657 thoughts on “From Seeking the ‘Perfect Body Shape’ to Finding My Body Perfectly Beautiful as it is…”

1. Susan, I, at the moment am looking at my relationship with food. The food needs to be tasty and filling, without that, then I’m not satisfied. And it’s that satisfying that is the thing that demands all sorts of foods. I’m exploring what needs satisfying, and I come to realise that I am not being enough. Because of this, I’m searching for answers outside, expecting this from other people when at the end of the day, it’s inside of me that I need to look at.

   As I build that relationship, my body responds without perfection. I’m finding that the foods that I thought were not delicious or light are the best thing to support my body. It is a work in progress and with this I’m loving the relationship I’m building with my body, it’s forever changing.

   1. Lovely to read your comment Shushila and it definitely addresses where I am at presently. Is it that the word ‘satisfy’ is very much about the ‘me’ and not the ‘all’? It comes with a feeling of self indulgence and distracts us from the clarity and quality that is our true essence.

2. It seems that it is only when we are forced into being more aware that we finally clock underlying patterns of behaviour that have been running us and harming us for years.

   1. There seems to be an arrogance and waywardness to the Human spirit that is forever distracting us off the path that returns to Soul. Slowly but surely we are returning to the home that we innately know we come from.

   2. Agree Lucy, when we explore an issue or a concern, we eventually realise what’s been driving us to do what we do, often unsupportive to the body. We can stop harming our bodies, if we are open and honest with ourselves and willing to look at the what, then we are given the how. Life shows this to us everyday.

3. Our ‘sense of self’ gets chipped away so consistently that eventually our sense of ‘self’ bears no resemblance whatsoever to the expansive and unified sense of self that we were all born with.

   1. As I realise how long this process has been going on it’s no wonder it takes a while to shift – and from my own experience this feels much longer than one lifetime – quite ancient in fact.

4. Life is also ‘perfectly beautiful as it is’ but that beauty is covered up by a very ugly top layer, a layer that we have allowed ourselves to get transfixed by.

   1. In my experience it is never suggested that maybe underneath all the layers there is an untouched divine soul.

5. “I listened to the advice of others and did not trust myself to know what would support me to change the deep dissatisfaction I had about myself.” – This statement is surely a powerful one. Lately, I have noticed just how much I still go to others for advice about how to proceed or respond to ‘this or that’, which on one level is healthy in that it is great to look for support when needed, but when it is done in a way that you are really just looking for someone to tell you what to do without deeply feeling what your own body is telling you it needs or would work best for you, it most likely will result in a situation that you may regret. Because in looking outside ourselves for the answers we are not honouring ourselves and taking responsibility for our lives and our choices, and thus this disconnection with our body actually seems to weaken our natural ability to feel the truth of any matter that arises.

   1. When we begin a true relationship with our body we begin to listen and understand it’s forever unfolding wisdom.

6. If only I had…. it would be the answer to my problems. I remember especially in my teenage years feeling like this too about my body shape – wishing and hoping that certain parts of my body would be slimmer or fatter. I was miserable and constantly thinking about the shape of my body; the thoughts controlled my life. My teenage years didn’t have to be this way as I have come to understand and realise that how I feel about myself on the inside is what truly matters. Back then how I felt about myself was not good – I never felt I was enough and no amount of changing my body shape was ever going to fill that hole. As I have learnt and continue to do so, acknowledge and claim the beauty within myself, the relationship with my body has completely changed. I no longer seek the ‘perfect’ body shape that I was once chasing but accept the shape I am because the love inside me is far greater than any picture I was once holding of how I thought my body ‘should’ be.

   1. When we realise that we are innately beautiful this opens the way not only to us accepting our own inner beauty but we also realise the beauty of those around us.

7. I really appreciate your comment about addressing your relationship with your body at the same time as your relationship with food. All too often we do not pay attention to why, when and how we eat, merely focusing on what we eat which is such a compartmentalised way to view our behaviours.

   1. Especially when we realised that we everything about our body is interconnected and this opens us to the notion that maybe it doesn’t end there and that we are all imperceptibly connected to the pulse of the Unverse.

8. If we don’t listen to our body, it really makes sense how the body would be in constant unsettlement. It’s very likely that it would be put in a situation and/or movement that it wishes not be in, and we would want to be anywhere but where we are at, be anything but that which we are.

9. I also had a picture of what the perfect body shape was, and I didn’t have it, or so I thought. That thankfully has all changed and I am more accepting of my shape and size.

   1. I have recently realised just how ridiculous it is when I go into comparison – it feels like comparing a rabbit with a donkey – both are here on this planet for a purpose and it is for us to discern.

10. If it wasn’t so normal we would feel how astonishing it is to dislike our own bodies. In our own way what we are probably feeling when we hate our body is that because we don’t fit the ideal we won’t be accepted, loved, or perhaps have a good life because we aren’t good enough. No one likes to feel rejected or sidelined. What this understanding offers us is how abusive ideals are, that they encourage us away from loving and accepting ourselves exactly as we are, and actually enjoying being in our bodies.

    1. That is so true, “if it wasn’t so normal we would be astonished:. Sadly it is normal and so we think it is astonishing when someone actually enjoys and appreciates their body. I have learnt that this means being aware of how I move, how I touch myself and what I put on it and in it and the more attention I can pay to the detail, the more my body responds.

    2. And with the Ageless Wisdom we are gradually returning to a way of living whereby our body is a temple to be honoured and respected from the very core. We are perfectly imperfect.

11. ‘Just bringing our joy to Every situation’ is power indeed – we allow the world to feel our reflection of a joy known deeply within.

12. We spend lifetimes avoiding this tension until finally we surrender and the tension becomes our friend – and our connection back to the root cause. We can’t avoid reality – at least not forever.

    1. So true, we run from tension and yet the tension is simply a communication that something is not settled within. The moment we give up the fight is when true healing happens and we clock that the tension is our friend to ensure we never go back there again.

       1. Embracing tension – now that will certainly make a difference. For so long we have fought tension and that has got us nowhere – except going around in circles.

13. ‘I listened to the advice of others and did not trust myself to know what would support me to change the deep dissatisfaction I had about myself.’ Listening to others without discerning for ourselves often leaves us empty because we have to connect to what is true for us. Other people may be well-meaning but at that time our bodies may need something else.

    1. Time spent with our bodies is always time well spent.

14. Oh, yes I so agree Ariana. And as we each find our own unique way that opens the door to accepting others.

15. “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life. ” This was so common in my childhood too – and still is today it would seem. There was still rationing after the war when I was young so when sugar became more available it was a real treat. Ably abetted by the Sugar Bureau in the UK there is still denial about the part sugar plays in obesity. So much of the media bias is quite obvious and sadly laughable. This shows me I need to look inside myself for answers as truth is rarely presented – on account of funding issues and bias, My body knows so I learn to trust what it tells me – more so than the so-called experts.

    1. Food has become so tantalising – with a constant flow of more indulgence to numb the pain that we feel of being so disconnected. Sugar hence becomes another drug to dull our senses.

    2. That is so true, the funding issue infiltrates so many industries that we have to look to our own bodies to be the marker of what is true for us, or not. That way we are more aware of what we consume and why, taking full responsibility for the outcomes.

       1. And from this seemingly loveless way of living whereby we are manipulated at every turn we can appreciate that in the long term we are being lead back to a way of living that connects us to our body and the wisdom that it constantly shares. This is as ever the body offering us an opportunity to return to a more loving way of living with our body leading the way.

16. It’s very clear to see how our obsession with body size, weight and shape traps us in the world of ‘self’ and distracts us away from the bigger questions in life, like why am I here and how can I be of service to humanity?

    1. Our obsession with self has become so intolerant that we are now being presented with the truth of the way we have been living. The time to accept responsibility is a wonderful offering to humanity to turn things around.

17. There is a big difference for me when I feel my body is less dense and lighter energetically as opposed to dense, sluggish and ‘heavy’. This has nothing to do with body shape or weight but how my body actually feels.

    1. And for me it ‘s also about how I respond to life and walk through my day.

18. It takes a lot of clearing out and healing hurts in order to be content with our body shape – so I just love reading this blog and what it represents – the fact that the settlement comes from within and that we can truly love ourselves without comparison.

    1. Yes, the feeling I have about my body now is so vastly different to how I used to feel – never feeling I was the right size or shape. It is beautiful to feel a contentment with one’s body – but no complacency either.

       1. It feels as though contentment in the body is about giving up the chase and the drive to be anything other than our natural selves.

    2. And what I am learning at present is that deep settlement comes with time and is an ongoing unfolding.

    3. Yes, when we clear a cupboard or declutter a room there is a greater sense of ease, so why not with our body?

19. “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life.” Food is so often used as a consolation for the lack of true love, its no wonder that it becomes such a challenge for people when there is a suggestion that perhaps their way of eating does not support them.

    1. Thank you Sandra – what you have exposed here is very revealing of the relationship we have with food and how far away from us being true to our natural nurturing way whereby we honour our body with true reverence.

20. I wasn’t brought up with hugs either but having lived in California for a while I came back and introduced hugging to my family. Although my mum was a little surprised she took to it very easily and it helped us to bridge the gap that had been there for many years.

    1. How beautiful that you were able to bridge the gap, and with something as simple as a hug – we convey so much by how we express and move.

    2. I taught my dad to hug too – when I was in my twenties. It made a beautiful difference to our relationship as he had never been able to express his emotions, although I knew he did love me.

       1. And this knowing can go deeper once we connect and feel the touch of another – we then understand the sensitivity and full beauty of being alive and in connection.

21. When our self-worth and self-love have been corrupted by self-doubt, we need to heal this disconnection, and within this healing we can come to truly not just accept ourselves, but love ourselves

    1. I love the truth you present Chris when saying ‘When our self-worth and self-love have been corrupted by self-doubt’ as it brings clarity to our devious behaviour as we deliberately undermine who we are when employing self doubt. It allows us to take responsibility and to feel how deeply disregarding we are when we treat ourselves with anything less than the love and respect that we deserve.

22. Eating to nourish ourselves according to what our lives need can allow our body to come to their own natural shape.

    1. Thank you Jenny – that takes all the complication away that we load ourselves and our bodies with when we wander away from truly honouring.

23. I used to think that accepting myself as I was meant I was settling for less, that I was giving up saying there’s nothing I could do about it. But what I realised over the recent years is that I didn’t even know what I was in truth in the first place, so it was a very unfair and unjust statement, yet in a way very true as the grandness of what I was was yet to be connected to and lived.

    1. It’s amazing how ‘smart’ the brain can think it is – when the body is the true fountain of truth.

    2. Self acceptance brings to an end feeling less, self loathing,comparison and connects us to all that we are: our beautiful, precious and wise selves.

       1. A deepening self acceptance is revealing that there is always another layer of love to reveal – and that we are simply forever unfolding and returning with a greater understanding.

24. When we make a cut off point of when we have an eating disorder, it ignores the little problems and allows us to say we are at least not that bad when we having troubles with eating according to what our body truly needs. Even though actually even the littlest dislikes of our body and the resulting diet we choose to eat is a disorder to our natural way of being with ourselves.

    1. Yes, Lieke – when we go into comparison the result is never truly evolving – and denies the true needs of our body.

25. Whenever we are being consumed by relentless thoughts about food or something else we need support yet we are not supported to express how we are feeling let alone seek the counselling we need. We grow up thinking there is something wrong with us for thinking unhealthy thoughts and then before we have turned round this way of being becomes the norm and we learn to put up with it. I am no longer obsessed with thoughts of food controlling my life. It is a choice I have made and are making to deeply love, accept and nurture the gorgeous woman I am.

    1. ‘Whenever we are being consumed by relentless thoughts about food or something else we need support yet we are not supported to express how we are feeling let alone seek the counselling we need.’ This is a crazy state of affairs that we have allowed our lives to be dominated by thoughts that are not our own – surely this is the antithesis of the innately tender beings that we are when deep down we know we are so much grander.

26. Beautiful Ariana – ‘The loving dedication of ourselves and the appreciation of our body for holding us so tenderly in love, waiting for us to ‘get it’ that our body holds such wisdom and love within’ who could possibly resist – and yet we do as we each return to that point where this will be our living reality.

27. I loved reading this blog as it reminds me of the importance of living first before it is about the pleasures in life. Food has certainly been classed as an indulgence and reward and its important to be honest about this and why we use food in this way

    1. I feel the development of this honesty is something that requires a period of loving dedication. Although I felt that I was being honest with myself I can now understand that it would take a while before I was willing to be truly honest and for me this began with self acceptance and self love. Being gentle with myself was a great start.

    2. Yes, we are sold very short when we are encouraged to think that life is all about comfort – and then one day we realise that the comfort is not so comfortable at all but in fact deeply detrimental.

28. Food is a topic that has enthralled us I suspect for many a lifetime. Some I have noticed build their life around food and what they are going to eat stays with them throughout the day as if a reward for getting through the day. I just see it now as something we use to dull how sensitive we are and use it for that purpose more than to nurture ourselves.

    1. Yes, Julie – and yet for me even though I am understanding more and more there is always still further to go with exploring this relationship between my body and food. The deeper I go the more sense it makes to honour the body first before listening to the taste buds in my mouth.

29. Appreciating our body for all it does to support us as we move through life offers space to be aware of the beauty of our inner essence..

    1. Indeed Mary – as do your words offer us that space as we pause and realise the wisdom of your expression.

30. It is very common to grow up with that kind of relationship to food. We take on so many behaviours that are common but not true and it takes a lot to renounce them when we are older, as we got so used to it. Imagine we would raise our children differently instead of “how everybody does it” . What if food is to keep us alive but not to fill any emotional gaps we have because we are disconnected to ourselves.

    1. Although it’s very common to grow up with ‘that kind of relationship to food’ it feels as though a new awareness is burgeoning and we are all beginning to question whether these time-old ways are serving us any longer? Eventually we will all realise that our bodies are for us to honour and not obliterate with anything that comes to hand be it food, alcohol or some other numbing out device.

    2. Now that might really turn the world upside down – an overhaul we deeply need I feel.

31. As we let go of berating ourselves we begin to feel an expansion from within. Acceptance is the key to truly healing and becoming whole – and this wholeness allows an unfolding and an opening for us to deepen our relationship with our body and surrender.

32. Making the choice to connect to our body is so simple, whilst being one of the most powerful and life changing moments as we allow the body to unfold back to its natural way of being. As you say Linda ‘our body responds by restoring and rebalancing itself back to harmony’ and what could be more beautiful and a blessing for the world to also feel and find inspiration..

33. A great reminder of how images can control our choices and how damaging that can be, we are all unique and we are not designed to be perfect.

    1. When we allow anything from outside to impose and control us we are dishonouring our body – our one true ally within what we know as human life.

34. We so willingly abandon ourselves, a sacrifice on the altar of advertising, the media, our images, ideals and the pictures of how we should be and look. Our body then suffers as a consequences and has to bear the brunt of this madness.

    1. So true – at some point long ago we agreed to abandon ourselves as a sacrifice on the altar of creation.

35. This blog raises the question if we take on beliefs such as we live to eat, how can we connect to true purpose and engage fully in life?

    1. And as we begin to question more and more we can wonder why it is that we feel the need for these beliefs when in truth and in full connection we simply know……

36. “I was deeply dissatisfied with myself and I am now realising that it was very painful to reject my own body in this way”. I used to think that my thoughts somehow magically floated into my head and floated off again without leaving an impact. Since re-discovering my body through gentle movements and conscious presence, I know that my body hears and feels every thought. The comparing, critical thoughts cause a great deal of harm, more than any food I can eat or lack of exercise.

    1. Yes, as we go deeper and deeper we can begin to see the whole unfolding – or as I now feel we are returning to the ‘whole’ we innately know we are.

37. The more we realise how beautiful we are, the more we stay us in all communication and movements.
    We can start to feel a fullness in our body from where we deeply enjoy ourselves with all the forms of our body. No pictures how we should be but free.

    1. Yes, Sylvia – appreciating ourselves begins the process of self healing and as we feel a deeper settlement in our body we move and communicate with ease and an expansion that permeates every particle and allows space and a fullness within.

38. It’s an interesting story Susan, what I can feel is we know love (you sharing a hug as a child) but then we withdraw it or give up on it because of hurtful, confusing or traumatic circumstances. It may be as simple as our love being rejected. From that point what may happen is by separating from our love we are left with ideals and beliefs, and to seek recognition and acceptance for things that we do or for how we look. It’s a huge journey to unpick this all and recover ourselves out of issues like body image ideals to return to self love and love – congratulations as it’s amazing to read about the love you have reconnected to and now can live from Susan.

    1. And this unpicking is an ongoing process ad infinitum I feel – each moment passes and makes way for a deepening and what we feel is love today is something we may leave behind tomorrow.

39. Our body shape and weight is telling us something about how we are living. Rather than berating it what if we stopped to pay attention and listen? What if it is already perfect for us in order to learn or confirm something right now?

    1. So true Leigh – nothing is nothing – there is always a lesson to learn and new opportunities to deepen our understanding.

40. “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life.” This is a common way of ‘making up’ for the lack of quality of presence – from parents, grandparents and the like. This teaches young ones to look for sweet treats to fill the emptiness they may feel in later life. And now we have an obesity epidemic………

    1. And when we are willing to see this Truth maybe we will be willing to accept responsibility for all the ills and re-imprint the culture of blame that is currently so prevalent.

41. We can spend our days trying to fix ourselves and live with anxiousness, or simply connect to the part of us that isn’t broke, our essence and multi-dimensional selves.

    1. There is a much deeper part to us that reaches into eternity and embraces multidimensionality, the joy and grandness of our amazingness.

       1. ‘There is a much deeper part to us that reaches into eternity and embraces multidimensionality’ and when we feel this we no longer need anything outside – we are at one with the all that is graciousness and truly magnificent.

42. That constant daily rejection of our bodies, as well as thoughts of ‘I just need to x and then I’ll feel x’ or if only x were different, then I could fully embrace life, or whatever we want to be doing, take their toll and wear us down. When we let go of control and perfection, and needing things to be certain ways for us, we feel lighter, fuller, and much more connected and committed to loving ourselves and others.

43. When we hold a part of our body as less or not up to scratch we are rejecting a part of ourselves… no wonder we then have illness and disease like eating disorders and excessive exercise and plastic surgery. There is a disconnect and therefore when we do not realise our body is a vehicle of expression for our soul to express through, then we can do just about anything to it.

