by HR Professional in Healthcare, London, UK
Some years ago, I believed that getting ill was a sign of weakness, and that going to the doctor was not necessary. I was strongly independent, and pushed hard to keep going, feeling that if I got ill, or used my local health services, that meant I had done something wrong, and that others might judge me. I also went through a phase where I didn’t want to use any pharmaceutical medicines, as I wanted to avoid putting ‘toxins’ into my body. There were times when I had an infection or an ache or a pain and I would struggle through, trying to find some natural remedy, which usually didn’t work. I prided myself when I spoke to colleagues and friends that I rarely saw my doctor and, looking back this was rather odd, as I have worked in the National Health Service (NHS) for 33 years, in many forms of care environments, yet I never actually considered that I myself may need support or care from the NHS or my local doctor (General Practitioner /GP) at any time.
Thirteen years ago, I was very sick, with a number of illnesses – all of which I had consistently ignored until the day when I woke up and I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt so ill that I realised that I had no option but to seek some form of support. I didn’t want support from my local health services, and sought the support of a herbalist. I realised I needed to get time off work as I could hardly sit, yet stand, so working was out of the question. I went to my local doctor and asked for some sick leave, which she agreed to on the proviso I checked in with her fortnightly. She asked that I had some blood tests, but I refused all her offers except for the certificate to take time off work. Over a number of months of bed rest, and support from a herbalist I did actually improve, though looking back, I got back to a level of function, though I wasn’t really well, and I wasn’t able to get back to physical exercise for 2 years, and had to work part time for a year. I still didn’t consult my doctor any further than getting a sick note.
A few years later I went to a workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, and for the first time in my life, I realised that there was something about the way I was living that was not at all right, but until that moment I hadn’t been willing to look at my own life and daily living choices. I didn’t smoke, rarely drank alcohol, had never taken drugs, didn’t take pharmaceuticals, ate organic food, and was back to being fully functional. I had prided myself at being stoic, seemingly well, and so why would I need to look at my life, let alone the way I was living? However, at this workshop, and a number of subsequent workshops presented by Serge Benhayon, I felt as though a mist was lifting and that I was starting to truly feel how un-well I actually was. I could feel somewhere deep inside me that what Serge Benhayon was presenting, whether it was about considering food choices, or the natural rhythms of our body, (for example, going to bed by 9 pm) made sense. At the same time, I could also feel my own resistance to truly feeling how I was living, and, that the way I was living was running me ragged. Never once did Serge Benhayon tell me or anyone else to follow what he presented, he merely shared his own experiences, and it was always up to me to discern whether what he shared made sense or not.
One day, after having attended a number of workshops, I became aware of how constantly tired, depleted, and exhausted I was, how sad I felt, and, how I did actually have some health problems that I had just taken for granted, as ‘part of being human’, and I hadn’t ever wondered why those health problems consistently blighted my life. I had endometriosis (for 20 years), with excruciatingly painful periods, I had eczema, asthma, food allergies, regular bouts of rhinitis, and constipation to name a few, but I just managed them, struggled through and thought they were just part of ‘the deal’ of daily living. So, on this particular day I asked myself – what if there was a different way of looking at this? What if there was more that I could do to support myself in my daily life? That day I decided to have a go at looking at how I was living; after all, it couldn’t make my life any worse, and it may just support me if I took time to look at how I was caring for myself. And that was a day that began to change my life.
From there on, I started bit by bit to look at how I was living, from my food choices, to whether I was adequately hydrated, to how much rest I allowed, to giving it a go to go to bed earlier, and to taking more care and attention in the way I planned and prepared for my busy working days. Over a number of years, I started to feel different, and, what I would call ‘well’ for the first time that I could remember. My eczema, asthma, rhinitis dissipated, and I slowly started to feel less depleted. During this time I undertook a PhD study on self care at work (selfcare at work part 1 and part 2 ), as I also realised from observing my work colleagues, that I was not alone, and many others I worked with didn’t seem to pay attention to the way they lived or their daily work choices. I also realised that some of the things that I changed, such as going to bed by 9 pm ( as I have written about on this blog) felt really natural, and that my body had always wanted me to go to bed at this time. It really was beneficial, and now I absolutely cherish going to bed by 9pm as a deeply self-caring way to live.
