by Ruth Ketnor, Frome, UK
At the age of 29 I gave up on having cervical smear tests. I found them so extremely painful and distressing that I decided I wasn’t going there again.
At the age of 50 I had to have a smear test as one of a series of tests (note I said had to). I went to the appointment in dread of what was coming and felt a lot of tension. With a very caring nurse we tried 3 times after which we called it a day, as it was still so painful.
The next year I attended a group in which Natalie Benhayon presented Sacred Movement. When starting this gentle and very subtle movement of my pelvis I felt pain and a real tightness, a hardening I had been holding in my pelvic area, particularly on the right side. As I did the movement in the classes and then daily at home, these symptoms cleared from my body quickly, the movement becoming more flowing, even, and as if my body was naturally doing it rather than me intentionally doing it.
Five months later, I felt it was the right time to have another smear test, this time as a loving choice for myself. I booked the appointment as a loving choice for me, supporting myself in my own health care. I supported myself with further loving choices, nurturing myself before and after the procedure. In the waiting room I focused on staying present with myself. I went through the usual questions with the nurse, who was quite rushed with her busy job.
She then said to get up on the table ready for the test. I wasn’t moving. I said: “Before we go any further, I need to explain something to you”. She sat down, put down her questionnaire and really listened. I briefly told her my history and said: “I need this to go very slowly and very, very gently”. She instantly changed, slowed her pace down and it felt like she was treating me rather than doing her job. I then got on the table and she gave me a blanket to cover myself, which I had not had before.
We took time to make sure I was comfortable and relaxed. We had a dialogue through the whole procedure; the nurse saying what she was going to do in each next step, checking with me all the time that it was ok and me saying how it was for me and if I needed it done differently. There was no rushing and I didn’t feel like I was the next one in. She also gave me time afterwards to sit and recover, which I didn’t need, as things had gone so smoothly and gently.
It was an amazing procedure, the nurse so gentle and caring. All I had was mild discomfort during the procedure and afterwards was able to continue my day as normal, with no discomfort or pain at all. I felt very cared for and nurtured through the whole procedure, being given all the time I needed. I thanked the nurse, telling her she had been amazing.
My loving choices before and during the procedure led it to be a light, supportive experience with an attentive caring nurse.
I was inspired to communicate what would support me during this procedure, and to support myself with loving choices, from the workshops/presentations with Serge Benhayon. Normally I would have gone along with what was asked and had lingering feelings of distress/trauma afterwards. This time I walked out smiling and continued my day. After 21 years the test came back clear.
For me, a profound, deep healing has come as a result of doing the Sacred Movement. This has allowed me to make healing choices for myself, including having a cervical smear as part of caring for my body. I have found that all the presentations of Universal Medicine offer a deep healing and inspire me to make more loving choices.
With deep thanks and appreciation for the presentations, teachings and wisdom from Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family and for their true and consistent support in my healing process.
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
Ruth I participate in Sacred Movement sessions and have done so for several years now and I have found the gentle movements are a way to feel my body and to trust myself enough to let down the wall of protection we build to keep the world out. There is now an honouring of my body rather than using it as a battering ram to get through life.
It really does make a difference when we do something with the intention of supporting ourselves or doing it ‘because we have to’.
When we engage with the doctor, dentist or nurse and explain to them, how we are feeling I have found they do stop and take their time. I saw a new dentist recently and explained how I hated having a filling because the anesthetic made me very racy and I hated this feeling in my body, so they gave me a different kind of anesthetic and I was fine no raciness at all. And the dentist was extremely gentle and caring it was the best visit to the dentist ever. All because I took the time to talk to the dentist rather than just letting them get on with what they are doing, because they are the experts not me.
Serge Benhayon and the whole Benhayon family have supported me immensely to heal deep wounds, to them I am deeply grateful for they have inspired me to see, feel and claim my own magnificence.
This is a brilliant sharing about smear tests becoming much more comfortable than before. I haven’t had the same experience as you, in that I have reluctantly gone ahead and had the tests, and found them quite painful and at times left feeling violated even though the person hasn’t meant it from that intent.
It is so important with any tests that care and attention is offered to every patient, or client in anything that is performed on them. We are all deserving of this loving attention.
What a difference taking greater care before a procedure can make, Ruth!
It makes a world of difference when a person is asked to slow down and be ultra considerate when doing a procedure that can be extremely painful and distressing. It makes me wonder how many women grit their teeth and bares the pain without saying anything. Well done Ruth for speaking up – by all accounts it sounds like it activated the natural caring side of the nurse that can so easily be forgotten when we are busy or overworked.
