by Carmel Reid, Somerset, UK
I recently had a hysterectomy; it was the final solution for a vaginal prolapse that had been around for many years, although I had largely been unaware of, until it became too uncomfortable to ignore.
What is a prolapse? Well basically, a weakness in my pelvic floor muscles and vaginal wall, so that what is normally held inside is no longer supported, and begins to protrude on the outside, making walking uncomfortable.
What caused it in me? Many reasons, I suspect. Giving birth is acknowledged as a common one, and new mothers are always encouraged to do their pelvic floor exercises afterwards. I didn’t, so that may have contributed in my case. Add to that was my attitude to what I felt my body could do. I played squash 2 or 3 times a week; that’s a game that can be pretty hard on many areas of the body. Not only that, but I was strong and therefore allowed myself to lift heavy things, and enjoyed the weekly battle with a wayward shopping trolley and all the heavy shopping, not knowing how much lifting heavy things was affecting my pelvic floor muscles.
The prolapse manifested in a big way recently, when I was doing two things: working in a busy café on my feet all day walking about with heavy trays, pushing/pulling trolleys full of used crockery and washing up with a huge pull down dishwasher hood. Outside of work I was packing up my house ready for a move abroad, with boxes weighing up to 20kgs. All because I could.
One evening in the shower I noticed a bulge in my genital area where there should have been an opening, something was sticking out of my vagina and this then happened whenever I spent a day on my feet. Afraid of getting an infection through having what should be inside on the outside, I went to my local GP Surgery.
I was told it was a prolapse and I was given pelvic floor exercises to do and told to come back in three months – they would only operate if it was really uncomfortable. I went back a week later, unsure of the effectiveness of pelvic floor exercises in curing the problem and was assured it would be fine.
Conscious of the increasing discomfort and aware of my upcoming travel plans, I called the Doctor’s secretary and asked if I could be referred to a gynaecologist for further advice as soon as possible. They said it would be weeks before I got an appointment, beyond the date I’d planned to leave, so they suggested: What about going private?
Fortunately I had enough funds so I looked up the local private hospital and made an appointment for two weeks’ time. In the meantime I looked up on the Internet about prolapse and possible treatments, which included pessary rings or surgery. In view of the fact I was travelling to start a new relationship, I didn’t feel a ring would be the solution, so I looked at surgical options. They mentioned repairs including using gauze, but these could be complicated by infections so that was out. They also mentioned hysterectomy as another solution, so that got me thinking and aware of that as a possibility.
When I finally met the consultant, he said it was the front wall of my vagina that was weak and that it was the bladder pushing through. This made sense to me and fitted in with what I felt in my body. He also said that once in the operating theatre, if they found a repair wasn’t possible they might need to do a hysterectomy and asked if I would consent to that, which I did. I was a given a date for surgery in two weeks, with a six week recovery time.
I cancelled my flight and left my travel plans open for a later time. I was disappointed, but felt this was important enough to deal with urgently.
In the meantime, aware that nothing happens in our bodies for no reason, I sought advice from Serge Benhayon, asking for a reading on what the prolapse meant. I already knew what had caused it and he agreed, adding that it was me not in my full expression, in fact pushing against being who I naturally am and he also said that it was showing me to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’
That made sense, I have always seen myself as a ‘person’ and ignored the feminine side, and in truth in recent years had largely been numb to what went on in my pelvic region apart from the bodily functions of going to the toilet. This was calling me to feel my uterus and cervix and vagina. I had been doing some Sacred Movement exercises, but still resisted feeling my sacredness as a woman, so this was all a huge wake up call.
Keen to make the best use of the healing offered to me, I spent the time before the operation preparing my body by eating well, doing the pelvic floor exercises and generally resting. I had already given up work, so there was no more need to be on my feet all day. The boxes were all packed and stored ready for shipping, so I did no more heavy lifting. I came down with a cold and the operation was delayed one more week, and that gave me more time to rest and prepare.
I had asked Serge Benhayon for support during the operation and I found that just before going down to the operating theatre I felt an amazing stillness and felt Serge would be saying, ‘Enjoy it,’ so I relaxed and surrendered to the procedure. The staff were amazing, the anaesthetist who already knew of my anxiousness was so sweet, caring and supportive that I drifted off with no qualms and woke after it was all over to find myself in pain, like a bad period pain. They took a long time and care to get the pain management right, but we got there in the end.
