by Anna Karam, Goonellabah, Australia
I am a 35 year old woman. I am also a loving wife, mother of three gorgeous children, owner of a successful small business (successful by definition here being a joy to work in) and casual checkout operator at my local supermarket. I’m sorry, did I forget to mention here that I am also amazing! It’s true – I love my life, I love myself, my family (in this I include many) and I love people. But life for me hasn’t always been like this. In fact, up until a few years ago I had suffered from Bulimia Nervosa, a psychological disease which began in my early teens.
For those of you who don’t know, Bulimia is medically defined as an characterised by binge eating and purging, or consuming a large amount of food in a short amount of time followed by an attempt to rid oneself of the food consumed (purging), typically by vomiting, taking a laxative or diuretic and/or excessive exercise. But for me this definition doesn’t give a true understanding of the absolute physical and mental torture and self abuse that make up this disease.
In my experience Bulimia has always been one of those ills that people don’t really want to speak of. Not unless it is happening with themselves or someone close to them. It is one of those taboo subjects you simply don’t touch! It even has medical professionals baffled. I feel this has contributed to why so many young men and women (including myself) are able to hide this disease so easily from the outside world, whilst secretly living behind closed doors with so much pain and torment.
For me Bulimia looked like this. I would wake in the morning and the first thing I would think about was food, how much was I going to eat today, how much exercise would I need to do to counter this, and would I find myself bingeing and having to take a trip to the toilet to bring up all the food I had so fervently shoved down in an attempt to numb myself out or sabotage when I was actually feeling good.The latter would happen more often than not. I would then go to bed feeling ashamed, my body hurt, and my mind was already in the torment of what tomorrow would bring.
At times when I was living with others, I would find this difficult, to hide the bingeing, the empty wrappers, the cereal boxes that went down so quickly, the ice-cream that never lasted. I figured out which foods were easier to bring up so as to be not so hard on my throat, cause swelling around the glands in my neck, or dilate my pupils, whatever was needed to not get found out, it was all highly orchestrated. Learning how to bring food up quietly became an art. Aside from all the physical damage, there was the constant shame and guilt that was inescapable, and deeper than this was the enormous sadness in the knowing that it was I who was doing this to myself. This disease was nothing short of a prison. A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.
When I was 31 I was introduced to Universal Medicine. I listened to Serge Benhayon speak about self love, honesty, responsibility and choices. Each of these words resonated so deeply with me, and so I made the choice to explore this for myself. I also started attending presentations on Women’s Health by Natalie Benhayon, which inspired me in so many ways to connect more deeply with myself as a woman first and foremost.
I feel it is important to say here that I didn’t start attending these presentations and making different choices in an attempt to heal the bulimia. This was something I had long given up to be even possible for me after having previously sought out pretty much every modality on offer from East to West. I started making these choices and changing how I was with myself because everything I was hearing simply made sense. Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?
What was presented to me was that change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace. I never once felt judged or pushed to hurry up and get it right. In fact Serge Benhayon was the first practitioner to know about my condition before I even opened my mouth to share it, and in this there was already a healing for me and an opportunity to be more open and honest with myself.
What happened from here is nothing short of amazing. Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices I have turned my whole life around. At first (and considering the pattern I was in) I found this difficult, it was new for me to love myself, and something I had always felt I couldn’t express to others. I had long associated self love with selfishness , vanity, or being ‘up yourself’ as my school friends used to say. And yet gradually this started to change, it became more easy , in fact I discovered that it is actually very natural to love and care for me. From the way I choose to brush my hair, wash myself, in how to dress, the foods I choose and how I prepare them, the way I walk, how I hold my body, it is there in everything – the opportunity to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am.
Without even trying, one day I woke up and the bulimia was no longer a part of my life. It had stopped. I had stopped. And if anyone was there throughout that period they would not believe seeing where I am today. I have come to see myself for the precious woman that I am and my life is becoming truly amazing from this.
What have I learnt from all this? I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light. I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people. I have learnt to trust in myself and from here I am beginning to trust once again in others. And with the support of my incredible husband, I have learnt to make light of situations, to have fun and not take things so seriously as I had always done.
Yes, I have healed Bulimia, and it has been through my own choices, but I could not have done this without the enormous love and support of Universal Medicine and the presentations delivered by Serge and Natalie Benhayon that have been nothing short of amazing and continue to inspire me each time I attend. I have turned around an existence that saw me struggling from day to day to living a life that is truly joy-full – in my home, my work, and my body. And the beauty is that I can feel there is so much more. I am discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us. It’s only the beginning and what a truly powerful beginning for me it has been. Endless thanks to Universal Medicine for how it has supported me to truly change my life, and for the countless others I have witnessed do the same.
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Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
Anna wow thats incredible, good for you for turning it around.
The support offered by Serge Benhayon, Natalie and Universal Medicine is way beyond amazing.
Anna, this totally resonated, ‘change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expects others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace’. It is from our own, a ha moments, do we realise that something within us needs to change. And somewhere out there is probably someone going through the same thing, you once experienced.
It’s the tapping into loving oneself first, can true healing begins. Loving oneself isn’t selfish, it is nurturing and supportive for a life time of living a true life.
An inspiration to others suffering the misery of eating disorders that with self-love, true care and support it is possible to reconnect to the beauty of who you are.
Bulimia is often not noticed by others because those who suffer from it become very adept at hiding it from others, it is often not until they become ill and their physical body starts to break down that anyone else sees that there is a problem. No plaster or medicine will fix the problem, the wanting to change has to come from the individual themselves and Practitioners of Universal Medicine are great listeners.
This is nothing short of amazing because when you think of all the money that is spent on treatments for eating disorders and the long arduous journey of recovery, this proves that self-love is so powerful and underestimated.
I love that when we connect to our bodies and begin to have a deeper loving care of ourselves, being tender and honouring our feelings, connecting to our soul, then all sorts of behaviours that we have had previously begin to drop away and we can find that even serious disorders like Bulimia can be healed.
I agree Elaine, and there is no end to the deepening.
Elaine, that connection to our bodies is so essential, and it is in this connection, do we begin to develop a true relationship with ourselves. It is an intimate relationship with ourselves that we can reflect to others too, and it is possible for them to develop this relationship with themselves, if they so choose to do so.
I agree Doug. If control of a vehicle has been lost then it is very wise to look at who exactly is behind the wheel.
This is a remarkable turnaround Anna by all accounts. This piece asks us to closely examine what it is we ingest both physically and energetically and why we seek to poison a vehicle of expression (our body) that can be otherwise used to express the divinity (love) that we are.
“What was presented to me was that change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace.” And as you continue to say not feeling judged to ‘get on with it’ allows the unfolding to occur more naturally. When we are honest with ourselves and treat ourselves with understanding there is more space for healing to occur.
Thank you, Anna, for sharing your story. What I get from this is how what appears to be a problem is a physical manifestation of what’s been going on for us inside, and true healing is not in the removal of symptomatic behaviour/condition, but in bringing truth to the quality in which we are.
Linda what you have shared is an amazing wisdom about the power of love that many students of Universal Medicine are experiencing in their own lives, me included.
Anna what you have shared could revolutionise how psychology approaches the treatment of eating disorders. The eating disorder itself is already ten steps away from the true essence of the person, but the first few steps would have been not feeling self worth or being able to respond to ourselves with love and care, disregard and neglect and not honouring what we feel for example. The eating disorder is already a progression of these steps away from ourselves so it makes sense to me that the addressing of self care and self love within your life resulted in such a profound healing. An eating disorder just cannot exist in a foundation of self love. With respect to anyone who has or has had an eating disorder what I’ve shared may be simplistic and not encompass the many experiences and reasons why an eating disorder develops, but essentially self harm cannot exist where self love lives.
I just find these stories astounding, I know self love is powerful and it feels amazing to live, but that it has the ability to turn around conditions like bulimia that people can suffer with for decades is astounding – such a simple and super loving (pun intended) way to change your life around I super look forward to this information being more mainstream.
The transformation you have gone through Anna is out of this world. Working with you today is an absolute pleasure, you are sweet, genuine, caring and so so loving. I cannot imagine the woman who you were when this was part of your life and we are so blessed that you have come out of it and are now standing on the other side.
Lack of self-love takes us to self-abuse in its wide range of varieties. When we come back to love everything gets naturally balanced.
That is so true Linda. There is not a single thing we can do in this world to ourselves or to others, that we cannot heal from.
When we love and care for ourselves it stands out to others who may not be loving or caring for themselves (I was and can sometimes go into this basket) Once we experience that and continuously so it makes the un-loving choices louder and the pull to love ourselves stronger as we now have an example of someone doing just that. How important then is it not just for ourselves but others to love ourself.
Universal Medicine together with Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon present and support us to make more loving choices for ourselves, I have over the years of deeply appreciating those loving choices found that I can be my own worst enemy, or my own greatest advocate.
The support that has been offered by Universal Medicine to so many is a testament of how an organisation puts people first and therefore the gold is in the true healing and life changing markers that allows them to bring vitality back into their lives.
Change has to start within ourselves, as you so aptly describe Anna. When we start to love and appreciate ourselves again it’s amazing the changes that can occur.
This daily cycle of abuse and inner self abating torment sounds truly awful. And to be caught up in this must be its own kind of hell. However, the fact that you have changed brings light on to the subject of bulimia, and gives a new path for anyone else who may be experiencing the same. Awesome that you have changed.
Hi Shami,
What’s even bigger then dealing with the cycle of abuse you are caught in is the realisation that you are actually yourself choosing it. When you start to see this, then the real healing begins.
Love,
Anna
That’s such a big ouch, whether we have chosen bulimia or any number of other abuses we may be doing to ourselves. But recognizing this can be the start of the healing path back to health and love.
This is such a powerful sharing. It tells me how disharmony is simply absence of love and when love returns harmony returns.
It is only truth lived and shared which can inspire us to truly change our life and heal our deepest hurts. Solutions, quick fixes, words that are not lived may give temporary relief but will never truly heal.
“Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices I have turned my whole life around” Thankyou for sharing your inspiring story Anna. Many of us have healed old habits- not by trying – but by giving ourselves more love and care. Universal Medicine – and our own new lifestyle choices – have a lot to answer for!
This is the essence ‘ to learn that it is natural to love and care for ourselves’. a simple truth ignored by the many.
Anna, many will relate to your story, whether bulimic or not. The familiar pattern of knowing something is wrong, yet unable to stop a repeating and abusive cycle, feeling utterly stuck and being hard on yourself. Through you, we learn that whatever the situation, self-love can heal and transform our lives.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly you show how much Bulimia can take over someone’s life, to the extent that their every waking moment is about food and the control it has over them. I feel the more this is talked about the less it will prevail because it is keeping it secret and hidden is what feeds its continuation and keeps the self imposed imprisonment that you talk about.
‘I listened to Serge Benhayon speak about self love, honesty, responsibility and choices.’ I love the way Serge Benhayon encourages us all to heal from within and there are always practitioners who can help with understanding support, such as Natalie Benhayon offers with Esoteric Womens’ Health. Reading this story written 5 years ago and seeing the beautiful woman you are now, Anna, is inspiring, clearly your journey has been a tough one but well worth it.
That’s very true Carmel, it has been worth every single step.
‘Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?’ The moment we start to ask these questions and be honest with ourselves, the door to healing opens and (self)love can enter and change our way.
In truth Bulimia isn’t so isolated, for when you look at the way we educate ourselves and live life, it’s purely by regurgitating knowledge and things we’ve been told. It’d be a huge breakthrough to admit this energy is at play in so many things we do. Whichever the form this way of overloading and bring it all up is seriously bad for our health. Thank you Anna.
To wake up one day and no longer feel the urge to binge and purge is amazing and shows the power we have to heal ourselves when we have a true understanding of why we do the things we do to abuse our body. Self love and self nurturing can never be underestimated, it brings a focus to the body and how precious it really is.
Anna what you share where is very supportive and healing for anyone else who is going through something similar, the choices you made to heal this condition would be very inspiring for many.
Wow Wow and Wow loved listening to how you brought in self love and naturally there was no more room in your life for bulimia, your blog is inspiring to all whether they have an eating disorder or not – self love is the answer to so many problems. To deepen self love is deepen one’s connection with God.
Anna a beautiful blog to read, how through making more self loving changes you realised that ‘it is actually very natural to love and care for me. From the way I choose to brush my hair, wash myself, in how to dress, the foods I choose and how I prepare them, the way I walk, how I hold my body, it is there in everything – the opportunity to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am.’ For me this says it all.
“I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light. ” if this is the single thing to have learnt from what Serge has presented then it is something that changes the entire world, how amazing and also how amazing to consider this is as you say one of many things.
“to hold myself in the deepest regard” – that is so important, and to know that you are deeply precious (as we all are) supports us to hold ourselves in this regard.
Your sharing here Anna reminds me how adept we have become at creating pastimes and activities that fill up our day and take the place of life. We get stressed and overwhelmed, yet what are we actually doing? Just pursuing things that suppress our feelings and how amazing we are! We make this into a virtual art form. Imagine if we brought this majesty and craft to a dedication to truth and living love. This world would not know what had touched it, but surely our grace, sacredness and divinity would be impossible to miss.
What’s amazing about this is that you didn’t seek to change or address the bulimia, you simply made a choice to make your life better quality – more loving, more caring, more committed – and that naturally dealt with it. It’s got me thinking – if that is possible, what else is possible?
“What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?” to even ask this question is a huge step forward for so many of us, I remember when I eventually wanted to ask why I would be abusive and do things that were not loving and caring for me. It was a huge challenge but once I worked through it I never looked back.
Anna this is a very powerful and supportive sharing for everyone. Self-love has no limits and is absolutely foundational in our well-being.
Love it Anna and you are spot on. Self-love is not ‘self-ish’ or ‘up yourself’ it is in fact a connection to who we truly are – and is available to all of us equally. In fact it could be said that to not love yourself is selfish because it is to withhold the love that we are from everyone. That is a million times more selfish than loving ourselves is. And your healing is proof of the fact, just as mine is too – and the many others who have chosen self-love and their way. Thank you for sharing this here. It offers the potential for amazing healing for so many others.
Anna you are one of many miracle stories that shower from Universal Medicine sharing how their life has turned around from the support that is offered that is like no other. Your blog shows that instead of trying to control and use will power to stop a mental illness one need only to go to the core of the issue, bring true healing and by virtue of this the illness heals itself.
Thank you for sharing how Universal Medicine supported you to find the key to unlock the prison of bulimia and set you on the road to healing yourself. With the increasing pressure on teenage girls to conform to unrealistic body shapes this blog is a much needed counterpoint to the forces of social media and demonstrates the lack of self-love behind all these behaviours that come from not accepting ourselves as we are and how much we all have to offer humanity.
It’s very rare that an organisation is able to support so many people and it is unheard of for individuals to be inspired and to truly healing what the root causes are for their conditions in the way that Universal Medicine inspires. This is the future of health care, today.
The miracle of (self) love.
To truly heal such a challenging condition such as bulimia, is amazing and the fact you have turned your life around is an inspiration.
What you offer here Anna is a huge way forward for others who may be or know of someone who is silently suffering with this disease. Bringing an understanding as to why this is happening brings great healing from someone who has lived it and now bringing a truth to the world. The truth of how amazing we all are, even underneath the condition.
So great to have this blog out there for others to read how love can transform us in the most beautiful and simple way, and that we are the key to our very health and vitality when we choose to connect to our truth and override the minds games and let go of past patterns.
This path you have taken, and the healing you have done is worthy of study and reporting, for it offers great opportunity for others who are also affected by this condition.
