1,005 thoughts on “The effects of holding back on my body”

1. Lieke, I resonated with the lower back and years ago I used to put it down to the extreme exercise I placed my body under. And now, from time to time, I may experience this pain coming up, and the next time it does, I’ll review my day and how my expression was held back, this is biggie for me. I have held back from speaking for a loooong time and the wishing I had dialogue and conversation then takes hold in my mind and plays havoc.

   The body always communicates to us, it is the best piece of material given to us, it never stops, just like the heart beating. It communicates and repairs even as we sleep. Isn’t it time it was treated with more love and respect?

2. I am constantly catching myself in how well trained I am in moderating my expression. It happens almost automatically and I am not even consciously manipulating it. It can be very subtle but even the slightest shrinkage or contraction I feel in the body lets me know that I have left me. This is an amazing learning process, being with the body, listening and allowing it to just move on its own accord.

3. I always find this so practical and relatable, and I have to wonder how many ways holding back has an effect on our health and wellbeing. It truly must take such enormous effort to not be the fullness we are, and then make this reduction of ourselves our normal and live it everyday.

4. The more I have become aware of the my body and how it feels particularly if I am connected to my absolute essence I feel open, tall, expanded, full and all knowing, yet when I feel myself when I am not connected I can feel the contraction, shutdown, shorter, hard and serious. So the two are a choice I can make and one is extraordinarily amazing and simple, the other is complicated and hard.

5. ‘Holding back’ is like holding our breath so that our lungs cannot expand to the degree they naturally would were we left to naturally inspire that which is available for us to do so. It is our love that we hold back – our most natural breath.

6. Thank you for not holding back in sharing all you have learned about the impacts on the body of holding back and the antidote is an inspiration to be all that we are.

7. Holding back on expressing how we feel and communicating what is happening to others stifles us and clogs up the flow that would otherwise unfold and allow more to unfold.

8. I really enjoyed the practical approach to what you wrote here Lieke about holding back and it helped me feel into how this has impacted my body in so many ways, especially that lower back pain you mentioned while lying down and now when I hold back expressing something it feels like a knot in my stomach and a dull headache too. This is great to get that immediate feedback from my body so I know that I am holding back living my truth and can then choose otherwise.

9. Not holding back our awareness is key to supporting the body, as we become more aware of what is going on around us we also become more aware of our own body too.

10. I absolutely agree – how we express ourselves or don’t express is a big part of our life style, and it has a huge impact on how we express our everyday life. We all know how horrible it feels in our body when we don’t express ourselves in the way we want and when we want, no matter how hard we try justifying it in the name of being ‘good’ or whatever the adjective we would find fit to be acceptable.

11. I agree Lieke – it doesn’t mean we have to get into confrontations or fights. Not holding back means keeping our awareness in full and not playing it down and can lead to many different outward expressions.

    1. Christoph, that’s where I was muddled, holding back was either a confrontations or fights OR not saying anything at all!…So, now it is being refined, confrontations and fights are out and now the true expression is emerging, without perfection. I don’t always get it “right” as such, but I’m certainly learning more and more. I ponder on each experience and see where my expression may have imposed on another or, expressed what needed to be expressed – I love this moment in my life and discovering more and more of who I truly am.

12. I keep coming back to this blog when I feel myself holding back, trying to contain my feelings and keep them from seeing the light of day. It’s a lot of hard work for something that creates a lot of pain and tension. There is none when I follow through on expressing how I feel.

13. Love this full bodied description of what holding back is and how it feels.. holding back to me feels like walking around with the brakes on, being cautious and not stepping forward into what is there to naturally do or express. When we do let go and stop holding back, we feel lighter and more expanded – and are so often offering more than we realise to each other.

14. Holding back is a form of holding, i.e. tension and over time the body breaks down being held in a way that is not suitable for the body.

15. The truth of how we are living is always reflected in our body and as you have share this means with everything including if we are holding back. I have also experienced this first-hand and how far more liberating it is to express and follow through with what we are feeling. It makes sense really that we feel freer, more at ease and full when we live and express who we are in essence.

16. I have also experienced my lower back reminding me of when I am holding back and when I am not.

17. This is a beautiful reminder ‘it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ I have spent so much of my life procrastinating because I was scared of not doing something perfectly and this has definitely had an impact on my body and I have often ended the day with the low back ache that you share about. Thankfully this happens much less but has made a reappearance recently so it is a great call to explore where I am holding back my expression.

18. Thank you Lieke for the depth of insight that you share here on how our lifestyle can impact our body and wellbeing. I think this is something really key for us all to appreciate and develop our awareness of – the quality of our expression and the consequences of holding back from truly being ourselves and the difference it makes when we don’t hold back too.

19. This has been a very inspiring article for me, thank you Lieke

20. Holding back our essence is poisonous, for our whole body and beingness. What you describe here is in many ways relatable to us all. We know it, we have been just living in a way that has been numbing of the fact that we hold back our potential, our truth, our full expression – our love, our light- and playfulness of being. Hence, what you work back from here is hugely important, so that it reveals the mist and we can see through and feel and know back again — who we truly are by our essence, without issues at all.

21. I’d say for the past two years my body has felt that a certain situation in my life was true to be in and yet there’s a part of me that’s fought tooth and nail against this. Fighting against what my body feels results in a whole lot of pain and it hasn’t changed how my body feels about the situation. A strange notion that if I keep resisting it my body will give in but it doesn’t work like that. Everytime I connect the message is the same.

    1. We can fight our body in ways that we don’t notice what is going on but then can make things worse.

22. You are talking here about constipation Lieke and even there we can hold back the impulse to go to the toilet when our body says so causing delay in our digestive system and hold on to the old instead of making space in our bodies for what is there to come.

23. The antidote to so many of our ills is to express and live all that we are and share the love in our heart.

    1. Yes, and there are many ways to express.

24. Holding back starts so young in so many people… and it is a profound shift to, at any stage, turn this around and change the way we live and love life.

25. When I came to understand that “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do” many light bulbs flashed as the realisation of how I had been living for so long dawned on me. And then I began to understand why my body had struggled so much for so long as the choices I had been making to hold back the amazing me were going against everything my body knew to be true. What an exhausting way to live – exist – that was!

26. When I hold back, what I am holding back is love that could have been expressed through my movement/words etc., and I am noticing more and more that when this happens, something else is getting expressed and it is very unpleasant to my body, as well as those around me.

27. Well said Lieke, the way we express or don’t express has a massive impact on our health. When we look at medicine it is wise to not only take into account different options of medication but also how we eat, drink, move, breath and express.

28. Holding back can have very obvious physical impacts – one I notice in myself is a hardness in my shoulders, upper arms and the back, like I am protecting or bracing against life, which then leaves my chest very shut down and hard, like I have caved it in. This might not seem too bad in a sense, but I know that I then carry this with me in my day, impacting my openness with people because my body is communicating a level of closed off-ness to them.

29. There are so many reasons we may use to hold ourselves back. It is actually painful in the body to do so. Usually it is our mind that feeds us all the reasons we should hold back, and it is the body that cops it. We have a little struggle going on between the body and the mind and which one we should follow. Ultimately the truth lies in the body and we cannot ignore it.

30. When we think of maintaining good health we often think about exercise, nutritious food and plenty of sleep, but perhaps we need to add expressing ourselves in full to complete the list!

31. From reading your ‘effects of holding back’ list it is so obvious how doing so affects our body, something that most of us would not realise. I didn’t realise until recently that the many symptoms that you quote, and I experienced, were actually as a result of my holding back my expression of who I am and the truth as I knew it to be. But today, with the understanding of my body that is growing daily, I can now tell instantly when I have held back from expressing all of me as my body speaks so very loudly. And these days I listen!

32. Thank you Lieke, this is always such a healing read and very supportive, it feels like all you have shared here is timeless in its wisdom. I really enjoyed your dot points on the antidote for holding back, including “Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.”, and “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.” Thank you Lieke, very inspiring.

33. I was in a meeting the other day and held back from expressing something that was clearly in my body to expressed but I held back. I could not only feel the impact this had on my body but also feel how in not expressing, something of great value had not been shared.. however after the meeting I was aware it was still in my body so I expressed it to one of the people present, we discussed it and much was gained from it, also my body felt so much lighter. Holding back is a big pattern of mine and a work in progress in not, and more and more I realise the importance of expressing all that is there to be expressed, and not just verbally.

    1. That’s great Ruth, it’s a process of observing this in ourselves and how it honestly feels when we hold back, as well as how our body responds when we do not hold back and instead express fully. Everyday is an opportunity to observe and learn, to develop wisdom, and to implement new ways of being in the world that are true to our body and to our innate essence of love.

       1. Yes Melinda and I love the learning and guidance from my body, how it shows me exactly my choices in how and when I am holding back with this so I can work with it.

34. Holding back in myself has created enormous tension in my body with numerous aches and pains. Letting go and expressing myself in truth more and more supports my body to open and loosen up.

    1. I find my body speaks very loudly with holding back, particularly when I don’t write or verbally share what’s was there to be expressed. For me calf muscle pain and general exhaustion are symptoms common in my body.

35. When you are in the joy of who you naturally are, you just want to share it and it feels natural to do so.

36. Holding back our light, love, wisdom, beauty etc etc does not work in any way, shape or form

37. I know the frustration I have been feeling during all my life has come from holding back my natural expression. Acting nice caused headaches, migraines and exhaustion, no wonder as it takes a lot of energy to suppress innate joy and love.

38. Having a bounce in our step shouldn’t constitute a ‘rare’ and particularly amazing day, it should be a normal standard. Maintaining this bounce is something we can develop by observing life and not taking issues on or letting ourselves be swayed by exterior influences/forces out to knock us off track.

    1. I agree Susie, and I would like to add, not making excuses for having that bounce in our step.

39. A great blog Lieke that has woke me up to the fact that holding back is not just about marking time and remaining in the comfortable status quo, but about not taking every opportunity on offer in your everyday life to grow and learn.

40. Lieke reading this again I realised that I had not been fully aware of many of the symptoms of holding back, it makes perfect sense though as the holding back disrupts the whole system. We are made to be truthful, to flow, and to express love, joy and harmony.

41. It took me a long time to discover what I was holding back on and then when I looked closer at the things that I was not letting go off i.e pictures of how I expected things to be or pictures I had held onto for years regarding myself, all contributed to me holding on to beliefs that were not even true. Ouch. The holding back was the end result of the holding on.

42. So great reading the list of holding back ouches. Glad you didn’t hold that back. Shows how crazy it is to hold back and yet most of us do. You have to wonder why we hold back from showing the world how beautiful and joyful we all naturally are. Maybe because it exposes everyone else who is holding back and they don’t want to feel those ouches. All the more reason not to hold back as it gives others permission to let all that go and also be themselves.

43. I love this and so relevant for me to read this morning, yesterday I was at a meeting where there were important things for me to say yet I held back, this morning I can feel how this has impacted my body and has left me feeling really tired. Every one loses out when we do not express in full.

44. A clear message I get is cramping in my calves. Having an Esoteric Healing session it was shared and explored my pictures of when it is appropriate to express and when I hold back, creating a stop/start approach to life. I am learning that I cannot have stop moments from moving to the rhythm of my body as it hurts to not be consistent.

45. There are so many experiences that we can share with each other, yet we hold back from doing so, and every time we hold back our body closes down its natural rhythm.

46. Quite simply – it takes more energy to resist love than to be it. What then says this of the force we call upon to not live the depth of who we truly are?

47. “What is the antidote?” I love your list of antidotes to holding back. One in particular – “Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.” If we start with just one thing it can inspire us to do other things also and thus be more in full.

48. Your list of where we can choose to not hold back and instead express and live all that we are and all that is there to move with, is a deeply inspiring reminder of the amazingness we are and can choose in any moment to reflect to the world… in full rather than in measured portions. The world needs the reminders for we are currently suffering as a whole in a world where less is the norm.

49. We are not really taught about the physical and emotion damage we can cause ourselves through lack of expression or holding back. It is beautiful that you were able to address this issue, of course the work is never done but you have begun the process and can feel that you are the master of your own body in this way you are free to choose “safety” or calculated choices or the joy of the impulse of the heart.

50. Once you choose to feel where you hold yourself back .. You can start to observe more where else you do, not as a critique ever, but an invitation to being you all of the time by allowing step by step not to hold back.

51. Reading this I have an appreciation for the fact that I have stopped holding back quite a bit, as my lower back problems have reduced dramatically. Thank you for this.

52. Holding back does play out in the body as I know only too well, with the illnesses I have incurred over the years from indulging in it.

    1. That is a great point, holding back is an indulgence and is an illness in itself.

53. When you don’t hold back and allow all of you to express in full then this is an incredible feeling. Every particle in the body is dancing and the joy is something you can not avoid. There are so many areas of our lives where we can go it in full and be all of us and then equally have other areas of our lives where we hold this back. My key focus at the moment as presented by Serge Benhayon is to work on bring all of me everywhere I go no matter what. A quality that I am not prepared to compromise on for anyone or thing. There is much to learn in this and I keep embracing day by day how I can do things differently and feel the outcome. So much beauty to be shared.

54. Great to stumble on this blog this morning Lieke. As i read your article i could feel the holding back and the ‘sticky’ feeling this brings to the body! If my body is not feeling supple, yummy and flowing with the joy in my being not being expressed in all its delight – then, I am holding back. And oh, is it yucky to feel – no wonder so many of us will choose to numb with a myriad of things on offer, so that we do not feel this underlying pain of holding back our true expression.

55. Holding back brings in a tension that our bodies have to then work through, and it is also a missed opportunity to be with God and enjoy each others company.

56. The fact is that everything is everything. Our thoughts can change our pH level in the body hence do more to our body than we choose to realise yet.

57. ‘…it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ I agree with you Lieke, that’s the key point to start breaking the pattern of holding back.

58. This is a start of a new medical dictionary Lieke. There are so many dis-eases that we deem normal to live with and simply blame on the body and age, but as you show here there are many factors that influence our wellbeing and the way we live in everything we do is either good or bad medicine for us.

59. It is our expression of truth, of what we feel from within, that confirms the truth of who we are in essence – love. As you wisely shared expression is the antidote, to the loveless we are left feeling when we hold back on being and sharing who we truly are.

60. Thanks Lieke… any and every reminder on not holding back in any aspect of life is always an essential read… A great way to start the day.

61. I was in a men’s group meeting recently, where some like minded men gather fortnightly for an hour to discuss how we are dealing with being ourselves in the world. The discussion had a flavour of how we discuss the same issues outside of the meeting and the pictures we have if we do. The meeting wrapped up with how we even held back telling people we were in a group, let alone what was discussed! Some closed with: If you told someone you were going to church that would end that conversation. So, saying you were going to a men’s group should be the same! If they should ask what the meetings are about, it opens an opportunity to express, so why are we holding back?

62. Lieke your description of holding back is spot on, I can very much concur….
    “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.”
    As Serge Benhayon has told us time and time again “everything has an equal and an opposite” so what we have to pull in to counter this naturally joyful expression is a life-less function, a stagnancy that is devastatingly void of purpose and meaning.

63. Another form of holding back, I notice is very exhausting, is pretending that I do not know what decision to make and stay in indecisiveness, going back and forth, look at it from all sides etc. etc.. All the effort that goes in this thought process is draining my body, my kidneys start to ache and I get tired of myself being not present enough in my body and thus not able to make any decision whatsoever, sounds familiar?

64. Coming back to your blog Lieke is such a gentle, yet powerful reminder, to not hold back but to express fully and responsibly.

65. Holding back certainly holds us back.

66. Amazing how our body shows physical symptoms from holding back who we are. So often we think that our physical symptoms are just through chance, this is definitely not the case.

67. You capture so well the heaviness of holding back and the lightness and joy that come from expressing all of who we are and sharing that with the world.

68. It is amazing how the body can alert us to our behaviours by giving us a health condition to pay attention to – it is a shame that it has to get to that point before we listen.

69. I noticed last night how I was holding back my expression. I have always held back from expressing within this particular group of people in particular one person. Last night was no different except I was more aware of what was going on. The biggest thing I noticed was the lack of acceptance of myself eg. If I had said something and the other person made fun which he was very capable of doing that would have crushed me but because of the awareness it did support me to express a little. Awareness and understanding are helping me greatly to learn and appreciate what I bring to the table and to accept where I am at on my path of return.

70. Thank you Lieke I can relate to all the symptoms you describe and not holding back is coming up for me to address at the moment so it is super supportive to read your blog today. In the past I have felt overwhelmed by how much I have held back in all areas of my life and felt I did not know where to start. ‘The healing of holding back is in these small things, but also in expressing what I feel is true and not true in the world.’ In addressing the small things where I hold back this allows for more freedom in my expression and supports me to speak up where larger issues are concerned.

71. Not holding back is accepting – in full – who we are. That is, that we are more than human, it is living in the appreciation that we are universal and when we are in acceptance of this, we bring this universality to whatever it is we do. Now that, is stupendous.

72. I am continually amazed by how much my body is willing to tell me when I am willing to listen – and the more I listen the more I can feel how harmful holding back is on my body.

73. When we hold back we have to use a lot of self-imposed force to reduce ourselves to be less than who we naturally are and this force is felt in the body because to move or express in this reduced way is not natural for it.

74. Living ‘not holding back’ is to ignite and sustain a self-perpetuating source of vitality.

75. Clear and practical bullet points to understand that ‘holding back’ comes in a variety of ways and scenarios that are, in my experience as a ‘master of holding back’ very detrimental and destructive to the body..
    “I have been holding back for most of my life, and through the teachings presented by Universal Medicine and Esoteric Healing sessions, I have come to understand – and have now an absolute knowing for myself – that holding back has an effect on my body. A big one”.

76. “It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so.” – I felt a sadness when reading this as I can feel that I hold back sharing my love and joy for life and people, because frankly, my life is so beautiful and amazing. Not everyone’s life is that. But mine wasn’t this beautiful 7 years ago, I was a mess. But through Universal Medicine sharing a consistently loving and joyful way to live life I made changes. I have held back in the fear of being alone in my joy but when consistently lived it doesn’t take long for others to want to join on their own accord and not stay in the misery. Thank you Lieke.

77. Thank you for being inspired and inspiring me! We learn so much from our bodies and to be able to pool those resources and help others means we have living medicine experts all around us. Our medical system would be so different if we saw ourselves as equal partners in our own healing. No doctor or nurse burnout, much fewer, if any lifestyle illnesses…

78. I have heard it said that true health and well being comes from living from the inside out and not the outside in. A child naturally does not hold back their joy, love and playfulness until much later in their childhood such as when they start school. So could it be that we begin to hold back expressing our essence because we have taken on what we have experienced from the world and not expressed from our essence back in full?

79. Imagine how many books, how many web sites and articles are out there in the world on how to live a ‘better life’ – all dedicated on what to do and when. But how many of these focus on the quality of energy that we live? What you present here Lieke is gold – what if we have got life the wrong way around? Instead of measuring what we do, we might be well advised to try learning to care about the type of energy that is there. Even when we hear this, there is a tendency for it to go in one ear and out the next. So let’s stop and really see what life would be like, living with respect to quality first.

80. ‘Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ This is something I have recently looked at more and more – why we become reserved as we try to do things to reach a certain outcome rather than with a certain quality.

    1. Expectations & perfectionism are deadly, being curious, understanding and playful makes way for the activation of true change.

81. I was at a wonderful Universal Medicine workshop yesterday where Serge Benhayon shared how we don’t actually hold back in that we are always expressing something – it is just what are we expressing. My understanding of this is: are we expressing all that we truly are (love) or are we expressing something else (not love). So when you speak of holding back you are sharing that you when you hold back your love you invite in and express all that is not love and the consequences of that.

    1. This is something that applies to everyone at different times because it is very hard the way the world is set up and due to our past momentum to fully express love 24/7 (even though it should really be hard to not express who we are – but such is the crazy world we have created). The more we allow our loving expression the more it grows and inspires others and changes the momentum 🙂

82. I just realised this week that I no longer have tight/tense shoulders, which for many years were pretty constant companions. I am on annual leave now and the week leading up, I got a bit stressed with what I had to do and I noticed tension in my shoulders. And I was like woah, I have not felt that for a while and that used to be pretty constant with only strong hard massages to work out the knots. But I too have started to not hold back who I truly am in the word, and live in a much more harmonious way and the effects on the body are nothing short of a miracle.

83. Holding back you may ask, but what am I holding back? And how am I holding back? Well.. it’s also in not allowing ourselves to freely express what is in our hearts and our Souls.

84. A great subject Lieke. There is so much potential we all have and so much for us all to do and holding back stops this. Really great to discuss the physical effects of holding back as well like exhaustion, headache, back ache, as well as how it affects our energy and vitality.

85. What an amazing truth exposed about holding back and the enormous everyday effects of this. A real eye opener as to what happens when we hold back and not express as our living way that is a common way of living for us all the time. A real eye opener in showing the true way of living for us all in great appreciation love and expression of all we are and is very beautiful.

86. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do’ – and this could just be nothing. I am learning to follow my body when it asks for rest and am learning to bring more quality to my movements so that it does not need to ask for rest so often. A lot of undoing to be done, undoing of ideals and beliefs that have us rushing or pushing to get just that one last thing done.

87. ‘It feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all’ – this is something I would do well to remember in the times when I am giving myself a rough time for getting something wrong.

88. Holding back has devastating effects on our bodies, there is no question about that, thanks for the extensive outline of what it can actually entail. I find personally if I let the brakes off in one area, it tends to release the holding back in most areas of my life too.

89. Sometimes I wonder why there is such a strong desire to be accepted by the outside which causes a lot of anxiousness by holding back my own expression and there is only one who can express like me and that’s ME.

90. Lieke, thank you for sharing so joyfully how it is to not hold back. Holding back is an illness epidemic in society that desperately needs addressed. Your blog should be shared far and wide including GP surgeries, as an antidote.

91. Beautifully expressed Elizabeth – when we choose to not hold back truth our expression is felt across the earth and beyond.

92. How beautiful, your body has opened up as you align to your truth and not hold back. I too have noticed lots of change in my own posture and and opening of my chest as I let people in and express with openness. This has been very huge for me as I continue to work on it.

93. Holding back our absolute gorgeousness can in fact be considered an illness because the fact of the matter is that it does lead to disease and illness.

94. I love your awareness here of how holding back affects your body. Even though we may regularly hold back, at least having an awareness of the effects of this will over time be enough for us to change this behaviour. If we chose to not be aware then this will never change.

95. Lieke, I was smiling throughout this blog as I felt your absolute joy in just expressing and being you. And those things we get stuck on, like our tiredness are often in fact due to this holding back, I can feel this one very strongly myself; it really is exhausting calculating your every move and while I still do it, I’m learning more how to just be myself and do as I feel, and I love your reminder, it’s not about getting it right but in fact honouring what you feel even if you find it takes to places you did not expect. Thank you.

96. Lieke, this is gorgeous, I love the ways you have listed as the antidote, particularly, this ‘in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ Wow this is very beautiful, how amazing to live this in our day to day, I can feel how powerful and inspiring this would feel to me and to others and that it would mean me not getting caught up in issues and ensuring that I eat food that allows me to stay light, as my purpose here is to reflect that light in the world – very gorgeous, thank you.

97. Not holding back is really feeling free in all movements and expression, lately I have been feeling a little restrained in my body and have been pondering on what have been holding back in expressing. My body gives me signs straight away something does not feel right.

98. Such a great, comprehensive and simple list of antidotes to a very common condition, thank you Leike. I particularly could relate to the second point – to honour our impulses and follow through with them when they feel true without getting fixed on the outcome and attached to a picture of how this should look. The fear of ‘getting it wrong’ is at the root of why many of us hold back. Crippled by an illusionary sense of perfectionism, we deliberately impede that which wants to flow forth from us by way of our natural expression. By doing this we create within the frame of our bodies a great dam that threatens to burst in any given moment.

    Holding back is akin to holding our breath and creates so much tension within us but if we have done so all our life, or indeed for many lives, it becomes the norm and we do not even register the amount of pressure we are putting ourselves under….until the dam walls rupture. To avoid such catastrophe, which usually surfaces by way of illness and disease, it is far better to commit to a steady flow of expression in our every movement. This we can do by honouring the truth we know in essence and dedicating our every expression, be it thought, word or action, as an expression of this.

99. Holding back certainly does take its toll on the body and is becoming more difficult to do, as the consequences are showing up not only in the physical body but in other areas of life.

100. I have recently been looking at holding back and have uncovered many unwritten but clear rules and conditions in relationships that state “don’t be all of who you are or else…” However living this way is so painful, even for the body, so I’m now working on consistency, being me and not holding back, and allowing for the reality that many of my relationships may in fact now end, or change. I feel it’s so important to not hold myself back in any way also because holding back has become a normal – society truly does need the reflection of what a life lived and expressed in full looks like.

101. For me holding back what I feel, and the thoughts that say I can’t or shouldn’t express how I feel is becoming increasingly painful! This is due to the more I experience not holding back it’s becoming clearer as to how freeing and the ease I feel within myself when I do. How simple issues are resolved and life becomes lighter.

102. “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.” I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times I have done this in my life, although I am glad to say that it is not such a common occurrence these days. The consequences of not following something through that we feel is true, even though they can be very subtle, over time have an enormous impact on our bodies and we eventually pay the price. But equally when we don’t hold back and act immediatley on what what feels true, it is quite remarkable what can happen as a result.

103. ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’ What a great description of holding back – that’s exactly what it’s like, a real dulling down with a top-coat of pleasantness. Not that we need to be gung-ho and fire-cracker expressive – that would be reactionary more than responsive – but the sense of joy and lightness you evoke Lieke around what holding back is not certainly feels like it hits the mark.

104. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” Oh I hear you on this one. Sometimes the WHOLE BODY is saying one thing, and I head off in this totally other ridiculous direction. Fortunately that is happening less and less these days.

105. I am not sure, as a society, we have understood the expression ‘holding back’. I have found it is ‘normal’ and part and parcel of not standing out. Yet this is medicine and a vital part of our personal medicine cabinet if we are to ensure we do not find ourselves with physical symptoms as a result of our emotional choices.

106. This is great Leike, the effects you describe of holding back I too have had some of and plenty others but as I work with this I’m realising the actual effect on my body, energy levels and joy I feel, quite remarkable, as I express more. ‘ Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ the wisdom of the body is definitely worth listening to I’ve found.

107. The antidote you shared sounds so much more fun than choosing to hold back.

108. The effects on the body of holding back are very marked, although for many of us our body needs to show us time and time and time again the impacts of our choices. I know for me that there are so many choices I have made that have not supported where my body was at. Which I am now having to manage my body in a way that I now need to support it, because of those choices.

109. I have noticed if I hold back from saying something I can feel a tension in my throat. Its as if I have literally swallowed my words, but they are still there, only left unsaid. Its not a comfortable feeling.

110. The other day I attended a course from Universal Medicine called ‘Livingness One’. As part of the workshop we did an exercise where we stood a short distance away from another person and closed our eyes. When we did this I felt how much Love is there between us, the warmth, the connection, the quality. I just naturally wanted to be close and near to them. So what you share Lieke makes me wonder just how much do we overrule, overide and simply deny what we really feel because of rules of ‘polite society’, tradition and ‘what we see’. For if we simply let our body speak, how differently might we act? What we are holding back is the warmth and care and joy that is so naturally there.

111. Yes Lieke we can continue to live as life presents as a ‘normal life’ or choose to deepen our relationship with truth, understanding the energies that are at play, taking full responsibility for every choice we make. The body loves it and responds accordingly, life takes on a whole different meaning when we connect to the livingness within, we become one with the world.

112. Lieke, thank you for sharing this article about the effects of holding back, I love your examples and can very much relate to them, I have had a sore right knee lately and can feel that there are areas in my life where I am holding back and so this article helps me get clear on where these areas may be.

113. Lieke, I enjoy how you have spelt out what holding back is, for most people do not recognize that they are holding back, and having a list of the consequences also helps people recognize that they might indeed be holding back. You blog also gives us the sense of what true expression feels like, not as something to be afraid of, but as something to embrace whole-heartedly.

114. The amount of energy to hold back anything is just like isometric exercising! No matter how much force you put in, nothing moves, and you just get exhausted!

115. Beautiful Lieke. Thank you for not holding back in expressing all that you are.

116. Lieke, this is gorgeous, ‘It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ I feel deeply inspired reading this to be my light, joyful, beautiful self and to not hold back.

117. Even If we take something as simple and obvious as not speaking out, the effect on the body is far-reaching and quite profound… It really does behoove to foster and encourage expression in our children so that they do not have to deal with the results of holding back at least in this area.

     1. Yes and I notice I often think I can get away with it because I feel ok after it… but what if my exhaustion or reaction that evening for instance was caused by not expressing in the day? Or might it even be that reaction a week later?

        1. Absolutely Leike. So often the results of holding back aren’t so immediate, and if not dealt with can and do have far reaching consequences. The truth is, as much as we think we can, we cannot get away with holding back in any shape of form as there will always be some sort of repercussion in the body that has to eventually be felt.

118. The antidote was within the whole time.

119. I cannot wait for the day when we go to a doctor and they tell us that our problem is that we are holding back the love that we are hence why we are having physical and mental problems. That would be a great step forward in medicine.

120. Beautiful Lieke, Thank you for sharing.

121. Holding back, to me, feels like saying no to the volumes of love and Godliness that the body could be expressing. It’s like holding back the Universe because we think there are a few things in the way or people will not like seeing the Universe in everything we do. No wonder the body takes such a hit when we hold back!

122. I feel holding back is a big one for many many people, in that we do this so often in our lives. It is like instead of stepping up or forward and going for what we feel is true whether expressing or going for something in life we instead ‘hold back’ and play small. This is incredibly debilitating not only for the person but for everyone else as the all miss out on what the other person has to bring. I love how you have explained holding back here ‘Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.’ Only this morning just being with me and reflecting on the last few days, weeks I can see in my life not only where I have been holding back but also how I have been out of alignment with who I truly am, I can feel how my physical body, energetically, has not been in line (aligned to the truth of me) and I can feel a dampness in my right lung showing me this as well. So I completely agree our lifestyle is not only what we eat and drink but how we live for example do we hold back or not?

123. How can this even be Lieke, that our body says one thing but we do another? How is it that this even works? If we are so intelligent as we are lead to believe shouldn’t the results be great and beneficial to our health? But when you look at our lives, quite clearly they are not. Your words remind me that it is time we let our body have a go in control of the steering wheel, for the sickness, disease and illness we see is very real.

124. There is no doubt whatsoever that every time I hold back it affects my body and how I feel. It is a question as to whether I choose to listen and honour me and my body or follow that which is outside of myself but when I do listen to my inner heart and act on it, it is the absolute love I can offer another.

125. Not holding back gives us the opportunity to truly connect, feel and express from within our body. In that connection we are all of us, the beauty, love, tenderness and expressing in full.