I was a bit woozy for the next 24 hours. I’d been eating a pretty light diet and had no medication other than warfarin for years, so my body was a bit in shock from the procedure and the drugs, but the staff were very understanding and supportive. I didn’t eat for 24 hours, just drank water, but, once I had vomited up whatever my body needed to eliminate, I was fine. I was blown away by the chef who followed my requests exactly, providing me with simple dishes of fish, green beans, avocado and salad. No sweets. It meant that I was eating food that supported my body with no resulting bloating or raciness.
I was in hospital only three nights and came home to my housemates who were incredibly supportive. We had already agreed a kitchen plan where things were at an accessible height for me, as I was not to lift or push anything heavy (a half filled kettle was ok), and to avoid bending too low. They also arranged a daily visitor from our local community of friends who would come in and cook me lunch.
I have used the time recuperating to really listen to my body, to rest and not override anything it tells me. The hospital have encouraged me to be up and about as much as possible, building up walking from five minutes a day, and I’ve been doing that, walking further each time. I’ve been doing gentle leg and arm exercises too, to keep my muscles in trim – nothing heavy, just gentle movements. And I’ve been doing the pelvic floor exercises.
A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being. My whole life has been based on recognition for my intelligence and ability to organise, co-ordinate, be efficient, do lots of different things, and here I was, on a six-week recuperation program with nothing to do except look after my body; what a challenge! I’ve let go of the push on many fronts, I am learning to honour what my body feels, I am learning to be more aware of what I feel, I am incredibly sensitive and can feel changes in energy. In the past I would eat to numb anything that felt uncomfortable, especially as I felt what others were feeling, which was often distressing. Because I am honouring my body in this way, not pushing to do any more than feels ok to do, I am healing very well. The pain stopped very early on, so I am no longer on a regime of pain management; I’m back on Warfarin as before, but my vitality is good, considering I have just been through a major operation.
Natalie Benhayon also gave me a reading in reassuring me that although my uterus and cervix are no longer there physically… ‘Yes they are there energetically — it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ That said it all really.
For me this has been a big healing: the medical profession have done a superb job in handling the physical side, and my approach to the psychological side has enabled me to not only cope with losing my womb and cervix (I still have my ovaries), but celebrate the opportunity to connect with myself as a woman more deeply. I have also had support with treatments of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and Chakra-puncture. I lost a bit of weight but that’s steady now, as I have been eating nourishing meals with protein and vegetables three times a day and the walking is rebuilding my leg muscle strength.
This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors. By taking care of myself I am making the most of the healing opportunity on offer. By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body, which will stand me in good stead in the future. After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.
A huge thank you to the staff at the BMI Bath Clinic, the Anaesthetist, the Consultant Gynaecologist, to Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and all the students of Universal Medicine who have supported me through this opportunity to learn, heal and deepen my connection to myself as a woman.
`Read more:
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
I’ve never had surgery (yet, never know) but I know that how I live will be there to support me should I ever need to. Whereas a few years ago I probably would be bricking it having no foundation of self-care or support for myself, let alone accepting it from others.
Carmel, this is truly an inspiring read. Everything was organised to support you and your body. The nurturing that took place by the community during your recovery was remarkable, and what most people need during such surgeries.
There is much to ponder over with our reproductive systems and how we disregard them. I can relate to going into hardness and participating in sports that brings this hardness into our bodies, instead of the tenderness we inherently from.
Reconnecting to the beacon of our sacredness lies within these areas of our body and needs such tender loving care throughout our lives, not just when it falls apart. You have offered something for all women to consider.
‘…it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ There is a beautiful beholding power in these words that can be applied to us all.
The more we listen to our body the more it communicates and we have the opportunity to build a loving foundation that will support us in our daily lives.
I agree – it’s absolutely fantastic to know that there are all kinds of support available, but the most powerful of it all is the part we ourselves play. Our Livingness is an amazing resource for our healing.
Fumiyo, I agree the support that the body needs and will respond to the most is the one that comes from within itself. All our healing is dependent upon us foremost and committing to it, and then we go to our resources to support the rest, it is that simple.
It may sound strange but your blog reminded me of the times I was unwell and reconnected deeply to my body in bedrest and honoured its communications by taking more care of myself. Reading your story I realised how much I miss the depth of that connection with my body, it is kind of like being with a long lost friend, there is a warmth and a working together, instead of being out of myself disconnected in my mind.
