Two Doctors and a Patient

by Jennifer Smith, RN, Australia 

Today at work I witnessed something very beautiful, although it was something very ordinary. I watched two of my colleagues – two doctors – have a conversation about a patient.

Nothing unusual about this, given that we were all in a hospital. What was beautiful was the way they were with each other and then the patient.

This particular patient had only very recently received a very serious medical diagnosis. There had been a lot of medical assessments, tests and treatments in the previous 48 hours. All of which is often very overwhelming for anyone in this situation.

As I went about my work, organising patients for my day, I saw these two doctors standing together, talking to each other, and one was handing the care of the patient over to the other doctor as they were changing shifts. The thing that stood out the most was how genuinely caring they were, especially in the way they spoke of the person. They were considering everything about this person and their family.

Together they then spoke with the patient in a very ordinary fashion, very professional, but also connected to this patient as another human being.

You may be asking, so what’s so special about this, surely it happens every day?

This is true, however what I love about this moment was that I observed it and took note.

You see only a few years ago I would have not observed the way that these two doctors interacted with each other and would have dismissed how they spoke with the patient.

Over the last few years, with the support of Universal Medicine, I have been able to look at some of the beliefs that I have firmly held onto. One of them related to doctors and to medicine itself. One of these beliefs was that I thought doctors didn’t care, being sometimes put off by their manner, which could be abrupt, impersonal and rushed. I had seen doctors rush with patients and patients often said that they didn’t feel comfortable in talking to them as they never seemed to have the time.

One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.

The doctors and all of my other colleagues are genuinely caring people who really do care for their patients. None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.

This is especially important to see in a system that can seem so impersonal and rushed, even to someone who works within this system.

The other super important thing here was the fact that I chose to see this moment, for I am now sure that there have been many such moments that I have not even noticed before. In fact I am now a keen observer of all that goes on where I work, and there are many exquisitely beautiful moments between patients, relatives, cleaners, kitchen staff…everyone in fact.

As I ponder on why I am observing this now and not so much before, I can only put it down to how I treat and care for myself. The more open, tender and genuinely caring I am with myself, the more I see this in others.

Even though at times we may behave in ways that do not reflect the truly caring beings that we are, I know without doubt that this is our natural way and I now regularly see this in other people – the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care.

 

Read more:

  1. From exhaustion and feeling false to feeling vital and truly looking after myself – another great article by Jen
  2. Nursing, me and Serge Benhayon
  3. Compassionate care 

799 thoughts on “Two Doctors and a Patient

  1. It is beautiful to feel your appreciation not only for the interaction you witnessed but also for how your increasing levels of self-care have increased your awareness. No doubt this is felt by your colleagues and supports them as they work in often challenging circumstances.

  2. It is true what you say, we are all naturally caring, as humans this is normal for us. We are not perfect and we are forever learning and letting go of what does not feel true. Our openness and tenderness is what supports to go deeper.

  3. As the article is saying I am sure this care goes on every day but most of us don’t see it or appreciate it or bother to express it to another, after all we are too busy. It goes to show when you take a deeper level of care to yourself how you can then hold this with and for others around you. We for so long have been taught and told to take care of others without turning that care to ourselves first. We treat it as something we need to do and not something to live first. I remember back and also even now the easiest person to see or listen to is someone that has lived what they are saying. As they say anyone can say anything but it is those that live their words that lead the world truly. If you are seeing around you a life that appears it is void of care then bring that care you are seeing is needed to yourself and keep bringing it and then bring it some more. We should never stand back when we see something is missing, we should roll up our sleeves and treat this as a point to go deeper with ourselves.

  4. Absolutely beautiful when everyone works together as a team, taking responsibility for the care of the patient and those involved not only on a medical side but also those on the patients side too.

    1. I agree Susan and it is a revelation to most, as most believe that love comes towards them from another, when in fact it comes from them towards all and everything. Love is an emanation therefore when we are emanating love, whatever it is that we do or whoever it is that we are with, will be embraced by that love.

