The Test of Life

by Leigh Matson, London, UK 

In life, we are always presented with opportunities to test ourselves and to learn from the results of these experiments. The quality of the experiments will vary, depending on how willing we are to be aware of what we are feeling.

For example, finding out if we have a food intolerance can be quite simple.

If we eat a certain food – we may get a reaction.

If we don’t eat that certain food – there is no reaction.

It simply requires us to stop for a moment to clock our body’s communication in response or reaction to this food.

If we were to eliminate the foods we react to for a period of time, we could then see and feel the results by feeling the effects in our bodies.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are taught to override and ignore these reactions, or messages from our bodies. So even though we may have a bodily reaction, we have been taught how to override these messages, so we can eat ‘normally’ and appear to be normal.

When I was young I could not eat gluten, because it caused various reactions such as a reddening of my face and a number of mood and behavioral disorders and 20 years ago gluten free food was not as readily available as it is now. So over time I learnt how to override and ‘grow out of’ being gluten intolerant. But what if we don’t ‘grow out of’ being intolerant, we just get better at masking the reaction?

Since I have eliminated gluten (and also dairy and sugar) from my diet, I have found that my energy levels, general health and wellbeing have increased.

So then what if we could apply this method of experimenting with ourselves to other areas of life?

I have been applying and practising this for some time now and my understanding continues to deepen. And the very basics of it were presented to me via the teachings and presentations of Universal Medicine, in that “Everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy” (Serge Benhayon). Thus we are energy and can read the energetic quality in anything. So if we get bloated after eating gluten, we can say that we are experiencing the end result of a choice of the energy we chose to use as our fuel for our movements. It can work both ways. We can choose the food, and our movements will have a certain quality thereafter (like going to sleep!). And we can choose the energy, after which our movements take on their flow and way of moving. This then opens up further questions such as – Why did I choose to experience that situation? What do I avoid feeling by choosing to do this instead?

So in the everyday situations it can look like this: taking stops and pauses during or after situations to feel the reactions or responses in the body.

  • How do I feel after having that thought?
  • Why do I feel so agitated right now? What energy is allowing me to feel this way? What occurred, what did I do, what was I doing before I noticed this agitation?
  • After a long day my feet sometimes hurt more than normal – so how was I walking today?
  • After that conversation I feel a sense of emptiness, need for more, or stimulated – why is that?

By taking regular moments to stop we can find patterns and if there is a pattern of end results, then there is a pattern of steps leading to that end result. A simple example at work is that having certain thoughts in my head leads to greater tension in the body, but this actually stems from how I move. I have found that harsh movements lead to harsh thoughts. The quality of my movements is important. Clocking the thoughts has been the first step and I feel now the next step is to bring it back to the body that is creating the movements that magnifies the energy that allows those types of thoughts in the first place. By addressing the quality of my movements, I am also addressing the quality of my thoughts.

Which then brings up the question, if we know or can learn that certain movements lead to certain outcomes and states of being, then how do we move with true quality?

Which movements increase our awareness and love and which movements lead to illness and disease?

What are the movements and behaviours that lead to anger, frustration, sadness, bliss, happiness, a sense of being right or wrong, fear, or any emotion or perception of life? How does a person who believes the world is an unsafe place move? How does a person who believes they have to work towards certain pictures and roles that life has presented to them move? And what effect long term do these movements have on our health?

For example: Let’s look at the end result of bloating from eating gluten.

We know the obvious movements are: buying the sandwich, opening the packet, putting the sandwich in our mouths, chewing and swallowing. This is not rocket science or anything earth shattering. We move to eat something; we get the result of having chosen to eat that particular food.

But before the buying there was the thought, led by a movement, led by an energy. What is the energy we are choosing that leads to the movements? This is the path that takes us back around to the quality of that initial choice, in the form of an end result (the bloating) which actually is just the start (the energy) presenting itself again in a much denser form.

So then what are our movements and patterns that lead to illness and disease? Could this lead us to a clearer picture as to how we end up in the states of health we find ourselves in?

Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move. We can’t heal the symptoms of gluten intolerance if our movements are to go for the cakes and sandwiches; likewise we can’t heal a harsh mind if we are moving in a harsh manner with our bodies, be that grabbing things tightly, stomping around, overburdening ourselves with all the shopping at once, going out in the cold unprepared, thus our bodies want to contract to stay warm etc.

