Chronic Fatigue – it doesn’t have to be this way.

By Ruth Ketnor, Customer Advisor, London

In 1997 I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. I had had the symptoms for several years before diagnosis but it wasn’t recognized. Even when diagnosed, there was little known about how to manage or treat it and to a large part this remains the case today.

At this time in 1997, I had a trauma that I felt I couldn’t cope with, my trust plummeted, with little awareness I withdrew … I gave up and my day to day living with the ‘normal’ exhaustion of life became fatigue, then … Chronic Fatigue. My body became depleted and my lymph glands enlarged. I dropped lots of weight in a short amount of time and became very thin. I stopped trusting the world and more importantly myself.

My energy was on the floor way beyond exhaustion, my body ached deeply all over, as did my joints. I regularly had intense stinging in my muscles such that I just had to lie still because any slight movement made it worse, they would feel stiff and as if they were full of something that shouldn’t be there. It was difficult to breathe as even this would make it worse. My sleep pattern was very disturbed and I had intense anxiety. My lymph glands were swollen and painful a lot of the time and I often had a sore throat. I had regular infections and viruses. My mind was very dull, I was unable to think straight or keep up with anyone, physically or mentally. I couldn’t listen to the radio or watch TV as my mind was too dull to process the information. My senses were heightened, so most of the time I had the curtains shut because I was sensitive to light, and I couldn’t tolerate sounds, smells or many foods.

At my worst, my day lasted only 5 hours from beginning to end, though I always got up at some point in the day, as something in me just couldn’t stay in bed continually. I strived to get myself better. I asked the doctor ‘what ever you think it is, if it’s psychological I’ll do what ever it takes’ but there didn’t seem to be a cause that they could see. I also had chronic severe migraines. I was awarded Disability Living Allowance … for life!

Over the years my condition improved but never went away completely, relapsing often along with other health problems or emotional reactions. My energy levels never sustained and I lived in a ‘crash and burn’ way, which just amplified the fatigue. I forced my body to do things, I used to drive it, then suffered the consequences afterwards with even worse fatigue. I used coffee, which I called my ‘false energy’ to get things done if necessary, only to then have to sleep for 24 hours to recover from the stimulation of the caffeine and the forced activity on my already shattered body.

In 2011 I started to get a new understanding about my condition and in relation to how I was living through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Things started to piece together, I could see a pattern to my life and at last a growing awareness of what Chronic Fatigue was. A shift in me began with a willingness to look at myself and how I had been reacting to life.

I learned that chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely.

My pattern in life from a very young age has been to withdraw, if something scared me, hurt me, got too much or I couldn’t cope; with nowhere to escape to, this was my way of coping.

My condition was made fun of at times, which of course confirmed the safety of with-drawing more.

So I embarked on a journey to build trust in myself by making a commitment to myself and life, starting with very short walks and caring for myself, focusing on the quality of how I did things for myself, tenderly, lovingly, building this love in my body. I began listening to my body and learning what supported me, and what didn’t. The Gentle Breath Meditation presented by Serge Benhayon helped me hugely to connect to my body. Addressing and letting go of things that had hurt me in the past, and in the present that would or could trigger me to withdraw, learning to deal with them differently by staying with my body, staying present with my inner strength and the love that I was building, rather than drifting off into day dreaming, watching TV, getting emotional, or eating foods that would stop me feeling. These were all part of what was needed to help heal my chronic fatigue.

I was trapped in a cycle of being afraid of making myself worse, so I was afraid to do more than what I knew was safe. I got caught in this mindset for many years, “I’ll get more tired, I’ll get worse. I can’t, I’m too tired.” But by making those small commitments to myself – a short walk, tenderly looking after myself, changing my part time work from self employed at home in a back room, safely tucked away, to working with and for people with the purpose to serve – I noticed that over the next 3 years as my commitment grew, my energy levels improved with it. As my body got stronger I started some simple exercises, beginning with 5 minutes a couple of times a week building to 15 minutes a day, so now my body is strengthened and more toned.

Seventeen years on I took the final steps out of chronic fatigue. In January 2015 I could feel something big was coming my way, it felt light and bright and amazing. I bided my time and in April I saw an employment position became vacant at a company I’d had an eye on for the last couple of years … waiting until I felt I was ready. The time was now, I knew it, I could feel it and applied … I got the job! … In the centre of London! I moved to London for the job and here I am living and working full time in the biggest city in the country with millions of people and I LOVE IT!