44. Loving acceptance and appreciation of ourselves as we are is a key to deep healing.

45. When we can come to the understanding that we are all unique in body shape and what may be acceptable for one person’s body may not be suitable for ours, we will be able to let go of the striving for the perfect body shape. It’s our uniqueness that makes us who we are and that is to be embraced not cast aside in the quest for perfection, an ideal that simply does not exist.

    1. The problem is we’re all obsessed with the physical not multi-dimensional and this leads into a cul-de-sac.

46. I can feel how we reduce ourselves when we live to and with images, instead of allowing the whole of us to feel and know what is true, and participate and commit to what is.

47. There is always very subtle message being delivered from our body. It knows what it needs always, in the moment. Whether that is rest, exercise, a specific food, how much to eat, the time to eat, there is so much that our body divinely knows, if we are just willing to feel it.

48. I like how this article breaks things down to how we feel about ourselves being the driver behind how we use food.

49. If we are living according to a picture, or an image, life cannot help but be one endless disappointment. To reconnect and to start to feel who we truly are gives us the opportunity to reconfigure, to be, to live in harmony with ourselves.

50. From experience I can say that the truest way to eat comes from an acceptance of who we truly are.

    1. I totally agree Joshua – acceptance is the key that unlocks so many of our dilemmas in life.

51. How beautiful to come to a level of acceptance of your body after experiencing all the issues you have described. Our environment when we are growing up has such an impact on how we live and what we perceive as ‘normal’. Finding our way out of this and finding our own true way is sometimes not easy, but is worth every moment of exploration and openness to change.

    1. Yes Rebecca it definitely is ‘worth every moment of exploration and openness to change’. It has been a long process and one where I have not always wanted to see what was evidently clear once I began to become more self loving in my relationship with myself.

52. ” Rather than seeking the ‘perfect body shape’ (which is a complete illusion) I now accept my body shape as perfectly beautiful just the way it is’ How beautiful Susan.

53. Food is a tricky one – on the one hand, we want to eat healthily and to nurture our bodies, and yet, on the other hand, we feel compelled to eat things that are not good for us or the shape or health of our bodies.

54. Accepting oursleves from the inside out, from our true qualities within, is the way to go. It allows us to see what doesn’t belong to us, the self criticism in how our bodies are, the comparison with others, and let it go and appreciate our qualities and the body we have.

55. It’s so exhausting disliking and berating our bodies for not fitting into our picture of what perfect would look like. Whereas there is so much freedom in appreciating what we have and seeing that there is nothing wrong with the way we look.

    1. Perfection is such a huge detour whereas appreciation can build a deep inner acceptance and confirms our relationship with God. Judging ourselves so harshly has been our downfall from feeling the grace and beauty that is our natural way of being at one with the world.

56. “I began to realise that there was something fundamentally unhealthy about my relationship with food when I was about to undergo a procedure where I had to fast for 24 hours and realised how much of my day was taken up with all-consuming thoughts about food.” This is a great example Susan of how we get so stuck in our ways of just going through the motions of eating meals at certain times, because it’s what we’ve been conditioned to do, rather than stopping to feel whether it’s what our bodies are really asking for at that time. If we do have to fast, for whatever reason, whether it is medically related or otherwise, it is interesting to observe when we get cravings to eat something and to note what foods we are going for, as this can lead to a deeper understanding of why the cravings are there in the first place.

57. What I appreciate more and more is how my body is returning to its own natural shape as I care for and listen to its constant loving and at times loud communication.

    1. As we expand our connection within we allow space for the natural order of the particles.

58. I find it interesting that we seek the ‘perfect body shape’ because what are we basing that on, an ideal, a belief or a picture, if we have desires to look a certain way than we have lost our connection to ourselves because we are beautiful from the inside out.

    1. Our sight and what we see has become distorted by outside perceptions, whereas our inner sight (insight) remains true.

59. There is a natural shape to our body that will be perfect not by how it looks or fits any pictures but by the quality in which it is left to move and be.

60. Food has been far removed from its purpose, to nourish the body so we can live and do what we’ve come here to do. Food is used to please, to numb, to distract, to console and the list goes on, ad infinitum. And the global health statistics attest to this.

    1. When we learn to nourish our body from within our hunger for distraction will lose it’s power.

61. Dieting or die-eating, especially when all foods taste sensational, so do we eat to live or eat to die? Could it be if we listen to our body we can eat to serve humanity? Then if we are distracted, which means we listen to those thoughts that get us to eat what ever foods taste great and we know they will dull our awareness so “when we begin to realise how truly precious and amazing” we are we eat to be lesser than this greatness. As you have shared Susan that ”having a true relationship with” our body and food changes the energy we buy, eat, drink and eliminate in. And “It also feels like a way of living that is more than just about my body.”

62. I find that the judgement of my body and my behaviours like my diet is very comfortable. It’s easy to do and provides a great distraction from the deeper questions of what don’t I want to be aware of?

63. This idea that “if I had ‘the perfect body shape’ then life and my relationships would likewise be ‘perfect’.” is promulgated almost everywhere you look – magazine covers, mannequins in shop front windows, barbie dolls, models on runways, adverts, etc. As women we don’t stand a chance! Until, that is, we move away from the ideals and beliefs that society at large has filled our eyes and heads with and start to recognise that it doesn’t have to be this way. The sharing of your path to returning to the beautiful woman that you are is super inspiring, Susan Lee!

64. We can give our bodies such a hard time, comparing them to others, abusing them, fighting them, all to try and fit into an idea we have of how our body should be rather than accepting it as it is in all its beauty.

65. It is interesting how we bring in control to change the way we eat, exercise and our body shape, when all the time our bodies know their natural shape and what is supportive and nourishing. That is if we listen rather than override what we have felt to be true.

66. We start off in this world not interested in our body shape or size and just love expressing through our bodies. Then as we grow up most of us aren’t supported to honour and cherish ourselves and love our bodies just as they are so we then look at and compare ourselves with others, and get a picture in our heads of how we need to look to be accepted or for recognition and so the path of lack of self worth and having to prove, begins.

67. Seeking the perfect body is a bit of a trick I think, what amazing parts of life, what amazing lessons and what are we missing in ourselves when we are searching for something else rather than cherishing what’s already there?

68. Taking on the ideals of society on what our body should look like is one of the first ways that we reject ourselves. As little kids, we couldn’t care less what we look like, as we know how lovely we feel. This all changes as we start to be aware of societal values around body image and how we measure up or not.

    1. I agree Fiona, I can remember being completely amazed by how cool my body was, looking down at my legs when I would run and how they would carry me with such strength and I enjoyed the suppleness of my movements and the freedom…. yet I can see when and how this changes when we are told that in some way we are not moving right, our body is not developing, growing or looking like it ‘should’ do on a ‘normal’ scale.

69. It’s interesting that when we don’t listen to our body the consequences are that our body speaks louder through symptoms and illness, but when we do listen our body it can respond very quickly to the changes we make.

    1. Yes Ruth. It can be literally remarkable how quickly our body responds in a positive way when we make changes in our lives that deeply support us.

    2. I agree Ruth as we learn greater respect for our body and build a rhythm that is mutually more harmonious we let go of the fight and there is consequently less tension.

70. Being present in my body has changed how I see and feel about my body. I am more in my skin and loving my reflection in the mirror for the first time since I was a little girl. I used bulimia for years to control my body in all it’s expression and also demanded it to be perfect in every way. It’s amazing how many people including myself who when they started to love, honour and respect themselves their bodies changed size and shape naturally.

71. My version of a perfect body [male and female] was distorted by all the beliefs I got from my parents, my peers, books and magazines.
    I understand all this and still after 66 years I find myself judging myself and others because of how our bodies look.
    It is a way of seeing that totally prevents you from seeing the amazingness we all are.
    Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for supporting me to untangle all these beliefs.

    1. We have been so set up to judge ourselves and our bodies harshly with a myriad of ideals and beliefs – and we are blessed to have a reflection of such a beautiful and uncompromising man – where would we be without Serge Benhayon and his commitment to life and humanity?

72. I’ve found that there is a lot that happens before I even get to the point of consuming the food. A top tip I received is that whenever something happens that distresses us, don’t get caught in the drama or struggle. Step out of the situation and look 10 steps back to see what happened. From there it is clear where to go next.

    1. This is a very wise tool to use Michael… one I forget when I’m knee deep in the drama but every time without fail it’s super clear what took me out when I take those steps back.

73. Putting conditions on our own self acceptance limits us being all of who we truly are.

74. A beautiful in depth sharing Susan, A wonderful informative blog that opens our eyes to the truth that we have the perfect body for us and the most nurturing thing for us to do is appreciate and love it and the rest will follow!

    1. true Doug and this is why no 2 bodies are the same and we should not want them to be.

    2. Every body has, if lived aligned to who you truly are, perfect angles that represent heaven. There is no better or worse, nor bigger or smaller that is more beautiful. Question is, do you live in a body that represents the full you? !

       1. Appreciating our body fully is an all embracing part of our livingness – and as we accept more of ourselves our body settles and comes back to its divine design where we can feel the full-ness of who we are.

75. It is no wonder that if we live on a daily basis not happy with the shape or the size of the body we live in, that our body will suffer the consequences in one way or another. It is like we are separated from who we truly are and so living, working, walking and breathing in a way that is not true to our natural way of being. Once we come to a place where we are able to love our body just the way it is, it is not just our body that will begin to respond to this love, but our life in general.

76. Being able to accept ourselves in any one moment for who we are, is a transformative moment, which means there is no head involved, just a delicious feeling of moving with the body and enjoying the love we are moving in.

77. As we let go of identification ie individualism, we no longer need the judgment that feeds it.

78. “We each need to find our own unique and unfolding way where we begin to love ourselves and life and become more fully engaged and empowered, as it is certainly awesome when we begin to realise how truly precious and amazing we all are within beneath the surface, no matter what shape we are.” Very true. we are all unique and amazing – we just need to let it show. The world would be a dull place indeed if we were all clones and look-alikes. As I love myself more I am appreciating and loving my body more than ever, despite being in my 60s. Not a common feeling for my age group!

    1. When we love who we are in our essence age no longer dominates our perceptions.

79. We can be so undermining of who we are and our body by comparing ourselves to a mental ideal or perfect picture of what we think we should look like, what if instead we used that focus to appreciate the beauty we already are and allow ourselves to re-connect with whatever our true shape is, through honouring our whole body and nothing less than that….

    1. That ‘perfect look’ is peddled, but when we stop the comparison and let ourselves just be perfectly imperfect – no homogenised ideals or ‘not good enoughs’, we get the glory of each others uniqueness.

       1. So true Rosanna – the more we let go of the drive to be ‘perfect’ the more our appreciation of humanity expands and with this expansion there is room for everyone as we let go of individualisation. As we learn to understand ourselves more it allows us to feel a sense of all inclusiveness and love for the rest of humanity.

80. Simply, quietly suspending disbelief and accepting that maybe, just maybe, we are perfectly imperfect just the way we are and that in accepting this we show others the same. This goes a long way to break down the ills in society about attaining some perfect look set out by a fickle and economically led fashion and beauty industry.

81. When my body shape changes due to my food choices being excessive or indulgent it is hard to then not hate myself for my behaviour that has led to this change. In fact the food choices have been an attack well before the hate kicks in. In this case my body is representing and exposing the ill choices I have made and it is very visible. I can understand why people fall into this loathing of their bodies. They show us the truth, and sometimes we don’t like it.

82. I am still at times gobsmacked by how big a part food has taken in western life. If we look around on an average shopping street how many places for food and drink are there? How often in a day do we consume something and what are the various reasons for doing so. If food has the sole purpose of nourishing us then what we see will be a hard to miss indication that our relationship with food has gone way off track with the enormous rise in lifestyle diseases to pay for it.

83. We are loaded with stuff to make us a dis-ease with our bodies but we have got to ask why… Is it possible that the body holds more wisdom and insight than we give credit.

84. Our bodies are so incredible that they do not deserve to be put down by our lack of self worth

85. When I feel connected to my body and feel the universality I know exactly what, when and how to eat. My body gets treated like the temple it is then and I love feeling the space and clarity that goes with it.

86. We find flaws in ourselves when there are gaps in our self-love. It is understandable why we arrive here but the more I have self-nurtured, the more I have dedicated space to work on my daily rhythm and to connect to my body the more I have appreciated myself and the less hard and judgemental I have been on myself and my body.

    1. As we pay greater attention to our body and its needs we can feel an increase in the spaciousness within our body and in that connection we can feel the grace and beauty that is our natural essence.

87. “I recall as a child giving a member of my family a hug and it being shrugged off and I was told that ‘an ounce of work was worth a pound of pity’. I found this very confusing and painful.” This would undoubtedly be confusing for anyone Susan, child or grown up, and understandably so. So much harm comes from our words and it can be far more harmful than physical pain as it is pain that cannot be seen and is therefore very often not registered by others. But the damage can be far reaching indeed.

88. Coming to the right food / work balance in life is a science, which I experience as a daily practise which is constantly in response to what my body needs. This means that no rules can be applied as the food chosen always is a result of the movements my body has made or is going to make – which changes each day.

89. I find that I am attracted to people more for the way they move rather than their body shape. The way someone moves can be soooooo sexy. We get so hung up on shape and size that we forget to focus on movement and how this can help us feel and look amazing. If we hang our heads in shame because we are not the weight that we would like to be we do not appear attractive in the slightest. Where as if we stand strong and hold ourselves tall while moving in a way that is full of natural ease and confidence there is not a soul in this world that will not melt when we come their way.

90. As a child to hug another and be told ‘an ounce of work was worth a pound of pity’ is a bit weird really, something was clearly going on for that person that day. But by you bringing it up in this blog Susan as an adult, it goes to show how long we hold these experiences in our body and how they can come back to tease or bewilder us time and time again unless we resolve and let go of them.

91. When I feel great I feel great about my body, no matter what shape or weight it happens to be.

92. The food choices that we make most definitely reflect how we are travelling in our lives and in our day, but most of us are more concerned with ticking boxes and getting results so then we easily override our bodies warnings and then complain when we get the results of that choice.

93. Our relationship with food exposes what is happening around us energetically, and is a great sign to show us what is going on in our lives. It’s never about the food, it’s about the energy we are living in.

94. I was surprised the first time I had to go on a fully liquid diet for health reasons, how I would dream and think of food excessively. I am pretty sure I came up with enough new recipes ideas to fill several cookbooks. I even spent time thinking about and craving foods I do not even like anymore. The obsessiveness shocked me. I had these thoughts during the first two to three weeks and no matter how much liquid I ate I could not quell my hunger pain….. It was only when I started to address how I used food to numb and bury emotions/issues did I start to feel a shift. Food had never really been an issue for me (I thought) I rarely overate or ate foods I had previously discovered where not working for me. So when this situation raised the red flag I was shocked….. I now address the quality in which I eat e.g. do I eat to support and nourish my body or so I can function while avoiding feeling something. How I sit, the pace I eat at & my level of presence in my body while preparing/eating a meal are dead giveaway signs that inform me of what choice I am presently making.

95. When we honour and nurture ourselves for who we are, and let go of any expectaions from others and what we ‘think’ we shoud be, it becomes easier to appreciate and accept who we are and the body we have so that eventually we come to love what we have been given regardless of our size and shape. Through this process I have found that my body has even changed shape, and is now more reflective of the true woman I am.

96. Self-acceptance is one of the most amazing foundations to live from and as this builds a whole world of respect, honouring and appreciation opens up; this is then the way we see and relate to everyone else in our lives.

97. Comparison of others starts very young, we are encouraged to compete and compare rather than appreciate the qualities that another brings.

98. Acceptance is a difficult thing for many when we are bombarded with information about what we should be.

99. We can carry so many pictures and ideals about what the perfect body shape will give us and yet this process of comparison really involves rejecting ourselves and is the opposite of self acceptance.

100. I have certainly used food as a dulling mechanism or as a mechanism to stop me from feeling by putting me into nervous energy from stimulation. My diet has changed dramatically over the last twelve years as I’ve gone alcohol, caffeine, sugar, dairy and gluten free and my body is now pretty slim but the food obsession is still there – I can have days when I eat handfuls of nuts and think I am ‘getting away with it’ but recently my body has been saying ‘Uh Oh’ and I’ve been putting on weight again. When I honour my feelings and express what I feel, the eating becomes less – it’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation.

     1. At times I find my relationship with food perplexing – if I go into reaction and my body contracts I am on the path of disregard and I find myself focussing on a need for food and the fix I ‘think’ it will bring – it’s an unfolding path that allows me to let go of the need to fix and understand what’s unfolding.

101. True healing comes from accepting support in all areas and realising where we have been holding unnatural ideals and beliefs over our natural and innate way of being. How important is it to seek not just the medical support and nutritional support, but also the energetic understanding from the Esoteric Modalities.

102. Hello Susan and thank you so much for sharing your blog – this is a classic scenario dare I say where as women we can be so critical of our body and keep giving ourselves conditions such as ‘when I lose a few kilos then I will love myself more or find myself more sexy’ etc. But the truth is that the loving oneself or the feeling sexy comes from within first and cannot depend on the body shape nor size. The proof is also in the fact that many models hate their body despite being a so called shape and size that most women are seen to envy. So really it is about how we are with ourselves, the relationship we hold with ourselves and how much we treasure who we are over and above how we look. And this is a forever unfolding learning for us all as women.

     1. It is a forever unfolding and interestingly I am enjoying my body more as I get older; this is totally not what I was expecting, having feared ageing when I was younger because I was so caught by having to look at certain way and a lot of that was about a picture of youthfulness.

103. You show how developing a connection and relationship with our body dismantles the constructs of images, pictures and expectations of what we think describes a beautiful body. Beauty is feeling the quality within.

104. Amazing change, miraculous actually. Especially considering how many diets and regimes are out there which never truly work. We are constantly avoiding just simply being with ourselves using everything we can from outside us whilst simply being is one of the most natural and easiest ways to live… just being ourselves!

105. Wonderful that you chose to look at all aspects of what was concerning you: doctor, dietician and esoteric practitioners. I have found it immensely valuable to welcome the input of specialists for the physical body and at the same time as seeking support from esoteric practitioners for deepening my awareness, understanding my part in the issue and healing.

106. The relationship we have with our body, whether we deeply regard or disregard it, is on a constant feedback to the person, confirming either the regard or disregard.

     1. Well said Johanne, so the question is which one do we really want to be growing for ourselves, which one do we want to foster and have a relationship with? Easy to answer, though I must say that it can be challenging to change our way of being if we have always had a momentum of a poor or degrading relationship with ourselves and our body. Then again it is never too late to begin a loving relationship with self and the body, and it is well worth it!