I agree Heather. This testimony shows that it is possible to get out of bulimia and that self love is the foundation for a healthy life.
How amazing that you were able to reverse your obsession with food and literally undo the pattern. This is a must read for anyone who is stuck in the same pattern and believes they can’t get out of it. Change starts from within us. It can’t be any other way.
‘I find myself bingeing and having to take a trip to the toilet to bring up all the food I had so fervently shoved down in an attempt to numb myself out or sabotage when I was actually feeling good.’ Why is it that we feel we have to sabotage ourselves when we are feeling so good? I love your openness and transparency here Anna its very healing. And it’s truly amazing that this healed not through fixed determination but by you just simply loving yourself more .. then everything that is not love just falls away. Yep Serge, Natalie and Simone Benhayon, in fact all the Benhayons and Universal Medicine have definitely helped and supported many people to love and care for themselves more, including myself… very cool indeed.
A true and profound account of healing Anna thank you…
The key words with all the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is returning to a level of self care and nurturing that has been eroded over time with the lifestyle choices we are choosing. When we marry this with western medicine the support is provided to heal so much that we have allowed to stay dormant time and time again.
We all have, or have had, our addictions and abuses. Getting underneath them is not always easy but developing a loving relationship with our bodies and our ourselves seems like it’s a key part of healing, taking baby steps towards this with a lot of patience along the way.
I cannot but wonder how many people are struggling with the shame of doing something now or in the past that they cannot let go of and how this is playing out in their bodies and lives everyday.
Your words of appreciation for yourself Anna, are so far removed from how you used to deal with life, and your feelings. Well done – very inspiring to read.
It is just stunning that you were able to heal something so pervasive and all consuming. The power of simply making choices to take responsibility and offer yourself a greater level of love and care was clearly the key for your profound healing… simple wisdom that now shared could help many.
Samantha what you share here can’t be forgotten, its like we are able to transform and heal but only if we are the ones willing to look at how we are living. Amazing results, something we can all do but our choice if we do or don’t.
…’ and deeper than this was the enormous sadness in the knowing that it was I who was doing this to myself.’ A lot of us live with this sadness because we deep down know we are the creators of our own pain by disregarding ourselves and our body in various ways. It is very inspiring to read that you’ve chosen and were able to turn around your way of existing into a loving and joyful way of living and that’s something we all can if we start with taking steps towards loving ourselves and honouring our bodies.
We have this idea that we have to care for others or care for ourselves but somehow we can’t do both and of course many of us have a pattern where we neglect ourselves to care for others. This is not so, but it’s very prevalent and it takes time and true care to undo these ideals and to truly appreciate and love ourselves and of course others are loved in that too. It’s not a zero sum game, and the key to all care is that it starts with us and spreads out from there to encompass all around us.
Bulimia is very extreme and incredibly damaging no question, and I wonder how many of us are walking around with this critic in our head.. whether it’s as extreme as bulimia, or a general undertone of dissatisfaction as we watch ourselves not living how we know we want to, but unwilling to look a bit deeper and do the real spade work needed to transform ourselves?
Once again I am impressed by how we can become if we avoid to live the love that we are, how abusive to our bodies we then become, all patterns and habits just to not feel the uneasiness of us not choosing love to be part of our lives.
Anna this is such a healing sharing that I am sure many will benefit from. Just knowing that there is a way to heal ones self through something as beautiful as self love is amazing.
Reading what you share feels so powerful to me Anna. I am struck by how I have exactly the same pattern you describe with the way I work. It makes me think that just because we have a word for a condition like ‘Bulimia’ we feel safe and content that we have it defined and boxed it in. But actually this behaviour is so much bigger than we prefer to think. It’s beautiful though to realise this as it means, the healing that you chose, is possible for me to choose too.
Thank you for sharing this Anna. While never having such a condition I can relate so much to the control and rigidity and the judgement that the mind can seemingly trap us in. But as you shared “the opportunity to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am.” Is always available in every moment.
Well said Leigh, when we are in the turmoil of an illness we can bypass the truth that we can choose change at any moment. The turmoil is so loud that the voice of change is but a mere whisper and the voice of another is needed to sound out and support the change that’s always on offer.
Anna I love this sentence ‘I have come to see myself for the precious woman that I am and my life is becoming truly amazing from this.’ Beautiful to read how you chose to make different choices honouring and loving yourself for who you are.
Your story is a true testimonial for choosing to self love and care for yourself and showing us that even when there is seemingly no love at all in our lives, a choice to start to self love and care can turn it all around and bring us back to ourselves.
Another astounding testimonial to how we can truly turn around our lives and heal so much when we choose Love. True love that is, and not the illusion of comforting love we have bought into.
This is so inspiring Anna. Your story needs to be read by everyone. It is quite amazing what we can heal when we bring self-love into our lives.
The body is very intelligent, when we surrender to its wisdom, there is really no need to push ourselves or reach any destination. Everything is already there to support us, we just have to surrender and go there.
The magic of healing both the energetic and psychological underlying causes which in turn supports with healing the physical.
Thank you Anna for explaining the trap of bulimia, and how it takes over a person’s life, but who would have thought that it could be as simple as choosing to feel and love your self and your body.
Even though we know what we are doing to ourselves is abusing our body we still do it so it cannot be a question of mind over matter; there has to be more at play.
A really great blog, Thankyou Anna for sharing. It was great to get to see what it is like living with Bulimia and to hear how you took self responsibility to help yourself come out of it. If I look at Bulimia as an act, eating a large amount of food and then purposely making ourselves throw it all back up, then it doesn’t make sense, I don’t understand it b,ut but seeing the underlying anxiousness, self critique etc it helped to understand just why we have these conditions and how they affect people.
I agree it is amazing that becoming more in tune with our bodies can result in the biggest changes concerning our health and well-being, with no force or trying. I have also dropped habits that I had that were not supportive, through this, the choice to reconnect more deeply with how my body feels and the messages it shares.
So beautiful Anna that you have learnt and been inspired to self love, be totally honest with yourself and others, take responsibility for the way you live your life and the impact you have and make wise loving choices; how awesome is that. You are an inspiration; thank you for sharing your story..
It’s so brilliant to hear you share on your experience with Bulimia Anna, it’s so rare in my experience to see this topic discussed at all, as if it is taboo. Yet reading over what you say, I can feel it’s not an isolated thing, but its behaviors feed into so many things. And many of us may suffer too, anonymously without a diagnosis or support at all. Your beautiful question – ‘why aren’t we tender?’ is one that applies to everyone and everything. Whilst we may have different symptoms to you, the underlying condition of hardness is one that absolutely hurts and starves us. It is easy to read but to offer ourselves the gift of self-love is something so incredibly precious – you can see the powerful truth of this just in the way your life has changed around. Thank you for opening up and sharing in this way.
“I feel it is important to say here that I didn’t start attending these presentations and making different choices in an attempt to heal the bulimia.” I wonder how many others would also say that their ill-conditions have healed after engaging with Serge, Universal Medicine and/or Universal Practitioners though, like you Anna, was not their initial reason for attending? Instead it has been a ‘side-affect’ of making the choices to be self-loving. In truth, though, it is not a side-affect but in fact this is what happens when we love ourselves and our ill-conditions are the result of us not loving ourselves.
learning “to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am” with self-love as the principal ingredient of our diet we no longer feed the self-abuse.
Without sharings like yours, I wouldn´t even know that I also used behaviours like bulimia, using exercise instead. I considered it as completely normal and so did everyone around me that I was binge eating and some behaviours to counter that. Probably it was only the fact that I didn´t purge that there seemed to be nothing wrong about it as e.g. doing sports is considered a healthy thing to do. And only having a coffee but no breakfast as well is not a big deal. But the reasons and strategy behind these behaviours was run by the planned binge eating later on the day and to balance the last days affects.
In fact a very amazing and true healing not just the absence of the illness, a healing of yourself to not needing bulimia anymore as a means to cope with life but empowering yourself with love, care and understanding to be who you are in life instead of getting through life.
You are brilliant indeed Anna, and what your words communicate to me, is we all have our own way of doing this. Just because we haven’t been diagnosed with bulimia or don’t have the extreme symptoms we tend to see, does not mean we do not fight and try to hide our light. Even talking about this is virtually unheard of in our society. So it’s awesome that you write here and share too how the healing on offer is not in a prescription or a course but in the loving way we move and hold ourselves.
Self-love is good medicine. It supports us to make more loving choices and this benefits everyone.
The devastation of eating disorders are being felt in families world wide. The imprisonment of such illnesses on a family member often imprisons the whole family. This blog is truly remarkable in showing there is another way and the healing modalities that are offered through the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Self-love is the foundation of healing, it is to discard what is lovelessness in the body, I have discovered that when I do not hold back expressing who I naturally am, this is the greatest healing my body can experience. That said, of course when needed, I would take equal responsibility to visit doctors and medical professionals for consultation and advice.
You are right, I feel bulimia is a taboo subject and something we feel ‘should’ not be talked about, same as mental health although this seems to be getting a bit better, but bulimia yep it is still hidden. Over the last few years from reading people’s experiences with this I have learnt much more about it and just how cunning and deceitful it makes someone be. As you have shared, planning on what foods were best to eat so it is easier to throw up or what foods to eat so it lines the stomach in a certain way which then makes the foods easier to throw up. Every single thing is thought out and I can see how this would very much be like torture. When I was in my teens I was anorexic for at least 2 years and although I would constantly read calories in things and be obsessed with this and not eat much food I did not do it to this extent. It is amazing what happens when we start to truly love ourselves and Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped many people do this.
Being our light in full is surely one of the hardest things to master – I know for myself I’m a long way off yet. It’s amazing the lengths we will go to self-sabotage.
Accepting the world as it is, and the light of the soul that we are here to express, is something we all face every single day. Food and our choices around it is one of the many ways that show us our relationship with God and evolution.
‘I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light.’ I am still learning this and being given the opportunity to deepen this way of being every day. I am learning that I can jump into action and leave a part of me behind and that never works, I have to be with me in full to truly be with me at all.
Me too Elaine, me too.
Your joy and appreciation of setting yourself free from the prison you describe serves as such an inspiration for others that may find it hard to accept themselves in all their light, truth, and glory, and to not be afraid to show this.
Thanks Rosanna, I can see how our experiences are not ever without purpose. Once we come through something we have much to offer others, whether it be with something such as bulimia, or something smaller/simpler. Each of us has so much to offer.
And once we understand this, the bigger purpose of whatever experience it is we have gone through – that often feels utterly awful at the time, and come out the other side, we can share with others in the midst of such a place and say with absolute authority that this is an experience to learn by, that will at some point offer understanding and inspiration to other also.
I’ve heard many people with Bulimia having this for life and going through real struggles with trying to deal with it. Yet the way in which Serge Benhayon presents that we are already everything just not choosing to connect and in life that everything means that there is nothing to fix so to speak, rather a letting go of what is not us. It’s great to hear what happens when this approach is applied to Bulimia.
We are fashioned from love and to not express this leads to enormous dis-ease and suffering because it takes great force to withhold that which we naturally are. Without love, we simply cannot stomach the world nor be who we actually are. Thus, self-love is the path home to the all-encompassing universal love we have departed from. Every step matters. Your path back is an inspiration to us all Anna, thankyou.
This is so true what you share Jenny, the way we live is our medicine, ‘The way we live is the medicine… as it was the source of our ailments in the first place.’ Absolutely.
A remarkable story Anna showing that true healing is possible. I have seen so many ‘ailments’ and ‘conditions’ resolve as a by-product of the sort of self-care, development of self-love and self-acceptance you speak of. I am an example of this too.. healing a life-long history of eczema, hayfever and headaches without trying to address them at all. The way we live is the medicine… as it was the source of our ailments in the first place.
Having known a number of people with Bulimia and many others with eating disorders I am blown away by your blog. For the first time you get underneath what is driving the condition and not simply trying to band aid it. This is the key, the gold and the missing ingredient that is needed. So many children and adults suffer from eating disorders. It’s time that stories like yours form part of everyday education.
I agree MA, and working on it.
What a super support your blog is to anyone wanting to bring about change to unloving and self abusive patterns. Thank you for sharing so honestly Anna. It’s interesting that you didn’t set out to cure the bulimia, but it happened anyway as a consequence of you asking some very crucial questions and choosing to explore the answers – ‘Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?’
Wow, a very much unbelievable story and very well written, it certainly inspires me to know more about the disease or similar behaviours which are more common these days.. how much do we all abuse food aka our body? – food is an easy vice to use .. this would help science and the medical profession to understand more how to cure and heal diseases like this and one that are similar.
It makes sense this disease is psychological and not talked about. I had a similar type of self-abuse running in me. This outplayed in the family behind closed doors but we presented ourselves as such respectful people. I did not purge food but always overeat (self-abuse) and honestly still do this sometimes. Same for me too the lack of acceptance of life and committing to it in full.
I agree with you Anna it is nothing short of miraculous how much I have healed too practising and living the principles of Universal Medicine. I cannot say enough but advise anyone to read your words in how you now accept and celebrate life and people.
Reading this again today I was struck by the amount of energy it takes to manage oneself when one is in the throes of Bulimia. In fact it takes a lot of energy to do anything that is against our natural evolution. No wonder that most of us who spend times in our lives when we are focused on anything but the love that we are, or even perhaps not caring for ourselves at the level the body needs from us, get exhausted and end up running on nervous energy, feel stressed and stretched and live with a level of anxiousness that depletes us even further.
Thank you Anna. Reading your blog I was struck by what a traumatic disease bulimia is. It really does eat away at you. What an incredible thing to not just manage the bulimia but to actually heal the root cause of it. This is what true healing is.
‘I am discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us.’ Thank you Anna. It could be that when we have sorted out a certain issue that has had its hold over us for some time we could stay at that level of self care and think we had made it, however as you so rightly say there is so much more. Continuing to observe ourselves and staying committed to our own unfolding, our awareness grows and we have the choice to deepen and expand the love that is. This is a seemingly never ending learning curve and let’s not forget the joy that comes with it!
This is a very powerful article Anna. May of our problems and issues can not be addressed or healed by tackling them head on as that is not where the true problems lies. The issues are only the end result. Getting to the root of something allows for a full healing. Many times we learn to manage or deal with the issue and we can live quite successfully doing so. But true healing is another story and the issue or problem completely leaves us.
Appreciating and confirming ourselves allows for a deeper level of acceptance of who we are and that which we are not.
What I find very inspiring about this blog Anna is how by learning to self-love and deepen your self acceptance the behaviour of bulimia falls away, rather than struggling to have control over a pattern of behaviour.
This is so inspiring and offers so much hope to those caught in the cycle of bulimia as well as those around them. At boarding school we all knew that one of our friends was purging on a regular basis but were complicit in allowing her to continue because we felt powerless to offer any support so it was easier to just pretend it was not happening. It feels like this is reflected in society’s wilful ignoring of the current scale of eating disorders throughout all ages and both sexes. It is time to look deeper at the reasons why people make these choices and support them to explore the healing that is available when we start to truly love and care for ourselves. Thank you for being a shining beacon in the darkness of self loathing that so many feel trapped in.
A beautiful testimonial of the love and support of Universal Medicine while we take responsibility for healing our hurts.
What a great blog, so inspirational. I am learning day by day the power of self care and self love.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly Anna. It’s fascinating and powerful to witness the behaviours cease without even trying once we deal with the underlying causes and issues.
