Seeing my Doctor is now Part of my Self-care

by HR Professional in Healthcare, London, UK 

Some years ago, I believed that getting ill was a sign of weakness, and that going to the doctor was not necessary.  I was strongly independent, and pushed hard to keep going, feeling that if I got ill, or used my local health services, that meant I had done something wrong, and that others might judge me.  I also went through a phase where I didn’t want to use any pharmaceutical medicines, as I wanted to avoid putting ‘toxins’ into my body.  There were times when I had an infection or an ache or a pain and I would struggle through, trying to find some natural remedy, which usually didn’t work.  I prided myself when I spoke to colleagues and friends that I rarely saw my doctor and, looking back this was rather odd, as I have worked in the National Health Service (NHS) for 33 years, in many forms of care environments, yet I never actually considered that I myself may need support or care from the NHS or my local doctor (General Practitioner /GP) at any time.

Thirteen years ago, I was very sick, with a number of illnesses – all of which I had consistently ignored until the day when I woke up and I couldn’t get out of bed.  I felt so ill that I realised that I had no option but to seek some form of support.  I didn’t want support from my local health services, and sought the support of a herbalist.  I realised I needed to get time off work as I could hardly sit, yet stand, so working was out of the question.  I went to my local doctor and asked for some sick leave, which she agreed to on the proviso I checked in with her fortnightly. She asked that I had some blood tests, but I refused all her offers except for the certificate to take time off work. Over a number of months of bed rest, and support from a herbalist I did actually improve, though looking back, I got back to a level of function, though I wasn’t really well, and I wasn’t able to get back to physical exercise for 2 years, and had to work part time for a year.  I still didn’t consult my doctor any further than getting a sick note.

A few years later I went to a workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, and for the first time in my life, I realised that there was something about the way I was living that was not at all right, but until that moment I hadn’t been willing to look at my own life and daily living choices.  I didn’t smoke, rarely drank alcohol, had never taken drugs, didn’t take pharmaceuticals, ate organic food, and was back to being fully functional. I had prided myself at being stoic, seemingly well, and so why would I need to look at my life, let alone the way I was living?  However, at this workshop, and a number of subsequent workshops presented by Serge Benhayon, I felt as though a mist was lifting and that I was starting to truly feel how un-well I actually was.  I could feel somewhere deep inside me that what Serge Benhayon was presenting, whether it was about considering food choices, or the natural rhythms of our body, (for example, going to bed by 9 pm) made sense. At the same time, I could also feel my own resistance to truly feeling how I was living, and, that the way I was living was running me ragged. Never once did Serge Benhayon tell me or anyone else to follow what he presented, he merely shared his own experiences, and it was always up to me to discern whether what he shared made sense or not.

One day, after having attended a number of workshops, I became aware of how constantly tired, depleted, and exhausted I was, how sad I felt, and, how I did actually have some health problems that I had just taken for granted, as ‘part of being human’, and I hadn’t ever wondered why those health problems consistently blighted my life. I had endometriosis (for 20 years), with excruciatingly painful periods, I had eczema, asthma, food allergies, regular bouts of rhinitis, and constipation to name a few, but I just managed them, struggled through and thought they were just part of ‘the deal’ of daily living.  So, on this particular day I asked myself – what if there was a different way of looking at this? What if there was more that I could do to support myself in my daily life?  That day I decided to have a go at looking at how I was living; after all, it couldn’t make my life any worse, and it may just support me if I took time to look at how I was caring for myself.  And that was a day that began to change my life.