Some months ago, I was feeling tired, and for the first time in a long time I was drawn to go along to see my local doctor. As I arrived at the surgery I could for the first time feel how supportive and self-caring it was to go to my doctor. I spoke to her about my tiredness, that I was going into menopause, and that something just didn’t feel right in my body. We agreed that I would have a whole battery of blood tests, and other tests, to get a fuller understanding of what was going on in my body. The doctor was very supportive, and took time to organise these tests for me. As I left the surgery I cried, as I realised how many times I had ignored my impulse to go to the doctor for support, and how going to my doctor is actually deeply self-regarding. A week later my GP phoned me to tell me that there was something in my bloods and suggested a way forward, which again for the first time I agreed to proceed with (as I usually discounted much of what any doctors in the past had said to me). Actually I was relieved to realise that there had been something that needed my deeper attention and that with the help of the GP I was able to take care of it. Some months later during a presentation at Universal Medicine I then realised that it is actually natural that the physical body does get sick, or does need medical attention, and, I could for myself feel just how normal that was – that at times, just as in my experience with my bloods, my body had got sick, and did need support, not just from me, but from others e.g. my doctor.
Where am I going to with this? I had a deeply ingrained view that medicine was for others, and that being ill was weak. At the same time I didn’t really take care of myself on a daily basis in a way that supported my body. Serge Benhayon by his presentations, but more so by the inspiration he offered in the way he lives, and in the way he is when he presents, offered me an opportunity to realise that I too could change the way I was living if I was prepared to take a look at my daily living choices. In choosing to look at my daily living choices over a few years, I got to understand deeply how many things in life are self loving, and one of these was that it is actually deeply self caring to go to my doctor and get support when I need to, and, that getting sick was my body’s way of alerting me that something about the way I was living was not working. The combined effects of attending Universal Medicine workshops, and, choosing to take care of myself on a daily basis enabled me to realise the importance of recognising when I was unwell, and also that asking my local GP for support was a very loving choice, and a natural part of taking care of myself. During these last few months I also now enjoy my regular visits to my local dentist, the dental hygienist, as well as my local optician, and I can honestly say I feel very supported in my life. Esoteric Medicine has a role to play in our health and wellbeing as does Western Medicine. Together as I am experiencing they are a very powerful combination.
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
I used to be quite resistant to going to the doctor, and also would struggle along trying to find my own natural remedies. I had a lot of judgement and beliefs about the medical system which were simply not true. I remember being at a presentation by Universal Medicine about the importance of self care and receiving medical attention and it made so much sense that I began seeing my doctor regularly. I would still have hiccups and want to be resistant but the common sense way Serge presented self care and medical care really helped me to break that down. What I now see are many truly gorgeous people in medicine who simply want to care for others, my doctors have all worked so hard in their studies and ongoing education to be ready to support every patient and they are all lovely people. If I don’t like the care I receive I just change the doctor, understanding the pressures that person may be under.
‘Some years ago, I believed that getting ill was a sign of weakness, and that going to the doctor was not necessary. I was strongly independent, and pushed hard to keep going, feeling that if I got ill, or used my local health services, that meant I had done something wrong, and that others might judge me.’ So many of us feel or have felt like this, which sums up just how dominated we are by the consciousness of having to harden to overcome adversity, which is championed. We are taught very early to feel shame for feeling fragile or vulnerable, and yet when we harden we damage the relationship we have with ourselves as we become dishonest about how we are really feeling overriding what is there to be felt.
Funny how seeing doctors can scare some of us witless, only when we face our fears and act when needed to can we truly heal.
I resonated with some of the things presented in this blog. I would be reluctant to see the GP at first, then freak out afterwards and go when I wasn’t improving. I hadn’t seen that the way I was living would go hand in hand with my health, until I attended Serge Benhayon’s workshops, and my whole perspective on health changed.
Every health professional specialist is part of self-care and I embrace this more and more. This is the future of our health and well-being.
Talking with others I am aware that there are many people who don’t go to the doctors for fear of being a nuisance or wasting their time, what I can feel in this now is there is a lack of self love, self appreciation and self responsibility in such a choice.
Totally agree with you Le. There’s also the other perspective too, where people indulge in visiting the GP, when they haven’t been responsible in the first place. Things pile up, wanting the doctors or health professionals to fix them after their ill choices too.
What a turnaround from avoiding your GP like the plague to recognising how supportive they can be with exploring how best to support yourself through an illness. I used to boast that I never went to see a doctor (conveniently forgetting the times when I had been forced through their door in desperation) and yet took very little responsibility for looking after myself which is crazy when I would not dream of expecting my car or house to keep running without any maintenance.
This is a great change Doug and one which is so important for us all. The second part is that we take the utmost responsibility for ourselves and our health away from the doctor so that when we do seek their help and support, we go there with a body ready for it.
