Eating humble pie – taking antibiotics for the first time in over 20 years

by Matilda Bathurst, Midwife & Primary School Teacher, UK

I have been beautifully, tenderly and gently humbled this week following a visit to my GP on Monday. For over 3 weeks I had had a cough and was feeling various degrees of unwell, resisting, as is my tendency, really taking care of myself and allowing support from others.

Prompted by a beautiful man in my life, I made the appointment and was guided by my GP to take some antibiotics, in that a cough that persists for over 3 weeks is significant and he could hear a ‘slight crackle’ in the base of my left lung.

For a long time, I have had a disdainful relationship with mainstream medicine, avidly exploring alternative modalities and building an arrogance in myself about mainstream medicine being ‘less’ and below me. So it was with some discomfort and unfamiliarity that I collected my prescription and actually committed to take the tablets.

What has transpired in the week since (I completed the course yesterday) has been nothing short of miraculous. For one the cough has gone… but more significantly I have had the opportunity to explore and review a filing cabinet’s worth of pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals about how I have always thought things ‘should’ be: how I should present myself in the world and that it is a failure and weakness to be ill and need the support of others.

I wrote to my GP today to say thank you and enclose a copy of part of the email here:

‘I just wanted to say a big thank you for your support in our appointment last week. I have just finished the course of antibiotics and my cough has gone. Almost more inspiring though than this, is the fact that my whole relationship with being unwell and allowing myself to be supported has shifted. I realised that in well over 20 years I have only taken one paracetamol and up to last week I was quite stubbornly proud of this, but what it actually shows is that I have not allowed myself to be taken care of and have ‘done’ hardship far too much.

So, more than just physiological support, my first round of antibiotics for a while has shown me a whole lot more.’

Would I say I have a tendency to be stubborn, yes; opinionated, yes… but less and less so and it is life changing moments like this one that are breaking the abusive and self-disregarding patterns of behaviour I have chosen and established in my life.


Read more:

  1. Should we reconsider what illness and disease mean for us? 
  2. Why don’t I feel well? Is illness and disease just a random event? 



467 thoughts on “Eating humble pie – taking antibiotics for the first time in over 20 years

  1. What a great example of healing where you not only address the physiological issues that affect our functioning, but examine the underlying beliefs and ideals that undermine our ability to self care and self nurture.

  2. It is so liberating to actually surrender to what we feel our body is aksing for. Fighting these messages is exhausting and simply adds to the dis-ease.

  3. As someone who has allergies to antibiotics, I can relate to the need for such loving care over our health. Having a care for ourselves and our physical body is so crucial for our well being.

  4. It is quite exposing see just how abusive it is to live driven by ideals and beliefs as they do not consider or are implused by the intelligence of the body but rather come from a knowledge base, mind driven concept that generally only serves an emotional need to be identified in some way. I have found that this always results in us disregarding the truth of our bodies and how this truth always supports and guides us.

  5. Owning up when we have changed our minds, and maybe we weren’t right about something is such good skill to have, because no-one gets things correct all the time, and it is brilliant for children to know that parents can make mistakes too.

      1. Mhmm, what if in living far less we are actually given everything we need to feel however we want, but when living Truth we are simply given everything we are.

  6. Humble pie is good for the arrogant and ignorant being inside us that likes to think of itself to be superior and in control even when reality clearly shows that it doesn´t work – the bliss of ignorance and pride.

  7. We can make choices and decisions throughout our lives, but it is so important to realise what pictures contain and hold us to influence those decisions. It is great Matilda, that you have realised how those choices controlled you in the past and you have been released from those ideas now.

  8. There is a beautiful surrender in accepting the help which is there around us in all true forms, whether from medicine to support our healing or from esoteric healing to support medicine.

  9. There is an enormous level of surrender that occurs in the body when we ‘let-go’ of an attitude or firmly held perception that we are ‘right’ , and experience a ‘humble pie’ moment… this surrender is probably the greatest healing step – of self care – towards ourselves, revealing just how much we allow the human spirit to wield control and override the body.

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