Missing periods – it’s not normal

 Gyl Rae, Teacher, Scotland

Last year I visited the doctor, after not having my periods for three months. During our conversation I was told to ‘not worry’ about it, and this was normal.

Every cell in my body knows truth ­­– this is not normal.

Our bodies are intrinsically made up in a way that is in divine order with God, working in natural rhythms and cycles, just like nature and the Universe. Every month a woman’s body creates and releases an egg, which, if not fertilized, results in her having a period – this is normal.

For some women this may not be the case, and missing our periods is a clear sign from our body, telling us that how we are choosing to live is out of rhythm; it’s not ‘normal’ or ‘natural’ for us. So why is it we choose to ignore or override our body and believe that we can make something that is not our natural divine order and rhythm our normal?

Could it be a way we avoid responsibility? I know it was for me.

The reason my period stopped is because I chose to not deeply connect to, and live from the stillness in my body.

By stillness I don’t mean lying down on the couch, feet up, not moving; I mean embodying the quality of stillness in my body. In stillness there is no doing, only being, and in this there is no way you can deny you are divine and deeply connected to God. There is a natural rhythm, life flows, there’s no need to try, push or rush. Stillness is as natural to us as breathing; it never leaves us.

I was living in a way where there was a large amount of motion and anxiety in my body. By this I simply mean thinking, over thinking, doing lots of things, fighting my awareness of what I feel, surplus activity, planning ahead, e.g. driving home and thinking about other things instead of the one thing my body is currently doing. You could call it ‘checking out’ – basically, not being fully present with my body in what it is doing – making dinner in a rush, or running a bath at the same time as checking my phone, eating when I don’t need to, writing an email and walking the dog – slight exaggeration here, but you get what I mean. There were moments where I was very still and brought that to my day, but I was living in a way that was not true to the innate divine wisdom, stillness and sacredness, I am and come from.

Motion is not a bad thing, but not in the excess that 99% of us live in, that constant doing, distraction and raciness. It’s about learning to deeply embody and connect to the quality of stillness in my body first – then doing what needs to be done from there – rather than from raciness, stress, drive, nervous energy or anxiety.

So when the doctor said to wait another three months and if my periods didn’t return, to come back and we would contact the hospital to run some tests; this is exactly what we did.

At the same time, I sought support from Universal Medicine Practitioners who confirmed what I felt.

If it was not for Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon I would have carried on living the way I was, in total disregard, and not seen this as an opportunity to take responsibility for my choices and how I live. Both Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have always been and are an incredible support in my life by reflecting how to deeply honour, nurture and take care of myself and my body.

So three months later at the hospital, I had several blood tests taken, alongside internal and external scans – they all came back negative. I know it was deeply supportive, responsible and honouring of my body to get these tests done, to make sure everything internally was okay and there were no major medical issues causing this.

After eleven months of not having my period, it was suggested I go on the pill for six months to see if it helped my periods return naturally, to build oestrogen levels and keep the onset of osteoporosis at bay – as there were warning signs of this on one of the test results. This is something I started to do, but felt the pill was not supporting me, so after a few months I consulted with the Doctor and chose to stop taking it. I worked closely with an Esoteric Naturopath on rebuilding the health of my body from the inside out, through food, nutrition, supplements and vitamins, alongside watching overactive thoughts.

Coupled with this I have been working with an Esoteric Connective Tissue Practitioner on a regular body movement program, alongside attending courses in Esoteric Yoga for Woman. Both of which I have found, and am finding deeply supportive and nurturing. I didn’t realise just how disconnected from my body, my ovaries and being a woman I was. From the first session this has changed. I am re-learning what it is to truly be a woman again.

On a practical level how does this look everyday? I’m re-learning to deeply take care of myself and my body, to nurture myself, to speak and live my truth, deepen my awareness and honour my feelings again.

There are gentle Connective Tissue exercises I do every day, when I need to, I stop to feel my breath in my body, how my body feels, rather than rushing to get something done or go to the next place.

