by Lieke, Dentistry Student, Ghent, Belgium
You may think that our lifestyle is just what we eat, how much we exercise and whether we smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs, but I have come to understand that there is a deeper level of lifestyle, or livingness, which includes my whole way of living, that has an effect on how I feel and the health of my body.
One of the things that affects me is holding back.
What is holding back?
Holding back, for me, is to not follow through an impulse that is true and from my heart, and instead not doing it or doing the absolute opposite.
Holding back is not doing something my WHOLE BODY is telling me to do.
It is like feeling extremely joyful, wanting to jump and celebrate and totally go for it, and then being nice, courteous and polite and moving slowly instead.
I have been holding back for most of my life, and through the teachings presented by Universal Medicine and Esoteric Healing sessions, I have come to understand – and have now an absolute knowing for myself – that holding back has an effect on my body. A big one.
What are the effects of holding back on my body?
- Lower back pain, especially when lying down in bed at night (you may know this one, it is that pain in your lower back that you may try to relieve by pulling your knees up to your tummy, with or without success)
- Feeling of dullness
- Heart beating faster and more strongly than usual
- Tension in my whole body
- Pain or cold in my lungs, or a sort of unpleasant feeling in my chest
- Heart burn
- Constipation, if I do not allow the natural flow of things… it is not a coincidence that my bowel reflects this in not flowing either. As well as the fact that when I am holding back, I often hold back from following my first impulse as to what to eat, which results in my body not getting what it needs to do a proper job. PLUS to not feel all of the above I can choose to eat foods that are numbing my body and actually disrupt the healthy flow of my digestive system.
- Headache at times, with the frustration of absolutely knowing but not following through my feelings
What is the antidote?
Expressing myself, not holding back and totally going for it when I feel to do something.
Following my impulses and honouring them by listening to them and following them through, even if it does not work out as I expected – it feels way more honouring to do something and not do it perfectly, than not doing it at all.
The healing of holding back is in these small things, but also in expressing what I feel is true and not true in the world.
It is in not holding back from saying something, even if it might not be what others think. Not holding back even when it challenges the status quo.
It is in not holding back showing that I am beautiful and know it.
It is in not holding back my innate joy of living my amazing life.
It is in not holding back the love I feel for all people in this world and expressing it so.
It is in not holding back knowing I am from God and that I am a beautiful being here to express my love and light in the world.
This expressing myself more and more and not holding back makes my body feel lighter, more vital, and extremely joyful. The pain in my lower back has disappeared, my body feels more free in its movements, my back is more straight when I stand, there is a bounce in my steps when I walk and many of the other symptoms are gone and only come back to remind me when I am holding back in an area of my life.
This all is a work in progress, but for sure my way forward.
I am forever inspired by and in deep appreciation of the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom, as presented by Serge Benhayon and his family.