The Test of Life

by Leigh Matson, London, UK 

In life, we are always presented with opportunities to test ourselves and to learn from the results of these experiments. The quality of the experiments will vary, depending on how willing we are to be aware of what we are feeling.

For example, finding out if we have a food intolerance can be quite simple.

If we eat a certain food – we may get a reaction.

If we don’t eat that certain food – there is no reaction.

It simply requires us to stop for a moment to clock our body’s communication in response or reaction to this food.

If we were to eliminate the foods we react to for a period of time, we could then see and feel the results by feeling the effects in our bodies.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are taught to override and ignore these reactions, or messages from our bodies. So even though we may have a bodily reaction, we have been taught how to override these messages, so we can eat ‘normally’ and appear to be normal.

When I was young I could not eat gluten, because it caused various reactions such as a reddening of my face and a number of mood and behavioral disorders and 20 years ago gluten free food was not as readily available as it is now. So over time I learnt how to override and ‘grow out of’ being gluten intolerant. But what if we don’t ‘grow out of’ being intolerant, we just get better at masking the reaction?

Since I have eliminated gluten (and also dairy and sugar) from my diet, I have found that my energy levels, general health and wellbeing have increased.

So then what if we could apply this method of experimenting with ourselves to other areas of life?

I have been applying and practising this for some time now and my understanding continues to deepen. And the very basics of it were presented to me via the teachings and presentations of Universal Medicine, in that “Everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy” (Serge Benhayon). Thus we are energy and can read the energetic quality in anything. So if we get bloated after eating gluten, we can say that we are experiencing the end result of a choice of the energy we chose to use as our fuel for our movements. It can work both ways. We can choose the food, and our movements will have a certain quality thereafter (like going to sleep!). And we can choose the energy, after which our movements take on their flow and way of moving. This then opens up further questions such as – Why did I choose to experience that situation? What do I avoid feeling by choosing to do this instead?

So in the everyday situations it can look like this: taking stops and pauses during or after situations to feel the reactions or responses in the body.

  • How do I feel after having that thought?
  • Why do I feel so agitated right now? What energy is allowing me to feel this way? What occurred, what did I do, what was I doing before I noticed this agitation?
  • After a long day my feet sometimes hurt more than normal – so how was I walking today?
  • After that conversation I feel a sense of emptiness, need for more, or stimulated – why is that?

By taking regular moments to stop we can find patterns and if there is a pattern of end results, then there is a pattern of steps leading to that end result. A simple example at work is that having certain thoughts in my head leads to greater tension in the body, but this actually stems from how I move. I have found that harsh movements lead to harsh thoughts. The quality of my movements is important. Clocking the thoughts has been the first step and I feel now the next step is to bring it back to the body that is creating the movements that magnifies the energy that allows those types of thoughts in the first place. By addressing the quality of my movements, I am also addressing the quality of my thoughts.

Which then brings up the question, if we know or can learn that certain movements lead to certain outcomes and states of being, then how do we move with true quality?

Which movements increase our awareness and love and which movements lead to illness and disease?

What are the movements and behaviours that lead to anger, frustration, sadness, bliss, happiness, a sense of being right or wrong, fear, or any emotion or perception of life? How does a person who believes the world is an unsafe place move? How does a person who believes they have to work towards certain pictures and roles that life has presented to them move? And what effect long term do these movements have on our health?

For example: Let’s look at the end result of bloating from eating gluten.

We know the obvious movements are: buying the sandwich, opening the packet, putting the sandwich in our mouths, chewing and swallowing. This is not rocket science or anything earth shattering. We move to eat something; we get the result of having chosen to eat that particular food.

But before the buying there was the thought, led by a movement, led by an energy. What is the energy we are choosing that leads to the movements? This is the path that takes us back around to the quality of that initial choice, in the form of an end result (the bloating) which actually is just the start (the energy) presenting itself again in a much denser form.

So then what are our movements and patterns that lead to illness and disease? Could this lead us to a clearer picture as to how we end up in the states of health we find ourselves in?

Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move. We can’t heal the symptoms of gluten intolerance if our movements are to go for the cakes and sandwiches; likewise we can’t heal a harsh mind if we are moving in a harsh manner with our bodies, be that grabbing things tightly, stomping around, overburdening ourselves with all the shopping at once, going out in the cold unprepared, thus our bodies want to contract to stay warm etc.