If we don’t think we can understand something, it seems to make us scared. And so like with Bulimia as you show Anna, we pretend it just is not there. What if we took the reverse approach and investigated and explored these topics without judgement just looking at what is going on? I feel then we would find there is nothing to fear, and that these ‘dark’ areas are all geared up to help us to return to self-care and self-love.
Hi Joseph,
It is true what you say, the fear gets in the way of us going deeper into our understanding and this is needed without judgment.
These days, the more I explore my own relationship with food I can see looking back that yes, to the western medical model I had an eating disorder, but essentially I was struggling with my own awareness, and with accepting life around me. I was struggling to accept all that I saw and felt and to not react to it, so the bingeing was my attempt to shut down my awareness. I now see a different way forward. Learning to observe life and feel my way from there. I still have moments where I find myself wanting to eat, but I am not judging so much, there is more understanding and more observation.
It is amazing how, by attending the workshops or presentations held by Universal Medicine, we start making changes in how we are with ourselves and once this care and love develops other changes naturally happen with no will power or harsh discipline needed just commitment and consistency. Thank you, Anna, for sharing openly on such a sensitive subject
I used to suffer from extreme lack of self worth and much abusive behaviour would come from this. I used to feel like a black hole was opening me up and swallowing me whole and I did not have the strength to fight it. It is only by re-connecting to the Wisdom of the Ages we all know and hold deep within and is being presented in this era by Serge and Natalie Benhayon, that I have come to see that all that I thought had consumed me and I thought was of me has never in-truth been a part of the true me, but simply all I had taken on to smother the light that eternally burns within. This light is our love, it is Heavenly in the truest sense and never does it go out, despite the layers of ‘darkness’ we envelop it with. Peeling back these layers to unfold the true me has been such an enormous blessing and has brought a great joy. So much so that in feeling who I truly am, I know immediately exactly who I am not!
Anna, this is a gorgeous example of how we move in cycles and that it is only a simple and loving choice on our behalf, or rather a series of them, that has the power to change a cycle of self-destruction into one of beauty and growth. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us.
I so deeply appreciate what you have shared in this blog Anna, thank you for sharing your lived experiences, your knowledge and your wisdom. I was particularly taken with these words, very beautiful and inspiring;
“I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light”.
Thank you Shirl, those are very beautiful words indeed and a great reminder today and every day to keep deepening how we are we ourselves as there is always deeper level of self love and regard to go to.
Indeed Anna, knowing you as I do today bears no resemblance to what you’ve described of your earlier life. This is a true testimony to what is presented through Universal Medicine, and to the power of true role models in inspiring sustainable change. Your story is powerful and important for all women who suffer these type of disorders thank you.
Thank you Sarah, this is a very honest and real account about Bulimia and how it feels like a prison, so obviously does not feel like something chosen but more an illness. Then what you share about changing perceptions of your self and how ultimately the illness stopped through those changes, showed how important it is to broaden and expand our awareness of ourselves and what life is about.
The way you have healed bulimia, by attending to self love, honouring, and addressing the questions… “Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?…” seems to have dismantled the behaviour habit and choice that drives bulimia. Very inspiring Anna, a great sharing for people and family members who are affected with bulimia.
The words ‘highly orchestrated’ feel very pertinent in this blog – how much planning and ‘dedication’ goes into living a life with bulimia and other similar disorders. I feel that when we don’t naturally choose a self-loving way we all have an orchestrated plan of ‘attack’ on ourselves that in a very real sense supports our choice to not be loving. For many it is not so obviously self-harming but just seeks to keep us numb from feeling too much and when we live this way we can look at others who are more extreme and believe we are ok. But maybe this is not so. Maybe we have just chosen a more cunning way that is hidden within the beliefs and ideals that our way is normal – because so many others live that way too.
What a beautiful testimony to the power of choosing self-love and of Universal Medicine. It is so hard to convey what it is like to live with the torment of something like bulimia in a blog. It feels like self-rejection on a very deep level. Hence the fact that when the choice to self-accept and self-love is made that things change naturally from within. Loving ourselves is not a new idea. Truly wise men have been telling us this for eons. Perhaps it is time we listened and embraced it more widely.
‘Hence the fact that when the choice to self-accept and self-love is made that things change naturally from within. Loving ourselves is not a new idea. Truly wise men have been telling us this for eons’. I love your words here Richard, bringing it back to being just a choice.
Honouring what we are feeling is so important, we become extremely skillful at numbing ourselves not to feel the core of our issues.
It is outstanding how your focus on ‘self love’ has addressed the issue of bulimia. This is a very inspiring read for many who may struggling with bulimia.
‘What was presented to me was that change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace.’ There comes a point in life for many when we open our eyes, take a look around and realise we are still looking at the same view – running on the hamster wheel of life, repeating the same things over and over and over again, even if we might loathe ourselves for doing do. At this point we have chosen to become consciously aware and then we realise that this is entirely down to our own choices and the only person that can stop the cycle is ourselves. Yes it take commitment, yes it takes dedication, yes it takes saying ‘no’ to those things we reach for to comfort ourselves, but to make the effort is to change life in the most incredible ways.
It is interesting for me reading back on this blog years on and all the comments that follow, as I find myself at a new point in my life being asked to deepen my love, appreciation and acceptance of self even more so, and to be honest, struggling with this a litre. I have come to the awareness that it can be easy to fool ourselves about where we are with things, and this doesn’t serve us at all. We need to be totally honest if we are truly going to heal.
Everything that I wrote in this blog is true, all that I went through and the amazing transformation and healing that followed was absolute, but I can also feel that the deeper honesty wasn’t really there, that there is such a deeper level of appreciation and acceptance of myself and a much deeper valuing of myself to come to truly heal the root cause. The symptoms may have alleviated and the condition brought to a stop, but the real healing has only just begun.
Deep honesty is what the world is missing. Once we learn to be honest with ourselves we can in turn learn to be honest with another.
Agree Roberta, many people are easily trapped by food – they so easily give their power away to it, as I have done in the past as well. To say no to this, and to see food as a nourishment for our bodies and not a pain or pleasure is to look at it in a different way, based on the relationship we have with our bodies first. I know if I am feeling full in myself and connected, then my body knows when to eat, what to eat and how much. If I ignore that in any way, then the trap of the food wars comes flooding in.
Physician heal your-self first, how important is that saying from the Ageless Wisdom. “Heal the bulimia, this was something I had long given up to be even possible for me after having previously sought out pretty much every modality on offer from East to West.” Could it be that when you are inspired by someone like the Benhayons, who ‘walk their talk’ so therefore have healed themselves, that you can also heal and then through that inspiration by walking your talk, you allow others, to come to their own healing?
For more on the Ageless Wisdom go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=AGELESS+WISDOM
A strong message I have taken from this blog is accept, accept, accept! This includes me – where I am at in my development, what I bring to the world, what I look like, what’s on the inside and so on. It also includes the willingness to be open and accept others in the same way and to thereby open the way for more intimacy in every sense of the word. Thanks Anna for such an enlightening blog.
Your sharing of your journey form bulimia to a joyful and healthy existence is a miracle Anna. I know a few people who have a life-long struggle with food, but also know of a few who have made different choices and with the support of Universal Medicine have turned their life around. We all have to eat – so a struggle with food is a tricky one. You can’t go cold turkey or eliminate gently, as you can with some addictions. As with any symptom, looking at the underlying hurt and finding and treating the cause is what’s important. Beautiful how you acknowledge how amazing you are – thankyou.
Our relationship with food is a very important one. Often it is not our body that is truly listened to when we put food into our mouths – or not. This can vary from what you have spoken about here Anna as an overt eating disorder – to the more subliminal restriction in order to not put on weight or to fit a certain dress size. All of it points to the fact there is much more governing our relationship with food than what we think of as physiological hunger. We have much to learn about this as humans, as it is clear our relationship with food thus far has not been helping us, or the planet by and large.
‘A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.’
Anna what you have shared here is very powerful and I feel that it includes anything that we do, say or think that is abusive to us. The more we can get honest with how we choose to abuse ourselves … the greater the chance to self accept.
So true Kathryn – we need to look at why we abuse ourselves in any tiny way as it can unlock the quality that is actually our true power in this world. In this case it is amongst others pure delicateness and grace.
‘we need to look at why we abuse ourselves in any tiny way as it can unlock the quality that is actually our true power in this world’. Beautiful Amelia, and very true.
Thank you for sharing your journey Anna, it is truly incredible what differences occur when we start to make choices which are loving and regarding for and of ourselves.
Thank you Michael, and I definitely agree with you. The power of being loving with oneself is the start and end point for everything that is love in our lives. It is everything!
So many women still wake up with these thoughts bombarding them, about how they should be, what they should look like and the foods they should or should not eat. This all comes from a lack of deep connection to who they are, and the deep beauty they innately hold – which means it has not been supported to stay with them from when they are young. This is showing us how much further support is needed – for young men and women alike in staying connected to their innate beauty. This has the power to change the world in more ways than we can even fathom.
This is very true Amelia Stephens. Self love needs to be taught to children in our schools as well as our homes.
I agree Ariana,
Appreciating and valuing ourselves lies hand in hand with self love and self care. For me personally the more I appreciate who I am and what I offer the world, the deeper my love of self becomes. There really is no end to the amount of love that we can have in our bodies, hense the amount of love that we then bring to the world.
Dear Anna,
In reading your story Anna, I have a greater understanding of bulimia and how it literally becomes the life of the person who has this disease. To have now healed this for yourself through no desire to fix you, but to love you is too beautiful for words. And an awareness that is needed in our world today, it begs for us to consider just how many diseases can be halted, or very much lessened in their affect on our bodies, when love and deep care becomes the way life is lived.
Loving ourselves is too beautiful for words – very true Leigh, it is beyond words what comes from this choice to self love.
Beautiful Stefanie, I feel the love in your words. This is it, we are this, and the more we live this love in the simplest of ways, the abuse (in any form) cannot take hold. I have stopped abusing this most precious being, and I am constantly now deepening and refining how much more love I can be and express with myself and with the world – never to hold this back again.
Thank you for your honest sharing Anna, with all the strength and responsibility that is palpable through your writing here. It makes me consider, that the manner of self-abuse may differ, but the pattern seems to be the same. I can very much relate to the self-constructed prison and running it every day in a vicious cycle of self abuse and shame, just to overwrite these feelings with the next self-abusive behavior or emotion too, and so on. It is so true, that introducing self-loving choices is true medicine and the only way to truly heal self-abuse addictions. It has been always a theory for me, something I “knew” about, but the power and magic of self-love starts to unfolds from living it in a way and beauty, I was not able to imagine before. It is like not giving the seed water and wondering about to stay just hard, and blossoming and growing from adding water, so the magic and interaction that is seeded within, can proceed.
Thank you so much Anna for sharing your journey with your health, and showing how not actually focussing on the bulimia was the way you were able to heal it. It cannot be underestimated the effect building self love and nurturing in our body can have. It is truly beautiful to hear that you have healed from this, and the way your life now is. You are an inspiration to many.
Thank you Amelia. It is so important that we share and express what we have lived when it has the capacity to inspire others to also heal and change.
Every moment is a moment for us to bring more love, tenderness and delicateness to how we are with ourselves. We cannot even fathom what this then brings by way of healing. Thank you Anna for sharing this powerful story. It is one many will learn from, I am sure.
‘Every moment is a moment for us to bring more love, tenderness and delicateness to how we are with ourselves’. I feel what you have shared here Amelia is so important and key to our healing. If and when I step away from this way of being with myself, that is when the urge to overeat or eat the wrong thing creeps back in, or even the negative thoughts that can easily spiral to a down day. I am learning how important it is to be super loving with ourselves ALL of the time.
What a wonderful transformation you have made Anna; thank you for so honestly sharing your story. I am inspired by your loving choices to care for and nurture yourself thus leading to miraculous healing.
Thank you Shirl, every now and then someone comes along and reminds us of how far we have come. It is a beautiful confirmation to look back and reflect on this. Today you were that person.
Thanks Sally for sharing this and I agree, self care and self nurturing are invaluable in reconnecting with our inner selves and our bodies.
This story is phenomenal. In today’s world we are constantly looking for others to support or provide us with the “quick fix’ for all our issues or illnesses. To make changes which allowed you to recognise that the healing can only take place from within is so powerful and truly needs to be shared.
HI nb, I agree. It is a testimony to taking responsibility for ourselves; our lives and choices.
I agree nb- this story is phenomenal, and a living miracle.
Today so many people are looking for quick fixes and do not want to take responsibility for their ill choices which have created their illness. Anna has showed us the power of self care, self nurturing and selflove.
As I am finding Loretta, there really is no end to the deepening relationship one can have with self care, self nurturing and self love. At the time I wrote this, I remember feeling quite amazing coming from where I had come from, but to feel me now is truly phenomenal. We must never give up on that deepening, never step into any arrogance that we have it – it is a constant developing of love.
I agree Helen, we really do kid ourselves, and we can pretend as much and for as long as we like that if no one sees us then it is ok, but the truth is, it is not ok. Ultimately we all have to take responsibility for the unloving choices we make the and consequences of these are not always easy to feel on the way back.
Anna, your blog is extremely important, not just because eating disorders are common but because people everywhere have worked out their own ways to self sabotage, either to hold themselves down and avoid accepting their light or out of self loathing etc. What you have shown here is that even though we kid ourselves that we are getting away with certain behaviours, deep down we know that’s not the case. But the hard part is finding someone who understands what is truly going on and this is where the support of Universal Medicine and its practitioners are simply amazing.
Thank you Anna for sharing how the energy of Bulimia ruled your life. It exposes how locked in we can become to a pattern of numbing ourselves that hijacks within us the ability to feel and connect to the love that we are.
I too in the past have chosen to numb myself this way. For many years following the breakdown of a relationship I developed an obsessive relationship with food. When things got tough it was food I would reach for to fill the emptiness and numb the self loathing.
Now, I don’t reach for the food to avoid contact with myself, but allow myself to feel what I am feeling. I choose to be more gentle with myself and supportive in how I live, if I am feeling emptiness I know now I need to stop and re-connect.
The love within me now has a platform to stand on, as I allow myself to surrender more deeply to the truth of who I am. I couldn’t have done this alone without feeling that God and the Hierarchy are with me and the support from Universal Medicine has felt very healing.
‘The love within me now has a platform to stand on’ ~ this is very beautiful Nicole, thank you. This is what it is all about. That we live the love that we are from within ourselves. It has taken me some time to see this, and then more to start to live it, but it is truly worth it, not just for ourselves, but for everyone.
Dear Nicole and Anna,
Thank you for your sharings here. For some time I have felt my love within, and have begun my own journey to live from it, and yes it really is worth doing. In fact I can now not imagine my life without my connection to God.
Stopping the momentum of bulimia dead in its tracks is an absolute miracle, Anna your story here is so inspiring. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your experiences with this eating disorder, this is true healing medicine written down. The choice to self-love and honour the Divine Being inside us leads to momentous and glorious changes and new beginnings.
This is awesome Anna, how you healed bulimia… There are so many young girls and women who struggle with this, your story is a valuable account that needs to be shared, showing that self love is the key.
Thank you for sharing your Experience with bulimia Anna… Bulimia consumes your life because not only is there the physical aspect to it (throwing up, taking laxatives etc) your whole body and thoughts are geared towards it and the way you think and feel about yourself is based off of it. Changing this seems so important to healing it- not just cutting out the symptoms (vomiting, laxatives etc). Thank you for hinting how to do that too- self care and amazing support.
“I am discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us.” This is absolute gold Anna…thank you for sharing your healing with such honesty.
Thank you Paula, I love this too.