107. I understand how our ambivalence to our bodies can reflect a lack of self acceptance for embracing who we truly are and a lack of self care. The journey of self acceptance described here shows that we each have our own natural shape and weight that can be embraced and appreciated.

108. ” From Seeking the ‘Perfect Body Shape’ to Finding My Body Perfectly Beautiful as it is…” Thank you Susan what a revelation .

109. What I have been marvelling at in recent months, is how the more I have let go of my ideals about my body shape, the more gorgeous it seems to become. It was not so long ago that I was beginning to notice that parts of me were getting a bit saggy :-), which is a natural part of getting older, but I recently realised that I have filled out again, and my body seems to have become even more curvy than ever before! And I am appreciating that this has happened as a result of me embracing myself as a woman more and more, to the point where I am actually loving my body. Quite the opposite to the more commonly accepted beliefs of women who are approaching their mature years, and feeling as though life is more of a downward slope from here on.

     1. As we embrace our whole selves more fully our body responds to the natural self love that is felt deeply within, and as we let go of the contraction and tension we become more fully ourselves inside and out and return to our full inner beauty that resides in our essence.

110. No one starts off life having a negative relationship with their body. Quite the contrary, as you can feel the delight in babies as they explore every inch of their body and how it feels. Some of us like me were born quite chubby but I certainly didn’t sit there bemoaning my rolls of fat! This disliking our body is something we women (and men) quickly learn from society and take on.

111. There can be such delight in appreciating our natural body shapes whatever they may be. Self acceptance goes a long way to counter the comparison and judgement that we have often learnt.

112. “Finding my body perfectly beautiful as it is..” would have to start with loving ourselves from the inside out… and then the body shape, size, beliefs or ‘pictures’ simply do not hold one to ransom any longer.

113. As a child i remember when deserts or sweet things like chocolate and cake were discussed i would notice how voices would begin to change, they would get high pitched & excitable, what was being playing out as a joke often felt oddly sinister underneath.

114. Having yo-yoed up and down weight-wise for most of my life I can conclude 2 things, which seem to be hard to reconcile in tandem. The first is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re far from or close to your ideal weight: either way you won’t like yourself if you don’t love yourself for who you are first. The second is if you remain over or under-weight but have developed self-love, you will still know that your state is reflecting something that needs to be addressed, which could allow old feelings of hopelessness to flourish. I suspect the answer still is to develop self-love in the first case so you can work lovingly on the second.

115. It only takes a quick glance along any high street to see how obsessed we are with food. Every other shop is a food outlet, and it seems coffee shops are multiplying rapidly.

116. “I was still eating quite regularly but I realised that the way I was living was not supporting my body. I held my body in constant tension and anxiety and so was burning off the calories at a higher rate than my intake.” I have noticed this with my own body and my food intake. It seems to always come down to the quality that I am in when I am eating the food. This makes all the difference to how I look. I can go through stages of looking strained and drained or nourished and healthy, depending on how well I attend to the quality I am bringing.

117. Comparison with others is a very dangerous game to play. Not only do we harm others but the damage to ourselves is unimaginable on an energetic level. Whenever I feel a bit of comparison or jealousy creeping in, I do my best to nominate it and oust the reason as to why I’m choosing that.

     1. Yeah it is super destructive and often quite pernicious. It’s super important to be on top of this very human game.

118. “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life.” I wonder how many of us are able to relate to this Susan? Considering the ever increasing problem of obesity that is apparent across the world today, this speaks volumes about our current relationship with food and how we relate to each other.

     1. Our relationship with food is reflecting our relationship with everything else as we are not accepting our own innate divinity.

119. Self acceptance of our natural body shape is such a beautiful inward movement that cannot but emanate outwards.

     1. Both allowing love in and out……….and expanding space.

120. I have recently joined the gym, and I am aware of people around me exercising specifically to sculpt their bodies into a certain shape. The focus does not seem to be so much on exercising for health and well-being, but is more about exercising to look good. It is startling how common this is.

     1. Once we begin to explore a deeper relationship with our body then we are open to how abusive it can be to only focus on how we look from the outside with total disregard to our feelings from within. Unfortunately we have been living is disregard for so long we have lost most or all connection with what true love and true nurturing are.

121. Susan, I love this; ‘From Seeking the ‘Perfect Body Shape’ to Finding My Body Perfectly Beautiful as it is…’ this self acceptance is very beautiful, having spent many years disliking my body and wanting it to be different I can feel how harmful and what a waste of time and energy this is, I now accept my body for how it is and no longer dislike it or wish it it be different, this allows me to feel settled in my body and confident in myself.

122. Appreciating and accepting ourselves as we are is fundamental to true well-being.

123. A big part of beauty is how we are with ourselves and our body. Then our shape adjusts.

124. While studying with Universal Medicine I am becoming more and more aware of how exquisite our physical and energetic bodies are, and how every single one of our particles has an innate powerful connection with the Universe that we are a part of, and the love, intelligence and wisdom that runs through us 24/7.

     The fact that we distract ourselves from the grandness of this by such trivial matters such as body image is both laughable and a travesty.

125. Our body reflects to us our choices so the more we make loving choices the more our body reflects this.

126. As a woman I know exactly how to talk to myself and assess myself to take me away from the magnificence of my body. I know the foods to eat, the way to move, the pictures to look at to confirm I am less – and it strikes me how much we know the opposite of love.

127. I’m trying to remember when I started being concerned with my body shape and I feel it was when around aged 8/9 I started getting quite chubby and was given the nickname Heffalump by a family member. I can remember the dawning realisation that it wasn’t enough to just be me but that I had to look a certain way too if I wanted to fit in. From then until relatively recently, my feeling of self-worth was entirely based on what others thought of me, or what I thought they thought of me. Being inspired by Natalie Benhayon and many others has changed all that.

     1. Yes, many of us either try to fit into what others are asking us to be or rebel against these demands. Neither allows our true expression.

128. For some time I have been struggling with myself because of my body shape. I judged it as a very thin and always wanted to have few more kilos. But the more I ate, the more obsessed and frustrated I was, because my weight didn’t increase, even lessened during some time. My body was simply reflecting to me the way I treated myself. That constant judgement ends in contraction and that contraction in thinness. Simple. Once I realised this, I started rebuilding my selfworth, observing my approach to food, placing much more emphasis in the quality I was eating in and not the quantity of food. Now my weight is the same, no changes in the numbers, but yes in the way I feel myself. Few days ago a friend of mine told me that I was more glowing and that was a confirmation for me of the way I have been taking care of me, which is reflected in the expansion that I and others feel. In the end of the day, the most important thing is not my shape, but how I honour myself, looking at and treating me with love.

129. I have found that feeling the loveliness in the way I move, brings out an appreciation and a beautiful feeling of my natural beauty.

130. The more we see our own beauty, the more beautiful we truly become.

131. It’s interesting how we seek perfection in so many ways, not just our body shape, but who is telling us what is perfect? If we strip it back to perfection being another’s ideal or belief, then that is all it is. But if we live our lives in full connection to who we are, and express that in full knowing that whatever we feel from our bodies is true for us, we start to appreciate that there is no such thing as perfection, as what I feel to be true for me will not neccessarily be true for another.

132. Absolutely of course we need to eat and we need food to be healthy but we can develop an unhealthy relationship with food if we are not careful and this can lead to many problems.

133. We reach for food in order to not feel the abuse that we are fed from systems we have set up that have no care or regard for the human within them. There is a whole world of ‘don’t want to feel’ that is behind our insatiable demand to be supplied with a whole banquet of evil that stops us feeling the extent of the rot we have allowed by not living true to the love that we are.

     1. Yes you can really sense this message of escapism from life and not wanting to feel and instant gratification and stimulation in advertising for food and drink these days.

134. ‘When I look back on the first three or so years of my life, I can feel the connection to this awesome child that embraced life and had a sense of wonder and love that was joy-full and vivacious – and yet could not quite understand what was going on, as the world around me was not confirming this.’ Yes Sue , I remember this distinctly – the gap between my natural self and what was being presented by the world was huge.

135. Just imagine for a minute if the whole world read this article, understood it and lived by it… Whole industries would close down, and it would be a foundation of love and connection within humanity… Because self-love is where everything starts.

136. Food is such an interesting subject – in a weird way it consumes us by how much we think about it or are engaged in its planning, gathering, preparation, and consumption. There is a real freedom in letting go of (some of) that attachment and just listen to what our bodies are calling for.

137. When we begin to support our body in a supportive mode for what it needs, are we not practising future health care?

138. I have found it telling and have asked others at work why we eat lunch? When work through lunch is that telling us something? Do we eat because the clock tells us it is time to eat, or are we really hungry? Or, are we just been conditioned to be Pavlov’s dog, waiting for the bell to ring?

     1. Great questions Steve…I find that I can have an automatic pang of hunger around 1pm because that is when I have conditionally stopped for lunch so often in the past but when I have a busy workload or am purposefully engaged and/or enjoying myself sometimes the lunchtime voice is not there, or if it is, it easily passes and I realise that this was not real hunger but a habitual response like that of Pavlov’s dog. I feel much more vital and clear from not eating and then I appreciate my evening meal much more. I find that when I am doing more heavy physical work that is when I am more likely to want a snack, but far less that I would have eaten in former times.

139. What a beautiful understanding you have come to with your body and you and the love and amazingness you now feel about yourself . This is very inspiring and so important to look at for our selves and our own relationship with our body and very joyful to feel when we appreciate ourselves truly.

140. Regardless of how my legs look, they carry me though life supporting me in all I am here to do, and so for that reason they are immensely precious and loved by me.

141. “… Finding my Body Perfectly Beautiful as it is…” A discovery that comes with developing an intimate relationship with the quality of you and how you feel under the skin… This becomes the defining marker, and not so the physical shape we see reflected back in a mirror. True medicine would have to be developing and confirming this innermost relationship we can have with our body as it would build resilience, love and a healthy relationship with life and everything in it.

     1. You are spot on Johanne that our relationship we have living with what is under our skin our ultimate relationship. I have been fat and thin. Thin was being in constant motion running away from myself. Being fat was just a different way of hiding except you did not have to move so much. My body is now somewhere in the middle that suits me well.

142. This is such a great overview of your relationship with your body and how that has been in association with your relationship with food, ideals and beliefs that you thought were you only way. What an awesome support you must of had to be able to share how this has totally changed and that you have an absolute joy and love for your body and your self. This is super inspiring.

     1. Without the support of Unversal Medicine I feel I would still be clinging on to ideals and beliefs. The many lovely Esoteric practitioners have been a huge part of the changes. They have allowed me to explore my relationship with my body.

143. My body shape is pretty amazing since I stopped eating gluten and dairy alcohol and sugar, but every now and then I go back into binge eating, usually when I’m exhausted or upset and although I don’t put on much in the way of weight, it feels hard inside and my mood changes, which shows that what we eat and drink affects more than just body shape.

144. If we see our body’s purpose as delivering infinite youth, boundless energy and sensational good looks, safe to say, we may be disappointed. If we see our body though, as an amazing vehicle designed to communicate everything when we are out of line, to guide us back to the Love that we are, to help us evolve and build initimacy with our place in the stars then our body is the best and most beautiful design you could ever see. And definitely something worth appreciating and valuing everyday. Our body never lets us down in any way. Thank you Susan for what you share here.

145. It’s a beautiful thing when our focus turns to our energetic quality rather than our physical body shape.

146. I can relate to this, of growing up and emotionally eating and constantly thinking about food because I didn’t want to feel what was going on around me. I became obsessed with food and was severely overweight. Through the support of Universal Medicine I got to understand my relationship with food and emotional eating and my body has changed dramatically- I am now in a healthy weight range, more active and have more energy than I did in my 20s.

147. What is so clear, is that many of us concentrate with our issues on food, but do not look at the root of those issues, for it is not really about the food at all, it is about how we use it and why…

148. There is a great sense here in this piece about re-learning how to love yourself which it seems has come from first accepting who you are beyond the ideals, just simply you for you because you are glorious just as you are.

149. Building true love and acceptance with ourself and our body gives us a foundation for every other relationship that we have.

150. This is an important blog for all women to read as body image is both an obvious and unconscious driver of many insecurities and misbehaviours for women. How you describe the way you overcome this is very inspiring.

151. When I look back through my life I can see that there was very little encouragement from around me and in the media to accept my body as it is. In fact, it was exactly the opposite with adverts in magazines, on television etc exhorting me to change this, eat this, don’t eat that, in the hope of achieving the body I believed I should have. It has taken well into my 60’s to finally accept this beautiful body of mine, a body which I am now absolutely loving along with all its saggy bits and wrinkles, as they are a part of who I am.

152. Such a gorgeous blog Susan; what if this was the kind of article that magazines featured and put on the front page? Would we be seeing the same intense lack of self worth in women as we are today, or could the media inspire society to love their unique shape and personality?

153. The difference between trying to shoe horn our bodies into a certain shape based on the ever changing demands of the outside world and what society views as ‘perfect’ and beautiful and building respect, acceptance, appreciation and love for ourselves is too vast almost to comprehend. The former choice leaves us victims of the fickleness of an external framework; the latter is foundational, sustainable and enriching.

154. To appreciate the beautiful way that our body supports us, every one of us unique…. awesome Susan.

155. In our family food was the answer to everything so it is not surprising that I have used it in endless ways myself and still do sometimes….used it rather than honouring it, honouring my body and bringing more awareness to the true supporting, nurturing and nourishing elements of food as it’s main purpose in relationship to my body and me.

     1. As we begin the process of observing our relationship with food we make space to develop a deeper and more loving connection to our body and in the unfolding we begin to realise the impact of how we have been living.

156. When we find ourselves in a position where we need to fast (for a surgical procedure), it is quite the opportunity to see just how much we rely on food to fill the gaps of boredom, emotions, or distraction. This raises the question of, what are we not wanting to feel or deal with?

157. Our shape is unique to us and you have shown Susan how we can accept where we are with whatever is happening in our lives. Therefore no matter whatever shape we are, that is who we are..end of story.

158. It took me a long time to get out of the mainframe that I was not good-looking, or even further, that I was ugly. I let what ‘friends’ and peers tell me own my world and forgot what I knew was true – How beautiful I am 🙂

159. “There is nothing wrong with food when we keep its importance in perspective – we need food to sustain us in our human life – but it does not feel healthy or rational when it becomes the whole meaning of our life.” I have also been feeling this in relation to my food experiences and I can see how this ideal and belief is exacerbated with all the cooking programs on TV these days. Whereas dishes were kept simple and made fresh they are now glorified, complicated, designer presentations, that no-one really has time for that take all the fun out of simple preparation and planning.Our food experiences have become far too complicated and obsessive.

160. What is the ‘perfect body shape’ anyway? Interesting to ponder on this really when they are so many millions of people in the world all with a unique shape of thier own, and none of them identical!

161. When a diet starts with a goal image of ideal body shape and target weight, and not addressing the emotional issues behind the food choices and behaviour, it often can be a an arduous task of keeping to a diet as well as maintaining the new weight when or if achieved.

     1. Yes, a topsy turvy way to approach our relationship with our body – idealism enforced from the outside rather than respect, understanding and care developed from the inside. Would we choose to apply the former approach to a relationship with a dear friend?

162. I’ve learnt that it’s not my body that I dislike at times but actually the quality and way I move in and with my body that I don’t like, the energy I have allowed in. It’s like letting someone trash my house and shouting at the wallpaper for being torn. This is fully in my power to change by listening to how the body feels. But this gets delayed if I am blaming the superficial appearance of my body.

     1. Brilliantly described Leigh-I’ve shouted at the torn wallpaper before, very exhausting.

163. Accepting ourselves is indeed key for how we digest lives will be reflected in our eating habits.

164. There is so much more to weight and body shape than what we eat, and so much more behind what we eat than a calculation of calories or nutrition. It is a psychology that is different for every last one of us.

     1. For starters, so much more has to do with the quality of how we are before we actually stop to eat, if indeed we stop, not to mention the quality of our food.

        1. Absolutely Irena, I find my approach to food is very dependant on what’s been going on for me before I start preparing, let alone before I sit to eat.

165. ‘I was still eating quite regularly but I realised that the way I was living was not supporting my body. I held my body in constant tension and anxiety and so was burning off the calories at a higher rate than my intake. My metabolism was all over the place – and I felt powerless.’ A great point Susan , showing how harmful the ideal of ‘dieting’ is. It is not about being our true beautiful selves.

166. Our bodies are truly amazing; if we could only cherish it in the way it deserves, for all it does to support us.

     1. Yes Rebecca, how amazing our bodies are. I love how you say cherish, as I accept myself more, my qualities within, I realise the wonder my body is in how it supports and serves me.. and yes it deserves to be cherished.. deeply.

167. In truth, food is never our issue. It is what we live/move in the predefining moments of going for that food which we know does not work for us.

     1. Gentle observation and understanding of our behaviour before we go for the ‘fix-it’ foods awakens our awareness and offers opportunities for changing the root causes for the behaviours that we would like to relinquish.

168. It is indeed gorgeous to be able to truly appreciate your body for its own unique beauty, regardless of its shape or size. When there is an understanding that there is no need for perfection, but that there is the possibility of simply connecting to who we truly are and then living from this point, there is simply no room for perfection as everything is just as it should be.

     1. Yes Sandra we always have the choice to connect to who we truly are inside and start to appreciate we have the body we have for a purpose and that it is perfectly designed for us to express the truth of the love we are.

169. I spent much of my life aiming towards the “perfect” body. I never liked my body as I always had a picture of what was better. When I’d look at myself in the mirror I looked in comparison to this picture I had of an ideal body. Then one day I observed Natalie Benhayon and how she just loved being in her body. I realised it was her body. I had my body and I could choose how I was with my body. I opted for appreciation and to drop that unattainable picture – highly recommended!

     1. I love this comment Nikki, Natalie made a huge impression on me with the level of self acceptance she has for herself, and at the time I said to myself ‘I would love my girls to have her level of self love’ and now it has changed where I want that for myself also.

170. It is interesting how food can become our constant companion that never fails to provide comfort. So when we change the relationship we have with our bodies our relationship with food can change.

     1. That’s such a key point you make jennym. So often it is attempted the other way around, as in changing the relationship with food to change the body shape, weight etc. Our relationship with our body is the starting point for everything as in turn it reflects our relationships with everything else.