Over the past 5 years, the more I have chosen to move in a loving way, the more the unloving movements and thoughts have just faded on their own, as they are no longer being kept in circulation.

The basis of the test of life is to stop and feel our quality, a quality we can choose by how we move in alignment with the energy that leads to one result or the other. If we do not like the end results we are getting in life, we can choose to move differently, to move with a quality that is gentle, tender and loving, and observe the changes this brings to the quality of our thoughts and our lives.


Read more:

  1. Going gluten-free does not require a gluten intolerance test 
  2. What is gluten sensitivity?
  3. Carbohydrate Kid – no more! No pain, no bloating, no digestive discomforts. 

1,039 thoughts on “The Test of Life

  1. We have so much wisdom inside our bodies. Often I know that a certain food is not good for my body and I don’t have to try it out to get this confirmed. Almost like the body signals in advance: no thank you, not supportive for me. And I have the choice to ‘try it’ (playing ignorant and overriding what I know) or putting it to the test and be willing to observe and experience the consequences.

    1. I’ve had this as well, my jaw will harden or my nervous system will start to fire off or I feel really heavy just looking at certain foods! There are other times where I don’t listen and those messages just get louder. But they start as a whisper if I am paying attention.

  2. There is an absolute honesty that resides in the body that frequently signals whether the substances (both physical and energetic) we ingest are harming or healing. If we ignore these signals, they often get louder and louder until a state of ill health prevails. However, there are also those times when we override the body’s innate wisdom such as in the example here given of ‘teaching’ our body to tolerate a substance it has already deemed harmful (in this example it is gluten). What follows is that our body begins to lose its level of honesty as the toxin takes over and so far from building up a tolerance, we have simply taught our physical instrument to turn down its astute capabilities of discerning what heals and what harms and from this point a cementing of the adopted ill way takes place that may or may not manifest into an obvious form of illness.

  3. “we can choose to move differently, to move with a quality that is gentle, tender and loving, and observe the changes this brings to the quality of our thoughts and our lives.” We are clearly responsible for the choices we make in every moment and movement of the day and night.

  4. These are great points and medicine is also quite aware – with perhaps some uncertainty – what people need to do. Where they may have difficulties is what needs doing for people actually to live in a healthy way.

  5. There are many instances where I have made a choice and felt the consequences afterwards, especially with food, even if I eat something my body knows it didn’t want and I overrode it, I get a mouth ulcer, which is always a reminder that I need to move in a way that allows me access to what my body is telling me.

    1. Yesterday I discovered that nuts give me sinus pain, there was a direct relationship from eating then seconds later intense pain (I repeated this experiment over the day) I love nuts, especially almond butter. But it gets to the point of asking what do I love more? Almond butter and intense face pain or no nuts and having a clear head? If my answer comes from a connection with my body then it’s not hard to give up certain foods. If I come from my head chances are I will go buy nuts again and have to learn – do I love connection or disconnection?

  6. What I feel being brought back to in reading this is deep self love, one that allows me to trust my feeling completely. That is where I see myself getting stuck at times – doubting myself, doubting my perception, as if the ultimate ‘right’ lies somewhere out there, with someone, and I was ‘wrong’ to be feeling what I feel.

  7. “Everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy” (Serge Benhayon). This is so true Leigh, to fully recognise this is crucial. Nothing is personal, it’s everyone choosing the energy they align to. I am remembering this more and more often, it allows us to make sense of the world, for without this understanding we are stuck in thinking the world is a crazy place, when it’s just beings choosing energy. Then it all makes perfect sense.

  8. This is a great distinction to make – the difference between change and managing what is not right for your body. And I have noticed how management of ill conditions is what we as a society do very well, with true and everlasting change being something of an enigma.

    1. I’ve noticed this too in myself and others as well as a want to manage rather than change. If there is a want to manage rather than change then complaining about a situation or condition is not asking for change but actually maintaining that lower quality of life. If something is truly disturbing and not perceived/believed to be of any benefit then there is less attachment and more change.

  9. I agree Leigh life always presents opportunities to learn from and the more we are willing to listen and be aware of what effects us whilst caring for and respecting our body we are then impulsed to change our choices to avoid reactions and side effects that harm us choosing instead those things that feel nurturing, nourishing and far more supportive for the body.

