By Steve Matson, UK
My family’s choices and my choices – what a difference they make!
Both my parents are now gone, but they proved that, like Mr Burns always says in the parody that is not too far from the truth, The Simpsons: ‘You can almost live forever if you have lots of money and great health insurance.’ The quality of life in this trade-off is questionable.
My mother was a walking encyclopaedia of things that can go wrong in your body. She had all of today’s standard old people’s ailments. She had smoked for years, so that gave her all the respiratory and heart related conditions. She drank a soft drink daily for most of her life. That should have ticked the diabetes box. She loved to cook and the standard fare was meat, two veg, bread, butter and a glass of milk. Breakfast was cereal during the week and a fry up on weekends that included pancakes with lots of butter, maple syrup and toast with butter. In the US they have State Fairs where each year the food vendors try new gastric delights for the visitors to consume; they always have a deep fat fried process in their making. My mother loved the Battered Deep Fat Fried Cheese Curds. I just can’t understand why she had cholesterol problems and four heart attacks, three strokes and a triple bypass! In the end she had her own cupboard for all her drugs. She never had a job after all of the children moved out, except retail therapy.
My father worked for 40+ years and retired from a global package delivery company. Growing up, from the middle of November till Christmas we never saw him till Christmas day. He would leave before we got up and we were in bed when he got home. His summer holiday was to spend his two weeks off by loading and unloading furniture for a local moving company. Once, he had a job moving someone down the street from our house and we went and watched him hump furniture in and out a truck for hours in the summer heat. He did smoke in his early years, but not a lot. He was 6ft 4 and had a good appetite, but never put a lot of weight on. He liked to play golf… more for the exercise rather than ability. There was always the 19th hole after the game for a beer. He did not drink a great deal and I don’t ever remembering him being drunk. He never said a lot or showed any emotion. His personal business/life was no one’s business but his. He retired and still could not stop. He did the charity thing where you drive elderly people to the hospital, wait and then bring them home. Life was good, he got to drive around, eat and drink what he wanted, play golf, go on boat holidays and as he used to say: he enjoyed giving the Indians in their casinos our inheritance. His whole life had been about being in control. He was a shrewd investor and managed his money wisely.
When my mother passed away, an error on the last will was discovered… it had been signed but never filed by the attorney, making it invalid. My dad had invested a lot of work into ensuring everything was safe. If the will had been filed, a small amount would have gone to the government in tax. In the end the government took half the estate in taxes – the tax bill turned out to be just over $2 million because of the error.
From this point, my father kind of quit everything he had been doing. His health started to go but he never did like doctors. He never did cooking but for the Sunday morning fry up; he was not a big fan of washing dishes either. So, my Dad loved eating out and enjoyed burgers to the point he could eat them every day; most days he did. When he did see the doctors, the cholesterol drugs, blood thinning pills and then the dementia started to show and this is what in the end took him, 5 years later when one night his heart forgot to beat.
My two sisters are both on blood thinners and medications for blood pressure or cholesterol, because there is a family history, their choice.
My whole family – sisters, parents, parent’s siblings and their parents – were all on drugs for most of the second half of their lives and so are most people I know! … Except for me.
I have considered myself not healthy, but at the same time not ill. Ill is when I have been carted off to the hospital because I could not walk. Once was a cold December night when I missed a turn on my motorcycle at high speed, that left me with two shattered ankles. The other was skiing in Iceland on Blue Mountain and yes, this was the first time I broke an ankle. This was in fact a whole new experience. I had spent my life doing dumb things that should have killed me but in fact I never broke anything, but I have lots of scars and stitches. For anyone who has never broken anything, it’s a strange experience and sensation … if you don’t move it, it doesn’t hurt!
I had put down never being sick to my body being such a toxic environment that germs could not survive. I rarely got ill, unless it was because I had broken something and instead of stopping me, it just slowed me down. I just carried on like the battery rabbit, but on crutches. My local NHS doctor’s office sent me a letter a few years ago enquiring if I had died, moved, or generally why they had not seen me in about 15 years. I was on a course of slow suicide with the life style I had been living….