126. How familiar, I never thought I was a person who held back until I came to realise just how much I actually hold back.

127. ‘Holding back is similar to hoarding’, OK Tamara, so I need to look at this a bit more as i still have a tendency to hoard…

128. Holding back is similar to hoarding – hanging on to stuff out of fear of not having enough or not being enough.

     1. Tamara that is a great point, we can become attached to material things believing they make up the short-fall of living a portion of ourselves.

129. Holding back is a comfort that I have become so accustomed to that strangely it feels like home, the stepping out, being still, the standing up and letting go can actually can feel wrong. When you really consider it, its all upside, I am slowly realising that home is actually going to take some getting use to, when you have been gone for so long.

     1. I can relate to that one but what I am finding is that the more I make statements like ‘I don’t want to be all of me’ my body responds by seizing up, especially in my calves they become very painful! I have held back for so long that being me and not holding back can in my mind appear scary but the truth is my body is constantly telling me how painful it is to hold back and how joyful and freeing it is to not hold back.

        1. That is very true, the beautiful and sometimes painful messages that our body give us are a great reminder of what it means when we live is a disharmony.

130. Not holding back covers so many areas that it asks us to truly listen to our body and not all the beliefs and ideals we can be influenced by in our heads.

131. We so often look to others or the outside for confirmation of who we are are and that what we are doing is great. But what if no matter if anyone saying anything can actually make any difference? What if true change can only come from within. And so we are the only people who can decide whether we are holding back or not. No one else can and we should not judge ourselves by what others say. For me not holding back is a real surrendering to my innermost rather than something outward. So it is not about saying everything rather surrendering and observing and then expressing what is there is to be expressed. It takes a lot of pressure off and means there’s no trying.

132. Not holding back for me is a quieter way of being, instead of being busy and buzzy, allowing my body to express its natural tenderness, and instead of being pushy and loud, allowing myself to feel what needs to be done and doing it from there. There is an innate wisdom I can tap into very easily and because it is so easily there I tend to dismiss it, but it is powerful and needs to be expressed and I need to appreciate it, appreciate me. So the not holding back is not holding back my own love.

     1. It’s a great point you make here Carmel. True power works seemingly behind the scenes and is never showy or loud, yet it has a magnificence and grace that inspires and transforms.

     2. Yes there is this notion around that not holding back is being active, busy and out there yet it is also expressing the deep stillness we are and the grandness we are and there does not need to be a lot of bravado around that!

        1. I can relate to that one, sometimes not holding back can be as simple as sitting on the sofa and not holding a tension in my body, allowing the seat to support me rather than tensely perched.

        2. Yes very true, Leigh we need the reflection of people being very loving and tender with themselves instead of pushing and striving to get recognised and seen to be doing the right thing. Walking with tenderness is another one I very much enjoy.

133. Not holding back is the most loving gift we can give to ourselves. We do not need to seek it anywhere and no one else can give it to us, but we can lovingly live this in respect to ourselves and to others each and every moment in life.

134. Brilliant Lieke, we struggle still with not smoking, eating food that is safe for us, taking drugs and cutting ourselves. Yet what if the world knew today that all of this pales in comparison to us holding back? For our body is designed to live life all-in, with presence care and joy within. If it is not our way then we are already polluting our body and the day with seriousness, concern and stress. God knows we have certainly tested this.

135. This blog reminds and inspires me to express in fullness as I can still hold back in some areas of my life. It reminds me that to hold back is harming and to express is always healing; if the expression is clumsy at least that can be corrected and built upon, but if held in the body there is no movement and stagnation results.

136. I love this statement Lieke,
     “it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” Something that I am beginning to honor deeply as a foundation in not holding back what is within to be shared.

137. Lieke I was just having a moment where I allowed a doubt to invade and then I read your blog, particularly this sentence ” It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.” and I’m back….

138. Love how practical you make this – a simple remedy of just going for it, being everything that we inherently are, and then allowing the body to feedback, or being aware of the body’s feedback. A very simple antidote to holding things too tight and trying to control everything.

139. I love what you’ve shared here Lieke, especially that when we honour ourselves and what we feel it’s not about the outcome but the fact we’ve honoured ourselves – it doesn’t have to be perfect and this is hugely empowering to feel and know in our bodies. We learn and develop further our relationship with our bodies and the more we tune in the more we can feel and see what our bodies feels and needs next. It’s the beginning of an ever deepening relationship with us.

140. I can feel how holding back is to force myself against a strong and natural flow. It is not natural, is exhausting and eventually takes its physical toll on the body. But if I do express with that natural flow, my body feels easy and loving.

141. I have been waiting for a ‘right moment’ to express myself to someone (well, actually a few people), and this explains why I have been feeling how I have been feeling.

142. Thanks Lieke, this is my experience also that when I hold back and do not express myself or speak up my whole body gets tight and uncomfortable but when I do express it feels like I get a whole new sphere of life to live in, it’s like my body becomes bigger than the physical body I can see with my physical eye and I guess that is true also, that we have a physical body and we also have an energetic body that affects the physical.

143. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” I would often get times when I felt to do, say or express something and stopped myself. This was my normal, it was as If even though all my body was telling me something I didn’t let myself go there. It’s great to see the extent of holding back this was and as a result the incredible tension and frustration that built up in my body. These days like you I make sure I allow myself to freely express what I feel to, the change is quite incredible yet so normal.

144. The indulgence of holding back caused my appendix to burst causing me alls sorts of problems, and so it goes to show that holding back in any way does nothing but cause harm and slow down our evolution in more ways than are obvious.

145. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ Our body speaks so clearly if we are willing to listen and to deny its messages goes against our natural flow.

146. Indeed Lieke it is a whole science learning to feel, observe and honour the impulses that we feel.

147. This is a very inspiring and deep sharing, thank you Lieke . The symptoms you describe that may appear in our bodies, some of which I have at times myself, are not surprising .

148. I had never considered holding back even a possibility or a condition until I witnessed in others the changes they have made in their lives by expressing more of themselves and their love for themselves and life. It should be something that is considered a disease or illness just as much as those of a physical nature which we so commonly associate with the terms ‘illness’ and ‘disease’.

149. Holding back as you have said Lieke has a mired list of excuses. We can change our whole livingness… but if there is something we hang onto at the same time, can we move forward? We must commit to just letting go of everything that is not true for change to happen.

150. This is a great blog Lieke, sharing that there is a real impact on the body when we hold back. Not only hold back but not express who we truly are and this then impacts others also. So the knock on effect is even broader than we can even feel. The choices we have today and what is on offer to feel is immense, we just have to get out of our own way and feel what is going on, read what is going on also, and not react to the world and where it is all at.

151. Great diagnostics at work here – how much we hurt ourselves when we hold and shrink back from our responsibility to express all we truly are.

152. Thank you Lieke for yet another needed reminder to look at all the areas of our lives where we may be holding back, and paying attention to the messages the body is giving us so that we can make different choices.

153. The impacts of acting in separation to the knowing of our whole body is something that really needs to be included in our healthcare overview. Imagine if we went to the doctors and they checked our vital signs and medicated our symptoms but also asked if we have been ‘holding back’ lately as a possible cause of our ailments. How brilliant would that be!

154. Thank you Lieke for your sharing. The ironic and deeply arrogant fact is that we think we can hold back and may think only of the potential impact such holding back has for ourselves. We may feel its impact on our body and even recognise it comes from holding back. But rarely do we honour that by expressing in full again, much less recognise and feel the impact our holding back has on all of those around us and the wider humanity as a whole.

155. It was great to re-read your blog to reflect on any thing I am still holding onto that is delaying me expressing my full light and love.. even a small holding back can hold back the fullness of our light and love. What I have come to truly understand is that when we stand in the power of our love then there is no holding back.

156. So much wisdom in this blog. 2 parts I am really feeling and appreciating are, “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” – beautifully and clearly defined. And “Following my impulses ……. it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” How many times have I held back from doing something because of a fear of failing somehow, or not being perfect? Too may to count with the consequence of untold damage to not only my health and wellbeing but that of our collective health and wellbeing. The way I live affects the quality of life we all experience.

157. When we hold back who we truly are, we are actually creating problems for ourselves as well as dishonouring other people. It is crazy really that we shy away from the beautiful people we are, when in truth we have the potential to offer so much to another when we stay connected to the Divine.

158. Thank you Lieke for the beautiful reminder to not hold back in expressing the tender and loving person that I truly am. There is no doubt that expressing who we truly are allows life to flow and our bodies to feel divine, harmonious and still.

159. Your article this morning has allowed me to feel a deeper, subtle holding back that has been so ingrained in the way I move my body that I had not before considered was holding back, but it is. Lying underneath it is putting my security first, a telling in how old beliefs undermine what I now know to be true, that all are equal, so if my security is my first go to place, I have let myself be separate to others and a call for truth.

160. Great blog Lieke, with you showing the consequences of both sides of the coin, holding back and expressing in full. I am finding the more I express fully, the easier and more natural it becomes.

161. I am appreciating that we/you are having conversations that include knowing we are ‘from God’! To hold back this truth causes harm to our bodies. We are naturally configured to fully express the fullness of God. I am reminded of a song which contains the words – I have no right to be less than who I am’ Go for it Lieke!

162. Yep, lifestyle makes a difference, and holding back hurts in a way that can be felt very strongly if we choose to feel it. I would often just pop some pain relief so as not to feel whatever it was that was hurting. But now, I actually take time to ask why it is hurting and quite often, if I stop, connect and rebalance, the pain goes of its own accord.

163. It is great to clarify that lifestyle doesn’t just mean what eat, drink and smoke, but it is a whole way of living, right down to the emotions we indulge in (or don’t), the way we physically choose to move our bodies and how we choose to express or hold it back. I too have been a “holder backerer” and the tightness I have felt in my body as a result has been huge. I am learning to not hold back the true me and express what is there to be shared and the change is profound.

164. A great reminder Lieke. The nastiest poison we can actually put in our bodies is the contraction that comes with holding back, not letting the grand love we have in our bodies come forth. In denying who we are, we slowly annihilate ourselves.

165. I can relate to so much of what has been shared here, feeling the impacts of having held back in my body my absolute awareness and then been in reaction to others for not feeling what I do. So then dulling my expression more and more so as to not have to feel what it is I haven’t been bringing to the world. This has not served anyone, so now that I know that is what I have been doing, I have the opportunity to make other choices and bring all of me in all that I do.

166. Lieke, this is such a cool blog and an awesome, honest sharing. So clear and true. I’ve noticed lately how much I hold back and how I’ve allowed myself to become passive aggressive- what a horrible trait! And it feels terrible. I hold back in expression and gloss things over with ‘it’s okay’ when it may not actually be what I’m feeling. Thank you for your inspiration ☺️

167. Fantastic to read your antidote to holding back, so many vital points you raise. When we are not ourselves we start to manifest all sorts of illness and disease depending on what it is we need to learn. What you have written here Lieke is a simple but magnificent science of how life works when we either choose to hold back or claim in full the love we are.

168. It is amazing the knock on effects and consequences of holding back. It seems minor but affects everything. Even the smallest amount then leads to a little bit more and then suddenly we are way off from who we truly are. I have found that the quicker I can catch myself the quicker I can bring myself back. And there is a vast difference when I am fully being myself and to when I am holding back – everything can feel the difference. And I then have to ask myself what quality am I offering people when I am holding back because it is not all the love that I am?

169. I agree Lieke and just wrote about this somewhere else. The holding back you are speaking of is an interesting one. We have this perception that we just go here, in other words we arrive at a point and whether we deem it ‘good or bad’ the reason it is like it is is because of bad luck, genetics, Mum and Dad’s fault, the government, God, no reason etc. We don’t often look at our choices prior to that point or how we walked to that point. What I am saying is that we don’t just arrive at any given point, there is a trail there and if we were to consistently take a deeper look at this trail we would learn much about how we arrived where we did. This supports what you are saying Lieke in that I feel things all the time, some you may deem big and other small, but how am I with those feelings or impulses? Do I follow them or express them or do I ignore them because I’m to busy, I’ll do that later, I’ve got a list of things to do etc. I’m not saying live perfectly because that too is just a distraction, I’m saying listen to yourself, your body and the more you follow you body’s lead, the more you will see your arrival at any given point is only part of the whole picture. We are only looking at parts and while we do that, other parts are being ignored and hence when something happens we only see part of a solution and not how to truly heal ourselves.

170. Thanks Lieke for clearly laying it out – I cringed when you described that impulse ready and waiting to come out, bursting with joy, only to be smothered in politeness and good manners – I know this and I often attempt to rationalise this, but in fact it does not work and my body shows me. But as you say and show here it’s those little steps where we get honest and see and feel our impulses and do them, even if they do not turn out as expected. It’s definitely the honouring that is key, not the result.

171. I have come to understand and realise how much holding back can hurt not just ourselves but those that we are in connection with. This game that I realised that I am quite good at playing I am starting to fully understand the extent and hurt of it all. So the question that I have to keep asking myself is do I continue in a way that is hurting myself and all those around me or do I starting going for it and let All of Me Out.

172. Not allowing the natural flow of things is such a familiar feeling to me and is so directly reflected back to me by my digestion. Holding onto things, churning them over and generally not going with the flow can be felt so easily from my own body.

173. Great point Lieke, The body likes to operate in the fullness of our expression, and when we hold back our expression, in any way, we are adding weight, putting the brakes on ourselves and the body’s natural expansion and expression.

174. I never realised how holding back can be so detrimental to our bodies. The way I used to live I was completely shutdown to who I am and what I can bring, I have been developing this significantly since being introduced to Serge Benhayon and being inspired to connect to who I truly am. When I feel this I know I am absolutely exquisite so why hold that back… Sometimes I let stuff get in the way of this but more and more I am realising that I don’t like it when I do so even more of a reason to be All of Me, All of the Time.

175. I still hold back on a daily basis and I feel this tension. What I have found supportive is to feel into what it is I am holding back and not entertaining the emotional upheavals that can occur that I haved used as a distraction to avoid feeling what my body wants to express. By staying with my feelings I am more able to express them whereas if in reaction all that comes out is judgement or other nonsense and the holding back remains.

176. I can add to your list pain and cramps in the lower legs and sore knees. Holding back can be very subtle yet at my core I know I do. My body gives me very loving signals and it is my choice to look at these signals for what they are or make them into something else and find a cure.

     1. I can relate to this one Nikki, especially the knees as it is a sure sign I am holding back if my right knee hurts, not forgetting the tension I feel within my body.

177. I have held back a lot in expressing my truth and It is only now really I am coming to understand the harm it causes humanity when we do not speak our truth. I have become a lot more stronger in myself and body to now stand up for truth and express my truth, I am forever evolving in my expression as this is continuously unfolding. But I know now in my body that if there is a truth to be shared it must be expressed.

178. It’s incredible the power of saying how we feel, opening up and letting people in, even if it is one step at a time. To talk, share, communicate is amazing. I see so many people in relationships having lunch or dinner and not talking. They may be both sitting on their mobile phones, or one person is whilst the other feels devastated and looking out the window, or at people walking past. It’s saddening to see people not communicating, or just being nice and saying pleasantries.

179. Holding back is like to tighten the lid on a steamer. The pressure builds up and in the end somewhere we need a release. This might be ailment in the body or through abusive behaviour to ourselves, others or both.

180. Expressing who we are and not holding back allows us to meet life through our bodies first, trusting and surrendering to the divine.

181. Reading your blog again, I realise how much I am still holding back. I currently suffer from 2 minor symptoms in your list of ‘What are the effects of holding back on my body?’ This highlights to me I am choosing to hold myself back from express all of who I am. It is a work in progress for me to choose to express love and truth without holding back.

182. Sadness is a huge effect of holding back. We may think it’s lots of other things in life that are sad to feel, such as the state of the world, or how people may treat one another, which is true, but for me the greatest sadness is not being all of me, hiding away, holding back and not letting people see me.

183. Holding back inhibits so much in life from naturally unfolding. It is our responsibility to express when we feel truly impulsed to do so or we are leaving everyone less and in delay. Evolution can only happen if we allow it.

184. When we limit our lifestyle to the basic things like diet and sleep, we miss out on the whole range of other things in life that affect us, like holding back, jealousy, holding anger etc. All these things affect us just as much and when they are considered and worked on, the quality of life can be amazing.

185. Holding back is such a great thing to bring up talk about and expose, from as young as I can remember I wasn’t taught to express, but rather to pipe down, keep my opinions to myself, be nice and polite and not to be so silly. All of these things forming a good foundation for a massive amount of holding back. So it seems over the years I have been indulging in this holding back with not good consequences on my body so seeing it clearly expose here Lieke is a great healing for all.

186. I am going to be super honest, to me holding back feels physically like having one foot all the way in, and one just back on the outside, it’s there, it knows it, but it’s just back behind the line, on it’s tip toe, instead of bang both feet in. Holding back physically exhausts me and drains my body, but also brings up sadness as I know there is way much more, to live and share. Everything in my life that may not be going so smoothly or flowing is a result of holding back my playfulness, joy, cuteness, beauty, absolute knowing, straight to the point-ness, no faffing about, power and strength. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

187. The thing is with holding back it does manifest itself into aches and pains, and as much as we want to ignore it and carry on as usual, eventually the body will have to give out under the weight. Holding back physically manifests in my knees, but since I have been paying attention to the pain in my knees and discomfort which for many years was a daily occurrence, I now find that it comes as a gentle nudge to remind me to look at what I am holding back from.

188. The joy in not holding back is immense. It’s not a joy for yourself it’s a joy for people, for truth. To share something without any attachment or need, feels simple and clear. When it is shared this way people are open to what has been said and able to feel the truth rather then when you share from a place of wanting people to get it, hesitation or worrying what another may think or say, it feels like it has arms and legs.

189. What I have learnt this weekend is how amazing and magical life is when you don’t hold back, it may take a few minutes, none at all or ten sometimes to say what I feel, or what’s going on inside of me, but I can’t hold things back anymore because of the feeling/ effect it has on my body, and the knowing that what is to be shared is not for me, sometimes it comes out not quite clear, but we get there in the end.

190. Ultimately holding back or not holding back is an energetic thing. Some people can speak a lot and be holding back whilst others do not say much but are not holding back at all.

191. I didn’t always understand what it meant to hold back, but after hearing other people’s experiences like this one of how it has affected people, I started to allow myself to feel that I did the same thing.
     I now understand what it means to hold back and I also understand how it feels, when my body wants to express something…and I hold back because I have weighed up the audience (could even be just one other person with me) and how I think they might react, then I stop myself from saying/doing what I felt to do. In that, resentment among other things build up and find somewhere in my body to reside, resulting in discomfort that will stick around and get worse the more I pile on top of it.

192. Knowing that the illnesses of the body are always telling us something is such a great tool to take into our daily lives. I found living without this understanding left me feeling like it just happened and was either a nice rest and to have a moment out of the intensity of life, or an inconvenience when I just wanted to do something fun. Enter the presentations by Serge Benhayon and I started to understand that the way I am living affects my body and how much sense life starts to have with this knowing! From there it became and continues to be a very great tool to learn about parts of my life where I was living in a way that did not support me.

193. I can very much relate to this, exhaustion is a killer, and can result from holding back and performing – as in not being yourself, putting on an act, that anxiety, tension in your body – as almost living in flight mode all the time. There’s a very big difference between that and being totally surrendered in your own body, at ease, in total acceptance of yourself. With that comes a complete knowing, a joy, lightness, power, a holding of people in love rather than needing them to be a certain way. With that comes a deeper understanding of what’s going on for them or where and why certain behaviours are being displayed – including ourselves in this.

194. Holding back is an imposition on our body as our body is made to emanate. Emanating all of me is definitely a work in progress for me but being aware of my holding back is a great start. A great blog, Lieke with much to ponder.

195. I found I was holding back because I thought I was alone. We are not alone. When we connect to our soul, we connect to everyone. There is no reason to be afraid when we are connected to our souls.

196. Great article and one thing I can really see is that if we hold back on truth, it not only affects our body but everyone, we then are all affected and don’t grow. The more we express truth, the simpler life becomes.

197. Holding back is a big one to crack – and I can say I have been working on it for a while. It also seems to come in layers – as I release one layer of holding back, I then get to feel the next layer and so on and so forth. It seems an endless journey…but with each layer I shed, and each part of me that I then release, I feel lighter, stronger and more vital. It is like returning to a wonderful home where one is held with such love, and this love only grows the more we let go.

198. I am being continually reminded in my body when I hold back. It is quite overt, the key is to listen when these signs are given, but equally to express in every given moment, knowing the expression is not from me, it is for me to share for all.

199. I agree looking at the deeper aspects of our lifestyle like this is crucial for our health. And how we are affects everyone else as well so it is either medicine for us all or not…

200. Holding back has me feeling like I am embedded in concrete. It is impossible to move. How can others not be affected by this also as I have made myself useless.

201. I have noticed that holding back has felt so normal for me that at times I do not even realise I am holding back! It goes to show just how much we have made human life about managing our problems and ills, and even numbing them from our awareness and everyday reality. Have we made sickness and dis-ease the norm in humanity?

202. Alongside feeling the effects of holding back on my body I also have to feel the effects my holding back has on others.

203. “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.” I know this one Lieke and I have also found that I will feel the impulse and then measure how much of it I will give, rather than fully committing to what ever that impulse is. This can be very insidious because it offers the illusion that I am following through when in truth I am not, and there is a huge dishonesty in this.

204. “It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so.” this moved me to tears today, as it connected me to the fact that we all have such love for each other and how little we express it.

205. Holding back is a self imposed exile which promises safety and security but really is a torturous lonely prison.

206. To simply express how I am feeling at any moment without wanting to control the outcome. It sounds simple and it is and very easy when I allow myself to do it. Everything flows and there is no hardness or anxiety in my body. I don’t always feel it is easy though and sometimes make it more complicated then it needs to be but really these complications are usually excuses to not express and to go back into hiding or holding back.

207. It’s awesome how the body reflects to us how we are behaving giving us a chance to feel the effects on a physical level making us more aware and showing us the essential nature of re-connection and how we might choose and live differently.

208. I am realising that another way of holding back for me is to allow myself to become over involved in the situations around me and distracted by the challenges I create for myself in life rather than the ease and natural flow available in not holding back and living according to the impulse I feel.

209. The feeling of beginning to let go after holding back for so long is amazing – it feels like rejoining life.

210. Thank you for sharing this Lieke. I know that when I hold back it has a huge impact on me and those around me. I find that holding back can start very subtly for me, a small unspoken word here or there a missed opportunity to care for myself or another, then this creates a small momentum of holding back which then snowballs. The key for me in this, has been to realise that holding back in any small way is detrimental to me and those around me.

211. I have been hearing the words ‘holding back’ for a long time, as I continue to choose it. Because the effects aren’t so immediate or obvious as a hangover or food poisoning, I can kid myself that I can get away with it. But gradually I am feeling the harm of holding back in my body. Most of all I have felt what it’s like to not hold back, which is awesome. This marker is what allows me to know how far holding back keeps me from my naturally joyful and vital self.

212. It feels really important that the idea of a healthy lifestyle has been introduced and how limited our current definition is. Most of us think its just about eating healthy foods, exercising and being moderate in what we do. But over and over we see sports stars in what we would consider the peak of health, getting sick, having mental health or relationship issues. There is so much more to a healthy lifestyle and much of that comes from our relationship with ourselves and our body.

213. If as you say Lieke, “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do”, what a huge force we will need to bring in to hold back this wisdom. Just by writing those words I can feel the level of force and the accompanying level of pain or exhaustion in my wonderful body from opposing what is true. So the question that rises is; why do we do this so often, when surrendering to our body’s wisdom is so much easier and so much more joyful, with not a twinge of pain or exhaustion in sight!

214. I have found for me that one of the keys things in not holding back is honouring in full what I am feeling. To do this I have found I need to be really connected to my body for my body has a great sensitivity and awareness and intelligence that can feel the full picture of what is occurring and the right response that is required. When I am connected to my body there is no self-doubt, no second guessing, no toning down to suit another person or avoid a reaction from another and therefore no holding back.

215. Thank you Lieke for highlighting the devastating impact holding back has on our bodies, rippling out to all around us; I am acutely aware of my responsibility to not hold back. I love what you have expressed here, it is very inspiring;
     “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world”.

216. More and more I am realising that not only do I have to feel the holding back in my body, but I can also feel the ripple effect that this holding back has on others. Likewise, when I don’t hold back, I get to confirm how so very needed our unique expression is.

217. Lieke this blog is like a breath of fresh air, it oozes lightness of being and freedom of movement. I recently visited family and allowed myself to be myself, without self-imposed expectations, and it was the best visit ever – harmonious, fun and deeply nourishing. Now to bring this quality to other areas of my life that have been lacking the full ‘me’.

218. A great blog on the effects of choices on our body. If we considered our bodies in every choice we made our health and the world would be in a totally different place.

219. Holding back, what a beautiful sharing Lieke. One thing I am re-learning is, there can’t be limits as to what I will express and won’t, rather than trying to be liked, more popular or not rocking the boat, it is far more restorative to be true.

220. Holding back in fear of not doing something perfectly is a big one. I am learning however, that it truly is better to have a go and get it wrong than to do nothing at all, because the consequences of holding back are too big and hurtful not only to myself but to those around me as well.

221. Holding back has a big impact on our bodies in many different ways, although we may only get presented with a couple of noticeable symptoms. I certainly was holding back most of my life, and am now choosing to let go of this destructive behaviour. Lovely examples Lieke, and how gorgeous that, ‘expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful’.

222. An amazing and clear example of how something seemingly intangible can have very physical effects on our bodies – reading your blog I could relate to everything you said, having also done a lot of holding back in my life.

223. I recently found how much impact the effects of holding back my true expression was having on my own body and on others around me. I realised that it was simply a choice, to remain to stay stuck where I was, in an old pattern of holding back for fear of what others would think, or to choose to not stay there. Such a simple choice, but almost immediately I could feel a shift in my body. It has shown me that we really are in the driving seat of our own bodies, and the consequences of our choices will play out accordingly.

     1. That’s very cool Sandra. I have experienced/learnt the same thing. It’s just a choice, and although simple, not always easy when we are in a habit of doing the opposite. But well worth the re-learning.

224. You have described so well the detrimental affects that holding back has on our body. When we ponder this list you have written in this blog, it leads me to wonder why we would ever choose to hold back, yet we so often do. By developing our relationship with our body we can begin to see all the signals that our body is showing us and use these signal as signposts towards a way of being where we stay true to ourselves and live fully who we are without any holding back.

225. I am learning myself more these days to have a go at expressing myself and just going for it. Even if it is found to be not quite right later on I still learn something from this. But if I hold back and don’t express at all for fear of getting something wrong, I learn nothing and stay stuck. Expression for me is the key to personal growth and development.

226. I can really relate to this Lieke. I feel it’s the issue of Trust that’s in the way. Are we willing and used to trusting our bodies or is what is in our minds and what we think we should be like more familiar? I know that I certainly do not honour my whole body. The fact that you have listed some of the harmfull effects on the body, when we choose not to listen to it, shows us that there is a price to pay.

227. I realise that sometimes we do not even feel that we are holding back when in fact we are! I have noticed this with myself and it seems absurd but it shows how our way of living can be such that it numbs so well our awareness that we do in fact have things to share but feel more familiar with not saying it than to express it in full.

228. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” I really like this analogy as it describes beautifully how even that joyful energy, when not expressed, stagnates in the body since energy has to go somewhere and doesn’t remain static. When I express how I am feeling, whether it is being joyful, feeling love, in appreciation or if I am hurt that energy is released in the expression of it and the moment is completed.

229. Revisiting this blog from first reading it when it was first published has shown me how much, even in a short time, we can make different choices in our lives. Since first reading this blog and feeling inspired I can feel how much I have also stopped holding back and the differences in my life and my body because of this. I also love knowing that this is a part of an evolving process and so always will bring me back closer and closer to being unaffected by things outside of me.

230. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.”
     It strikes me Leike that so much of the way we as adults move, walk and hold our bodies is a great reflection of the repeated holding back we have chosen in life. Our posture speaks volumes about the way we live.

231. I love how you’ve bought lifestyle back to the very point of following an impulse we feel or not, we can easily limit our lifestyle just to the obvious diet and fitness aspects of life, so it’s great to bring a far deeper awareness to our everyday. Including the very quality and purpose we move in.

232. I am realising that even by holding back on one little thing now, that my body will immediately respond with an ache or a pain, or I will start to doubt what I know to be true. Being able to clock what is happening more quickly than I did previously means that I then have an opportunity to address what needs to be addressed. Our bodies really are totally amazing, in fact miraculous, how they will tell us immediatley when something does not feel right. Im starting to see and understand my body as being my best friend : )

233. Whilst reading your amazing blog Leike I began feeling how much I have been holding back my whole life too. ‘Holding back’ as you say “… is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do and it has had devastating effects on my body, relationships with myself, other people and life. The antidotes you prescribe are absolute gold and true medicine indeed.

234. How amazing our bodies are – as we bring love and care back to them, there is no need for the tension and pain messages constantly being sent to get our attention. A beautiful and inspiring testimony to your own healing, true health and wellbeing Lieke. It is all ‘in our hands’ by the choices we make.
     “This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful. The pain in my lower back has disappeared, my body feels more free in its movements, my back is more straight when I stand, there is a bounce in my steps when I walk and many of the other symptoms are gone and only come back to remind me when I am holding back in an area of my life”.

235. Keeping the lid on our expression, often mean the pressure is building in our bodies, needing to be released either with an out burst or via an illness. It’s a common way of dealing with situations, but to realise we have an option to release the detrimental effect in our body, with each other and the ripple effect in the world. Our inability to not express fully answers a lot as to the state of the world, with conflict and disruptions across the globe not to mention the rising rates of illness and disease.

236. I could write a whole (or holy??!) thesis on the effect that expressing myself has on my body. In a nutshell: I get to be the glorious and healthy man that I am – every day.

237. I am only beginning to learn the tremendous impact of true expression, how it clears and lightens the path and helps to free us from that which are held in. .. and conversely how not expressing how we feel keeps the denseness and fog all around us, and sickens us within as we suppress that which was there to be expressed for all.

238. I just had the picture of a piece of machinery doing its part while everything is running. If something causes that part to stop or slow down while everything else is going, the whole thing does not run well, and there is extra wear and tear and often damage to the part. I realised how similar this is to when we hold back. We are part of the whole dynamic that is running through our relationships, our society, our world and the Universe. The natural flow of everything is to keep evolving and expanding. When I hold back I am actually going against this flow. Many aspects of our lives and our society is about holding back. No wonder we are faced with such widespread reflection that all is not well in our bodies and in our world.