It is so great that you have shared your journey with bulimia Anna. It is a disease that many people do not talk about as there is a lot of shame around it. Being willing to express how it was for you and what has supported you to heal is a huge support for those with an eating disorder. I had both bulimia and anorexia and hid it from all my family and friends for a long time. The true healing happened for me when I was honest about how little I accepted myself for just being me and start to explore why this was so. Instead of numbing my self on food and vomiting which I realised was all a distraction from feeling my lack of self worth and a way to avoid taking responsibility for my life. It was a cop out really and I could remain a victim to my eating disorder and continue to affect my family and friends or make the commitment to making more loving choices and change my life. I chose to make more loving choices thanks to the support of Universal Medicine and I am now living a life free from eating disorders.
I like the honesty you bring with this comment Mary Louise. I can feel I was also avoiding taking responsibility for myself and the choices I was making by using bulimia to distract me. I felt like I wanted someone else to fix me. It was not until I started taking more responsibility and committing to the relationship with God and the tenderness within myself that I can say the compulsion to numb and abuse myself with food lifted.
I agree Anne, and the more I read the comments following this sharing, it is a deeper confirmation for me even of how powerful self love and self care (in their simplicity) truly are – so thank you.
Thank you for this sharing, it is great to read and feel how choices change someone’s life, as it did mine. Caring for ourself is indeed very natural, and is that what is holding us in the love that we are.
Thankyou for sharing your experience Anna. Honouring and loving ourselves seems such a simple way to live, yet so few of us live that way. So many ‘miraculous’ healings in all sorts of medical areas have come about because we have made different choices. All without ‘trying’ to heal the condition. The illness or habit just drop
off the radar. Huge appreciation to Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicne practitioners for showing us the way.
Thanks Sueq, what I find so amazing about what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teaches is how it is and always comes back to the simplicity of our choices – loving or not. Our choices determine everything that happens in our lives.
Awesome gilesch….. exactly. What if we all just deeply loved ourselves and shared this love with all. Imagine that for the new normal.
Sharing so honestly about your experience like you have of such a debilitating condition that controls so many peoples lives is such a blessing. It will be so healing to so many to know that after attempting to stop themselves and break the pattern via a myriad of ways … that healing is possible should they just choose to love and honour themselves deeply.
Yes Samantha, how awesome is it, and the need for this level of openness is paramount. Openness without shame, guilt or regret.
Anna thank you for your insight into bulimia, but even more your journey returning to health. Looking at the underlying issue and not the symptom, your healing took place.
I loved reading your blog and the comments which confirm your transformation is nothing short of amazing and miraculous. The self-loathing is so hard to get on top of and what I love about your inspiring story Anna is how you gift yourself the space and time to turn these behaviours around and as you bring more honouring and self love into your daily choices, you are “discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us.” This is my current experience and it is truly GLORIOUS. Thank you so much.
“What have I learnt from all this? I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light”.
This is so beautifully expressed Anna and a wonderful lesson and inspiration for us all.
The transformation in your life is a credit to you and the loving choices you have made.
It’s nothing short of amazing how you have turned your life around Anna. These words really stood out to me: “I have learnt how important it is to … hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light. I have learnt to trust in myself and from here I am beginning to trust once again in others.” Thank you.
Thanks Annie, I am still learning this. To trust more in myself and my body, and that the depths of regard we can hold for ourselves and others is endless, so a forever deepening for me.
Very true Anne, sometimes it can be the most challenging of experiences that offers us a great learning and a blessing to know who we truly are, and how to truly live this in the world. Reading back over my words ‘to hold myself in the deepest regard’, I can feel there is yet another deeper level of this being asked of me….I am finding that the depth of love that is there waiting for us to claim is endless, it never ceases at any point.
“I have learnt how important it is to self-love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light”. Anna, this is an amazing lesson to learn no matter what the experience that brought the awareness. In fact whatever brought you to this place, could be seen as a ‘blessing’, as for you it has been life changing. If we see all our experiences as an opportunity to learn the lessons so presented, our lives will continue to become even more joy-full as our commitment to self and others continues to deepen.
This is an extraordinary story one that should be shared with the world! Most women never actually are free of the inner world of bulimia or anorexia most often it is just something they find a way to manage, the self loathing etc is always present. Where what you share is a total revolution to this, to be free of the addiction to actually heal and live a life with love for yourself instead – AMAZING.
Totally agree Vanessa, AMAZING. Stories like Anna’s stand out because it is very rare to hear of people truly healing the issues surrounding bulimia and anorexia. Imagine if real lived experiences like this were shared in eating disorder support groups and in schools etc? I feel it would lead to many others seeing through the plethora of self-abusive ways for what they are and what they are used for and realising that they can be let go of at any time, to reveal the gorgeousness and love that has been there all along.
Beautiful Aimee and Vanessa. This is very true, the stories need to be shared and expressed openly for others to feel the support that is there to truly look at and heal the underlying issues. Even in times when I feel a little flat or down on myself now, I have the support and the tools to know that it all comes back to a choice to love myself or not. It all comes back to that same word ~ responsibility.
“Without even trying, one day I woke up and the bulimia was no longer a part of my life.” Absolutely amazing Anna. Thank you for sharing your story. I am inspired by this and the many other blogs that have been shared where people have transformed their lives through taking responsibility for their choices and caring for themselves and loving themselves. It is amazing to see the different manifestations of lack of self love and how by addressing the underlying issue, the behavior changes effortlessly.
I agree Lee, I have read many stories on this blog and others similar that serve to inspire and remind me of the power of self love, and making loving choices. For me I feel these sharings are all part of the support we can offer one another, whilst continually pulling each other to be and live more.
“Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices I have turned my whole life around”. Anna this is the Livingness described in all its simplicity and power. Thank you for sharing how when it is lived, it can be life-changing – miraculous even!
What a journey Anna, and the bulimia just stopped! It’s just a testament to the amazing teachings that are being presented via Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon. Once you start connecting to your self and your heart loving choices become almost automatic, I have experienced this for myself. Thank you for sharing
Thank you Natalie ~ An absolute testament to an ‘absolute’ way of living.
For some reason seeing your picture makes this feel even more miraculous – to heal from bulimia is incredible, to be as vital and gorgeous as you are now and at ease in yourself, shows that you don’t have to keep living trapped in a hell of our own making. It is very inspirational!
Thank you Vanessa, when I read some of the comments it reminds me that yes, it is truly a miracle remembering how things were. There is so much more vitality and joy now in my life, but still more work to do on feeling completely at ease with myself. A work in progress that I feel so supported with by Universal Medicine – its teachings, modalities and the student body who are all walking the same path.
Anna, thank you for sharing how “through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices” you have turned your whole life around. Stories such as yours are true miracles, which one-day the whole world will sit up and take notice of. Such healing is available to all who make the choice as you did, to explore this for themselves and to take responsibility for their own choices starting with self-love and honesty.
Thank you Anne, it has been for me miraculous also, to look back and see how I was living, and the torment, and to feel my power and presence today ~ all from choosing to take those steps back to loving me. I am forever in appreciation to Universal Medicine, as this path for me continues to unfold, and the love I hold for myself (and others) continues to deepen.
Miraculous indeed the transformation – sometimes it is surprising to look back and see how lost we were and that the difference is in making loving choices and taking responsibilty
Hi Nicole, yes I love this, I am learning every day about choices and consequences. It changes the whole way we approach life when we ask ourselves how is it we want to live our lives, for what purpose. This, along with a huge stop in my life, has changed everything for me.
I agree Anne – this is a miracle. This demonstrates the power of self love and acceptance. Looking at the underlying energetic causes rather trying to address the symptoms. Anna has shown that through this, the symptoms resolve without effort.
I agree Anne, this a miracle, and one day the world will be aware of these miraculous turn arounds through simply making loving choices to confirm the love we are.
These are great comments for as I grow and deepen as a person, I can see more the power self love and self responsibility has in our lives. I see how powerful a testimony my shared experience truly is, but in honesty, I can also feel the reflection that there has still for me been some need of recognition in sharing this, and not just it being for all. I welcome feeling this as I know it offers me an opportunity to deepen in my own love for myself, filling more of the emptiness that creates that need in the first place.
That’s the main point isn’t it Anne, that true healing is available to everyone if they are willing to be more responsible, have greater love and care for themselves, and of course really actually want to heal.
Spot on Dean, this couldn’t be more true!
Great point shared here Dean. To take the steps towards healing is one thing but choosing to actually want to heal takes everything to a deeper level of responsibility.
It’s worth it though, isn’t it.?Every millimetre of understanding and true healing is worth it. It has healthy ramifications in every area of life.
Thanks Anna. I’m really glad you shared that excessive exercise after binging is apart of bulimia as well. I didn’t know that, as it is a taboo subject and no one talks about it. Everytime the conversation is opened up i realise more and more about my eating disorder and like you have experienced the healing that being myself brings !
I totally agree this is such a taboo subject. I’ve also shared my story of bulimia and like Anna, making this more accessible to others. It just shows Emily how powerful it is when we share what is going on for us, as it brings things out of hiding. Most of the time we get to see and appreciate how much it is not truly who we are anyway.
Yes Emily, excessive exercise is another way in which bulimics purge the calories of their binge. I would do both as sometimes I felt so guilty and shameful that I had to abuse myself a bit more. It’s crazy to look back at this for me now. There is no way I would harm my body again in this way.
Bulimia seems to be an extreme case but I wonder just how harmful many of our so-called ‘normal’ eating habits are? Many of us have a succession of uppers and downers during the day with uppers being coffee and sugar and downers being large quantities of food, comfort food and alcohol among others.
Each one of these strongly influence our mood and make our body either more racy or more sluggish. Doing this every day for years or decades is unlikely to be helpful to us.
I agree with you Christoph, this is what I have been learning recently. Yes, bulimia is an extreme of abusive behaviour, but anything we put in our body that disrupts its otherwise natural state of harmony is also abuse, like you say, overeating, coffee, alcohol etc. As it is more subtle, it appears easier to ignore these ones, until it becomes loud enough from the body that it really is exactly the same – abuse is abuse, regardless of the level. I feel one day we will all come to understand this. We are either love or not.
Sooooo true Christoph. There are so many so called ‘normal’ eating habits that we can definitely do without and are causing more harm then good. Have the masses follow the trend though and it is considered normal.
Thank you for sharing Anna and in that showing us the true power we hold within to heal ourselves.
Hi Deborah, yes I am only just beginning to realise the power within. We are amazing that is for certain, it’s just whether or not we choose it.
Yes that came through strongly for me too. The immense power we have within to heal ourselves when we choose to. Thanks for sharing your incredible story with us all Anna – deeply inspiring.
I saw this very clearly also Sarah, how every choice we make can either be towards loving ourselves or back peddling from love…. and there are a whole list of ways to do both. I have thought that making unloving choices are so easy to fall into compared to making loving ones but really after reading Anna’s story, the unloving abusive choices are horrendous to our whole being.
I agree Aimee, it amazes me how the body holds up against the amount of abuse we lay on it. For me it was bulimia – pure abuse through binging and purging and harsh exercise (all forms of abuse), but it can be as simple as a cup of coffee, a glass of alcohol, a cigarette, sadly these are the ones we shove under the carpet as being ok, BUT, they are all proven harmful substances to the body, therefore plain and simple these also are abuse.
What an incredible blog Anna, Thank you for sharing. I feel I will be reading this again and again to learn from it. The power of our choices, which has been presented by Universal Medicine, is in fact em-powering. Thank you for opening the door, and the discussion on Bulimia, your honest experiences, and healing journey. I feel the issues that society doesn’t want to talk about, need to be talked about in order to gain understanding from, and to help provide support, and to heal this worldwide issue.
Wow, that is exceptional that you healed bulimia.
Fascinating how easy is to leave behind something that is so present as a problem in one’s life. Fascinating also to know that leaving this behind opens a path where you can start really feeling what is natural for your body.
”Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices I have turned my whole life around”. Anna, your blog is a powerful reminder to us all that ‘miracles’ are not only possible, but become the new norm once we make choices that are in tune with our own body. Thank you for sharing your personal ‘miracle’.
Thank you for such an honest and deeply personal sharing Anna. The line that stood out for me was, ” I didn’t start attending these presentations and making different choices in an attempt to heal the bulimia. This was something I had long given up to be even possible for me.” This illustrates so profoundly to me that if we heal ourselves with self-love, through this process the temporal problems are taken care of. Your success with this is very inspiring.
“Change needs to …come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace.” Precisely, Anna, and that’s one of the best things I find about Serge Benhayon’s and Natalie Benhayon’s teachings – we are students of ourselves and our pace is up to us, not someone else’s ‘program’. This takes the pressure off and replaces it with acceptance and inspiration – so that no matter what issue we are dealing with, our way is clear of anyone else’s expectations and we have only our own rhythm to feel into and enjoy building for ourselves.
When you say “how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people” – that’s SO true, and I’ve noticed that for myself and many other people with ‘an issue’ like overweight, eating problems, shyness, or anything really, giving up on oneself is often a result of pressure and also a cause of deepening the issue. Thank Heaven for self-love and Universal Medicine!
Hi Dianne, your words for me were a beautiful reminder that this process is to be joyful as we deepen our relationship with ourselves . And why wouldn’t it be joyful, as we are indeed all heavenly beings! I shall look differently at getting to know myself – thank you.
Wow Anna, this is nothing short of amazing. It’s very interesting how you didn’t go in with the intention of trying to ‘fix’ your condition, but how making more loving and tender choices in your every day life just naturally allowed this to heal. Very inspirational, thank you for sharing.
Hi Melissa,
It is amazing how we are able to move away from abusive patterns in our life by simply choosing to be more aware and loving with ourselves. When I started listening to the philosophies of Universal Medicine it didn’t happen straight away, it was more a gradual change and certainly I had my fall backs, as it has/had been such a well developed momentum and form of coping (or in truth not coping) with life.
Food is still my thing, the thing I will go to whenever there is something I’m struggling with, or when I choose to leave my lovely self, but it is no longer the prison and cycle it was, rather an awareness and a sometimes choice to overeat or eat something I know doesn’t support me. This is a far cry from the pattern that imprisoned me for many years.
I am also now able to be gentle with myself and have a lot more understanding in those times when I choose to eat something that isn’t great for me. I know it now as being a milder form of abuse, but I can offer myself a different way of approaching it, by looking at what is underlying this and owning it. This makes all the difference.
It can be a very long road back from an eating disorder, and it is a credit to your dedication to self love and self care that you have come through it feeling so truly well and connected to the beautiful woman that you are. Your story would inspire many and deserves to be shared Anna.
Thank you, Anna, for your honesty and insights. An amazing sharing of the pain you went through physically and mentally and how all of this stopped when you realised that the changes that you wanted to occur only happened when you allowed yourself to truly care for yourself. Awesome.
Hi Anna, your blog shows the depth of healing which can come when we truly listen to our body and treat ourselves with the love and tenderness we come form.
What you describe is ‘amazing’: “What happened from here is nothing short of amazing. Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices I have turned my whole life around.” This is a true miracle and one that has occurred for me, I have turned around many behaviours in life that did not support me or reflect who I was, by coming back to a relationship with my body. Thank you for sharing and thank you Universal Medicine for the ongoing inspiration.
Anna your article has helped me understand what bulimia is in more detail. Whilst I used to think it was something a few girls in my school did because they wanted to fit into a different dress size I see just how limited my understanding was. What’s interesting is it comes back to the level of self care and self love we have for ourself and something that was also very much lacking in me as I grew up. Therefore whilst I didn’t have bulimia I can see all the things I did instead. It’s easy to judge others for doing something but firstly it would be wise for us to heal our own conditions and then perhaps there would be no judgement.