Doctors train long and hard to be able to support us when we are sick and part of the medicine is for us to present a body that is taking responsibility for our part in any healing.
It’s crazy how most of us will wait weeks and months to see a doctor even when we know something is not right. Recently I was talking to some one close and dearly loved by me, who was refusing to go to the doctors. This kind of behaviour is often rooted in lack of self worth. We all deserve to be supported and cared deeply for. Our systems should be set up to reflect this.
We often don’t make the correlation between our choices and our health, when we do we realise that we are able to help ourselves simply by changing our choices.
I just came home from spending 2 weeks in England, attending Universal Medicine courses, feeling very tired and needing lots of sleep. Reading this blog, I am realising how ‘being well’ is never an arrived at point, there is a relationship that is constantly changing therefore can never be taken for granted. It is a dialogue, and my body needs to be cared for deeply, constantly – not because I may not be feeling well, but because that is what it deserves by default.
Our body is constantly communicating with us and once we become willing to listen it is a relationship that can deepen and blossom with no judgement if we go through phases of e.g. needing more sleep/rest.
That ‘get on with it and things will sort themselves out’ is not from my experience the best approach to our health. What I have come to appreciate and understand is that once you know what is going on with your body you are then in the position to make different choices that are going to support this. Western medicine is greatly supportive and to look at the root cause supports a true healing.
I’ve found how self loving and supportive it is to see my doctor for minor things. Basically, if it’s worrying me then it’s a big thing even if it’s so-called ‘small’ on the body. I find my doctor is very able to explain exactly what it is and reassure me, and that in itself is a very healing and supportive experience. I recognise that I don’t have the knowledge or experience of my doctor so I need their input. I never used to be able to reach out for support for what was worrying me so it’s a lovely change inspired by Universal Medicine.
When we start to look at self care, and what we can do to help ourselves, a visit to the doctor’s begins to feel like a very obvious choice, because when we don’t feel well there is absolutely no point trying to struggle on, because when we do we are a long way from self care, almost neglecting ourselves for other things that we consider more important when our own health is one of the most important things.
I visit the doctor regularly – for blood tests, for diagnosis and for referrals to consultant specialists if necessary. He knows I don’t like taking medicines unless absolutely necessary and he recommends but doesn’t insist – he knows I’ll go away and do some research on any options for new medication. He also know that I live a reasonably healthy lifestyle and is very encouraging. Self care and medicine go very well together.
It makes complete sense to make seeing our doctor part of the way that we honour, care for and cherish ourselves.
Seeing getting ill as being a failure only sets us up for more unloving thoughts about ourselves. I also saw getting ill as a weakness so I used to hide how ill I felt and pretend that I was not struggling. Getting ill was for those who did not have a handle on life and I told myself that I knew better – I can now feel the arrogance of that way of thinking.
Jane, this is such an inspirational account of how, when we live in a way where we endlessly put ourselves under unnecessary stresses and strains, and then reject the medical help on offer, that eventually our body will say enough – often very loudly. But then of course we still have the choice to listen, or not, but you have demonstrated so very clearly that life doesn’t have to stay the way it always has, and that with opening yourself up to other healing possibilities including caring deeply for your body, that it cannot help but change.
The way we care for ourselves is vital for our health, if there is something wrong with our car we don’t hesitate in taking it to a mechanic, after all why would you want to make the situation worse, it’s the same with our bodies and our health – we need a certain level of due diligence when it comes to how we look after ourselves to ensure we don’t manoeuvre ourselves into a position where our health is at risk.
There is a huge difference engaging in your own health care plan and that of what traditional medicine and complementary medicine has to offer.
I understand this way of thinking, that rejects pharmaceutical drugs for their supposed ‘toxic’ effects. And while some I am sure are very difficult for the body to process, I wonder how bad that difficulty is in comparison to the onslaught of emotionality and self-abuse that we often put our bodies through.
‘Some months later during a presentation at Universal Medicine I then realised that it is actually natural that the physical body does get sick, or does need medical attention, and, I could for myself feel just how normal that was – that at times, just as in my experience with my bloods, my body had got sick, and did need support, not just from me, but from others e.g. my doctor.’ It is interesting to note that I have seen being sick not as a weakness but as a sign of not getting things right. There is something in me that hasn’t accepted that getting sick is natural and needs to be accepted as such. Thank you for offering this as it is something I need to sit with and feel more.