When I moved to London, my body let go of the last residues of Chronic Fatigue. It felt like it was leaving every cell of my body, it was remarkable. I felt so much lighter, my kidneys stopped hurting, I felt amazing, I had energy like I had not felt before. That light, bright and amazing thing coming my way was me! … I was coming back to me.

It was my choices in reaction to life’s happenings that led me to have Chronic Fatigue and it was my loving choices that healed me from it.

Chronic Fatigue keeps you stuck in a cycle that holds you back from who you truly are, separate from others and all you can bring to life. It takes will, commitment and responsibility to walk free of it, but it can be done; I know, because I did it, one step at a time, making loving choices for me.

I am a walking miracle … loving living life!!

With deep love and gratitude to Serge Benhayon and his living way, a constant inspiration to be love.


Read more:

  1. Exhaustion and Chronic Fatigue

1,118 thoughts on “Chronic Fatigue – it doesn’t have to be this way.

  1. Although great to know where you were at some point, I love the way you didn’t allow the diagnosis to condition the life you wanted and knew it was possible to live. After lovingly taking the steps that were needed, you are now freed of its symptoms and ready to fully live your life with all the distilled learning. Thank you for sharing it and showing that this is possible.

  2. AMAZING Ruth, truly amazing, a walking miracle indeed. I can’t image how that time must have been for you but it is so inspiring to hear how your relationship with yourself and life is now. Something I am sure would help many others who currently have Chronic Fatigue.

  3. I also find being in contact with people, being out at the shops, talking to others, even waving at a stranger, there is something about simply being with people and making a connection that increases my energy and sense of wellness, as well as my connection to myself. We are made to be together and interact, and to express by being ourselves in our movements or how we speak, etc. Time alone is great when needed, but I’ve really noticed just how supportive and energy boosting it is to be with people.

  4. ” I began listening to my body and learning what supported me, and what didn’t.” This is invaluable, regardless of whether we have chronic fatigue or not. How often do we push through when our body is screaming ‘stop’?

    1. Yes Alexis, and we can change the way things are by changing our choices, in any moment. As you say it really is that simple.

  5. Ruth, wow what a journey and inspiring to read.

    If we looked at the general population, many people are suffering from some form of exhaustion and burnout. And if we looked at their lives, you’ll probably discover a commonality, TV, games, phones, social media etc. So where is the time to be with our body then?

    Our lives are about people, we need each other to get us out of what we are suffering/experiencing and there are plenty of people that can truly assist another. This begins with you first and with the commitment and consistency to make a change in how we live, we can turn our lives around by living a more nurturing and loving way and spending more time with ourselves first before anything else.

    1. I stopped watching TV a while ago but with time off work recently because of the summer holidays I found myself watching a programme or two. The effect on my body cannot be denied – there was a definite sluggishness and an increased unwillingness to commit to things that had to get done. The potential for negative thoughts to take hold was much increased too. The simplicity of making space to connect to your body consistently every day and to simply express from there, cannot be underestimated in the positive effect it has on how you feel and how you feel about life. This spills over into all the relationships we have.

      1. It is very marked isn’t it Michelle, when having not watched TV for a while you go back to it, the effects are very noticeable.. and just how many there are. And that’s such an important point you make about how watching and not watching TV influences all our relationships.

      2. I stopped watching TV because for me I felt like my life was passing me by, and I also noticed how hard it was to remain connected to myself and to my body because I would get involved in the programs. I also noticed that my body was experiencing emotional highs and lows and stresses based on what I was watching, not great for my health at all. I was surprised to realise I actually don’t miss TV at all now, in fact life feels richer.

  6. “the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely.” It makes sense that if something challenging or traumatic happens and we don’t seek support then we can embed ourselves into a reaction, such as withdrawing from life to create a false sense of safety, and then disconnect ourselves from engaging ourselves and our bodies fully with life. It seems that we then short circuit the kidney flow.

  7. ‘I am a walking miracle … loving living life!!’ Absolutely Ruth. This story needs to be told far and wide and when we look back in history to the impact that Universal Medicine has made on the life of the common man, there you will be in the top pages presenting for all to see the utter profundity of what it means to live connected to the body and the soul.