Agree Julie, the ‘natural caring side of the nurse can so easily be forgotten when we are busy or overworked’. I feel this statement is relevant in every profession, the ‘caring’ part is crucial in providing a service to everything and everyone.
My last smear test was a nightmare the nurse told me that scientists had decided that the lubricant that was used on the instrument might interfere with the test itself. So the nurse wasn’t allowed to use any lubricant. I found this procedure to be extremely painful and the nurse after a few unsuccessful attempts said she could not carry out the test as I was being a difficult patient. I asked her to use the lubricant this made a huge difference and the test was completed. Thankfully that was my very last smear test for this life time. I did wonder after all these years why the scientist had made the decision to change the procedure, surely the lubricant used had been tested to ensure it did not interfere with the test results? And did it mean that all those tests on women for all the years had the potential to be misleading?
Amazing domino effect of how taking responsibility for your healing, Ruth, and bringing that healing to your interaction and connection with the nurse allowed her to bring herself back to the truly sensitive, caring woman she is despite being buried under all the chilled formalities of just getting through her day.
I love this about this story. When we are transparent and honest, allowing others to see our fragility the love we invite them to offer supports them too!
Communicating with the nurse was a reminder of her natural caring that brought her into nursing and, how you both were with this procedure, will be for the benefit of all patients she tends.
When we communicate what would be supportive to ourselves we are claiming our self worth.
This is very inspiring and made me ponder on how often I have obliged myself to comply with a protocol simply because it was what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t want to be a ‘trouble’ or ‘too sensitive’ and I can feel how common that is amongst women. I can feel how I could be loved more by me.
I love this blog for it really shows how we can change our relationship with the world just by caring more deeply for ourselves.
Wow this is a great testament both to how much you progressed in looking after yourself and how powerful modalities like sacred movement are in releasing stuck parts of our body. It also proves to me that our approach is everything and we 100 percent govern our approach to life so 100 percent govern the outcome also.
It’s amazing how simple everything becomes when we give ourselves the permission to deeply feel our body, by honouring and making possible the most loving way to treat it anywhere.
It is our connection to ourselves and all others that is deeply healing and the lack of it that hurts us so.
Beautifully said. We hurt our bodies, we hurt our own growth, development and evolution, and our relationships with ourselves and all others when we choose to not connect, be and live who we truly are.
Ruth a great example of how people change when we are up front and honest, and how honouring others can be of our situation. and how through that honesty and change an outcome can be very different.
This is a lovely read, it shows how we can change our experiences in life by trusting how we feel, letting people know what our needs are, and being gentle and loving with ourselves. If we see an experience as something we “have to go through”, we are already bracing for and expecting the discomfort, rather than feeling empowered and working with the person supporting us to provide the gentleness and level of care we need.
A couple of months ago I braved another go at a smear test. This time was so different and like you Ruth I cared for myself before hand, communicated to the nurse before and during. By the end I was laughing because it was so simple when that caring, gentle approach was taken. I hugged the nurse and no longer feel afraid of smear tests because I have the experience that it can be pain free.
Brilliant Leigh. How lovely when we take responsibility for ourselves, stay committed to our own self care and nurturing and communicate to those around us what is going on. I can feel the joy you brought to the treatment room and the lightness and freedom that you allowed.
I can feel how this must have been a very special moment for the nurse as well. It sounds like she had a very different experience from her usual routine – having a woman who has prepared herself so lovingly that she was able to communicate what was needed to support her during the procedure, and for her to be able to offer that support. Very beautiful.
I fînd that also Fumiyo, that wherever I am if I have prepared myself lovingly and feel connected to my stillness people around me begin to shift (and often quite quickly) into their own love and stillness.
Very beautiful, the way that you took the time to connect with the nurse out of respect for yourself. This deeply held inwardly looking / outwardly expressing relationship with the world is something very powerful.
Agreed Shami, regardless of the situation that connection is key and allows the basis for true care and healing, a great reflection.
That nurse was obviously gentle and caring as it was all there for you when you asked for it, but I wonder if she would have been that way if you had not asked for it. Yes, I think some of it, but I don’t think all of it. By you asking for it, you activated more of it in her, you took responsibility for what you wanted and in turn it was there for you, and you brought out more of her as well. Total win win in my books.