  10. I love this curious, open inquiry into what we are feeling and why.. it’s impossible for life to be boring when there’s always more to feel, more to observe and more to learn.

  11. It took a while for me to get the confidence up to do my own experiments on my own body. This was mainly due to the belief that I had to listen to everyone else before myself. For instance, reading something in a magazine and then trying that out without considering if it was something that my body would want or even if it was harmful or not. It makes more sense to listen to our bodies and what suits it, rather than forcing it to adhere to a diet or foods it cannot tolerate.

    1. In the care industry that I work in we are told to ask the person what they would like and rather than going by what we think they should have/wear etc. So then why not ask our own bodies the same?

      1. It would as it challenges the part of us that likes to calculate and mentally concoct the answer so that it can claim some sort of victory. Whereas the body just knows the answer instantly.

  12. Reading this today it seems it is all about how much we care for ourselves and in what energy, and thus the quality that we bring to everything.

  13. It’s great that you’re exploring the steps BEFORE we do something, such as running down to the supermarket, because it is these movements that manifest what plays out in our actions.

    1. Before, during and after. Reading at any point is always illuminating. But generally after the behaviour, for example eating something that doesn’t agree with me, it’s harder to read because the energy that fuelled the behaviour was intended to not allow for clear reading. It’s like wanting to hide, jumping into a well then wanting to look around at what caused the want to hide in the first place…but now you’re in the well and have to get out first.

  14. ‘Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move.’ The fact that changing the quality of our movements is so simple and so immediate shows us that it is our awareness and willingness that comes in to play for this to occur… and then the allowing and activation of Divine energy does the rest.

    1. It’s the willingness to be aware that can prove to be the difficult part as we deal with the part of us that has chosen to be ignorant, arrogant and wants to avoid wounding its pride.

  15. To question and ask ourselves how we are feeling whether it is to confirm or to ponder on how we came to feel in that way throughout the day is medicine. It is never to be undervalued or a waste of time to address where we are at or what is going on for us. We seem to place what needs to get done, money, people, situations etc above and before ourselves but what is truly missing is a loving relationship with our body first.

    1. It’s valuing the quality we do in rather than solely what we do. Connecting to ourselves at the start, during or at the end of the day can be like a quality GPS system within us. Telling us where we’ve gone and/or are going along the lines of what quality are we living in.

  16. When we are willing to be aware of the underlying cause and subsequent effect of the way we are living we realise our body has all the answers and we have a responsibility to listen to our own inner wisdom.

  17. This is brilliant, to bring up the conversation about having moments of stop and what they are really for. Recently I have been experimenting with this and learning how to ‘stop’ does not necessarily mean to ‘let go’ but rather to ‘check-in’ with oneself. It is actually an act of self-responsibility, and dictates what will come next.

    1. Aye, stopping doesn’t have to mean we physically stop doing everything and just stand still or lay on the floor – That’d look funny at work or the supermarket. But it’s stopping the mental focus and registering how the body feels which can be done by starting to feel my feet or how I touch/grab things with my hands – rough and harsh or gentle etc.

  18. It is key to clock our behaviours and then trace them back to a picture we are holding onto – often we will find that the belief we are holding onto comes from somebody else and we have just said yes and ran with it – usually without any true understanding of what we are saying yes to.

  19. “The more I have chosen to move in a loving way, the more the unloving movements and thoughts have just faded on their own” – so simple and makes absolute sense. Why don’t I do that more often?

    1. I could ask myself the same question and what I am realising is that the unloving behaviours and thoughts aren’t random or just fall on me. Under false beliefs of myself or wanting a perception of that that isn’t true to start with to be true and trying to force it onto myself or others the unloving behaviours are adopted as a means to an end. Like wanting a person to change and keep berating or ‘advising’ (read: judging) them. Whereas accepting myself doesn’t need the other to be a certain way nor need those behaviours to push.

    1. Definitely, any choice made from my mind doesn’t stick or quickly deteriorates. Example: 15 minutes of exercise every day, it’s too rigid whereas my body knows that how much it needs changes everyday and needs connecting to.

  20. ‘Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move.’ You have made it very clear Leigh with the examples given that when we follow our mind it never will bring us true change, only relief of having a solution for a while but no true answer that last because we have embodied the change.