It is so often that self love can be seen as selfish, vain and up yourself when in fact it is completely opposite. I had fallen for this trap but Serge Benhayon’s presentations helped me to see this differently so bringing self love into my life and the healing this brings. Your article is such an inspiration and help to see there is a different way to live that can turn life and health round.
‘ I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people. ‘ this is simply beautiful! I am just at that point now, where I can feel I am deserving of a great life (where before I had given up on myself and life) and I am willing to accept the responsibility in full to create that…but, and this is the clincher, I do not have to do it alone. In fact the only way to truly do it is in co-creation with all my brothers and sisters here on earth (and some beyond 😉)
Thank you Anna for such a revealing blog. I really had no idea until a few years ago just what Bulimia entails and you have confirmed what it does to us. I am so glad that you were able to get off the Bulimia wheel and start living and healing your life, with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, Women’s Health and Natalie Benhayon. I’m sure there are many young people out there in this World that could really benefit from reading your blog. Thank you Anna
“There is simply no end to where self love can take us” … Gotta love that line Anna. What an amazing turnaround, a medical miracle in fact!
Well said Suzanne; it’s about coming back to acceptance and loving ourselves first. If we wait to love ourselves until we are perfect, it will never happen. We are worth all of the love we can give ourselves; we don’t have to ‘deserve’ it. We deserve it just by being. Then, from there, the issues are not so powerful anymore, and they lose their hold over us. Self-Love is an absolutely necessary part of our true evolution back to who we are.
You remind me Anna just how much we tend to leave unsaid, about the parts of life that bother us most, with some topics like Bulimia avoided at all costs. It’s great what you are sharing here, how your health lay not in defeating the issue but in making simple loving choices for yourself.
Hi Joseph,
There is no mistaking with Bulimia the hiding that takes place. This is what sets this disease apart, there is a real dishonesty running the show and hence everything is done in secrecy. The result is that one lives a lie, a facade taken on – a game of abuse and the consequent shame that follows. When this is not exposed and outed, it rots inside of us. This has certainly been my experience and so honesty has now become paramount in my life and as you say, turning life around through making more and more loving choices.
You ARE amazing Anna, a living miracle and your brilliance is truly inspiring. I can feel the absolute joy of you from what you have shared. I had also fallen into the trap of believing that loving myself meant that I was ‘stuck up’ an ‘ego maniac’ and that the term ‘she loves herself’ was a put down. Your transformation is a testament of the loving message that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presents, that within us is an untold wealth of love, joy and amazingness waiting to be connected to and lived. That to ‘love yourself’ is certainly the natural expression of our essence and with re-building this as a foundation it can improve our lives immensely in many ways, like rendering a domineering illnesses such as Bulimia, to insignificance, to naught.
Thank you Carola. The love I am feeling towards myself I now understand is the basis I take out to the world, and so I am certainly committed to being more and more ‘in love’ with me, more tender, more open….I don’t feel there is ever a stop point with this. And I love that with Universal Medicine there are so many others working on this same thing, many living such love for themselves and for all, it is very inspiring, as well as exposing to be around those who are so open when we have not chosen this for ourselves, but it is worth it.
Thank-you Anna for this post which could be greatly inspiring for others who have bulimia to read. I really like – “I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people”.
A very tender sharing of the understanding of bulimia and how bringing self-love into our lives heals so many ingrained ills. Thank you Anna.
Absolute truth Mary, ‘how bringing self-love into our lives heals so many ingrained ills’. Self-love as presented by Universal Medicine is the missing ingredient in Conventional Medicine. This is one of the reason why Universal Medicine modalities work so well as complementary to Conventional Medicine.
It was self love (in the form of self acceptance and understanding), that for me began the true healing of the Bulimia. I have found acceptance and understanding to be life changing.
Universal Medicine presents the power of self-love in a very practical way and that how you live is medicine. There is something quite profound about how with the help if Universal Medicine people like Anna here have been able to turn their lives around so quickly, and so completely.
What an incredible story! It is amazing how normally we focus on the obvious problem, the food, the overexercising etc. Yet it was learning to accept and understand people and all that happens in the world that allowed you to start to heal. Learning to love and honour ourselves is natural – we just need reminding sometimes! Self love is like a soothing balm that lets us reconnect to love and start to live it in simple, joy filled ways each day.
As we start to feel self-love our relationship to food just naturally starts to evolve, and THIS is the message that the world needs to hear and understand, and then it is, at least in my experience, an ongoing evolution.
Wow Anna thank you for your honest description about what Bulimia really is and how you heal yourself with loving choices and self care. I am not sure if you like to go out and talk about your experiences openly – for me that would be great because you are a living testimonial that healing Bulimia is possible. You shared with us:” (People) . . . are able to hide this disease so easily from the outside world, whilst secretly living behind closed doors with so much pain and torment.” Perhaps it would be nice to listen to you from behind this closed doors . . .
An absolutely amazing and affirming story of how when one choose to make self loving and caring choices what is possible. This is what the media should be focusing on, rather than attacking Universal Medicine to sell its publications.
Thank you Anna for having the courage to share your incredible experience with us all.
Thank you Anna and Thomas, I agree, front-page news, about the miracles that are just a normal part of life when we start to make loving choices, should be reported worldwide. The presentations by Serge Benhayon have brought a focus back to being loving in all we do.
Hi Greg, this is true, there are countless stories to attest to the value Universal Medicine has brought so many – and this is definitely news worthy.
Hi Anna, I understand that it takes humanity a long time to accept the truth. The students of the Livingness are sharing the news as a miracle today. Maybe one-day people will accept the truth and revelations that have evolved the students through the presentations of Serge Benhayon!
Yes, I love that phrase also Ingrid ‘to tend’. Whenever something is going on for me and I am not feeling myself, to tend to myself is a great choice to make. To feel, what is it that is really going on for me, and what do I need to do to bring myself back to feeling my amazingness once again. This is the tending, taking the time to support myself.
I loved your honesty that flowed through this amazing blog Anna, showing me that you now have nothing to hide, as you did for so long, and so painfully. There was one phrase that jumped out for me, and that was, “tend to myself”. We talk of tending our garden, tending our animals, but very rarely have I heard it used in tending to ourselves. And this is exactly what I can feel you have done for yourself, with no expectations, just the choice to tend to yourself more lovingly than you had ever done before, and what has flowed from that choice has been so inspiring.
Thank you Anna, it is humbling to read how you have slowly and lovingly embraced all that you are and have begun to heal from the past abuse to your body.
Anna, your blog is so inspiring. The healing power of self care and self love is extraordinary. To read that you woke up one morning (after a period of time applying self care and self love into your day) and the thought of food was not there, just you waking up to you, is amazing. Your experience shows how self love is the antidote to the many ills and diseases we have in society.
Such a powerful blog Anna, thank you for being so honest and so real sharing how through the help of Universal Medicine and your commitment to love honour and listen to your body you where able to heal bulimia. This is a story that would benefit every eating Disorders clinic in the world to have on display.
Anna what a inspiring insight into understanding Bulimia. Having struggled with my weight in the other extreme I noticed the similarities of feeling the pain and hurt of living in this body and not knowing where to go. Like you Universal Medicine supported me in realising the choices I made were not coming from the true me but the part that needed healing. An inspirational blog for me. A big thank you Anna for sharing this.
Beautiful to read Anna, thank you for sharing this.”I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light.”
Thanks for sharing your experiences so openly and honestly Anna, and awesome to read the comments too. As you and others have expressed, bulimia isn’t about the food, but about the numbing of the feelings of emptiness, lack of self-worth and self-acceptance. It is a self-perpetuating cycle because every time you play into the patterns of the disease, the self-loathing increases. The more out of control it becomes, the more desperate you feel. It’s amazing to read how you have healed this by making self loving choices and taking responsibility.
Yes David, if you look at a lot of the comments on this blog you will see that this is something that stands out for many. So often, and something I am really coming to see in myself, is how we tend to focus on the issue, making it more of an issue, rather then seeing that it is actually just a step away from love, and that if we just step back, a little more deepening our relationship with love for and with ourselves, this is everything. This is what truly heals.
Well said Anna. We are only where we are at by a choice we continually make while our innate amazingness is forever knocking at our door.
So beautifully expressed Anna and David thank you. It is a glorious choice to make to deepen our own connection with ourselves which brings us back to the light and love we all innately are.
Anna it’s very inspiring to understand that something you had long given up on healing, Bulimia, was actually healed without you trying to heal it but instead as a natural part of the love and care you took for yourself. It shows us a very different way than constantly trying to fix and solve conditions and instead focus on the care and love first.
Anna, this is an incredible article, so powerfully written taking us from the tortuous prison of Bulimia to the joy of you living you. From your description of bulimia and what that felt like to you, I could feel how not being able to accept the light that we are plays out in less extreme ways in so many people’s lives…the desire to eat to numb or sabotage ourselves lest we feel amazing. This would suggest that there is that huge sadness you talk about, is a very common thing.
This is so true Rosanna, I know this feeling of eating that little extra portion, which fills me up a little more than necessary and subsequently I am not as connected to my glorious self, which brings up a heaviness and this sadness.
Totally Judith, the subtle overeating doesn’t present like the extremes of bulimia, but from my more recent experience, it is still the same energy and can have the same impact, resulting in sadness, and feelings of shame and guilt if we allow it.
Yes I agree Anna, it is a more “behaved” or controlled form of the same energy. Which once again shows that bettering ourself and being “good” is not the solution. Unless we change the energy that is running us we remain in the same mess – it just looks better on the outside. But in the end it is just a question of how long are we able to keep it up before we let it slide and go into another extreme.
‘That little extra portion’. How often were we taught as children to ‘eat it all up, we can’t afford to waste food.’ That one is huge with me, I am having to learn to look at waste just as energy being transformed – it’s an ongoing process.
Yes Catherine, I know that one as well. Or ‘you’re not having desert unless you eat ALL your dinner’. I look at the insidiousness of this statement and yet I too have since used it with my own children. It is time we really start looking at how we approach food and the hold it has over us. How is takes us away from who we truly are.
I never realised how many different ways that bulimia could effect a person until reading this article. I actually thought it was as simple as over indulging in food and then vomiting it to be rid of it. All the mind games that it plays on the person involved and physical toll it takes on the body is sadly so very abusive. Thank-you for giving me a deeper understanding why some choose to go down this road and how it effects the body and the mental torture it imposes on the person. To know that it is possible to change this way of being and have chosen to connect back to the lovely person that you express in how you are today is truly inspiring.
It is so lovely and I deeply appreciate all the comments written in response to this blog. For me it is a confirmation of how by reflection, and if we are open to it, we can support each other’s healing and evolution along the way.
Wow powerful blog Anna, a great testimony to the healing power of true self care.
Thank you for sharing your story.
What you describe in your healing of bulimia in your body is an absolute miracle Anna and what is truly joyful to feel is you know there is more, more of you to come, this is only the beginning … A joyful celebration and a testament to what Universal Medicine can deliver to us all. Thank you for sharing your amazing revelations.
Thank you Suzanne. The teachings of Universal Medicine are a true gift for all of humanity and every single individual within it. We each have our own path to tread back in healing ourselves, and the spherical nature of the UM teachings covers every aspect of this. I feel absolutely blessed to have found Universal Medicine – hence this blog and sharing.
Beautiful Anna, thank you for sharing how your choices to be more self loving, tender and responsible for yourself just naturally lead to healing your bulimia, rather than focussing on the bulimia and trying to fix it from the outside in. It’s lovely to feel your surrender in just allowing it to be, taking your time, not judging yourself and just working on building on your self-love.
I felt that too, Melissa, bulimia was not Anna, and it was beautiful to read that as she became more of who she is the bulimia stopped. Bulimia iseems an extreme habit, and Anna became free of it in a way that we can all become free of habits which do not serve us. This is an inspiration for me.
What strikes me is your description of not only that the end of each day left you feeling wretched about yourself, but that it starts from the moment you wake up, anxiously considering your ‘strategy’ of how you were going to manage the illness. What a prison. So the blessing of being free of that must be immense, and lovely to hear.
Yes Simon, it does feel amazing to not have to wake up to the tension and anxiety that once plagued me. These days I wake up with the beauty of who I am, and although there is more (I can feel it), more joy, more embracing of life that I could be waking to, I am well on the way and that itself is brilliant.
Thank you Simon and Anna, to help get a grip on how we ‘anxiously consider our strategies’ visit the on line course.
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Anna this line stood out to me ‘ in fact I discovered that it is actually very natural to love and care for me ” after many years of abusing my body I too found this to be thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon I chose to love and care for myself and it does feel very natural.
Beautiful Ruth.
A beautiful sharing, thankyou Anna. “What was presented to me was that change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace.” No pressure, just huge understanding and acceptance for ourselves – then we can begin to love ourselves – that is what I have found within Universal Medicine.
Sue a lovely part of Anna’s sharing to highlight. My experience has been the same as yours – a consistent love and support by Universal Medicine to appreciate and accept ourselves as we make loving choices.
Thank you Anna, Sue and David, I agree, taking responsibility for one’s choices is a corner stone of Universal Medicine presentations.
Anna, your article is a powerful testimony to how deeply healing self care, self love and acceptance is. Thank you.
True Ruth. Anna’s tremendous success with her health, which is exemplary and against the trend of what most people experience when trying to heal that illness, also highlights the deep integrity of Universal Medicine.
Anna your story of healing Bulimia though the simple choice to self-love is amazing and shows that the deeper the love of oneself, the less abuse is accepted, and the more our glory can be.
Thank You Anna quite an amazing illustration of how you have turned your life around
You make it so very clear that bulimia at its core has nothing to do with wanting to be thin, but everything to do with self-loathing, not accepting and trying to bury and silence one’s pain.
You nailed it Gabriele, it has naught to do with food really either. This is purely the mechanism in which it plays out.
Yes, absolutely, Gabriele, eating disorders aren’t caused by issues with food, eating or not eating – but by a deep lack of acceptance in life, lack of self worth, feeling unworthy of love. The resulting behaviours are only tools to suppress and numb the inner hurt.
The behaviours can never make the pain go away, which is why it so often intensifies – in the hope it will bring relief – from a pain that cannot be relieved… which is followed by the desperation that there is no way out. This deeper understanding is so valuable Anna, in unlocking the ‘prison’ and repetitive cycle of an eating disorder, bringing healing to the true issues underneath.
Thank you Kylie, for your deep understanding and clarity.
Thank you Kylie and Anna, this wisdom that you speak is the missing link that needs to be reconnected to by a society that does shun away eating disorders in the ‘too hard’ basket. It is devastating to see women suffer from eating disorders and as you say Kylie, what can be seen is a woman who has no sense of her own worth, a deep self-loathing for herself and a giving up on life. True support can only come from the understanding of what is at the root cause of this issue, which has not taken place in our society at large to date.
What you speak of here Kylie really helps to highlight the vicious complex cycle of abuse that people can get stuck in with Bulimia. My childhood best friend died in her 30’s from complications to do with Bulimia – in the end the physical damage to her body was too severe. She so desperately wanted to get off the the cycle yet wasn’t able to.
‘eating disorders aren’t caused by issues with food, eating or not eating – but by a deep lack of acceptance in life, lack of self worth, feeling unworthy of love. The resulting behaviours are only tools to suppress and numb the inner hurt’. Reading this comment again today Kylie you pretty much summed up my life, and then all that followed. What I take from this is the importance to steadily and continually build self appreciation and self love – it is the antidote to the other.