239. People might think that to hold back is to keep quiet and reserve words you have to speak. Yes that is, certainly a part, but it is nothing compared to holding back the Love you have in your heart. Recently I stopped fighting off this Love in me, and can only confirm Lieke what you say that this has had an effect of every cell and function of my body. Wow – just how much we hold on to old ways and ideas that no longer serve and fight the power of who we truly feel ourselves to be. Talk about madness and what a relief to no longer hold back our heart’s way.

240. It would be amazing if our doctors diagnosed “holding back” as the possible reason for the physical symptoms that you have listed here, Lieke, rather than dishing out a pill. This would raise the level of self responsibility we have for our health and well-being.

241. A timely read as I can feel some of these symptoms in my body from holding back and can feel as you say that it is about not allowing the flow of life but wanting to control it or have it be a certain way.

242. Holding back is like putting big boulders in a river to stop it from flowing – you can’t stop it, but it changes the flow.

243. It’s so interesting that our way of life, our livingness is about how we are with everything not just the things we choose to notice. Every thought, every impulse and the flow of our life runs through us. Holding back means the flow is blocked. To be truly living well the rhythm and flow are vital. Vital to be vital.

244. ‘This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful.’ This is a great truth to remember – recently I held back over something and found myself tired and slightly depressed…how crazy is that when the lightness, vitality and joy is there for the choosing.

245. It is fascinating to observe the connection between holding back, which might mean not saying something to someone when it feels it needs to be said, and a tightness in areas of the body. I notice areas of my body such as the back and hamstrings which get very tight and it feels related to how willing I am to not hold back, not just what I say to people, but how I am living and whether I am making choices that are comfortable or more open and challenging. This challenging feels like it has the ability to remove the stagnancy of energy that can be trapped in my body from taking the easy option.

246. This has been very helpful to read this morning and it never hurts to look at the areas in life which we hold back on, but it always seems to hurt our bodies when we do not express how we feel or act on something that we have felt to do.

247. I have been feeling very heavy in my body for the past week and I can feel how this is related to not expressing in full. It was only yesterday I discovered that what I thought I had previously expressed was not registered or taken notice. It hurt to be made aware of that and I could feel my anger and frustration bubbling inside, and drawing itself inward in resentment and given-up-ness – holding back further. There still is a lot to process for me around this, but to have the bodily awareness felt like a great place to start.

248. I have felt the harm of holding back and I love the feeling of expressing in full. For me, expressing in full is not about saying everything that comes to me to say, but feeling what is true to say or do in each moment and not holding back.

249. We have been ‘ hoodwinked’ into believing we are mere mortals here on this plane of life, whereas in truth the more I understand energy and not holding back, a whole universality and expanded way opens up. It’s a completely different way of living in the sea and not getting wet, we are so much more than the narrow, dense view we have been sold.

250. i love how you have explained the impact of holding back on your body. I too have felt this in my body.
     I wish I had of grown up having this explained and having my awareness supported, validated and encouraged. Oh well, now as an adult I can choose to offer myself support and develop a new way of being in the world. I am worth it.

251. There is so much that we can accomplish when we are with ourselves, holding back being who we are can have such detrimental effects on our bodies, as you have so easily described. When we build a true relationship with our qualities, not just about what we do, holding back isn’t something we want or feel to do.

252. Having just seen the physical consequences of holding back it is very clear to me that we are not getting away with pretending we aren’t awesome Sons of God.

253. What if exhaustion came from not doing too much but from doing too little? Or to put it another way, if we do stuff with out all of us in it, it will exhaust us. If we come to everything in our all, there is nothing that we can’t do.

     1. Awesome question Ottobathurst; “What if exhaustion came from not doing too much but from doing too little?”.

        I have found an analogy for what this ‘holding back’ feels like in my body; it’s a bit like running a motor all choked up & lugged down or pushing it to work when its in far too low a gear… in this way it will break down much sooner than it would running at the full-open speed it is designed to run at. The thing is we not only have a functional, physical body (that runs) but we are so much much more than that; we are a being that needs to BE and emanate the all of who we are in connection with life and everyone else! And so when we are run ourselves with the choke on (holding back so much of who we are) there is a major well of beauty and love which is meant to be expressed and shared smoldering and causing havoc inside our body.

        1. Adore this analogy. We are Ferraris – and we are not designed to stay in 2nd gear!

254. This weekend I felt tension in my body as I was holding back my expression of truth, which caused my body to go into feeling awful. It felt so reactive, as soon as I expressed to my husband my feelings, the tension just disappeared, the problem was still there, but my body felt lighter through expressing my truth.

255. There was a weekly column in a newspaper years ago called Keep Yourself Nice. It was a funny one but a serious reflection about how we are not supposed to express ourselves truthfully, and this was a guide to keeping your real feelings in. When I think of not expressing or holding myself back this phrase comes to mind. Being nice must be the worst thing for truth. Nice is hard to object to, it is inoffensive, it keeps things on an even keel, it keeps things comfortable. Being comfortable and being nice are brilliant for keeping us away from joy, truth and love. No more keeping myself nice.

256. Without this wondrous connection to the body we have no guiding impulse to respond to what we have felt is true.

257. “I have come to understand – and have now an absolute knowing for myself – that holding back has an effect on my body. A big one”.
     I have come to this understanding also Lieke and have felt the effects in my body. Although a work in progress I am learning to share, express and to not hold back.

258. I often have discussions with people which go quite deep about their lives and much is revealed in discussing holding back our light. It is a term that you may think people balk at but actually in the context of measuring who we are to fit in with other people, people really get it. People do feel energy and when presented frankly and openly, show how that knowing is able to be expressed and can come more into everyday awareness and practice, for as soon as we ‘go there’ the choice to be all we can be is automatic.

259. Thank you Lieke for sharing this blog. It is so true when we don’t act on what we are feeling and dismiss the feeling the body then has to hold on to it. If this continues over a life time of not expressing then it is like a pressure cooker within the body affecting one or mutiple areas of the body hence the level of disease we have in our society today.

260. I too have seen how holding back my truth has a big effect on my body. The body loves flow and when we hold back we stop that flow and this caused a disharmony in the body. Eventually it leads to illness and disease.

261. Staying silent in so many conversations is one of the ways I hold back….. but at the same time I know I have so much to share…… it feels really crazy. Maybe, I just have to give myself permission to share more of myself which feels very loving and very freeing to do so.

262. Leike, I have been holding back for as far as I can remember which has become an ingrained habit. I still hold back in expressing, expressing my truth and/or my feelings, but if I look deeper what comes up is an old belief that if I speak my truth others wont be able to handle it, or it will be too much, it is this old belief that still drives my ‘ holding back’. This week it is now totally in my face as I am feeling the tension and the tightness in my body and it is draining me. What it all boils down to is; lack of presence, lack of presence and lack of presence……. Well now I know what I have to work on!

     1. I can totally relate to what you say here Jacqmcfadden. I too have spent my life holding back in a belief that others would not be able to handle me and being distracted (lack of presence) has been the big way I have made sure I would not be all the brightness I am…

        I am working hard on re-developing my awareness of my body (feeling me in full) and I have come a long way. Low back issues and exhaustion are a fraction what they where and my life is gradually more and more beautiful the more of me I express.

263. Leike, your list of the effects from holding back can have on our bodies is extensive and quite shocking to appreciate that any one of these traits can and does have a detrimental impact on our physical and mental well being. If any one of these behaviours is continued to be lived year after year without any change, is it possible that these symptoms can become more and more embedded in the body, resulting in much more long term and more serious conditions. If this is the case, this must surely be an incentive to not hold back.

264. I am realising that holding back hurts more people than I could have ever imagined. And the opposite could also be said, not holding back also affects more people than we will ever imagine. The choice is totally ours.

265. Everything you share Lieke is so simple, yet so powerful. I especially like this line “it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” Usually the reasons I hold back are from a negative expectation, avoiding an imagined scenario, yet that’s not really a valid reason because where is the true evidence this will happen? And, even if it does, it doesn’t truly hurt as much as living each day in the exhaustion and stagnation of holding back.

266. Thank you for sharing this Lieke. This is so exposing of the harm of holding back. I have felt this harm and have come to realise that holding something back that is there for me to express is as harmful as doing something that is not true. My expression is required and when I hold this back, I am not only holding myself back but denying the world from receiving this.

267. I love how you’ve described the word ‘lifestyle’… It’s not just about our eating habits, sleep rhythm, how many times a week we exercise, if we drink or smoke and so forth, but ‘lifestyle’ is about a way of BEING and the quality in which we make our movements.

268. This is such a delight to read – thanks for sharing. I know our bodies have so much information just bursting to share with us and if we hold back on our selves reading it we miss out on the truth , well-being, lightness and joy that is so readily and simply available. We have it all – playing with the reading, understanding and expressing of all we are can’t ever be wrong because if it doesn’t work out we learn very quickly and can choose again. It’s the not responding to what’s there that is crippling and causes larger consequences to build.

269. I know that when I hold back my body feels it in the form of hardness and tension and also in the form of a racy heart. It puts so much pressure on my body to not express.

270. My ankles looked really swollen yesterday and I felt frustrated, feeling like my body was letting me down again. How quickly I want to lay the blame somewhere other than feeling the choices I had made to get to this point. My body was very lovingly and very clearly saying: Have confidence in your light, walk with it, stop hiding it. Our bodies are incredible vessels with each part having an intricate and intimate relationships with another part. I was making a choice energetically that played out physically in my body. Those choices are reflected in all my movements affecting what did or didn’t I eat or drink, whether I pushed and overrode my body, how I chose to speak to others. Not having the confidence to organise and articulate what I needed to support my body ended up with swollen ankles. Once the message was received my ankles and I took some simple steps, listening to my body to support it, changing my behaviours and my ankles went down.

271. ‘…there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.’ This I have also come to understand and feel more recently. Whilst had made a certain number of choices to have more self-regard and care I had not fully committed to being in a constant way of living according to how I feel. This means being present with how I feel and what I feel and making choices from there. No perfection in this but I have noticed that the anxiousness that has been building in my body has begun to dissipate simply from allowing myself to be open to this awareness.

272. The holding back in me is in many aspects of life but for me originates frmm me not appreciating my inner knowing and the fact that I am a divine being, equal to God.

273. Thank-you Lieke for saying it how it is, holding back is an unspoken killer, equally I have chosen this for years and can relate to many of these symptoms. I find that my chest area often feels drawn in also – like I am shrinking; contracting myself away.

274. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” It’s so easy to feel like we are doing alright when we fit in, yet the horrid part is that we have made a pact to be less of ourselves in order to do it – I for one became a master of this at school.

275. Reading your blog and going through the list on expressing yourself and not holding back shows how common and normal holding back as an adult in society is… it seems we only grant children the liberty to express themselves unreservedly and even with them we start to press them into certain moulds already, as to make sure that by the time they reach adulthood they know how to behave.

276. Michelle for sure expressing myself in full is my way forward too. Much of the dis-ease I had in my body has cleared as I have been willing to express myself more fully – but it is still a work in progress! Not only has my body benefited but my relationships, especially with my family, also have been enriched beyond what I could have imagined before.

277. So many of us just put up with symptoms and write them off as ‘that’s just the way my body is’ – especially lower back pain! It’s really cool how you now experience those symptoms as a reminder and not a nuisance.

278. So many messages and reflections are we offered by our bodies. The more I listen and respond the more I feel a consistency of love building which just naturally needs to be expressed.

279. When we hold back we do so because we have the false belief that we are less, or in truth not really wanting to feel our power. This certainly takes its toll on the body, which then has to clear itself.

280. Thank you for the links to the other articles on Holding Back. I am becoming more and more aware of how I hold back in life and the consequences it brings. And of course it serves no one to hold back. Definitely as I become more focussed in my body and do not let my head run away with ideas I become more confident and as I allow a quality to my movements I deepen the appreciation I have for myself that also builds a natural opening to expressing with joy; in these moments there is no holding back.

281. This is an amazing blog Lieke sharing so much wisdom on the effects of holding back our bodies that we accept as a normal way of living and life. The knowing that we are so much more than we think is the real wisdom to take away and live for ourselves in our fullness and answers so much of how we get stuck in life if we do not accept and express all we know and feel with responsibility and love.

282. My own mind has been pulling the strings, overriding my natural impulses to the detriment of my body with unexpressed, moderated, expression and a diminished manipulated lived experience. ‘Holding back ‘ causes tension in the body which results in dis-ease, so does all the distractions we bring in to not feel the dis-comfort. How simple is it to live from our fullness, which is to live in responsibility with the truth of who we are and how our body in essence naturally expresses.

283. Awesome Lieke, I’m learning to listen to those impulses and can catch the age old reaction – to hold back, as being my clear clue now, that there is indeed something here to act upon.

284. Something I have held back on recently is expressing what’s truly going on for me – I am in the process of making some huge life changes (moving countries) and convinced myself that I am strong, I can do it alone, instead of truly acknowledging the anxiousness and uncertainty that is there, and asking for help. All my life I’ve been a ‘Nope, I can do it’ kind of person and refused to feel my true vulnerability. That is now manifesting in complete exhaustion as I am slowly allowing myself to feel more.

285. We all have a unique relationship I feel around ‘holding back’, what we do, how it impacts on us. For me, one that stood out from what you shared was, “It is in not holding back from saying something, even if it might not be what others think. Not holding back even when it challenges the status quo.” Upsetting the status quo being anything that we may feel will upset someone or a situation. This can be a confronting feeling, if you bring truth and then people react. What I have been finding is allowing the tension that comes up in my body, if that happens and being ok with that. Not holding back saying what needs to be said, even it if upsets people.

286. Put like this it does indeed seem crazy to hold back, when one could choose instead to live in the joy and freedom to express truly what is impulsed by our inner heart, benefitting everyone around us, and allowing us the potential for even greater awareness and insight. This is true power.

287. How old were we when we first expressed ‘This doesn’t feel right’ Could it have been when we were young, and peer pressure was causing us to override what our bodies were telling us? Was this the moment we accepted our first ill choice of holding back how we felt? Could this have been the birth of the pattern that we would call our lifestyle? The livingness is coming back to expressing and living in the fullness that has always been within us, that we have forgotten. It is as you have said Lieke, a work in progress and well worth the effort.

288. Thank God that our bodies do talk to us in this way all of the time, as when it does talk, this is a great marker for when we haven’t been as present as we could have been, and then prompts us to make another choice and move in a way that supports and nurtures our bodies to be more our essential selves, and our cells absolutely love that.

289. What you say shows us how wise the body is, and what an amazing support in so many ways it is, Lieke. It speaks to us, and when we listen then we live more rhythmically and free in our movements, but when we choose to ignore its messages we do so at our peril with ensuing pain and discomfort. We are not a whole person unless we give our bodies a voice and allow ourselves to feel and listen to all they say. The typical cartoon image of a head walking about on a tiny body represents our contemporary way of living — from the head rather than the heart, and consequently illness and disease are increasing at an alarming rate. A simple way to turn around and stop holding back is to start up a conversation with my body. This has been a great way for me to learn to listen to it and make changes in my life.

290. Now that I can feel the effects of holding back more clearly, when I do feel this it inspires me not to hold back. I am learning that the opportunity that is presenting itself is offering me more than I could ever imagine.

291. Saying what we are actually impulsed to say changes everything for me, it is challenging at times, it might be in truly appreciating someone, or in mentioning how something feels to someone even when you know they might not take it well, or even just acknowledging when something makes me stressed or anxious. The effect on the body of not holding in thoughts is powerful and actually healing for the body, that has certainly been my experience. I would say it would definitely impact on our overall wellbeing and our likelihood of becoming unwell will lower when we speak in a loving way what we actually are feeling.

292. We are in constant communication with the universe and every particle within it. Thus, if we are closed to any of these ‘lines’ of communication, then we are holding back.

293. There is no doubt that our bodies are affected by the choices we make. Just as holding back is a choice, so too have I become very aware of the effects of emotions on our bodies, they are equally exhausting to us when we choose to go into them, and could quite happily be the cause of many of your dot point list. The more we express, the less space there is to go into emotion.

294. When we express what we are feeling, because it feels true to us and not because it’s from the slightest emotion, it is remarkable what can follow as a result. The more we are able to do this, the more we are able to let go of any anxiousness about an outcome, in fact it is kind of crazy to have any kind of expectations, because when our expectations are not met we become very disillusioned.

295. Holding back is putting a full stop on our natural evolution in life. The backlog of the unexpressed leads to tension in the body, and then everything seems complicated and hard work. Staying open, stepping up and out with our natural expression, we simply can’t hold back any more.

296. It is relatively easy to understand that what goes into our bodies has an impact on what comes out. The twist for me was understanding that I am responsible for what I allow in energetically and emotionally and that I am responsible 100% for what comes out as well.

297. I love this sentence Lieke. ‘It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ So simple and profound.

298. The place that I feel the holding back the most is in my legs. A heaviness, a drag, a lag. It can be super intense and pretty shocking sometimes. I was walking the other day and felt it. My legs were tired after just a few steps. So I clocked it, read it and became very with myself. I totally changed my presence and commitment. Said a big yes and let go. Whoosh. My legs cleared and away I went. Now that isn’t to say that the holding back is cleared and that there isn’t still plenty of work to do and old patterns to clear. But the point is that it is simply as simple as that simple choice. Am I to be the all of me. Or not. My legs give me the answer.

299. Love the detailed description of how holding back affects us – it is a disease! Love how you have brought to our attention that there is much to consider in life other than what we eat and drink and that there are so many choices of energy that we make.

300. Holding back all that you could bring to any given moment in life is basically a loveless and self centered act that serves no one. Sounds harsh I know but when you really consider it . . . it is true.

301. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do. It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’ Beautifully said Lieke. When we take that moment and express, we release the whole body from the tension created from holding back.

302. I am constantly in awe of the delicate-ness and the purpose of our bodies, and how every single thing that we chose to live is reflected to us to feel and know. The alignment to truth, to Love, to God that our bodies hold, is it itself a beauty to behold.

303. I love the depth that you offer for us to consider, that our bodies hold a far greater intelligence that our do minds. This intelligence is based on a truth from our bodies through our connection to our Soul, and as such and honoring of what is true to support not only vitality and well-being of the body but also for our healing, growth and evolution. This is clearly missing as is reflected through the state of lack of well-being is our society today, an end result of our lives lived led from our minds. When we surrender to be moved by the impulse of our Soul we feel and live through our bodies the truth that we are all born to live.

304. Looking at the list of ailments that tends to accompany holding back and the list of the antidotes shows up the fallacy of the assumption that it is inevitable to get these ailments as you get older. The fact is that people seem to be conditioned to withdraw and hold back more and more as they get older, so of course these conditions show up more. And the wonderful thing you point out in this article is that this does not need to be our lot, we can simply make a different choice.

305. Holding back is not good for our backs and so much more, I used to hold back and was protected, thinking this is a safer way to be in this world, whereas holding back hurts us and everyone much more so.

306. Great description of what holding back truly means. It is a term that gets used a lot and can get a little lost in the process of life. But how you have explained what it means and more importantly what is the impact on our bodies. This is what we need to understand more deeply, that all choices we make impact on our bodies, good, bad or indifferent choices, so holding back from expressing who we are will and can have an impact on how we live.

307. Holding back is a global epidemic and comes in all shapes and sizes…thank God for the blessing and grace of our body, being ever so consistent in showing us just how far we have gone.

308. To get a clearer picture of what holding back can do to ourselves also shows us what this means to the world we live in . We are not only depriving ourselves and others of a way of being and learning but the world needs our support too for the changes of this new Era we are in.

309. Not holding back is like letting go a balloon.

310. This is a great blog to read because holding back can be masked by being comfortable in life, nothing really challenging it to say there is something amiss, and therefore no real need to be honest. I find it is a feeling of sitting back and not engaging with life or people, but with it, goes a feeling of lack of purpose and indulging. I have seen it and felt it so often, the eyes are glazed over with a smile on the face, I am here but I am not really here. Your blog gives us all a stepping stone to see that we are holding ourselves back and the world is less as a result!

311. There’s so much to be shared. Expressing has always been one of my greatest skills. Yet, I’m learning how expressing with fragility and at times vulnerability requires a whole new level, depth of sharing. But if I choose to express in that way, I can see the profound effect it has on others. And how they become aware of the way they are expressing. Whether it is being hard, cold or actually very loving. It’s beautiful to feel and experience that we do inter-relate very strongly with each other, we just are to be honest about it, accept it and share it. My world’s changed a lot and keeps changing for the better! Without trying, but more so allowing and surrendering.

312. Our body is so very outspoken. As I learn to respond and not react to situations and people, I am learning how sensitive I am and how my body immediately reflects that. It is a great opportunity to observe and understand my avoidance tactics as well as my ideals, my reactions, my judgment, my holding back. I am in love with my body again.

313. I used to think I held back because others held back, it is a trick we tell ourselves, if others won’t do it, why should I? We sabotage ourselves and all others in the process and we enable ourselves to hold on to our issues. Being open, transparent and expressive allows us to feel the love and power we have within and it enables others to feel it, and so there in another way.

314. I have felt a big physical sensation when I do not express myself, my whole body feels like it has something to say and yet my mouth has been shut tight, it is a like a ripple, a wave that wants to naturally flow…I used to hold back because I thought I protected my hurts and could hide by doing so. I now speak more from my heart and I can feel the benefits in my body. The accumulation of holding back, energetically can only have ill effects our bodies, my health has deeply improved from practicing to truly express myself.

315. “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite”. As you have so wisely pointed out Lieke holding back is so detrimental and harmful to our bodies. So the question has to be asked why do we hold back? A question I ask myself regularly as I deepen my understanding and appreciation of being an unfolding student of The Way of the Livingness.

316. Holding back is like saying NO to who we truly are and starving the world of the uniqueness that each and every one of us bring. Even if one person is holding back, the earth is out of harmony because it is missing the reflection that only that person (point of light) can bring. Knowing that the majority of the world are holding their love back, it makes sense to me why the whole world is in disarray (one of the reasons anyway!).

317. This is a great reflection for a situation that happened yesterday where I found myself shrinking away and not wanting to be seen (an old behaviour). The feeling in my body was terrible. I was instantly exhausted, my vision was not clear, my throat and mouth was dry and I could not maintain focus. All this was really instant from the choice to hold back my joy, opinion and expression. After I clocked it and realised what was happening I made the choice to change how I was sitting the chair, feel my breath and make eye contact with people. I felt my body opening up again and was able to express.

318. I often find we can do too much talking of going over things – which is in effect holding back and not getting on with life.

     1. Such a great point, words, for the sake of words, brings complication and procrastination, going into our heads and trying to work it out does not serve, coming from our bodies and hearts is what supports clear thought and wisdom.

319. My periods stopped from holding back my power.

320. It’s deeply saddening to hold back, for in effect we are saying we are not good enough just being ourselves. And what effect does this have on society? We then confirm to others that they are not enough and must emulate something outside themselves to be worthy. I often see this in young girls and early teens trying to be, fit in or look like models they see in magazines.

321. I find exhaustion is one of the biggest effects of holding back on my body, but it goes way much deeper than this, having deeper effects in every cell and on every level of my body, even ones that I cannot see, that I am not even aware of in full yet.

322. I can relate to this blog as I too experience very similar things in my body when I hold back. Even this morning I woke and felt ready to get up but it was cold out so I stayed in bed longer, which over rode the impulse I had to get up, which then meant the lightness in my body which was there when I woke initially got heavier and thus when I did get up I felt heavier and denser than was necessary. It would have been much more supportive and loving for my body to get out of bed when it impulsed me to do so and keep warm by turning on the heater, wrapping myself in a blanket and drinking a cup of hot tea.

323. Just from the way you describe it I can feel how holding back is detrimental to our body – it is as though we are actually forcing it to fight itself by overriding the natural impulse to express what is needed.

324. Holding back for me is a form of control as I can then avoid what could be the unexpected result of following a natural impulse. I can feel the sadness in my body as I type this, as I am missing out on so much in this holding back and the world is missing out on feeling me!

325. Thank you for this blog Lieke. It is an awesome reminder of what happens when we hold back. I can get caught in feeling like, when I hold back there is no harm, as opposed to if I did something that was wrong. But what this highlights for me is that there can be as much harm in holding back as there can be in doing. Expression is everything.

326. I have also come to notice how unhappy I become when I have held back saying how I really feel. My digestive system also becomes affected – and constipation is a clear indicator for me also, when I have held back during my day.

327. Interesting too, that this blog is posted under Medicine and Serge Benhayon. We need to give this notion of a whole and complete livingness being our daily medicine – a medicine that many people are not aware of, or purposely ignoring.

328. ’This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful. The pain in my lower back has disappeared, my body feels more free in its movements, my back is more straight when I stand, there is a bounce in my steps when I walk and many of the other symptoms are gone and only come back to remind me when I am holding back in an area of my life.’ Excellent – your body carries your own in-built reminder because you have learnt not to override or dismiss the signals.

329. Holding back really is in all the little moments, yet it does have a big effect on the body. I have found when I say something I’ve previously held back, I get a strong feeling of vitality in my body. What you have shared makes sense because in every moment we can express ourselves as we naturally are and feel to do, or close this natural expression off and suppress ourselves – what a tension that is!

330. ‘Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ – YES! This is something I am continuously learning too. If we are to wait for perfection it will never happen and this is serving us as the ‘perfect’ excuse to hold back.

331. Lieke you describe the effects of holding back in our bodies really well, giving us a clear picture that we can then refer to and then start to reflect on with our own bodies. It’s great to have an understanding of how every choice we make affects our bodies natural rhythm, one that it knows how to do implicitly, if only we would choose to stay with it and support it in full.

332. Lieke this is beautifully inspiring to not hold back in expression in life. I can feel how this actually harms me. There is the temptation to see no harm in not acting or not expressing, but this actually does harm us and the world misses out on this withheld expression.

333. It causes chaos in the body, as it is naturally designed to moved forward from the moment we are born to the moment we die; the body is in a rhythm it has a very clear purpose. When we hold back, we work against this and it results in disease and disharmony.

334. Super powerful the way you have shared the two lists – goes to show it is all a choice. Holding back our true expression for various reasons has a devastating effect on our health and wellbeing. Your honest look at your own choices and how easily it can turn around is an inspiration that is much needed in our society.

335. A brilliant blog Lieke and a cracker of a statement here ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ Our bodies speak loud and clear, do we truly listen?

336. I continue to come back to re-read this blog, such is the support I feel from it in dealing with my own propensity for holding back and looking deeper into why I would want to do this in the first place?

337. I find that allowing myself to express what I feel can change the direction of a meeting, because I may be expressing what others are feeling too. My holding back is in dulling my body so that I am less aware of what I am feeling and therefore have nothing to express, and the physical symptoms come from that – if I’ve made myself racy with a distracting activity, or numbed myself with food, it all has the same effect – I am unable to truly ‘read’ situations and my response (or reaction) can be inappropriate. Physically, my heart races, and I get a stomach ache. I notice that my back hurts when I’m trying to please people, trying to make a good impression instead of simply being me. It’s lovely how the body tells us what’s going on and the more we allow ourselves to feel, the more we know.

338. This is such a great expose of the impact of holding back and the joys of expressing in full, thank you Lieke.
     I’m with you Joshua holding back serves nobody!

339. Your lists are both so spot on Leike and I can identify with both of them. This point however stands out for me today: “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” All too often I have ignored an impulse from my body rather than act on it for fear of geting or doing something wrong. But this helps no one, and by not acting on an impulse such as this now has an impact in my body almost immediately, which I am no longer able to ignore. But by acting on an impulse has the total opposite effect and leaves me feeling lighter and more energised and ready for the next impulse. It’s undoubtedly the preferable choice!

340. Holding back brings no good to anyone, it just holds us all back big time.

341. Lieke the more I read this, the more true I can feel it in my whole body with all your descriptions and love so beautifully expressed. Holding back really does hurt my body and all I am, and affects everyone by not seeing another reflecting their fullness and love also and our true purpose in the universe.

342. It is interesting to consider the physiological effects of ‘holding back’ on a cellular level in the body, and to recognise that ‘holding back’ comes from a deliberate choice of saying ‘no’ to every cell in the body that is saying ‘Yes, go for it”… Would be like living life with the hand brake on and even the foot on the brake pedal of a car trying to move forward… What a strain our choices, habits and behaviours place on our body!

343. Great description of holding back by being nice and courteous when we have much more joy and appreciation to share. I recall as a young child how others would recoil when I shared all of me and how I learnt to hold back to make them feel more comfortable. This meant later in life becoming more automatic in holding back and I feel how for me this may have added strain to my cardio vascular system.

344. When I read the list of how holding back affects the body, Lieke, I wonder why this subject hasn’t been taken up for research by doctors of conventional medicine. These ailments you describe must be the causes that fill 80% of the daily GP surgery visits. I know in my body when I have been holding back, I can have constipation, difficulty thinking clearly, tiredness, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, tension and headaches to name a few on the list. To feel the difference when we don’t hold back but simply express without any expectations, with whatever we say and however we move, the rhythm in the body flows again as we let go of the holding. It will be a great research project one day.

345. Holding back does indeed hurt. It hurts our bodies and it also denies others of what it is we could otherwise be sharing.

346. When Lieke writes about how doing something imperfectly is better than doing or saying nothing at all, she has struck a massive chord that runs deep in society today, and perhaps has been there for a very long time. For example, how often do you tell that yourself that there is no point in saying or doing anything because it won’t be perfect and no one will notice or it will not make any difference to what is going on or happening? This way of given-up-thinking is what leads us all to the mass complacency that we can see has taken over our life on earth today, with so many of us having lost faith in ourselves and our ability to say or do what is exactly right for that situation. When who knows, it could actually be your voice that makes all the difference. The first step is to re-build that self confidence again, and we can all do this through the relationships that we have ourselves – make these loving first, and love will be a part of the greater life that we all share.

347. Holding back is a huge thing for most, so great to have your sharing on this subject Lieke. It’s those moments of not being with ourselves and then not having our own support, we don’t feel solid and then let thoughts in and don’t express when something is right there to express.

348. There are so many physical and mental ailments, illnesses and diseases that all stem from the fact we hold back the divine truth and light we all come from as a form of comfort, so we don’t have to see we are not from here and take responsibility for the fact of all the self indulgent choices we have made and continue to make that are not from our Soul.

349. We abuse ourselves and others by holding back. It’s a form of separation and control.

350. Holding back is a lack of responsibility of living as a Son of God, how else is everyone else going to know the truth of where they came from?

351. “Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.” Heck yeah! I am totally with you on this one!

352. What you are sharing here Lieke is so very true, I equally have held back a lot in my life, whether it was holding back expressing, being all of who I am, not backing myself in a lot of situation and being super hard on myself. But it has been through the teachings of Universal Medicine and also session with Esoteric practitioners, that I have a very different view and livingness in life.

353. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do’. As holding back affects our WHOLE body. It makes sense that our WHOLE body suffers the consequence of this choice.

354. Holding back makes no sense when we see the magnitude of what is possible by virtue of expressing from who we really are. However, it makes perfect sense that we choose it when we see the magnitude of responsibility that we are actually avoiding in doing so.