Being aware of the quality in which I move, is it delicate, tender and gentle or is it hard and harsh? Feeling that I don’t have to do everything at once, nor by myself, and that it’s okay to say no or ask for support, speaking up when needed, rather than holding back what needs to be said. Not over-eating and stopping when I feel to rest. Living what I know, instead of knowing it from my head. Setting up my home, my car and my space in a way that supports and confirms me – my safe space, so there’s lots of order, precision and space, as this is what I love and deeply confirms who I am.

This is an unfolding process, but what I do know is, it is both Esoteric Medicine and Western Medicine that have supported me to take responsibility and address the moment-to-moment choices that I have made and make in life. The combination of both Esoteric Medicine and Western Medicine  is deeply supportive and nurturing; together they are supporting me to return to living the true woman that I am.

With this support, and the choices I am making my periods have come back, but I know this is not the end. I know it’s time to continue deepening my connection to the stillness and sacredness in my body, and with that even more Ancient Wisdom.

With absolute thanks and deep love to Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon – for their consistent deep love and care.

 

Read more:

  1. Women’s periods 101
  2. Our monthly period – curse of woman’s wonder?

655 thoughts on “Missing periods – it’s not normal

  1. I felt to say if someone wants to take the pill that is fine and their choice to make. It can be very supportive to do so if done for true reasons.

  2. I think I possibly take my period for granted a little – I LOVE it and it’s one of my favourite times of the month but it’s never occurred to me that if I don’t look after my body as a woman then they could stop. As women, our cycle is such a massive part of our lives, it’s like a natural ebb and flow within every month and an opportunity to learn and clear more stuff and deepen our relationship with ourselves. We’ve definitely got to cherish our bodies every single day – it’s incredible what they can teach us.

  3. “I know it’s time to continue deepening my connection to the stillness and sacredness in my body” Beautiful. Whatever age and stage of life we are at our body calls for us to deepen our connection to our inner stillness and sacredness.

  4. Learning to connect to our innate stillness within our body is life-changing. Whilst living in constant activity from my head I used to push my body so that I always felt hardness and tension in my movements. Developing a deeper relationship with my body has allowed me to feel my natural delicateness so that I no longer want to push and disregard my body but take my time to align to my body’s natural way of moving.

  5. Stillness is a quality to be embodied not living on a couch doing nothing. Lovely to read the true meaning of stillness, to live this quality in daily life in all that we do, rush is not needed nor driving, pushing or from an anxious state. In stillness there is flow to life without trying. Fantastic that your period returned through building stillness in your body from your different choices in supporting yourself Gyl.

  6. And is it possible to miss a period to ovulation, even if you physically had it – it in a way passes you by and you don’t take any time to connect or reflect on what’s going on – pain is dealt with by pain killers, and using a tampon can make life almost normal, like it’s not happening – but it is. What if part of the problems we face around women’s health is our tendency to cover it up and carry on regardless.

  7. A reality check here for all women to connect deeply to who we really are and live in the amazingness and natural divinity of our bodies in our love and sacredness. Anything less is not honouring and not normal in the true sense. Thank you Gyl for this great reflection and the empowerment you offer by showing us our choices do make all the difference along side medicine supporting us as needed.

  8. Reading this makes me wonder how much we take our body for granted, especially our periods. Ignoring or disconnecting from them is very common but if women only knew how amazing our periods are and what they can reveal then they most surely would be celebrated and cherished.

  9. I’ve had bouts of not having periods that are healthy, robust and full. I haven’t actually missed them completely, but when they are not flowing as you know they should, or experiencing really painful period pain, sore and tender breasts, you just know something isn’t right. It has been through changing how I live and view myself that changed my periods. We as women are very blessed to have this marker each month to show us how we are choosing to live.

  10. As much as we sometimes don’t want to know that our cycle is out of sync and telling us something, deep down we do really know that it is a reflection of not wanting to connect deeply with the Woman within. My whole life I have seen my body as function along with my period, then once attended Esoteric Women’s Health I started to feel and understand my body on a whole other level which in truth I knew was there all along.