I love reading how there was help available on your return from the hospital. What a huge support it is to have our friends and relatives help in these times of need.
This shows that we don’t really get away with anything….nothing at all. How we are with ourselves has an effect on the body. And it is our choice as to what effect that is.
It’s astonishing what can happen to the body when we live less than our full expression. So, that said what is the full extent of women’s health in today’s society.
“….it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” What a powerful sentence this is Carmel, for all of us, both men and women. Knowing and accepting our own self worth and value is an absolute game changer, and a crucial part of our true healing.
Yes it is deeply healing when we honour our inner knowing of the our own value and live from this new understanding of all that we are before we do anything.
True what you say Carmel ‘our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ And what it is to live well is to feel what your body is communicating and listen to this signals in a selfloving way.
How often do we take into consideration that resting and releasing the tensions in our body is the responsible way we can prepare for an operation?
Wow, this just goes to show that how we live as women impacts on our health and when you think about the level of self-loathing and lack of self-worth there is these days, it makes sense that women’s conditions are only going to get worse.
“This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors.” So true Carmel and your experience is a powerful reminder to honour the woman I am.
I am so inspired by your resourcefulness, Carmel. Being open, and asking for and allowing support to be a part of your healing process is such a beautiful thing.
On the one hand this blog is very simple about a personal experience of an operation. On the other hand it shows how to maximise the medical work in terms of healing outcome, something worth exploring.
Wisdom for all is shared here in this blog Carmel. Thank you.
Beautiful to read your preparation before your operation and how you knew not to leave it several weeks before following up with your GP, we always have an inner knowing when things are important – and how lovely that you came to understand that appreciating yourself as a woman was key to your healing and future livingness.
We as women can see how far away we are from knowing ourselves as women by the sheer numbers of female issues there are that do and do not require medical attention.
I love how open you share about this event in your life with all the aspects that are relevant to it. When our body gives us a signal so loud and clear it is really worth stopping and feeling what is actually going on. Beautiful how you got called to feel your whole sacred area more and connect to this part of your body.
I love the care and love you offered and gave yourself throughout the whole process and the acceptance of support from others .. so important. I have just started doing pelvic floor exercises and can feel how important they are in supporting the reconnection to this area of the body which I would say we normally just completely ignore!
Such an honest, frank and open sharing.. I had no idea what these medical conditions were or how they might feel before reading this. Our bodies so masterfully show us exactly how to take care of them, and so what to value in life – that taking care of the quality of our being always has to come first, because it sets the foundation for the quality of whatever we do after that.
“I resisted feeling my sacredness as a woman, so this was all a huge wake up call.” Thank you for sharing this as I feel it is a wake up call for all of us women to live in our sacredness.
Appreciating ourselves as women allows us to feel our fragility, to be who we truly are, and to love our preciousness.
My body has never enjoyed the heavy lifting/pushing/manoeuvring and yet I still do it from time to time, same with multitasking I get all confused in a bid to be ‘efficient’. There are so many things that my body does say “Please don’t do that” and reading this again brings me back to basics in that – rather than just pushing through regardless, what if I voiced, even if to myself, how these activities make me feel?
The ‘efficiency game’ is inefficient in the long run.
I am learning that, although I have made many changes in the way I am living, it is not enough – the prolapse returning is telling me that in truth I haven’t changed a thing, which is disappointing but helpful in that I need to go deeper into appreciating myself as a woman and recognising my absolute fragility.
It’s so important to look after ourselves and that means for us older ladies to seek help when we need something heavy carried. Some of my work is quite physical and entails taking bags of clothing and fabric up and down stairs. I used to carry all the bags regardless of their heaviness and felt encouraged when others commented on my strength and fitness. I still carry bags up and down stairs but I am more discerning now and if they are heavy or awkward and especially if I am feeling tired or under the weather I will purloin the help of someone younger and with more muscle power and usually a man. Sometimes I split the contents into two bags if there is no such help around and that way my female colleagues and I can enjoy our task without compromising our health.
Well said, Elaine, it is very tempting to think we are strong and can do everything and that independent streak is not good for our health. When we remember just how delicate and precious we truly are, and how fragile our bodies are, then it becomes easier to ask for help or to carry less.
Feeling that the prolapse was returning I sought the help of a physiotherapist who enabled me to feel just how much tension I was living with in my pelvic area, so much so that when I did any pelvic floor exercises I was adding tension to tension. So now I am working more on simply connecting within, tenderly allowing myself to relax and feel, reconnecting with my sacredness.