Over the past 5 years, the more I have chosen to move in a loving way, the more the unloving movements and thoughts have just faded on their own, as they are no longer being kept in circulation.

The basis of the test of life is to stop and feel our quality, a quality we can choose by how we move in alignment with the energy that leads to one result or the other. If we do not like the end results we are getting in life, we can choose to move differently, to move with a quality that is gentle, tender and loving, and observe the changes this brings to the quality of our thoughts and our lives.


Read more:

  1. Going gluten-free does not require a gluten intolerance test 
  2. What is gluten sensitivity?
  3. Carbohydrate Kid – no more! No pain, no bloating, no digestive discomforts. 

938 thoughts on “The Test of Life

  1. “If we do not like the end results we are getting in life, we can choose to move differently, to move with a quality that is gentle, tender and loving, and observe the changes this brings to the quality of our thoughts and our lives.” This is definitely worth doing. We are not victims of life but its author and we can change the script whenever we want to.

    1. And once we experience that we can have two scripts to choose from in life that is super empowering rather than believing we have one script and we have to follow that for the rest of our days. Each time I rewrite a script in my life the other remains available for me but if I allow myself to feel the quality of the outcome it allows me to come out of the more unloving ways. Like pushing myself to complete a task VS saying no, pausing and then doing as much as I can in that moment and not pushing to complete the task right now.

  2. “In life, we are always presented with opportunities to test ourselves and to learn from the results of these experiments. The quality of the experiments will vary, depending on how willing we are to be aware of what we are feeling.” These opportunities to test ourselves, set ourselves targets are opportunities to grow and build, but when we are living in function, disconnected from our bodies, our will is disengaged and there is not the appreciation to spring from.

  3. Leigh, I love this blog, you really help me to appreciate the listening that has taken place where I have openly said yes to change, and also to where there still needs more listening to happen. You bring life back to its basic principle, that we are all on a path of learning and each stage of that learning is valid, no matter where on that path you may be,

  4. “Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move.” At a time of year when everyone is having “new year’s resolutions” the key missing part is what you’ve shared here, that in order for these resolutions to stick they have to be whole body movements and a building on a quality in the way we live. Before Serge Benhayon I’d not even considered that movement impacted how I felt and what I choose to turn to.

    1. Good point MA, how many new year’s resolutions come from a picture in our mind? and how realistically achievable is such a picture? Considering how so many drop their resolutions hints at the fact that our pictures of life often don’t match our movements. Or as I’ve experienced them they match them perfectly in that we hold onto pictures in order for them to fail! because then we can continue to hold onto other pictures of not being good enough.

  5. This is just what I need to read today, thank you. “If we do not like the end results we are getting in life, we can choose to move differently, to move with a quality that is gentle, tender and loving, and observe the changes this brings to the quality of our thoughts and our lives.”

  6. I love what you are saying here Leigh, it is so simple and so fundamental: “harsh movements lead to harsh thoughts” these harsh thoughts of course mean we will have harsh actions towards ourselves and others. This feedback loop of movement-embodiment-thought-action-movement is a great example of how energy works and is magnified in our bodies through motion. The great thing is we can choose whatever energy we want at any time. If we want to feel calm and alert, if we move with that energy it gets magnified in our bodies. Pretty cool huh.

  7. We are our own science project and at any time we can test what does and does not work for us. Our body is very specific and loud and clear if we just stop and listen.

  8. It feels really simple. By stopping and taking note of how our body feels after doing anything, eating, having a conversation, or whatever else it may be, we get to feel if we have reacted and if so, what to. It is a constant study of ourselves, not in a critical or judgemental way, but in a way that constantly observes how our body feels.

  9. “Stopping our unloving behaviours cannot happen from thought-power alone, it has to come from the body and how we move.” This is really bucking the trend of what has generally been accepted as a way of changing our lives, simply by changing how we think about things. But what you are saying here is that our movements include even our thoughts and how we sleep, as every single thing that our body does is a movement. If we stop and really consider this, there are endless possibilities as to what we could change about our lives, simply by the detail of our day to day choices.