From there on, I started bit by bit to look at how I was living, from my food choices, to whether I was adequately hydrated, to how much rest I allowed, to giving it a go to go to bed earlier, and to taking more care and attention in the way I planned and prepared for my busy working days.  Over a number of years, I started to feel different, and, what I would call ‘well’ for the first time that I could remember. My eczema, asthma, rhinitis dissipated, and I slowly started to feel less depleted. During this time I undertook a PhD study on self care at work (selfcare at work part 1 and part 2 ), as I also realised from observing my work colleagues, that I was not alone, and many others I worked with didn’t seem to pay attention to the way they lived or their daily work choices.  I also realised that some of the things that I changed, such as going to bed by 9 pm ( as I have written about on this blog) felt really natural, and that my body had always wanted me to go to bed at this time. It really was beneficial, and now I absolutely cherish going to bed by 9pm as a deeply self-caring way to live.

Some months ago, I was feeling tired, and for the first time in a long time I was drawn to go along to see my local doctor.  As I arrived at the surgery I could for the first time feel how supportive and self-caring it was to go to my doctor.  I spoke to her about my tiredness, that I was going into menopause, and that something just didn’t feel right in my body.  We agreed that I would have a whole battery of blood tests, and other tests, to get a fuller understanding of what was going on in my body.  The doctor was very supportive, and took time to organise these tests for me.  As I left the surgery I cried, as I realised how many times I had ignored my impulse to go to the doctor for support, and how going to my doctor is actually deeply self-regarding.  A week later my GP phoned me to tell me that there was something in my bloods and suggested a way forward, which again for the first time I agreed to proceed with (as I usually discounted much of what any doctors in the past had said to me). Actually I was relieved to realise that there had been something that needed my deeper attention and that with the help of the GP I was able to take care of it.  Some months later during a presentation at Universal Medicine I then realised that it is actually natural that the physical body does get sick, or does need medical attention, and, I could for myself feel just how normal that was – that at times, just as in my experience with my bloods, my body had got sick, and did need support, not just from me, but from others e.g. my doctor.

Where am I going to with this? I had a deeply ingrained view that medicine was for others, and that being ill was weak.  At the same time I didn’t really take care of myself on a daily basis in a way that supported my body.  Serge Benhayon by his presentations, but more so by the inspiration he offered in the way he lives, and in the way he is when he presents, offered me an opportunity to realise that I too could change the way I was living if I was prepared to take a look at my daily living choices.  In choosing to look at my daily living choices over a few years, I got to understand deeply how many things in life are self loving, and one of these was that it is actually deeply self caring to go to my doctor and get support when I need to, and, that getting sick was my body’s way of alerting me that something about the way I was living was not working.  The combined effects of attending Universal Medicine workshops, and, choosing to take care of myself on a daily basis enabled me to realise the importance of recognising when I was unwell, and also that asking my local GP for support was a very loving choice, and a natural part of taking care of myself.  During these last few months I also now enjoy my regular visits to my local dentist, the dental hygienist, as well as my local optician, and I can honestly say I feel very supported in my life.  Esoteric Medicine has a role to play in our health and wellbeing as does Western Medicine. Together as I am experiencing they are a very powerful combination.

 

412 thoughts on “Seeing my Doctor is now Part of my Self-care

  1. ‘Some years ago, I believed that getting ill was a sign of weakness, and that going to the doctor was not necessary. I was strongly independent, and pushed hard to keep going, feeling that if I got ill, or used my local health services, that meant I had done something wrong, and that others might judge me.’ So many of us feel or have felt like this, which sums up just how dominated we are by the consciousness of having to harden to overcome adversity, which is championed. We are taught very early to feel shame for feeling fragile or vulnerable, and yet when we harden we damage the relationship we have with ourselves as we become dishonest about how we are really feeling overriding what is there to be felt.

  2. Funny how seeing doctors can scare some of us witless, only when we face our fears and act when needed to can we truly heal.

  3. I resonated with some of the things presented in this blog. I would be reluctant to see the GP at first, then freak out afterwards and go when I wasn’t improving. I hadn’t seen that the way I was living would go hand in hand with my health, until I attended Serge Benhayon’s workshops, and my whole perspective on health changed.

    Every health professional specialist is part of self-care and I embrace this more and more. This is the future of our health and well-being.

