Healing my Separation to Humanity through Illness

By Susan Evans, Student, Mullumbimby NSW

A year ago I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Initially I was very shocked, as over the last 5 years I have made many lifestyle changes and have been living in a much more healthy way and was beginning to nurture and care for myself on a much deeper level.

Over time, I came to a deep acceptance and understanding that this was a culmination of the poor choices I had made, as a result of holding on to and not dealing with my hurts for the past 54 years of my life. It was not easy at first to let go of the habits and choices I had become accustomed to, but little by little, my connection to my body deepened and I began making more loving choices. I realised that this diagnosis was going to be an opportunity for me to clear all that was no longer a part of me.

The prognosis was positive as the cancer was caught early, but I was advised it would involve major surgery to remove one third of my lung.

When I first arrived at hospital, the outpouring of love and support from family and friends at first was so overwhelming it felt like a dam had burst and I was being assailed from all quarters. I had this intense feeling of being buoyed up, of being held. My body felt alive, making me realise how much love there truly is in the world and how I am a part of that and it felt so beautiful.

I came to see that I had been living in judgement of people because of the choices they were making so I had shut down to others, separated myself and in that arrogance had deprived myself of the love on offer from them. In turn, I had deprived people of the love that I am.

Why did I separate myself from others?

Fear of being hurt, feeling not worthy, not good enough, comparing myself to others, looking for perfection in myself and in those around me, and the fear of being disappointed in this, were some of the reasons. In the days leading up to surgery I had time to reflect on these revelations and what became glaringly obvious was that I had shut God out and had given up! I had only been seeing and feeling all that was not love. In those first couple of days I started to feel all that was love and how I was an integral part of humanity. As this occurred, I could feel my connection to God deepen.

After surgery, I chose to truly honour myself and graciously accept all that was on offer for me to deeply heal. This was something I had never done before, as I had always been strongly independent and had always struggled to accept help. I made a conscious choice that whatever I needed to support my body through this time – be it food, pain relief or help to move – I would ask for it and I did not hold back. The nursing staff, medical professionals, orderlies, kitchen staff and cleaners were all so beautifully loving, attentive, gentle and caring. It showed me that when I truly reflect and honour the beautiful, loving and amazing beings that we are, that is what comes back to me.

What was really beautiful was the connection I made with everyone that came to my room. It was like there was space for each of them to express what was going on in their lives and so they talked about their families, issues and problems and what made them happy. I experienced a feeling of interconnectedness with everyone that made me feel truly joyful.

Having the cancer removed felt like a plug had been pulled out and I could really feel the beauty in humanity, this strong feeling of brotherhood, and an equalness with all in our divine connection to God.

This experience has changed me. I had much time during my recovery to reflect on, face, and clear so many of my hurts. I still have many to deal with, but what is most important to me is that neither I, nor we, are alone in this journey.

I have a deeper acceptance and love for myself and for those around me, and am now clearly seeing how we are all a part of God’s Divine Plan.

All of this would not have been possible without the love and support of Serge Benhayon and the dedicated practitioners and medical professionals who practise the teachings of Universal Medicine. I am in deep appreciation of them all.

Read more:

  1. Your body and disease – what does it all mean?
  2. I have a disease – can I feel well?  
  3. A deeper look at asthma – why is it that we can’t breathe? 

739 thoughts on “Healing my Separation to Humanity through Illness

  1. “This experience has changed me.” Sometimes a serious threat to life offers the opportunity to reflect on what is really important to us and it is usually people and not things.

  2. Loving how you totally embraced the support, love and connection with others in this opportunity. Illness is an opportunity to let go of everything – ill energy – that didn’t belong in your body and feel and live more of what is true for you.

  3. Letting go of our hurts is definitely a choice and as we let go of them we realise we have allowed them to have a huge hold over us, and it is through holding onto them that we have made them feel bigger than they actually are.

  4. What really strikes me in your sharing is how our choice to separate from others is not even a personal one, it affects everyone and it’s something that is registered as ‘ill’ in the whole scheme of Universe, it really does matter, we matter – hence the physical manifestation as an illness/disease.

  5. I love how you opened up to everyone and immediately the love was there in return. When we close ourselves down and shut ourselves off from others we do not seem to appreciate that this then causes them to do the same back. So effectively we shoot ourselves in the foot and deny ourselves that which we most want.

  6. It is very deeply inspiring to feel through what you have shared how our connection to love with ourselves and shared with others is everything that truly fulfils and enrichens our lives regardless of where our bodies are at, in our healing process or otherwise. When this quality of connection is felt, the vibration of love, we realise that this is what represents all that we are and is what transcends all, guiding us to deepen our knowing of the purpose of why we are all here, to be the love and reflect the love we are which is possible for us to do at any and every stage of our lives. As this is, as you have said, our divine part in God’s plan.