355. Lieke it’s been a real pleasure to read your recent collection of blogs, a definite letting go on the holding back. This is a very relevant article for me, for my holding back is becoming quite chronic and I know it feels awful but I continue down this path. Articles such as yours are super important as they are very supportive for those going through a similar thing. Thank you..

356. Lieke, i have this feeling when I do not hold back, ‘This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful.’ And the beautiful thing is that it feels so natural, it feels like me, it is not like i’m trying feel light and joyful I just naturally am, it is very different to trying be a certain way or fit in or be liked.

357. I can relate to holding back from not sharing myself with other people and how this can result in a hardness in my body and ongoing sinus and ear issues. The more I let myself out it seems the more I let people in, a very interesting equal and opposite energetic movement.

358. The more I express the more I get to feel the affect of how debilitating choosing to hold back has been. I find that the more I withdraw from life and withdraw from my bodies feelings the more crazy the mind becomes and it has at times felt like a sure-fire path down the bipolar or psychosis route. Such experiences have at times terrified me but the support from Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon have broadened my understanding that such experiences are coming in, with and from energy and it is my choices and movements that allow such to be in my life or not. As such the more connected and focused I am to what my body is feeling the less crazy the mind is. I am learning that bringing our focus back to the body is the way to heal the mind and the withdrawing from life.

359. Holding back is what cripples our society and is the cause of many illnesses and diseases. I could very much relate to everything you said Lieke even down to the constipation, which I used to suffer from for a large part of my life. Even today if I hold back I will feel constipated because I am not allowing my body to flow in its natural order, it is amazing the extent that holding back has an affect on our wellbeing.

360. I reckon we have conditions on what it means to not hold back. It is like there is a level of normalcy with regard to how we are currently living that may not be who we truly are and is all we feel we know ourselves by. So in this case, one would say that they are not holding back at all. Yet are they expressing their light, their love and their power in full by claiming their truth and sharing that with all? That is a totally different perspective and one I am still learning to master.

361. So true Lieke when I hold back, I feel tired, heavy and at times depressed, it is an obvious indicator. One million people in Australia suffer from depression… why is this…. because most of humanity is holding back and not expressing their truth. Imagine if they were put on a program of expressing themselves instead of being given anti-depressants.

     1. That’s a very interesting observation. Globally, millions of people suffer from depression – and I have observed within myself and others that holding back is the “norm”. The impact of holding back on our mental health deserves serious attention and study. Thankyou for raising this point.

362. The more we allow ourselves to feel the more we not only get to feel what a true impulse feels like, but equally we get to feel the effect of holding that back. Either way it is such an incredible opportunity to learn more and more about energy and how it is part of and precedes every interaction.

363. I agree Lieke, as in the last weeks I learned to express more, and I feel much more joyful and vital. Thank you for sharing your awareness.

     1. I have to agree – these blogs are such a medicine for me each day – to express how I really feel about the topic of the blog, my livingness and understanding of it. I am actually very grateful for having the opportunity to read these blogs and share my comments.

364. I agree Lieke, holding back has a huge detrimental effect on our body and humanity.

365. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do’ ~ when we allow the space to listen, our body is very loud

366. If we were to not hold back our innate joy in the love we feel for ourselves and others, the world would look very different and our experience in our bodies on a daily basis would be full of ease, rather than dis-ease.

367. I love this Lieke. Holding back is a disease or dis-ease. Yet seeing as most people don’t register this as the case, it just goes to show how much we have accepted our ‘normal’ as being so much less than our true potential.

     1. Yes – that is true – we have come to consider it normal to edit and censor our inner impulses and how we really feel.

368. ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead’ – how often do we choose the latter option?! You can feel how much you need to contain yourself to approach life this way so how could it not have devastating affects. And by devastating, I mean when we choose anything other than the full and natural expression that is who we are.

369. To hold back and live in contraction was something I used to do as a protection, thinking that I was saving myself from getting hurt by being out there in the world too much. Now I know, as you so beautifully express here Lieke, that holding back hurts us more than anything. It makes us feel so heavy in the body that everything feels like hard work, and we miss out on the lightness and joy of living in connection to others and being a part of something so much grander than the little world of self.

370. The symptoms coming from our body from holding ourselves back is really exposing. I agree it is not just our lifestyle that affects us but not expressing who we are is hurting our body and affects our energy levels. How we feel throughout our day is not just related to an isolate thing or incident but there is so much more to consider than what is on the surface.

371. We are actually beings of joy and love and when we hold back from expressing this our body’s health and wellbeing is compromised, our lives become contracted versions of what they could be and our relationships become void of any true love and understanding. We miss out on the joy and magic of life and humanity misses out on our love, and our true reflection.

372. Every time I read this blog I feel inspired as I find I can slip into thinking life is hard and not light and joyful. Life gets dull and draining when I do hold back and it is a blessing to be reminded of this fact.

373. I was suffering from low back pain for a few months, and found out that this was coming energetically from me holding back. As I stopped holding back, so the pain went.

374. Nailed it … The pros and cons list is spot on
     The crazy thing really, it’s a con for us to hold back – and not live the pros, a live that is full and vibrant

     1. And it’s crazy not to honour the impulses we feel – yet we do it hundreds of times a day – i.e. “I have to pee” – then ” no I’ll just hold on”…”I want to say…” then “but the other person will think…”. This is the crazy dialogue or editing process that most people go through each day – thinking it is normal to do so, without looking at the consequences on our bodies. This is a great blog to show us the consequences of holding back.

375. I realise that one of the reasons I hold back is a fear of getting things wrong, or making mistakes, but in this realisation I realise that I need to have a completely new relationship with acceptance. By loving myself more and making allowances for mistakes, seeing them as points of learning changes the dynamic of holding back in the first place.

376. Holding back our true selves seems no longer a choice in this day and age, but more a way of living for the majority of us. However it is a choice in each moment to bring all that we truly are, but this can only come once we discard all that we are not.

377. Lieke this is beautiful, I love your examples of not holding back, ‘Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something’, ‘It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so’ these are gorgeous and I feel deeply inspired and uplifted reading them.

378. Lieke I’ve experienced all those effects of holding back in my life, many of them were common every day situations. Yet none of them are normal, it’s made me question why I accepted back pains, tension, anxiousness? Still today some of those can creep in. Perhaps because they are so widespread that it is not considered extreme, yet the answer you share is quite simple – express in full, be you in full and don’t hold back what we feel. A medicine that I am going to bring my awareness to today.

379. I’ve lived with such a fear of upsetting people over the years and more recently realised I’m not being true when I’m silencing myself from the truth simply to avoid someone’s reaction. I’ve slowly allowed myself to unfold into who I am and choose to speak up rather than be quiet, and the opposite of what I thought would happen often happens. People’s trust and appreciation of my honesty is the reflection I feel when I’m not holding back.

380. Pretty wonderful Lieke. Thanks for sharing. I can relate to all those effects on holding back has on the body. I can feel it in my jaw when I’m holding on and not expressing whatever needs to be said or done. My back is a sure fire way to tell me something is up also. It’s surprisingly simple to undo, and letting go of the stubbornness to do undo it is half the job.

381. Thanks Lieke, I can totally relate and I have discovered that holding back anything creates a greater sense of tiredness in my body than a lack of sleep does. I can try to remedy it with a snooze or early night but just end up feeling more tired, because what was needed was to act or express something that I had chosen not to.

382. When we hold back by not listening to our bodies we are choosing the beginnings of dis-ease in our bodies – something that modern medicine will discover soon, I hope!

383. Lieke thank you. Great lists of effects and antidotes. I certainly know the effects of holding back as my body has shown me, with various health problems which have resolved as I do this less. The more I express the healthier and more energised my body becomes.

384. One of the teachings of Serge Benhayon that really rings true, is that the quality of our movement – how we go about everything in our day – holds the key to the true quality of our livingness, i.e. whether we are living claimed, strong, joyful and alight in who we are, or we seek to diminish this.
     Holding back as you’ve described Lieke, is a movement. Even when it occurs by way of us wilfully not allowing the flow of something we know to be true – from the simplest choice of what our body calls for in our diet, to saying no to abuse in a relationship – holding back is still a movement, a resistance to love and joy in one’s life, and one that may have held ‘well-worn pathways’. And ‘ouch’ – for the myriad of ways in which this hurts ourselves and all those around us.
     Saying ‘yes’ to what is known in the depth and simplicity of the inner-heart is also a movement – one with a completely different effect upon our bodies, our well-being and all. I’d say we all know both ways very well (I know I do). The key is, are we willing to listen, learn and honour the awarenesses that come to us 24/7 in regards to which we we are choosing…?

385. Lieke, as always I love your writing and that in it, you don’t hold back the honesty, deep joy and wisdom of ‘you’.
     You’ve lifted the lid on something HUGE here – do we truly want to see the impact we are having upon our own health (physical, mental and all levels) and well-being? That holding back who we are is a ‘lifestyle choice’ the vast majority of us all make every single day when we do not honour what we know to be true?

386. I am also a work in progress from not holding back from my divine connection,
     and after 12 years of being a Student of the Livingness there is definitely a spring that has returned to my step!

387. We think we hold back from others, but we are also coping with the fact of holding back from ourselves at the same time. We hold back from one, we hold back from all. It makes no sense to think that holding back applies to only one person in our lives and not others.

388. Wow I can relate to all that you are sharing, I have experienced them all and sometimes the odd one drops in. For me the one that really stood out was “Lower back pain, especially when lying down in bed at night” and the only relief it was by pulling the knees up to my tummy.

389. Holding back for me lately has come in the form of over-eating. I might eat just the right foods for my body but then I overeat to the point where I feel a little drowsy or I feel overly full or bloated. This is a way of holding back for me because it ‘drops me’ – in other words I don’t feel quite so great, not quite so vital and not quite as clear in the head. To me this is a way for me to hold back and not shine as bright as I normally would or as much as I have the capacity to do.

390. Holding back is so harming for our bodies and ourselves, let alone the impact it has on our fellow human beings. I still struggle with holding back but am committed to deepening my expression; for me also Lieke it is a work in progress forever supported by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

391. We are a vehicle of energy – so holding back must be like forcing a stop on what is naturally flowing through us constantly – it really makes sense how that could be so detrimental to our physical body.

392. Recently I have come to admit that I am exhausted, and have been for a very long time and I can feel how holding back has been playing a big part in this. Holding back for me starts from not appreciating my true essence in full and your sharing here is so inspiring and practical. Thank you, Lieke.

393. I love the practicality of the lists you have shared here – I think everybody can relate to them easily and has or does experience these symptoms when holing back. Prescription hand outs may decrease if the first question to be asked to people at the doctors is ‘Ah I see and are you living your life in Full?’ Thank you Lieke.

394. It is all of our work in progress and all of our way forward, around and back to our true selves. How wonderful would it be if we all expressed the joy that we are without reserve? In a way I feel we are sometimes still stuck in a church like quietness when it comes to expressing and greeting each other. We hold ourselves in polite reserve. Sometimes I feel I’m bursting to change this.

395. Leike- a brilliant blog, clearly highlighting the importance of listening to our body, otherwise we create dis-ease which ultimately may stop us in our tracks to get our attention, to live a more loving, honest and claimed way.

396. What a gorgeous list the antidotes make. A simply loving, joyful and empowered way of being with life.

397. I just got to feel the effect of holding back in my body after a session with a Universal Medicine Practitioner. Through the healing touch and effect of the session I first got aware of the tension and little pains in my body, then I started to realize what I had been holding back to express in my life. Thus I can address the actual themes in my life and experience the changes in my body.

398. Holding back shows itself in many ways. I am now noticing that when I am holding back from being aware of what I am feeling I feel an immediate tension. This I am appreciating as it means I can no longer dismiss and bury what I am feeling as the message from my body is so loud.

399. ‘This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful. The pain in my lower back has disappeared, my body feels more free in its movements, my back is more straight when I stand, there is a bounce in my steps when I walk and many of the other symptoms are gone and only come back to remind me when I am holding back in an area of my life.’ I love how our body tells us loud and clear whether we are living in a way that supports us or not.

400. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.
     It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” Gosh Leike, I remember doing this so much as a child. There were many times that I wanted to do exactly as you describe, but didn’t for fear of if I did, I would be told to behave or be quiet. It became such an engrained behaviour that even today I sometimes find I do not truly express what I am feeling and therefore I am still holding back. The difference is now that by doing that, the impact on my body is far greater than it was and it tells me so very very quickly via a very real physical symptom.

401. Lieke, this is such a real and practical blog and so clearly shows what holding back is, there is so much in it and so much I relate to. Your comment on following through and honouring no matter that the outcome is, not what may be expected, is important for me to read today, I have often held back on not doing something as I’m not sure what the outcome will be, yet there is an honour in following my impulse and more it is key not to have a defined outcome in mind, that the impulse may take me to exactly what is needed and what I can learn and it may not be what I originally imagined but there is a joy in that, and you remind me that it’s about the impulse and then allowing it to unfold from there, it’s not about the outcome.

402. Top Blog Lieke and I like the lists here. This holding back stuff is huge and it serves no one, yet most of us do it and it becomes our normal. It was Serge Benhayon who presented about this subject and gave us permission to just be our true self every day. It was a game changer and life changer and I have never looked back. That was about 8 years ago.
     I find it very hard now to hold back and what I do know is that it does not make you nice and popular. Others find you challenging at times and thats’ ok because you know you are doing your best to live the Truth and honour what you feel. This ‘not holding back’ has a quality that is so worth having and appreciating. That is where I am currently at in my life and I have a body that confirms back to me that it really is working. The main thing is the vitality levels that are consistently there day in and day out.

403. The big thing that I have been feeling of late is how when we hold back it affects others. When we hold back, we are harmed, but more than this, the world misses out on the amazing quality we have to share.

404. This blog serves so many. I have and to be deeply honest still subscribe to ‘holding back’ in parts of my life, in some of my every day. This pattern is long held and through its familiarity it is like the path well worn that one chooses not to step off because of fear and wariness, because that new path is not so known, trodden by fewer and who knows where it leads…. The fact is the presentations from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are supporting more and more to identify this all too familiar choice. Exposed it needs action and the best time to start to really express is now.

405. So brilliant to see your list of antidotes beneath that long list of symptoms. That would slash the NHS pharmaceutical budget!!

     1. I agree Otto – the list Lieke gives us here is well worth noting and would help all our health systems get out of crisis mode.
        Simple lifestyle choices and not accepting holding back as a way of living is the way to go..

406. Our world encourages us to hold back -we are encouraged to be polite, not offend others, do what is normal in society etc. To not hold back is huge and with this comes truth and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. We get to see and feel the essence of another person rather than a false exterior presented to the world. I definitely do not want to hold back!

407. Holding back what we truly feel and know is such a massive condition for the majority of us.. When we hold back we try and meet expectations of others through holding pictures about how we think we ‘should’ be or how we ‘should’ present ourselves.. All the while we have to use a lot of energy to stop our innate expression that is naturally flowing through us and is coming up to be expressed – no wonder exhaustion is at pandemic levels!

408. When we have an understanding about energy and how it affects our bodies, then it makes sense that what we think or do and don’t say, would have an affect on our bodies just like our lifestyle choices do. Our bodies are these amazing things and they are talking to us all of the time, and because their job is to keep us in balance and vital health, any disruption to that balance is going to come out in different ways.

     1. Absolutely Julie, my body does send definitive messages, I just have to be open to feeling the ill choices and listen, so I recognise what to do about it! My body is opening up more and more every day to what I am feeling. After 12 years of being a Student of The Livingness I am a work in progress so that I am slowly returning to my ‘vital health’ and ‘balance’!

409. ‘Holding back’ to me today feels like me not being all of me in every second of the day, and therefore hiding in some way and holding the world back. Then there is a sense of feeling unhindered with the deepest part of myself and that part being so transparent with absolutely no effort or holding the world out.

410. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ So true Lieke and ignoring these messages exhausts us.

411. Our bodies love it when we don’t hold back – it feels so spacious.

412. ‘it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ Lieke, I felt I had struck gold when I read this this morning. I realised I get stuck in holding back for this very reason, waiting for that perfect moment to come when I am 100% sure what I say or do will be perfect, instead of going for it knowing I am perfectly imperfect and that is perfectly ok to be.

413. I also enjoyed and got a lot from reading this article Leike as it reinforces the power of expression

414. Lieke, as I was reading your blog I could basically put a tick against every single one of those symptoms you describe! Holding back actually feels like a force, like I’m putting all my effort into stemming the natural flow of expression in so many ways – written, verbal, but also how I move, how I dress, the way I am in life – by building an enormous dam or brick wall, that feels like a hardness in my whole body.

415. ‘Love this blog Leike – ‘ You may think that our lifestyle is just what we eat, how much we exercise and whether we smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs, but I have come to understand that there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.’
     – and how holding back, not living the depths of who we are actually changes our body chemistry, structure and health.

416. This is so great Lieke. I am still learning the depths to which we hold back and how incarcerating this is for not only us, but how it perpetuates the trap and the darkness that we are all held in. And it is not about becoming anything from outside of us, only to let out what is inside and allow it to flow freely as our life.

417. No one really talks about the consequences to the body in the main arena of holding back. We know we are doing it and as a result there is tension created. This tension, if left unchecked, can lead to a whole host of conditions in the body. This makes sense. A great conversation to be having because in this awareness we can make different choices and can deliver some well needed truth at the same time!

418. Lieke, This is a great example, ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’I can feel how I feel impulsed in so many ways – whether it is to sort out my office, talk to a certain person, buy a certain thing, say a certain thing and that very often I do not follow these impulses and that when I do it feels amazing.

419. Not holding back is a constant work in progress for me. I continually fall into the trap of suppressing my expression. When I do this it feels like a tension in my body, I am becoming more aware of the subtle ways in which I hold back over time. When I then express this I am able to reduce the tension felt. I am not perfect in my expression and sometimes it does not come out quite right, but in expressing it is no longer held in my body as a tension and the more I express the better I become at expressing in the moment.

420. In time, holding back and not living who we innately are will be seen as the precursors to ill health that they truly are.

421. The effects of holding back I’m sure is different for everyone, and it depends on how honest and aware each person is to take notice of it in their body. Often the only time one stops to feel their body is when there is excruciating pain, or an injury or an accident happens to put a stop to the harming momentum.
     Thanks Leike for your great blog bringing attention to something that we all do, but override our body’s signals because we choose comfort over responsibility.

422. This impact of holding back needs to be seriously studied by medical research. I have developed arthritis in my hip which is at times excruciatingly painful to walk on. I have been noticing a remarkable consistency of amount of discomfort depending on how I have been leading up to that moment: when I have had an off day holding back, it comes coupled with eating foods that don’t quite feel right for that particular day, or going to bed still stimulated, or getting emotional in my day, or entertaining thoughts that are not harmonious, at these moments my body seems more rigid without any give and hard in protection. Yet when I have had a day of loving, open and harmonious interactions with people, when I have been fully expressing and busy in activities that I know contribute to others, everything is honouring of myself and others, at these moments my body seems much more free, open and fluid.

423. Our body naturally knows how to express our grace and beauty if only we get ourselves out of the way and drop our layers of protection.

424. It is not holding back to allow the full power and grace of who I truly am to express through my body.

425. You would think that if you hold back you would conserve energy but just as you describe Lieke we drain ourselves by interrupting the natural flow of our expression.

426. If I hold back the fullness of who I am, I also find I hold back what I can offer others in my interactions and this is the height of irresponsibility.

427. You provide here, Lieke, a most profound prescription of a medicine for self-healing.

428. It is an important point to share and perhaps belief to discard around holding back because a favourable outcome may not occur. Ingrained conditioning around doing things for outcomes makes life very tense and pressure driven which is hardly a favourable environment for expressing fully and completely. Yet expecting a safe and favourable environment is not realistic. As Lieke states, the only true way to feel confident and unconcerned with the outcome is to be connected to the truth within, which is truth independent of how it is received and feels great in the body when expressed in any situation.

429. I wonder if holding back can have similar effects to an autoimmune disease? We are fighting ourselves with us being the loser, mentally and physically.

430. It’s great to share the physical symptoms experienced from holding back. We always seem to assume these are related to other things, but I also know from my own experience the degree of physical implications that come from not expressing. To look at the body this was is true medicine.

431. To do something not perfectly rather than not do anything at all… I know this one – a paralysis of fearing making a mistake born out of a belief or right or wrong. We learn so much by expressing even if it is not perfect.

432. I really like your definition of an impulse here Lieke which is a whole body experience as opposed to a thought or idea which comes from the head only. Great to make the distinction as from my experience they feel very different and come from different sources of energy.

433. Our choices are our greatest teachers, if we are willing to learn from everything they show us.

434. ‘You may think that our lifestyle is just what we eat, how much we exercise and whether we smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs. I have come to understand that there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.’
     Spot on Lieke. This level of lifestyle has an equally profound impact on the body; if not more so, as it is what leads us to the secondary lifestyle choices such as our choice of foods, and whether we exercise, take drugs, smoke or drink alcohol etc.

435. Right now I can feel how I am holding back from expressing something that I need to say to someone. By sitting with it, observing the effects it has on my body and thoughts I could then feel how I can express what I need to say very simply. The holding back makes the situation seem so much bigger than what it is and yet in the end it is just another opportunity to explore how tender and loving I can be in my expression.

     1. I agree Vicky my experience with holding back is that it takes so much more effort and energy to hold back than it does to simply express what is naturally there to express. I know this and yet my mind can come up with lots of seemingly valid excuses as to why it is better to hold back or more comfortable even though it is deeply uncomfortable.

436. When i hold back I am choosing to hold back from the world and the world needs all of us to step up right now. We have so many prompts in our body letting us know we are holding back so the choice is now mine so I am asking myself why I at times still choose comfort over truth.

437. We can feel the contraction in our bodies when we hold back. It hurts in many ways, like with cramp and low back pain, or we can feel the contraction in our throat when we don’t speak up. Compare this to when we express, we can feel a flow coursing throughout the whole body and a vibration can be felt that lights up within when we know we express from our essence.

438. Lieke I can relate to so many of the similar conditions when I was holding back, exhaustion was top on my list as well as many others. I am so grateful to the support of Universal Medicine that I now no longer hold back in expressing. Still a continuous work in progress.

439. After reading the list of ailments that can occur when holding back it is easy to see the whole world bar a few are holding back in them selves and in life. I know this list well and yes since listening to Universal Medicine can say the list has reduced greatly and I am accepting more how “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.”. Once connected to this supports life to become more simple as then all choices are in regard to my body so the love and light can express through me. Thank you Leike.

440. Holding back what we are to express naturally, as we feel it within, brings an introversion and stagnation of that unexpressed energy which gets stuck inside – and In that moment we are cutting off from the flow of life – and the part we were to play in that moment is left empty – so another loses out, as do all.

441. What you have written in your blog Lieke is a great reflection for me, I could relate to so much of what you expressed. Thank you for highlighting the devastating effects on our bodies when we hold back and contract; a very timely reminder.

442. We have no right to hold back the truth of who we. Whilst we make many choices that impact our lives, there is a grander truth that we all belong to and it is this that we have a responsibility to express. The divinity that we originate from stands still and ready for us to reveal through our bodies.

443. I love how you understand and express that we are from God and so any part of us that does not express this truth is felt in the body Lieke. Exquisite sensitivity and wisdom is felt here, thank you!

444. I know holding back only too well. Inspired by Universal Medicine and articles such as these I am practising not holding back and the effects are extraordinary. From simply complimenting someone on the scarf they have chosen to wear that lights up their eyes, going for a short walk when my body ‘suggests’ it rather than carrying on at my desk to calling out the detrimental behaviour of a child… all of these are breaking a cycle of behaviour for me, that has kept me isolated from humanity, cold in relationships and ignorant of the big picture.

445. I also found today Lieke, that as well as “not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so” we can express the love towards ourselves and our own self nurture. To neglect myself in whatever way is holding back on that nurturing expression … to listen and express from what my body feels is the antidote.

446. It’s crazy how we play ourselves down yet crave recognition so much. If we were able to appreciate how beautiful we are and how we are naturally divine beings we would just be ourselves and not put pressure on ourselves to perform or look the part.

447. Wow, Lieke, wouldn’t the world be a different place if no-one held back! When I read your dot points I realize that most of us hold back in some way or other and we keep each other back by not expressing our truth. For if one speaks up then others gain courage to also express what they feel and it opens the way for more honesty.

448. The definition of holding back is literally expanding within my life. Holding back is not only holding back in the expression of words (speaking up), but contains also the way I hold my body in every moment and in every situation, allowing the loveliness to flow through me or not. The flow of energy through me is literally communicating if I am connected or not, if I’m holding back or not. Isn’t this absolutely beautiful?

449. Watch a young child to see what not holding back is. They are totally with themselves just expressing what in that moment what is ,for them.

450. We are going against the body’s natural flow and expression when we hold back causing blocks and stagnation which manifest in ailments/illnesses many of which you have listed……our bodies are amazing in letting us know when we have shut down.

451. If I do not hold back, not give up on truth and appreciation – I do also confirm my relationship with you all.

452. We are part of the Universe which is for ever expanding. I am a part of this Universe. If I want to hold back from my expanding I have to go against my natural way of living, against a pull which is always there. To do so, go against my pull, I have to call in an energy that deny truth, an energy that ‘supports’ me in my disgraceful decision. This energy is easily accessible, it actually chum up and it is not so easy to step out of its flow again because it makes the impression of ‘normal’. This energy is called prana. And to call in prana cost me a lot. And my body, which is connected to the Universe (like I am) does reflect me the costs. What is a blessing. A good reminder to step back, observe what is going on and make my next decision.

453. Beautiful Lieke, it shows us that there is more to life than the physical life and that by virtue of this fact – that we life from a quality(energy) – we are shown in physical symptoms if we are holding back. That is actually a pretty amazing thing, and so so important that we start to understand these messages (like the above list of symptoms call) and begin to listen to them. Knowing that there is something to it for us to learn from.

454. Learning to express and not hold back is proving to be deeply freeing, and with that the realisation of just how much holding back is seemingly cemented and hardwired within, and yet all it takes is the simple step to express and we realise that the self-imposed incarceration is just a choice away to dissolve, and that it is not a part of who we truly are in any way.

455. Learning to stay present and aware of what we are feeling opens up everything, so we can know when what we sense going on is not right, and when we feel the truth of something. Learning to express that which we feel is there in that moment, cuts out all the complications, complexity, machinations, over-analysing and second guessing – all we need to do is express what we feel in that moment, and it brings everything back to a simplicity and truth that helps all.

456. The pain and ill of holding back is compounded by the further choices to deliberately make ourselves unaware of when and how much we do hold back – by overeating to numb out, checking out on excessive screen time and going into drive and overwork to make it look like we are achieving something, but it is all a smokescreen so we don’t have to look at where we have made the choice to give up on what we know to be true, and where we have held back from letting out and expressing what we do feel and know deep down.

457. ‘It is in not holding back showing that I am beautiful and know it.’ A true way forward indeed, for all to see and feel!

458. Cramps in my calves. That is where I feel it. An absolutely undeniable alarm bell that I have been holding back. I’m no biologist but it makes total anatomical sense and perfectly reflects that holding back isn’t my natural way, which is why the muscles have to cramp up tight to keep me back. Brilliant body!

     1. “Brilliant body!” – I sign this.
        My body teaches me that responsibility is a blessing, a joy and …truly powerful.

459. This blog contains an enormous revelation in that it has detailed the huge impact expression has on our overall wellbeing

460. ‘It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ This statement of truth stopped me in my tracks this morning Lieke. What was confirmed for me is that our coming ‘from God’ is not about me, it is about ALL of us. It is not our right to hold back God! Wow how powerful is that!

461. The body is designed to support us to express, so when we hold back we are going against the body’s natural flow of movement as all it wants to be is expression, in our movements, words, interactions everything that our body does!

462. I loved this blog, thank you for sharing your ‘holding back’ unfoldment, it is timely for me to read, a reminder of the impact holding back has on our bodies, and I have been feeling it in mine…with very physical pain felt.

463. Not to hold back means as Lieke states

     ‘Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.

     Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’

     It’s allowing ourselves to be ourselves and feel what wants to come out of us and allow it to and not be restricted for many reasons…i know when i don’t hold back i feel an immense joy in that moment, or a flowing of life, and or both!

464. Lieke your definition of holding back is spot on for me. ‘Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite’ Just on this point i can feel the magnitude of how it can hurt the body. it reminds me of the ocean as the tide is coming in and moving out…when we try to swim against the tide, it is almost impossible and very hard work work. The movement of the tide is like the inner impulse that comes from our body.

     However in the same breath when we move with the ‘tide’ you can feel the immediate support and power to move!

465. Hello Lieke, I have found that when you start to return to doing what you truly feel, there is always another point to make the same choice again. In other words there are levels to our awareness to what we are feeling. So at a point you may feel and do or express something, but thereafter that same expression may not support you and you may feel something else is needed. The one thing I love is that no matter how many times you have turned or do turn your back on what you feel, at any point you can return to it and everything around you will then be there to support you. Reading your blog this morning I got that memory of the “Lower back pain” and realised it isn’t there this morning for me. I looked back at my last 24 hours and appreciated why. The more awareness you have, the more or deeper expression you will need, it’s an ongoing commitment to a similar thing. Thank you Lieke.

466. I’m becoming more and more aware that insecurity, self-doubt, or the other side of the coin arrogance, ignorance, etc. have only a chance if I choose to hold back my natural Loving expression. Being connected to my eyes is a beautiful marker for me to feel if I’m holding back.

467. When I hold back there is a dullness and sluggishness in my body, as I am going against the natural expressive flow of my body. I then go into anxiousness. Thank you Lieke for sharing this, as it has brought me greater understanding.

468. I used to have all of those unpleasant effects in my body too Lieke and just accepted them as normal, though they were far from that I realised, once I began to embrace life more fully.

469. When we say that we’re holding back we’re giving it away – that there is something we are not letting out. That which is there to be let out is coming from our soul saying that this body is made to express light and not anything else.

470. What an inspiring blog Lieke! I can definately relate to many of the symptoms of holding back. Now with this deeper awareness and understanding of what it means to follow the impulses of your body, I can deepen how I honour my body, and empower myself more.

471. I find that as I express more and more and hold back less, it becomes self perpetuating, building on my previous expression, and much easier to express in every moment and not hold back. It is like the world is a training ground and the more practice I get at expressing and not holding back, the easier it is.

472. This description and understanding of holding back brings a new awareness of how much each and every person can offer the world and what could be possible if we all trusted the power within us to live completely open, lovingly and with the commitment and purpose to support each other to evolve.

473. Holding back indeed has a deep effect on our body. This is showing me the wisdom of our body, that is so clearly showing us what is true and what is not, it is only a choice to listen.