      1. I love how you have put this Alexis. Love comes from us towards all and everything. It’s not about grabbing at it, when we are feeling empty or bereft of it, as we haven’t given it to ourselves. When we feel this way we should be the first person to be with and consult with. This will grow that intimacy with ourselves and as a consequence refill us as love comes bubbling up from within.

  5. I love how you wrote that you are a keen observer of all that goes on where you work and I guess everywhere in your life, there is so much care to observe when we have opened our eyes or should I say our hearts for the love that we are and that surrounds us.

  6. I sometimes wonder if nurses secretly like to hear patients complain about how uncaring, rushed or dismissive their doctor is. This news gives value to the nurse, a niche they can fill by being caring, attentive and dare I say it, self-sacrificing. Nurses can significantly undervalue their own worth and this comparison with doctors can bolster their lack of inner worth. What needs to change for nurses is that they value who they are and what they bring, without any comparison or reliance on what we do for others. We all bring something unique to healthcare and our patients, that’s why we have a team.

  7. Great blog Jennifer which has made me ask myself how much are my eyes willing to see throughout my day and how much any ideals or beliefs I have can discolour what is true.

  8. People place a great demand on Doctors by constantly expecting them to heal them by correcting years of lifestyle choices made (and sometimes continue to make) with a procedure or some tablets but we must never forget that they too are only human.

  9. This reminds me of my friend who was taken into hospital for stomach pains and ended up in a ward full of women who had liver damage and complications due to drinking too much alcohol. One conversation a Dr had with a young woman who had two small children was that she was going to die within the year if she did not stop drinking. He was very up front with her, but this directness stopped my friend in her tracks as she realised that there was no accident she was admitted onto this ward. At that moment she was feeling her choices and realised that she had to change her life, and the way she was living.

  10. Something worth remembering at all times: “we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.”…hence this allows us to drop any judgements about another person, and to know that deep within we are all the same and all genuinely caring about each other.

  11. It is so true that the more we connect with our true loving and caring nature or essence and become more understanding with ourselves in our imperfections when we are not expressing this essence, the more we are like this with everyone else.

  12. “You may be asking, so what’s so special about this, surely it happens every day?” On the contrary, it doesn’t happen enough. Or maybe if I handle myself with greater care as you have, I will see it around me more also?

  13. Reading your blog today Jennifer I am realising how, if my level of self care is low, it discolours how I see the world. It is as if I have put a cloudy filter over my eyes so I don’t see the beauty around me.

  14. ‘In fact I am now a keen observer of all that goes on where I work, and there are many exquisitely beautiful moments between patients, relatives, cleaners, kitchen staff…everyone in fact’ This is true also where I work Jennifer and I find, if I open my eyes to observe, each day offers new moments of beautiful connections.

  15. We all do care, that is so true Jennifer, and despite how at times life may not look like this, underneath it all we do. It’s such an important reminder to look underneath and understand this and to know that how we live affects what we see, so the more we show our care for ourselves and others in the world the more we see care and the more we create a space for all of us to express our natural care.

  16. An amazing alchemy occurs time and time again if we see people for who they truly are. Even the toughest and most disheartened of men can turn around and meet you with the care and tenderness they naturally are. The world needs us to behold it, in the truth of our essence – it is then that the harsh pains and sorrows melt away and the essence we have within, starts to shine through again.

  17. The day is full of these moments. Our appreciation is what makes them shine and be seen for what they bring

  18. Thank you Jennifer for highlighting just how important is for us to reflect who we truly are, that essentially love is our true way of being. As you have shared we often can get caught in emotions, losing sense of who we are and behave in ways that do not represent who we are. How healing and powerful is it then to be reminded of the truth, to be met with a reflection of who we really are and the love and care we all do ultimately crave to live, be met with and share with each other.

  19. Through deepening our awareness we are able to choose to observe everything around us in a way that we are able to read with a deeper level of understanding and nominating what we have observed is very confirming of our awareness and what is being offered as a reflection.

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