  8. “I learned that chronic fatigue is a condition of the kidneys, that the kidneys carry the energetic life force for the body; they are about commitment to life, yourself and humanity. Because of my reactions to things that had happened in my life previously, my commitment to life and myself dropped severely” – this is like a saber of light, this alone offers much clarity and direction. I just looked up chronic fatigue in a dictionary and it already comes with a heaviness of complexity, and ‘there’s not much you can do about it other than to manage it’ – such a contrast. And “Chronic Fatigue keeps you stuck in a cycle that holds you back from who you truly are, separate from others and all you can bring to life. It takes will, commitment and responsibility to walk free of it, but it can be done; I know, because I did it, one step at a time, making loving choices for me” – this is just absolutely stunning. Thank you for sharing your amazing journey, Ruth.

    1. Fumiyo, it seems Chronic Fatigue not only keeps you stuck but, sucks the life force out of you, so why feed it? It definitely is a way to keep you separate from another. And when you come through the other side, life is stunning because people get to see the real you – life will certainly stunned by you then.

  9. I heard yesterday that they are reporting a new finding related to chronic fatigue. I listened intently and it seems recent research convinces medicine that it is caused by an overactive immune system. But more research is needed to understand it better, yet they are offering crumbs of hope to sufferers who have been affected by this awful illness for years. If only they would listen to what the esoteric has offered and give it a try.

    1. Yes Doug, and what better research than the living evidence of those who have walked free of Chronic Fatigue, and many illnesses, turned their heath around by applying the simple teachings of the ageless wisdom as offered by Universal Medicine.

      1. So true – so simple – and so healing. Of course there’s no money in adopting such simple but invaluable measures such as you have done. People need to come before profit. One day they will.

  10. I recently realised that children can also develop chronic fatigue. I had no idea that this condition affected young children. Re-reading your blog has been great to get a better understanding of what organs in our body are affected by chronic fatigue. It makes sense that you mentioned the kidneys and the lymph glands, and loved how you explained the energetic side of this condition.

  11. Thank you again Ruth for this amazing testimony, and for sharing so openly and in such a heartfelt way all that you experienced with your relationship to yourself and with life, and how with the help of Serge and Universal Medicine you could identify the triggers and behaviours causing you to withdraw from life. Your life now and full recovery is truly amazing to read, I especially liked that the light, bright thing you felt coming your way was actually you reconnecting in full to your own self.

    1. Having met you recently Ruth I would never have guessed you once suffered from Chronic Fatigue as you are so full of vitality. It is to the detriment of our health and our society that the works of Universal Medicine are not more widely known.

      1. I could not agree more Mary about the support of Universal Medicine, they have empowered and educated me in so many ways that my life is now unrecognisable to what it once was, I don’t have a ‘perfect life’ in that I still have quite severe health issues yet the being, the true me, is alive, expressive and alight again – that in itself is a beauty, richness, and joy I never dreamed was possible. The support of Universal Medicine has been so incredible that it is natural to understand what that could also mean for others.

  12. There are so many people barely living, more existing because of chronic fatigue syndrome and relatedly labelled illnesses. It is sad that the teachings of Universal Medicine are not more widely understood because this is a condition that can be easily addressed when it is understood what the kidneys fully are about in the body and that this illness is related to the kidneys.

  13. That is amazing Ruth you are a walking miracle indeed. I know someone who recently was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and I was interested to find out more about this condition. Your blog is a brilliant read, thank you for sharing your incredible experience.

    1. This blog needs to be in doctors’ surgeries up and down the land. There is so much for us to learn from it and so much opportunity for us to heal others should be aware of it and open to it too. Clearly it has taken a lot for you Ruth to get where you are at today – it hasn’t been easy and I am sure the process has been pretty painful, but to come out the other side so miraculously joyful and vital is advert enough that the commitment to healing has been more than worth the journey

      1. Oh yes indeed Michelle, how I feel now is absolutely worth the journey.. every step, and what is remarkable is that now it seems so so long ago, like another life.

        When we truly heal the cause energetically CFS can no longer be part of us, no longer in our body, and my process to get to this point now feels momentary and long long gone.

        How simple it is for the answers to come when we start to look at how we have been living and our everyday choices and reactions.

        Because of Serge Benhayon’s presentations this was my turning point and my pathway to move out of this condition.

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