474. Lieke, I love coming back to your blog. It inspires me to really go for it with my expression and enjoy how much my body loves it when I do.

475. Lieke, coming back to your blog is a great reminder of quite how much damage holding back does to our bodies. It creates an internal fight and unnecessary struggle, causing the body to have to work against itself – what a complete waste of energy – no wonder why we are exhausted and craving food, sugar and caffeine!

476. For a long time I tried to take my holding back pattern head on and think it was something big I needed to do or change, but as you so eloquently share Lieke, it is mostly in the little things, in not allowing thoughts or feelings as ‘how will they react, this may not be right’ etc to interfere with what I feel. The key for me to move forward is to no longer be afraid to make mistakes or have it wrong at times. As this fear and the holding back itself are far worse then any mistake I could make.

477. Gosh if every single person read this and started to live its truth we would have far less illness and disease, problems and stresses in this world than we currently do.

478. Expressing our truth is the antidote for all the disharmony we can feel in our body, in our society and our planet. From years of holding back I am learning to express more and more, and I have come to realise just how powerful it is to fully express. Imagine if we all fully express ourselves and truth without holding back one bit; rage, anger, war, conflict and a whole list of things could cease to exist.

479. Holding back is a medical condition – so well said Leike. I can feel the tension and frustration it brings. There are so many ways we hold back. My expression of love for everyone is a strength but my expression of joy and playfulness is held back. The areas where it is a strength will support the areas where a full commitment has not yet been brought.

480. “It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so.” I cannot tell you how my social media and Facebook status changed when I shared this – family and friends just loved receiving it. So, on the flip side, when we don’t hold back, people love us for it. Even if they are reacting, they are still loving us for it.

481. Great expose Leike on how holding back in expressing what we truly feel to say (that is not harmful, disrespectful or hurtful to another) actually hurts our body .. something Serge Benhayon was talking about at the Expression workshop today.

482. I just read another blog about protection and I can feel how protection and holding back go hand in hand. I get caught in the trap of holding back as a form of protection, not wanting to feel like I am being exposed therefore I will hold back my expression. When I hold back my expression it is I who truly miss out.

483. Thankyou Leike for this clear and concise reflection of not holding back. For myself, the impact of holding back on my body is almost instant and I feel the consequences very clearly. As a very wise man said ‘our expression is everything’, and I am now truly beginning to understand the fullness of this expression.

484. We can not hold back or we can hold back, it is always a choice. It’s just that for so many centuries most of life has been dictated to by processes that have come about mainly from us all holding back on mass. So the life we have today on earth as a global humanity is surely a reflection of the level of the willingness we have all had throughout time on whether to hold back or not.

485. “Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.” Our natural expression is a mightier medicine that we care to see, expectations and images hold us back from what is all already there.

486. In holding back we simply get to feel all that we have unnecessarily created to get in the way of living our truly galactic potential.

487. Lieke this is so pertinent for me to read this, thank-you for explaining so well the physical contraction of holding back and equally and opposite, the expansion into more of who we are when we choose not to.

488. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” Yuck! Lieke this is so true, how horrid it feels to continue with this holding back, basically lying to ourselves.

489. Yeah we often consider lifestyle choices to be – what you eat, how much exercise you do, whether you smoke or drink – but it is much more than this – the quality of how we live, quality of our thoughts and movements has a huge impact on our health and wellbeing too.

490. “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all”. For a large part of my life holding back for fear of saying the wrong thing or appearing stupid has been the way I have chosen to be and it is only in the last few years that I have realised how irresponsible this is. As I learn to express more what I truly feel I come to know myself more deeply and I realise by holding back my true expression I am not honouring or trusting myself or indeed those who I am with.

491. You provided another piece of the puzzle for me Lieke when you described holding back as involving holding back on what my body is telling me to do. So all the ways that I may numb or stimulate my body from its natural way of being automatically means that I cannot feel what my body is telling me.

492. I really appreciate how practical and concrete this blog is in naming all the ways to hold back in life and the ways that I can express all of who I am. In the past I have limited myself to express only what is wrong with me or life and missed the point of sharing actually what is precious and there to be shared with others.

493. “This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful.” Thank you Lieke for not holding back, I can feel the joy in your expression.

494. I feel the holding back of myself as a woman, amongst women at times, and I come back to more delicateness and tenderness and a deeper acceptance. I begin again in expressing myself this way and accepting all the sensations I feel in my body. Practising not holding back with myself, such as speaking to myself, singing to myself, feeling and reading life, understanding and moving more into accepting what I see and feel about myself, are the steps and movement built to then naturally live this momentum with the world.

495. So true Lieke, holding back is exhausting. It has exhausted me most of my life. Time to let loose. Great blog, direct and to the point with no holding back! In fact if you hold back long enough you create a persona that is the opposite of who you truly are when you express yourself in full. This is obviously a protection and a hiding but who are we hiding from except ourselves? – exhausting our self in the process.

496. I agree Lieke it is all a work in progress to not hold back but it is most definitely the only way forward.

497. At my work today I realised how often I’m actually not with me. And how lovely, sparkling and ‘hot’ I feel when I am actually with me. I can tell for myself that it needs a deeper level of honesty to make the choice to be with me. As well as the honesty to clock myself when I lost it. Without judging. The difference is like day and night. Flowing Love through arms, legs, tummy, etc. or a stagnated flow of energy. And I’m the One in charge…

498. Thank you Lieke – I love your descriptions of what holding back feels like. When I reflect on the ways that I hold back they all relate to holding back just one thing – Love. I have the sense that this love is not actually mine to hold back but a gift delivered and waiting to come through me for others. I can feel the selfishness of holding back when I connect to this truth.

499. Holding back totally changes our true expression in every single aspect of our lives, nothing goes untouched. It’s only when you start to look at the patterns of holding on that you realise how insidious they are and how they creep into every situation, and before long you start to believe that way of living is true for you, but in fact it is one big lie.

500. Your opening paragraph is gold Lieke. It is very true that there is a perception that our lifestyle is narrowed down to a few choices like, do we exercise, smoke or drink, when it really involves so much more, down to every breath, step and thought we have.

501. When we hold back everyone misses out… we miss out in many ways and it harms our bodies; others miss out on what we had to bring to the situation but they also miss out on the inspiration of feeling another expressing in full. We all know when someone is expressing all of who they are and it is so very inspiring.

502. I wonder if holding back after a few decades leads to osteoporosis?

503. Understanding that holding back, or any other pattern of behaviour has a physical impact on the body is the beginning of true healing.

504. We need to start realising not only that our lifestyle choices profoundly affect our health and our experience of life, but also that those choices are not limited to our choice of food, amount of stress and exercise. Absolutely everything in the way we choose to live and especially the foundation of those choices matters. Thank you for expanding this picture to explain so clearly how much it matters if we hold back expressing our inner essence.

505. I feel that for many of us it is an ongoing process of unfoldment – as we become more confident in our expression, it becomes easier to show who we truly are in the world. As we refine our way of living and become more sensitive, we become more aware of who we truly are and what’s happening in the world.

506. Coming back to this blog is such an amazing reminder to not hold back in my day and to appreciate myself and my expression joyfully every moment. True medicine with my soul.

507. More and more I am recognising the drain on my body of constantly holding back and that when I allow myself to go with the flow and release any judgemental thoughts that try and divert me I have so much more energy and purpose in life. A truly divine way to live.

508. When I don’t hold back I feel free, my body feels lighter and I can feel the potential of all that is there for me to express. When I am holding back I feel restricted in my body like there is a contraction, stifled and unsure of the next step. I love the feeling when I don’t hold back.

509. I have found it important to appreciate how much deep care I hold for people. Feeling this and reading where people are at in caring for themselves, there is a balance to arrive at so that my expression is full while understanding what can be received at that moment, so that true love and care can be expressed instead of any need for people to change.

510. When I don’t hold back, I don’t have to think about things. It just comes naturally and whatever needs to be expressed, comes. The moment I make it about myself, I start to hold back and my mind kicks in. And yes, I can feel this in my body and also at the end of the day, because I am more tired…..

511. It’s deeply healing to read the antidotes to holding back. The grace and flow they hold is what is inside us all and it makes so much sense that not allowing this flow creates a force that disturbs and harms our bodies and those around us and the world.

512. “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” This is such a wonderful expression of a truth that goes against the popular fallacy that doing less and holding back is somehow good for us. Great to spell out the impact that it actually does have on us and on our body.

513. I am reading this blog daily at the moment as I can feel just how much holding back is a part of my life and this deeply inspiring, thank you Lieke.

514. As someone else who has spent a lot of life holding back, I can relate to everything you say here, Lieke. Reading this blog, I really don’t see the point in holding back anymore, and can feel how anxiousness and fear of being all of ourselves is just a game of delay and an avoidance of responsibility – and it hurts!. Time to go for it, I agree…

515. A gorgeous expression and example of not holding back. Thank you Lieke 🔥

516. Exhaustion, exhaustion, exhaustion. Oh my goodness. How I have felt this recently. The strain and force that I have to put on my body to hold me back from being everything that I am, expressing everything that I am and doing everything that I am here to do. It’s EXHAUSTING. Doing less, being less, expressing less – it wipes me out!

517. I agree Lieke, I’ve come to appreciate how much the way that I live my life at this deeper kind of level affects my health and wellbeing! And if it’s having such an effect on me it must be affecting everyone around me too – if I hold back then others miss out too…

518. Very recently, while on a healing course working on letting go, I have experienced how it feels to not hold back so much in my body. It feels so much lighter, physically and energetically, to not be holding back but simply embracing and expressing in full, in the way we move, speak and interact, being more open to everything.

519. Lieke, I love reading this article, it makes me aware how much I have been holding back, I know the feeling of dullness, for me a big part of this is thinking that I can’t express what feels true to me, I have held myself as less than others and therefore not thought that I was able to express what it is I feel, because I thought it was not that important. I am changing this now and am realising how powerful it is when I do express what is true and actually how very simple this is compared to the dull, tense feeling in my body when I do not.

520. I find that a big difference in my life is now how I move. Depending on how I move, I am holding back or am expressing or even expressing in full – purely through my movements. It makes a big difference.

521. Lieke I spent the last few days putting my focus on connecting with people, letting people in and not holding back. I felt with that a whole difference in that the feeling of Joy can be there all the time with everyone, but in holding back I have denied that to myself and in reflection to others. Holding back therefore affects everyone, no wonder our bodies are often not in a great place!

522. Holding back has been a big issue in my life and one that I am constantly looking at, and what I have noticed is that the more willingness I have to see the ugly out in the world the more aware and willing I am to look at the things closer to home. The holding back and not being willing to go there stands out more, eventually it gets so big that you can no longer ignore it.

523. ” Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.” This is a beautiful confirmation for me to go forward with the impulses I feel, rather than go into self doubt as to my heart felt direction. I am a people pleaser and it’s easy to get influenced, but I am realising it’s my responsibility to live on my path and clearly claim my direction with all the self love and trust of my natural impulses.

524. Nothing is given to me by accident. My task is to observe whether it comes to support me or to harm me and then to express it so.

525. From the micro to the macro, it is amazing to let myself spot where and when I hold back and how much effort it takes to do so. Awake to this I am in a position to make changes. Thank you for this inspiring article, Lieke.

526. I know when I hold back in speaking my upper body becomes tight and constricted, my shoulders curve in, and my throat feels sore. I feel more tired.
     However, after speaking there is weight removed from my shoulders, a lightness and spaciousness felt in my body and I feel more energised. So I feel it is a choice.

527. As I take the brakes off I am learning that sometimes my expression is bumpy as I learn how to express all that I have been holding back as lovingly as possible. It feels a little raw and fragile but one thing is for sure I would rather adventure into unknown territories rather than hold back out of fear.

528. Holding back what I know now does not just have an effect on me, but on all those people that I come into contact with, and more. It is draining and exhausting, as I am holding something in my body that I know to be true, but I am not sharing it with other people. This is not a responsible way to live, as others have the potential to really benefit from what I know.

529. I’m still working on this, but the feeling of even beginning to take the brakes off shows just how much it takes to hold back what we are offered in every moment and poses the question: Why would we want to do this in the first place?

530. When I get an impulse to do something and do not follow through, I use an enormous amount of energy to hold back on what I naturally want to do. Then I am tired in the morning and do not spring out of bed in the quality I know I can. My energy levels during the day are not vital and all in all I do not feel good. Holding back sucks!!!

531. I started rereading your blog today and I realised how even not going to the toilet when you need to, could be described as holding back. I experienced this yesterday in my workplace, I kept on going helping people after my body clearly had let me know it needed to go to the toilet. From not following my body I fed an anxiousness and could not be me in full. A very deliberate choice to not take responsibility in taking care for myself, knowing the ripple effect this has on others too.

532. “…there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.” This is so true Lieke, there is so much more to lifestyle and wellness that just diet and exercise. This takes holistic to a whole other level, where we realise that the quality of our every thought and action impacts how we feel and is in turn impacted by how we feel.

533. Not holding back is something I am definitely still working on. I can feel so much discomfort in my body when I hold back from expressing what is there to be expressed and then I often beat myself up for holding back. With gentle understanding I am slowly learning to express more and it feels amazing in my body when I do.

534. The feeling in the body when we express all that needs to be said is so liberating and light, so then if we know how amazing this feels, why do we still hold back? Maybe it is because we have held back so much and for so long that this behaviour has become ingrained, that this is the feeling that has become our normal. Well this is certainly one normal that doesn’t serve us one little bit, but expressing our truth in every moment absolutely does, and needs to become the new, and very joy-filled normal.

535. I have been holding back a lot in the way that I eat and the choices of food that I make. This is changing now and I am really feeling the difference. The courses that I have been doing with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported me to make these changes.

536. It is amazing how each choice we make in life affects our body directly. To know and understand where the physical ailments we experience come from is extremely empowering as it gives us the opportunity to make changes.

537. I am well known to holding back and what I am aware of is how clear we can feel within and how often it is then overrides for so many reasons. To fully surrender and only choose what is felt deep within is a development for me but when put to paper so to speak as I have done now it shows the simplicity of the choice before us.

     1. Agreed, Carolien. It is amazing to put things in writing and see the ‘black and whiteness’ of them. I find it supports me to take responsibility for my choices and to practise new ways of being – changing old patterns behaviour (in this case holding back).

        1. yes Matilda, to put it in writing or to express it out loud often gives me more clarity and supports in being very honest about the choice or behaviour.

538. I love the how you share the antidote to holding back especially the simplicity of “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected”. In life many of us move forward with the holding back, not sharing how we feel so to actually talk about and perhaps embrace what we feel can be life changing, it certainly has been for me.

539. We create more illness and disease when we hold back, we are holding back our true expression. Our body will let us know, through all sorts of way that we are holding back. It is not about being perfect but it Is about being true to what is felt.

540. Holding back is like binding our bodies with ropes. No wonder we get the same symptoms as we would if we were physically bound with ropes. The sooner we realise that everything is energy and that energy is as real as any physical manifestation of it, the sooner we will learn to live in the truth.

541. Wow Lieke, you have nailed this article and I can very much relate to the holding back. I experience a little voice that comes in and makes me doubt my next steps, of course this is not about perfection but it is amazing how much I have held back over the years in so many moments.

542. Recently feeling how the effects of holding back are in my body, I can feel the effort of doing this against my natural flow is enormous. It is the strangest behaviour to put the brakes on a flow of life that is streaming from us, because of a pattern of behaving like this, it causes a great strain on every part of the body within. Only when we start to let this go,and feel the body with less tension, do we understand what we’ve been doing to ourselves, and feel the enormous difference in the body when we express. Holding back serves no-one, lest of all ourselves, well exposed Lieke.

543. As a child, I often heard this phrase, ‘children should be seen but not heard.’ We were not supported to express ourselves and certainly not treated as equals.

544. When we do work at it we do ‘progress’, which is in great thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon.

545. We all have our different flavours when it comes to ‘holding back’ but they all result in the same thing and that is missing out on our true selves and in turn the world misses out on our full quality and multidimensional spark, letting yourself go for it, even if you make mistakes, figuring out and honouring those niggling feelings is key to igniting the spark that then shines for all to see.

546. When we don’t express truth we are contributing to everything we can’t stand about the way the world is. It takes both a strength and a raw, open fragility to express truth.

547. Why hold back? There are many reasons but in the end there are no real reasons to hold back.

     Let loose 🙂

548. Yes Linda, and expressing things that are not true or not speaking up about them is actually very harming for the body. I found this very much that accepting things that are not true actually make my body feeling heavy. Expressing what is true and felt to express on the other hand makes life light and joyful.

549. Lieke, I love this, ‘It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ Reading this makes me feel very purposeful and light, this is a wonderful reminder at the start of my day, thank you.

550. Holding back is one of those simple insidious ways we keep ourselves small and at the same time adds nothing to the world. We begin with small little things in our body, like your list Lieke, of the effects of holding back that over time grow. Over time, things we took as psychosomatic symptoms can manifest themselves into real illnesses. All of this is preventable by just expressing ourselves in full; it is that simple!

551. Holding back and not following the impulse from my soul has been my life before meeting Serge Benhayon and `universal medicine and since then being presented with the truth and knowing this is gradually changing as i build a more loving way of being listening to my body not consistently fighting it and am starting to express this in every little aspect of life simply lovingly and with my all with the truth of what i feel inside.

552. What you share Lieke further confirms the inter-connectedness of everything at micro and macro level. We cannot escape the truth that every nuance, thought, action, in-action is charged with an energy that impacts on the body to heal or harm. We’re responsible for everything that happens to us.

553. Lieke the fact that holding back is deeply harming for us and everyone else does not stop most of us living in a way that we are holding back, so its great that you’ve shared examples of what not holding back is like. It feels very much like an openness, an willingness and appreciation of everything we are and sharing that truth no matter what. It’s such an important topic.

554. Hi Lieke, you prove here that what Universal Medicine is presenting for many years, that expression is everything. the more we express ourselves to what that live inside of us the more vibrant and alive our bodies become. Actually so simple …

555. A great confirmation that our body is a very fine gauge of every action, inaction, thought and intent – in short, you are saying that everything matters.

556. I feel like my whole life could be seen as holding back. When I look back at parts of my childhood there were pockets of not holding back, of being free. In my forties I am now learning to surrender and have more of these moments.

557. There are many reasons for holding ourselves back, but none of them are true. We miss our own selves and the world never gets to see the joy of who we are.

     1. Yes Matthew, not holding back makes life very joyful. It is that expression of ourselves.

558. Holding back has been a big feature in my life and slowly it has been dawning on me to what extent, and also the effects this has on the body. One of the ways was to avoid dealing with situations where conflict was involved between others, and being piggy in the middle – this week has been an eye opener with regards to this kind of situation. There is still a lot to learn but avoidance is no longer on the cards.

559. The flood gates of Heaven are always open, it’s just us that spend our lives permanently building dams.

560. What has been fascinating to discover for me is that holding back is not just what I say or not say but that even my simple daily movements or how I walk or stand can communicate holding back and can reinforce this in my body. When I am holding back it is like I am taking up less space and even my presence is reduced.

     1. Yes Andrew, I noticed this too the other day. How I calibrate my movements when I am with certain people and this is what is most exhausting me at work or wherever I go. Quite revelatory to realise I already can make myself small by changing my walk slightly.

561. I have been acutely made aware by my body recently just how much I am holding back in how I express and how much it is linked to ignoring my awareness. For me it all starts with me ignoring or over-riding what I feel in the moment which undermines my ability to express. Ignoring how I feel creates uncertainty and in that uncertainty I doubt what I want to express. This is all a choice to reduce myself in the first place which for me is the ultimate form of holding back or giving my power away.

562. To me it makes a lot of sense what you share here Lieke!
     I especially love your list of what to not hold back on and I can still feel there are many areas where my holding back is quite ingrained and it is great to get some encouragement to express myself even more and not be afraid to stand out or be seen because of it.

563. I love this detailed observation and extensive list about how your holding back effects your body – that makes it very tangible! And I know quite a few of those symptoms, especially the lower back pain – I lived with that for most of my twenties and into my thirties and I know it had the same cause that you are describing here. It is gone since I have learned to express myself more and not hold back on what I feel!

564. I have come to the conclusion that when I hold myself back in any part of my life it affects myself and all those around me. Being all part of the whole , energetically linked we need to see that withholding our own individual piece of the puzzle we may be holding up our evolution. I have often held back my expression which means I am not sharing my piece of the jigsaw, therefore affecting everyone else!

     1. One of the nice things in life is that when we make a commitment to not holding back, we don’t need to be perfect. Our body then tells us when we are holding back and when we are fully there.

565. What an absolute joy to read your blog, Lieke the transformation from holding back to expression, “the bounce in your step” when you walk clearly shows the love and joy you are feeling by expressing in all your movements. This is deeply inspiring to all others you come in contact with, as it brings a reflection that we can all learn from, and a permission not to hold back; in effect you are showing it’s safe and allowed not to hold back, so then you inspire others to do the same.

566. I find it interesting that holding back creates anxiousness and tension and stress in our bodies, when we get an impulse to do something and we don’t do it.
     I see it like this, we are receptors of energy like a radio receiving a signal, and we receive an impulse or package of energy to carry out an action or expression.
     The energy given is the right amount to carry out the impulse/expression, we then carry out that action/expression and complete it, then our bodies and minds are clear to receive the next impulse. Living in this way life is very simple, as we are not delaying and complicating things unnecessarily, or we can hold back and not trust the impulse we are given and then invite in a different energy that separates us and our innate knowing and individualizes us and we try to create our own separate life, not connected to the whole that is impulsing us our part of the whole.

567. Many times in my life I have felt immense love and appreciation for another person, but have held back from expressing this to them, as I’ve felt they may reject it, and that would be devastating, or that it’s not appropriate for me to express that love, for example I’m in a relationship or they are. By holding back expressing this love, I then feel awkward in their presence and even avoid and close off to them, and sometimes the feeling that was initially love can turn into a sour or resentful feeling. Or I can make a whole big romantic story in my head about myself and the other person, which isn’t even true, as nothing more than simply expressing the love, was all that was needed, then the interaction would have been complete.

568. When we get a clear inspiration or impulse to do something, and we don’t do it there and then, we go into our thoughts and heads, allowing our minds to come up with doubts and or pictures or beliefs of how we should act or behave, this brings in complication and we make things difficult. The initial impulse to say something to another or carry out a certain act, was very clear and simple, but by not acting we then bring in a whole myriad of complications, and then even go to another person to help unravel the complication we brought about in the first place, by not acting in the moment on what we felt to do.

569. When I hear people say, I am tired this morning but I don’t know why because I slept well last night….I think that there is so much more to why we are tired than meets the eye. It is not just about sleep, but more about how we are during the day. What we say, what we don’t, how we move, how we are with others – this can either energize us or deplete us. Thank you for opening the conversation around what else can hold us back (mostly us!).

570. Lieke, I enjoy reading this blog and do so relate to it. I love your clear understanding of what holding back is and your practical points which give us a sense of what can manifest in the body when we do or don’t hold back. You say you are free of symptoms and they “only come back to remind me when I am holding back in an area of my life.” Isn’t the body amazing how it lets us know! Our responsibility is to heed these warnings before they develop into something more permanent.

571. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” This is so crazy that our body is screaming out for us to express and we hold it back. I have found that the more I express the more there is to express and I am working on expressing all that is there in every situation.

572. “Holding back does indeed kill our natural joy which is always there in our body but amplifies when we connect with another and feel our love and express it. Holding back stifles us and so there is a vicious cycle set up where the more we hold back, the more we hold back. This also affects others because we cannot hide the reflection we are for others. We cannot hide –we are always on display as a role model for others. If we would see the enormous effect that our holding back has on others we would see that we have a responsibility here to bring all that we are, for we have the potential to bring heaven to earth once we say Yes to this responsibility which is actually a joy, not a burden, once we let go of our resistance.

573. Feeling we have to be “nice, courteous and polite” is something many of us are conditioned to do, or the opposite, obnoxious, rude, rebellious – both behaviours come from the same energy that is imposed on us that we either align with or react to. In both cases we are reacting raher than coming from our own impulse and whenever we do that it is deadening and also it infects others with more of the same energy.

574. A symptom I feel is related to holding back is throat and thyroid problems. It makes sense to me that these could be linked because when we are not speaking up, not expressing in full, we are holding back.

575. Expression really is everything. Our expression in full whether that be in what we say, what we do and how we move is the antidote for many ill conditions as a result of holding back.

576. I would not have recognised many of these symptoms of holding back before reading this blog, but they all make sense. Holding back stifles the whole flow of the physical and energetic organism (including thought processes), contracting bit by bit until there is a backlog. When we get so used to feeling this way, we call returning to a free flowing and expressing body amazing, yet it is what can be normal and lived everyday.

577. “even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” Definitely agree with you here Lieke, because even if it may not go according to how we picture it should be the fact that we allow ourselves to stumble and fall feels so much more supportive than holding onto this picture that we have to get it right first go. Allowing ourselves to be imperfect and make mistakes is not holding back the fact of our awareness of reality and what needs to occur in our process back to not holding back completely.

578. What a great understanding of holding back Lieke. That impulse from my heart is there to share. It is what love is about. To second guess it, to think it unwanted or uncalled for, for some reason or belief, halts the free flow of love though my body and it can be felt almost immediately, if I am present enough, around my chest. This is only the beginning of the repercussions of holding back, as our lives and our world show what occurs when living like that becomes the norm.

579. Lieke, I love the antidotes that you have shared, ‘It is in not holding back showing that I am beautiful and know it. It is in not holding back my innate joy of living my amazing life.’ These feel very confirming and evolving, thank you for sharing them.

580. Awesome, timely blog Lieke, for who has not in this world held back from expressing fully who they are – for myself, I know I have chosen to ‘ fit in’ to feel safe and not stand out and not get hurt by showing my true essence. But these old patterns of behavior no longer serve and are well on their way out the door….

581. When we hold back we have to go into excess elsewhere. If we are not loving with our body, we need to do strenuous exercise to make up for that lack of care.

582. I was doing some gentle arm and shoulder exercises today and could feel how my shoulder blades kept clicking when I moved them. I realised in that moment that this is a result of me holding back all of who I am, and if I allowed the natural rhythm of my body to flow through me at all times I would not have ‘clunky’ shoulder joints. This may seem like a minor problem, but it is exactly something like this that could potentially lead to something more chronic as well as other more serious prolbems.

583. Lieke, I love how you have shared and explained what ‘holding back’ means. I too can relate to how crippling an effect it can have in the body. Holding back is like a kill joy – it is like a fizzy drink having lost its fizz! We can end up with such ailments, sore back, constipation etc all from simply not expressing what needs to be expressed. Who would have known that holding back on expression can have such a huge impact on the body and how we feel!

584. I have become very aware recently how holding back can really dull me Lieke, and how the effect this has on everything I feel or do from that place comes with a very different energy. Once exposed, there is no accepting this is how to be anymore, the bar on awareness has been raised, and we can no longer ignore or hold back now it has been exposed. I really appreciate how you have woken up the delay I have been wallowing in Lieke, it’s time for us all to step out into the limelight and shine.

585. They key is to learn from all our choices, good or bad. The choice will be felt in the body, either way you learn.

586. Expressing how we feel in all circumstances is a huge antidote to holding back and the tension we feel in our bodies. So many things in this world go unsaid or unexpressed creating the ill on our or another’s body.

587. Holding back creates misery, hence why we try to escape life or what we are feeling by the multitude of distractions we have created, food, travels, holidays, sports, extreme sports, studies, issues, relationship issues, charity ….

588. Holding back can be as simple as not going to the toilet when your body feels to.

589. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” Learning to live responding to what the whole body tells us is the greatest medicine we can give ourselves.

590. We are happy to make life about the illness, the drugs, the conditions, the addictions, and the fatigue. We research and investigate each one ‘in depth’ in a plethora of papers and magazines. Yet never have we seemed to consider that all of this may come from denying the true power and beauty we are given to share, from holding back the gold we are here to deliver, from over-ruling what we know in our heart to be true. How long will we go on, before we consider what you have presented here Lieke and see that our life is like that of a modern-day Pinocchio, when we choose to hide from our body and push on regardless.

591. Lieke I like it how you describe holding back: “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.” How revealing is that? How often did I do the absolute opposite in my life – I have to admit very often. It is really time to change it as it seems I missed a lot of interesting things and joy in my life.

592. The observation you made Lieke about lower back pain had not quite occurred to me so thank you for sharing this, I know this one too. I would say much of the world does. Actually, I’m correct – I just found this online: ‘About 80 percent of adults experience low back pain at some point in their lifetimes. It is the most common cause of job-related disability and a leading contributor to missed work days. In a large survey, more than a quarter of adults reported experiencing low back pain during the past 3 months.’ http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/backpain/detail_backpain.htm All humanity is holding back. Time to get busy bringing all of who we are!

593. It’s interesting to ponder why we hold back. What on Earth are we afraid of? Basically, the reactions of others – jealousy. We don’t like what comes back at us when we dare to express all of who we are so we reign ourselves in. But what we really need on Earth are a bunch of people who aren’t afraid to show it is possible to do life differently!

594. If I invest in what I say, what I see (or want to see), or how I should look in my movement I usually find myself dormant in expression with eventually nothing to express — I essentially become empty and distracted. I then usually eat because I am flooded with thoughts that are not in inline with what was there to express originally and now food is used to numb the tension instead of the nutrition my body truly needs. A whole lot happens as Lieke has expressed when we hold back our truth.

595. I love that we can now begin to look at illness and disease through new lens. It is apparent to me from reading this article that the cause of disharmony in the body is energetic way before it manifests as a physical symptom, constipation alone being a case in point. Awesome article.

596. Lieke I LOVE your definition of ‘livingness: ‘…a deeper level of lifestyle… which includes my whole way of living’. Lifestyle can have a very glib connotation – it can infer anything from the lifestyles depicted in glamorous home and fashion magazines to the choices we make. But livingness takes it to a whole other level as you say, and this is most helpful for people to understand.

597. It is easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we are not holding back, because other people can see it a mile off. We are very good at living in the illusion of ‘if I’m doing xyz then I must be doing ok’, whereas in fact for many of us we are hiding in the shadows of our true selves, and not willing to take full responsibility for what we are truly here to bring to the world.

598. Now that I have been paying attention to the impact of our life choices on all aspects of life including illness and disease, I am astounded how I managed to ignore and dismiss this profound link for so many years. It is a very wise recommendation from Serge Benhayon that we choose to be a student of ourself and our life, because through paying attention we develop a great deal of understanding and wisdom.

599. Living the way you described is so common and so real and accepted as the way to get through life and really does hurt our bodies as we hold back who we are and expressing this naturally to go along with the way the world dictates. But the offering that there is another way to live loving with our bodies and all we feel is beautiful transformational and a real joy. Thank you Lieke for your amazing clarity of expression and inspiration.

