By Ruth Ketnor, Customer Advisor, London
In 1997 I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. I had had the symptoms for several years before diagnosis but it wasn’t recognized. Even when diagnosed, there was little known about how to manage or treat it and to a large part this remains the case today.
At this time in 1997, I had a trauma that I felt I couldn’t cope with, my trust plummeted, with little awareness I withdrew … I gave up and my day to day living with the ‘normal’ exhaustion of life became fatigue, then … Chronic Fatigue. My body became depleted and my lymph glands enlarged. I dropped lots of weight in a short amount of time and became very thin. I stopped trusting the world and more importantly myself.
My energy was on the floor way beyond exhaustion, my body ached deeply all over, as did my joints. I regularly had intense stinging in my muscles such that I just had to lie still because any slight movement made it worse, they would feel stiff and as if they were full of something that shouldn’t be there. It was difficult to breathe as even this would make it worse. My sleep pattern was very disturbed and I had intense anxiety. My lymph glands were swollen and painful a lot of the time and I often had a sore throat. I had regular infections and viruses. My mind was very dull, I was unable to think straight or keep up with anyone, physically or mentally. I couldn’t listen to the radio or watch TV as my mind was too dull to process the information. My senses were heightened, so most of the time I had the curtains shut because I was sensitive to light, and I couldn’t tolerate sounds, smells or many foods.
At my worst, my day lasted only 5 hours from beginning to end, though I always got up at some point in the day, as something in me just couldn’t stay in bed continually. I strived to get myself better. I asked the doctor ‘what ever you think it is, if it’s psychological I’ll do what ever it takes’ but there didn’t seem to be a cause that they could see. I also had chronic severe migraines. I was awarded Disability Living Allowance … for life!
Over the years my condition improved but never went away completely, relapsing often along with other health problems or emotional reactions. My energy levels never sustained and I lived in a ‘crash and burn’ way, which just amplified the fatigue. I forced my body to do things, I used to drive it, then suffered the consequences afterwards with even worse fatigue. I used coffee, which I called my ‘false energy’ to get things done if necessary, only to then have to sleep for 24 hours to recover from the stimulation of the caffeine and the forced activity on my already shattered body.
In 2011 I started to get a new understanding about my condition and in relation to how I was living through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Things started to piece together, I could see a pattern to my life and at last a growing awareness of what Chronic Fatigue was. A shift in me began with a willingness to look at myself and how I had been reacting to life.
I learned that chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely.
My pattern in life from a very young age has been to withdraw, if something scared me, hurt me, got too much or I couldn’t cope; with nowhere to escape to, this was my way of coping.
My condition was made fun of at times, which of course confirmed the safety of with-drawing more.
So I embarked on a journey to build trust in myself by making a commitment to myself and life, starting with very short walks and caring for myself, focusing on the quality of how I did things for myself, tenderly, lovingly, building this love in my body. I began listening to my body and learning what supported me, and what didn’t. The Gentle Breath Meditation presented by Serge Benhayon helped me hugely to connect to my body. Addressing and letting go of things that had hurt me in the past, and in the present that would or could trigger me to withdraw, learning to deal with them differently by staying with my body, staying present with my inner strength and the love that I was building, rather than drifting off into day dreaming, watching TV, getting emotional, or eating foods that would stop me feeling. These were all part of what was needed to help heal my chronic fatigue.
I was trapped in a cycle of being afraid of making myself worse, so I was afraid to do more than what I knew was safe. I got caught in this mindset for many years, “I’ll get more tired, I’ll get worse. I can’t, I’m too tired.” But by making those small commitments to myself – a short walk, tenderly looking after myself, changing my part time work from self employed at home in a back room, safely tucked away, to working with and for people with the purpose to serve – I noticed that over the next 3 years as my commitment grew, my energy levels improved with it. As my body got stronger I started some simple exercises, beginning with 5 minutes a couple of times a week building to 15 minutes a day, so now my body is strengthened and more toned.
