Gyl Rae, Teacher, Scotland
Last year I visited the doctor, after not having my periods for three months. During our conversation I was told to ‘not worry’ about it, and this was normal.
Every cell in my body knows truth – this is not normal.
Our bodies are intrinsically made up in a way that is in divine order with God, working in natural rhythms and cycles, just like nature and the Universe. Every month a woman’s body creates and releases an egg, which, if not fertilized, results in her having a period – this is normal.
For some women this may not be the case, and missing our periods is a clear sign from our body, telling us that how we are choosing to live is out of rhythm; it’s not ‘normal’ or ‘natural’ for us. So why is it we choose to ignore or override our body and believe that we can make something that is not our natural divine order and rhythm our normal?
Could it be a way we avoid responsibility? I know it was for me.
The reason my period stopped is because I chose to not deeply connect to, and live from the stillness in my body.
By stillness I don’t mean lying down on the couch, feet up, not moving; I mean embodying the quality of stillness in my body. In stillness there is no doing, only being, and in this there is no way you can deny you are divine and deeply connected to God. There is a natural rhythm, life flows, there’s no need to try, push or rush. Stillness is as natural to us as breathing; it never leaves us.
I was living in a way where there was a large amount of motion and anxiety in my body. By this I simply mean thinking, over thinking, doing lots of things, fighting my awareness of what I feel, surplus activity, planning ahead, e.g. driving home and thinking about other things instead of the one thing my body is currently doing. You could call it ‘checking out’ – basically, not being fully present with my body in what it is doing – making dinner in a rush, or running a bath at the same time as checking my phone, eating when I don’t need to, writing an email and walking the dog – slight exaggeration here, but you get what I mean. There were moments where I was very still and brought that to my day, but I was living in a way that was not true to the innate divine wisdom, stillness and sacredness, I am and come from.
Motion is not a bad thing, but not in the excess that 99% of us live in, that constant doing, distraction and raciness. It’s about learning to deeply embody and connect to the quality of stillness in my body first – then doing what needs to be done from there – rather than from raciness, stress, drive, nervous energy or anxiety.
So when the doctor said to wait another three months and if my periods didn’t return, to come back and we would contact the hospital to run some tests; this is exactly what we did.
At the same time, I sought support from Universal Medicine Practitioners who confirmed what I felt.
If it was not for Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon I would have carried on living the way I was, in total disregard, and not seen this as an opportunity to take responsibility for my choices and how I live. Both Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have always been and are an incredible support in my life by reflecting how to deeply honour, nurture and take care of myself and my body.
So three months later at the hospital, I had several blood tests taken, alongside internal and external scans – they all came back negative. I know it was deeply supportive, responsible and honouring of my body to get these tests done, to make sure everything internally was okay and there were no major medical issues causing this.
After eleven months of not having my period, it was suggested I go on the pill for six months to see if it helped my periods return naturally, to build oestrogen levels and keep the onset of osteoporosis at bay – as there were warning signs of this on one of the test results. This is something I started to do, but felt the pill was not supporting me, so after a few months I consulted with the Doctor and chose to stop taking it. I worked closely with an Esoteric Naturopath on rebuilding the health of my body from the inside out, through food, nutrition, supplements and vitamins, alongside watching overactive thoughts.
Coupled with this I have been working with an Esoteric Connective Tissue Practitioner on a regular body movement program, alongside attending courses in Esoteric Yoga for Woman. Both of which I have found, and am finding deeply supportive and nurturing. I didn’t realise just how disconnected from my body, my ovaries and being a woman I was. From the first session this has changed. I am re-learning what it is to truly be a woman again.
On a practical level how does this look everyday? I’m re-learning to deeply take care of myself and my body, to nurture myself, to speak and live my truth, deepen my awareness and honour my feelings again.
There are gentle Connective Tissue exercises I do every day, when I need to, I stop to feel my breath in my body, how my body feels, rather than rushing to get something done or go to the next place.
Being aware of the quality in which I move, is it delicate, tender and gentle or is it hard and harsh? Feeling that I don’t have to do everything at once, nor by myself, and that it’s okay to say no or ask for support, speaking up when needed, rather than holding back what needs to be said. Not over-eating and stopping when I feel to rest. Living what I know, instead of knowing it from my head. Setting up my home, my car and my space in a way that supports and confirms me – my safe space, so there’s lots of order, precision and space, as this is what I love and deeply confirms who I am.
This is an unfolding process, but what I do know is, it is both Esoteric Medicine and Western Medicine that have supported me to take responsibility and address the moment-to-moment choices that I have made and make in life. The combination of both Esoteric Medicine and Western Medicine is deeply supportive and nurturing; together they are supporting me to return to living the true woman that I am.
With this support, and the choices I am making my periods have come back, but I know this is not the end. I know it’s time to continue deepening my connection to the stillness and sacredness in my body, and with that even more Ancient Wisdom.