  11. It seems odd that the medical profession are slow to consider the not-so-radical concept that there may be factors in how women are living that are precipitating or aggravating these conditions – rather than seeing period pain, endometriosis as ‘normal’ and to be put up with because so many millions of women suffer from them. Self-awareness is a woman’s greatest tool for understanding her cycle, and in that an appreciation of what her body can truly communicate given the opportunity.

  12. With this word ‘normal’ we have learnt to ignore, blackout and disregard whole parts of life. But as you show Gyl it’s not truly normal at all and our body will religiously show us the real consequences to our choices. It seems absurd that we as adults would need to learn how to move, how to live like abc but that is how it is for so many of us I agree.

  13. As I discovered when I went on a medical course this weekend, many diagnostic tests are based on a ‘normal curve’, a range of what is considered normal and what is not which is usually some kind of statistical population average but this is not always as accurate as it is sometimes held up to be and by nature can make errors. People need to be educated about this so that when they see their doctors or medical professionals they do not give their power away to the medical profession or the tests but actually take responsibility to feel for themselves whether they feel something is normal or not, based on their own connection with their own bodies and their own observations. Of course we will always need medical professionals diagnosis and test results to complete the picture but I still feel we generally lack the full understanding as to what we are actually getting when we go for these investigations.

  14. Our current medical system is not set up in a way that entirely supports us in our return to health and well being. GP appointments are often allotted very short time frames which does not make it easy to honour the person nor the practitioner fully by allowing enough time to explore in depth what is actually going on. Under these circumstances and such as in your case Gyl, they can say things like ‘it is normal’ to miss a period and ‘not to worry about it’ – in essence neglecting client care and not doing their profession justice.

    However, we know that if we ignore certain signs and symptoms, such as missing periods, then things can certainly mount up to a medical emergency within a certain amount of time. Hence it is important to heed the signs and symptoms of the body no matter how small or big and no matter how much a person might tell you that there is nothing to be concerned about. This is not to say we should be paranoid or read into every symptom as being a serious life threatening disease – but it is about taking the body’s communication seriously, and allowing for us to respond accordingly to support our body in all it is here to be and do.

    1. Surely all that the label “normal” implies is that many others are living with the same abnormal? Great point Henrietta, what may appear a minor symptom today if ignored may have to come out in some other bigger more serious way to get our attention.

      1. Great point Doug about the ‘normal’ – when did we allow something abnormal to become normal…- this happens when every one has the same abnormal and we look around and become complacent about what the body is communicating to us.

  15. ‘Normal’ is such a worrying marker to use for what is healthy or acceptable for us. We are not in good shape as a species, so to compare to the next person dilutes the potential we have to be vital and healthy. I know for myself my periods are not random and are a great reflection of how I am treating myself. The menstrual cycle is a natural rhythm, just like day and night and the moon cycle. We would be concerned and want to know why if these suddenly became irregular. So too should we investigate what’s going on if there is an abnormality with our periods.

  16. So many times I have consulted medical professionals about a health issue only to be told there is no problem, it’s normal and like you Gyl,there was no way I could accept that, for as you say, “every cell in my body knows truth”. There were times that I felt so dis-empowered and almost began to think that I was imagining the things that were going on, but the more I began to understand the wisdom of my body the more power I reclaimed; after all I am the authority when it comes to my body and to care for it in a deeply loving way is my number one job!

  17. ‘Both Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have always been and are an incredible support in my life by reflecting how to deeply honour, nurture and take care of myself and my body.’ Absolutely Gyl. Serge and Natalie are the most amazing role models for everything in life – they present the whole package, they walk their talk.

  18. Not to worry about something does not make it normal, if we can truly let go of worrying, it is to come back to a state of knowing that our bodies are forever backing us up. All the signs and symptoms it is showing us is what our choices have been.

  19. Inspiring to read Gyl, of how you left no stone unturned in your search to find the root cause for the absence of your periods.