Seventeen years on I took the final steps out of chronic fatigue. In January 2015 I could feel something big was coming my way, it felt light and bright and amazing. I bided my time and in April I saw an employment position became vacant at a company I’d had an eye on for the last couple of years … waiting until I felt I was ready. The time was now, I knew it, I could feel it and applied … I got the job! … In the centre of London! I moved to London for the job and here I am living and working full time in the biggest city in the country with millions of people and I LOVE IT!
When I moved to London, my body let go of the last residues of Chronic Fatigue. It felt like it was leaving every cell of my body, it was remarkable. I felt so much lighter, my kidneys stopped hurting, I felt amazing, I had energy like I had not felt before. That light, bright and amazing thing coming my way was me! … I was coming back to me.
It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.
Chronic Fatigue keeps you stuck in a cycle that holds you back from who you truly are, separate from others and all you can bring to life. It takes will, commitment and responsibility to walk free of it, but it can be done; I know, because I did it, one step at a time, making loving choices for me.
I am a walking miracle … loving living life!!
With deep love and gratitude to Serge Benhayon and his living way, a constant inspiration to be love.
1,074 thoughts on “Chronic Fatigue – it doesn’t have to be this way.”
Although great to know where you were at some point, I love the way you didn’t allow the diagnosis to condition the life you wanted and knew it was possible to live. After lovingly taking the steps that were needed, you are now freed of its symptoms and ready to fully live your life with all the distilled learning. Thank you for sharing it and showing that this is possible.
AMAZING Ruth, truly amazing, a walking miracle indeed. I can’t image how that time must have been for you but it is so inspiring to hear how your relationship with yourself and life is now. Something I am sure would help many others who currently have Chronic Fatigue.
I also find being in contact with people, being out at the shops, talking to others, even waving at a stranger, there is something about simply being with people and making a connection that increases my energy and sense of wellness, as well as my connection to myself. We are made to be together and interact, and to express by being ourselves in our movements or how we speak, etc. Time alone is great when needed, but I’ve really noticed just how supportive and energy boosting it is to be with people.
” I began listening to my body and learning what supported me, and what didn’t.” This is invaluable, regardless of whether we have chronic fatigue or not. How often do we push through when our body is screaming ‘stop’?
Nothing has to be the way that it is but things are the way that they are because of the choices we’ve made. It really is as simple as that.
Yes Alexis, and we can change the way things are by changing our choices, in any moment. As you say it really is that simple.
Ruth, wow what a journey and inspiring to read.
If we looked at the general population, many people are suffering from some form of exhaustion and burnout. And if we looked at their lives, you’ll probably discover a commonality, TV, games, phones, social media etc. So where is the time to be with our body then?
Our lives are about people, we need each other to get us out of what we are suffering/experiencing and there are plenty of people that can truly assist another. This begins with you first and with the commitment and consistency to make a change in how we live, we can turn our lives around by living a more nurturing and loving way and spending more time with ourselves first before anything else.
I stopped watching TV a while ago but with time off work recently because of the summer holidays I found myself watching a programme or two. The effect on my body cannot be denied – there was a definite sluggishness and an increased unwillingness to commit to things that had to get done. The potential for negative thoughts to take hold was much increased too. The simplicity of making space to connect to your body consistently every day and to simply express from there, cannot be underestimated in the positive effect it has on how you feel and how you feel about life. This spills over into all the relationships we have.
It is very marked isn’t it Michelle, when having not watched TV for a while you go back to it, the effects are very noticeable.. and just how many there are. And that’s such an important point you make about how watching and not watching TV influences all our relationships.
I stopped watching TV because for me I felt like my life was passing me by, and I also noticed how hard it was to remain connected to myself and to my body because I would get involved in the programs. I also noticed that my body was experiencing emotional highs and lows and stresses based on what I was watching, not great for my health at all. I was surprised to realise I actually don’t miss TV at all now, in fact life feels richer.