600. Can I add to the list? Cramps in the calves at night. This is a direct effect of me holding back during the day. It’s amazing to be seeing the effects that our every expression has on our bodies. As you say, there is plenty of dialogue, science and research on the effects of food, alcohol, sugar and the like. But we need to start looking wider than that. Only then will we get to the root cause of all illness and disease.

     1. I can attest to this one! I used to find at first a couple of years ago that feeling my foot on the bed released the pain of calf cramps that were my morning alarm clock. Then I found opening my heart instantly ceased them but now, if my heart is not open during the day nothing will stop the morning cramps. It’s like a message from the body showing that holding back is not truly supportive or healthy.

601. It is interesting that the next blog is about Osteoporosis – maybe that is another consequence of holding back?

602. Holding back is one of the greatest burdens we can impose upon ourselves, everything that is there to be expressed that we don’t express gets trapped in our body, disrupting the flow that we are naturally part of, and creating harm as the energy is stuck inside. It is also harming to those who, by our contraction and withdrawal, were then robbed of that expression that may have been the very thing they needed to hear.

603. “but I have come to understand that there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living” – yes Lieke, the more we live in deeper connection to all that’s going on around, the more aware we become of who we truly are, and the joy that’s there from living as this. I never realised or appreciated this before and would just focus on the functional aspects of life to ‘feel better’ like getting a massage, going to the gym etc., and although such things would give me a sense of relief, the underlying issue from a lack of real self-connection to what I was doing, and importantly why, meant my symptoms of feeling down, or discontented continued.. until the next ‘fix’. Holding back expressing what needs to be expressed is an illness that the body surely knows, and surely does not enjoy.

604. I love how you’ve made holding back so straight forward and the antidotes to addressing it. The correlation between physical ailments and the choice to hold back what every cell in one’s body is designed to express cannot be dismissed, or it can, but that’s when we get ill.

605. This is the antidote to just about everything I’d say – to stop holding ourselves back.
     I know what is feels like and medicine should take into consideration that this actually affects the body tremendously. If it will it will be very successful in learning the cause of many illnesses and diseases and the system would save tons of money whilst the population would have to exercise the right to be living in a responsible way that will not pollute the body – a win win situation.

606. Lieke, I can feel in this article how you have offered yourself a freedom to express and truly appreciate yourself. There is natural, welcoming and warm flow in your words. It is inspiring and true invitation to all…

607. Concerning medicine and health, it can be very focussed on the physical and not give equal attention to why the symptoms are there in the first place. It is not always because we had a trip, banged into something or over-exerted ourselves. It has so much to do with how we express ourselves.

608. I used to carry a feeling that I wasn’t good enough, beginning to speak my truth on how I feel with care and love, regardless of the reaction I have got has allowed me to feel self worth. I no longer think I am less or not good enough. Holding back is very detrimental to our self worth and self relationship.

     1. It is a big step when we can be ourselves and accept the consequences of that, the consequences we do not control and where any attempt to control them is harmful.

609. I have recently been becoming more aware of how much I hold back in the relationship with myself and so others. I openly appreciate and enjoy the divinity of other people and yet would block feeling all of it in me. The trick being I wouldn’t feel it in others if I did not already feel it in me. I gave myself a deeper appreciation programme and also realising that I was measuring what I would openly feel and what I would numb. Holding back it’s a big one and fortunately, as with other issues, it displays itself through symptoms in our bodies.

610. It is a joy to feel when we share our natural selves Lieke. “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.”

611. I like the list of practical effects that you discovered Lieke, as a result of holding back your natural expression. It makes it very relatable and brings awareness to the fact that everything has a cause.

612. Perhaps one day we will realise that every ailment and disease has at its root cause us holding back the grandness of who we are. Living a reduced version of ourselves and hence our bodies speaking loudly back that what we are choosing is actually self-abuse over ourselves and our bodies.

613. Not holding back expressing and being in the joy of who we know we are…. Thank you Lieke. When we do hold back from expressing with all of our body, our movements, what we say, and how we greet the world, what we now innately know, it’s like we smash our bodies. we have to turn on ourselves in order not to feel the enormity that is there.

614. Gosh how many people do this!!!!!! ‘Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.’ I just realised today how I kid myself in thinking I don’t know in saying ‘what am I holding back?’ The truth is we ALL know, it’s just that instead of doing what is needed or being all of us in every moment, we go for comfort or hiding instead (or comfort in hiding!)

615. Thank you Leike, this is a great blog for me to read this morning, after having an experience of holding myself back recently, I have experienced lower back issues today which I did not equate to my holding back. There is so much difference when I don’t hold back, as you expressed I can feel the joy in my step, and others get to feel the amazing love that comes through my whole being. Why hold this back? I ask myself.

616. It is true “holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do”. It is my mind, my ideals, beliefs and protective behaviours that bring on the holding back. When I connect to my whole body the initial impulse is ‘Yeay’ there is love, joy, truth and appreciation to be lived in the world, let’s go!

617. You’ve introduced that expression is a key to our health and well-being Leike, expression is clearly a fundamental element that must sit alongside diet and exercise when we talk about healthy lifestyle choices.

618. So very true, “it’s in the small things” can be applied to so many areas of our lives. In regards to holding back, I have found that honoring the small things supports the bigger choices and changes.

619. Amazing Lieke, you explain this holding back so simply that everyone is able to understand. What a beautiful description of holding back: “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.”
     Everyone would be able to recognize this, and so has the opportunity from this blog to enter life with more awareness, more settlement and less heavy fight against our natural rhythms. Thank you Lieke!

620. It was time to change a few things up this week where I had been holding back and it was a rough ride for the first few days as I could feel the impact of not having spoken my truth on the people around me. Now there seems to be more joy and openness in my relationships and the change has not gone unnoticed. The fews days of discomfort were totally worth the joy waiting on the other side.

621. Looking at your list, it is amazing how common these symptoms are and how readily we seem to have so-called solutions for them. I feel most of us are living holding back without realizing what that is doing to us and to each other. What you are offering here is absolutely huge, Lieke, and needs to be understood by all.

     1. Absolutely and it is not coincidence that lower back pain is one of the number one health issues. Our body can be understood in another way, it is not just the function and fuel that makes us feel great or not, it is how we express also.

622. Lieke the effects of holding back are devastating to our bodies, our minds and whole beings as well as our relationships. I work in an aged care home and see the effects holding back has had on people through their whole life – dementia.

623. It is amazing how a child doesn’t know how to hold back, but yet we all learn it as we grow up. It’s learned through body movements, gestures and comments that we feel are less than loving, so we change our posture to fit in. How have we became a society where holding back is so normal?

624. Such simple medicine it is to express our truth and not hold it back. After all it is naturally what we are feeling within us to do. Yet it shows how much we generally avoid simplicity when this is not the lived way.

625. This is beautiful Lieke and takes holistic health to a whole new level. Our life is one big interrelated soup where everything affects everything else, nothing occurs in isolation and as such, as you have shared, when we hold back this has an effect. It is not just what we do but also what we don’t do that has an effect on our life.

626. The physical effects of holding back, day after day, for 30, 40, 50 years is going to take a toll. It’s great to see this article Lieke – it makes sense, and I know for me the worst thing about holding back is the dullness I feel inside of not really living everything I am.

627. I’m sitting in a public place right now and I was not connected to the quality I know .. and since I have connected everyone around me looks more ‘lit up’. They appear to have more vibrancy and life to them. So, when I am dull, all around me seems dull; such is the power and beauty we innately hold and why it should never be held back.

628. When we make some changes, it becomes much more obvious to feel what is really happening in the body. We can behave in the same way all the time, for example, with tension and overeating, that is our programmed reaction, we feel a tension and reach for food to dull it. This is all a reaction from holding back. When we notice that and make a change, so we feel the tension and feel into what the tension is about, there is no need to bury that. The body feels completely different, dealing with the tension rather than holding back and burying it.

629. ‘It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ The truth so beautifully expressed, thank you Lieke.

630. When reading this I can really feel where I hold back Lieke, and how this reaction sits in my body. When this happens i do not get to feel all of me and those around me do not have an opportunity to feel my loving and open expression. No-one wins.

631. I find this article very inspiring, in how you have opened up to expressing all that you are, Lieke. It makes complete sense that the body would be impacted in such major ways when we hold back what is naturally impulsed to be expressed from within. Putting the brakes on this flow requires huge effort and puts a lot of strain on the structure of the body and the vascular system. Thank you for sharing this.

632. I am feeling the effects of holding back, and how exhausting it can be. It seems that I have to use more effort and strength to hold back, to resist the flow than I do to just surrender and allow.

633. Lieke I love your antidotes you have explained so simply and beautifully. I love this one “it is not holding back and showing I am beautiful and that I know”. Because we all do know, but we choose to numb ourselves from connecting to this knowing.

634. Lieke I love your sharing how true it is that we are living in the world by holding back and not expressing our truth to the full. If all lived expressing our truth, this would be a very different world. What is beautiful like you many of us have come to the awareness how important it is to connect and express, with the support of Universal a Medicine and Serge Benhayon. As this expands the world will start changing.

635. I recently did a Chris James weekend expression retreat in Melbourne.
     I could feel when I avoided speaking up my body felt very tense, shoulders heavy and curled in, my forehead felt tense and throat felt constricted. Unlike when I sang and didn’t hold back- my whole body felt spacious, light, there was a playfulness and joy which I wasn’t afraid to share with others. I felt like a flower in bloom.

636. How beautiful is it if a person is not holding back – it invites the other person to do exactly the same – hence protection is not needed anymore!

637. I love what you have shared here Lieke! Just last evening I was having a social dinner with some friends, I don’t know very well, and many different subjects arose that were deeper than we had shared before with each other. I found myself expressing my experiences and sharing much more openly and therefore deepening my ( our) connection. Allowing ourselves to share who we truly are makes a huge difference to our bodies and to the way we are in the world.

638. I woke up with all kinds of pain in my body this morning, including the lower back pain – which were not there yesterday. What I am feeling is a build-up of holding back, which for me feels like a series of movements that were getting in a way of me expressing in full. I am aware there has been some self-sabotaging choices I made in the past week from food to when to get out of bed, and these little things here and there are actually showing me the lack of responsibility, there feels to be some deliberateness to it. This is a kind of holding back I am feeling in my body as a vehicle of expression.

639. Thankyou for this article – it is very needed. The world is yet to consider let alone understand how our level of expression can physically affect the body. And yet it is so obvious. Express in anger, and your body clenches and hardens up. It makes sense then that you would harden up internally equally so – thus the strain on your vascular system, and heart conditions. Open up and so does your body. The shoulders sit back, the chest expands, and once again it makes sense that so does your vascular system. There is a famous study that makes us question the singular role of diet in heart conditions and whether there might be truth to the saying to “open your heart”. It is caused the Rosetto Effect – http://www.unimedliving.com/living-medicine/illness-and-disease/the-roseto-effect-a-lesson-on-the-true-cause-of-heart-disease.html

     1. This instantly makes me think of a song where they say ‘open your mind’ – I know for a fact that an open heart lets a whole lot of love in, no questions. Given how we live in today’s society ‘opening your heart’ can seem like an unfathomable experience, something intangible because we have become so used to living disconnected from our bodies. On the other hand being asked to open our minds seems quite doable given this is what we use the majority of the time. Although riddled with beliefs and ideals and educational knowledge it does seem plausible to at least entertain the thought and the possibility that there is more to life than that which we see and experience day to day. At least when we begin to question we may be open to seeing the answers.

640. With hindsight I can see the impact holding back had on myself and everyone I came in contact with, it’s an exhausting way to live which is detrimental to our health and well being, as you have shared Maree, and it’s not really how we choose to be, but for some reason we conform to an unsaid set of rules that say don’t rock the boat, toe the line and without question we mostly do, which does not serve us.

641. “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.”

     Beautifully expressed Lieke. I’ve come to realise that to hold back I’ve got to behave in such a way that I’m not or less connected to what I feel to express. By creating stress, anxiousness, etc. I’m not clear (enough) to respond to my body’s impulses. Where as if I choose to really be with me, it’s so obvious to express what is there to be expressed. How important then is the relationship with our body. And no wonder our body’s responding with all different kind of symptoms as a result of our choices to not express what’s there to be expressed.

642. Holding back effects our self acceptance big time given when we are holding back we are not accepting that we are a Son of God and that we have full knowledge of the Universe.

643. The direct link between holding back and the effects on my body are also very real. The physical symptoms you describe can and often are ‘treated’ with a very different perspective and a solution. But these don’t address the root cause of a back ache or tension be it in muscles – bowels included. When taking a moment to re-connect and ask our bodies what is happening and we honestly are willing to see and feel the true answer, the tensions lift and the pain can release quite instantly. This is such a great understanding and a load off the ‘fix me please’ option that exists for temporary relief.

644. I wonder if there are many people in the world who aren’t holding back. It seems a common challenge in one way or another. Ultimately many of us are holding back love, both from ourselves, and from others.

645. The way you describe the effects of holding back is masterful, particularly the lower back pain when lying down. It is a revelation that our body pain can be connected to our way of being.

646. Lieke, it is fascinating quite how much holding back affects our body, the way we move and the way we feel.

647. Not holding back is when I feel something to be true, and even if another person whom I deem knows more than me does not agree, I stick to my knowing and back myself no matter what or who says something otherwise. If further down the track it is exposed as not true, I will learn from the situation.

     1. I completely resonate with that, I too feel the same I stick to my knowing, and if later I am exposed as not true, I then learn from it rather than go into a reaction which is what I use to do.

648. It could not get more simpler than describing holding back as not doing something our whole body is telling us to do.

649. One of the main effects of holding back is that we end up fighting ourselves and lose a huge amount of energy as we can never win such a fight.

650. Coming back to your awesome blog Lieke was an absolute must today as I have realised that, although I am committed to not holding back anymore, it was previously such a normal way to be, that its imprint is still there. I can now see so many more ways I have held back and how insidious they are, sneaking in before I have actually become aware of their presence. Your blog has certainly lifted my awareness and increased my commitment to remove all these destructive patterns from my life and for that my body is hugely appreciative.

651. Holding back is simply bad medicine.

652. What an opening paragraph Leike, the statement that life is not necessarily all that we had thought it to be. There is a way to be in life that is supportive of our health and wellbeing that is far broader than what we eat and drink or exercise.

653. Thank you for the inspiration to explore not just how I hold back verbally but also how I hold back sharing my beauty and joy with the world and how this negatively impacts not just me but those around me.

654. ‘Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.’ I feel this too but also find that holding back can be made through trying not be aware of the impulses from my heart.

655. I realised this morning that I have been holding back on something and these were the first words I saw in this blog this morning ‘Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite’ – this is key, when we have felt an impulse really strongly to do something, but then do not follow through. Great confirmation, thank you.

656. I love all your antidotes to holding back Lieke, especially this one it is not an obvious one in today’s society, yet it is one of the most powerful antidotes I know. “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.” How often do we stop and consider this as a possibility in our lives?

657. Holding back can be seen in the physical body in how we walk and how we express, hunched shoulders, the softness of the voice, there are so many things that expose holding back from being our true selves. I had perfected it and while I still hold back, the changes in my body and how I express is very different from 10 years ago. The effort that it takes to hold back takes its toll on the body, and the many areas of pain I had in my body were a direct result of holding back, and I can see how long term this can easily lead to many illnesses and diseases we have today.

658. Holding back for me means holding back my natural abilities to feel and to express what I feel, and it can be positives as well as negatives. When I have felt something but not expressed it, it’s like it burns a hole in my head and becomes a mental merry-go-round while my mind thinks of all the different things I could have said. If I allow myself to express it there and then, it’s done, I can relax and get on with the next moment instead of living backwards in this one.

659. Lieke I love how you share the antidote to holding back “What is the antidote? Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.” I am realising the joy that becomes ignited when I don’t hold back…it’s so worth it.

660. I also love the bounce in my steps when I walk Lieke and as you say I can only feel that when I am completely with me and express myself in full in whatever has to be expressed as a reflection af that which lives inside me. Holding back this immense zest of life is not only withholding me from having this amazing bounce in my walk, but also withholds me from feeling great and makes me feel less instead.

661. It seems such a strange concept or idea that we actually hold OUR-selves back. We don’t hold a dog back from running around or hold children back from playing or hold back plants from growing but we do this to ourselves.

662. Once the body feels the grip of holding back, it really doesn’t like it, so we then choose the many and varied ways of distracting ourselves from this tension, but this only adds a greater load that we carry when we hold ourselves back.

663. I have found that not holding back can also mean a willingness to have uncomfortable conversations that resolve issues that otherwise would build and create a barrier between myself and others. Recently by frankly sharing what I was feeling I was able to also hear the other side of the story and learn so much more about how I can create situations when I am feeling hurt or angry and in reaction.

664. How powerful is it to live a life in connection to the feedback our bodies are providing constantly, to have this awareness is the key to living in full expression. It supports us to support the natural essence of who we are and our purpose in life. Without this connection we are ‘ rudderless’ being pushed and pulled in all directions, I have lived that way and my body presented many stop moments, but I didn’t connect to the body’s strong messages that were offering me a healing from my harming ways.

665. Hello Lieke and I have noticed the knock on effect of ‘holding back’. It is like in any moment if you don’t fully express what you are feeling it doesn’t just magically disappear. In other words anything you hold back you are in fact still holding, it’s still sitting in your body somewhere, an ache or a pain, a lump etc. This also then effects the next expression because you have what is there again to be said or expressed but you are also carrying part of the last. Magnify this a year or two and all of a sudden you think you are a different person or you have part of your expression covered or hidden underneath the things that have been unexpressed, interesting. One thing that has supported me to ‘clear’ the way has been Esoteric Chakra-Puncture http://www.chakra-puncture.com/ I have found this modality lightens the load we are carrying and allows you space to have more care in your choices.

666. “…my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.” Absolutely Lieke! Every aspect of my life impacts on how I feel and the situations that occur in my life. Holding back my expression is definitely one of those aspects. The further I refine my livingness and note all aspects of my life the more I am aware of how the more subtle things, like holding back, affect me.

667. I can feel a pause as I begin to comment on this blog and there it is, even in a moment of hesitation we can be holding back. The extent to which this, holding back, affects me and so many people in society I feel is underestimated and in fact this is a widespread problem causing harm to us all.

668. We don’t realise just how much our body and disposition is affected by holding back. Many of the day to day symptoms people experience are a result of holding back. The energy it takes to hold back something that is naturally there to express is great. No wonder the modern day plague of exhaustion and chronic fatigue is so far reaching.

669. My experience is that holding back the natural expression of who we are in our hearts leads to dis-ease in the body. Whereas expressing in as much fullness of who we are as possible leads to great healing, for ourselves and others.

670. Holding back, being in contraction for long periods also in my experience makes people look grey. It is a different grey than the one that I notice with those who had a lot of alcohol for many years but it is equally strong.

671. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” When I read this line all I could feel was the force that would have to be there to go against everything our body is telling us. The effect of that force would then be very punishing on the body. However that is free will, we can choose to go with what we are being impulsed to do or do the exact opposite. Each choice has its consequences.

672. Exhausting myself with the effort of having the brakes on all the time OR gently taking my foot off the brake and letting there be a flow and ease to life. The latter is becoming more natural for me as I simply practice it. It is incredibly inspiring – even if the lack of perceived control feels scary at times.

673. Reading your list Lieke it is clear that holding back is a recipe for ill health and it makes sense that so many of us are not jumping around joyfully and expressing ourselves in the way we truly feel to.

674. I can also feel here that holding back affects my sleep, it affects the way I am with myself and my partner and many other things. For example say there is someone where a relationship is not clear, not correct or not true. Instead of openly discussing this we brush it to one side and hold back how we feel, as a result we have someone unresolved festering – all because we held back.

675. Now we’re talking Leike, this is great medicine!

676. “This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful.” I can really feel how light and playful you are Lieke when you express all of yourself, because you are not carrying around the unsaid things that so commonly weigh us down.

677. More and more, I am observing the tension when I hold back, and observing the difference in the body of how it feels when I express. I am finding that the tension is my friend to tell me not to hold back, telling my body to let go and go for it, to release that feeling and allow the flow which it enjoys so much.

     1. It’s beautiful that all these tell tale signs speak so clearly to us. In surrendering to ourselves we allow the natural expression to flow and our bodies to work to full capacity.

678. “it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” This is a great line. I know for me so often I don’t follow through with expressing how I feel or doing what I feel to do for fear of making a mistake, but really if I am honest my body tells me this is worse than just going for it and learning from what happens next. Accepting the perfection of the imperfect life.

679. I agree that when it comes to our health and wellbeing we tend to look at the more obvious things like food, sleep, exercise etc but these behaviours are mere symptoms of a deeper illness. The dis-ease of not being who we are which creates a deep unsettlement in our bodies which we then seek to numb or distract ourselves from.

     1. Great point Andrew, when we live less than who we are, then this is dis-ease. And our bodies will show us to the depth of how far we have separated.

680. We all have so much love, wisdom and power in us that is naturally there to express and so to try to hold that in requires enormous effort and force which puts a huge strain and stress on the body which we can feel.

681. Thanks Lieke for blogging about this. I can definitely relate to the feeling of back pain and tension in my body when I hold back expressing what I feel, and I definitely agree that my body feels much lighter and stands taller when I express how I am feeling.

682. “It feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” I can relate very much, Lieke, to not expressing due to fear of not being perfect, making a mess, or getting it wrong. I used to hold back ‘just in case’, not willing to take the risk of being rejected. For me it relates back to a lack of self worth, and now this is what I bring my focus to – it is not about avoiding being rejected by another for stuffing up, but choosing love in my life so that I no longer reject myself.

683. To truly understand our patterns and pockets where we are holding back and then choosing differently is medicine.

684. I never thought of holding back as manifesting in the various ailments or effect that it has on the body, so I will be keeping an eye on this from now on when i check myself for holding back. There have been, and are still so many times when I hold back which has just got to stop. Look out world here I come.

685. I have without doubt felt the anxiousness that can be created by holding back and it is the holding back of me being me. Sounds crazy and it is but there is such a level of protection that occurs in life that society get to only see part of me and not the full me. It has taken a while to grasp, understand and eventually feel what that actually is, then it is having the confidence and the authority to just simply be it. Its the protection that causes anxiousness so it is a by-product experience and not something that is true or even real. So when a doctor treats anxiousness they may not be treating the real cause but the symptom, so it is like band-aiding a sore that doesn’t heal.

686. It’s true Lieke, that ‘holding back’ can be the cause of many ailments and you give a good list of antidotes which all relate to speaking the truth from the body. Why is it that we have such difficulty being true to ourselves in this way? What is the underlying cause of this holding back? How is it that we find it so hard to express love and truth and show our joyful nature? It seems crazy that we hold back from expressing the very things we so crave

687. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” This definition of holding back shows how important it is for us to first of all stay connected to the body so we can in fact hear what it is telling us. If we don’t do that the body has to speak louder until the back pain, headache or fatigue lets us know that we have been ignoring the signals for quite some time. If we then just manage the pain without looking at what we did to cause it we eventually end up with the surgery, the disease, the exhaustion and we wonder why.

688. All the reason for which we ‘hold back’ are based on ideals and beliefs that are not true. To stop holding back requires expressing truth and when you think about it that should be the easiest, most encouraged and appreciated thing ever. What has happened to humanity that subscribing to ideals and beliefs came to outweigh the value of expressing naturally and truthfully and evolutionary? Worth pondering – you betcha!

689. The interesting part that I’m observing in my life is how my body’s telling me to do something, I tend to ‘be sure’ why I’m doing what I’m doing. Life’s teaching me that I’m not at all in control and that I shouldn’t worry on the question why. I’m making life quite mental and try to overrule my body at times or be disappointed in my body because the result isn’t as expected. How arrogant is this… Learning, accepting and surrendering deeper to my body is a beautiful, at times exposing process. But as so many here share, not following my body creates tension and dis-connection. And in this disconnection, there can’t be any True Joy.

690. These last few days I have been practicing not holding back on the feelings I have had to express something. It’s taken some courage as I’m not used to it, but it has felt great and very liberating. Dealing with the tension and bottled up feeling (not to mention the repercussions on relationships) that comes from holding back is not something I want to have in my life anymore.

691. Holding back affects every-body.

692. Thank you for sharing such an awesome way forward… being all the beauty, joy, love and light we all are equally so.

693. Holding back creates huge tension and in many ways, a self-made prison.

     1. Luke, holding back sure is ‘a self-made prison’ and we are the ones who hold the key. We just need to remember where we put it and then unlock the bars.

        1. Agree, however that may be a reason why so many don’t come out as it may be a bit embarrassing to admit we had the keys all along.

694. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” I know this one so well Leike, particualrly from when I was younger. I remember feeling I could literally burst with the joy I was feeling but didn’t dare share it because of what others may think of me or what I said. As a result I learned to keep quiet, and consequently have lived a life of holding back. Thankfully this is now changing but there is still work to be done, and it is as you say, the livingness of this true expression in every moment of every day, come what may. A great blog, thankyou.

695. My goodness the list of effects from holding back that you note read as the ‘top ten’ common everyday ailments that people suffer. Therefore, raising children to honour and not hold back their expression is to totally revolutionise the way we currently use our pharmacies and medical care system.

696. An excellent expose of what holding back is and does. Thank you Lieke. I have held back in my life a lot and recognise the crippling effect it has had on my choices in life and how it has manifested also in my body.

697. What I find fascinating is how we always have the original impulse, but because we are conforming to be a certain way to fit in and be accepted, the pattern of dismissing becomes second nature to us and our default mode. It is like we have to re-train ourselves to say: Hang on, what was that? and give ourselves space to feel and listen to what our bodies are telling us.

     1. Absolutely Natalie this is my experience also – that the over-ride or dismissal of the original feeling or impulse can happen so quick or so automatically if I am not staying fully aware of how my body feels. But it can be re-trained and if we stay totally present in our bodies then we can feel this happening and choose otherwise.

698. When you describe here about how it feels to not hold back there is a beautiful feeling of expansion and freedom. This is how we can feel all the time if we allow ourselves to express in full. Thank you Lieke for not holding back this blog! It is obvious that holding back can affect our health more than we realise.

699. It is amazing how holding back creates such physical symptoms in our bodies, I can certainly recognise the back pain. I also get severe cramps in my ankles and feet when I stop myself from moving forward with an impulse to do something new. I am learning now to express who I am in full and not worry about ‘what other people might think’, and the joy that comes with that is lovely.

700. ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’ I love this description of holding back Lieke for it shows just what we are missing out on when we do choose to hold back.

701. There is also the holding back from embracing the love that we are and claiming our glorious inner beauty. This what we do whenever we play small, hide, or fail to express our truthfully what we feel.

     1. Yes absolutely Kehinde, not holding back does not always mean to get out there and do things, it can also be in going deeper into ourselves feeling our inner beauty and simply expressing that out by honouring it in full in every moment of the day.

702. Often it is as if we are at the mercy of our illness and the distress the body feels, but in actual fact we are not, and do have the power to not only change our lives, but the well-being of our bodies, depending on the loving relationship we are able to build with our bodies. So paying close attention to the areas in our lives where we hold back is a great step forward to contributing to our well-being and state of health.

703. I know that most of us will be able to relate to the symptoms you describe, Lieke, from holding back the full expression of who we are, and lower back pain is one of the most common but undiagnosed health issues. If the medical profession connected to the root causes of conditions like this, they could spend more time educating people rather than being constantly overwhelmed with treating illness and disease.

704. “It is in not holding back showing that I am beautiful and know it.” How often are we truly encouraged to do this, to show the world our delicate beauty and how much we not only know it, but cherish ourselves deeply too. We have yet to realise just how much this contributes to our health and vitality, expressing our natural beauty is an innate medicine that brings an immense joy to the world. It’s really time to not hold back our glorious beingness.

705. Straight to the point and inspiring, this article is a great moment to ask ourselves if holding back makes any sense, to explore any ‘whys’ we do it (as and when they come up to strangle our natural expression) and practise not holding back. It may be a bit clumsy at first!

706. Holding back is having powerful torch in your pocket, but you don’t use it unless you need it because there is only one set of batteries. Over time, the batteries slowly lose their power to shine fully until a time comes where the spark has long since gone, and we are left to wander in the darkness. All of this because we forgot we are the battery and how we live life, makes us shine.

707. Thank you Lieke for further inspiration to takes the brakes off and get my heels out of the ground.

708. This is such a good reminder of how physically damaging it is to hold back on our true expression – I can totally relate to it with a ridiculous list of ailments currently taxing my body. I often look around at the animal kingdom and wonder what they must think of us humans walking around so disconnected from our bodies! They are a great reminder too – a birdsong can cut the air and show me in an instant where I have wandered – a cat stretch reminds me of my need to remain connected with my body if I want it to feel as awesome as they feel – a dog in its absoluteness responding to all energy around offers me constant reminders – how much light do we hold back from the whole world when we are not being all of our true expression?

     1. Yes Debra and you gave the absolute answer there by saying how disconnected we are from our bodies. In the connection with our bodies we know what to do and how to naturally not hold back.

709. Lieke, thank you for writing this blog, it’s so appropriate for me to read right now. I’ve been the Queen of holding back and I”m learning more each day that it doesn’t work, and that when I do it hurts. That lower back pain you speak of I know it well, and today I feel more alive and with it as I’ve expressed more, I know there’s more there too, but it’s made a huge difference in how I am in me right now and how alive and vital I feel in my body. And when you speak of going for it even when it might not work that is huge and one I have often fallen on, trying to hedge my bets and figure out what I can and how I can measure and it’s exhausting, so now I’m exploring going for it and allowing the consequences, quite a biggie for me.

710. Lieke, you describe holding back in such a simple and clear way “to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart”, thank you.

711. ‘This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful’ – who wouldn’t want this, to feel and be re-connected to al of you. Gorgeous blog bringing the truth of how it is.

712. Not living life as fully as who we are has a huge impact in our body, your list of ‘holding back ailments’ clearly shows this Lieke. We are our own medicine when we express and feel the expansion, rather than the contraction from holding back what we know in our bodies to be true.

713. Your blog Lieke certainly inspires me to not hold back. Not worth it when you consider all the consequences of holding back and how amazing your body feels when you stop holding back. The obvious choice is to not hold back…holding back sucks and is so last era!!

714. “The healing of holding back is in these small things, but also in expressing what I feel is true and not true in the world.” If it has to do with the world, imagine what we are stopping from happening, and imagine what we are fuelling in the world if we hold back from what is true and not true in the world…

715. Holding back is horrible in my body and not holding back is an absolute joyful buzz. There is a serious mystery here…why would you choose one over the other when the consequences are so obvious? It is so beautiful to pass on this lovely feeling. That feels important.

716. Gorgeous Lieke ! The clear signs that the body shows us when we hold back…not many would associate these pains with not living to our full potential. Thanks for sharing this one.