171. We know our survival is not based on food, at least in the short term. We can live physically without food for many days, but suggest to someone that they need to fast for a day and it is as if our right arm is about to be cut off. So what is going on here, and why is our very ability to function connected to food so tightly? Could it be we eat more for our emotional satisfaction than our physical needs?

172. In the summer I saw a woman wearing short shorts and she was quite large with a lot of cellulite. She felt amazing in that she was not self conscious in anyway and that was a very appealing and attractive quality. I found she inspired me to really accept my body and to wear what I want to regardless of shape etc. Really loving you as you are is so healing.

173. There is so much that we can learn from our body if we simply learn to listen… And our body knows exactly what shape it should be.

174. It is important that we connect to what our reflection is actually showing us, for what we see in the mirror is often the energy in which we live, if and when that shifts, we often will see something completely different in the mirror even though our physicality has not changed that dramatically.

175. I was talking to a woman yesterday and she described herself as an old crone! It slipped with ease out of her mouth. I was shocked and asked her not to talk about herself like that. She looked shocked! I told her how beautiful she is and she looked even more shocked. It’s interesting how so many of us fall into looking at ourselves in a derogatory way without thinking twice about it. We need to turn this around.

176. I have lost weight over the last few years, this has been a by product of altering life choices, ones that are much more supportive. I say a by product, because I did not set out to lose any weight. What I have noticed is it does not matter whether I am a size 16 or 6, it is how I feel about myself within that matters. The relationship with our inner-selves enables us to meet what we see in the mirror with clarity and love, if we are dismissive of ourselves it will not matter what size we are and we may get a warped picture of ourselves in that mirror if we do not hold ourselves in love. Nourishing our body is not about size, it is about relationship with what is require to support us through our daily physical life, what sustains us to live a full life.

177. I sense that when we stop seeking in life, we surrender to a natural state of being that is then reflected in our bodies and our movements.

178. Acceptance and appreciation of our bodies is the key, whatever the shape and this is conveyed through our movements. It is interesting when someone comes along who may not be great looking but everyone one knows how sassy and sexy they look, because of their movements.

179. It’s actually very absurd to think that there is a ‘perfect body’ to achieve. Especially as this is typically based on how a body looks rather than how a body feels.

180. How we feel within is what is ultimately what is reflected to others.

181. It is important to feel beautiful, this is just a natural part of being alive and of having a body – regardless of its shape or size – it is the way we move our bodies that determines how we feel about them.

182. I recently listened to an episode on Serge Benhayon TV on Domestic Violence and felt the impact of this through what is shared in this blog. Nothing less than loving the divine being we are is abuse.

183. What if we had our own natural body shape that is not linked to any ideal, picture that we conceive we should look like and that if we truly listen our body it will guide what foods support us in that shape.

184. ‘I listened to the advice of others and did not trust myself to know what would support me to change the deep dissatisfaction I had about myself.’ I know this one well Susan and had done it for most of my life, still do times, yet I only get the truth for me when I listen to my body for all the answers are within me, and from building a relationship and trust in my body the true support is there.

185. Taking the time to support our body lovingly brings confirmation of who we are and allows less space for the wanting of how we should be.

186. We have our uniquely beautiful, natural body shape… and then the shape that we can end up with not only from diet, but also the way we think and move.

187. It is incredible the behaviours that we can go into to avoid such a powerful and loving relationship with ourselves. When we start to bring the awareness of our bodies and how it feels then the focus starts to shift on not what we are eating and how delicious it is but how it actually feels in our body and is it supporting.

188. Everyday I marvel at the opportunities to deepen my respect, care and love for my body… turning around all the cruelty of wanting it to be something that it is not.

189. Susan I love re reading your sharing, it reminds me of the true importance of caring for our bodies. The wisdom of our bodies is incredible and all we need to do is listen and act on that wisdom.

190. Our perception of ourselves forms a massive part of how we view our body and hence what we eat and how we eat it. More self worth naturally guarantees a more healthy and loving relationship with our body. In this way it is more important that we focus on this when it comes to losing weight or improving our diet than on the food itself.

191. Susan you are a great inspiration for many others with what you have shared and how you have dealt with a lifetime of self loathing and low selfesteem, combating an image or ideal and belief to be a certain shape to be loved and accepted. Thank you for honest sharing.

192. No wonder so many of us develop unhealthy relationships with food, we really don’t stand a chance sometimes, when our lives from a young age revolve around food, when food is given as a treat, we are given food and made to eat even if we are not hungry or made to eat stuff we don’t feel to eat.

     1. This is so true, kevmchardy. I have vivid memories of refusing the huge plate of food offered and being shamed for it – thankfully my mother was never too pushy in that way (with me anyway), as she used to lose her appetite if the plate was too full. Food and our relationship with it is such a huge subject, and has us tied into knots second guessing ourselves.

193. Susan what you have shared, the path you are now taking is such great medicine, not just for yourselves but for all you touch during your days.

194. When we feel good about ourselves from our inner feelings and not have to have it confirmed from the outside world because what we feel is amazing, our body shape doesn’t even come into it because that feeling of wholeness inside is super strong and very confirming.

195. According to the media we should all be in the hunt of a perfect body. One that has the specific size, angles, textures, colour and arrangement. But what percentage of the world meets that criteria? I would imagine very few. So this hunt for a perfect body leaves the majority of the billions of people on the planet less than and unworthy. How is that for a ridiculous situation. Every human body deserves to be valued and loved by the being within.

196. How gorgeous, to be able to feel and deeply appreciate the true beauty of our bodies regardless of their size, age or shape. What an inspiration this blog is for anyone who has any doubts about how their body looks. By deepening the daily self care, gradually the doubt lessens until it no longer exists.

     1. It certainly is a beautiful way to heal our hurts in this way – a way that unfolds and deepens our relationship with ourselves.

197. It’s beautiful to read how as you’ve developed and deepened the love you hold for yourself and your body so too has your engagement with life and love and treasuring of others deepened.

198. This line is beautiful – about having an intimate and meaningful relationship with your body and I love how the detail of what this actually means can only truly be discovered through how you live with yourself, in your body which is the sum of the choices that you make on a daily basis to care for and nurture yourself.

199. This is really interesting as you are saying it is not what you were eating that was causing your body shape to change but the way you were living. ‘I was still eating quite regularly but I realised that the way I was living was not supporting my body.’ This completely blows all diets and fads right out the window! .. and it makes sense, it is not what we eat but how we live. There is much to ponder on here.

200. This is a big journey for a lot of women. I know personally I have spent so many years trying to change my body and make it better – and to the detriment of how I truly feel about myself. Even now I set myself up to eat something that makes me feel heavy, and use it as a reason to get the whip out. But in this, I am not taking responsibility for my body being a vessel of communication, and that my role is to not get in the way of that with pictures or thoughts about me.

201. The focus on the body beautiful of youth is purposely designed to take us away from the beauty of who we truly are. We can only know ourselves as the true beauty we are by reconnecting with our essence, the spark that is within each and everyone of us. This essence confirms our commonality and in that space we know that we are beautiful beyond measure, we are precious, glorious, wise, spunky and loveable. As you say Susan this has nothing to do with our shape.

202. Once we are able to live a lifestyle where we revert to our natural weight I found that I actually needed to connect to the love that is all around me (yes, really), in order not to lose too much weight.

203. Beautifully shared and incredibly valuable as it describes so well the bind that food can have (with our permission) and offers that we can choose to start to unravel to re-connect with the beauty we truly are.

204. Isn’t it interesting how we can look at our body and not like it. Our body belongs to us, and it is up to us how we treat it and therefore how we feel about it. If we make loving choices for it then our love for it can grow and therefore our love for ourselves can deepen.

205. I like the idea that when we look in the mirror we see what we think of ourselves. It is then up to us to determine how that will be. Much like any experience, it can be positive or negative dependent on our choices. You know when you see someone who you consider beautiful in who they are, self critiquing, just how much of a game we play with ourselves and how much it really does come down to owning the body we inhabit.

206. There is purpose to all we do in life and food is not excluded from this. When something is done with purpose we are supported in all it offers.

     1. Yes, knowing such a purpose makes dealing with food much easier.

        1. I agree Christoph. When the purpose comes first, the way we eat comes from that purpose and considers much more than just the taste in our mouths.

207. Susan, I just love this blog. Your honesty is so inspiring, particularly at a time where I seem to be going through a phase of feeling the impact in my body of what I am choosing / have chosen to ingest, both in terms of food, and emotions and consciousnesses. The challenge lies in understanding that the toxic nature of the choices I’m feeling so strongly is not who I am: this is not an exercise in self-loathing, but in feeling the innate beauty within me that shines forth regardless. Appreciating that will eventually lead to the renunciation of all that no longer supports.

208. As someone who has struggled with the opposite end of the weight spectrum I can say the dilemmas are identical – just as obsessive food thoughts probably dog those in circumstances or societies where there is a lack of food as much as they can dog those of us in societies where there is too much. It’s just different ends of the same continuum, and either way there’s a distortion.

209. Striving to attain some vision of a perfect body keeps us in a hostile relationship with our bodies and ourselves as we fail to measure up… this is vastly cruel and damaging. I love that we are talking about the transformative nature of first accepting, then appreciating and then falling in love with the way we are and how different this is for us, our relationships and everyone we interact with.

210. As an older woman myself, I am loving how it is possible to fully embrace and honour my own body in way that I have never done in my life until now. It really is something that is worth celebrating.

211. Food is just one part of our daily rhythm and a very small speck of what goes on in the world, but it’s actually quite impressive how as a society we’ve managed to make it SUCH an enormous part of our everyday – ‘we live to eat’. What are we missing however, or choosing not to see, from doing this?

212. Body image and comparison is such a fatal combination. When we look outside of ourselves and seek confirmation we are only ever getting something that is going to say that we are not enough. If we can’t accept and love ourselves for who we are then what ever someone else says about us be it positive or negative doesn’t really matter because ultimately what we are all seeking is inner strength and knowing that we are awesome.

213. I had a very real fear of not eating three meals a day, I had not grown up with any relationship with food as something to be loved and enjoyed, it was all about function. It is such a familiar way of being with food and myself it hasn’t really shifted that much but it will.

214. True beauty really does shine from the inside out.

215. Bringing more awareness to our relationship with food can help us to get more clarity and understanding on how we are in relationship with ourselves, our body, others and life and with this we have the opportunity to build a truer relationship that supports us in all areas of life.

216. Learning to appreciate and accept ourselves as we are is life changing, even if this is not yet lived in full but a road being travelled on the changes are significant and liberating.

     1. Yes Rachel and the more we accept and appreciate ourselves, our bodies restore to their natural weight and shape and we see the beauty that is and has always been there.

217. Developing and deepening a loving relationship with ourselves seems to be key to deconstructing unhealthy habits, ideals, behaviour patterns and beliefs.

     1. Yes I agree. True and lasting change occurs when we develop a relationship with ourselves that is respectful, kind and understanding… it is then that we are inspired to shift patterns and ill habits.

218. Our relationships with food our bodies our weight and loving ourselves for who we are carries an amazing complexity of thoughts beliefs and ideals. Where you are now Susan is so inspiring and your love and beauty shines glowingly and who we all are in our essence of love.

219. How incredible Susan, to have such a gorgeous relationship with your body at this stage of your life, in a way that you have not had before. And to also appreciate the enormously positive impact this can have on so many other aspects of life as well. Its very inspiring.

220. We are each perfectly and uniquely designed for a very specific purpose – what we can bring for the world.

     1. And if we override this in search of some perceived ideal way to look, we dismiss the clarity and simplicity of our purpose in life.

221. It is quite incredible how much we can compartmentalise our bodies and our lives for that matter – work is work, home life is just that, and social life is separate again… but it doesnt make sense because if we weren’t consistently in this there would be no work/home/social life, and we need all of our body to function harmoniously as a whole – so there has to be a one life with all of us.

222. You share here beautifully, Susan, how our relationship with our body affects everything in our life and that when we are in loving relationship with our body we are in loving relationship with ourselves, the world and hence the Universe.

223. The key point that is raised here is the seeking of perfection according to some external picture or ideal of what is right or best. In our comparison with others we set ourselves up for disappointment, elation and jealousy.

224. Such a beautiful realisation Susan thank you for sharing that now you can accept you body as beautiful the way it is. I am gradually coming to know and love my body so much more for the amazing vehicle of expression it truly is.

225. The more we seek to model ourselves from what we see outside of ourselves the further away we get from the true beauty we hold within.

226. What an incredible ‘U-turn’ you have made in developing into a loving relationship with your body, thank you for sharing … It is incredible how this development has a huge impact on our relationships and attitude to life.

227. Beauty is always seen through our connection to our inner heart. Criticizing and judging ourselves does not come from here but can only happen in disconnection.

     1. This is a quote of the day, Vicky… true beauty is always seen through our connection to our inner heart… thank you.

228. A lot of our ‘problems’, thoughts and criticisms run around, and around, and around in our head, but actually connecting with other people and sharing what’s going on can be the key to understanding why, and changing the way we think or better said what thoughts we allow in to our day.

229. We are here within the body that we are to reflect back to the world, the truth, and that is it was never about look, shape, size or outer beauty, but absolutely about the inner sacred essence within each and every one of us shining out so all can see and know, the outer world is not where it’s at.

230. This highlights how our self acceptance is an important part of our self care and that what we eat and how we eat all come together in supporting our bodies to express who we truly are in life.

231. There is so much to this sharing, my relationship with food has been ambivalent where I really don’t care about it, I remember someone telling me that reflected my relationship with my soul which was a big ouch but was totally true. When I am really connected then I actually really enjoy food and creating meals. When I am not connected I couldn’t care less what or how I eat.

232. As we go within and begin the process of deepening our relationship with ourselves, this in itself allows us a greater acceptance of ourselves, without the need for perfection or judgement, while also supporting us to let go of comparison and envy.

233. This reveals that body care is so much more than just shape. I can relate to this sharing and the years I have wasted criticising the physicality of my body without appreciating all that it brings. An absolute guide and marker for me.

     1. Yes, it feels awesome to have this marker and from this point be able to expand and build a relationship that is forever deepening.

234. Just the word ‘seeking’ provokes ideas and beliefs of how we should be. A never ending pouring in of images that we can select to keep us from feeling what is truly going on and that sooner or later the exhaustion feeds levels of doubt and despair. What is interesting to observe here is that the quality of living is greatly diminished and all aspect of our life are altered, in order, to tick the boxes.

235. It is certainly true for me that my anxiety about the food I choose to eat and its effects on my body counteract the nourishment I try to give myself and so I lose weight. Learning to feel what the body is showing and asking for brings a confidence, and so a release from the anxiety. Then follows appreciation, and feeling good about ourselves without any judgement, and we can expand and blossom.

236. So many women are preoccupied with their bodies, always thinking if they achieve their desired weight and size that life will be great, they obsess about what they eat and how much they exercise. What they are not being taught is that if they connect to and deepen into their beauty within, the outer will then take care of itself. So much simpler and more loving way to approach our body.

237. What if our healthiest weight was not found in the food we eat, but in the way we feel about ourselves, that stems from how we treat ourselves in thought and action. If only we could have a relationship with our bodies that dismissed the lies about needing to lose weight through a diet weight loss action plan, and instead embraced the needing to love ourselves first instead.

238. I have spent so much of my life covering myself up; dressing to hide my body when my weight started to go up and then doing the same when it went down too much and I felt too thin. I have finally realised that this was nothing at all to do with my weight but with the lack of love and relationship that I had with myself. I have now healed the relationship with myself and as a result I am now loving me and my body more deeply than I have ever done, or ever thought was possible.

239. There was a time when I hardly engaged with my body at all. I would wear clothes that would hide my shape, and even though some may say I had a good figure, I dont actually have much recall of what my figure was like. Fast forward to today, as a woman in her late fifties, I can honestly say that I love my body and have a relationship with it that I would never have imagined was possible, which is a result of learning to listen to and observe its messages to me, and then to act on them thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. In no way do I have a perfect body, and I am still learning to listen to the more subtle messages it sends me, but how I feel about my body and the relationship I have with it has completely changed.

240. Why is it that families are more likely to come together over food, alcohol, national holiday titles e.g. Christmas, Easter etc. than we do to celebrate love?

     1. A great question Susie W. I remember someone saying to me once that everyday can have the same level of care and attention and that it is insane and actually false to turn it on for one off events.

241. “There is nothing wrong with food when we keep its importance in perspective – we need food to sustain us in our human life – but it does not feel healthy or rational when it becomes the whole meaning of our life.” This makes me giggle, as l think to myself try telling this to my European family. I’ve struggled with this all my life and come to that same realisation.

242. It would be a non-winning situation seeking the perfect body because when ever you get to a point that you were wanting to get to as being perfect, there will always be something else that you think that needs to be better. Looking out and allowing the pictures of what we are told is perfect will only every create a situation where you are never happy. Looking within and connecting to the beauty within is far beyond any physical appearance.

243. It is through our commitment to the relationship within ourselves that allows us access to more awareness in life and with this comes a level of responsibility to reflect a true way to live to the world.

     1. How true this is Francisco … there certainly is a positive correlation between building the relationship with ourselves and the development of awareness – a very beautiful and evolutionary development.

244. It is amazing and beautiful how we are all uniquely built with different shapes, sizes and colours. All for the purpose of what we can bring to, and evolve with, in this life.

     1. This level of acceptance is profound and we need to see it this way on our planet of differences. Loving acceptance.

245. I suspect that if we went on the pursuit of the perfect body shape and that moment arrived, we would look for something else to go in the pursuit of. Maybe it is not about our body shape but the lack of self acceptance, and self worth that needs to be looked at.

246. It’s very easy to be unhappy with what we’ve got. If we are unhappy we are more likely to abuse ourselves, but this creates a perpetuating downward spiral as we then feel even worse about ourselves. Treating ourselves with love and making loving choices turns this around. As we feel the effects of these choices we actually feel great about ourselves, and our bodies start to reflect this.

247. Considering that we are all designed at the point of our creation to be a certain shape and size that is to be moving and living in a Universe where by everything matters including angles and shapes. Is it not then our responsibility to support ourselves to have a diet and to eat in a way that expresses our bodies in this way. Here we have true beauty indeed when it considers the all.

248. Rather than seeking the ‘perfect body shape’ (which is a complete illusion) I now accept my body shape as perfectly beautiful just the way it is! It is so freeing when we come to this place within ourselves and know that our true beauty lies within us all, and we are the only ones that can accept our true selves, knowing, we are truly beautiful through and through.