Yes Doug, and what better research than the living evidence of those who have walked free of Chronic Fatigue, and many illnesses, turned their heath around by applying the simple teachings of the ageless wisdom as offered by Universal Medicine.
So true – so simple – and so healing. Of course there’s no money in adopting such simple but invaluable measures such as you have done. People need to come before profit. One day they will.
“the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely.” It makes sense that if something challenging or traumatic happens and we don’t seek support then we can embed ourselves into a reaction, such as withdrawing from life to create a false sense of safety, and then disconnect ourselves from engaging ourselves and our bodies fully with life. It seems that we then short circuit the kidney flow.
‘I am a walking miracle … loving living life!!’ Absolutely Ruth. This story needs to be told far and wide and when we look back in history to the impact that Universal Medicine has made on the life of the common man, there you will be in the top pages presenting for all to see the utter profundity of what it means to live connected to the body and the soul.
Ruth, you are a living and walking miracle, your story is astounding.
“I learned that chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely” – this is like a saber of light, this alone offers much clarity and direction. I just looked up chronic fatigue in a dictionary and it already comes with a heaviness of complexity, and ‘there’s not much you can do about it other than to manage it’ – such a contrast. And “Chronic Fatigue keeps you stuck in a cycle that holds you back from who you truly are, separate from others and all you can bring to life. It takes will, commitment and responsibility to walk free of it, but it can be done; I know, because I did it, one step at a time, making loving choices for me” – this is just absolutely stunning. Thank you for sharing your amazing journey, Ruth.
Fumiyo, it seems Chronic Fatigue not only keeps you stuck but, sucks the life force out of you, so why feed it? It definitely is a way to keep you separate from another. And when you come through the other side, life is stunning because people get to see the real you – life will certainly stunned by you then.
I recently realised that children can also develop chronic fatigue. I had no idea that this condition affected young children. Re-reading your blog has been great to get a better understanding of what organs in our body are affected by chronic fatigue. It makes sense that you mentioned the kidneys and the lymph glands, and loved how you explained the energetic side of this condition.
Thank you again Ruth for this amazing testimony, and for sharing so openly and in such a heartfelt way all that you experienced with your relationship to yourself and with life, and how with the help of Serge and Universal Medicine you could identify the triggers and behaviours causing you to withdraw from life. Your life now and full recovery is truly amazing to read, I especially liked that the light, bright thing you felt coming your way was actually you reconnecting in full to your own self.
Having met you recently Ruth I would never have guessed you once suffered from Chronic Fatigue as you are so full of vitality. It is to the detriment of our health and our society that the works of Universal Medicine are not more widely known.
I could not agree more Mary about the support of Universal Medicine, they have empowered and educated me in so many ways that my life is now unrecognisable to what it once was, I don’t have a ‘perfect life’ in that I still have quite severe health issues yet the being, the true me, is alive, expressive and alight again – that in itself is a beauty, richness, and joy I never dreamed was possible. The support of Universal Medicine has been so incredible that it is natural to understand what that could also mean for others.
That is amazing Ruth you are a walking miracle indeed. I know someone who recently was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and I was interested to find out more about this condition. Your blog is a brilliant read, thank you for sharing your incredible experience.
This blog needs to be in doctors’ surgeries up and down the land. There is so much for us to learn from it and so much opportunity for us to heal others should be aware of it and open to it too. Clearly it has taken a lot for you Ruth to get where you are at today – it hasn’t been easy and I am sure the process has been pretty painful, but to come out the other side so miraculously joyful and vital is advert enough that the commitment to healing has been more than worth the journey
Oh yes indeed Michelle, how I feel now is absolutely worth the journey.. every step, and what is remarkable is that now it seems so so long ago, like another life.
When we truly heal the cause energetically CFS can no longer be part of us, no longer in our body, and my process to get to this point now feels momentary and long long gone.