Such an honest and insightful sharing by Anna. It has made me look at the ways in which I express my own self-loathing, and found much to work with. Thank you.
Thank you Catherine, there seems to always be a deeper level of honesty to go to, particularly on the subject of food, although the real issue is of course our relationship with ourself and with life – the food just gives us an opportunity to see how this is playing out more clearly.
Thank you ladies, this is an amazing insight into bulimia and so called eating disorders and everything we need to know to offer true healing to ourselves and others. Self love is such a profound tool to introduce into ones life.
So beautifully summarised Gabriele.
Totally agree Sara, Gabriele has hit the nail on the head.
How true Gabriele.
Thank you for this clear and concise comment, summed up very well.
Thank you Anna and Gabriele, I agree, and so many other conditions can also be attributed ‘to do with self-loathing, not accepting and trying to bury and silence one’s pain.’ The ‘GOLD’ in this blog is that no matter what one uses as a tool to not feel, when self-love is reintroduced as presented by Serge Benhayon, it becomes possible to see any issue for what it truly is.
I agree Greg, with self love on our sides, we can feel anything. As it builds, we have foundation with which to approach life knowing that the hurts are just that, hurts, but not who we are.
Exactly Anna, every thing that is not at least loving in our body, is felt as a hurt. Our body shares the pain of that loveless experience, and then our emotional hurts are felt as ‘not who we are’.
Very true Gabrielle, when I was suffering from Bulimia, I had thought it was about wanting to be thinner, to look more beautiful, but as Kylie has gone to point out here, it was so much deeper than this, the issue.
Dear Anna, thank you for sharing your story and how you healed your bulimia. What a change you have made from self-abuse to being an inspiration to so many of how to love ourselves. The biggest one for me is the honouring what I’m feeling. That is so huge, because if we don’t, we hurt and want to bury that feeling of hurt, by hurting ourselves more – that’s my experience anyway. If I don’t honour what I’m feeling, it’s so easy to slip into unloving patterns from there.
Dear Esther, I find what you are speaking of here to be a constant work in progress. I find the honouring to be challenging sometimes, but for me it always comes down to whether I am accepting myself in full – or not. When I am accepting, I am willing to honour.
This is a great point Anna, and a great discussion Esther, as self-abuse has been one behaviour I mastered very well over the years. Crazy when you say it out loud, but a huge issue and something to really be aware of, even when you think things are going well, I have found there to be other layers that can very easily be over looked.
An amazing transformation Anna. Eating disorders are very much a self imposed prison of self abuse. Learning to love and accept ourselves through gentle self care is simple yet so profound. It makes so much sense.
So simple, and so profound, I agree Karen, thank you.
Congratulations on overcoming this terribly destructive and debilitating condition which seems to particularly aim at destroying one’s self-love and self-esteem. How fortunate we are to be able to call on Serge Benhayon and the Practitioners of Universal Medicine for their powerful assistance in times of need. We know that we will receive all the love and support they can possibly give, along with that of all the members of Universal Medicine. We never feel alone.
It’s interesting how you word this Jo. What I have found is that it is not the illness as such that aims at destroying one’s self love and self esteem, for this has already been chosen. The illness plays out as a result of the choice to not self love, to not accept, and it then perpetuates itself, a never ending cycle of behaviour that gains in momentum until one stops and begins to accept and self love once again.
There is a such a learning in this article regardless of whether we suffer bulimia or not. I can look at my life and I now see it is crazy how little regard I have had for myself. Every message says that being self caring is selfish, but how can that be so when it allows us to feel so much better. It feels true that we can only love and care for another with the level of love we permiss ourselves to have which makes sense then that ensuring we are loving ourselves is the only way to be.
Spot on Stephen.
Isn’t it interesting to find that when we attend the presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine with our ailments and not intending to heal them that when we do begin to make a choice to apply the teachings in our everyday lives our ailments disappear. I hear of so many losing weight like this and it goes to show the power of the way of the livingness that Serge forever presents.
Thank you for highlighting this Caroline. What Serge Benhayon presents to us is a way of being that is full of love, and full to the brim of ourselves. He is inspiration on legs!
Anna, I love your openness in sharing your experience of bulimia – it is so important to be able to talk about these taboo subjects and in this way allow all people who might be going through a similar experience to firstly know that they are not alone, that there is a way of understanding how and why these choices come about, and that there is a way of making choices and changes that allow for a life without this form of self abuse. Very beautifully shared – thanks Anna!
Self love is our natural way of being. We are all self-loving as children, until bit by bit it is broken down by life and others. It is very beautiful to read that you found your way back to your naturally self-loving Self. I am inspired to love myself more, and to express more lovingly – because as you expressed, I too feel there is so much more.
It is incredible what happens when self-love is allowed back into our lives. So much changes in so many ways. Self-love is deeply healing and what has been shared in this blog is a testament to its healing power – very powerful indeed. Thank you for sharing your story, Anna.
What an honest sharing Anna. Great how you have claimed what is possible when you feel self-love, but also when you have the support and great teachings of Serge and Natalie Benhayon. You are amazing and a living miracle. Congratulations on the choices you have made to be the gorgeous, wonderful woman you are.
Thank you Simone, my understanding of this disease has afforded me the opportunity to now support others with this illness. Soon I will be offering sessions as a nutritionist with a background and personal experience in this area. I very much look forward to offering support and inspiration, just as Natalie and Serge Benhayon have offered me.
What a beautiful service Anna. Your light, support, inspiration and experience will be a precious gift to humanity.
When we try to remove these abusive behaviours we are still focusing on the self-abuse, targeting it and putting all our energy into making sure it is gone. This technique can work but from experience it is only a short term solution because once we stop focusing it comes back in. A horrible circle of being deep into the abuse, seeking an answer, feeling ‘better’ then relaxing without addressing what caused the abuse in the first place.
But when we focus on loving and caring for ourselves and we feel lighter for doing so, we want to do that more and more, a focus that keeps itself going without effort or trying. And when something ugly does come up, the more I care for myself the more I feel worth keeping that feeling of supporting myself – the pull to hurt myself is not as strong.
This is still a work in progress but from what I have seen in myself and in others, personally or through blogs like this, self-care and self-love are the greatest forms of healing for abusive behaviours I have ever come across.
I agree Leigh, when we focus on loving and caring for ourselves what this allows is for us to get to what is underneath the abuse, the root cause so to speak. The love we offer ourselves puts a stop to the act of the abuse, but also brings the opportunity for greater awareness and understanding. For me with the bulimia, the understanding I have come to is that I was struggling with acceptance. Acceptance of myself, and acceptance of life and all that is going on in life. Because I wasn’t accepting, I then was looking to numb and dull myself to not have to feel what I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) accept, and so with Bulimia my experience has been that it comes from a lack of acceptance. Other forms of self abuse may have a different origin or birth but certainly starting with self love and self care offers us the space to explore and deepen our understanding of ourselves with these conditions.
Anna thank you for sharing your journey from bulimia to a life of joy and Love. I have not known anyone with the condition before, but have only read articles in magazines, and hearing, reading your story I have a clearer insight into just how all consuming this disease is and affects everyone around you in some way.
To have made such as change in your life through self love and taking responsibility for caring for yourself in every way is incredible. The support of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon is as testament to the teaching and presentations they share with us all. Congratulations Anna.
Thank you for sharing Anna. Yes, it has been a taboo topic for so long and your blog is inspiring and supportive for others experiencing this. I have had eating disorders for most of my life, however the way I am choosing to live my life now has eased this issue for me to the point of hardly being there at all.
That is great to hear Heidi, that you too are coming to a greater love and acceptance of yourself. Something to celebrate.
So true Doug, self-love is such a dirty word!! yet as Anna so clearly shows it was crucial in her struggle with bulimia.
Imagine what would happen if most people posted on face book, “I love myself, I really, really, love myself” I am not sure that there would be a lot of positive feedback or whether people would take it seriously at all. Some may just have silence as others are too awkward to answer and some would have a million people give them Sh*t and make fun of them.
BUT seriously, anyone who has a child would love dearly for them to grow up loving themselves and totally accepting themselves, so why would we not actually want that to be expressed or felt by everyone normally in society. It is a strange one, for sure!
The secrecy and shame of bulimia parallels the secrecy and shame of loving yourself.
What an incredibly honest story! What you share provides an understanding for others with bulimia and everyone else too. Taking responsibility, along with self-love and care are the first step to healing all our ills.
I found it interesting that you say you tried every modality from “east to west” – and this seems to be a theme in these blogs – so many people have “tried everything” that never really worked until they came to the teachings of Universal Medicine – where once a good dose of self responsibility was taken – life started to change. Interesting.
I agree anonymous, so many people have given up trying, I know I had. Universal Medicine found me as much as I found it. I feel so incredibly blessed as it has given me back to me, in understanding responsibility and that my life is a reflection of my own choices and therefore totally of my own making. Looking at it this way, it’s like, well how do I want to live? How do I want my life to be? AND how much time do I want to waste thinking I am unworthy, when I know this is simply not the truth, for any of us.
Hi Toni, I do agree with you, this is why as a patient years ago I felt so frustrated in my search for true support, as no one really knew what to do with me, and I imagine it is very much the same for others with this illness. At the time I was looking for answers, for someone to tell me how to stop. I didn’t understand why I was doing it. Universal Medicine didn’t give me the answers either, but what it did do was allow me to deepen my understanding of myself through developing greater awareness of what was triggering me to behave in this way. This gradually came about through the simple practice of self care and self love. So I understand now how everyone’s process of healing, no matter what the condition is very much our own unfolding and begins with simple self love and care.
This is an extremely important article. There are so many people receiving true healing of actual clinical conditions and these stories need to be told. The more I read, the more I realise that Universal Medicine offers the most incredibly simple and straight forward ways of living healthily. The reason that they are so popular and really taking off, is because people just connect with the simplicity and truth of them, that they feel within. This empowers people to make the loving choices necessary to change.
Thanks for writing this Anna I have had no first hand experience with this disorder so reading your blog has given me a better understanding of this condition. Although I have never had an actual physical disease I have struggled all my life with self doubt, lack of worth and a strong tendency to think that I am not good at anything, so reading your blog is a healing in itself to stay committed to self love and building on it.
Absolutely Kevin, Anna’s blog so clearly presents the power of self acceptance through more self-loving choices, which I feel can apply to all of us plagued by self doubt and lack of confidence.
Gorgeous sharing, Anna. While I have not suffered with this particular condition, I can resonate with many of the feelings you have shared.
I love this spherical expression: “I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light. ”
This is so true, for all of us, wherever we have gone to, and are coming back from.
Thank you Anne, it is so true for all of us – to hold ourselves in the deepest regard and from here hold others in the same light – no matter whom, what or where any of us have been. Beautifully said.
Thanks Anna for sharing your blog. I had not realised until of late that I had lived with a form of Bulimia, in that I over ate and then worked my body hard with exercise and physical work to compensate for the over eating. Looking at it now, it was a great game of dishonesty, of not wanting to be exposed for where I was at, an emptiness full of a lack of confidence, lack of self worth, lack of self love and then trying to fill this with food, hurting the body in both eating and exercising and living with migraines brought on by this behaviour. And to top it off living a pretentious life and having the gall to say I cared and was conscious about the health and fitness of my body.
Beautiful, honest, and amazing sharing Anna. Thank you-your blog has given me a deeper understanding of my own behaviour in my teens and early 20’s.
I can now allow a deeper level of healing and acceptance and start to truly selflove again without sabotaging it .
Your sharing is so beautiful Anna. The simplicity of what you have presented is a gift for us all.
Before I read this blog I had little understanding of bulimia, what it would be like to live with it and how much it can so dominate day-to-day life. As you say Anna, you did not start to attend Universal Medicine presentations “in an attempt to heal the bulimia. This was something I had long given up to be even possible for me.” The key here was that you were willing to take responsibility for your own choices. As you say, ‘we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace.”
Once we are willing to make this step, then what happens after is nothing short of amazing.”
Beautiful Simone, I love your honesty and how simple you make it that it really is just different forms of self abuse we choose to not feel and ACCEPT ourselves and life.
Thank You Anna for your blog and sharing, I too had experienced this torment and self abuse for many years in my teens mainly and the only reason that there were not greater bouts of it was because I found that heavy drug abuse was also a way where I could abuse myself and numb out the pain and misery of my life at that time. Self abuse has been one of the hardest things for me to clear, but thanks to Universal Medicine slowly I too am learning to truly love and appreciate my beautiful body and precious self.
Thanks Anna for sharing your story with so much honesty. Your blog has given me a deeper understanding of bulimia that I didn’t have before. How revealing of the power of self love that you didn’t actually try and heal the bulimia itself, but instead focussed on self-love and your own connection and as a result the bulimia was no more. Wow! Now that’s a story that needs to be told wide and far.
Thanks Donna, feel free to share far and wide!
Thank you Anna for expressing with such honesty. I totally agree with you in that everyone can make more loving choices for themselves but it has to come in their own time. You simply felt the pull to return to the truth and love that was already within you.
Anna when I read your story about you breaking out of the ‘prison’ of self-hatred known as bulimia, through learning to accept love and appreciate yourself, I am struck by the miracle of love … and now you have added that it is something that comes from deep within … that inspires me to deepen my self-appreciation too as the ‘prison’ comes in many forms and guises.
Thank you Anne, self appreciation is a very powerful tool for us all.
Thank you for sharing your story Anna. So many of us abuse ourselves in different ways because we lack a true care and love for ourselves. I find it interesting to ponder on why or how we could not love the body we are in. The body that has been with us through everything we have experienced. I too am learning to truly love and appreciate myself and your story is an inspiration.
Thank you Lee, I love what you have written about learning to truly love and appreciate yourself as I feel we all are and will never stop. There is always more. These days for me I am learning that true love equates to a true acceptance and understanding of myself and life. It is not just in the practicals, but something that comes from deep within my being.
You make a great point here Anna, that true love equates to a true acceptance and understanding of ourselves and life. Without this there is a constant torment and fight within ourselves.
I did not have a clear understanding of Bulimia so thank you Anna for this beautiful sharing. Through your experience it was lovely to read your words “I have learnt to make light of situations, to have fun and not take things so seriously. It is wonderful when we allow joy to come back into our lives it brings about a sense of fun and playfulness that we knew all along was there but was hidden.
Dear Anna, thank you for a beautiful blog, I hadn’t realised how much pain and torment Bulimna brings to people. It is amazing to see how the power of self love, taking responsibility and making different choices has change your life. I too lived most of my life with the belief that self love was selfish, but now I know differently thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Beautiful article Anna, thankyou for sharing. When you said with regard to your bulimia you were ‘able to hide this disease so easily from the outside world, whilst secretly living behind closed doors with so much pain and torment’ I could not help but feel of all the diseases and illnesses that people hide from the world and struggle with alone. Our body is a marker of truth and we must listen to its symptoms which are actually its cry for help and healing.
I totally agree Suse. We hide so much of what is going on for us even unto ourselves. Not only that which is in our bodies but our minds also. For many we are masters of pretending, ignoring, and overriding…..but we have to stop and be honest and to do this very tenderly and lovingly. I have found it is the only way back to a life worth living.
Thank you Anna, a blog that paints a picture for me around how we simply trust, let go and become the love that we are. Then we heal our-self, with the amazing help of people who are truly supportive and loving!
Beautifully said Greg. We do heal ourselves, and from my own tried experience, no one can do this for us, however the support and love from others who have walked a little further on the path back to themselves goes a long way.