  10. Given that we know everything is interconnected, it makes sense that our movements affect our quality of thoughts and vice-versa, but then it’s a choice – to stay in our minds, running through the to-do list of the day, or what happened at work, or what we’re going to have for dinner, or to bring our focus to the present moment, our movements and the quality of our thoughts. Choosing to pay more attention to what’s going on in my body and how it feels at any given moment has been a huge support in starting to let go of some old patterns – including not wanting to be aware of everything that I can feel around me. But with awareness comes empowerment and a choice to stay steady, with practice.

  11. How often do we feel something within our bodies and dismiss it as if it is insignificant and we carry on – numerous times, in fact too many to even clock. Then because we ignore it and ignore it, something serious presents itself and we have to listen, but do we really listen to the messages of the body or do we rush to get well so that we can continue along in the same vein. It seems that by giving the body a louder voice it has much to teach us, and responds magnificently when we pay attention.

    1. What you are sharing here Julie is really important to understand, that when we allow our body to speak to us and we take the time and the care to actually listen to it, it really will respond in ways that we could not imagine possible. Even a tiny movement that comes from the truth of feeling what is being asked for has the potential to change so much about how we feel about ourselves and a consistent choice to move in this way can consequently lead to magical things happening in our lives.

  12. Coming back to this blog has got me curious. It’s not normal to listen to your body, the world we live in is geared to be in one’s head. So do we live in our minds, thoughts and pictures in order to appear ‘normal’? I feel for myself this has been true, as there have been thoughts of being alone or separate from everyone else if I were to fully live from my body and not my mind.

  13. Are we not the only creature on this planet that lives everywhere! We have adapted fully to survive anywhere! Do we start off, living as you have said, to attempt to fit in? Do we at some point just accept this as the way it has always been done and forget who we are?

  14. “By addressing the quality of my movements, I am also addressing the quality of my thoughts.” This is so true Leigh. When I choose to move in true connection to who I am it is my body that speaks louder than my mind.

  15. “What if we don’t ‘grow out of’ being intolerant, we just get better at masking the reaction?” Great question Leigh, we need to empower ourselves by take responsibility and looking far more deeply at our patterns of behaviour that influence our lifestyle choices that have such an impact on our body and our awareness instead of waiting until we become ill to accept and change what we know does not truly support us.

  16. I love how you have simplified everything. Just becoming aware of our movements lets us know how we are really doing, and we can change this at any time. Likewise the tone of our voice is a great give away as to how we are really feeling. Being aware of ourselves in this way we can bring ourselves back from reactions and begin to truly respond from a centred more loving place. Looking at why our movements or voice became less harmonious can also support us in discovering the hurt that is lying underneath and by allowing ourselves to feel this rather than ignore it we can unravel the energy that has been holding us back, understanding ourselves and appreciating ourselves too.

  17. This is gold Leigh. A while ago I noticed that the way I move when I am walking to the shop to buy food my body reacts to is harsh and fast. People often turn to glare at me as they can feel the imposition in my footsteps. On the same note people are lovely and open with me when I am purchasing food that nourishes my body. At these times my movements are fluid and graceful and there is no trying or defence.

  18. ‘The quality of the experiments will vary, depending on how willing we are to be aware of what we are feeling.’ I feel this also depends on how honest we are willing to be!

  19. Having moved to London about three years ago, one thing that really stands out is the rush hour on the London underground and there seems to be an energy everyone locks into which feels like anxiousness, and at times aggressive. It does feel very strong and you have to make a conscious choice not to go there, and to walk at your own pace which does get easier with practice.
    I mention this in reference to this blog because it makes me wonder what the quality of energy we arrive home in after a full day’s work, and how will we be with our family, as in would we want to engage with them or switch off, and is the energy within the underground a collective result of how we have moved during the day magnified?

  20. Leigh, this article totally rocks. You’ve spelled out something that seems obvious but that I hadn’t previously considered – I’d never connected the dots. It can always be brought back to energy, but to consider the movement is awesome.

  21. Recently I had the experience that made all of this make a lot more sense. Sitting on the floor cleaning the oven I sat in a funny way that made my leg slightly uncomfortable, and the longer I ignored the uncomfortable position my mind got wilder and more distracted. Addressing my seating position my mind snapped back into line with enjoying my task. Any time, no matter how ‘small’ we assume a discomfort to be and no matter how insignificant we’ve painted our feelings to be – when we ignore them that is the opening for the mind to wander and become abusive.