717. ” it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” That is so true Lieke, we have to risk being wrong and making mistakes, otherwise we never learn to feel the truth of our feelings, as when we have deceived ourselves and not discerned them truthfully, the body certainly tells us! All the symptoms you mention are very familiar, and they are markers for us to recognise and begin to clear the behaviours that came from choosing unlovingly. It is a beautiful cycle, the body tells us and if we get the message we start to heal the body.

718. Holding back can make me extremely hungry, so it seems. It is not real hunger. The moment I choose to express more of myself the feeling of the false hunger disappears without having eaten anything.

     1. I have never considered this Felix, but actually I can see how this plays out in me too.

719. It is amazing how holding back affects us in so many different ways both physically and emotionally and it is inspiring and amazing to feel the space, vitality and flow we have in life when we choose not to hold back.

720. Hello Lieke and I see Jane Torvaney has highlighted the same thing, “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” If we were to say that we don’t feel anything from our body then we can see the impact of different foods, movements, sayings etc on the body. In other words we feel everything all the time it’s just the awareness of the fact that we allow to be clouded so it appears different. Why do we get nervous, why is anxiety a modern plague? Could it be that something deeper is going on with our body that we are choosing not to be aware of? Start to reconnect with our body and how it feels and life will feel and look completely different.

721. ‘Holding Back’ is not something I had ever heard of before meeting Universal Medicine but then it is possible most of my choices came from holding back through my life. Now learning to be more of who I am by paying attention to my body makes it easier to not fall into the behaviours that keep me small. A key to this has been developing a connection to my body and acting on what it is showing me. The world can only benefit from us all expressing in our fullness.

722. I can totally relate to the not doing or doing the complete opposite – I have noticed a pattern of when i feel like my life is needing some attention i can become very busy all of a sudden helping everyone else. Or when time is needed to contemplate I can become super busy with baking, gardening, researching. It is not rocket science but it does take some practice to detach and observe ourselves, to deepen the responsibility.

723. I love what you have written Lieke. I too am so much more committed to life and am expressing the love, joy, power and truth within me so much more. Yet my body is telling me that there is far more untapped, especially the heaviness in my legs and my hips where I have been doggedly holding on with some beliefs about life. This article is a gorgeous inspiring reminder.

724. Love this Lieke – the tension comes when holding back, and the remedy is expression. How effortlessly simple this is and from experience I can say what an amazing difference this makes. When you hold back, it can turn into overthinking, anxiousness and not being present. This is an added pressure on the body that needs to be released in some way. But if we express, we don’t hold onto anything, we live in the moment, we are transparent. How healing is that.

725. Today I described holding back like a wooden stump of a house, if left too long it will begin to rot. This goes for people, when we miss the impulse to move on and evolve and remain in the comfort of our lives, it is only us rotting, no matter how much we justify. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go and not hold ourselves back.

726. When we hold back we hold the world back.

727. I love the idea of there being a ‘deeper level of lifestyle’ for it feels all encompassing of our whole life and not identifying with particular areas where we can sometimes go on a crusade in our approach and become totally distracted. I know this is where I have often gone to lose myself, when in truth when I look at my lifestyle as all encompassing I can feel the amazing responsibility of my decisions and choices.

728. “it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” How often have I held myself back with that one, giving up on doing something in case it wasn’t perfect; times too numerous to mention and it did nobody any good whatsoever, least of all myself. Thank you Lieke for such a wonderful blog, clearly exposing the trick that stops us from being all that we are here to be and for sharing so simply what supports us to break free of such imposition.

729. Thank you for exposing what really happens when we hold back Lieke. I have felt this on many occasions when there has been something to express and I have kept it in.

730. Hold back at your own peril, I am hearing you say. The signs are sometimes subtle but never not there. Thanks for delivering such an important message

731. Amazing Lieke. The nail you have hit the head of so well here must be the most commonly shared issue across the whole of humanity. Holding back these days is huge! And is a leading cause of many of our illnesses and ailments

732. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ I so agree Lieke! It was only when I started listening to my body and its many and constant messages, that I began to understand the effect holding back was having on my body.

733. Lieke I totally relate to this and how I too have held back most of my life also. Letting go of wanting to be perfect, caring what other people think and adhering to ideals and beliefs of what I should be doing has been the key to opening the door and giving myself permission to Be All of who I AM. This is still a working progress like yourself and has been deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine. Express my Truth feels incredible and it feels super empowering and is becoming my normal as well.

734. All your examples of not holding back are so practical Lieke, this has been a habit we have learnt and we can very easily stop once we start expressing again. I am learning how many situations and opportunities I used to let pass me by and I didn’t express and I feel there’s more depth to go to too on this journey for me. But that’s ok, it unfolds as we learn and practice more expression.

735. I am beginning to feel in my body the huge lead lump I literally swallow every time I do not express what is there to be shared. Holding back is a killer, and I am very grateful to my body for being able to feel how damaging it truly is.

736. When I hold back I feel a shrinking in my body, a tightness and contraction. When I fully express and don’t hold back, there is a natural lightness, expansion and joy felt in my body. Clocking the difference in what these two feel like helps me to to choose the latter.

737. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” I know this one really well Lieke and when you express it like this it sounds ludicrous, why would we want to hold back something that feels so joyful allowing our bodies to express what we are feeling. I can really feel the constraints on the body of being nice courteous and polite.

738. “The healing of holding back is in these small things, but also in expressing what I feel is true and not true in the world.” This is a big ask of ourselves, I know I often hold back from saying what is true and not true for fear of the reaction it might arouse. This is still a work in progress, however there is progress and I am finding it easier these days to express the truth gently and am finding to my surprise that it can be accepted the same way and consequently make big changes. Holding back never serves anyone.

739. There are many reasons why we hold back and one of mine has been my need for perfection. I realise now that this has been something I have created to not be all of who I am but simply observing this behaviour and knowing that there there is no such thing as perfection is supporting me enormously to let it go and express that which needs to be said even if it doesn’t come out in the way I want it to.

740. Lieke what you describe so beautiful about holding back feels like a disease most of us have. Hence your antidote description is a powerful medicine to heal not only yourself.

741. Holding back in its many manifestations is a veritable health hazard, thank you for describing it so minutely.

742. I have been holding back my whole life too Lieke, although much less so these days; certainly a work in progress. Thank you for highlighting the varying layers of holding back and its impact on our bodies; thus its impact on other people.

743. So often we hold back our expression, thinking it is not saying what we feel to say, but there is so much more to expression than just words. Our expression is not only all we say, do and think but also the quality that comes with our every word, movement and thought.

744. I just recently went on an expression weekend retreat with Chris James- I certainly could feel the tightness in the throat when holding back from speaking up, and the tension in the body when holding myself back from singing from my body.
     And then Chris mentioned that it takes each one of us to take responsibility for expressing fully in the group; if one of us holds back it affects the whole group.
     With that we all gave it our 100% in singing together and it was glorious and very power-full. I felt so expanded and free of tension in my body, and tears of joy flowed down my cheeks knowing that I had held back for too long. Time to reclaim me as a woman.

745. Holding back our expression literally holds our body in a constant state of tension that is totally unnatural, and hence we end up with dis-harmony within the body leading to dis-ease and eventually illness. Holding this tension is also exhausting on the body, a constant drain of energy… so no wonder stimulants such as sugar, coffee, salt and alcohol are in such high demand.

746. I can so relate to what you share here Lieke… and yet I often wonder why I (we) hold back from being joyful and loving – it is truly what we all crave and so what the world needs.

747. I have spent so much of my life holding back, and can totally relate to your sharing Lieke! The feeling of restriction is so detrimental to my body and I am aware of these feelings in my body and the way it reacts and shuts down . The more I listen to and observe the teachings of Serge Benhayon of The Way of The Livingness and see the changes in so many lives, the more I am freeing up to be in the livingness of this amazing way of being. Thank you Lieke.

748. After reading this blog the first time I felt impulsed to recommence stretching each day. Day one was today and this morning I was shocked at just how much tension I am holding in my body, painfully so, especially in my legs. A sure sign of digging my heels in for too long.

749. I am a forever student of my own Livingness and ‘holding back has an effect on my body’ and thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon my life has turned around for the better. Through ‘expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful’. This is a great importance to not holding back and staying connected to our divine essence, which is true love.

750. In not holding back I know I am supported all the way in my expression, especially if I don’t hold back for a result. This feels wonderful whenever I manage.

751. Holding back is holding our body back from the otherwise natural expression. In whatever way it is. I love how you’re relating how holding back has a restriction on the body. Where as you’re sharing Lieke, our body actually naturally expresses all that there is to express. To offset that we have to force ourselves. And of course that has its painful effects on the body. As well as the other way around that ‘bring’ a very freeing, spacious, light and joyful feeling. So not holding back is literally vitally important.

752. What an amazingly practical and healthy way to look at life, it really stands to reason that if we are holding back we are not going with the flow of the Universe, therefore that just can’t be good. You are so right many things make for healthy living, so much more than just doing the obvious.

753. Culture, religion and education teach us to hold back, to not express what we feel to express, but to follow what is dictated and never what truly lives inside of us.

754. ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’ This is such a killer, it makes us truly disconnected from our body, it inspires me Lieke to completely go for it, I love joy and I am learning to let it out in full, so let’s celebrate!

755. A reason I have validated ‘holding back” is exactly as you share – a fear it isn’t going to work out as expected. I’ve come to understand and appreciate that my body can’t tolerate a life accumulating fear based on perceived reactions from others. I’ll scare myself with thoughts just to cover off a possibility that something I say or do may not fit with or sit well with another. This is holding back. If I don’t open up to another how can I offer them an opportunity to respond. It’s pretty self-centric to consider not doing something based on another without ever consulting them on the topic. Wow when I type this I can feel that by holding back I make it all about me and I don’t even consider the other person, I just use my thoughts to twist things around to make it about me.

756. I can feel with what you share and discovering for my self the very simple truth and reality that “not holding back” is the only way forward. It seems silly to write such an obvious statement but it’s taking a bit to get to feel the practical truth of this statement and the consistent conscious choice to live it. There are many times I have caught myself pondering a situation that has become complicated and realised it is because I’m trying to get somewhere but have the hand brake on! This to me is holding back. Releasing the brake is a choice and I agree my body offers the signs you share when I’m holding back.

757. I feel it is important to nominate that a healthy lifestyle is not just what we eat or exercising. The Livingness is the much deeper, all inclusive version of lifestyle that treats us not just as physical beings that need to maintain their body’s function, but has consideration of all aspects of our being. That holding back the fullness of our pure expression as divine beings can cause physical harm, shows how important it is to care for our whole being as well as the body, as they are intimately connected.

758. I agree that expression is a key part of not holding back. This means saying and writing what I feel is true, according to my level of awareness. It may not always be right or the full story but there is something deeply honouring about expressing what you feel and giving that space to be. I also agree that expression is very much about the way I hold my body. I can catch myself shrinking a bit, letting my chin stick out or rolling my shoulders forward which all have an effect like kinking a hose, restricting the flow of what can be expressed through me.

759. If we are talking about holding back, we need to consider what it is we are holding back and the enormity of it. To cause so much tension and harm in our body, it must go against everything that is natural for us to be. At times when I don’t hold back I can feel the vastness of what I have been keeping a lid on. Ironically it feels so much more natural and easy to let this out than use so much energy to withhold.

     1. I agree Fiona and it is such a trick that we can think we are better off by holding back, that we are protecting ourselves and that we won’t get hurt when in actual fact it does way more harm to hold back then to put ourselves on the line and express.

760. This has been a theme for me for some time, so I really appreciate reading about your experience Lieke. I could relate to the symptoms you have described. In my body I can feel the wear of driving along with the handbrake on. I can feel I have an extraordinary quality and vibrancy that can come through me but I restrict and control what comes out.

761. There is so much that our bodies tell us about the way we are living. I love the messages (aches and pains) and unfolding my body shares which I now, more often than not, embrace and take note of rather than seeing them as problems which need fixing.

762. I am aware with greater clarity how holding back is completely exhausting. It’s is literally like living life with a rope around you, restricting and countering every forward move, so that the effort to go forward had to be doubled. Letting go, trusting the impulses and to act as they come feels very freeing.

763. Lieke I love that you mention the ‘healing of holding back is in these small things.’ It’s not an overwhelming task as one becomes more honest about how one lives! Recently, thanks to a friend who got me to appreciate further, a small thing that happened and in so doing I learnt I am aware and can choose to be loving.

     Briefly, I’d stopped the car to go for a gentle walk. I was feeling fragile and as I walked up a narrow rocky path I felt to turn around – unusual for me as I usually commit to getting further and seeing the view. As I sat in my car I saw a lot of dirt road bikes ride up the path and was so grateful I’d not been there with them noisily running past. I’d put this down to lucky escape. But what if I actually feel these things,that we can feel what’s in motion coming towards us and if we listen we are supported?

764. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ The difference I feel in my body from when I am expressing to when I am holding back is chalk and cheese which is not something most of us are aware of. We know precisely when things are true for us and we override them with our ideals and beliefs.

765. The messages of contemporary culture are constantly telling us to ‘put yourself out there’, to ‘make your mark’, to ‘push your limits’. Whereas what you’re presenting Lieke is what it truly means to ‘not hold back’ , which is to ‘follow through an impulse that is true and from our heart’. To not hold back is to deeply accept oneself exactly as we are and to allow ourselves to be seen and express in full from the deepest part of who we truly are. From this place, the need to compete or conquer or out-do another simply does not exist.

766. I love that you have exposed how the choices we make affect our life and particularly our health. No longer can we avoid the truth that the choices we make determine the life we are living and so not holding back is beautiful, fulfilling and well worth celebrating.

767. Lieke it has just dawned on me that the world that we have created has been made manifest out of our holding back. Pretty much everything that we can see, touch, feel and hear has been produced out of our holding back and that includes most moments of supposedly ‘going for it’!

768. I can feel when I am holding back, it feels like I am placing a restriction on my body, there is something there to express and I am suppressing it. It feels like it takes more effort to hold it in than let it out. This feels like constipated expression which can’t be good.

769. There is always a much bigger picture than we are commonly aware of – everything is energy first and foremost and everything is in universal order and rhythm. We hold back to keep ourselves living in a limited way of being by holding onto our individual picture rather than embracing in full, the call to respond to love and the equal-ness of brotherhood for all.

770. Lieke thank you for not holding back your light and expressing the truth about what physically happens when we do hold back. I can relate to all that you have written, however thanks to Serge Benhayon and family and Chris James I am choosing to shine and be the beautiful woman that I am.

771. When I read the list you have made on the effects on the body holding back, it exposes what we put the body through when we don’t take responsibility for looking after ourselves by simply expressing. This is great understanding LIeke, where can you publicise this to a wider audience?

772. “You may think that our lifestyle is just what we eat, how much we exercise and whether we smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs, but I have come to understand that there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.” This opening paragraph alone should be on the front pages of newspapers as we know life style is the cause of 80% of diseases world wide. That is a fact so bringing in the fact that lifestyle is more than food and drink but how we actually choose to live and express is a really important ingredient to assess our illness and be able to heal.

773. The not holding back joy, this is something I now am more comfortable in sharing, when asked how am I, I will most often be honest if I feel great they get that in full and if I am feeling not well or tired I say that too. So often we just don’t express where we are at to not want to cause a reaction in the other person. Crazy and no wonder we are all so exhausted all this not just being yourself requires a lot of effort.

774. It is everywhere in most people a plague of holding back, not expressing not trusting you are worthy of expressing. It is awesome to expose it how you have Leike.

775. I am still amazed by how much my body can change to feeling lighter, like Lieke says, when I express something that I have been holding back from saying. It is like we store unsaid feelings in our bodies, filling up our cells with thoughts and feelings that we are not made to store. So it makes sense that expressing what we feel is going to release tension and make us feel much better, improving our health and wellbeing and reducing our risk of upsetting our balance of health.

776. This is so true. My body also shows me in many ways when I am holding back. I love the feeling of freedom in your words when you describe how it is for you when you do not hold back. This is how we could feel in our bodies all the time if we allowed ourselves to follow our impulses and express what needs to be said.

777. Thank you Lieke – this is precisely what we all do – hold back on expressing our truth for fear of rejection. When we feel the inspiration within there is a knowingness that it is true and we need to act on the impulse and not dull down what we are feeling with doubt and self judgement. What you describe is so clear for us to feel in our body – and yet we choose to over ride these feelings and often only change when we are offered stop moments. When we honour our body we can feel the amazing expansion and flow both within our body and in our relationships as a whole.

778. If we just start with one thing like ‘I am beautiful and I know it and I do not hold back with this’ – that alone is such a revolution…for ourselves and for the society. So this will have an effect on me and my body but also to OUR body as a group of people.

779. Lieke I love the possibilities that you share on how life is like when you don’t hold back, it makes one wonder why we ever hold back in the first place. especially when we compare the list of what holding back is like – something that we are all very aware of. Great expose.

780. Thank you Lieke, this one is one I’m playing with at the moment – to not have a picture of what it will be like, but go for it anyway and see what happens! “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” It really takes the pressure off and allows expression rather than outcome.

781. On reflecting, holding back has been the primary cause for the exhaustion in my body I have experienced for most of my life. I am expressing a lot more these days and feel much more confident within myself when I do. This is having an enormous impact on my energy where I feel a lot more energised in my day.

782. Lieke, I sometimes feel how I am holding back, letting others in and instead I am reacting. To understand more deeply what is truly going on within us and within our society is so supportive to take different choices, to be open and transparent for everybody to see the truth.

783. The desire to eat when I do not really need to is another symptom of holding back for me. There is a feeling that is like hunger that is not really hunger – and can’t be because I have eaten well – but is a ‘hunger’ of another sort. It is a hunger for being more of who I am and for ‘not holding back’. The interesting reflection from my body is that when I ‘listen’ to my body and I do express without holding back, there is no feeling of hunger but quite the opposite. There is no need to eat anything because I already feel full in myself.

784. And not holding back is sometimes to also say no when it is not honouring us and our body.

785. This is lovely Lieke, thank you. I know for sure that my body gives me totally honest feedback about how I am living and how I am expressing and have no doubt that what you write here is true. We are here to express the love that we are – and whether we do or do not allow this expression to take place – our bodies reflect the fact.

786. When speaking the truth and not holding back it is never a right or wrong time, just times when the other person is not ready for them to hear and feel the truth.

787. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” It is quite amazing that we can actually resist what our entire body is telling us to do, but it is quite exhausting in the process. The big question is why? Why on earth do we fight our bodies, when in fact they are our truest friend and most intimate partner? The most fundamental relationship in our lives begins with us and our bodies and when we begin to truly honour this immutable fact, our health, vitality and joy simply flourishes.

788. Lieke your amazing blog was definitely not a holding back! It was a great joy to read how you have changed your life – thank you so much for being so inspiring.

789. It is incredible the damage that holding back does to our body and our being. I am discovering this too! The more I express and I am not holding back the more energy I have and have much more of a lightness of being.

790. An example of the effects of holding back comes to mind. During her early years my daughter attended a Steiner primary school and part of their teaching philosophy was to hold the children back from learning to read until they are 7. To cut a long story short, when we changed her over into a public school her natural love of reading exploded – she became a chronic reader – she would often get into trouble for reading books held under her desk during class, she would read anywhere and everywhere – on the bus, on the toilet, in the bath, etc.

791. We tend to put our blinkers on to avoid seeing the reality that holding back of any sort has an effect and it is only a question of time before it takes its toll.

792. You could say we have an intolerance to living in a way that is not in accordance with our body. If we stop eating a diet that doesn’t agree with us, our symptoms go away. Likewise if we stop living in a way that doesn’t agree with us, we clear the many conditions that are a result of the intolerance, even if we have accepted them as normal part of life.

793. It is so healthy and rewarding for our bodies to not hold back and follow your impulses. Feelings of lightness, flow, steadiness and space emerge when not holding back and expressing in full.

794. I love this one: “It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.” For me this also means walking my light and not holding back in the way I move.

795. It makes complete sense that when you hold back energetically what is there to be expressed that this assault on the body would result in a physical manifestation of that choice. Although unpleasant it is deeply supportive to see the harm of holding back like this so that we can choose differently and in line with what the body knows is true.

796. I can feel holding back with pain in my neck and as soon as I have expressed what I actually wanted or needed to say the pain goes.

797. Hello Lieke and I agree ‘holding back’ can look many different ways. At time we associate this with only saying something or not saying something when in fact and as you point out it could simply be a movement, a smile, a gesture, an email, the way you drive and the list goes on. We feel everything all the time and how we respond to those feelings is either honouring what we feel or holding back what we feel.

798. No holding back in your blog, Lieke, flow and expression is what is felt. Thank you for sharing.

799. Make no mistake what we hold back is love.

800. Lieke such an important topic that you have raised. You are so right when you say that holding back is as detrimental to our health as smoking. What you have documented here, will one day be documented in medical journals as a well known fact about our health. It will be researched, studied and thoroughly understood but until then, it is imperative that people like you Lieke initiate invaluable conversations from the lived wisdom of their bodies.

801. It feels like not holding back is about recognising all of those little moments in the day where I can bring myself in full expression. It is all too easy to override them as not important and let them slide, saying yes to the consciousness of numbness. Every moment counts, just like I do. If I write off moments of the day, I equally write off myself which denies the very truth of who I am.

802. I can certainly relate to the effects in your body of holding back:
     – coldness and ache in my lower back
     – a feeling of dullness generally and fatigue
     – seeking food to numb me from feeling the fact that I am holding back
     – and tension in my whole body when I wake in the morning.

     When I choose to walk in my absoluteness, there is a lightness and clarity that feels delicate and divine. It’s so great writing it down like this because then it is so clear what I will be choosing today, instead of not choosing, which automatically allows the former to sneak its way back in.

803. Thank you for starting the conversation on holding back Lieke.
     I am equally exploring this topic at the moment and I experience it as holding back from living the absoluteness of the truth that I know and feel in my body. I allow a whole range of thoughts that somehow justify this. I can feel that this range of thoughts actually belongs to a larger construct that I have at some point said yes to and despite how convincing all these thoughts are, I am choosing to be aware of this over-arching consciousness and say no to it, choosing to step forth with the knowing of my love.

804. Lieke by not holding back, there is an incredible flow that can be felt coming right through you. Simply glorious.

805. Thank you Lieke for not holding back.
     Not holding back can totally change every detail in your life. From the way you speak, move, interact with others and the list goes on.
     When I don’t hold back my body feels light and expanded.

806. Thanks Lieke, I love that you have identified the smaller, seemingly insignificant things that can become a barrier to expression. I certainly notice how on their own they seem like nothing, but they add up over time (sometimes it doesn’t take that long) to the point you can begin to react to the lack of expression! Which means the point of what needed to be expressed is lost.

     1. And if we don’t express in that moment the natural flow and impulse is gone, and what follows next feels more like a pushing of communication, which is actually a disconnection, and something coming from the mind.

     2. Yes and then we feel weird and can’t recall why that happened, go in-depth with wondering what is going on…Yet it can go back to just a little thing not expressed!

807. Lieke your blog is so timely and everything you say resonates with me. Just this week I developed a pain from my neck down to my shoulder blade, restricting what I was able to do for a few days. It created a “stop” moment for me to feel what it was really about, and today it was beautifully confirmed to me that it was indeed about holding back and resisting what my body has been feeling to do for a while – which is to share this awareness and incredible joy I know feel in my life, with everyone I meet.

808. I’ve found that consciously letting go of the images and pictures of how I think things should be, helps me to feel more connected with my body and supports my expression to flow more naturally.

809. “This all is a work in progress, but for sure my way forward.” Thank you for writing and sharing this Lieke – what you’ve written inspires me for the way forward also.

810. ‘This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful.’ Who does not want a body that feels like this?!

811. Oh my goodness Lieke, I feel as if I could write a whole book about holding back. And it is so true what you’ve shared, that “it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all”.

812. I think I suffer from nearly every symptom on that list Lieke. That’s scary! very scary indeed. To think we are getting away with appearing to be ‘good’ – when this list clearly states otherwise. At what cost are we willing to continue keeping our truth under lock and key?

813. The idea that being healthy is eating and exercising is such old news. We can’t get away with that anymore, and we only need to take a quick look around us to see that being an elite athlete on a paleo diet does not stop disease and illness. So perhaps there is more to it? Perhaps the whole picture is worth looking at?

814. I can so relate to all that you’ve shared Lieke. One of the common symptoms I notice when I’m holding back is exhaustion. And it’s funny that we think we get exhausted because we’re doing too much, but the truth is that we get exhausted because we’re holding back from expressing who we truly are, as pointed out by Natalie Benhayon at a recent presentation.

815. I too have experienced that holding back just makes me ill. I have to be honest and say that regardless of knowing this, I still hold back almost every day, but I’m holding back less and less, which means I’m slowly building up the other side of the scale – expression. It really is a huge work in progress.

816. Lieke, your list of effects on the body that are a result of holding back is a great example of something that Serge Benhayon has shared many times over the past few years. If we live a life holding back on being who we truly are and not expressing what needs to be expressed, it can result in serious illness for the body. I found recently when I expressed lovingly and truthfully how I felt about a situation of tension within the family, it was met with much surprise and consideration and from then on the whole situation of tension dissipated, making for a much more loving relationship. This had quite a freeing effect on my body with an improved digestive system as a bonus.

817. “It is in not holding back from saying something, even if it might not be what others think. Not holding back even when it challenges the status quo.” This is one item in your great list that I have had a problem with for most of my life, and am at the moment in the process of working on it. I can see just how much it is holding me back from expressing myself as the true woman that I am. I have had a few experiences lately where I have expressed what I feel, with no attachment to how the other may react. It feels so freeing in my body to express, so long as it has been done lovingly, it is so necessary to speak the truth, or how otherwise do others learn if they are not made aware of the truth of situations. Yes, in some cases they have reacted negatively, but the opportunity is there for them to reflect on things over time and maybe see the truth for themselves.

818. Thank you Leike, for a great blog one that I can relate to very well, holding back for me was to keep safe, not to create upset. When I do hold back I can feel it in my body, and my mind can go into the ‘should’, it feels like a lost opportunity. I am opening up more to expressing me now and when I do, it feels so freeing and joyful, expressing me.

819. I have been a promoter of holding back most definitely. I have spent most of my life encouraging it as the way to be because I had chosen it as my way, so anyone who would like to hold back too, would have my reflection to confirm that choice in them. This is a deep responsibility that we all have, and I reckon that sometimes it is worth making a considered choice, rather than just following the accepted path.

820. Holding back is as much a body posture as it is a way of expression in words and deeds and thoughts. Holding back is a way of breathing. Holding back is basically what we learn in our educational systems.

821. Love this blog Lieke, holding back is a big one and shows up in every area of our lives, and can be quite debilitating to the point where actually speaking up can become traumatic and cause great anxiety. This has been a big one for me and I still have to practice but it’s well worth the effort as everything then becomes easier, and actually enjoyable.

822. Lieke I can relate to your blog…holding back is a choice of living which I too have made often because I haven’t wanted to create waves or upset anyone… yet, I have to live with the side effects of this in my own body similar to the ones you describe. I can feel how disregarding this is to myself and to others who may actually need to hear what I have to express.

823. Beautiful to read your antidote to holding back, thank you Lieke!

824. I have often, (if not always but just not realised that it has been there for always) had this inner knowing, that is so absolute, and when I follow it things just work out amazingly, on time, getting me to the right place to meet the right person, to wonder why I am there and then bam! it all makes sense…. but… a lot of the times, I don’t follow that inner sense, that inner knowing and I get caught up in ideals and beliefs, or make choices based on past hurts rather than feeling and knowing what feels right for today, for this moment, feeling it from a fresh perspective. When I don’t listen to my body and that inner knowing, I am holding back. I am resisting me and my soul that is able to impulse me to where I need to be.

825. Your description of what holding back does is accurate, and I can confirm, having been a master of this activity, that these are the symptoms. Headaches were my big thing, these I know were due to the frustration that arose in me as a result of not listening to the regular impulses I received to break out of my comfort zone and truly live.
     I love how this lovely blog culminates in a celebration of the body and the being who lives inside it when there is no holding back.The whole world wins.

826. I love this blog Lieke and how you explain what holding back means. You have covered it well that is for sure. I can so relate to all that you have written. The only other thing I can think of that I notice when I hold back is that my calves get heavy and stiff so I can feel that when I stretch or when I walk, and my legs can feel really heavy. The other one is my throat, if there is something to express and I don’t, it at times feels like I have something stuck in my throat and its not comfortable, or I get this tightness across my chest and yet when I just open up and share, without having any expectations or investments on how others react and or respond, my body feels so different. The tightness or tension that was once there immediately melts away and there is a sense of spaciousness again. It is so interesting when we connect and feel our bodies and notice the changes that happen when we do or don’t do certain things.

827. Lieke, i love what you shared about not holding back but not having to have everything turn out perfectly. Often we use perfection as a marker of success when in fact it is an image we have of what something should be like but we can never measure up to this and will always fall short. When we feel this “failure” we hold back even more. When things are less than perfect there is so much learning for us and it can be a gorgeous unfolding but in perfection we are seeking a stop so we do not have to unfold any further.

828. Thank you Lieke. So holding back is basically the cause of any irregularity in our rhythm that we then try to fix by working on our rhythm. But what you show so beautifully is that it is not about working on the outer crust but turning to the inner and allow us to express from there which naturally will lead us to the rhythm that is true for us.

829. Holding back robs not only ourselves from experiencing the flow of life, but it robs others of knowing another way to be. Stopping the flow of expression is like placing a rock in a flowing stream. Enough rocks pile up and we no longer feel the flow as much as we could.

830. This is simply awesome, Lieke. You have nailed the fact that even in those little things that come into our heads which we say, ‘nah, I won’t say/do/be that’ and think it does not matter, actually has a huge impact on our body.

831. I lived life as I never hold back, always expressing, always saying what I wanted to say, always showing that I am beautiful and have an amazing life, etc. but it was not until I met Serge Benhayon that I realized how much I was really holding back and not living my life in full, as I was denying myself being an equal Son of God. To choose not to know and therefore not to live the fact that we are all equal Sons of God is the biggest holding back ever and one of the main reasons of our retardation as human beings.

832. This is a great blog Lieke, showing us how any ailment in our body can be related to the way we live, how we express in life and the relationship we have with ourselves.

833. Learning to not hold back has been one of the most significant learning for me these past few years. My ability to express myself truly and mostly lovingly and say what I feel has transformed the quality of my relationships with myself and brought me closer to others, especially family members.

834. Lieke, thank you for showing that for every action (or in-action) there’s a consequence physically, one that harms, if we fail to express a truth, or heals when we do. More-Over expressing truthfully something felt in the body, not only supports us by releasing the tension or upset, but also the other person who may not be aware of the impact of their behaviour or dismissiveness on another.