Totally agree Anna, our brothers and sisters who have walked a little further in the shoes of love – what an inspiration they are.
I agree Anna, divine support is always welcome!
Anna even though this article was written several years ago, its powerful and detailed honesty and central message of the benefit of attuning to our bodies and feeling what is being communicated, is just as vital as when you wrote it – but always as you say, at our own time and pace.
Yes Alan, at our own pace and time I would agree. Understanding being key here. Understanding, dedication and a ‘certain’ commitment to ourselves, to love and to truth – the ingredients for an amazing life.
Thank you for this sharing Anna. It is articles like this that need to be written and read even more, as we know there are still these disorders affecting us a society.
I agree Rachel, one of the things about this kind of disorder is that it isn’t spoken about enough. Always what is most hidden is the most difficult to heal.
Thank you Anna for sharing your story, you’ve come a long way and it’s an inspiration to me.
Thank you Anna for such an honest account of what Bulimia is and how you have turned your life around. It has really helped me understand it a lot better. Food, is a big topic for people, whether its over eating to numb or hide or under nourishing oneself I’m sure, has touched most women (and men) in society at some part in their life. And if we stop to check-in with ourselves before we put hand to mouth, it is probably good to ask oneself… what am I feeding here?… Am I nourishing my body because its hungry or am I feeding my emotions instead? Thanks Anna too, for reminding us about being loving and gentle to our body, as that certainly does feed us back more than food ever can. Your life story here about Bulimia needs to be heard by all the many people that are tortured by this dis-ease… Go girl!
I love that you raise this Johanne. Even though I have healed my bulimia in that I no longer binge eat and purge, and my thoughts no longer plague me around food, there is definitely still an element of comfort in my diet. By this I mean that I have recognised certain foods that don’t do well for me, and these are not necessarily ‘bad’ foods by any means, simply that I have recognised that some of the foods I choose to eat leave me feeling gassy or bloated or heavy, and yet I still have not made a firm commitment to myself to remove these foods all together from my diet. This is ok, and I am not giving myself a hard time for this, but rather an observation.
Some people may see this as harsh or extreme, but to me, listening to and honouring the body is not harsh or extreme at all. It is merely a question of whether or not I am ready to step to another level of loving myself. Making a deeper commitment to my body and being.
Thank you Natasha, your words have allowed me to reflect on how far I too have come and to appreciate the amazing changes I have made in my life over the past few years.
Anna your blog brought a tear to my eye. I too was tormented by choosing to over eat for a majority of my life. The deep despair and aching feeling of wanting it to all stop but not knowing how would plague me everyday. My life became all about numbing and not feeling what was truly going on for me. The work of Universal Medicine and many practioners supported me back to connecting to my beautiful self and I had realised that the weight was just a huge cover stopping me from allowing others to truly meet me. Thank you for a timely reminder. This has allowed me to once again appreciate ME and what I have chosen to heal over the years.
Great read thanks Anna. I too can relate to what you said about associating self love with selfishness. I still often think what would my mother say now. It used to always be ‘don’t go getting tickets on yourself” and back then I was a million miles from self love, self respect or anything anywhere near self. I’m sure where ever she is she can feel how amazing I am now and how much self love I have thanks to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Great topic Margaret, and something we should talk much more about. How many of us have been raised to feel (or think) that it is wrong to celebrate and claim how amazing we are (my hand is up) and to no fault of my family, friends, teachers or peers. It has been a driving belief that is age old, and has embedded itself into society like a tapeworm – sucking the life out of so many. I am truly only now learning what it means to really claim myself. I find Natalie Benhayon a huge inspiration in this. When recently asking her to share with me something amazing she saw about my life, up there in the top 5 was ‘hey, I’m in it’ – and she meant this with every syllable. It was palpable. Now that’s self love, and that’s claiming it. I would have been to afraid to say this to another, let alone truly truly believe it as she does. The love she has for herself with no shame in hiding it, is truly phenomenal – and I’m so going there!
Thank you for giving us a clear understanding on Bulimia and why some women and men choose to have it and also reminding us of the importance of self love.
Easily straight forward thinking, self care and self-love. Simple tools to increase our self worth.
Lack of self worth being the problem to so many of society’s problems
Simple let’s take action.
It is such a selfish illusion itself to proliferate the lie that self-love is selfish. For this comes from the selfishness of those who wish to continue to use those around them to comfort and buffer them from the reality of their own loveless choices.
In self-love, we learn to love ourselves, so that we can truly love another. This is the polar opposite to selfishness.
Hi Connor, for me I feel it like this. Love holds all, both self love and selfishness, and only a truly loving approach will allow all to return to love.
A really accessible presentation on the truly self-made prison that is an eating disorder. Your blog is a testimony to the fact that there can be life beyond bulimia when we choose to take responsibility for our choices, the first one being to begin to love ourselves.
Thank you Cathy, beginning to love ourselves is certainly life changing.
Thank you Doug, that is beautiful.
It is very true that self love is strongly, and negatively associated with vanity. It is almost worn as a badge of honour that we should never speak kindly of ourselves. But how many of our ills could be eradicated if self care and self appreciation were valued and seen for the healthy expression that they are. This is not about being too big for your boots or above yourself or any others, and certainly not something that we should be ashamed of or hide.
‘Allowing’ self care and self love has been, and is, a big learning curve for me, though I understand that I need to nurture and claim who I am. I have found replacing ‘selfish’ with ‘self valuing’ has been helpful when removing some of those badges of self deprecation
For me too Kathie – the learning curve continues. I also have found the words ‘self value’ to be very supportive. Do I truly value myself? How and where can I value myself more? I am finding that there is always room for more. One day it might be more appreciation that I am being asked to lend myself, the next it may be more tenderness. All these things add up, and when we commit to bringing more, and not remaining stagnant in where we are at, the love just keeps building. Funny because the more love I feel within myself and for myself, it feels a very familiar and natural way of being – it’s just that for many of us we have allowed so much in the way of it.
Yes Stephen, I agree. Breaking through the old belief and pressure from society to as you say ‘never speak kindly to ourselves’ or love ourselves completely can be a challenge. It is not until we have had enough of the pain this brings to ourselves and to others. To love ourselves completely is what is so needed in this world, and something I am committed to more each day as each day presents more of how to expand this love, whether it be through more tenderness, more understanding, more appreciation, more true nurturing, honouring more deeply our rhythm and cycle – all of these things I am finding allow for a deepening of the love I hold for myself and then for others. This is the beautiful unfolding of our own love, and the return to a way of being that knows only love and nothing else.
Your artilcle is honest and clear and shows us what it is like to be trapped in a Bulimic cycle. What stands out for me is how the Bulimic behaviour stopped not because of an objective you set yourself, but when you started to love and care for yourself. A testimony of the power we have to transform our lives when we make loving choices..
Anna this is a great exposure of the catch22 situation we allow ourselves to get caught up in. Thank you for expanding on it so clearly and showing how simple it really is.
Yes, I just got from your sharing how it shows that when we ‘try’ to stop or change something in our lives it becomes a challenge that we set up for ourselves – and therefore the opening for us to beat ourselves up if and when we don’t succeed. However when we stop trying and start surrendering to a more loving way of being and living, these patterns naturally fall away. Very powerful, thank you for your wisdom and insight.
Thanks so much for sharing your story Anna, this is exactly what the press should be getting hold of and printing so people can learn there is another way. It would be so healing for the many people that have this disorder and also those that have family and friend with it. Isn’t it just so wrong how we are conditioned to believe that self love is selfishness , vain, or being ‘up yourself’, rather convenient don’t you think? So here’s to self love, tenderness and Universal Medicine
Hi Kevin, yes it is very convenient that this is conditioned from such a young age in society – but also what I have come to realise is that it is a choice to take this on, to not stand up for love and truth and show that loving ourselves in full is actually our normal, not the other, and to hold in that truth no matter what. For me, it was super convenient to not have to stand out in this way as being all loving, but to put myself down, never be enough, always strive to be something else or something more because i was refusing to accept who I was – and deep down I knew who I was was so amazing and equal to all others, but I was refusing to accept the simplicity of this, and in doing so got caught up in all sorts of other stuff. I didn’t want to stand out and go against the grain – but at the same time I was desperate for recognition because I was void of myself – denying myself ME. Absolutely crazy when we see it in this way.
Today I am no longer afraid to show how lovely I am, though it is still just the beginning and I am only just starting to feel comfortable being myself and allowing others to see the real me.
I definitely agree that others could benefit from my experience and learning, even just to share with another can offer such a huge healing for all of us.
Beautiful Jane, ‘it is’ actually very natural to love and care for me, and yet still at times I know I can find myself being hard, or a little too intense with myself – complicating the simplicity and love that is naturally there. I feel there are so many layers to these old patterns of hardness that do not resound with the qualities of the inner heart. For me it is simply a matter of learning to not give power to the other, recognising when I am or have, and coming back to the simplicity of loving myself. Thank you for sharing.
Hear, Hear Kevin – it’s very crazy and a massive set up that we feed this belief. I remember at high school was when I first started to believe that loving yourself was being up yourself and was not cool. From there it’s so easy to self abuse. Self love should be a subject and class in every high school.
I can really feel the intensity of the condition of Bulimia through your writing Anna and how debilitating a condition it must be. It is amazing to share how you overcame this illness and your story could be such a support for others with the same problem.
Hi Rachel, yes Bulimia is incredibly debilitating and it is great that you could feel that through this article. It is as I said very much a self imposed prison, that requires much understanding and love to break free from and truly heal. With the understanding I now have and the love that I continue to build within myself, I can now offer others the same support that was offered me, and that I have to come to within myself. Thank you for your response, we definitely need to keep speaking about this disease.
A beautiful article showing so clearly that healing starts with self-love. I can feel the joy that you have found in yourself through taking care of the preciousness that you are.
What an incredible story Anna of how self love was the key to your prison with Bulimia and how with the continual love and support of the Benahyon family it simply is not a factor in your life any more.
Yes Fiona, the support of the Benhayon family, and many other Universal Medicine practitioners has been amazing! What has been even more amazing is that even when I slipped, not an ounce of judgement was there. I was held in the knowing that it is all my choice, and it is never too late to pick myself back up and choose to be more loving and accepting of myself.
Thank you Anna for sharing this beautiful inspiring read, showing the power we have in starting to love and accept ourselves. I too have used food in a numbing sense, for comfort, by eating too much. This is something I still have to be aware of.
Hi Lorriane, thank you for sharing. I feel it is something we all need to be aware of all of the time. It is very easy to eat that little bit too much (even though what we might be eating is by all standards ‘healthy’), when we are feeling uncomfortable with something going on within or around us. This is the thing with food, it can so easily go from a support for our bodies to a medication (a numbing or abusing tool) in a single moment. Bulimia sees the extreme of this type of behaviour, it becomes an abusive act towards oneself in the refusal to accept and deal with life, and yet there is the potential for all of us to manage life with food in this way, as subtle as it is. Great point thank you.
Really inspiring read Anna, thank you – you must feel so super wonderful right now 🙂
It is wonderful to read of the changes you made to your health and how you healed your body to become free of a life of suffering bulimia, this is such an important story you share and I would wish to share it with anyone who is going through something similar. Having patience and understanding with ourselves is so important, not being hard on ourselves if we fall down or make a mistake. And the love you felt from Serge Benhayon, what a special man he is, no judgement, just super caring love and support.
Thank you Stephen, I agree, we can never underestimate the power of patience and understanding, with ourselves and with others.
Anna, thank you so much for sharing this. I have never considered bulimia before or its effects, but what is so inspiring is that you healed this condition through the back door. By building a foundation of self love it got taken care of and then some! Inspiring.
Thanks Michelle, it is truly healing to be able to share our experiences of how we can turn our lives around by choosing to love ourselves first from the inside out. And as I am discovering, the depths of this love is endless, there is always a deeper level of honouring and love we can be with ourselves.
This is an incredible story, which only goes to show the power and deep love we hold within. Having made a commitment to yourself and connecting to what your body was telling you you not only turned your own self confidence around, but as you say, without even trying one day the bulimia was gone. It sounds miraculous, but you were firmly in the drivers seat.
Hi Jenny, ‘firmly in the drivers seat’. I like this way of putting it. It is funny how we are the ones responsible for making the changes in our lives and yet we can easily leave this part out. We don’t fully claim it. Reading your comment I really felt this to a deeper level. Like a wow, I actually did this myself.
What an inspiring blog to read when you realised the change had to be from within yourself, that was the start of the turning, we can only change ourselves. What a difference self love and caring has made to your life, it’d be a great a article to send to woman magazines.
Thank you Gill, and yes, I can feel how beneficial my experience could be for others suffering from this illness. Each of us needs to understand that it is as you say, only we who can truly change. With this comes the understanding of what true support looks like – not someone doing it for us, but supporting us as we come into our own power and choosing it for ourselves. For me I now understand the power of self love and the importance of self responsibility, however I could not have come so far within myself if it wasn’t for the amazing support (and patience) I had over the years from my family, friends and from the practitioners and teachings of Universal Medicine. Each of these I treasure deeply, but most of all I have learnt to treasure deeply myself – and this is the most powerful form of love.
I found this so inspiring to read. Although it is a snapshot, I can feel the journey you have been on. The judgment of oneself, and ensuing guilt and shame, that comes from self-harm is as harming as the act itself. And to numb this feeling the cycle of harm starts again. How you learnt to take responsibility, heal your hurts, build self-love and ultimately vanquish the overwhelming need to harm yourself is a testament to the strength and power that you have within you. We all do. Universal medicine courses, practitioners and participants have provided me with an enormous wealth of understanding and wisdom about the ways in which we hurt and medicate ourselves. The answer always come back to love. Thank you for reminding us.
‘The judgment of oneself, and ensuing guilt and shame, that comes from self-harm is as harming as the act itself’.
I love these words Jinya. This is very true, equally as important in my healing of the bulimia and the taking responsibility for loving myself, has been to not allow the energy of self judgment, blame and guilt to come in and take me away from my healing and moving forward. Judgement, blame and guilt are like thick heavy mud that we ourselves walk into to slow ourselves down, or hold ourselves back from our glory. I am learning that these emotions or energies are my own choice, and that I can say no to them, and instead keep my focus on the amazingness within and all around me. Thank you Jinya.
Deeply beautiful and touching account Anna of healing Bulimia. This is an article that should be published and distributed worldwide. Deeply inspiring and very much ending to be heard.
I agree Anne marie, this article should be shared with men and women alike who suffer from Bulimia, and all those who are directly and or indirectly affected. It is a powerful testament to self love and self care, rather then the treatment focus today of the medical world which seems to be getting nowhere fast – and I know because as I shared, I tried that route to no avail. My story is not only a testament to the development of self love and the teachings of Universal Medicine, but it is one that can support the medical world in a new direction with the treatment of Bulimia and other such disorders. Great to point out.
Absolutely agree Anne Marie, this would benefit many.
Thank you for sharing what is generally seen as a ‘hush hush – don’t speak about it’ topic. The personal mental prison that one can find themselves in can at times appear that there is no way out as I have felt in the past. While I have not had bulimia I have used and abused food as a way to not accept myself, others or my life. Once again I am met with a simple fact as beautifully shared in this blog: It is our choice to change. This blog is wonderful proof that all that energy and time spent on control can be flipped upside down and used to love ourselves.
Hi Anna, I re-read your blog today and have to say how inspiring I find it that making self loving choices has allowed you to heal the bulimia. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks Judy, it is very inspiring, knowing how devastated I was in my life feeling imprisoned by this illness to who and where I am now – super inspiring for me also to see the power of simple self loving choices.