249. One small step to love your body each day is the most powerful start. It only takes a minute!

250. Yes, it could be pandemic, a belief that is enacted out consciously and unconsciously, and, probably an underlying component in many dis-eases such as anorexia, self harming, jealousy, self abusive behaviours to name a few.

251. Thank you Susan for a beautiful sharing and understanding of learning to love ourselves and the amazingness we are inside allowing this to shine out and be felt .Deeply touching and a gift for us all.

252. We all do have our own relationship with food, we use it exactly what we want to, and that is not always healthy if it is caught up in any way with emotions. It is essential we eat, our bodies require food, but how and why we eat is something that is worth looking at and pondering.

253. This is such a rich blog I have no doubt I’ll be returning to it on many an occasion. There’s no doubt about it, most of us have built incredibly complex relationships with food.

254. Once we accept who we are and deeply cherish our body, we naturally no longer judge or compare the size, shape and look of our body.

255. It is so true Susan, how we can listen to the good advice of others but doubt ourselves, I can relate to that pattern. But as I feel stronger on the inside and listen more, (and accept sometimes I’ll get it wrong) , it feels my beautiful body has the answer when I allow the message to come through. So whether it is about food choices, body shape or an decision we make, our own development on the inside is the key.

256. I wonder who actually decided what the perfect body type is? And why have so many of us bought into that belief, working hard and failing to achieve it?
     When we look around us we can see there is a beauty in the fact we are all different shapes and sizes and no way could just one shape fit all! To turn it all on its head and return to the truth that beauty is an emanation from within we realise we all carry that beauty, an essence that has never left us but waits patiently for us to return.

257. I am finding that the more I take care of and love my own body, the more others are willingly open to sharing thier appreciation of me and the intimate relationship me and my body have! It’s new territory for me, but I am learning to gracefully accept what comes my way, rather than dismissively brush off and disregard compliments as I would have done in the past, which is ultiamtely dishonouring of the other person and of myself.

258. Thank you Susan. In reading this article I can see how much energy we have to put in to rejecting our own bodies, and then how much work, or energy, we then have to put in to coming out of this way of being with ourselves.

259. The way and quality in which we eat, and what we eat is linked – one just feeds the other.

260. When we start to see and appreciate our true beauty comes from within many things shift in our life. We stop the punishment and blame that it’s the exterior that is causing the trouble and realise there is nothing we need to change but only live and share the beauty we already are.

261. “Rather than seeking the ‘perfect body shape’ (which is a complete illusion) I now accept my body shape as perfectly beautiful just the way it is!” . . . imagine how the world as we know it would fare if we all came to this? Whole industries build around body images would go burst!

262. Many times we go into comparison and listen to our mind’s list of shortcomings rather than to listen to our bodies constant communication and appreciating it’s innate wisdom.

263. It is incredibly inspiring to meet someone who is totally at ease in their own skin and it invites me to develop my relationship with myself to this point of acceptance and appreciation.

     1. This is so true Matilda, the reflection a person offers when they are truly claimed in their beauty is an incredible healing. If offers a moment to feel our own potential of what lies within.

264. Our relationship of food can be on a spectrum, on one end total obsession and the other no interest whatever. Either way we miss the point that food is there for nourishment not for emotional comfort or as a strict regime which dominates our lives.

265. To have the perfect body shape is so restrictive on our natural expression. We each have a unique expression to bring so how can there be a perfect shape. Thank you Susan for sharing your journey of acceptance and celebration of your unique and beautiful body.

266. ‘…food is used to numb, dull, stimulate and distract us…’ it would be so easy to replace the word food with others such as entertainment, work, drugs, alcohol, exercise etc. such is our pursuit of achieving these ends.

267. What I have found to be a truly supportive and an awareness building relationship back to food is using a food diary. It’s a way to connect and be honest about why or what we are feeling or reacting to when we go to eat. Otherwise as Susan says food becomes – “It became a focus for me and took over from any true connection with what life was truly all about.” The food diary will bring a reality to what is truly going on and why – an opening up to a true perception about life, you and relationship you have with others.

268. Seeking the perfect body shape can be a lonely expensive road to choose and mostly leads to dissatisfaction. Thank you for sharing your journey to finding your body perfectly beautiful Susan which has self love at its heart.

     1. A more effective, loving, respectful and life enhancing commitment: finding our body perfectly beautiful just as it is.

269. It’s interesting to observe our relationship with food when for what ever reason we cannot eat, whether that’s because we have to fast for a medical procedure, because we have been ill, or we may be travelling or working somewhere where food is limited. There is an opportunity offered to look more deeply at our relatioship with food, and it can be striking as to what is revealed. Eating is such an engrained habit for us, and certainly there are some foods that are very habit forming. What is so key here is to be open to looking at what is driving the habit, and then a willingness to address it.

270. I have had the experience of losing weight and not being happy, because my idea of beautiful was to be curvy. It took me two years to get used to and embrace my slimmer body shape. Recently I have put on a few pounds and now have issues with that. This just shows me that when I am fixated on my outward appearance, it’s a losing battle.

271. I like this it’s true – when we get so caught up in ourselves we do miss out on the playfulness, joy and fun to be had in life and with people.

272. I would say since the dawn of time we have all has issues with our body – but is it our body we are dissatisfied with or how we feel on the inside? I know for one when I feel amazing and connected to myself I have no body issues.

273. What a huge shift in your life, that you love your legs the way they are when you always wanted them to be different. This shows how much deeper you love and accept yourself the way you are.

274. Your description Susan of our relationship with food as a sentimental and emotional one is bang on the money. There would be very few humans on the planet who don’t have this kind of dynamic going on. And overall, we could say in general that half the planet worries about too much food, and the other not enough. There is so much room for distortion!

275. Awesome blog Susan, thank you – and one that very much mirrors my own experiences. I would add to the pool of reasons why we develop ill-relationships with food that carrying excess physical weight, having a greater physical presence, helped me feel less vulnerable in life generally, and as a woman in particular: less vulnerable in terms of all I could feel – and didn’t want to. It was very much a form of protection. Learning to accept what I feel and be OK with what feels to me like a kind of nakedness is my current task.

276. “Even as a young girl I felt this dissatisfaction and was aware that my body was pear shaped and I was always wishing that my legs would miraculously change – and this was an underlying preoccupation that was always running just beneath the surface” and when you think about it, the ‘surface’ that our thoughts and feelings are running under is our skin. How must it be for the health of our bodies to have negative thoughts and feelings running almost continually (as is the case for many) through our organs; it is literally like poisoning ourselves.

277. Thank you for sharing this Susan because it starts the conversation about our body shape not necessarily being dependent on what we eat but equally about what we consume and don’t consume. To explain this I have found that what I am ‘taking on’ in my life will very often affect how I feel on the inside and how I look on the outside. I never really understood it until I changed the focus from my diet to my way of living.

278. “Looking back on this stage of my life it was more about control, so that I could look a certain way, than really feeling into what would support my body. I listened to the advice of others and did not trust myself to know what would support me to change the deep dissatisfaction I had about myself” So many of us do this – trying to stay in control rather than allowing life to flow through us, and let life – and our bodies – unfold to their natural state. Much will depend on what energy we are aligned to – harming or healing. This will dictate our behavior and attitude. Control or trust?

279. If we are not loving our body and what its true purpose is, which is to embody and experss the light of the soul, we will be in denial of this truth. It is this energy that is then in our body, and all that it comes with, that we actually don’t like to see and feel.

280. If we treat our body well it will always feel beautiful.

281. The relationship people have with their body, particularly women, seems to pivot and be closely associated with their relationship with food. Food is something that we use in order to have some sort of control over our emotions, and what precedes this is our relationship we have with ourself. So in effect Self-Care and Self- Love are medicinal activities that we can do for ourselves.

     1. I love this johannebrown17. The fact that love and self-care are medicinal activities that we can do for ourselves makes a lot of sense.

     2. I love what you’ve shared Johanne, I also feel that self-care and self-love is medicine for most if not all food disorder illnesses.

282. Susan so many people can relate with this and this is still happening with children and young people now which shows that not much has changed over the years, in fact I would say it has got a lot worse! ‘When I look back on the first three or so years of my life, I can feel the connection to this awesome child that embraced life and had a sense of wonder and love that was joy-full and vivacious – and yet could not quite understand what was going on, as the world around me was not confirming this. I became disillusioned’. We have a responsibility to show there is a different way which means children and young people do not lose their connection with themselves or that sense of wonder or magic.

283. I spent my teenage years consumed with my body image. I was obsessed, so much so that when I look back all I remember is that and my lack of self worth. I felt trapped and buried and had no sense of my truth or my potential. Here was a gorgeous young woman bogged down. This is the state of many women and I’m sure men too, especially in their teenage years. Imagine what would be possible if it was not this way and their potential was being lived. Let’s support our young to come out of this trap which is so easy to fall into and one that society can often usher you into.

284. Food is a tricky one alright. I remember as a child and even more reinforced by society as an adult that you could not miss out on breakfast. It was the most important meal to set you up for the day.
     I never enjoyed breakfast but made myself eat it, often feeling not so great during the day as a result.

     In recent years I realised I didnt have to go with the supposed norm and began to listen to what my body had been trying to tell me all my life. I stopped having breakfast. The difference I feel is enormous. I have more energy, feel lighter and clearer in my mind, and I also think less about food, no longer looking for snacks before I even get to mid morning.

285. Most people have been fooled into believing that there is a “perfect shape and size body”. This then leads to all sorts of problems with our self worth. The more we live true to ourselves the more our body takes on the shape that we are meant to have and not some ideal we are trying to live up to.

286. Food, like many things in life, we can use it to support us or use it to abuse our body.

287. If only we could be like a child in their innocence and sweetness with our body image. How they are and the things they do are joyful to watch because it’s not laced with all of the hangups we adults have around how we look to others, so they can simply let their bodies be in a way that says, I’m beautiful just as I am, come play with me.

288. Reading your blog Susan and the comments that follow I am reminded of what an enormous topic food is and how our relationship with food is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

289. “It also feels like a way of living that is more than just about my body – it’s about beginning to live a life that is more encompassing of all and aware of all the little details that add up and support us to live life more in harmony with and acceptance of ourselves, life and the world around us.”
     I agree, Susan. My observation is that my movements and my thoughts have a strong impact on how my body feels.

290. Susan a great read on body image, and your line here: “Looking back on this stage of my life it was more about control, so that I could look a certain way, than really feeling into what would support my body” – yes I can relate to this….either control gripped by an image/ ideal picture, or instead the call and pull from the body that is naturally harmonious without any tugging or gripping whatsoever.

     1. Yes, that control is what holds us back yet that is such a hard construct to let go of – we are more aware of what needs to be done when we let go of trying to control our bodies and learn to listen to what we are feeling. Our body is a wonderful communicator, we simply need to build a relationship with listening to it!

291. Today I had a really interesting conversation with some girlfriends around body image – weight watching and the different perfect bodies in different cultures. We asked if it was possible to have a true weight for ourselves, to know when the way we are eating and living is true and is therefore being reflected truly in the shape and weight of our body, and then also the times when our body can be the greatest reflection of our choices to not be true, be it taking on energy and situations, not expressing or eating foods that affect us.

292. Feeling hungry has become something to be avoided at all cost and yet in my experience, when I do not eat at the first hunger pangs I feel, I feel lighter in myself and there’s an amazing feeling of space within me which is never there when I keep myself topped up with food or eat when I’m not really hungry.

293. You make a really interesting point about how anxiety can burn calories but not in a positive way. I have been a woman who was always looking to get a better body – but I fought with food because my relationship with myself was not strong and therefore food was the way to keep confirming I was less. But what I didn’t really consider is how our stress levels effect us, and how we can be anxious for no reason and lose weight in a bad way.

294. I can relate to this Rachel “I have been all ends of the spectrum with weight from too fat to too thin. No matter my weight or body shape, I was not healthy or happy” which goes to show food is not the issue.

295. “I became very aware that my relationship with food was not healthy and not supporting me to evolve.” I can relate to this, even though I eat what would be deemed as very healthy – it’s not a healthy or loving relationship I have with food.

296. I agree with you Susan, it matters not..”…what shape we are…” only the inner essence expressed and a loving relationship we have with ourselves is what truly matters.

297. I too have had a roller coast relationship with weight and what I have learnt is that when I am connected to my body and feeling my inner beauty then when I look in the mirror, I do not see a certain weight, I see my innate self and what ever weight I am is not what I see first, it is energy first.

298. As always, another timely reminder that self-love is always the foundation of our reconnection to our inner heart.

299. Susan, what a beautiful and honest sharing and one I can relate a lot. Actually, I imagine a lot of people can relate to that. Reading your blog gave me a fresher and inspiring perspective on the relationship between self acceptance and the way we perceive our bodies and our relationship with food.

300. The different shapes we go through in different decades of our lives are irrelevant, but what is relevant is how we have felt about ourselves. I can relate to always noticing the parts of the body I disliked Susan, nowadays I focus on the whole. We can definitely learn to accept ourselves for who we truly are.

301. It’s interesting as I thought I loved my body, and I read this blog the other day and was cool with it, but today, I didn’t want to read it, I distracted myself for a good 5 minutes because I knew what I was going to read would let me feel what I already know – I don’t love my body, I treat it like a functional machine.

302. What if I could look at my body and instead of seeing it though the veil and filter of what society tells us to look like, I could instead see it as it is, an amazing support that allows us to express all the aspects of our qualities that are so beautiful when expressed without reservation.

303. Amazing timing to be reading this. I went to an Esoteric Women Health presentation yesterday, where it was shared that we don’t actually have body image issues- yes a revelation indeed! What we don’t like to see and feel is the way we have been treating our bodies and the disregard of the precious being we are. From my own experience, this is what feels awful and what we don’t like to see in the mirror.

304. Beautifully said Susan: “There is nothing wrong with food when we keep its importance in perspective”. These are deeply wise words that have many layers of meaning to them.

305. “I listened to the advice of others and did not trust myself to know what would support me to change the deep dissatisfaction I had about myself.” – Advice can be a tricky one to discern if it is actually true for you or not. True ‘advice’ from self or another comes from them connecting deeply with your soul and speaking your own soul’s words to you. True advice is never directive, never imposing and always encompassing and understanding of you and where you are at.

306. Wow – Susan, this is an amazing and honest sharing of how you have learned to accept and love yourself in more ways than one. Something we can all be inspired by – thank you so much for taking the time to share this with us. There are so many people out there who need to be reading about these simple yet profound changes that you have embraced in your life, and to realise that we all have our challenges and backgrounds and experiences that might appear to be limiting, yet they are not insurmountable and that we can embrace a life that is far more tender and loving on all levels.

307. It’s the story of most women’s lives, living with a constant dislike of themselves, their body, hair and even personality. And every aspect of life encourages us in the pursuit of modification and change to be anything other than just how we are – what if the best version of ourselves is simply living from who we truly are, and from there knowing what is right for you.

308. Another thing to consider here is not just our body shape and size, but also our health. We put much unneeded pressure on our bodies to metabolise what we eat, imagine how healthy and vital our body can be when we fuel it with the fuel it requires, not foods that clog it up, put it into a false energy hits, or weigh it down.

309. In this article I can feel the tension of humanity. People everywhere are feeding their bodies with disregard of the body itself. To the degree we have high levels of obesity and eating disorders constantly escalating. But none of this will change until we choose again to love the body we live in, this article presents what is possible when we do.

310. When we are full and radiant, we love to feel our body. Yet, when we don’t feel this way, we tend to walk away from our body. At least this is what I did. Now I am learning that my body is my guide to both confirm me in the natural loving, spunky and caring man that I am. And equally so does my body expose where I am not living the natural man that I am. Not as a curse, but as an invitation to be more. Leaving the choice up to me.

     1. Great sharing Floris. Very interesting that sometimes when the body exposes any disharmony in the way we are living the feeling may be not so comfortable. Just recently I was a bit upset about some discomfort I was feeling and I reminded myself of exactly that – the body is our guide, our best friend and its messages are always there to support us. It changed completely how I approached how I was feeling.

311. Love this Susan, I can so relate to much of what you share – how much time do we waste wanting something we are not? So much energy is wasted and I do mean really wasted on wanting to look another way. Learning to love and accept our bodies for exactly the way they are is the most healing thing we can offer ourselves.

312. I would say that I don’t have an issue with any part of my body, but actually if I’m super honest I could feel not an ‘issue’ but in fact a ‘vague dissatisfaction’ about certain things. It comes from a judgement not on how the body should look, but how it should be feeling, ie how my hips should feel or my back or my eyesight… So although not the usual interpretation of ‘body issue’ it reveals a level of not accepting what is there to be embraced at any one point.

313. When I connected more to my soul and the way I would naturally want to live life, the relationship with food and how I view my body naturally changed. How we feel in our bodies, how they look and their appearance is also a lot to do with the energy we hold within and not as much as we think it has to do with food alone.

314. Amazing, thanks for highlighting that there is so much more to food than simply ‘eating to live’. Our relationship with food matters and that is in the way we shop, prepare , cook and eat food. Like you shared if we live our life in a state of anxiety then food will represent a form of comfort or a form of neglect – and won’t truly nourish or support us as it can and is designed to do.

     1. I agree Harrison – there is nothing more amazing than opening your fridge to see it full of food that supports you to make loving choices, and then cooking a super delicious meal that is nourishing and yet also really tasty.

        1. Yum, feeling full already when you open the fridge 🙂

315. “We each need to find our own unique and unfolding way where we begin to love ourselves and life and become more fully engaged and empowered, as it is certainly awesome when we begin to realise how truly precious and amazing we all are within beneath the surface, no matter what shape we are.” what a beautiful confirmation of the way we can be in relationship with ourselves, to appreciate and to embrace life in full regardless of how our body looks, it’s the quality of sparkle that shines through that is what is most beautiful.

     1. Absolutely, I loved the invitation to ‘find our own unique way’ – very inspiring.

316. Food is such an enormous topic for us all and I find that my own relationship with food is not static but an evolving one that requires me to pay attention to my body and let it have its say in what supports me for what feels great one day might not feel so great the next.

317. Food shops including petrol stations and some clothes shops certainly know we have a relationship with food as those ‘go to’ foods that so many of us choose when we want to dull or numb ourselves are highly visible and strategically placed to entice us.

318. Reading your blog Susan I am reminded that because we all require food to sustain our human body, we all have a relationship with food, whether we like it or not. The question is how loving is that relationship?