I love this way of looking at ailments in the body – a loving message to look at how we have been living – an invitation to learn and grow. At the same time, I am not sure how much I deeply appreciate it when my body does confirm my choices as loving. Yesterday I was at a singing workshop and I have never felt such freedom to move or such freedom in my body to move. There were no aches and pains, just a fluidity that felt joyful. I, of course, clocked it and saw it as a marker for how far I have come but I am not sure I completely appreciated what it was sharing with me.
How harmful is the perception that to be seen by a doctor means we are weak and may be judged? There are so many things that may be going on in our bodies, yet we will have no idea because our arrogance kicks in and we try to solve it ourselves, perhaps in the same momentum which caused the dis-ease in the first place. What would happen if we sought help, if we opened up to our doctor and the support they may offer?
Great question Viktoria – “What would happen if we sought help, if we opened up to our doctor and the support they may offer?”. I have a very strong feeling that the rates of illness and disease, especially the ones which have developed complications from the delay, may just start to decrease. I often get a sense that some stay away from their doctors as they really don’t want to admit there is something ‘wrong’ with them, and that by simply ignoring it, it may go away.
“it is actually natural that the physical body does get sick, or does need medical attention”- this just blows out of the water the notion that if you are ‘super healthy’ and ‘super fit’ you wont get sick or need medical attention. So not true. I see it as our responsibility to take great care of the body and seek medical attention when needed so we take the best vehicle we can to get serviced.
That is indeed another belief ‘when you are super healthy, you don’t get sick.’ And what a disappointment when we do get sick and little true care we give to our body. Whilst when we see it as part of nature, we just take the responsibility when it occurs.
We mostly avoid doctors or rely on them and force them in a way to have the answers to solve the physical stmptoms.
To take our own responsibility to listen in early stage to the signals of our body and go to the GP if needed to have a look with you at what is going on at the physical level is as much important as to look what is going on an energetic level. As all has a reason. We don’t just get ill.
Indeed that is our responsibility. To listen carefully to the signals and don’t deny them until it is too late. Just see the GP for a check to be on the ‘safe side’.
It is a truly great moment when you ask – perhaps there is another way to live, a way that is full of vitality and well-being, a way that does not include a daily struggle with what is considered normal physical discomfort, a way that has a precious joy to it in every way?
Great to read and to realise that in fact while I’m very engaged with looking at my health with my various health professionals, I actually consider it a way to get my body back to par, and that when it’s below that par I consider there is something wrong which needs to be fixed … yes engaging with medicine is needed, but in fact it may be that my body is showing my a wider and much needed stop to consider how I’m living beyond the physical body.
It made me smile, the dichotomy of working for the NHS for all those years, and yet not making use of the service! So often we don’t use the support that is right in front of us, and make our lives harder than they have to be.
I LOVE my doctor, it is a surgery with many doctors and I rarely specify which one I would like to see because whichever one I have seen has always been the perfect one for me on that day. I never abuse the spot I had and always went armed with what I had been doing for myself, what I felt worked and what I was having difficulty with. We are a team, their professional expertise is exactly what is needed to translate the communication from my body at times, but without my professional experience of my personal body we would meander around and be much less efficient with any treatment.
It is interesting how we tend to accept so called minor ailments as normal and just part of human life when in truth they are far from normal and usually big messages from our bodies that all is not well. Perhaps if we paid more attention to these signs and symptoms from the body and did something about them much earlier on, we would prevent a lot of the more major problems that really make us stop in our tracks?
It’s normal for the body to get ill, it’s part of it’s natural ability to communicate to us, to communicate that how we are living is not supportive to it. Imagine how healthcare and society could change by this fact alone?
Reading this today brought tears to my eyes. It is very beautiful to read of another human being reconnecting to their worth, taking their blinkers off and seeing what is really going on for them, and then choosing to bring more care and love to themselves to heal. I love how Universal Medicine is inspiring people to do this. It is always the persons choice, but the inspiration of another way to live our lives is there for us to freely choose (or not).
I can very much relate to this. I used to think that I was giving my power away when I sought support, but actually, it was the way I utilized that offered support that was disempowering as I had a need to be fixed without taking responsibility to be a part of a healing process.
That’s a very beautiful comment Fumiyo and I can see that it is not the support that disempowers us but our relationship with the support that makes or breaks us.
There is something deeply accepting in understanding that illness can be a blessing and is our body’s way of saying look and consider how we are here and could this be different, could it be more loving and what support is needed and from whom? Our bodies forever speak to us.
If we can learn that when the body speaks it is not just that it’s an inconvenience, but that it has something genuine to say about the way we are living, to listen and take action… then we would have a health system that is responsive. And the thing about this approach is that it is up to us.