Thank you for sharing.
What a turn around Anna, although bulimia is not part of my relationship with food I can relate to using food to keep an emotional situation under control so as not to feel it. This is a very inspirational blog, which I am sure will help many who suffer with eating disorders.
Great point Julie, actually comfort eating is really not unlike bulimia at all – just a smaller scale of it. Whether we are ready to admit this or not, comfort eating on any level is still an eating disorder, but because it is not an ‘extreme’ behaviour such as bulimia, and because we are still not yet ready to take full and total responsibility for ourselves and our own bodies, we excuse it with terms such as ‘everything in moderation’ or ‘you have to have one vice’ or ‘its a balance’ – all the while we are making excuses for the simple fact that we are abusing our body – period – the scale of this is irrelevant.
One day we will all come to see that any form of comfort eating, over eating and or eating without true purpose only serves to bury our hurts and issues, and that in doing this, we keep ourselves small – far from the grandness that we truly all are.
Thanks for sharing.
As a child I had an eating disorder and I know that isolation you speak of Anna.
I am inspired by your words :
” Do not be afraid to accept and show your light, truth and glory “.
Your article gives great insight into this condition and is very inspiring Anna Thank you.
What an incredible transformation Anna. With Loving care and understanding for ourselves and without ‘trying,’ personal miracles start to happen.
Spot on Susan, ‘without trying’.
I love how you express ‘ Without even trying, one day I woke up and the bulimia was no longer a part of my life.’ It inspires me to pay attention to how much energy I put into ‘trying’ when along my ‘being’ is there patiently waiting for me to connect with it.
I never considered it in this way Kathie, thank you. The simplicity in how you expressed this is a blessing.
Thank you, Anna for sharing your experience of bulimia which is very often not spoken about. I love how you share that it was your choice to apply a greater care and love for yourself and take responsibility for your choices that resulted in healing the bulimia rather trying to fix the problem. This is inspiring as it is model to turn around any difficulties or illness or disease in life.
Hi Jsnelgrove, yes I love that too and am still learning the depth of power we have when we let go of trying to fix things. I recently read another amazing blog on this site that was all about this titled “Medical Diagnosis and how the mind can take you on a scary roller coaster ride”. This blog takes the issue to a deeper level, how we go into the mind to try to fix rather then surrender and allow our healing to unfold.
One of the turning points for me in healing this illness was a moment I had in the shower (after a purge) where I was talking to myself, and I had this overwhelming sense that I just needed to surrender to what was happening to me. To start to step outside and see that the behaviour wasn’t me, but that I had a responsibility to understand where it was coming from, what was triggering me to do this to myself, and this required a great level of acceptance that it was even happening. I had to stop fighting it, loathing it, denying it, and trying to stop it, and to get real. It was happening, it was very real, it was very painful and imprisoning, but only when I surrendered to this did the true healing begin.
Anna it is deeply inspiring to read your words. As someone that likes to “fix things” it strikes a cord when you express how you never set out to fix or cure the bulimia, instead by making the choices to love and care for yourself that the bulimia was no longer part of your life. A completely different way of approaching illness, disease and things that we know are harming us. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Anna, I am really inspired by this article, not only because of your journey, but also because even though I do not have bulimia, your words inspire me to ask of myself where am I not being wholly tender with myself and what behaviours am I still allowing which are not loving towards myself, and am I really feeling them? Or overriding them? Thank you for this.
Anna, thank you for your honest and truly inspiring blog, and sharing how you’ve healed yourself. This is awesome. I’ve not had bulimia, but I can relate to how you talk about food as I’ve often over-eaten to the point of stuffing myself to not feel or to bring myself down, so your sharing of how you allowed yourself to feel and be with yourself in tenderness is great to hear. Food can be healing or harming and for many, including me, it’s been a tool of abuse, and I’ve changed much about how I am around food and can increasingly feel how it affects me. There’s still more to explore here as it can be such a habit to reach for food when I don’t want to feel. Thank you for reminding me of the power of choice.
Dear Anna, thank you very much for sharing. You truly are an inspiration.
Awesome healing offered here Anna thank you!! I can feel the pull to love myself more and to take better care of myself as I read your words. This is deeply inspiring blog to all men and women reminding us that we can choose to be self abusive or we can choose to be self loving and deeply appreciative of ourselves.
An inspiring read Anna, what a turn around you have made through taking responsibility and making loving choices for yourself. You show how powerful these choices are. Thank you.
Your article resonated with me in several places Anna, because I’ve also overcome an eating disorder thanks to Universal Medicine, after decades of trying practically everything under the sun. The simple truth of taking responsibility for our choices in each moment along with making those choices as self-loving as we can, in everything we do, has made the difference for me.
“Taking responsibility for our choices…along with making those choices as self-loving as we can, in everything we do.” . Absolutely. Doing this for myself has enabled me to stop biting my nails – something that I had “tried” to do for many many years. Unhelpful habits, around food, nail biting, alcohol, drugs etc – same same. Appreciating where I have come from to where I am now also supports me. So much inspiration in these blogs and comments.
Beautiful to read that Anna… When you said ‘I would wake in the morning and the first thing I would think about was food, how much was I going to eat today, how much exercise would I need to do to counter this’.. I could totally relate, as I find myself doing the exact same thing sometimes. What I have realised – which you have perfectly outlined in your article – is that taking responsibility for our choices is one of the most honouring things we can do, as I know that the food I’ve eaten is what I have CHOSEN to put into my body, and that the food that I have chosen is going to support me in my day.
wow Anna, this is inspirational. I loved reading it and this part touched me: ‘it is there in everything – the opportunity to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am.’
This is a great post. I’m sure there are a vast amount of people who have these hidden patterns and suffer for many years unnecessarily, thinking there is no way out. You have shown how simple it can be to break these seemingly unbreakable impulses. Thank you.
Anna
I was deeply touched by your honesty and willingness to write about what is considered “shameful”. Your story and the story of others who have embraced self love through the work of Universal Medicine are the inspiration that others who are suffering need to hear. Thank you.
Yes Sharon, it is a shame that this topic is considered so ‘shameful’ – pun intended! The shame only serves to keep us entrenched in the behaviour – it doesn’t allow for us to bring it out in the open – that is the purpose of shame. It serves to keep us in our stuff, to not ever fully heal. Quite insidious when you see it for what it is.
Thank you Anna for sharing such a personal and exposing part of your life. I felt the incredible love and tenderness you now feel for yourself resonating out of your article. Really inspiring and just amazing, thank you!
Thank you Anna! I am so touched and inspired by this awesome piece of writing.
Yes, you are amazing Anna, a truly gorgeous woman that inspires me on many levels, thank you for you emerging glory…
Thank you Anna. Having known you for most of my life I have been witness to these changes with my very own eyes and they are nothing short of amazing, as you say. It is so very heart-opening to see those you love returning to the beauty they naturally are and no longer keeping that hidden away, through the myriad of ways we find to do so. It is such a tender and beautiful experience to read something expressed from the depths of ones lived experience and with such awareness.
Thank you Anna for sharing so honestly. What an inspiration you are to all women.I also had difficulty when i first heard about self love as i had it associated with ‘selfishness’,and as you say ‘being up yourself’. I have also come to realise that self love is truly transforming and we can not truly love another or allow another to love us if we haven’t nurtured the same in ourselves.
Self love is definitely something to celebrate as everyone benefits.
Thankyou Anna, the level of self love and care and nurturing you have shared with us here feels exquisite, it has helped you to heal Bulimia, and is exactly what we can all heal ourselves of any issue with. I feel truly inspired by your words here; it is such a wonderful thing to know and feel that we can just keep going deeper and deeper with this love, and the joy this brings into our lives is “nothing short of amazing”, as is your story, thank you.
Reflecting on your comment here Annette has reminded me of the path I was on when writing this. I chose to stray from this path since this time, not regressing with the bulimia but with other areas of my life that I was not yet ready to look at and truly heal. Your words have reminded me that it is all the same, the building of self love allows us to heal “all” the issues, what ever they may be, and your words allowed me to feel the power of this. Thank you.
I agree Anna, we can stray if we are not willing to be honest with our issues, they can stay hidden. As soon as we bring self love and nurturing to ourselves (something that was almost alien to me before Universal Medicine,) we can feel what it is we need to heal. I didn’t have Bulimia, but I very much went into the ‘doing’ so that I did not have to look at my issues. When I became aware of self love I began to feel how hard my body was and the issues of self loathing and ‘not being enough’. If I was ‘doing’ I was seen to be more. It is on-going as Annette said, “We can just keep going deeper and deeper with this love, which exposes for me, more layers of hardness and more subtle ways that I will bring in the doinginess to not feel my body.
This is so beautiful Anna. Thank-you for sharing so openly.
Knowing you, you are a truly inspiring and beautiful woman, and I am so very grateful that the love you have brought to your life and continue to joyfully embrace – inspired by Universal Medicine – has allowed this true beauty to shine as it does. It is a reflection which helps me in the journey of loving myself. There is so much you know from your experience about truly addressing conditions such as the one you suffered. May those who are looking for true support be gently shown the way to your door.
Thankyou so much Anna the turn around in your body and life from such self abuse to such acceptance and tender self love is very healing to read. I especially love that you learnt ” to accept things as they are and that this doesnt mean giving up on oneself or people ” I am also learning via Serge , Natalie and Universal Medicine that that level of acceptance and self love is the foundation of being content in one’s body and truely knowing there is nothing wrong with us and that we are enough.
I am also finding how important the level of self love and acceptance is in my body, it is as you say, ‘the foundation of being content in one’s body and truely knowing there is nothing wrong with us and that we are enough’. Beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your amazing story Anna – it’s fascinating and very inspiring.
A truly inspiring love story which has helped me to understand bulimia. Thank you Anna for sharing so openly, honestly and lovingly.
Thanks for sharing your healing journey.
In the eighties I worked with a young lady in her mid twenties who was absolutely gorgeous looking – as in model type beauty. One day we were exchanging a massage and I noticed that her body – especially her arms were so swollen, super hard and it felt if I was to put a tiny needle in, there would be explosion and everything would come out of her. I questioned why this was and she shared that she had Bulimia. She also said how much she hated her body, herself…and I just could not understand being that she was so beautiful, size 8 and a perfect figure.
Having read your account now – it becomes so clear that this feeling has nothing to do with how one looks, but everything with how one feels about her/him self.
When I read your piece I googled sites in Australia that address the disease. Australian Psychological Society has this written: “There are many suggested theories of the factors involved in the development of eating disorders, but there is no single consensus on a cause. Most research acknowledges that the development of eating disorders involves a complex set of interactions between cultural, social, family, personality and physical factors (including genetic factors).” Reading more on their site and some other sites I cannot help but feel that the society is very much in the dark as to what truly lies underneath Bulimia. Perhaps your story could be offered to various relevant sites for both medicals and those affected by the illness to read – there is a wealth of info and learning in your piece that many can benefit from.
Yes Dragana, I’m onto it!
Thankyou Anna
Anna
Thank you for your honesty in sharing your experience. A true inspiration to the many people with eating disorders.
What a beautiful, honest and inspiring sharing. Thank you Anna.
Thank you so much for this very inspiring and touching story of self-healing, self-empowerment and self-love. It so clearly demonstrates the power of true love.
Thank you for being so open and sharing your experiences with Bulimia, Anna, as I have a much better understanding of the torment this condition is. What a joyous turnaround thanks to all the loving choices you have made for yourself and ‘the enormous love and support of Universal Medicine and the presentations delivered by Serge and Natalie Benhayon’ – a life changing combination that has turned my life around as well.
A truly amazing story Anna! What a gift you share on the power of self-care and love.
Anna, this beautiful blog brought tears to my eyes. You have so lovingly expressed the truth of how you began to embrace self-love and make those choices, not with the intent to get rid of the bulimia, but because Serge Benhayon’s presentations made sense. The simplicity of naturally being the love you are untangled the bulimic nightmare spontaneously and left the way clear for health, laughter, beauty, and the immeasurable service that state of being brings to humanity.
Beautifully said Lyndy. What’s clear is that the self loving choices naturally led to the bulimia stopping. I too have experienced the falling away of harming behaviours as a result of choosing to be more self loving. The presentations made by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have inspired me to develop a loving relationship with myself. Thanks Anna for your honest and inspiring blog.
Thank you Debra for pointing out so beautifully how simply choosing to be more self loving allows for all our harming behaviours to fall away. Instead of fighting the behaviour, or trying to fix it, figure it out etc, all we need do surrender, accept what is happening and shift the focus back to loving ourselves – awesome.
What an amazing story – Thank you for sharing it.
Thank you for sharing your fascinating story Anna, it really touched me. This is indeed a love story (but not the type we see in romance novels). And there are many more similar stories of profound changes in people’s lives because they were inspired by Universal Medicine. These are the stories that are worthy of front page news on the world’s largest tabloids. I look forward to the day.
So true Rod and Ariana, this is the love story with myself, and a beautiful story it is – the real beauty being that this story never ends, but continues to unfold and deepen every day as I am remembering a love for self within that I had long forgotten and thanks to Universal Medicine and the power of my own choices, I have now been reacquainted with.
Beautiful comment on a beautiful article, Rod. I, too was deeply touched.
I agree Rod, Anna’s story is an inspiration of Love.
Yes, a true love story that needs to be shared with many.
Anna, thank you for talking about this topic that affects so many people, men and woman. I too had a period of my life while at University when bulimia was tried as what I thought was a weight watching measure. I felt pressured to fit in to a culture that was very much about body image. At the same time I knew that this course of action had nothing to do with my weight as I could sense that there was something much deeper going on. This was ignored as I was driven to look a certain way. The way you have explained it as a “self imposed isolation” is so true. As I connected to Universal Medicine I understood that bulimia was about acceptance, not accepting life. Your definition is again perfect and thank you for sharing it, “that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this”. I have not suffered from bulimia for many years but I have a tendency to still use food, at times I eat too much, to numb myself, check out or sabotage when I am feeling good. My relationship with food is about my relationship with myself and the more love, care, honouring and nurturing I bring to myself then the more this naturally occurs in my daily life. This understanding of my relationship with myself and my body has only come about because of my involvement with Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon. Their unwavering support has changed my life and I hold a deep appreciation for them because of this.
It’s great to read about such honest accounts of an otherwise ‘hush-hush’ topic. I find a lot of people who talk about eating disorders just talk about it as if they have been victim of it – that it ‘just happened’ to them, when as I’ve learnt through Universal Medicine workshops, more often than not it’s been deliberately chosen in one way or another to deal or cope with an issue.
I agree Cheryl as I too have lived the victim mentality for many years, not only with the eating disorder but in many areas of my life. When we bring it back to choices and that it is about how we respond to life (responsibility) we start to see life in a different way. Taking responsibility I am finding is a constant learning, as it seeps into all the areas of my life where I have previously felt disempowered and played the victim instead, and the key here is to be very self loving along the way.
Hi Anna, Thank you for opening up and sharing honestly what it was like to suffer the torment of Bulimia and then to transform that to the most self-loving beautiful woman that you are now.
I agree, Anna awesome transition. The choices you have made for yourself and the support you have received from Natalie and Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine all show how we can all turn our life around if we choose to.
Yes Judy, it has been an awesome transition and when I stop to appreciate actually how amazing it is, this feeling of love for myself grows even more. That I healed Bulimia, not covered it, or masked it, or found another vice to replace it. And all I did was choose to start loving and accepting myself, standing up to an old behaviour in the realisation that I was worth so much more. This is amazing.