319. The title of this blog is enough to challenge many of us. We are so conditioned to be concerned with our outer appearance. And there is nothing wrong with this. It’s great to take care of our appearance, but we also need to take care of ourselves in a deeper way, so that our appearance reflects the joy and love that we are holding on the inside, rather than a cover up of the emptiness.

320. I wonder how many of us abandon ourselves to food because we are not supported in what we feel around us when we are so young. Food or anything else that can distract us from what we actually feel.

321. There is a lot here in your sharing Susan. I would say most of us could find a part of our own behaviour mirrored back to us to learn from.

322. Food has become a ‘consuming’ topic in so many ways… we are bombarded by its advertisements, prices of foods, latest diets, food shows, reality TV shows, … it has become a feast for the eyes wanting and looking for the next meal deal rather than nourishment for the body.

323. We definitely need more articles like this, that renounce the self degrading feelings that so often take hold, and give examples of women, and men, accepting themselves as we are. You don’t find many examples of this in media, which is why it is so important it is aired by us all, those who have experienced these changes.

     1. You could actually say that developing out of this is a miracle, if we understand that miracles are everyday changes that drop away ill behaviour. To let go of self loathing and to start to love oneself is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated.

324. I don’t remember a huge amount about my early days, just odd memories of being with grandparents and smells around our flat in Middlesex in the UK. I certainly don’t remember much about how I felt about the world although I do know I was always angry with the sister I shared a room with. At boarding school we had to eat everything on our plate no matter what, so I learned to eat at regular mealtimes and clear my plate. Now 60 years on, I still like to have regular mealtimes although I am leaning to listen to my body more and can sometimes eat when I feel to rather than because it is lunch time.

325. Being in love with who you are is the most precious thing, and when this love naturally extends out to the body that you have, there is pure harmony in motion, which is a love that spreads out to everyone.

326. This simply reminds me that through letting go and acceptance comes appreciation.

327. Would a child ever consider to question its body unless it is told or reflected otherwise? Without the ideals and pictures that make us compare and thus judge there would be nothing leading to the lack of acceptance of who we simply are. And so it is the exposure and letting go of the pictures we have taken on that set us free to once again be instead of trying to live up to what we cannot ever be.

328. The images fed to especially girls and women about their body looks are images that are not in one single way honouring and appreciating a woman’s natural beauty. To love and appreciate our physical body requires a connection to the inner beauty. True beauty emanates from the inside out. And as every woman and man is beautiful on the inside, we are all beautiful – the only thing that differs is the depth of connecting to the loveliness on the inside (or avoiding this at all costs).

329. We criticise ourselves a lot for how we look but love cuts through that. Love is fully aware of the shape of the body but that does not affect the love, either the love of that person or the love for that person.

330. It really goes to show that until we are at ease with ourselves and appreciative of who we are, that we will not be able to solve our issues with food because they are not the root issue it is just the vice we use to not feel the initial rejection of ourselves.

331. ‘I have always had an aversion to my legs and the other day I looked at them and felt how beautiful they were, no longer wishing to change them but appreciating them for the way they support me’ I love how you are embracing your legs here and no longer seeing them as separate from yourself, appreciating that they support you, that they have a purpose and are integral to your make up…and that they feel beautiful, as you are beautiful.

332. Looking in the mirror is the greatest reflection, literally. When I am contented with and connected to my body, I look in the mirror and that’s what I see. When I feel off or out of sorts, I look in the mirror and what i see ranges from indifference to disgust – my body doesn’t change but the energy I look at it with is everything

333. We often try to change ourselves in some way to meet the pictures of an ideal in our mind, but without appreciating ourselves for who we truly are these changes only serve to keep us further from experiencing the joy that is possible when we embrace ourselves in full.

334. “We each need to find our own unique and unfolding way” and this is totally enriching for us all, no one way is the same, we learn from one another’s uniqueness.

335. Food is a big theme for a lot of people. There are so many different diets around everyone suggesting to be the one to get slim or be healthy. Despite more and more people get ill and overweighted. What you share here to listen to the body first and not follow any picture, expectation, ideal or advice from the head, makes a lot of sense and can be playful to experience ones relationship to the body anew without judging it.

336. A beautifully honest acceptance of the way we are and the loving of ourselves ” it is certainly awesome when we begin to realise how truly precious and amazing we all are within beneath the surface, no matter what shape we are.” A real appreciation and support to share about ourselves and our food and body issues and the reality of our own innate beauty.

337. When you choose to be fully present and detailed with the quality and love that you are doing something with, you get to feel how absolutely complete you truly are, and how joyful it is to spend time with you/God.

338. We have so many beliefs and ideals around food, such as what is healthy, how much to eat and when to eat and what foods to eat with other foods. And yet we don’t really consider the quality that we eat in and eating to nourish ourselves.

339. It is useful to step back and observe our eating habits once in a while.
     Not that long ago I realised that as soon as I arrived at work I ‘felt hungry’ and this started as soon as I walked through the door. But on the days when I was not at work the pattern was different. When I noticed this, I had the opportunity to reflect on what feelings I might be wanting to dull or mask by eating, which revealed what I needed to attend to within myself as my next step in my relationship to my place of work.

340. I love how this blog looks at different ways we use food to suit ourselves and unresolved issues, though it may not appear so. I have found it takes awareness and honesty to really dig beneath the surface of what is going as it is easy to refine our choices and move to more healthy foods and appear to have a great diet. However there is much more at play to really get to the bottom of what and why we eat as we do as this sharing shows. thank you Susan.

341. Forcing our body to be a shape that isn’t it’s natural state is akin to telling it to shut up and not communicate with us – which, when you consider its extraordinary wisdom is a pretty foolish thing to do.

342. It is awful how we can get fixated on one situation or body part and convince ourselves that doing x,y and z will change and fix our lives to be perfect. My thing was losing weight and when I did reach my ideal weight I felt terrible and freaked out, and at that point I realised that I was using the weight as protection. And yes as you can imagine I went back to eating in order to not feel.
     After attending the Universal Medicine presentations I gave up all notions about dieting and after looking closely at my diet, the weight slowly came off without any trying.

343. When we make life about surface values we are very much at the whim of how we look and attempting to live up to ideals and images that are unattainable. Choosing instead to connect to our inner qualities and values, to bring these to the fore to be cherished and nurtured enables us to see through the transient images and appreciate that what really matters in the world is the quality of our presence. And then it becomes easy to love and cherish all of us not just a part.

344. A very cool insight into the way we can perceive and treat our bodies. One of my favourite lines in this article is about you seeing your legs as beautiful for the first time and the inspiration that this is to realise that we can change even the most ingrained beliefs and patterns. Thank you, Susan.

345. How wonderful would it be if we were all to accept our bodies as being ‘perfectly beautiful as they are’ from a young age! Imagine if there was no judgement of another, no expectation and no perfection, just a pure love for each other for who we are….if this were the case throughout the world, our lives would look and be very, very different to how they are today.

     1. Once we express and receive love, do we appreciate our body as it is?

346. When we are feeling full of life and full of joy there is no way that we are concerned with the way we look. We are only concerned with our looks when we are feeling down about ourselves. We then focus on a superficial level to lift us up. By focusing on our inner selves and taking loving care of our bodies we naturally feel joy and our bodies naturally respond. The energy we then radiate is felt and the focus is no longer on our body shape or size. And our body shape or size may change naturally in response to the loving care.

347. If we were to keep a diary of all the times we had thoughts about food, or preparing food, or when we would eat, I think we’d be surprised to find how much and how often we think of food.

348. It would be interesting to know if our body shape came as a result of our choices in our previous lives – certainly in my case my teeth grew crooked very early on – my mouth was too small for all the teeth in it. Was I born that way? I know that when I am angry I tighten my jaw and, as I’ve been angry most of my life, that’s a lot of jaw tightening, so it’s not surprising that my mouth grew small, but perhaps the propensity to be angry was a choice I’ve made in previous lives too. Just pondering…

349. Appreciation, and acceptance of who we are and how we are, go hand in hand – there can’t be one without the other.

350. We each have a unique part to play in the jigsaw of the universe – so our shape, size, colour, the way we express and move are all unique expressions… and without each unique piece of the puzzle the whole cannot be complete. So when we attempt to be our individual picture of how we think we should look it is like trying to put a square into a round hole – it is not true.

351. There’s probably something about our bodies that all of us have (or have had) an issue with – nobody’s perfect. Turning off that self critique radio and tuning into a little self appreciation is a worthwhile practice, as I can attest.

     1. A much better channel to be listening to!

352. Life is certainly awesome when we find our way to live what feels true for us. Letting go of all the pictures we hold about how life should be, or how we need to be or look is a huge work in progress, but so worth it – the more we let go, the less we are defined by anything outside of ourselves – and with that, comes much joy: a simple contentment knowing that we are living as who we really are.

353. “I had no idea how important my relationship with my body could be – or that in fact I could have an intimate and meaningful relationship with my body.” Me too Susan, in fact because our body is the key to so much more discovery and deepening, it is no wonder that this key is often quite deeply obscured behind ideals, beliefs and pictures to keep us away from the truth and joy you describe.

354. Susan I love the feeling of self acceptance that you share, which has opened up the path to self love, which has in turn opened up the way to Universal love. Expansion leads to expansion ad infinitum.

355. The perfect body shape IS an illusion. A hard one to accept because we are literally slammed with pictures and ideals daily…so to be able to wade through that to the other side and instead pour energy into developing our connection with ourselves is no mean feat.

356. Not accepting ourselves for who we are, the body we have etc is the main cause for desire and suffering; it is self-inflicted and it is part of our learning and healing to undo the non-acceptance but instead embracing all of us in full.

357. Regardless of shape and/or size I reckon we can always feel the level of vitality and confidence and spunkiness in someone – this is their true beauty which comes from the inside, so it is ridiculous really when you stop to think about it that we would even have some ideal body shape or size that is supposedly the ideal.

358. Feels to me like appreciation goes hand in hand with healthy eating. We must feel our own worth, our own loveliness and value within ourselves so that we are not trying to fill ourselves up to avoid the lack we feel inside.

     1. If our appreciation is at full power then our food choices will naturally be true. I have found this to be a much truer route to ‘healthy eating’.

359. The more we become at ease with ourselves, become kinder to ourselves, and more loving we are with ourselves it is amazing to watch all those old dislikes, or hates dissolve and change appreciation in its place.

360. “It has been a long journey to learn to support my body to become more healthy and alive – and to find a way of living that is slowly but surely bringing more joy and fun.” – it is amazing how much light, joy and fun we feel when we are living within our body. Appreciation, enjoying and being honest about what lives inside of my body have been of great support and importance. Once felt, we will never seek anything else, but that harmonious and joyous feeling inside.

361. Thank you for sharing this – so powerful and insightful and makes me appreciate that our bodies totally respond to how we treat them. And we always have a choice about how we can treat our bodies. It is always a journey for us to keep on responding to the body and what is next…

362. Our unhealthy relationship with food is a sign that there is something else going on behind the scenes, which we are dulling ourselves from feeling.

     1. This is cool. So it is not the food itself that is the issue? It is a symptom of something else? This insight invites me to consider things more deeply and honestly.

        1. So easy to blame the food. Which, when you think about it is laughable in its irresponsible bullet-dodging!

        2. It is true we make food the issue but this is the end result of something that is going on in our life that we don’t want to see or feel.

        3. Yes and when you share with others that we are carving a food – what is it that we are truly craving for instead?

363. ‘Looking back on this stage of my life it was more about control, so that I could look a certain way, than really feeling into what would support my body.’ The pictures we are fed, or the pictures we create, to try and fit in can be really rather insidious. Whilst we tell ourselves that our behaviours around all these are positive, they can be in no way supportive if they are coming from the head and not the body.

364. How beautiful and brave it is for you to share so intimately your experiences. I have never had an “eating disorder” but when I was younger I loathed my body, I swear I had body dysmorphic disorder, as I was seeing something completely different in the mirror to what was actually there. Thanks for the detail and growth you have generously shared, it makes a huge impact when we express like this.

365. Appreciating ones body is foundational in developing a loving relationship with ourselves, and hence with all others.

366. Expressing the joy we feel is food for the soul. It nourishes every cell in our body.

367. Everything is everything and so our body, our relationship with our body, all that we observe in our thoughts about our body offers us something to be understood. The more we are honest and live what is true then all around us including our body becomes all that we ever wanted.

368. I can feel how you are changing such old patterns and appreciating your body now Susan. I have had a similar roller coaster relationship with my body, wanting it thinner, flatter tummy and smaller calves. I was creaming my legs the other day and realised how I was loving feeling my shapely legs with an acceptance not previously felt.

369. How gorgeous Sue, that you have been able to accept and appreciate your body for the beauty it is. I have had a similar experience in the last few years having always wanted to cover up my body with big baggy clothes, really because I had no connection with it, to now loving how it feels to wear things that show off my curves! It is never too late to change the way we feel about ourselves.

370. I’ve become aware of mothers with small children, With some women there’s evidence of a clear decline in the way they care for themselves. Whereas their children dressed prettily are joyful, the mothers, some obese, are dressed any old way. I wonder what happened to the mother who was once that child and when the rot set it. There seems to be a lack of self awareness in the women and disconnection with their bodies. They seem to have given up when they’re still young women. What kind of role model, do they offer their children when they have abandoned themselves.

371. Every time I use food to distract me from what is truly going on I am taking myself away and delaying what is needed in that moment. I can only think of me and my needs instead of love and commitment to self and the all.

372. When you think about it it’s ridiculous to get caught up in how our body looks. What is most important is how we are and how we feel on the inside, and that will contribute to the look and feel of our body. To try to change it from the outside is futile and is purely cosmetic. True change starts from within and can be absolutely transformational in every way.

373. With all the ‘perfect’ photoshopped images we are bombarded with these days, the act of self-acceptance is ever more crucial. Whatever our physical appearance, we will only feel love, when we choose to love ourselves first.

374. ‘I held my body in constant tension and anxiety and so was burning off the calories at a higher rate than my intake’ – What IF our emotions, thoughts and behaviours had an affect this massive on our physical health… It would certainly transform how we see weight, illnesses and disease.

     1. What if our emotions and thoughts actually affected our body shape and size too – and the energy from them bloated us just the same as the way food can bloat us? It gives a completely different perspective on what we would once consider a harmless moment of anxiety or anger.

375. When we buy into the pictures the outside world is selling us, the till just rings up another sale of all sold out, but the shop never seems to run out of stock, and we just continue to invest in more. Beauty is only skin deep, is that not what they are selling? How can something that is only 16% of our body be more important than the rest of us? Seeing can be just an illusion, whereas feeling is amazing.

376. I ask myself, why loving myself sometimes is so difficult. My observation is that I give power away to the outside, to pictures or images. If I stay connected with me and live concerning the awareness I have, self love is simple.

377. This is also a blog the masses should read and understand. The images we are given of the perfect bodies cause so much harm in society with both men and women.

378. It is so true Susan, we need the entire focus off weight and body shape, and back onto who we are from within and the full and true expression of this in life. Connecting to this in ourselves is what restores the right and true impulses around food and diet, and allows the body to resume it’s more natural and normal shape and size.

379. A relationship with our body is vital if we are to have a relationship with our soul, as it is the body that en-houses the soul. The more love we allow in our body the more beautiful we feel.

380. Appreciating what we have and what we do with our body is so simple once we learn how to apply the self-loving techniques that are shared from every EPA accredited ‘Esoteric Practitioners’.

381. It’s the comparison energy we take on in how we think we ‘should’ look by comparing ourselves with all the body shape images we are exposed to as representing what the perfect body shape is, that then becomes an issue and is another way we use food to numb or comfort ourselves for not living up to these false images. When we shed these false images and let go of the need for identification by beginning to value, accept and appreciate our own unique qualities it becomes easy to change our eating patterns and conform to our natural body shape.

382. That is true. Much of beauty is in how and what we express as well as physical attributes.

383. It sounds trivial but when we find our body beautiful as it is it naturally changes shape if needed. Love makes a lot of things possible.

     1. Yes it does and not always in ways we assume it will or expect it to so great to let go of these and go with how we feel not necessarily how we or things look.

384. Beautiful process of acceptance and then to appreciating your body Susan.

385. Your quote ‘an ounce of work was worth a pound of pity’ feels so very icy cold and unforgiving; who has mentioned pity anyway? Who would want it? The utter lovelessness of the statement, in its callous obliteration of even the tiniest stirring of love, would crush any child that hasn’t learnt to hold strong against what is deemed normal.

386. Accepting ourselves as we are, bringing an honesty to where-ever we at with ourselves and with life, is the beginning of true change.

387. Gosh this struck me today – “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life.” – and I felt very clearly that this is where it all starts. We – as a human race – completely use and abuse food – we use it to bond when we are connected already, we use it as a consolation prize to the lack of love we chose not bring to the world, the list could go on and on and on. Fascinating read into one person’s relationship with food, with offerings for us all to consider.

388. I relate so much with what you’ve written. I am so appreciative of looking in the mirror the other day and seeing how beautiful my legs are – such a change from the hardness of perfection I demanded of myself previously. What has been super supportive in this is seeing other women regardless of their body shape accepting and cherishing their bodies, wearing shorts skirts and not hiding. I’ve given myself permission to accept myself more deeply because not doing so is such a torture!

389. Not appreciating myself a few years ago had the effect of losing weight until I was less than 70 kilos. Amazing how these kilos naturally came back when I made more self-loving and appreciating choices. Our body is indeed perfect as it is. It communicates exactly, meticulously what it needs and reveals forever the relationship we have with ourselves and others, including nature and an unseen Hierarchy.

390. It is amazing how the body transforms when the inner beauty is embraced and radiating; no longer is body shape an issue as the true natural beauty we all are is superseding physicality and more so the false pictures and ideals we hold.

391. Appreciation is the gateway to acceptance.

392. Our worst enemy is all the pictures of what we should be, how we should look and what we need to accomplish.

     1. Yup… ‘should’ definitely needs to be kicked into touch.

393. There is a sense of emptiness I have often felt within, in the vicinity of my stomach that for much of my life, I called ‘hunger’. Because I have called it hunger, I turned to food to remedy the situation. This apparently worked, because after eating, this feeling often dissipated for a time – so, it seemed to be confirmation that hunger was indeed the issue. In recent times I have questioned whether this is actually hunger and realised that it is in fact emptiness arising from a disconnection from my true innate self. When I eat, I numb the feelings – so it does have a short-term effect but it does not resolve the emptiness. To truly heal this emptiness it is necessary to reconnect to this innate beingness. My relationship with food has now transformed having realised this. It is not perfect and there is still much work/healing to do – but now I know I am on the right track.

