Two Doctors and a Patient

by Jennifer Smith, RN, Australia 

Today at work I witnessed something very beautiful, although it was something very ordinary. I watched two of my colleagues – two doctors – have a conversation about a patient.

Nothing unusual about this, given that we were all in a hospital. What was beautiful was the way they were with each other and then the patient.

This particular patient had only very recently received a very serious medical diagnosis. There had been a lot of medical assessments, tests and treatments in the previous 48 hours. All of which is often very overwhelming for anyone in this situation.

As I went about my work, organising patients for my day, I saw these two doctors standing together, talking to each other, and one was handing the care of the patient over to the other doctor as they were changing shifts. The thing that stood out the most was how genuinely caring they were, especially in the way they spoke of the person. They were considering everything about this person and their family.

Together they then spoke with the patient in a very ordinary fashion, very professional, but also connected to this patient as another human being.

You may be asking, so what’s so special about this, surely it happens every day?

This is true, however what I love about this moment was that I observed it and took note.

You see only a few years ago I would have not observed the way that these two doctors interacted with each other and would have dismissed how they spoke with the patient.

Over the last few years, with the support of Universal Medicine, I have been able to look at some of the beliefs that I have firmly held onto. One of them related to doctors and to medicine itself. One of these beliefs was that I thought doctors didn’t care, being sometimes put off by their manner, which could be abrupt, impersonal and rushed. I had seen doctors rush with patients and patients often said that they didn’t feel comfortable in talking to them as they never seemed to have the time.

One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.

The doctors and all of my other colleagues are genuinely caring people who really do care for their patients. None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.

This is especially important to see in a system that can seem so impersonal and rushed, even to someone who works within this system.

The other super important thing here was the fact that I chose to see this moment, for I am now sure that there have been many such moments that I have not even noticed before. In fact I am now a keen observer of all that goes on where I work, and there are many exquisitely beautiful moments between patients, relatives, cleaners, kitchen staff…everyone in fact.

As I ponder on why I am observing this now and not so much before, I can only put it down to how I treat and care for myself. The more open, tender and genuinely caring I am with myself, the more I see this in others.

Even though at times we may behave in ways that do not reflect the truly caring beings that we are, I know without doubt that this is our natural way and I now regularly see this in other people – the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care.

 

Read more:

  1. From exhaustion and feeling false to feeling vital and truly looking after myself – another great article by Jen
  2. Nursing, me and Serge Benhayon
  3. Compassionate care 

860 thoughts on “Two Doctors and a Patient

  1. To let go of the protective armour of ideals, beliefs and hurts that we have chosen to contract and harden ourselves over with, also heals the deep separation these emotions have perpetuated.
    “One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this”

  2. This is a great example about being caring and even loving at work and we can live that way all day, every day. It is actually more fun to live that way.

  3. When a doctor takes the time to connect with their patients and allows time to talk and discuss matters with them, they get to feel the depth of care that is being given to them, and how lovingly they are being looked after too which make a huge difference to their recovery.

  4. “One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this” – this is very beautiful, something I would want to deny flat out on some days, but true nonetheless. Thank you for clocking and capturing this moment of ordinariness. This touches me deeply.

  5. The sad fact is that we have lost touch with the truth that we all are beings in a human body, equal in essence, and all equally deserving to be treated with love, honor and respect wherever we are, who ever we are with and whatever we are doing. That this is not our normal highlights how far we have digressed in our self-indulgence and self-importance to allow abuse to be accepted in our relationship with ourselves and one another.

  6. True Jennifer we are all truly caring beings but we allow hurts, systems, investments to name but a few, to come in the way and than it seems we don’t care but when we start to remove and let go of this ‘coloured glasses we start to see there is so much more to observe of care in action and I agree everyone who works in the healthcare system is truly loving to care.

  7. Doctors go into the profession because they care and want to help and they are in a system that is buckling under extreme pressure whereby they are pushed to move from one patient to another at pace sometimes. To be able to stop, take a moment and also to be able to share that moment with us so we too can add to the appreciation is a blessing – thank you.

  8. To focus on what is wrong and missing in another, means we fail to see their true essence and this limits both of us.

  9. Jennifer, I love what you share here. That you noticed the quality of conversation between two doctors about their patient in the first place and then your honesty about yourself and how you’ve changed. It’s easy to generalise about the medical profession and doctors (I’ve done the same in the past) and a blessing when we move on from this and begin to see and appreciate life and people in new ways. I’ve met many kind and responsive medical staff in and out of hospitals and I’m hugely appreciative of them. And even when I meet those who are less responsive, I’m learning to be with that too, without reacting. Remembering always, how we are with others, reflects how we are with ourselves.

  10. The dedication and care from doctors and other medical staff is often overlooked when a patient, or a patient’s family want an answer now. The emotions bubbling away often take over and with it the clouding of the fact that this person is in this profession because they care and want to make a difference. It is simply that sometimes the outcome the patient wants is not possible.

  11. Two years on from writing this blog I realise I now love doctors. I have had the opportunity to work with doctors and get to know them at a whole new level over the last few years. What I love the most is how caring they are, how dedicated they are and how they love true support. Not being told what to do, which is what I think I may have done at some point. They love being part of a team, which is no different from anyone. They are not special but they are darn right amazing.

    1. Important proclamation to make ‘ I now love doctors’ They (along with nurses)are life savers, work in intensely pressurised environments and most do truly care. When we break down distinctions between medical staff and give equal value to all of them, I imagine makes for great team working.

      1. Yes it does indeed Kehinde. Working in the community setting, I speak to a lot of GP’s over the phone. Not always having the opportunity to meet them face to face. I got to meet one today in fact and it was a joy to meet each other, because of the contact we had had over the last 2 weeks. Team work with doctors means so much more now.

      2. Jennifer, I sense the beautiful ripple effect of you fully honouring yourself and doctors you work with – the essence true team work.

    2. This is gorgeous Jennifer – as you have deepened your awareness, you have a deeper level of appreciation for the medical staff teams you work with. I agree with you -Doctors are amazing and so to are all the staff who are part of the greater team working in every job in the hospital.

  12. I have noticed the more we care for ourselves the easier it is to care for others, and we also notice more of our surroundings and what goes on, which in turn makes it easier for us to respond to what is needed.

    1. Yes it becomes so normal. I don’t realise it is not normal for others till others point it out. We are each reflections for each other of deeper levels of care and kindness.

    2. Yes, this is a very strong feedback loop, especially when we are able to deal with the times it becomes difficult to care.

  13. Wherever we are when we express in a caring and loving manner that can be felt. So too can anger, frustration and sadness etc. It is important to feel these things and dig them out by their roots. Our conscious choice of expression holds much responsibility.

  14. When those in a hospital environment all care for each other there is a healing that is deeper than seeking a cure of symptoms of a patient.

  15. You can erode a person’s sense of self and make them perform as a machine according to the standards set by a society, but you can never take away the capacity we all have as humans to connect deeply with each other.

  16. It’s like when disasters happen, and it gives people the opportunity to be in true community… The thing is, imagine not having to have illness or disaster to allow ourselves to fill this deep and innate connection.

      1. Exactly… And the more people understand this, feel this, and live this, it provides a reflection that is not there in the world now, it gives people the opportunity to feel that spherical quality that is our true nature.

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