How simple it is for the answers to come when we start to look at how we have been living and our everyday choices and reactions.
Because of Serge Benhayon’s presentations this was my turning point and my pathway to move out of this condition.
The joy you feel Ruth is palpable and is so inspirational!
You definitely are a ‘walking miracle’ Ruth, and a very inspiring one at that. It simply goes to show that we are responsible for the state of our health, the quality of which is a direct result of the choices we have been making in our lives, especially in relation to our body. Change the choices = change your life, and the miracles are not far away.
I love your blog, as it shows as a living proof, that everything that Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon presents is nothing but supporting you to become more you and let go of patterns that made you sick and tired.
Much to appreciate and I know many, many people’s life and health have improved dramatically due to embracing the amazing teachings and healing modalities from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I used to feel exhausted and I didn’t even realise I was until I got myself out of it by embracing and living the Ageless Wisdom.
And what a testimony you are Doug to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. It never ceases to amaze me the huge life changes people are continually making from applying the teachings to their lives, as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Yes Stefanie, the support from Serge Benhayon has been immense and provided me with understandings and tools so I could walk out of this condition feeling lighter and more energised as I went.
Thank you for sharing your truly inspiring return to yourself and how by committing to treating yourself lovingly you were gently able to heal and connect to your purpose.
It is the not trusting yourself part of this article that really stands out, because I reckon this is the most damaging of all, when we lose our sensitive and intimate relationship with ourselves.
I would agree with you there Shami. To not trust the true inner conection we have with ourselves and allow the lack of self love, disregard and self doubt to take hold, we are on a downward spiral that can very quickly get out of control.
Well said Shami, there have been many times where I got myself out of some sticky situations due to trusting my sensitivity and trusting my feelings. And, I am learning to trust myself more and more.
Thank you Ruth again for all you have shared, it’s so helpful for me to review it all as for various reasons (including chronic insomnia) I have had chronic fatigue on and off for most of my life. It’s definitely a huge hurdle allowing oneself to do more without worrying it will be detrimental to the physical fragility that comes with a depleted body, and knowing when the timing is right to act, and also how to be active in a gentle quality connected to and aware of the body. Considering Western Medicine currently knows so little about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome it’s so supportive to be able to bring in the perspective of Esoteric Medicine as a perfect complement. “I learned that chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity.” As everything is energy this is how we can address the underlying cause of the condition to recover, which you have proven is very possible.
“It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.” The understanding of cause and effect of the way we live is beautiful medicine.
From what I have seen, most people would say ‘Chronic fatigue – I can’t make it go away’. You have succeeded in something few people seem to be able to.
Every step we make to surrender and listen to our body is a step towards supporting our health and well being. I cannot underestimate the impact on my body when I listen to it and take heed.
““It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.” Yes, so true – our choices have a lot to answer for – are they harming or healing us? And the ripple effect then goes out to others too…..
Reactions ought to come with a health warning.
“So I embarked on a journey to build trust in myself by making a commitment to myself and life, starting with very short walks and caring for myself, focusing on the quality of how I did things for myself, tenderly, lovingly, building this love in my body.” This is so beautiful Ruth – I can feel the tender care you began to use. And look at you now – and have been for quite a few years now!
Ruth, I have just come back to this blog after a while and reading it again I can hardly credit how far you have come! ‘I am a walking miracle … loving living life!!’ This may just be an understatement!
Again an article that should become a book about changing chronic fatigue into a vibrant, joyful, healthy life. What more proof is there, than us being the ones changing and totally resurrecting from the ill behaviours we´ve once chosen.
When the level of healing we have encountered becomes our normal every day it can be easy to consider it as such, not that we take it for granted necessarily, but what you have highlighted here Stefanie needs to be shouted from the rooftops so to speak. We are the ones who save ourselves, we are the ones who have the power to shift our momentums, patterns, and addictions. We are the ones who are in control of all the events that happen to us – nothing about our lives falls out of the sky randomly. They fall because we have constellated them to fall and if we have the power to constellate them to fall then we also have the power to honestly look at why and address them down to the last infinitesimal detail.
“Chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity” – if we can have this kind of understanding about our body, and that becomes the standard way we look at any dis-ease, it replaces responsibility, and power, back to us the patient. It may be received as a mental knowledge at first, but it carries an appeal our body recognizes and responds to.
“I began listening to my body and learning what supported me, and what didn’t. The Gentle Breath Meditation presented by Serge Benhayon helped me hugely to connect to my body. “ A beautiful testament to how we are able to help ourselves through committing to life and listening to our body.
This article highlights for me how there seems to be something particular about the human experience which is that when we are brought to so much pain and suffering that we finally begin to stop and take notice and seek to learn at the deepest levels of our existence exactly what it is that we are doing to ourselves.
‘what it is that we are doing to ourselves’ To me this is a key point Shami, and once we are willing to look at ourselves I found it is really important not to give oursleves a hard time about it, just understand why we made those choices and then change them.
It is empowering and life changing to do this, knowing it doesn’t have to be this way and we don’t have to be a victim to our circumstances, we can change our choices.
Withdrawing from life and reacting to life is not something we consider as contributing to chronic pain yet it clearly had a profound effect on you.
We tend to associate illness and disease with the physical aspects of life but rarely do we understand the energetic reasons behind our illness and disease. This blog is amazing for anyone who would like to have a better understanding of chronic fatigue which seems to be very difficult to treat.
It is not rocket science is it – so simple this truth – ” as my commitment grew, my energy levels improved with it.” But when we have tucked ourselves away, we can cover ourselves with so many stories that it is hard to unravel and return to the truth. But as you show here, it is possible.
It is possible and Ruth shows how.
We are here to be in life and to serve for others. Choosing this you are supplied by energy you would never get from food or any energy drink. It is your soul in expression that acts from a source that is limitless as it serves the all.
Love this addition.
Ruth, the biggest smile came over my face as I read this. A person returning to life, to live who they are in full in this world and no longer choose to hide themselves. You are a living miracle. Welcome back. The world is fuller with you in it.
It is now 3 years since I wrote this blog and recently I was filling a health questionnaire and forgot to put on it that I had had Chronic Fatigue. It feels such a long time ago, even as if I never had it. Clearing the energy of Chronic Fatigue has allowed me to move on in ways I would not have imagined, it is profound and at the same time feels completely natural that it has gone, me living more of me in the world.
Ruth thank you for the update, it might be supportive to have a website outlining how you feel you developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and your recovery, I also feel a book would be supportive for humanity too. It’s such a confusing condition for people to experience as well as for the medical profession, your input on a wider scale would be invaluable.
The understanding that you bring to the condition and the loving way that you share about it is certainly a gift for the many people who are affected by this condition either because they have it or know someone who does and often feel helpless to support, which in turn can lead to some really unhelpful comments/judgements.
I agree Helen, the understanding Ruth brings is so helpful to those experiencing and treating the condition, and for those around anyone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Amazing Ruth, you are an inspiration to us all. I can imagine so many people would love to read your story and understand how you have managed to heal this condition.
What a great testimony that if we learn what the root cause/the energetic cause is of our disease we can clear it and sometimes this means the symptoms and dysfunction are gone.
Yes Doug and it is important not to give ourselves a hard time about the choices we have made but to see them for what they are and with this awareness see the opportunity that awaits us, knowing that by changing our choices our body, health and life can change with them… rebalancing.
The teachings of Serge Benhayon have supported so many of us to make life changes beyond recognisable.
Yes Viktoria and the numbers continue to grow as do the life changes. For me certainly it has not stopped, from the unrecognisable changes to even more. Many testimonials have been written.. lives transformed.
And many more will be written, for the truth will surface in the test of time.