394. It’s amazing and not in a good way of how we can focus on one part of our lives as holding the key to all of our future happiness, and feeling worthy. Often we are so blinkered that life seems to get thrown out of perspective and we lose our common sense to this – so it is not surprising that more and more we hear of men and women wanting plastic surgery and at a younger age, and from what I have read the surgeries are becoming more extreme.

395. It is quite strange really how we want to dissociate and separate a lot of what we do, for example what we eat, and not link it to the dissatisfaction we can have with our bodies. I am becoming aware they go together and it is not at all about the perfect shape at all, because no-one is perfect.

396. Models and magazines and TV really don’t help when it comes to body image – the media portray an ‘ideal’ picture that is totally false – we are all very different in our body shape, how we respond to situations and how we feel about ourselves, and the more we can develop our self worth the more easily we can avoid being swayed into believing these ideals.

397. The lack of appreciation and lovelessness about ourselves is like a curse that perpetuates itself until our awareness of it deepens and a choice then made, to step off this self-made merry-go-round cycle. Serge Benhayon’s presentations offer this possibility of self-appreciation, which then expands out to others and everything in our lives.

398. Susan, I love how you make it about the bigger picture, how we all have a responsibility to ourselves and to everyone in how we live; ‘it’s about beginning to live a life that is more encompassing of all and aware of all the little details that add up and support us to live life more in harmony with and acceptance of ourselves, life and the world around us.’

     1. Great point Rebecca, it’s not just about us about about all of us, when we make life considering the whole then things are much simpler and what we do and the care we take for ourselves really does matter.

399. We could, and some may well do, spend our entire lives seeking ways to change the shape of our bodies or the way we look, rather than accepting what we have and appreciating the fact we have the shape we have for a reason. Every part of our body holds an energetic imprint from past choices we have made, along with ideals and beliefs that we have taken on. But if we are willing to be open to seeing what these are and to truly heal them, the shape of our body can and does change, eventually coming back to its true form and beauty.

400. “Even as a young girl I felt this dissatisfaction and was aware that my body was pear shaped and I was always wishing that my legs would miraculously change” – I’ve certainly experienced these thoughts before, but what changed my attitude towards my body, was considering where these thoughts came from… Were they really mine? Or was I being fed them by outside influences, what I ‘thought’ others would judge me for, other sources etc.?

401. “to Finding My Body Perfectly Beautiful as it is”. I love to feel how this is, for you to come to be at one with yourself in order to enjoy and deeply appreciate your own body. Very special from where you used to be and most of society is in regards to seeking a body to fit some picture to make ourselves feel better.

402. Many children come into this world vibrant and full of life. What are we doing in our day care establishments and schools to dampen this beautiful energy? Us parents too. This is not to blame, as we didn’t know any different or better. But we have to wake up and realise the damage we are doing to our young ones and shake up a system that pours out de-energised people.

403. Wow I think so many can relate to how you felt about not having a perfect body and wanting to change it, what we forget is that the most important thing is actually how we feel, and if we take care of this aspect of our lives then we naturally begin to love our bodies exactly how they are, with all their marvels and imperfections.

     1. True, what I love about my body is that it’s perfect for me. It may not be perfect for anyone else, but it has everything I need to learn and evolve from – even down to it’s size and shape.

404. How have we gotten to the point where we are trying to live up to a picture we think the world requires us to be? Even twins have some small differences but every one of us is unique, all 7.5 billion of us, we are all one of a kind and amazing… why would we wish not to be ourselves?

405. Food, it is such a huge subject and something that we can never get away from for obvious reasons, so it is an amazing thing to give ourselves the chance to be totally honest about our relationship with it and the reasons why we over indulge or eat things that the body is screaming at us to stop.

     1. And I have realised that it takes a certain honesty and investigation to be clear about the difference between what we crave to eat and what our body calls for for support and real nourishment.

406. “At the time I had no conscious idea that I was using food as a comfort to dull down my senses and ignore everything that was taking place around me.” That is really an honest sharing Susan and I am wondering how many people are living in such a way. It needs a conscious decision to allow ourselves to feel what is taking place around us, otherwise we do not take the whole responsibility for our lives.

407. When we start to have a relationship with ourselves and hence our bodies, so much is opened up for us that before we were not aware of or didn’t have the understanding of, to move forward with.

408. I could relate to a lot of what you shared in this blog. It is a perfect confirmation for anyone who has body or food issues that there is a gentle, loving way to let of go of old patterns and return to the care-free way they were as kids.

409. I loved reading this Susan – thank you for sharing your experience with us. This feels pertinent to me and I am sure to so many others too. Our relationships with food are so important and yet so often for much of our lives we don’t truly understand them – or we prefer not.

410. My observation with myself is that pictures, ideals and beliefs are holding me imprisoned and endeavour judgement. However being connected to true love does not allow any judgement.

411. The incessant chase for perfection of outer appearances in our society is getting us nowhere – it is in fact the opposite of evolution.

412. I have really noticed these last few days while chatting to people in their office environment just how we constantly graze on food. There’s breakfast, followed shortly after by a tea or coffee break with a muffin or something, snacks such as crisps or chocolate in the office drawer to get us through to lunch time, then afternoon tea with biscuits or a sticky bun. We often pick up a little something on the way home from work and then we have supper. And I wonder has anyone stopped to consider the strain this is having on our digestive systems trying to cope with the amount of food we are eating?

     1. I know Mary, I see it all the time working in the super market how people come in for their coffee and cake and snacks. When I was young we never had snacks, saying it would spoil our tea, but now children are given snacks to pacify them at the check outs and this is setting a mark for the relationship the children have with food. Snacks are the fastest growing commodity I see in the store and they always accompany the main shopping. No wonder there are more digestive issues these days as we turn to snacks, even if they are deemed as healthy eating, food is now becoming the latest drug and quick fix.

413. The saying ‘things have gone pear shaped’ is such a curse to women especially – a term we can really let go of.

414. Mirrors can be our friend or our enemy – it is so easy to look and criticise ourselves, noticing anything out of place and feeling ugly, but when we look deeper and see the beautiful light in our eyes, feel the warmth of our body, then we can use mirrors to laugh out loud and celebrate all of who we are, not just a few parts.

415. I do not know of any person who has not had some kind of issue with food…and or their body image, as generally they go hand in hand.

416. I can so relate to seeking ‘the perfect body shape’… and yet I have always been slim and slight of build, so many may consider this to be their ‘perfect shape!’ The irony is that since I have come to love and appreciate my body more, my body has become the shape I always wanted it to be! It has always been that shape it was just that I hid it through all the emotional/mental tension contorting my body – letting that all go, my natural shape unfolded before my eyes.

417. There is such a negative focus on body image and body image ideals, and food becomes a big part of that negative self loathing cycle. I have also been deeply affected by it Susan and so I appreciate your wonderful and very honest sharing. Loving our body is a vital part of clearing the way to feel and love the being we are within. It’s a much healthier way to relate to ourselves when we focus on appreciating who we are as well as appreciating the body – which then can change our relationship to food.

418. Yes, there is a vast difference between ‘live to eat’… or … ‘eat to live.’

419. What if we could let go of all of our physical ideals and limitations we place on the body – what if we could simply see the body for the amazing, supportive and extraordinary vehicle it is – our legs carry us through life and allow us to express a quality through movement – what more do we need than this, and yet we dissect them down into their shape and size, colour and texture and compare them to what the measures outside of us tell us to look like, completely keeping us away from the potential of loving ourselves in full for who we are.

420. When we are living from a place that incorporates lack of self-worth or self-loathing it is easy then to self-abuse through whatever means. Like many people – I too used to abuse myself with food, and since I was slim didn’t really put myself under any pressure to change, thinking I was getting away with it. Like most people too, nonetheless, I would still find areas of my body to critique and judge. However, I didn’t realise that this manifested because of a deep-seated unease I had with myself and with life. Once I started to address this I naturally started to take better care of what I ate and how I took care of myself as the self-appreciation began to grow.

421. It is quite ironic Susan, that when we stop searching for the perfection from the pictures on the outside, we find what we have spent forever looking for, was already there on the inside but we were too blind to see it. When we can see the game and the fight that goes on, we know it is not true. There feels a really lovely acceptance of yourself now.

422. In truth, we do not dislike the shape of our body. We dislike the reflection that it brings of the way in which we live.

     1. This is so true Michael. It’s a warning sign that, if ignored, breeds self-hate, self-loathing, lack of confidence and a whole host of other conditions that are equally harming the body.

423. Once we have learnt to deal with unwanted weight gain we actually may need to learn not to have unwanted weight loss. Thankfully, that seems easier.

424. If we abuse ourselves with our thoughts, then it is easy to abuse ourselves with food. If we abuse ourselves with food it is easy to abuse ourselves with thoughts and we feed the negative cycle.

425. This is brilliant Susan, how many women are there living in comparison to what we are told is beautiful. I remember I would always buy magazines to take on holiday with me and compare myself to the airbrushed images that we see never being satisfied and wanting to change my shape. My relationship with my body is now completely different as I bring more awareness to how I connect and move with it on a daily basis.

426. This is really inspiring Susan. It’s so true that when we eat out of reaction, regardless of if we over-eat or under-eat, binge or choose to eat things that don’t agree with us, we will end up with a shape that doesn’t feel completely true for us. I would say one of the most crippling ideals and beliefs the media imposes on society is that all men and women should look similar, and that there are ‘traits’ of attractiveness because as you’ve shared we are all different and beautiful as a result of our uniqueness. Honouring this brings an enormous amount of confidence and joy to our relationship with our shape.

427. Yes Susan, we’re a nation obsessed by and surrounded by images of food: magazines, newspapers, TV, advertising, they’re everywhere. And like you at once my days were occupied, thinking about food and the next meal which took me away from the here and now. I haven’t completely conquered my relationship with food, have slips and revert to old patterns, but understand what’s happening when I do.

428. An incredible awakening Susan to feel and accept yourself as the beautiful woman you are.

429. Beautiful to feel your appreciation of your legs and how they support you Susan and how this is reflected in your changing relationship with your body and the way you sustain it. Food feels like such a loaded subject but only because we have used and misused it for all the reasons you have exposed and you prove that it is never too late to heal these issues and find joy and fulfilment in life.

430. It’s interesting that in how we see ourselves and feel ourselves to be can be as nourishing and supportive as the food choices we make.. or not.

     1. Beautiful Ruth, love this. Self appreciation nourishes the body naturally.

        1. Yes Kehinde.. and changes the way we see our body, I have found. Self appreciation is so important for us.

     2. This is very true Ruth. I find when I treat myself with loving care, patience and tenderness, it is the most nourishing ‘food’ I could feed myself. This is the nourishment our body really craves, knowing and honouring once again how gorgeous we are, as we did as kids.

431. Being obsessive about food is certainly not healthy yet this behaviour became a way of living for me too. I have used food to numb, comfort, reward, control and distract as means to avoid life yet this way of living is seen as the norm. We do not realise the impact our relationship with food has on the body. Unless we eat to support the body to evolve we are carrying an illness which if not dealt with leads to other complications within the body.

432. Great to consider here that rejecting our own bodies is in itself a dis-ease or illness.

     1. Umm. A very true observation, Andrew. I had not thought of it in that way and to do so changes one’s perspective in a way that gives the rejection of our body much greater significance and by doing so establish a foundation for far greater self-care and responsibility for one’s own healthcare.

433. Food and the eating of it has become such a commercial business that a true healthy and nourishing relationship with food has become increasingly misplaced and/or absent.

     1. Yes and the commercial part might have led to cheaper and cheaper ingredients masked by a better and better ability to manage flavours.

     2. Indeed Jonathan – the fish farming industry is but one grim example.

434. Susan there is both a deep sadness in me that comes up when I read your blog and then joy, a sadness not just at what you say but how many people in society are also like this, a sadness that what if my daughter feels the same yet at the same time a real joy of how you broke through that and the amazing reflection you show to the world today. The state of society can’t be that advanced when we have so many basic and fundamental issues such as abuse and hate of one’s own body.

435. Learning to listen to and honour our body rather than judging and comparing it to others and is such a liberation, bringing appreciation and love.

436. When we begin to refine what we eat based solely on how our bodies feel, it exposes just how much of our relationship to food is generally obsessive and abusive. In recent years I have observed how much cultural identification we have around food, how we use it to distract, medicate and numb our selves. This is a huge ideal to break down but essential to expose, as the quality of our health depends so much on what and why we choose to eat.

437. Your relationship with food is very relatable Susan. It is very familiar to me that life has – and still does some days – revolve around food. I observe this in others too where conversations are regularly based on what we have for lunch, or had for dinner – or indeed, what we can slip in, in between meals. Food can have a ‘drug like’ affect if we are not very aware.

438. There are not many people I know who at some point in their life have not had a body image issue. I know growing up people tend to be most self conscious trying to live up to all the ideals we see in magazines and on tv. I know for me though there is nothing sexier than a women in her full power – it is the look and depth of love in their eyes which shines forth; I almost do not notice their body shape as it pales into insignificance. We have been fed the illusion that it is how we look physically that matters most and so try to project that out; rather it is the depth of love we live with that truly does.

439. This really shows how our body does not need to change but how we feel within ourselves and our body, that is what makes the whole difference.

440. I look forward to the day when children are supported in the awesomeness that they are so we don’t have to go through so much to get back to who we are in the first place.

441. When we love and cherish our body we tend not to worry about our shape or size.

442. I grew up in a household where I realise now that the presentation of food at our daily meals was actually a statement of love. This was very confusing as some of the food that I was being presented with was making me very unwell, but I didn’t question why for many years to come. When I finally came to a place where I made the choice to remove these specific foods from my diet, my body responded in so many ways. And as a bonus the weight that I had piled on over the years began to be released, revealing a body that I am now loving, probably for the first time since I was a child.

443. This is an inspirational and informative sharing Susan . There are many of us who need to look deeper and see our bodies for what they truly represent. This is a great learning tool to be shared with the young especially, and may save many from making the same mistakes as we have.

444. Thank you Susan. I would never have considered that I had a problem with food but lately I have begun to see that I use food like a drug – both an upper and a downer, carefully altering my body chemistry in order to manage my emotions and reactions. This approach does not consider my overall wellbeing and I am beginning to see how harming it is.

     1. I know what you mean Leonne, it is amazing how much we can use food to get us to feel a certain way, or not feel something, or feel a sense of relief or satisfaction. The problem is the moment I find myself using food to do any of this I find the effects are far more long lasting then purely the time in my mouth as I find that even the next day or longer after I am suddenly more irritable and erratic. It is also important to make sure we fully nourish our bodies as well, as starving ourselves is not the answer either. We are all so different and live different lifestyles; we need to eat according to what our body requires to be at its optimal level so at any and all times we are ready to do whatever is required.

     2. This is a great point Leonne, that we can and do use food in these ways like a drug, as a way of controlling how much of ourselves we are willing to share with the rest of the world, or not. As you say, the changes are so subtle, yet significant enough to alter how we feel about ourselves which easily and quickly can become habitual.

445. Food has become a pastime, an obsession even and is no longer a way to nourish and sustain ourselves. It is more like food for food’s sake, no matter what – and that leads to all sorts of conditions and complications.

446. I definitely am on a developing relationship with food and my body, I have not got to a place where I see it as nurturing, it is all about function so that says a lot in itself. I know what is possible as I have experienced preparing a meal lovingly and really enjoying that process but it is not a daily occurrence and one which will signal some serious evolution!

     1. Love your honesty Vanessa,

447. Developing our relationship with and true acceptance of our body is so worthwhile – it underpins everything in our life and empowers us to let go of pictures that we may have held ourselves ransom to so to speak and instead frees us up to truly appreciate our body and who we already are.

     1. Which leaves us free to get on with and be in life unhampered by the torture of self denigration and disdain.

448. You highlight the body consciousness women seem to be ingrained in, in terms of dissatisfaction with their physical appearance. How many of us turn to food as a way of numbing, or as a way to control and manipulate our body shapes to change? Certainly, it’s time to appreciate the beauty ‘within’, so that the ‘without’ can shine no matter of its outward appearance!

449. Appreciation of ourselves, including our body is pivotal for our vitality. I am only recently starting to really let my whole body in. I always loved looking in my eyes, but didn’t pay a lot attention to the rest of my body. It is indeed very lovely to truly connect to my own body. Even though there are moments that I’m not in full appreciation of certain body parts.

450. Beautifull blog and truly lovely that you are appreciating and loving your body. It is also inspiring as reading this it came to my attention more how I dislike certain parts of my body, for instance if I put on a dress instead of lovely all of me I think my tummy is bigger than it should be!

451. Your blog reminds me Susan of how out of kilter and skewed our relationship with food is … yes we need food to nourish us, but we’ve make it something else entirely a distraction, a reward, for many their favourite drug of choice. I love how you describe your journey back to true care and nurture with yourself, your body and your food, deeply inspiring.

452. There is so much in this blog, the constant searching for the perfect body, the relationship with food, the ideals and beliefs we live under that affect our relationships with our body, or food and each other. There is so much to unravel and, as you so perfectly say, we will all do this in our own way to find the body that is there to support us in our life.

453. We each need to find our own unique and unfolding way where we begin to love ourselves and life and become more fully engaged and empowered, as it is certainly awesome when we begin to realise how truly precious and amazing we all are within beneath the surface, no matter what shape we are. This is so true Susan, we can have to most beautiful looking body on the outside, but if there is no love within this body, this will never be seen or felt and the constant reassurance will be sought. It is so beautiful to feel your own loving appreciation of who you are in essence over how the body looks.

454. This is a beautiful and insightful look at relationships with food. As you describe so clearly – it’s not the food itself that’s the issue it’s the unhealthy approach and use of food that sets us up for patterns through our life. More and more as I’m willing and choosing to appreciate myself from the inside out I am embracing all parts of the physical aspects of my body equally. No one part gets more loving attention or is disregarded than another no matter what I think I might see in the mirror.

455. I wonder how much of our day is taken up with simply not accepting ourselves for who we actually are in any moment. From my experience and from what I read in this article I can see that there is a lot of decisions and self talk that goes on mostly in judgement of ourselves. Sure we can say no one ever sees this but is that true, I mean if you are like that to yourself then surely it flows over into every other relationship. As is said and as the saying goes, “you are what you eat” and likewise you are what you say you are. We can critique ourselves and everything around us or we can at the very least balance this up with appreciating half of what you see. The only way you will truly get to look at anything is if you are willing to see every side.

