we play in our healing and that life is in fact the greatest medicine of all.

  42. That you managed to survive is amazing Ulrike! Such bravery to take healing into your own hands and when that didn’t work to try conventional Medicine. To find the healing within through your connection to Universal Medicine and your own inner knowing is a lovely outcome.

  43. What a miracle Ulrike. Like you said you had a strong inner knowing that you would somehow come out okay despite being medically terminal – The work of medicine in this instance is incredible. And yet the goal of medicine is not always to save lives even though that is what it does most frequently, you shared that caring for yourself, choosing a responsible way of being – this is also medicine and the medicine we much need in society.

  44. “I can say now that western medicine saved my life and within that I was still able to make decisions on how I would manage the treatment I received.”
    In this sentence, you have taken charge of your health and your body. It feels like an absolutely needed key to unlocking illness and diseases.

  45. Our own responsibility to self-care is not one we can avoid. The body will without fail tell us when we do not attend to self-care.

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