by Jennifer Smith, RN, Australia
Today at work I witnessed something very beautiful, although it was something very ordinary. I watched two of my colleagues – two doctors – have a conversation about a patient.
Nothing unusual about this, given that we were all in a hospital. What was beautiful was the way they were with each other and then the patient.
This particular patient had only very recently received a very serious medical diagnosis. There had been a lot of medical assessments, tests and treatments in the previous 48 hours. All of which is often very overwhelming for anyone in this situation.
As I went about my work, organising patients for my day, I saw these two doctors standing together, talking to each other, and one was handing the care of the patient over to the other doctor as they were changing shifts. The thing that stood out the most was how genuinely caring they were, especially in the way they spoke of the person. They were considering everything about this person and their family.
Together they then spoke with the patient in a very ordinary fashion, very professional, but also connected to this patient as another human being.
You may be asking, so what’s so special about this, surely it happens every day?
This is true, however what I love about this moment was that I observed it and took note.
You see only a few years ago I would have not observed the way that these two doctors interacted with each other and would have dismissed how they spoke with the patient.
Over the last few years, with the support of Universal Medicine, I have been able to look at some of the beliefs that I have firmly held onto. One of them related to doctors and to medicine itself. One of these beliefs was that I thought doctors didn’t care, being sometimes put off by their manner, which could be abrupt, impersonal and rushed. I had seen doctors rush with patients and patients often said that they didn’t feel comfortable in talking to them as they never seemed to have the time.
One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.
The doctors and all of my other colleagues are genuinely caring people who really do care for their patients. None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.
This is especially important to see in a system that can seem so impersonal and rushed, even to someone who works within this system.
The other super important thing here was the fact that I chose to see this moment, for I am now sure that there have been many such moments that I have not even noticed before. In fact I am now a keen observer of all that goes on where I work, and there are many exquisitely beautiful moments between patients, relatives, cleaners, kitchen staff…everyone in fact.
As I ponder on why I am observing this now and not so much before, I can only put it down to how I treat and care for myself. The more open, tender and genuinely caring I am with myself, the more I see this in others.
Even though at times we may behave in ways that do not reflect the truly caring beings that we are, I know without doubt that this is our natural way and I now regularly see this in other people – the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care.
- From exhaustion and feeling false to feeling vital and truly looking after myself – another great article by Jen
- Nursing, me and Serge Benhayon
- Compassionate care
824 thoughts on “Two Doctors and a Patient”
There are some really abusive and disturbing things that happen in the world, and watching the news regularly or reading the newspaper can highlight the negatives, it’s so important that we do see the acts of love and care in the world, and see the inherent decency in people.
‘…the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care’ Yes, that was exactly what I was feeling while reading this blog. There must be great love for people, to closely work with them in such difficult times. This needs to be appreciated more as a service offered with care, repairs us much more than just the physical. Thanks for your reflection on that, Jennifer.
The ridiculous thing is Susan that all we would have to do to care for ourselves and others more deeply is to stop actively not caring. Caring for and indeed loving ourselves and others is as easy as allowing ourselves to be taken by a current but we fight it constantly, we kick and thrash around, we put constant effort into not caring and not letting ourselves love and be loved. Crazy isn’t it? But true.
Just one person deeply and truly caring for themselves makes more of a difference to the whole of Life than an army of volunteers who are in disregard for themselves digging a well for a village in Africa and that is because each of us is a interconnected patch of Life and so how we treat the patch of Life that is us effects the patchwork quilt of us all.
Jennifer, what a beautiful read, even though we may not observe this on a daily basis, to know that this still occurs is lovely to read about. We tend to hang onto the ‘what is not’, rather than the ‘what is’.
As health care professionals, there must be something within us to care about people, otherwise we wouldn’t be in this profession.
Anything is possible if we just give it a go and allow the true care to come though us. It doesn’t have to come from being dutiful, it doesn’t need to come with emotions, it just comes through with genuine love for people. We just need to keep the simplicity of it all instead of being caught up in the calamity of life.
What’s so beautiful Jen, is that you noticed that you notice the communication between two doctors and a patient. When we are fully present, tender and loving with ourselves we are more present and observant of others and world around us.
Kehinde, isn’t it fascinating when we are present with ourselves we observe more of the beauty of the world. When we are caught up in the calamity of life and the negativity we seldom observe this. Amongst the rubbish and nonsense that goes around in the world, there is more caring and love around. We tend to focus on the lack or the negativity, then the richness and love around us.
If we then placed our awareness or attention to the latter, what would the world and life then look like?
When we love life, life loves us in return.
It’s absolutely gorgeous when we can clock a godliness in our everyday ordinary, and that makes me realise it’s that we appreciate, confirm and inhale – our very natural normal, so that we can exhale in expansion.
The fact that we’re always looking for God in the extraordinary means that we miss Him every time. God is in the ordinary, He’s in the me and the you of Life, He IS the me and you of Life, that’s exactly what He is.
At the core of all humans lays a deep care and love for each other regardless of our religion, race, creed or profession. It is a deeply gorgeous thing to watch this surface so naturally and so beautifully. It is the truth of who we are.
Hence we need to change our system, as it has lost the deep meaning of why we are in the profession, to truly care in our most loving way.
Reading about your own appreciation for how much you have changed is very inspiring.
I used to have negative beliefs about doctors and Western Medicine but that all went out the window when I attended a presentation by Serge Benhayon at a Universal Medicine event and he spoke about the importance of medical care as part of our self care. I have since made many changes and see my doctors regularly and have had some surgeries, what I have experienced is very decent people working in medicine who genuinely care about others, and I’ve also appreciated their skill and expertise. It’s truly wonderful what human beings can do when we work together with a common purpose to care for each other.
When one person in a group, or hospital ward, lives with love and care this can inspire others to choose the same medicine for the benefit of all.
To let go of the protective armour of ideals, beliefs and hurts that we have chosen to contract and harden ourselves over with, also heals the deep separation these emotions have perpetuated.
“One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this”
This is a great example about being caring and even loving at work and we can live that way all day, every day. It is actually more fun to live that way.
When a doctor takes the time to connect with their patients and allows time to talk and discuss matters with them, they get to feel the depth of care that is being given to them, and how lovingly they are being looked after too which make a huge difference to their recovery.
“One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this” – this is very beautiful, something I would want to deny flat out on some days, but true nonetheless. Thank you for clocking and capturing this moment of ordinariness. This touches me deeply.