    1. That relief doesn’t last very long, sure it breaks the tension or numbs me for a moment but it doesn’t take me to joy or feeling lovely on the inside like connecting to my body does.

  21. We are responsible for how our lives play out, and this can be terrifying concept or opportunity for empowerment because we can make choices – big and small – that support us and many other people.

  22. ‘Over the past 5 years, the more I have chosen to move in a loving way, the more the unloving movements and thoughts have just faded on their own, as they are no longer being kept in circulation.’ This is awesome and just goes to show how possible it is to change what we think is unchangeable. It may take a while but with consistency, like water wearing away rock, it happens.

    1. In the world today instant gratification and instant results are in high demand. But there is a lot to be said of the consistency of love and how steady it’s results are and lasting. 10 years ago I would feel miserable 24/7 and EVERYTHING would be terrible, but today when everything has gone pear shaped I can still find a beauty in life to reflect on.

  23. Our movements give it all away in terms of which energy we are aligned to in that moment. Harsh movements = harsh thoughts, gentle movements = gentle thoughts. It makes complete sense and is so simple that we could dismiss it for something that sounds more complicated !

  24. Its amazing what is revealed to us if we are prepared to reflect on how we feel after doing even the simplest of everyday things. Walking is such a great example of this as our body will show us exactly how we have been living when we walk.

    1. Without checking in to register how what we do makes us feel we can get swept up and away into a rhythm that’s not true for us to move to. For example I was watching TV yesterday at work and saw others get sucked into what was playing out on TV. I checked in with myself and felt buzzy and awful so I chose to not get engrossed in what was being shown.

  25. Life is a school, it’s just about whether we repeat the same semester/year over and over again or whether we actually initiate through.

  26. What is it that attracts us to the cookie jar? is it a memory of sweetness? of doing something off limits? of reward? of comfort? 0f a pavlovian nature? Whatever it is, it is our movements that take us to that jar so focussing on our movements and allowing them to be of the highest quality we know, also allows us to become aware of the honour we can bestow upon our body by staying in that quality.

  27. Understanding that the way we move changes our thoughts is almost unheard of yet I know for myself it works. There is always a choice and there are times when I over ride this, but it is much less these days because I understand how much my thoughts if allowed to run free can take me off in the totally wrong direction.

  28. You have just made me realise how important stop moments are no matter how short they are, I find it far too easy to be in the motion of what is next particularly when working although these days my body is very quick to let me know if I am working in a way that is not honouring.

    1. Even just closing my eyes in the bathroom and focusing on my breath can be a stop, or making an effort to focus on how gently I wash my hands. Or stopping mid walk (hopefully without someone behind me) and stepping off again differently helps change the energy I am in.

  29. We are scientists 24/7. We may like to repeat our experiments every day or not. We can experiment making it worse for us, or making it better. Our choice. We are equally endowed to go one way or the other one.

  30. I agree Leigh, the quality of our movements is important and the quality of the energy we choose to align to is what allows our movements to be loving and harmonious or not.

  31. ‘So then what are our movements and patterns that lead to illness and disease?’ Great question! Clocking our movements is a big one; the capacity to discover and deal with the patterns behind our movements is bigger still, and takes a willingness, grace and dedication to be with whatever emerges.

    1. Imagine a medical book with all the diseases listed and as well as the pathogenic causes it lists our movements that lead to illness. That’s what I find in Universal Medicine’s presentations – it’s about our movements.

  32. We can get so lost in our patterns and behaviours that it can be very hard to see where we are going wrong, even though on some level we know that something is not right. Cutting out certain foods from our diet is a great place to start, as it gives us an opportunity to feel how our bodies respond differently to what we put in them, and gradually we get to feel how it’s not just foods that affect us, but it can be any number of things that we do.

    1. And for other behaviours such as getting angry at a certain person every time we see them, sharing how we feel with another who doesn’t pander or try to fix the situation, someone offering an open space for us to express. I find this helps curtail the behaviours that lead to the repeating end result as well.

  33. This blog is exactly what I needed to read at the moment as it’s wisdom has given me the most beautiful insight. Thank-you Leigh.

  34. “By taking regular moments to stop we can find patterns and if there is a pattern of end results, then there is a pattern of steps leading to that end result.” So true Leigh – looking at our behaviours before the ‘end result’ can show us so much – if we choose to stop and feel.