  4. Talking with others I am aware that there are many people who don’t go to the doctors for fear of being a nuisance or wasting their time, what I can feel in this now is there is a lack of self love, self appreciation and self responsibility in such a choice.

    1. Totally agree with you Le. There’s also the other perspective too, where people indulge in visiting the GP, when they haven’t been responsible in the first place. Things pile up, wanting the doctors or health professionals to fix them after their ill choices too.

  5. What a turnaround from avoiding your GP like the plague to recognising how supportive they can be with exploring how best to support yourself through an illness. I used to boast that I never went to see a doctor (conveniently forgetting the times when I had been forced through their door in desperation) and yet took very little responsibility for looking after myself which is crazy when I would not dream of expecting my car or house to keep running without any maintenance.

  6. Doctors train long and hard to be able to support us when we are sick and part of the medicine is for us to present a body that is taking responsibility for our part in any healing.

  7. I used to feel I didn’t want to waste the doctor’s valuable time unless I was seriously ill, but this attitude was just a symptom of my complete lack of regard and care for myself. Part of caring for myself now means going to the doctor at the first sign of anything not right with my health.

    1. This is a great change Doug and one which is so important for us all. The second part is that we take the utmost responsibility for ourselves and our health away from the doctor so that when we do seek their help and support, we go there with a body ready for it.

  8. It’s crazy how most of us will wait weeks and months to see a doctor even when we know something is not right. Recently I was talking to some one close and dearly loved by me, who was refusing to go to the doctors. This kind of behaviour is often rooted in lack of self worth. We all deserve to be supported and cared deeply for. Our systems should be set up to reflect this.

  9. We often don’t make the correlation between our choices and our health, when we do we realise that we are able to help ourselves simply by changing our choices.

  10. I just came home from spending 2 weeks in England, attending Universal Medicine courses, feeling very tired and needing lots of sleep. Reading this blog, I am realising how ‘being well’ is never an arrived at point, there is a relationship that is constantly changing therefore can never be taken for granted. It is a dialogue, and my body needs to be cared for deeply, constantly – not because I may not be feeling well, but because that is what it deserves by default.

    1. Our body is constantly communicating with us and once we become willing to listen it is a relationship that can deepen and blossom with no judgement if we go through phases of e.g. needing more sleep/rest.

  11. That ‘get on with it and things will sort themselves out’ is not from my experience the best approach to our health. What I have come to appreciate and understand is that once you know what is going on with your body you are then in the position to make different choices that are going to support this. Western medicine is greatly supportive and to look at the root cause supports a true healing.

    1. I had a dear friend who died a while back from a brain tumour that he had been suffering with hugely for over a year and never once did he bother the doctor. By the time he felt he could put it off no longer, there was nothing that the doctors could do for him. We need to love ourselves enough that we feel we are worth some of the doctors time.

  12. When we start to look at self care, and what we can do to help ourselves, a visit to the doctor’s begins to feel like a very obvious choice, because when we don’t feel well there is absolutely no point trying to struggle on, because when we do we are a long way from self care, almost neglecting ourselves for other things that we consider more important when our own health is one of the most important things.

  13. I visit the doctor regularly – for blood tests, for diagnosis and for referrals to consultant specialists if necessary. He knows I don’t like taking medicines unless absolutely necessary and he recommends but doesn’t insist – he knows I’ll go away and do some research on any options for new medication. He also know that I live a reasonably healthy lifestyle and is very encouraging. Self care and medicine go very well together.

  14. It makes complete sense to make seeing our doctor part of the way that we honour, care for and cherish ourselves.

  15. Seeing getting ill as being a failure only sets us up for more unloving thoughts about ourselves. I also saw getting ill as a weakness so I used to hide how ill I felt and pretend that I was not struggling. Getting ill was for those who did not have a handle on life and I told myself that I knew better – I can now feel the arrogance of that way of thinking.

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