Eight years ago I went to a presentation that a friend of mine had recommended as a ‘must do’ in London. What was presented there that day has changed my life. The speaker was Serge Benhayon. It was like coming home after being lost in the wilderness. I have been inspired over the past 8 years from the teachings that I have attended to make choices based on what is good for me and my body…I have never since looked back. The person I was and the person I now am, bear no resemblance to each other and this is all down to my personal choices on how I want to live. I believe that life choices are the number one cause of illness and disease…bar none!
A few months ago my wife had a full private health check. The exam was 4 hours of all kinds of tests, internal, external, joints, x-rays, ears, nose, throat and all fluid tests; there was not an area of the body that was not investigated (there was no waiting at any time during the processes). The exam finished up with an hour with the doctor, who did the stuff technicians could not do, and you got to discuss any concerns you had medically. On completion you received a report that contained the results of all the tests with charts and curves, doctor’s notes and recommendations.
I was so impressed with the whole process and the comprehensive report, I booked myself for the same exam.
The results showed that with all the years of smoking, which in the end was 50 a day (I quit 15 years ago and swapped it for food), the main item the tests showed was some reduction in lung function which is hardly surprising. The only other item was that I could do with losing a bit of weight – in the last 5 years I have lost 32kg. I have seen dentists every year even in the periods when I was making bad health choices. I started seeing opticians annually when my arms got too short to read and later on glasses were cheaper than a bigger TV.
I have spent years religiously practising preventative maintenance with my car, and not my body. I don’t like to drive in something that is not fit for purpose… so why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?
I had resisted going for check ups in the past, because I knew what bad things I was doing to my body and had no intention of changing my life style…they were my choices. Why would I waste my and the doctor’s time to be told what I already knew? (Only a bit of arrogance there!)
Now whilst UM has inspired me, I have made changes to my life, making choices for myself and for my well-being. With my new awareness of myself and my body, one that is like an older car that requires a bit more TLC…especially one that has spent most of its life rally racing. There are bits that have just about been worn out, but are still working fine if you don’t abuse them. I am far from a classic but have intentions of becoming one.
My plans are to have my annual check-ups and to keep doing the self-body checks for things that change; also to listen to my body, which is my best barometer of change. Like a fine classic car you require an expert to keep it that way – and I am the expert on my body and my choices. I now feel that the reason I have not ended up on multiple medications with medical conditions like the rest of family is because of the changes I have made to my life and the daily choices I make to take care of my body.
I feel that having been inspired by Universal Medicine about the power of choices, it is time for me to share with the world there is another way of living and to show that it is never too late.
863 thoughts on “My family’s choices and my choices – what a difference they make!”
Steve what I got from this blog is your sense of humour and that life is about choices and for many of us we make ill choices without being aware we are making them. And too me this is what makes Serge Benhayon different is he supports us to understand the consequences of our choices. If after understanding the consequences we still make ill choices then that’s up to us as individuals and part of our evolution.
Steve, I loved reading about your family. The way that your family live is the way that most of us choose to live and currently the way that you are choosing to live is the way that most people are not choosing to live but as you say it is all about choice. Individual choices combine to make collective choice, our individual health combines with the health of everybody else to make our collective health and currently, worldwide we have chosen our way into very, very ill health. But that, in a way, is ok because we do have the power and the freedom to choose our way out of it.
Steve you are a walking miracle, I love that you have developed your awareness and understanding as such that you are now inspiring others to also deepen their love, for themselves, for others and for life.
Yes, that is a very inspiring point – he lives everything he is sharing with no attachment to anyone getting it. Yet even if no-one ‘gets’ it, he knows he needs to share it for those who are ready to bring more honesty to their lives. I, like you, so appreciate I had the opportunity to hear Serge and his level of honesty that cut through every picture I had created for myself to justify the level of exhaustion I was living.
Well, thank you for sharing! I love your comment about the prevention you offer your car that does not get offered to the body “I don’t like to drive in something that is not fit for purpose… so why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?”
Steve this is a contrast in how many people live, the choices they make. There comes a point in time, where we do have to choose, what is best for us and our bodies. What we are doing or being is not working.