Thank you Jane a very supportive sharing, I am learning to now go to the doctors for support much earlier than before, once I would wait until I was feeling very unwell because I was worried about taking up his time in case it would go away on its own, it’s crazy the misinformation we allow our minds to feed us.
Deep humbleness and appreciation is deeply felt when we let go of beliefs and care for ourselves.
Your blog reminded me that in the past I also used to push past things and not go to the doctor. Since attending Universal Medicine events I am much more caring and responsible about my body and if anything needs attending to I will immediately go to my doctor.
Now that I am so much more responsible about my health and well-being it turns out I rarely actually need to go to the doctor. However, even in my good health I ensure that at least once a year I have a check-up and a full battery of blood tests to ensure all remains in order.
Yes, regarding to health, prevention comes along with attention to our body, not only attending it when this is ill, but as a regular basis in our life.
‘for 33 years, in many forms of care environments, yet I never actually considered that I myself may need support or care from the NHS or my local doctor’ It’s amazing how we can keep ourselves separate like this and think that we are fine on our own. I know when I got very sick several years ago there was certainly an aspect of the “it doesn’t happen to me” attitude. Thank you Jane for sharing so candidly and showing that seeing dentists, doctors, podiatrists, opticians, Universal Medicine is so supportive and makes a great support for ourselves and is part of our self love programme.
Extreme stress can be just as bad as an unhealthy lifestyle. Jane, you are quite right here.
Serge Benhayon is slowly introducing a new normal into our society, where sadness, grief, anger, illness and disease (this list could go on and on) are shown up for what they are – not normal but sadly have become normal. He is (re) introducing a way of living that brings much more self-care and self-love and responsibility into our lives so we can live much more joyful vital and connected.
I used to feel proud of the fact i didn’t ‘need; to go to the doctor much – it was like a badge of honour. I now go to see my doctor when I need to and yes, get my blood checked to ensure nothing untoward is going on. How I feel is my greatest guide and listening to my body’s messages – and honouring them – is also a great guide for me too. Combining the two makes a lot of sense.
It’s funny how we pride ourselves on being ‘stoic’ and see asking for help as a weakness. We have the medical profession highly trained who can support us in matters relating to our physical and mental health and we also have complementary medicine organisations such as Universal Medicine that can help us to support ourselves with a healthy lifestyle.Our bodies are strong but they are also fragile and need tender care.
Yes, they are fragile and we forget this because we are so used to testing it and pushing the boundaries. Really, we have not progressed out of adolescence where this is a developmental stage!
There is some research that suggests that seeing our doctor more regularly rather than waiting for a acute condition to emerge actually reduces the burden on our health care services. This makes sense to me as this falls into self care, prevention and early intervention categories where we can address our life style choices that may be contributing to our ills.
Yes, that is one of the reasons that primary care is one of the most important determinants of the overall health of a population.
I have found that bringing more awareness to how we’re feeling in any given moment supports us to feel more deeply into whether our choices are really working for us. It can be very subtle, and like you’ve mentioned here Jane, we can be the picture of health on the outside on a superficial level, fully functioning and eating a healthy diet, but if we’re working in a way where we’re constantly pushing ourselves and not listening to what our body really needs, then we run ourselves down and affect our overall health. The body really does know, all of the time, what we need to do to fully support ourselves and live in a way that is sustainable over the long term – the key is listening to its messages and then acting on them.
Seeing a doctor is an important part of taking care of ourselves, it’s almost like a stop moment where we say hold on – something isn’t right and if we make sure it is medically taken care of from there we can assess what may have caused it and what needs to be changed or adjusted moving forward.
Yes it is a powerful combination, over the last 13 years I have had several illnesses and issues with various joints and each time I have had support from my doctor and from Esoteric practitioners and the healing has been thorough. There has been a greater understanding on my part as to why the illness happened in the first place, the lifestyle choices that led up to it, and then, with that understanding I have been careful to live in a way that supports my continuing good health thereafter.
‘When things go wrong’ is a lot earlier than we think – by the time we’re sitting in the doctors chair the ‘horse has bolted’ as we say. So it’s beautiful Jane to be on the front foot and address our health before we get sick. Then we’ll start to see that true health stems from our moment to moment living not from a yearly appointment.
Clearly an infection is toxic for the body. The question may be how toxic? As toxic as a glass of beer? As toxic as a bottle of wine? As toxic as food poisoning? As toxic as living on a major road for years?
It might be that having an unnecessary infection can be as bad for the body as getting poisoned by another means – though an infection can also be a clearing for the body, unlike the toxins.