Carmel, it is very interesting to know what works – more effort can be detrimental at times.
We do know when something changes in our bodies even on a very subtle level, but how many times do we choose to ignore it? It would be very interesting to see how the statistics about health would change if we were to get ourselves checked out at the first sign of a physical change, and how much this would prevent conditions becoming more serious and therefore requiring less medical intervention.
As we refine our ways of living, our bodies become more and more sensitive, which is great because we can feel more but what was OK for our bodies say 5 years ago is ultra heavy for our bodies now. Where I live there are some steep hills and walking the dog I found I have been walking rather hard. More recently I’ve been choosing routes with fewer hills so I can be a bit more gentle.
I can relate to this Carmel, some things that used to be fine for me to lift or carry are not in line with what my body is communicating today.
For most people as you say Carmel the point of redefining our identity comes in crisis… Imagine being offered the opportunity to, when in the best so to speak of health, understand who we truly are and what is there to be felt within us.
I’ve recently been ill with the flu, bronchitis and sinus and the level of stillness in my body while recuperating was exquisite, and yet now that I am recovered, I can feel the wanting to eat, over stimulate the body and the hardness. All the while I was ill there was a feeling of delicateness that I have not experienced for a long time – definitely a new marker.
I am amazed and inspired by your resourcefulness here you share with us, Carmel. It’s wonderful to have friends around and afar that can truly support.
So true Carmel, we do not have to leave it all to the doctors.
Beautiful to read about the support you had in hospital, and for when you came out, things in the shared kitchen being easy to reach and having support from the local community too.
As women, we make it often about what we do and find it much more easy to do a lot and feel good about that than to just be and feel good about ourselves way before we do something. But it is the most gorgeous feeling to have, to just feel you are gorgeous because of you!
I feel you are not alone in not being able to feel what is going on with the female parts of the body. I know for myself I had little awareness of my body as a whole, as long as I wasn’t ill or in pain then I was fine. We are not taught to honour and cherish our body and so it takes time to re-connect to our body and feel what is going on. I know when I do I have a much greater awareness of how I treat my body and am able to learn so much more about myself.
Knowing our worth before we do anything is wonderful medicine.
Maybe even the best medicine around…
A timely reminder for me to be more conscious of the need for pelvic floor exercises and not lifting those heavy items that we get used to doing as women and instead asking for and accepting help when offered.
It is now just over a year since I had the operation and what I have found is that it is very easy to slip back into old patterns of behaviour such as pushing a heavy wheelbarrow up the garden. What I have found myself doing though is walking more often and carrying less load. I am walking more gently generally and feel it as soon as I walk in a hard way. I stopped doing the pelvic floor exercises but had signs of a further prolapse so have returned to doing them. It goes to show we can’t just depend on Doctors to fix us up, we have to look after our bodies all the time, 24/7.
Thank you for sharing that Carmel, it’s such a great reminder to not drop being attentive to our body just because we are doing better.
Yep this is so true and what I can really relate to with this is doing things to support me and my body and then letting them fall by the wayside. Self-love and consistency is the key (doing things because we feel and know they truly support us not because we ‘think’ we should do).
I agree, I have been ill this week and I am starting to feel better today. The interesting thing is that I notice a change straight away. There are more tensions and I want to eat more even though I am not hungry, I am a lot on facebook and get lost whilst clicking on things. This really shows me that I learned more loving choices when I was ill but that it is up to me to keep making these and not just expect it to happen naturally.
Carmel it’s lovely to read how you surrendered to the support of the hospital staff, your house mates and community of friends breaking the pattern of striving and driving to do it all yourself, truly taking care of yourself by being taken care of and allowing your vulnerability.
” This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors. ” This is so true Carmel and doing this comes to a healing of the illness, thank you for sharing.
We cannot just leave things to the medical profession, we as consumers of health have to take responsibility for our health and work in collaboration with doctors and other health professionals.
“I have used the time recuperating to really listen to my body, to rest and not override anything it tells me..” wouldn’t it be great if we did this all the time? Our body speaks to us continually, telling us we are tired or thirsty etc. How often do we listen and then act appropriately? After all “the body is the marker of all truth” – Serge Benhayon.