I loved the last paragraph, being inspired by Universal Medicine, as I concur with you. But the ‘it is never too late’ is exactly that, it is never too late to make changes to not only serve you, but everyone around you. Thank you for the sharing, inspiring for others.
‘The person I was and the person I now am, bear no resemblance to each other and this is all down to my personal choices on how I want to live.’ Yes! So to think just how much pressure we could take off the health services if we choose to live in a way that truly supports our body and health. And also I completely agree with this ‘I believe that life choices are the number one cause of illness and disease…bar none!’ It helps as well if you have people around us that live and reflect this way of life … this is the absolute beauty of Universal Medicine as that is exactly what they do and it has supported me no end to turn my life around to the person I am today ✨
‘I have spent years religiously practising preventative maintenance with my car, and not my body. I don’t like to drive in something that is not fit for purpose… so why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?’ This is a gem of a blog and makes so much sense. I love your anecdotal evidence Steve as it certainly serves to prove the point that our choices matter as they have a huge impact on our health and wellbeing.
I am realising more and more how we pay more attention to our cars, than our bodies. I observe how the car is seen as a trophy and yet the trophy is right there, being walked, fed etc.
We wouldn’t feed a petrol car, diesel and yet we do the opposite to our bodies. We need annual check ups and road worthy testing, just like regulations for our cars. If cars aren’t considered safe to run on the roads if they fail these tests, then why are we putting our bodies out there then?…
Our daily choices will eventually reveal themselves in the state of our physical, mental and emotional health. Either we can end up as a walking medical cabinet (if we can still walk!) if we ignore and dishonour our bodies, or we can live a full, vibrant and harmonious life until our last breath if we choose to honour our bodies by listening and responding to what they are asking for, even if we get a chronic illness or disease. It all comes down to the quality of choices that we make in our day to day lives.
Yes, and it starts with a willingness to be honest. We can tell ourselves so many ‘suitable truths’ that in the end we don’t even recognise when we are speaking the truth or a suitable truth.
I can see the difference in the choices I make to the majority of my peers. But not in a “I’m better way” because anyone can make loving choices they just need the space to do so.
One thing that always catches up with us is our ill choices from when we are younger. As we age our bodies and health, good or bad will be a reflection of how we have lived.
Makes me wonder then how I will age with the continuation of body-centric choices governing my life.
There are children now bring raised that supports living with body-centric choices. What reflections will they have left in the wake of a full life?
We are our own vehicle driver and responsible for the way we move, we know our own vehicle better than anyone and can hear when there is a different vibration rattling inside that needs attention.
What is this about the relationship we have with our own body? We are the expert on that, and we know to avoid doctors or whoever/whatever that is likely to expose our poor choices just to bury our head in the sand to carry on as long as we can, while we would not dare trash our treasured material possession. I bet we all know the exact details of that ‘another way of being’ that we swear we are not aware of.
Steve perfect testament to the true healing that true self love and deep care can bring.
An inspirational account of the power of our choices; choices that harm and choices that heal. Like you, and your family, I used to be the maker of choices which abused my body, even though there was a part of me that knew exactly what I was doing. But coming to realise that it is the choices I make which either support me in life, or weigh me down with illness, disease, injury or extra weight, has been like turning a light on in me which had had the dimmer switch turned way down low, for way too long.
‘Why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?’ Great question, yet we’re not taught in life that how we live, our day to day, moment to moment choices, affect our health in every way and overall quality of life. Inspiring to read Steve how our health is not a foregone conclusion based on family history – we have the choice to change our levels of health, vitality and wellbeing, at any time.
Great sharing Steve and the reality of what it is like to be around people family, friends and colleagues and we can be influenced or inspired to live like them, but when you are presented that there is a different way and it involves you having an honest and loving relationship with yourself then why not be inspired by someone who offers that. Serge Benhayon is remarkable in how he lives, what he honours and not holding back what he knows to be true. If that inspires others then so be it and I am super thankful to have meet Serge and to re-connect to what I have always known is my truth also.
It’s very clear the way you write about your family’s choices as well as the way their lives unfolded till the end. There seems to be an absence of purpose, which is exactly what you Steve have and most probably, the reason of your current healthy life. Congrats for your new choices and huge changes in your life.