  20. As I read your blog this morning Gyl I was deeply inspired by what you have expressed here, thank you;
    “In stillness there is no doing, only being, and in this there is no way you can deny you are divine and deeply connected to God. There is a natural rhythm, life flows, there’s no need to try, push or rush. Stillness is as natural to us as breathing; it never leaves us”.

  21. I have been driving in another country and it is amazing to me how stressful drivers can get, that they are prepared to put themselves at risk just so they can get one car in front of someone else. They must have nerves of steel or their nervous energy is off the Richter scale. So it’s no surprise that if most of us live in the constant tension of raciness and distraction, it would then make sense to me that our bodies can tell us that something is wrong because it is not working within its natural rhythm. If we took more care of ourselves and listened to our bodies more, I wonder if we would behave in such stressful ways?

  22. Great to be bringing the responsibility of our health and how we care for ourselves back into our own court Gyl. It can only start from there… and then everything else follows.

  23. So important to listen to the body’s messages of disharmony and bringing that back to how we are living, they go hand in hand and supported with medical support we can truly heal. Understanding the energetic truth of why we are experiencing something means we can care and love ourselves with a deep understanding.

  24. When we normalize what is effectively a disharmony in our body, be it absent periods, a sore back, a stiff shoulder, we are also normalizing a society that is also very much out of harmonious kilter. Each shrug and dismissal goes a long way and the ramifications ripple beyond so much more than we would -dismissively- care to consider.

  25. How many of us have just ignored the fact that our period has been late or missing for a month and thought nothing of it, this is a must read blog for women of all ages. To become aware of the fact that how we live is reflected in our body, and having late or missed periods is not something that we should gloss over, but deeply feel into the cause of its late arrival and how we have been living that has resulted in this.

  26. This all feels true to me Gyl, a problem is that periods are only understood at the function level whereas there is many other levels of understanding that we could develop if we were open to it. For a start they are a part of the grand divine design of the human body and they serve a far deeper purpose than function.

  27. Our bodies can not but reflect back to us our choices, for they share the particles which are subject to the of Divine laws of the Universe.

  28. A woman who gets her periods isn’t necessarily in rhythm with her natural cycles nor may they have any relationship with stillness. This goes to show us that our body can work at a functional level, suppressing and burying issues deeper into the body.

  29. Just because so many women are having problems with their menstrual cycle does not make it normal. Great not to accept that and look at what it could be about and how we are living that is at the root of it.

  30. Gyl, This is a beautiful way to be, ‘It’s about learning to deeply embody and connect to the quality of stillness in my body first – then doing what needs to be done from there – rather than from raciness, stress, drive, nervous energy or anxiety.’ I have experienced the difference between moving from this stillness and moving with stress and rush and they feel so different, moving from stillness first I find that everything flows, I feel energised and my body feels great and I have beautiful connections with people. Moving in a rush and with drive; the beautiful connection with people is not there and my body aches. I have started walking to work, making sure I am present in my body and not rushing so that when I go into work, this is the quality I start working in.

  31. ‘It’s about learning to deeply embody and connect to the quality of stillness in my body first – then doing what needs to be done from there – rather than from raciness, stress, drive, nervous energy or anxiety.’ This is exactly what I am learning to embody and to clock when I choose to leave my stillness behind and choose the other non supportive qualities, these are the ones that truly hurt my body. Life is all about living in the quality that we innately are, your dedication to come back to who you truly are is inspiring to read and a testimonial for taking good care of yourself, knowing you are responsible for the condition your body is in.

  32. Taking responsibility for our manifestations of symptoms is all important in today’s world. We can see the outplay of recklessness and irresponsiblity in the rise of obesity worldwide, for example. . Your blog shows us how we can refine our way of living – beautiful. Using the Esoteric Healing modalities is a great way to do this, combined with a doctor’s support. Thankyou Gyl.

  33. We need to be able to discern what is ‘normal’ for us and not follow blindly what others say, however expert in their field, they appear to be. As we pay more attention and become more aware it becomes easier to read what is actually going on but doubts can creep in and thoughts play on our mind. Becoming still, from the inside allows for a return to equanimity and allows access to all that we are.