835. This morning i was having a conversation with someone and noticed that my arms were crossed and I was feeling tense, it was really simple to ask “Ok why am i holding back here?” Once asked it was really clear what the answer was. Thanks for your blog.

836. Holding back is a disease in itself, not a medically diagnosed one (yet), but it will one day be recognised as such. It is like driving your car with the hand-brake permanently on, and it makes for quite a difficult journey.

837. Not holding back is wonderfully expressed by Lieke, and it is something that can truly lift our lives out of the morass and into a totally different world…. And it is always a choice.

838. I love your clear examples of what holding back is and how it feels in the body. It’s an awesome guide for anyone who may be looking for a way forward with some physical conditions in the body and who may not have considered just how much holding back has an effect on the body. I also love how you share how you have turned this around. A hugely supportive blog Lieke.

839. Holding back from expressing what feels true to us is a health hazard and eventually results in illness and disease.

840. Love your blog Lieke your sharing is very inspiring for many people to read .
     I really got to feel what holding back played a big part in my life and the choices that I made was taking a toll on my body. And now taking responsibility and not holding back has created space within my body.

841. This blog does a wonderful job of exposing the many effects that holding back has on the body, it also shows how healing it is to simply express what we are given to express. True expression = the best medicine.

842. Beautiful Lieke. Holding back is painful and harmful. Not only does it hurt physically but emotionally too because we are not honouring ourselves and it is upsetting to do that – even though often we bury this feeling. Not only is it harmful to ourselves but others too because they miss out on all that we can bring.

843. Absolutely well said Lieke, this light that comes through us, is for all of us and to hold it back it a great dampener on oneself and others. Sometimes it’s better to take the leap, not knowing what it will look like but knowing full well the quality of energy is true in our body, and magnifies through all around us to mark an expression of the divine.

844. Lieke, this is such good timing to read your blog, and your initial description of holding back..’ to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite’ is absolutely true. It is felt throughout the body, no wonder it complains with pain and discomfort to make us see when we do hold back.

     1. Gill it is indeed no wonder that the body feels like its taken a bit of a battering when we hold back, it’s like it has been used to stop a ten tonne truck! The ten tonne truck is carrying love and we’re the ones who stop it from tipping its load and then turn it around and send it back!

845. The freedom joy and celebration of not holding back in your body feels amazing and very inspiring Lieke. A true marker of how we are responsible for all that happens to us and a real inspiration to not hold back and express our all. It will be amazing as we start to all learn this and bring our children up like this also as humanity. The power of our movement is vast as we are too if we don’t hold back and something I am seeing more and more each day by reflection and inspiration.

846. I love the antidotes you have shared especially the one about it being more honouring to express and mess it up rather than not express at all. So very true. This has to do with letting go of being perfect or getting things right and the relationship we have with ourselves that can be harsh and overly critical.

847. I am beginning to feel the crippling effect that holding back has on my body and looking at your list, I relate to experiencing many of them. I can certainly testify to feeling lighter when I allow myself to be seen and express without reservation.

848. After eating dinner this blog offers a fantastic reflection to the responsibility we hold with our body every moment.

849. This is such an apt blog for me to be reading right now Lieke. Only yesterday I was talking with a friend about how I hold back from expressing and that even though I like to fly under the radar for so many reasons, it also hurts a lot and does not really benefit anyone, least of all me.

850. Thank you for expressing this Lieke – I am currently in a situation which I realised last night that my own feelings were being caused by not having expressed myself fully to others in it. Your blog is a beautiful confirmation of this and also further inspiration to address my own holding back.

851. I love how you point out so clearly that the way we choose to live, our lifestyle, directly relates to our health. It is a commonly held belief, on the one hand, that illness and disease is something that happens randomly and it is simply ‘bad luck’ and, on the other hand, when we don’t get sick, it is simply ‘good luck’.

852. Awesome blog Lieke and something we can all take lots from. Holding back from who we are and what we bring is huge. I know I have mastered it! The fun but challenging part is learning and realising that it is important we do not hold back as we are needed to be shining all of who we are. If we hold back nothing changes and everything stays the same, or gets worse. The more we see the difference we make by not holding back the more responsibility we see we carry.

853. Your blog so simply and beautifully confirms everything that Serge Benhayon has been teaching us about the effects of holding back on our bodies – if we continually hold back it is only a question of time before it will develop into an illness or disease. The good news is there is an antidote to holding back – we simply need to make the choice to express in full .

854. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” – I think many of us can relate to this at times Lieke…the ‘what will that person/people think of me’ … well just maybe it will inspire them to live freely from the impulses of their own inner heart. Note to self…no holding back!

855. It takes a whole lot of energy to not go with what our body is telling us – not going with the flow, quite literally. I always go to nature when I think of something like this because nature does flow – rivers flow, ocean have a rhythm, leaves fall from trees and there is no holding back in any of this in nature. It just is.

856. The effects on the body of holding back are (as you have outlined Lieke) huge. I have found that I have held back in the past in order to fit in with those around me, however on the occasions I expressed what felt true for me I was surprised how many others felt the same but weren’t prepared to express it.

857. Holding back in any way takes the sparkle out of our lives, our hearts and our eyes.

     1. Great sparkly description Elaine, that says it all when we don’t live to our full potential.

858. I can totally relate to this and I find that coming back to the body is the only antidote as you’ve explained on here Lieke. With the support of Esoteric Yoga and developing an awareness of my body, sometimes it’s the simple things like letting go of my toes from being scrunched or relaxing my shoulders, opening up my chest, adjusting how I sit from slumped to straight. All these little movements are hugely powerful. The opposite of which is to go into my head, think about other situations I am not involved in, or play the ‘I don’t know what you’re saying’ to my body game only perpetuates all those ill conditions. And like you shared with the constipation one, I found that if I am trying and forcing myself to let go I hold on more, the body is not a toothpaste tube and constricting it doesn’t work, sitting upright with an open heart allows for flow.

859. This is a great blog Lieke, thank you for sharing. Your list of symptoms is very eye-opening, and I totally agree that holding back or choosing not to express, to take on other people’s issues or to disregard our feelings has direct health effects, and I can relate to a number of those you have listed. Illness, disease and all the symptoms/problems you’ve listed are on the rise, and as you’ve shared these could be much to do with the way in which we live, move, express and look after ourselves as well as having physical/temporal causes.

860. Holding back is not expressing in full – not being connected to all that is around even while we sit at the keyboard writing. It can be very subtle but the impact is strong.

861. It seems to me ‘holding back’ is the lifestyle of nearly all humans of this planet. With that we hold back the evolvement of us all. The lack of lived responsibility here results a lot of pain, be it in my body, my relationships or thoughts & moods.
     The beauty of responsibility is: we count. There is something for us to be expressed. Our true expression is needed. We are so powerful – If we hold back this power we not just damage ourselves but all of us.

862. Lieke a brilliant blog and great point about what holding back is really about, the fact that this is one of the lifestyle choices we are making that is making us sick. It’s time to focus on everything about the way we are living instead of either looking for the quick fix or focusing on considering lifestyle choices to be just the food we eat and the way we exercise. We all have a lot to learn – but what’s clear is that our body already knows the answers.

863. The world needs to see joy, love, responsibility and commitment, we need to see reflections of what we all are in truth… as without it we just get confirmed in the creation we are in.

864. Thank you Lieke I love what you have shared plus I also need to take so much of what you have shared back to myself and put it into practice at a much deeper level . .

865. “This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful” This is so true Lieke, why would we ever want to hold back when we can feel this vitality and joy? Holding back is like an imprisonment for the body, we are designed to express, naturally so, and any constraints we put on ourselves affects the body far more than we realise, as your blog so lovingly exposes.

866. “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite. Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.” This is profound. We then use a force to counter-act what feels natural, because of – in my case – a fear of rejection or what people might think! Time to get over this one and stop playing ‘nice’.

867. Holding back from expressing who we truly are is a world wide plague. No one is taught to express from their innermost…..holding back has certainly been my biggest issue throughout my life and your blog is one I can relate to 100% Lieke. If it were not for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and his presentations on what it means to hold back, I know that I would still have severe back pain in my lower and upper back. My posture and body structure had been getting progressively worse and and this has been reversed, and my scoliosis is far less pronounced and has almost disappeared. The interesting thing is if I start to hold back, this begins to return, showing that it is far more than just a physical issue.

868. Such a practical article on how we live our life is our best medicine, expressed with love. A joy to read.

869. What a lovely blog Lieke. As I reflect on the list of changes to your health you have observed I realised this is true for me too. I do not get lower back pain anymore, something that plagued me for decades previously. The more willing I am to express, the lighter I feel and the yukkier it feels by comparison when I hold back. Like you, it’s a work in progress, but thank you for this blog which has inspired me to pause and appreciate the changes that have already taken place in my life as a result of expressing more.

870. Your list of our reactions to holding back should be a wake-up call to everyone. The list of benefits from not holding back is a simple no-brainer for choices. Yes, it is that simple to just stop fighting the body, it has always known, we have just stopped listening.

871. Holding back and not expressing what is there for me to express does more harm to my body than what I had been willing to admit. I find that when I hold back little things they tend to build up until I end up reacting to something that is not related. I then can track it back to feeling frustrated for not expressing what had been there to express in the moment. Thank you for shining a light on this Lieke.

872. A great insight Lieke. All that education to be ‘nice’, ‘polite’, ‘don’t cause offence’, ‘change the subject’, ‘sweep it under the carpet’, ‘don’t show off’ can have a persistent physical effect on our body. Learning to unlearn these restrictions on expressing what we know is truth is very liberating, like a young child who just says what is there to be said without any concern for what others may think of them.

873. Thank you for this beautiful and powerful blog Lieke. After reading there is for me not any reason anymore for holding back. Why should I choose for a lesser life in a lesser body while choosing and honouring who I truly am delivers me all that I ever wanted in my life? Expressing that what lives in me is key to a joyful life in a joyful body and I know what to choose for.

874. What a timely reminder for me reading this Lieke as the last few days I’ve had some back pain / discomfort and have the exact lower back pain you described when lying down to go to bed. I’ve also noticed I haven’t felt as clear in my conversations and written communication. So the question here for me today is… What is it I’ve been truly feeling and holding back from expressing that I’m trying to avoid, which I have done by not taking proper care of myself (i.e. not exercising or moving throughout the day), feeling stressed and pushing through tasks, and over-eating (when I don’t feel hungry!)….? Food for thought today!

875. Hi Lieke, I was again pondering on the blog and I detected within myself that I sometimes go into a certain way of competition and be it the competition within myself against a form of giving up, and this competiton causes a lot of pressure, expectation and tension in my body, but I realized now that this subtle competiton is nothing else than an overriding of my impulses and such an holding back.

876. lt is incredible how the simple act of holding back can have such an impact on the body and on a person’s quality of life.

877. It feels awful to say no to our body’s impulses, I know this very well but thankfully I also know what it feels like to say yes to my body’s impulses and go for it. I’ve been playing with this more and more lately. Just yesterday a co-worker smiled at me and in that instant I felt such a warmth and beauty in her, just like looking at the sun… so I told her. In the past I would have kept that to myself… which in truth I’m realising it’s not just for ourselves, it is usually for the other person to hear. She then had an opportunity to share why she was feeling that way and the connections she felt with everyone around her because of it. It was very confirming to always – even if as you say Lieke, it may not always be received well – express and not hold back. Awesome blog Lieke thank you!

878. Who are we to hold back a light that is divine nor ours to own and keep sheltered from the world? The pain caused from holding back can seem so extreme and insurmountable at times that we forget the remedy is very, very simple – live the love that you are and nothing less. Truly beautiful Lieke, thankyou.

879. “Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.”

     This is the perfect definition of a serious condition that ails the majority of humanity. By holding back what is true, we unwittingly invite into the body a whole manner of behaviours, beliefs and thoughts that will in time present as physical illness and disease. By not living true to who we are, we start to live who we are not and then begin to identify with this imposter.

880. Love it Lieke beautiful, clear and so supportive to read. Showing without question that every choice we make has an impact and an effect on the quality of the life we lead.

881. In a funny way holding back is not really holding back from expressing but certainly a holding back from expressing the fullness of the love and truth we are. For in holding back we are actually expressing – we are working hard on making ourselves less which is why it is so exhausting.

882. Wow Lieke that was an interesting read because I sometimes get the lower back pain and anxiousness you described so it got me questioning: Am I holding back? What came was YES – even though by many standards I am a super awesome example of someone who does not hold back, I actually do to a degree. This is wonderful because it shows just how much more there always is to express and live, even when we feel things are already overflowing – let alone when we know we are holding back!

883. When we meet someone who walks, lives and breathes the fullness of who they are without question, knowing deeply that it is who we all are in essence, we cannot help but feel inspired to connect to the same quality within ourselves. We all have to power to live this way as this is our natural way. How can this Soulful reflection, this blessing be held back from the world, as to me there is no greater gift, no greater joy to be or be touched by. I agree – ‘This all is a work in progress, but for sure my way forward.’ – as living our glory together is what awaits us all.

884. Lieke this is a great blog that supports everyone and anyone to make a truly healthy lifestyle choice! That supports us all to choose ‘to be ourselves’ without compromise or apology and allow whatever learning and unfolding happens from here. When we think about what we are holding back and it is exposed to us that it is just our amazingness that we hold, it sounds quite ridiculous really! Here is to more of the gorgeousness and healing that comes from a way of living that is true and honouring of who we are and allowing everyone to be inspired to live their truth too.

885. I love the antidotes you have presented here. Every single one offers us all the way we can truly claim who we are, why we are here and live it without hesitation. Very powerful, very inspiring. Thank you Lieke.

886. I can very much relate to this holding back and the consequential effect on the body. When at a retreat I attended earlier this year, Serge Benhayon presented how our body was a vehicle through which energy expressed as he did many many times before, it just made so much sense to me how holding back was so detrimental to our well-being. We don’t even own what comes out of our mouth or our movement, we are only responsible for building and maintaining a body that truth energy can come through and be expressed, and energy is never static, even in stillness, it keeps vibrating – there forever is movement. So for us to get in the way of that movement in any way, would work against us as an individual and the part of a bigger whole and the whole.

887. The effects on my body from holding myself back expressing who I am is huge. I find this also affects others around me too whenever I choose to hold back, because my mood changes and I am also more likely to express in a harsh, abrupt or hurtful way. By choosing to simply not hold back, my expression flows allowing love, joy and truth be expressed instead of suppressing it, causing more harm to myself and others. So, why would I choose to hold back? Crazy, but I have also been holding myself back most of my life but now, I too am learning to let this disempowering way of living go, without perfection but with more consistency to expressing truth and love.

888. Yes holding back does have an effect on our bodies, big time. The more I listen to and am honest with how my body feels the more I can read where I am holding back and why. I now realise that there really is no escaping the effects that holding back has on us all. Our relationship with our bodies is invaluable as it reflects to us when we are and are not living in accordance with the natural impulse of our Soul.

889. Awesomely depicted, Lieke…and so timely as I’m experiencing all of these symptoms in some measure, knowing full well I am delaying and holding back from living what I know I can be. It’s like a downward, self-perpetuating cycle if we allow these symptoms to go on for too long, rather than seeing them as the blessing and warning lights they are, they become the excuse for not being and expressing all that you could. Holding back can then become an ingrained habit that will over time eventuate as an illness or disease that may not be so simple to shift. Thank you for listing so coherently the effects of holding back and also for expressing with the joy of living the true freedom of simply expressing you.

890. Thank you Lieke for really explaining Holding Back as the disease it is. There are so many diseases just like ‘holding back’ that we do not name, yet experience well before something more life threatening, or commonly known, for example, cancer or diabetes etc. Our awareness of the dis-ease in our bodies to the subtlest levels can support us in making changes and addressing the real issue, just like you have done here.

891. Such an awesomely clear presentation of what happens to our body when we hold back, and then in total contrast, what happens when we don’t. You have made it so simple Lieke. It’s amazing when we let go of the complications in our lives by no longer holding back, how our body responds in many wondrous and healing ways.

892. A truly inspiring posting, Lieke, and I can so relate to so many of those symptoms you speak of. Holding back is like a disease that almost the whole population of the world is smitten with. I love this “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.” We can feel we don’t want to stand out from the crowd too much, so much fear around that, when to show that joyfulness could be so healing for so many people out there in the world who need to see that there is another whole way of living their lives. We, all of us who understand this, need to just go for it, live that joy that we can feel so often in our lives, and live from that point for as much of our lives as we can. There is no time to waste, so much is changing in the world, much of it for the worse. People need to know there is another WAY.

893. Not holding back is first and foremost medicine for ourselves. It is when lived, medicine also for the world. What we are healing is the connection with our hearts and the simple expression of this connection, the lack of connection is the root cause of all illness and disease.

894. Lieke, I love how you have explained what holding back is: “Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.”. This really helps us understand how we can bottle things up in our body and they can then lead to actual physical ailments such as back pain etc. Thank you for the sharing!

895. There is so much conditioning in society to be polite, be good and do what is “right”. At school is it super challenging to get by without fitting into the box society provides for you. Why are we conditioned in this way? Do we prioritise our comfort and still waters over truth?

896. There are so many ways to hold back, many of which involve not letting people in and sharing the beauty that we naturally are. This form of hiding in reality hurts our bodies, for we must harden up or close over our shoulders or cast our eyes down.

897. Your blog Lieke was a little challenging for me to stomach. On reading the title I turned away knowing what was coming. You speak truth with no fan fare, just how it is. I have many of the symptoms you described. On reading this I realised I’ve been kidding myself as to what the cause is. I hold back much less than I used to but by telling myself exactly that and not taking it to the next level I am holding back and my body suffers because of it. Beautiful blog.

898. There is an amazing freedom, lightness and ease felt in the body when we let ourselves be ourselves and don’t hold back our loving expression.

899. There is great wisdom in our bodies if only we listen and respond. It makes sense that if we hold back and don’t move or express what has been already felt that is needed, that we experience things like constipation. I also can feel how that it all starts with accepting what is happening in life and feeling it all without absorbing it.

900. “I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.” We are all here to express the love that we come from. Holding this back in our body creates ill health. Our body supports us to come back to our natural way of being.

901. Hi Lieke – the list of symptoms are so familiar to me and as I have started to not hold back some of the have dropped away which is so confirming. I loved your comment – ‘ ….it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all’ – making the choice to ‘not hold back’ and live this way in my life has been full of clumsy sharings and far from perfect, but the change in my relationships with others and with myself has been beautiful. Not holding back has exposed old patterns of being nice, wanting others to like me, being afraid of being rejected and fear of hurting someone’s feelings – all old beliefs and ideals that no longer serve myself or any other. We all have so much to offer, maybe it is time to live a different way, because holding back is definitely not working.

902. I love what you have shared here ‘is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.’ I have just attended The Livingness 1 workshop held by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. It was an amazing day and we discussed things similar to what you are sharing here in how we use certain things like food, keeping busy or alcohol to not feel all of us … so in turn holding back from being all that we are; and how when we drop our guard and let people in all we want to do is love 💕

903. Absolutely amazing blog Lieke. Reveals the fact the there may be a whole lot more to life that we can choose to live than just merely getting through and ticking all the boxes so to speak. There a quality to our way of living that we are putting ourselves into dis-ease over by choosing to hold back how we naturally feel to be.

904. Holding back’ for me means holding in and there is only so much that can be held in before it makes its own way out in order to be looked at. The choice to not hold back and to express is about being clear of what is true and then sharing this when it is clear and true without any attachment or agenda. When I have been the receiver of another not holding back in this way, I already know exactly what is being deep inside me and I rejoice in that. To not hold back or to be the recipient of another not holding back brings so much healing, love and joy. Everyone benefits.

905. Lieke you’ve expressed here something the whole world as I know it is playing out – keeping ourselves tiny. Holding back how amazing we are is crippling. Thinking I have to live protecting myself from others knowing I’m amazing and they are too sounds crazy, but we’re so used to holding back that anyone not playing the game stands out. But there’s a huge cost to trying to fit in, so it’s super important to drop the pretence and give others the reflection that it can be perfectly normal to live expressing who we truly are.

     I know for me I’m not being this in full yet, but I have to start somewhere, to allow myself to know and appreciate who I truly am so I get to feel more and more I’m worth sticking with – that fitting in and getting sick as a result no longer makes sense. I know it’s time to appreciate what happens when I do express who I am and the beauty that arises as a result – even if this is feeling someone got what was reflected but reacted.

906. This is a blog, which empowers to not hold back.

907. This understanding is so clearly and simply shared and all very real. The effects described are real as my body also shares with me, however the antidotes are simply light, and some are even fun. So why would I hold back when there is no benefit to anyone and so much more for everyone when I am all of me? Thanks Leike for the loveliest of reflections on bringing more joy to everyday, which is something everyone would agree is a delight in any moment.

908. I am finding the more I express the easier it is to do so. It is a work in progress and very much caught up in how I value and nurture myself. I find myself these days quite often expressing without having to think about it, letting it come from an impulse rather than a specific thought – my quality doing the talking rather than my brain! The moment then feels complete with nothing more to do and I can move on, my body free of tension but expanded and open.

909. This is a great testimonial to the harm we cause ourselves when we ‘bite our tongues’ or don’t follow through with an impulse that feels true. I remember as a child expressing very naturally but somewhere along the way starting to hold back because of reactions and disapproval or being told I was being rude. Holding back then became the norm and I became quite shy. No one is teaching us about the physical repercussions of holding back but in order to withstand the possible reactions we have to develop self appreciation and worth as the foundation from which to express from otherwise the rebuffs will keep getting to us…

910. I love the description of what holding back feels like. ‘It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.’ The difference between the expansive joy and the contracted social niceties can clearly be felt and it highlights to me how most of us are culturally bound to be ‘polite’ and ‘mind our manners’ at the expense of our own bodies, and at the expense of what is true – playing a game that causes harm whilst telling ourselves we are doing ‘the right thing’!

911. My lower back has been sensitive for the last couple of days and after reading your blog, I felt so deeply inspired to observe where I am holding back. What I also notice is that with lower back pain, for me this also has to with sadness.

912. When I hold back I have made a choice to make life about me, not about humanity who I am intricately connected to. What I express or not impacts on the whole world and therefore has an impact on the universe that I am also intricately part of! Everything makes sense to me when I consider the bigger picture.

913. That it is still new for someone to say that there is a direct link between the state of our health and the way we express, says a lot about how we have been holding back as a human race. Even then, we like to think ‘holding back’ relates only to something we say, but what you present here Lieke is that it applies to every thing, that for every move there is a true and loving way and then one that is not that too. So what is the quality and impulse we will choose today in our every move?

914. Lieke, you simply describe a quality of life that is a choice for me to live – hold back on the truth I know I am and have a responsibility to express and I feel it immediately. I love the simple way you express!

915. I certainly know in my own life the effects that me choosing to hold back has had on my body. It is completely punishing on the body. The more I choose to not hold back the more my body is changing to reflect my true divine nature.

916. Holding back is protection, avoidance, comfort, lack of responsibility, selfishness – it is holding on to ‘my little world’.

917. Limiting how much love, grace and glory we can be is holding back. Having pictures of others, self, life holds us back. Reductionism holds us back. We can only set ourselves free from the restrictions we have created.

918. What you are saying here in this blog about how our way of being in the world affects our health is very powerful. This is a lot more than lifestyle as it is what we choose to express, our moment by moment choices and whether we dare follow what our body is telling us. We forget that we have a natural kind of compass in our body. Our bodies tell us exactly what is going on and the direction to take, if only we were open to listening to it.

919. There is much to ponder on here, Lieke. Our body is the marker for everything.

920. How do we hold back? By not saying what wants to be said, not speaking the full truth, moving in a restricted manner, overriding what we feel to be true, not expressing the love we feel for another, expecting to be rejected, complying, compromise, not honouring our body… the list is endless. The simple antidote: live and express your truth with love.

921. Holding back is the opposite of expressing. As the word says: ‘to ex-press’ what is in there and wants to get out is getting stuck in the body when held back, and of course this must have an effect on us. Imagine how much gets accumulated over time that otherwise would naturally be externalized, the body being released of it ready for the next impulse to come up and express forth. We are literally stuffed up when holding back.

922. This is a great insight into the health effects of such a deliberate choice to not follow what we innately know. Not following our impulses and expressing in full is holding our bodies in a constant strain of contraction. As our natural way of being is in full expression of the love that we are.

923. Lieke – what a gorgeous blog. I can relate to all you write here on holding back and, as I relinquish this hold on myself and work towards expressing in full with no holding back my body also reflects these changes. How awesome our own personal science laboratory is (our body) and an absolute marker of all truth in the way we choose to live and learn from it.

924. I know that I know exactly what I am doing when I choose to overide what I feel. Why do we deliberately choose to overide the impulses of our heart, impulses that make our life so much more simple and joyful – could that be it? Is there something about us or a part of us that likes to create the complication and drama of holding back? Does it give us identification and create issues that aren’t even there in the first place?

925. What is it about us, or what is it, that drives us do the absolute opposite of what we feel in our hearts?

926. ‘Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.’ Holding back has been my lifestyle until recently and like you say it is a work in progress as holding back shows itself in every area of my life and boy oh boy what have I been hiding the beauty that is in me as in everyone else. Sharing the joy and celebrating our expression is the way to go. Thank you Lieke for not holding back your amazingness!

927. I can relate to many of the physical symptoms that you share in you blog, there is so much more of me to bring to the world. It shows me how easy it is to fall for the trap of being nice, kind, friendly rather than truthful.

928. Holding back has plagued me most of my life so can really relate to your examples and symptoms and feel inspired to focus on ‘Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.’ Thank you Lieke perfectionism has no place in the joy of a life lived without holding back.

929. ‘What is the antidote?’ When I read your list below this I felt the joy and spaciousness of what we bring when we don’t hold back. Our bodies certainly benefit and the whole world does too.

930. The number one symptom currently reported in GP surgeries is exhaustion. If we all considered our exhaustion might stem from holding back, it would be a great start towards bringing awareness to how we are choosing to live each day.

931. Thank you for this wonderful blog Lieke. I love that it is shared on a medicine site as not holding back and expressing ourselves fully is not often considered as the ‘great medicine’ it is.

932. Such a simple blog Lieke but gives so much for us to recognise what it feels like in our bodies to hold back. I totally agree that it’s from my body I feel an impulse to express but that it’s the ‘stuff’ in the way that convinces us I can’t…esoteric healing modalities are amazing at revealing these patterns and addressing the beliefs that hinder true expression… so that we can express what’s there to be expressed.

933. There is another level of comfort that can be hidden in if I hold back in life from what my body has already felt and clocked. It often means I do not have to contend with the truth I have seen or felt or let go of the investments I have in many relationships or situations.

934. Thank you Lieke for expressing your experience of what holding back is for you. I have found this concept a difficult one to grasp at times and the simplicity that you describe of holding back from what your body has felt is something that my body can relate to. If everything is energy and we hold back on the felt energy in our bodies it makes sense that it would load us down or drain us.

935. “It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so.” – it feels like a crime for us not to do this with each other as everyone wants to feel love and be loved, and it is only the hurts we carry that stops us from freely expressing our love. When we start expressing our love, the hurts are no longer the focus.

936. This is a gorgeous blog Lieke…the list of ailments that your body may feel from holding back is huge and most of them are commonly felt by many people. So holding back our expression, and not following through with what we feel, is a big contributor to ill health.

937. More and more I understand the connection between saying what I feel and my body opening up and being more expansive. It is such a strong and obvious connection that it becomes harder and harder to not say something, even when I know it might cause a reaction in another. I actually am getting to the stage where I would prefer the reaction than to hold something back that I know needs to be said and feeling pain, tension or tightness in my body. The gift is in being able to read how holding back is felt, how it might mean I feel a twinge or pain in some part of me that I know relates to what was not expressed. Quite beautiful to understand we have this level of intuitive capability.

     1. Yes Stephen I agree: “I actually am getting to the stage where I would prefer the reaction than to hold something back that I know needs to be said and feeling pain, tension or tightness in my body.” As well as that, when we do not express in fear of reaction, we hide what is truly going on. When we express something that is true for us and a reaction comes back, we know where we are at, whilst with not expressing we would have never known what was going on for the other person, as a reaction always comes from a hurt. Seeing the reaction brings understanding as well.

        1. And what an understanding I’ve got thanks to both of your comments. Thanks guys 🙏🏼

938. “It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead” absolutely agree with that, through us is coming a mountain of heaven, moment to moment and we have a tendency to constrict, confine and reduce these feelings into the smallness of human life today, and this causes so many health issues and disfunction.

939. Absolutely love this Lieke! holding back is a disease! Love your explanation of what holding back is, it can be so many things but is simply holding back an impulse that comes from our heart.

940. Thank you Lieke,
     I have experienced all of the bodily symptoms that you share above at one time or another and of late there is one in particular that is a constant in my body. And as I write I know exactly why and the immediate way to begin to live without holding back from what my body is asking for, and this is for me to live with deep nurturing for my body. Something that I have offered myself in moments, as I do offer this to myself I can feel immediately that nurturing goes beyond me to everyone. I can feel in full the truth of who I am and the beauty of what it feels like nurturing myself and any one in my space. I know deeply that It is now time to not back away from what this way of living is waiting to bring into my life.

941. I can relate with this a billion percent. What I’ve come to realise is that majority of society is ran in a way where we are all encouraged to hold back. There’s plenty of words like ‘go for it’, ‘shoot for the stars’, ‘follow your dreams’ and ‘dream big’ but majority of the time these are just words and there is no true support or inspiration of what it truly means to go for it and not hold back. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine were the first ever to truly offer a way forward to not holding back. A way of living where the relationship with self and developing self love and confidence comes first. A way of living where true healing occurs, dealing with hurts or complications or road blocks stopping us from being ourself in full. Holding back is now a thing of the past and once we’ve developed a way of living without this it’s our responsibility to reflect it to the world!

942. Holding back is really as simple as handing over the reigns to those tiny thoughts of “maybe I shouldn’t” or “what if…”. Holding back stems the natural flow, creates impediments in both our body and our day – in terms of distraction, delay – and inevitably results in anxiousness and exhaustion. All because we choose to follow a thought instead of our initial impulse or feeling.

     1. Yes great point Hannah, I tended to give those thoughts (and sometimes still do) so much more attention than the actually whole body feeling. Much of which I am understanding more and more to come from a feeling of ‘what if my life flows and is easy all the time?’ This means I need to be aware and responsible all of the time!

943. Thank you for the list of symptoms Lieke – it makes the experience of what holding back does to the body very tangible.

944. “Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.” Yes, it’s so true Lieke. I’m learning to see how I allow the pictures I hold of perfection to stop me from attempting things and have observed how much more content with themselves people are that just give things a go without attaching to any outcome.

945. Super inspiring Lieke – thank you for sharing your many simple but super powerful antidotes to holding back 🙂

946. Beautiful article Lieke. Very relatable and light. Yum

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