“I don’t like to drive in something that is not fit for purpose… so why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?” Such great common sense Steve – we wouldn’t accept it if we treated our car the way we treat our body – yet we live in our body 24/7 and it governs how we feel, our work, our relationships – everything. We literally cannot exist without it, yet we feel it’s fitting to completely malnourish and not look after ourselves.
I loved this comment because I found it really relatable “ I don’t like to drive in something that is not fit for purpose… so why would anyone choose to live in a body that is not fit for purpose?” A really great point that we all have a choice to either continue making choices that lead to ill health or make changes that support us, and when we do make changes our whole life changes too.
I’ve been amazed at how responsive the body is and its ability to heal if we work with it instead of ignoring it. The body is very harmonious and will naturally want to come back into balance if we are able to self care by listening to and honouring what the body is asking.
I feel that taking care of my emotional wellbeing has also contributed to supporting my health as being stressed really takes a toll on the body, it’s like driving a car which is constantly revving too high and using too much fuel. I have also learnt so much from Universal Medicine about self care and that the choices I make can be either disregarding (which I have done a lot of), or attentive to my needs by listening to my body and how I feel as a being (with thoughts, feelings and hurts) and responding in a caring way, including seeking support. Self care has definitely changed my life and my health and wellbeing for the better.
When we do start to make changes in the way we live such as booking ourselves in to have a four hour health check which perhaps we wouldn’t have dreamt about doing in the past it, shows us how we can let go of resistance if we so choose. Being open to making new choices may mean letting go of the arrogance and self righteousness running through our body but I know it is well worth it when we do.
The thing that I love so much about life, is how we can all inspire eachother, even through our mistakes and poor choices, there is still always something to learn.
I agree Shami but the trouble is that currently we are inspiring each other to go deeper and deeper into illusion. When we talk about inspiration it tends to be inspiring each other to train harder, study more, to be more successful, thinner, more talented, more famous, to ‘never give up’ but all of these things are all variations on the same thing and that same thing is who we are not. We are not any of our talents, we’re none of our achievements and neither are we our looks. We are the depth of God, we are Him already and so if we are inspired by anything at all then for it to be true inspiration it has to inspire us to move inwards towards the God that we all already are.
Sometimes people have major stop moments of things like a heart attack or car crash, and it gives them the opportunity to re-evaluate life, some do, and some don’t. Steve, I know you’ve had your fair share of those ‘broken ankle’ moments, but that didn’t get you to stop so how powerful are the presentations by Serge Benhayon to get you to turn your life around entirely.
I love your writing Steve it is so down to earth, relatable and interesting and I can also really relate with what you have shared here ‘The person I was and the person I now am, bear no resemblance to each other and this is all down to my personal choices on how I want to live.’ This is also the same for me and thousands of others after seeing Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Someone shared with me the other day one of her mum’s parents lived until they were 110!!!!!! The thing is it is not the age we have lived to but what quality have we lived in. This is what is key ✨
Hear hear steve I totally agree our illness and diseases are founded on our choices. I love how you have totally presented just that and how possible it is for anybody to make different choices and the future would be far different to the one that is on track from the ill choices that can be stuck in.
The trouble with those ‘ill choices’ is that they are ingrained into our lifestyle and culture. When I read about how Steve’s family have ‘cereal during the week and a fry up at the weekend’ it struck me just how normal this is for so many of us. We simply don’t question it, in fact cereal is considered a very healthy choice by many, even though lots of cereals contain a lot of sugar and the milk that we pure on them isn’t necessarily great for the body either. ‘Working hard’ like Steve’s dad is viewed by many as a ‘good thing’ and so yet again, we don’t question it’s impact on the body or what’s driving the compulsion to work even through a holiday. Basically we don’t question our everyday life but it’s our everyday life that’s making us sick.
Thank you for sharing, it is snap shot of what many people experience in life and something that many of us assume is normal, the medicalisation of old age, where the pills and the cocktail of them keep us going until we eventually die, but the quality of life has been? This is the question we are neglecting to answer.