Beautiful Carmel. Surgery and other conventional medical treatments are vital in the process of our physically healing but it is our own commitment to self-care in preparation before and after these treatments and our compliancy with the follow up medical care and advice that really brings our healing process alive.
‘it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ This doing to be recognised whether we are are aware of it or not is what drives us a lot of the time, even if the recognition is just from ourselves for ourselves. Great to give ourselves permission to drop all that and become more honest and let our inner qualities shine.
A living testimony that even in what would seem the most extreme circumstances, we can learn, we can know, and we can grow.
What a brilliant combination of conventional medicine, esoteric medicine and a personal commitment to heal, the appreciation and complete lack of blame and judgement you write with is incredibly inspiring.
Thanks for sharing. I will be having an operation for a prolapse/& hysterectomy at the beginning of next year. I was however aware of what I had (since the birth of my daughter nearly 15yrs ago). It took
the NHS as long to acknowledge this. Really worried about it though, but your story helps to instill confidence in me. Thanks 😊
Hi Steph JS, the support from esoteric therapy practitioners was a great help too, especially Connective Tissue and Chakra Puncture. I had an organised team of supporters from my community of friends with one visitor each day and a daily lunch date for two weeks as someone came to help me cook lunch. There is a lot we can do to help ourselves – even the chef in the hospital was able to provide me with nourishing meals and no unwanted gluten dairy or sugar.
We need acceptance to surrender, and this is what I see in your experience, Carmel. An opportunity to let go any picture and deeply embrace the woman you truly are. Thank you for the openness in your sharing
A fascinating read exposing the power of our choices to live or deny our innate expression. How gorgeous however that with the wisdom you were afforded that you were able to support your medical procedures with truly taking care of yourself and honouring your physical body along with connecting to and embracing yourself as a woman. A reflection that is much needed in the world.
Wow Carmel, you are so brave and honest. I must admit, I did start doing pelvic floor exercises whilst I was reading because I realised that I never did them when I was advised by my Doctor all those years ago either, well not consistently anyway. I also have paid little attention to the fact that I am woman in my lifetime, preferring to see myself as a person, in fact the amount I related to this blog was scary! I am also in hospitality and spend an about 9 hours a day on my feet on concrete floor. Although I have no physical symptoms, I feel I have run the same energetic program as you, this blog has changed my life. As it gives me the chance to arrest my behaviors now. I don’t think I will ever try manage all of the shopping on my own again or carry extra plates to be faster at work, thank you, thank you, a million times over thank you.
Hi Sarah, thank you for sharing your story too, yes concrete floors are not great for being on your feet all day, comfortable and supportive shoes are a must. As for shopping, I often get a small trolley – small because I don’t have to bend so far down to empty it and a trolley rather than a basket because then I don’t have to carry a weight all around the shop. You mentioned the pelvic floor exercises – I have found that doing them once every few days is already making a difference, and that inspires me to do them every day – I’m still not consistent, but my body is encouraging me with its response.
Carmel thank you for sharing your experience, and the reminder that we are able to support ourselves and the use of Western Medicine simply by make more loving choices that support our physical body, the benefits of which have been lovingly presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Yes this is true, Linda, I am still learning what I can do and what I should not do, and I tire easily. I recently helped a friend who was in hospital and it was wonderful to see the care he took of himself while in there (with a few supportive meals from outside) and afterwards in terms of going at his pace, not overdoing anything. We can keep ourselves out of hospital when we take care, and we can avoid symptoms recurring by being more tender with our bodies.
‘Knowing your worth and value before anything you do’. That sounds like the key to life, especially as a modern woman.
I too had some surgery this year, and like you I took the time to take care of the physical (absolutely) and I also took the time to look at what else was going on to cause the symptoms, on an energetic sense. In my case, I could see how hard I had been on myself and not living the sensitive and delicate woman that I am. I love how our bodies share so much wisdom with them.
True healing always starts with re-building our connection and relationship with ourselves
To really honour what we are feeling and to act on it is a very self-loving thing.
What a beautiful sharing Carmel. I love the way you deeply honoured yourself through the whole process, the responsibility you took and the choices you made.
This blog is so supportive and encouraging of women who are inspired to learn, heal and deepen their connection to themselves as women; me being one, thank you.
‘After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ and how empowering it is to know that our health is in our hands… and our choices.
Carmel, thank you for this. What a great way to approach surgery. Imagine what would happen if more people would take as much responsibility as you did for your health. We would have a very different health service.