This is a great sharing Ruth, it is so important to speak up and know that you are being heard, Cervical smears are a necessity for our health, and when we proceed with love and honesty our body naturally responds.
Asking for what we need, be it in a medical setting or elsewhere is so important. This made all the difference when you had a cervical smear test this time – beautiful. “My loving choices before and during the procedure led it to be a light, supportive experience with an attentive caring nurse.”
‘My loving choices before and during the procedure led it to be a light, supportive experience with an attentive caring nurse.’ By you opening up and telling her exactly what you needed you connected to the nurse and she could stop her usual rush and serve with care for you as a patient.
That is a breakthrough and very simply achieved. Are there others?
I too have avoided smear tests due to the pain, the previous ones were so traumatising. I loved reading the simplicity of your communication with the nurse and I thought to myself ‘I can do that’ as I am comfortable with sharing how I feel to others…I may just book an appointment in, why not.
I am not aware of an equivalent for men but to do something we never managed before can be very liberating and feel like a big expansion.
Wow Ruth, what a great claiming this is. Due to your clear communication she stopped and listened and provided the care that you needed. Just beautiful. A real example of how we can call people back into their loving nature by being in ours. Thank you for sharing.
Rebecca exactly, it’s an amazing lesson for us all in how we can be with ourselves, and therefore with others including medical professionals to support them to understand the quality and care in what the action is they do that is so important and the impact this has.
wow it feels like you really touched the nurse and offered her a big healing as well and therefore the next clients she sees.
This is inspiring Ruth to really ask what you feel you need instead of just letting the procedure come over you because ‘that is just how life is’, as we say way too easily.
This is a beautiful example Ruth of how building relationships with our medical practitioners supports us to feel more empowered and lovingly prepared for any procedure or treatment plan we may need to undergo.
Ruth, thank you for sharing, it was a joy to read. I too had a similar experience where I was to have a pap smear and the nurse came in quite rushed and very functional. I took the time to connect with her as I was more than her 12 o’clock vagina (so to speak!) and we connected as people. Beyond the role of nurse/client – as people. It was only for a moment, but it was enough. I felt much more comfortable and the process was quite easy.
This is very inspiring. It’s just beautiful how the nurse got pulled out of her busy-ness in response to the quality you have established with and for yourself and calling her with.
When we care for ourselves the body gets fed back care and love.
Beautiful Ruth, what comes across from reading your words today is the absolute power our choices have. And how when we ignore parts of our body and who we are, we resist addressing the issues that are there. And this resistance leads to difficulty and pain that seems to confirm it’s right to keep blocking it all out. It’s confirming here to read and see that when we actually go for it and embrace life and all it brings, there is also a way forward that will support us back.
A great testimonial for Sacred Esoteric Movement, and for expression too, when we are able to express with great honesty, we are able to change another’s actions, as you did with the nurse and through that expression there is a greater connection.
Thanks for sharing this Ruth, I have had similar painful experiences when having smear tests and have avoided getting a more recent one. Inspired… I will make similar steps to you in supporting myself for my next test.
When we get to the point where we truly want to change, we will make it happen. The needed tools and modalities will be on hand for us to go forward with what is planned. What you share here Ruth makes it incredibly clear that the way we move is super powerful and when we know our sacredness the future plans and assignments are taken care of – there is no stress when we move in true connection.
As a different point of view, I too have always found cervical smears painful and braced my body in preparation for them. I also generally had to have them once per year because of abnormal cells. This year I had a follow-up, I totally allowed my body to relax, I didn’t brace, and I talked to the nurse about how sensitive I am. The appointment was simple, and as a result, I was totally clear for the first time. It was a confirmation of the way I have been living.
The direct link to how you are to then how the world reflects back to you is becoming more and more clear. It’s not I guess that it wasn’t so clear before it’s more that I avoided it so well that it made it appear ‘it’ was unclear. The movements we make through life bring with it certain lessons or certain reflections and with these we can either change our movements to heal or discard certain patterns, or we can keep choosing them and receive a very similar outcome, over and over. This article is an example of a person changing the way they are, the quality of their movement that then supported what when on to them to also reflect that change, extremely powerful and you could say responsible.
What a beautiful example of being met with a true quality of caring from the nurse of which can be an important part of the healing process along with our own engagement with own treatment.
A beautiful sharing of the power of Sacred Movement and how our commitment to this practise can heal so much in us, contributing to change in behaviour, old held patterns, beliefs and stuck energy, inspiring more loving choices bringing us to a place of freedom, flow, health and appreciation.