    1. A great example Leigh of how we allow our minds to fight our bodies and the patient messages that it sends us. So much more enjoyable to honour the message than to put up with the discomfort, which if ignored often enough will lead to disease in the body.

  22. Giving ourselves space is definitely the key as I am learning. In the sense of say you have a thought to eat a food that you know makes you feel rubbish – dulls you down – makes you feel heavy – then taking the time to give yourself space to ask why? What is it I don’t want feel? What’s happening? What am I feeling more of? What can I do instead of eat this food? It may be have a drink of water or go for a walk. What’s going to help me create more space in my body and around me. I observed a child do this at school recently, something had happened to their work, and they were offered a choice, so they asked for time ( space) to think about it instead of reacting to what had happened and rushing. They took till the end of the day to feel into what they wanted to do and the true decision for them. Very cool and a great learning for me.

  23. I understand that end results do not just happen, yet I can often fixate on those end results and want to solution or fix them, but of course that never works, it’s always about tracking that back to a movement, to a decision to align to a particular energy or way and then the movement ensue. And it’s not about being rigid or fixed about this, but observing where our movements lead us and understanding that a harsh mind comes hand in hand with a harsh body. To introduce gentleness to that body is like opening a window or a space to allow gentleness in everywhere, this is how we change, we move differently, we look at the quality of how we move and everything changes.

    1. I had last week some very ugly days, with complete ‘don’t care bear’ movements – as in I was eating terribly and allowing the negative thoughts to dominate and couldn’t care to stop them. So I sat on the bus going home, completely defeated in my efforts to hold back and avoid my feelings from the week before, and asked myself ‘Whats the one loving thing I can do right now?’ and without thinking started to gently stroke the back of my hand. After this choice I felt the space for more loving choices, opening up to express what I had been feeling for two weeks and all that negative pressure released. While I focused on the behaviours I avoided the root of avoiding my feelings. Gentleness I find helps me get closer to opening up and feeling that which I have avoided.

      1. Such a simple example of how we can give ourselves the care and love that we need to bring us back to ourselves with ordinary gestures wherever we are – in a sense parenting ourselves. So cool to ask that question of ourselves when we feel out of sorts ‘ What’s the one loving thing I can do right now?’

  24. Putting the wrong fuel into our bodies is the norm and it even goes without question and as you say we ignore every message our body gently or not sends us, thus guaranteeing ourselves a lesser quality of life than could be ours.

  25. i love how you have shared that you didnt really ‘grow out’ of gluten intolerance, your body just got used to masking it. I love how now such things are not ignored, not feared, but taken seriously as our body communicates with us readily about how we are handling food/life/choices and what works or doesn’t is made abundantly clear.

  26. Leigh I love your experiences and what you have learnt and shared, we can all take the time to experiment with ourselves, and the more we become aware of how our body feels after certain foods or the way we move, we have the opportunity to change what we eat and the way we move in order to feel better.

    1. Yep, these experiments don’t just work with food. What I found this morning was I felt how sending a text message left a bad ‘taste’ in my body. I found that if I speak in a certain way, tailor my words to avoid something that I think will happen according to the narrative in my head (which it didn’t in the end) that this leaves me feeling yuk. Whereas just coming out and texting what I felt brought afterwards a feeling of lightness.

  27. I am beginning to feel the quality is everything, for the moment we choose the quality we know ourselves to be from deep within, it reflects to us that our posture needs to be adjusted, how we respond and be with people changes, how we move changes. But nothing happens without first choosing this inner quality. Accepting that I have lived most of, if not all of my life with out making this choice means there are many old patterns of movement that I slowly but diligently will feel and from once felt begin the process of acceptance of the movement that is inspired from within, to live the quality.

  28. Listening to our body is so important. Then comes the next part, acknowledging and appreciating its messages. Then making new and different choices…. this is a forever ongoing and deepening process.

  29. You have given me something to really consider here. I want to copy bits and stick them on my wall so I have little reminders! I wonder if, when there are patterns of behaviour we don’t seem to be able to move on from, an example might be eating something that makes us bloat but equally it might be smoking, then we clearly have to step back into our movements to understand what has lead to the point of wanting the food or the cigarette to understand why the coping mechanism is there. What are we feeling that we are reacting to. Being bold enough to stop in the moment might well be the key to breaking lifelong habits.