  7. “Having the cancer removed felt like a plug had been pulled out and I could really feel the beauty in humanity, this strong feeling of brotherhood, and an equalness with all in our divine connection to God.” This to me is true healing and what medicine is about. We have made medicine about getting fixed so that we can return to what made us ill in the first place. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have been able to see how much I had shut down to humanity and in so doing, I had shut down to God. Recognising this is when true healing begins.

  8. Very cool to read how your experience of illness transformed your relationship with yourself and with the world. We have a choice when any situation presents itself: to surrender and learn from every aspect of what is being shown to us, or to fight and resist it, and make the healing harder for ourselves, or to give up and withdraw. When we accept situations as they are, in that acceptance we also find that we have the knowing of how to handle them and what to do.

  9. Susan it was lovely to read how honest you were with yourself as to why your body gave you an amazing opportunity and healing, through cancer, the more honest we are with ourselves the more we learn about out choices and which one supports us best, and how much of a loving foundation we can build ourselves purely through changing our choices.

  10. Cancer rates have been rising for years now and when I look around me I see fundraising that advertises to fight cancer or people who develop cancer then go on to champion it or go back to their lives as they used to live more or less.The difference in those who share on this blog is different however and when approaching any illness with the understandings that Serge Benhayon presents, there’s more acceptance and joy for the illness occurring. This needs to be studied.

  11. “It showed me that when I truly reflect and honour the beautiful, loving and amazing beings that we are, that is what comes back to me.” Illness offers us the opportunity to heal so much more than the physical problem.

  12. Making a conscious choice to accept help rather than struggling on pushing ourselves allows us the opportunity to surrender more deeply within our body and align to our own natural rhythm and flow, which in turn means we are able to connect with others in a truer way.

  13. ” I have a deeper acceptance and love for myself and for those around me, and am now clearly seeing how we are all a part of God’s Divine Plan. ”
    This is lovely and all after a case of lung cancer what a healing for all of us, thank you.

  14. And how wonderful it will be when we are connected with ourselves so deeply that we will not need such intense clearings, but we will align with the divine from such an early age that humanity’s experience of life will be very very different to what is happening now.

  15. Beautiful to read how you honoured yourself and your body while recovering, it makes perfect sense to support our body through the healing process, and make more loving choices which further support us as a whole.

  16. Wow. If this is the realization and healing we can get to through experiencing cancer or any other serious illness and disease, what a blessing that is.

  17. ” I came to see that I had been living in judgement of people because of the choices they were making so I had shut down to others, ”
    This is such a revelation , the silliness of our methods to make life miserable.

  18. Susan, this is such a powerful and beautiful reflection for everyone, to open up and see your illness as an opportunity to truly heal, to deeply surrender to the body and the healing process rather than see it as an inconvenience or to fight and resist what this experience was truly offering you.

  19. This is a great blog for me to read as I feel I have been focusing on the negatives I see in daily life and am not letting the magic of God lead the way even though I see it everywhere also.

  20. When embarking on a path of true healing, energetically, taking responsibility for the choices that have been made there is great joy as the healing commences as the reconnection can be clearly felt, as you have shared Susan.

  21. I would not have seen illness and disease as a message from my soul to return to myself and to humanity but this has been my experience and I appreciate what was offered to me to work on and reconnect back into life.

  22. We can get caught in the mentality and think that illness and disease is just an inconvenience. Or, we can embrace the fact that it is an opportunity to reflect on how we have been living, and make adjustments accordingly, so we can learn heal and grow from the experience.

  23. “Having the cancer removed felt like a plug had been pulled out and I could really feel the beauty in humanity, this strong feeling of brotherhood, and an equalness with all in our divine connection to God.” I too experienced this after surgery for cancer – and a feeling of exquisite tenderness and openness for everyone. This was a new marker for me. An inspiring sharing, thankyou Susan.

  24. ‘I came to see that I had been living in judgement of people because of the choices they were making so I had shut down to others, separated myself and in that arrogance had deprived myself of the love on offer from them. In turn, I had deprived people of the love that I am.’ I have come to realise that holding judgement over another means I am not choosing to have understanding of others, I do not seek a true connection or relationship with them so therefore keep them and inevitably myself at arms length. It feels like an arrogant excuse to not let the real me be seen.

  25. An inspiring account of how by deepening your connection with yourself and opening up to a greater understanding of your illness you took the opportunity to clear and discard from your body all that did not belong or truly support you and allow yourself to go to a deeper level of healing.

  26. ‘I realised that this diagnosis was going to be an opportunity for me to clear all that was no longer a part of me.’ Illness is often an opportunity to reflect on our past choices and to feel how some of our choices have not been supportive of ourselves or others, and everyday is a great opportunity to reimprint our lives in a far more loving way.

  27. It makes sense that when we give up on life and people, that we tend to focus on everything that supports that choice, and in those moments be inundated with seeing and feeling all the seeming evidence of what is not love in the world. I love however that your illness offered you the blessing of showering you with love so that you could reflect on the truth you had been ignoring and begin to see and feel the love and connection you were denying.

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