     1. I enjoyed reading what you have shared here Ray Karam – “you are what you eat” and this is what we project to the world. Making the choice to over eat to dull, be racy or just to tune out is what we offer the world from that point on. I sometimes wonder whether food is the micro point to the macro level of responsibility we often run from.

        1. We are saying that no matter what the headline the way we view and feel about ourselves or what we do has an enormous impact on how we are. If you are never supported to feel things for yourself then you wouldn’t go to this as a part of your life. So if we look at what we have a focus on or what is around us as we grow up, then this is more often than not how we are. We are seeing more and more the direct relationship between how you are with yourself and how you view everything else. You could say the most important relationship you could have is the one with yourself, after that all else is just a reflection back to that.

     2. Great Ray, not just we are what we eat, but what we see, think, feel and discern too. How we view the world is shaped by our own view of ourself. The more we positively affirm ourself the more beautiful our world gets.

        1. This is so true and we are in the driving seat more then we currently think. It’s almost like these days we freak out if things are going too well, we are always waiting for or fearing the end. I remember this for me as well, don’t enjoy yourself too much because at some point it will end. It’s almost like we always have one eye on failure or similar. If you don’t think this is true maybe spend some time in a day just allowing yourself to listen how you speak to yourself. Don’t necessarily worry about what anyone else is saying just yet, just listen to yourself and see what the talk is like.

        2. The self talk is a big one Ray Karam, I notice how much difference it makes in life to be positive in how I feel about me. It changes what I feel I can do and makes me more likely to just go for it.

456. It is not so much reality that troubles us but the pictures we have of how it should look like. With reality we are well equipped to deal but living up to pictures, ideals and beliefs is a vain endeavour.

457. I used to dislike/hate certain body parts as well. Sadly this appears to be normal. With the support of Universal Medicine I started to see that it’s how I am with my body I disliked rather than the body itself. If someone drove my car badly I’d correct the driver, not correct or berate the car.

     1. As you say Jane, we live in a world where most of us are at war with our bodies…in intense dislike. We consider this so normal that it’s not something we balk at. Yet, what if, as you say it is normal to love and nurture our bodies, we would certainly have a new marker, a new way of living and a new way of being at-ease with ourselves.

458. This is a lovely read Susan and it exposes the many reasons of how and why we eat. Our relationship with food and our bodies is a constant unfolding until we get to an understanding that it is absolutely nothing to do with what we think is on the outside, but it is all to do with how we feel on the inside.

459. Our relationship with food is a great reflection for how we feel about ourselves and what is going on internally. If we need a pointer to the truth, then food is a great marker.

460. It is such a trap to reward ourselves with food for driving our bodies in nervous tension, and yet it makes sense when it dulls, numbs and stimulates us to point where we do not feel what we are doing to ourselves.

461. The shape of my body has caused me so much angst and worry over the years; either too big, or too small, or not the right shape. It’s great to hear that you have come to love your legs and your body. When people are at ease with their body shapes, others can definitely feel it, and it does not depend on size, weight or shape.

462. A great sharing Susan and a discussion much needed – if we are truly honest, is there anyone that has never had an issue with their body’s shape, looks, capacity etc. etc.?

463. There is much to discuss when it comes to our relationship with food and you have covered a lot in this blog Susan. You are so right that it can take up a lot of our thoughts and time, eg planning meals, food shopping, cooking food, eating, plus of course all the shops that are available that offer food 24-7.

464. As you correctly say: “we need food to sustain us in our human life” but how many of us eat to sustain and nourish our bodies and how many eat for every other reason?

465. Food for me used to be a great numbing device and still is to a certain extent but now I can add awareness to the mix – when I crave carbohydrates I know I’m exhausted and thinking in the old way that I need sugar to pep me up, but I notice that I feel even more tired afterwards – the old lift you up and drop you deeper effect of eating sugary foods.

466. So much of what has been written I can relate to and I am sure there will be many others. The part in particular with regards to focussing on one body part and then thinking life will be perfect if that body part looked a certain way – you can see how people can go on to get fixated with getting plastic surgery done and then find it hard to stop.

467. Thank you Susan. This blog is very relatable and I appreciate your honesty very much.

468. Absolutely beautiful blog Susan. Thank you! What you have shared is so very much needed because so many people strive for a perfect body that is unrealistic based on a false image that feeds us the idea that we are not enough. Yet the truth as you have presented is that we are all already perfectly beautiful just the was we are, no matter what shape, size or skin colour.

469. Reading your blog I would say we almost all have an eating disorder, just calling the extremes like anorexia and bulimia eating disorders takes away the intensity you talk about Susan, when our life revolves around food, thinking about the next meal and when that will be. This is also not our natural way to be.

470. Isn’t it interesting when we cannot have something for good reason like having to fast for your medical procedure Sue, how we are given an opportunity to look at how our relationship with food really is, as in this case. We can then either choose to see it as something to observe and gain a deeper understanding of and consequently change our eating habits to support the body more, or we can simply ignore it and just begrudge the fact that we cannot have what we want when we want and most likely go back to our old habits as soon as we can.

471. Eating disorders are huge and rife across the world, equally for men and women. It also affects many children both girls and boys growing up. This can often be seen as a form of control. Many of the ways in which we eat can be seen as an eating disorder – from counting calories, to different diets, and weight loss programs – not only the extreme cases of anorexia or bulimia.

472. Thank you Susan, you have certainly opened up a very important topic as the way we abuse our selves with food and the many disorders that prevail are a clear indication that our relationship with our bodies is in a dire state. I can appreciate so much of what you say about disliking your body and wanting it to fit a perfect picture, I too struggled for many years with body image and the ideal picture. However, receiving Esoteric Healing, Chakra-puncture and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has empowered me to turn this around, to build a healthy and loving relationship with my body and with food. Today I cherish my body for what it is and no longer want it to be any other way, just appreciate it deeply and thank God for the vitality and wellness that has arisen as a consequence.

473. It is crazy. We’re given divinely beautiful bodies and yet the majority of people, reject, loathe or disregard their bodies. A news report yesterday said rates of bulimia and anorexia amongst young men has doubled. Young men interviewed talked about what led to them to self harm, most said they were unhappy about how they looked in comparison to what they saw outside: other people and in the media. When they looked in the mirror they didn’t like what they saw and this has led some to commit suicide. One actor spoke about becoming bulimic before film auditions to get his body into shape! There is no perfect shape. What is important is appreciation of who we are on the inside and out.

474. Most of my life I just took my body for granted. However, for the last 10 years with my involvement with Universal Medicine and becoming appreciative of the body intelligence so my attention to my body has changed. Although I always thought the body and how it functioned was amazing I still used to think that the mind was superior. How untrue I have come to realise that was and with that how abusive I was to my body and myself – the drugs, over-eating, the inappropriate foods, lack of exercise and proper sleep. Since learning to honour and care for my body so I am caring for myself and in doing so my whole wellbeing in every way is now constantly improving.

475. Loving ourselves is key and then, through making different lifestyle choices; eating better, taking more exercise and sleeping better etc, it is possible for our body shape to change without any trying. But accepting and appreciating who we are is the first step; changing from the inside out.

476. Our unhealthy relationship with food starts from very young. I’ve recently observed how common it is for parents to console, quiet and still a child by offering them sweets. Standing outside a school classroom to collect a friend’s child, I noted that almost every child was given something to eat. It seems we don’t know how to be with space on the inside or in life and constantly rush to fill it with distractions or food.

477. There is no such thing as a perfect body shape, which as you say is a ‘complete illusion.’ Knowing who we are on the inside, the amazing human beings we truly are, is far more important. Yet so many seek to improve their body shape with cosmetic surgery etc. but are they any happier in themselves I wonder?

478. It seems to me that the more people I talk to there is a common thread that we are not taught the fundamentals of life that will support us as we grow up. As a society we seem so caught up obtaining a good education at the expense of what is going on with our bodies.

479. The link between emotion and food is so strong for me, I really got to feel how much of my life I waste thinking about food, and using it to temper my feelings and manage challenging situations. I have come to realise we need much less food than we commonly think, and that thoughts are much clearer when food is kept to the necessity and not indulged in.

480. Weight or shape was never my issue but my height was; I always wanted to be taller and I knew that I could never really do anything about this and as I was able to eat everything and not put on weight, food for me was never really an issue. Interestingly though, since I have become more accepting of myself and who I am, I have recently begun to make food an issue where it never was before.

481. ‘I had no conscious idea that I was using food as a comfort to dull down my senses and ignore everything that was taking place around me.’ I can certainly relate to this. I used to eat chocolate and sugar like no tomorrow. I simply dismissed it as having a sweet tooth. It did not occur to me that this was really self-medication to numb what I was feeling.

482. Thank you Susan, this is such a generous piece of writing because everything that you offer with all of your experience is truly inspiring and I relate on every level to what you sharing; so beautifully expressed.

483. I grew up on the edge of suburbia where a block away from my house was woods. The nearest corner shop was three miles away. A treat was popcorn or rice crispy bars. Most of my life I looked underweight, contentment fixed that problem. I never had the perfect body picture, it was built for comfort, not sport and I could live with that. At some point, life became a job, something we may not have liked but had to do it never the less. The numbing of all things you have mentioned Susan was the new way of life. When we come back to feel what our bodies are telling us, our true shape of who we are, is expressed.

484. I have a pretty good relationship with my body – I do look after it and make sure that there is an equal support… my looking after it with regular exercise, stretching, the right food etc., and it looking after me when it comes time for physical work, heavy lifting or standing on my feet all day. At the same time there is always more to learn. I do still have this sense of invincibility which can from time to time mean I dishonour what I know to be true, override and totally compromise myself, and end up doing significant damage… definitely one to work on.

485. It is so great to break out of firstly, life revolving around food and secondly re-learning to love the body we have rather than wanting a body type that we see in magazines. Our relationship with food and our bodies both evolve as we do.

486. When we interpret an empty feeling in our body as hunger we distract ourselves with food, and more food, when the emptiness we are feeling can be a hunger for true love.

487. The ideal of having a certain body shape I know to be very disturbing in me, not allowing the shape my body naturally wants to be to emerge. There are so many pictures available to choose from as being your ideal but if we become aware of the fact that these images are there because of our uneasiness to be in our bodies and that we use the images to take us away from who we truly are and to let our bodies shape the way they belong, we can take an action and make different choices from that point on, as Susan in this blog so beautifully describes.

488. I could relate to all you have shared here Susan. I used bulimia to perfect my ideal body and to avoid at all costs feeling the tension and anxiety. Like having a break from technology to notice how much we rely on it… I also had to fast for a procedure years ago that was so exposing. I realised how much of my day I waste on either eating or thinking about food. It was incredible having space to focus on other things that were important. I also realised how not hungry I am a lot of the day.

489. What you’ve shared here Susan is vitally important in addressing this great travesty in which we live. It is for us all to develop and deepen our relationship with our own bodies, to be one that speaks of the loving potential we each hold in this regard. This can only truly begin, when we acknowledge the truth of the being within – our essence: untainted, pure and beautiful eternally…
     Dare we reacquaint ourselves with our essential nature and go there? Embrace the true beauty within, and learn to discard all that which we have donned that limits us so?

490. I am ever-gobsmacked, that we live in a society that would not hold and cherish us for the natural beauty we each hold – and that would allow a child, man or woman of any age to feel lesser due to their body and features.
     Seriously… we are so utterly off-kilter…

491. Seriously, the energy we spend on making life complicated and being self-critical, if we could use the same energy to appreciate and truly adore ourselves, would not everything be more simple and awesome? Once we choose to truly accept our value and worth, the deep love and connection we start to feel with our own bodies would no longer allow us to sustain our ignorance and waywardness, but the feeling of love this is far more amazing than anything else, and it keeps sustaining us to go deeper.

492. Reading your blog Susan I was reminded of times in my childhood when I would sit across a mirror desperately and try to stretch my legs to make them longer – like in the movies, the glossy magazines and the airbrushed pictures that would abound and dictate to me how my body ought to be.
     To claim our body back for ourselves is to free ourselves from the stranglehold of a very damaging lie that we ourselves have set up. In the abandonment of our connection to our inner beauty, we have sought from outside of us. The airbrushed pictures of the body beautiful that pervade today, feed the gaping hole with all the insecurity and self-loathing we circulate around ourselves.
     Deeply nurture and cherish the body that you have – tend to it like you would a baby, and watch those thoughts come up and call them for the ridiculous lies they are one by one. Then, your body, tender, beautiful and precious as it has always been, is your own.

493. When I think back on my life, I have lived much of it with disgust, disregard and discontent when it comes to my body. Recently though I literally love it. The difference in how it has adjusted and changed, become more full and vibrant is very real. Nothing before love has brought such an ease with my body and the vitality I now feel.

494. It’s powerful what you offer here Susan about ‘consolation’. Just the fact that we seek this shows us something crucial is missing in our life. I can remember being very young and feeling easy and fluid in my body – and it seemed like this was as natural as the sun shining in the sky. Today I can see how gradually I have let dysfunction and critique creep in to the point I settle for pain, discomfort and illness as my ‘normal’. My body is not punishing me but calling me back to nurture and enjoy myself again.

     1. How quickly do we feel punished by our bodies for the uneasiness and pain instead of recognise that our body wants to say something to us about our way of living, what we eat, how we walk, move and think and so on.

495. We may often ignore what our body says, but our body hears every single word we utter to ourselves. How much of an impact those many ‘I wish…’ would have had upon my body I wonder.

     1. Great point Fumiyo we may try to ignore and not listen to our body but our body hears and responds to everything. If we continue to not listen, eventually our body has to speak louder and louder until we have no choice but to hear if not listen!

496. Great blog Susan, I really enjoyed reading about your experience and how you have been able to reclaim your body and your inherent beauty. This is such an important point:

     “I was offered food by way of consolation for the lack of love that I knew was a natural way of life.”

     It draws our attention to the biting emptiness we all feel when we do not live true to the love that we are and thus in this seemingly depleted state we seek food, behaviours and beliefs that will ‘fill us up’ so that the true depth of our ache of separation is never truly felt.

497. The absolute truth is that our shapes from within are all the same, none of us have a shape that separates us from another. When we come from within the shape we are is a reflection of each other and the love we are. The moment we start to ‘take on’ shape from outside of us and usually that is beliefs, ideals and pictures imposed by society, our family etc., the outside shape changes and this is what we judge ourselves according to – and it is not the truth. This blog exposes the choices that we make and how the relationships around us can ‘literally’ change the shape we are through the use of food and hide under these layers what is true – thank you Susan for this blog and its honesty.

498. I used to spend most of my day thinking about what I was going to eat next. I can’t honestly say I have completely healed my relationship with food but what I now understand is my relationship with food and eating is a reflection of my relationship with myself, so it is a marker for me on any one day of where I’m at with me.

     1. I wonder if it’s possible to completely heal a relationship with food? It feels to me that it’s a lifelong friend that is constantly reflecting, informing, making me feel what is going on for me that day. It’s a rich source of information on how I’m actually doing… tired, a bit down, overexcited, constant and true…. they all have different ‘dietary requirements’ that act as a signal if I’m willing to be a bit more honest with myself.

     2. Our relationship with food is a great reflection of the quality we are living in. I know that if I am letting life get on top of me then the first thing I do is go to food to numb what I do not want to feel. I agree, it’s a great reflection of how I have been living and where I am at with me.

499. An inspiring read Susan. This sentence confirms that comparison, jealousy or copying another’s behaviour is not supportive of our evolution.
     “We each need to find our own unique and unfolding way where we begin to love ourselves and life and become more fully engaged and empowered…..”

500. I have been all ends of the spectrum with weight from too fat to to thin. No matter my weight of body shape I was not healthy or happy. It was only through paying more attention to how I felt after eating certain foods and drinks that things started to change. Cutting out alcohol, then gluten made a huge difference to my health and my weight which seemed to naturally stabilise and even though my shape can change my weight seems to stay the same. From here I started being more aware of why I was choosing or craving certain foods – there was a pattern linked to my moods or emotions. This insight allowed me to address the emotional needs and thus the foods that I was using to not feel these or heighten them dropped away. In return my health and vitality improved, I had more energy and needed less coffee and sugar to see me through the day. Listening to my body and being honest about why I was choosing certain foods has allowed my body to become more of its real shape and my weight to remain steady. The best side of this is it wasn’t a diet or a restriction of calories I just stopped eating things that stopped me feeling great as feeling good in my body became more important that stimulating my taste buds.

     1. Rachel I agree with what you say here “The best side of this is it wasn’t a diet or a restriction of calories I just stopped eating things that stopped me feeling great as feeling good in my body became more important than stimulating my taste buds.” It does come down to how we feel after we eat, when that becomes the main purpose then the food just drops off.

501. This is truly a beautiful place literally you have come to with yourself Susan, and I can relate to not liking parts of my body in the past. When we start to feel the truth of our bodies and build an appreciation of it, every move we make is a confirmation and loving ripple that we and others get to feel.

502. I too have had issues with my looks and physique. It has been a joyous series of moments that I have chosen to see my beauty and appreciate what I have been gifted.

503. Thank you for sharing Susan. Imagine if we women had used all the energy we have used focusing on the negative aspects of our bodies on actually tuning into and listening to our bodies . . . where would the world be today with women standing in their full power. Images and ideals about the perfect body are constantly getting fed to us so as to take us off course from our sacredness. It is time to turn this around!

     1. Yes Kathleen! The amount of energy and time wasted on obsessing about the perfect body shape and how to get it, is massive. The world would not be in the state it is now if women stopped and felt the true purpose of being a woman and what it is that they reflect and hold within that is to be shared.

504. Food is a common vice for many people, as are body image issues. I love that you sought support and that along with your willingness to address and heal your perceptions and behaviours, you have learnt to love your body and ultimately change the dislike you viewed yourself with to now be able to see and accept your own beauty like never before. A remarkable transformation that required no physical alterations… amazing.

505. It’s appalling how many of us are dissatisfied with our body shape. And we will go to so many lengths to try to change it. The focus is on the outside and how we look rather than on the inside and how we feel. Is it really more important how others see us rather than taking care of how we feel on the inside? We really do have things back to front

     1. Yes totally, it makes sense that if we feel lovely on the inside we are going to radiate this loveliness on the outside and that is the loveliness that we will feel. Unfortunately, the message given even to very young children is that they are not OK just the way they are.

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