  34. ‘ I’m re-learning to deeply take care of myself and my body, to nurture myself, to speak and live my truth, deepen my awareness and honour my feelings again.’ I love the word re-learning in this context as it is something we innately do know as it is natural for us to truly care and nurture and be ourselves.

  35. When my periods first stopped I had no clue about the Stillness within me, my sweetness or delicateness. I didn’t listen to my body very much unless it shouted. After four years my relationship has deepened and yet still no period, so what’s going on? I could stamp my feet and demand my reward (the period returning) but somehow I know that ain’t the way. Period or not, the absence of such has made space for me to explore the qualities that are within me that are greater than physicality and I feel it’s in the allowing of these qualities to flow in life is what will be most supportive. Time will tell I suppose and I feel the same Gyl, in that both Conventional and Esoteric Medicine need to both be included, as such, reading this again makes me wonder if there’s anything further on a physical level I can support myself with, Thank you.

  36. The word that comes to mind when the word Stillness is mentioned is quality. Too much motion makes life too functional and focussed about what we do. Stillness is the crucial balance that brings the importance of quality back into the equation and not just any quality, energetic quality, that is the quality of the being who is involved in the action.

  37. What a huge difference it makes to build awareness in our quality of movements, through our quality of connection. This is key and everything after that either flows with the same quality, building a deeper awareness and relationship with ourselves, or it moves us further away against our natural flow and rhythm.

  38. My period is a big thing – and since I stopped breast feeding, I really appreciate having it back. But it was only when I didn’t get my period that I was able to see what it would be like without it – it felt very strange. So this shows there is a much deeper level of appreciating we can do for the cycle of my body.

  39. Wow there is everything in this blog that shows us how to live in harmony with ourselves or not. Living in harmony with ourselves is the first step in living in harmony with everything and everyone else….great thank you Gyl.

  40. We find so many ways to avoid responsibility yet our body is always there showing us our choices and our pathway to return to the divine order and harmony we are naturally from.

  41. It is interesting how we use the word normal. We are reaching a point where it is normal to be obese, normal to drink alcohol, it will not be long until it is normal to have dementia as we age and even cancer…. so on this measure it might well (or rather unwell) be normal to not have a regular period – but none of these things are healthy and all are messages from our body as you have described.

  42. Doctors should use the word normal more carefully and not in the way that this doctor did which is just saying everyone else is heading for illness too so don’t worry about it. Normal should mean how a healthy body would behave not how the mass of unhealthy ones do.

  43. This will be an inspiration to many women that suffer from not having their periods for a prolonged time. I can imagine it would be a very difficult to not have your cycle, I cannot say I have experienced it myself but obviously it is the body giving us a needed message if this is occurring. I am very inspired nevertheless to have a look at how I run my day, for we are all different and although I have regular periods my body may end up presenting a different illness or dis-ease as a way of arresting my multitasking and inability to stop.

  44. Our periods are a great reflection of our everyday livingness, and missing a period often means we are not being present with ourselves on a regular basis, that we are always living ahead of ourselves or our body is being run through anxiousness and nervous energy, when we stop and connect to our stillness we drop back into our natural rhythm again.

  45. It is amazing how each step that confirms an ill choice can lead us so far away from our innate self that our body can halt functions that would otherwise be part of our natural rhythm should we be living in it. The body is a remarkable marker in exposing our disregard and it is a blessing that through listening to it and honouring its messages, that we can bring ourselves back to what is true.

  46. Thank you for sharing your willingness to look at your missing periods and take all the necessary steps to put a supportive programme of self-care in place and what is even more inspiring is that despite your periods returning you are still committed to deepening this process further.

  47. We know what it feels like when we feel harmonious and at ease, yet often we accept this feeling of constant dis-ease, low-grade anxiety and constant motion as ‘normal’. It may be normal if that’s what we’re used to experiencing, but that state is far from our body’s natural way of being.

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