Staying present is a hugely supportive practice that helps us in so many ways – to be aware of what we’re feeling, and to stay with that, and not withdraw from it, helps us to deal with and clear it. When we’re withdrawn, it feels like we’re less consciously aware of what we’re reacting to, so we might be reacting all of the time, but not choosing to be aware of it, so that we don’t have to deal with it.
Inspiring to read how making simple loving choices, to commit more to life, actually improved your energy levels. It’s amazing to feel that our energy levels actually increase when we commit more to life – the total opposite of what we think will happen, and a total reflection of what true commitment is about – not doing more, but bringing more of our quality to whatever it is that is there to be done. No drive, no push, just showing up, in full, and without perfection.
Love this Bryony – ‘No drive, no push, just showing up, in full, and without perfection.” – This is all we have to do – stay connected and loving with ourselves – it really is simple.
When we begin the journey to commit to ourselves and life anything is possible because we start to realise there is far more to us than what we were ever told or taught. Our intake on life becomes more about humanity and less about self, not in a sacrificial way but from a place of a forever deepening commitment to self.
Yes there is so much more to life than we have considered and there are so many keys within that potential that we need to consider. How we do what we do and why we do what we do are clearly great places to start.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has shown by example how commitment and taking responsibility for our choices changes our lives.
“It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.” A beautiful realisation that we are responsible for the way we live.
I find i’m fatigued after not doing anything or just having ‘me time’. When i’m serving humanity and working with and for people, I feel super energised.
With purpose there is no space for fatigue.
It is wonderful to appreciate the journey of healing that each person makes when they come in to contact with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. But equally important is to recognise the contribution that that person is now making to their community, and to the wider society in general. And therein lies perhaps the greatest miracle of all.
And how, having made this commitment we are supported in all sorts of ways to heal and reconnect and to appreciate.
“It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.” Such a powerful statement and testament that we are the creators of our own reality and not victims to it.
And it is life changing when you come to this understanding and awareness as then it is in your hands to make changes, as I found.
And so with that understanding and awareness anything is possible.
With all the changes I’ve made from the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine never has any change been instant. It’s taken steps and my want to feel and make the changes that has made my life what it is now and still to change.
Yes Leigh. By taking it step by step there becomes a consistency in building the changes and a steadiness within, as each step is taken then another awareness comes, if we are open to it, for the next step to be embraced. It is a beautiful process if allowed to go at its own pace.
‘It is a beautiful process if allowed to go at its own pace’ – you’ve hit on something key here, and that is to always go at the pace that is respectful of, and listening to, where our body is really at, and not where we’d like it to be.
When we feel like something isn’t working – from our health, to a work project or a relationship – and we want to change it, it can be so tempting to try to race ahead and start doing things at double speed to try to correct things that we’re suddenly very aware of. But this puts a pressure, strain and force on the very thing that we want to work on, and it doesn’t work. What does work, is a step by step commitment to keep feeling what it is that needs adjusting, by feeling through our senses, and not through the imposition on the body of any picture of how we want things to be or feel.
Oh yes Bryony, I know this one, wanting to put your foot on the pedal and speed things up. It has been a big learning for me to listen to my body and trust and go at the pace it guides me to. I can still catch myself with this at times.
It’s so easy to override our bodies messages but step by step allows us to learn to hear those messages clearly and benefit from them.
We have the stories of a few miracles from aeons ago that still echo throughout humanity’s stories… And here we have living miracles telling their stories.
Well said cjames and I feel the basis of all of them is the re-connection and commitment to oneself, to life and to love.
Once one becomes aware of energy and how it plays out in life according to how one aligns to the true Source of life or not, it is simple to trace the trajectory of how one got to be in that state – we gave away our power to a force that is not true. But when you are in the thick of it, it seems as if there is no way out. thank heavens for the universal medicine modalities and practitioners.
Absolutely Lyndy. The presentations of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine modalities and practitioners open the door to an understanding about the energies at play that gives us the choice to make changes for ourselves.