Sadly the description of your mother is true of far too many people in the world today. We are surviving on medication and putting up with a level of well being that is far from well, or truly being for that matter. The only real way I can see out of this dilemma is taking the responsibility for our daily way of being into our own hands by focusing on the quality that we are choosing to move in and the quality that we are bringing to every day objects and to ourselves and by valuing ourselves in and with that quality and allowing ourselves to grow from there.
Fantastic very humorous blog Steve love it! One of the things I got from it was that we are not doomed to illness and disease by our genes or family history but we can choose otherwise in terms of our lifestyle choices which can have a big impact on how our bodies end up. Perhaps the ‘family history’ factor in our health has more to do with copying or mimicking the same behaviours rather than genes? If that was the case then it makes sense that we can choose otherwise and do not have to go down the same behaviours and therefore the same medical conditions.
”I am the expert on my body and my choices” – so simple. We do know how we live every day.
What this shows is how forgiving the body is; to smoke and drink as much as you did and still recover from that – it’s a miracle.
Our choices… they can make all the difference in the world.
And whats great about this way of living that it’s not anti-drugs when it comes to medical conditions, sometimes we need to support the body with medication. But if our lifestyle is being maintained by covering up the ill effects with medication then our choices need reviewing.
Well, it sure seems that you have broken your family cycle of self-abuse via many of life’s potential indulgences, and it is no surprise that you aren’t on the meds like your parents and siblings now, even if they are definitely needed in those cases. I loved the overall feel of self-acceptance and no judgement for your family members while reading this blog, Steve!
It cracked me up that your hospital wondered how you were going and if you had died because they did not hear from you for so long! Probably the last thing they would expect was that you had changed so much that you didn’t put your body on the line anymore. It shows how there is indeed always a choice whatever our past choices have been.
Beautifully written Steve, it shows how much we abuse our own body and yet accept it as normal, when we honour ourselves and treat ourselves with loving care we make it our norm, and the more we do this the more society will see there is something different.
This story just goes to show what a difference we can make to our health and wellbeing when we listen to our body.
This blog is a great example how minor administrative matters can have a devastating impact on our life. It is worth checking these things.
“I have spent years religiously practising preventative maintenance with my car, and not my body.” How many of us do this? Do we expect our body to continue on whatever we put into it, yet regularly service and oil change our car? Since taking more loving care of my own body my health has improved – no surprise really!.
Indeed just like our car the body needs all its parts to be working well and together.
I love coming back to your blog Steve, there is humour in what is a serious message that we as a society don’t look after and care for our bodies as we should, and then wonder why we get many of the illnesses and diseases that plague us as we get older. Our body can only withstand so much before it has to say enough is enough and say stop and ask us to look at the way we are living.
It is definitely never too late. One little choice can turn our whole world around.
This is such a wonderful and relatable blog and shows how abusing ourselves and living irresponsibly is quite normal and equally how simple and beneficial it is to change all that with just a little bit of love!
What an indictment on humanity it is that anything less than love could be normal.
Great blog. Whilst our bodies can do all kinds of things when it comes to clearing with illness and disease, our quality of life and vitality is 100% related to our choices.
Wonderful to read about you tuning up your awareness and your body Steve… vintage cars are always the best 🙂
I too have been making choices that feels right for my body and have been experimenting along the way. What has been super inspiring is Serge and how he has openly shared his lived experiences and having that as a point of reflection that we do have a choice. We can do things differently that are honouring and supportive for our body and being.
There is no time limit when we choose to come back to what we have always been.
“I am the expert on my body and my choices.” So true Steve. No one knows our own body like we do!
It’s very rare these days to get to your sixties and be on no medication what so ever, except vitamins. In this day and age that speaks volumes.
” I feel that having been inspired by Universal Medicine about the power of choices, it is time for me to share with the world there is another way of living and to show that it is never too late.”
Well said Steve , yes there is a way of living , that is fun.
The most fun that any of us can truly have is simply from being ourselves in full but most of us aren’t living ourselves in full and so we have to resort to getting drunk, high, adrenaline rushes, hobbies, entertainment and food to have fun.