  30. It takes a great commitment to truth and thus to transparency to even want to peer beneath the curtain we have erected to hide the error of our ways. Yet as you show us Leigh, it is so simple to make adjustments to the way we are living if the way we are living is not leading us to greater settlement in the body but in fact in the opposite direction, if our current rates of disease and illness are anything to go by. Thus it can be said that if we truly want the world to change then we have to be willing to change our movements within it. And if not then we keep going as we are going, stumbling blind in an abyss of irresponsibility that will take its toll on the human form by way of greater illness, disease, misery and loneliness.

  31. Amazing that we live in a world where we are taught to override the truth – a world that we have created to harm and hold ourselves back. It is worth pondering why we have set up and continue to support such a situation.

    1. As is so clearly presented in this blog Nicola, it is all about our movements and because we live in a society these movement will affect it, which in turn make that same society to reflect that same movement back to us and in that is making healthy or unhealthy movements perpetual.

  32. It is interesting to consider that everything is a movement. Different from how I perceived a thought to be you say that we can consider it as a movement in not such a dense form, but still a movement that is affecting how we actually make movements with the body. You can say that it amplifies through the body through entertaining thoughts in our mind. As it feels as a simple truth to me, how important it is to study this and make it available to all people to help them to get an understanding that we all have a responsibility in maintaining a healthy body and mind and that it already can start with being aware of the thoughts we entertain in our mind that could be the cause of the ailments we experience in our bodies on a daily basis.

  33. This is an interesting approach to life. You are showing a curiosity Leigh that always has you asking why. I like it, because too often we accept that this is just the way things are, or we say ‘it just happened,’ but there is always a reason and it’s worth getting to the bottom of why we make the choice we do.

    1. It certainly makes life less dull the more I open up to the fact that there’s always something underneath waiting to be understood, or something within me waiting to come out and show how much I already know of life. As we do know everything but we have to make the choice to be aware of what we do know.

  34. Noticing how we feel after certain thoughts, noticing when we’re making something more complicated than it needs to be, noticing what we’re delaying and not doing, and why.. every behaviour we do because we get something out of it. Once we identify that we’re persistently doing something, and why – what we’re getting out of it, we then are faced with the choice: keep doing it, no matter how much we know it harms us and others, because it’s comfortable and familiar, or take the risk to drop it – and deal with what we haven’t been wanting to feel.

  35. An old pattern of anxiety recently re-surfaced after starting a new job, and what I discovered was that I was choosing the anxiety, believing that it was more powerful than me choosing to focus on my feet, hands or say my breath, but what has come about is that it is very easy to feel the start of an anxious moment and then choose to breathe gently – instead of going full blown into the anxiousness and then feeling rough for days afterwards.

  36. I can learn much about another observing their movements yet I have had a tendency to listen to that which was coming out of their mouth. Movement cannot lie but what is spoken can certainly be untrue. Some great questions Leigh to ponder on. Thank you for sharing.

    1. This is where I found a presentation from Serge Benhayon on watching videos on mute to be fascinating. We can read so much with movement and watching muted videos is a great way to start, as life doesn’t come with a volume button!

  37. Playing with our movements changes how we feel about/in life I am finding. Walking up stairs with an open chest vs shoulders rolled in and leaning forward results in two very different people at the top of the stairs. As adults we tend to get stuck in our ways, where I’ve been finding having a wiggle or moving slightly differently, starts to shift things.

  38. What a great reminder, this blog has just made me sit up and go to a deeper level of listening to my body. I have just been having reactions to foods that I used to be able to eat, but overriding those feelings because of convenience and not really going to the fact that it is incredibly self honouring and loving to let go of those foods, instead of clinging to them like i am going to miss out. So thank you, very timely reading this indeed.

  39. Great explanation Leigh of how one thing leads to another. Always it comes down to the quality of our movements and choices.

  40. The other thing I felt about this blog today is that it encourages us to be our own scientists. We have at our disposal plenty of material in the form of our bodies, our movements and our choices – and our reactions or responses – to be able to conduct all the experiments we like. Life is our laboratory and we are our own test subjects, compiling beautiful evidence to support us to build the truest foundation for living possible.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s