    1. Unfortunately it takes the end result in some cases for us to stop and feel our behaviours. But what if a cold was no different stop sign to cancer? What if we took these ‘smaller’ messages as seriously as the bigger ones. I often think of Japanese Knotweed – the seeds are small but it grows and in time becomes the greater problem that then we are forced to deal with. Why not address things ‘while they are young’ so to speak.

  35. Our patterns and behaviours definitely dictate how our life is, yet how often do we actually take responsibility for our choices, that lead to those behaviours or patterns, we all have a choice to make different more loving choices which are able to change how we feel about ourselves and how the rest of the world inter-reacts with us too.

  36. Understanding that we have the ability to choose how we feel and what state of health our bodies can be in simply by how we move and the quality that we move in, is a hugely empowering moment, and when you’re within that choice, you feel the responsibility of you doing that as part of your service which takes it away from the self and back to the whole.

  37. I love what you shared about movements producing the quality of our thoughts… this is profound. So many are plagued with thoughts that are unpleasant or unloving so to know that we have the power to change their quality through altering the quality of our movements is extraordinary and ultimately life changing.

  38. “Clocking the thoughts has been the first step and I feel now the next step is to bring it back to the body that is creating the movements that magnifies the energy that allows those types of thoughts in the first place. By addressing the quality of my movements, I am also addressing the quality of my thoughts.”

    I love what you share here as it feels quite ground-breaking. We often try to control the mind with the mind but here you are offering us that movement can be much more power-full.

    1. The mind likes to make everything really complicated. Yet my friend encouraging me to make funny silly moves in the the middle of the living room as I was feeling grumpy proves – movement really is powerful. After that I wasn’t in a grump but had a lovely conversation with her.

  39. Realising the importance of movement and learning what that actually means and feels in my body has been life changing and very eye opening for me. It becomes not about a physical movement but an inner energetic movement that aligns one back to their essence.

    1. I agree Kim, many a time I have changed how I walk to change how I feel but it’s not the mechanics that I focus on but the intention and the quality of the movement. And that intention is already a movement.

  40. Movement is the key – so simple and yet we avoid it, looking for a key that is more complex, that the mind can claim as being its creation, more intricate but the truth is that our movements dictate our thoughts and if we move in a way that is loving, there is no room for anything but that love.

    1. Aye, often the complex solution may have surface results but the issue comes back or is still hanging around in a different form. I am learning that all of life’s answers are incredibly simple.

  41. Great clarity here Leigh explaining that we are all where we are at, because of the patterns we repeat. This all comes from the body, how we move and what we think. So it is our responsibility to change this when we can, our own test, only we can do for ourselves, no-one else.

    1. Unfortunately the repetitive moving feeds the repetitive thoughts that act together in a feedback loop. Illness, disease and ‘accidents’ actually helps break these cycles as we cannot live how we used to. So really they are a blessing as they support us to get out of our ruts.

      1. Equally we can be inspired to change when another lives responsibly, taking care of themselves deeply can pull us to do likewise, bringing awareness to the lack of success the repetitive life brings.

  42. Great blog pulling together several things that we perhaps don’t always realise are connected such as our thoughts and our movements and how we develop and can get stuck in certain patterns of behaviour.

  43. ‘By addressing the quality of my movements, I am also addressing the quality of my thoughts.’ The detail you expand on is so supportive and I feel inspired to explore this in more depth because it is so true that it all comes back to the way I move and for so long that has been in disregard of my body which then reinforces the quality or lack of it in my thoughts.

  44. It’s so important to ask ourselves questions as to why things are happening, to go deeper, this supports our evolution rather than staying comfortable in what is usually not so comfortable.

    1. I totally agree with you Ruth. Being open to questioning why life is occurring and my choices and responsibilities for it occuring makes life much more joyful. Uncomfortable for exposing unloving choices and my irresponsibility but ultimately joy is left when everything else is cleared away.

      1. Beautifully expressed Leigh, if we don’t want to look at our stuff and start to deal with it, there is no joy to be had only an oppressive comfort that eventually suffocates us.

      2. And the moment in time it takes to feel what ever is there, like a deep hurt or lack of self worth, is only momentary, but the Joy that there after it has been let go is innately us and there to be lived everyday.

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