“This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors.” This is a very important point. One we all need to ponder deeply on and begin the process of taking responsibility for the part we play in illness and in healing.
Yes, Leigh, we are all aware of just how stressed the medical profession are and much of their caseload could be reduced by us patients taking more care of ourselves in the first place. It is irresponsible to assume our bodies can take such abuse and that a few pills and the medical profession can fix everything afterwards – like Type 2 diabetics drinking beer and taking Metformin, when exercise and no beer could considerably reduce their blood sugar.
It is mentioned in this blog about how we ‘push against who we naturally are’.
This is an awareness that can change the way of our world. The question is, what do we push against, hold at bay and at times down right ignore? Our divineness, our grace, our glory. All qualities, that once lived completely change every interaction we have, every move we make and every choice as to what we use our bodies for.
Carmel your approach of supporting surgery and maximising your opportunity to heal is one which we can all learn from. I’m sure you have inspired everyone you have been in contact with throughout this process. It would absolutely change how medicine is viewed and practised if we were all to take such a responsible and active part in our healing process.
What is so beautiful, Lucy, is that some of the medical professionals who supported me appreciated how I have helped the healing process with my lifestyle choices and said they would share it with their patients.
How wonderful Carmel. Simply by living what we know is true for us is all it takes to inspire another in any walk of life, which clearly shows that when we know this, the responsibility we all have to live it all the time.
Pelvic Floor exercise is something we all know about but often not in any depth or detail. I recently had the experience of a physiotherapist who conducted an internal examination whilst inviting me to move certain groups of muscles, and that showed me the individual deeper muscles that are weak, some of which I had no idea at first how to move. She was very gentle and it was a beautiful education in exercises I can do to support myself internally.
‘It is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ What great advice. This is something I am working on myself and continually being shown that I want to do in order to satisfy a deep lying agenda that actually has no true merit but keeps me in the illusion that I am ‘making’ it in the world and in relationships.
Elaine, I have found this aspect of life particularly challenging to learn because my whole life I have been identified with activity, my self esteem has been based on feeling useful, helping others. Now, in a different country, in a new relationship, I am on a visa that does not allow me to do any paid work, I am in a relationship that is requiring me to spend time with my new partner (not something that happened a lot in my previous life) and I am feeling that I’m not doing enough and feeling ‘bad’ as a result. What I have to appreciate is the quality I am bringing to everyone I meet, whether it is in the supermarket or my partner, and to value that I am being given this grace time to feel my body, and develop a more tender way of being. The prolapse is continuing to develop despite the hysterectomy so that is telling me I need to take more care and to stop pushing myself to do more.
Carmel, thank you for sharing this.
I too found the line about Serge’s feedback as important “I already knew what had caused it and he agreed, adding that it was me not in my full expression, in fact pushing against being who I naturally am and he also said that it was showing me to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’ This pattern of pushing against who I naturally am I have been running with also. It makes me wonder how many of us are / have been and for example in my workplace what I have perceived others to be based on their behaviours and actions is not always a true reflection of them and how badly needed the full endorsement of being a woman and embracing our beauty from within is, without any need to overextend or compromise ourselves.
This week I have had a cold and struggled to simply surrender and rest and be without judging myself for not getting things done. It has been very revealing indeed for how much deeper I need to go with myself, and the importance of building a stronger commitment to walking, pelvic floor and strength based exercise.
Your blog also is a call for me to begin writing some of my own experience, observing that what we are learning in life, and the rich wisdom we receive – whether it be through Serge, Natalie, Universal Medicine, other practitioners or people in our life or from ourselves in connection – this is for everyone.
Hi Susan, yes, please do write, the world needs to hear from all of us who have learned a different way of being. As for us being in our full expression, I have been learning recently how confused other people are when we do not express ourselves in full – we feel energy all of the time and other people are reading us – what we express may be different from what we actually feel and others can feel the disparity, we are sending out mixed messages, because our body says one thing, our mouths say another. Examples are, ‘I’m fine’ ‘Yes, that’s OK’ and ‘Yes, of course I will’.
As I read what Serge Benhayon shared with you “‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’” I could feel that this was a message for me and many other women as well; I could feel it resonate throughout my body with the realisation that there is still so much more for me to embrace and appreciate as a woman. How many of us really know what it is to be a true woman and how to live this? Natalie Benhayon has been a very bright shining light getting this message out to women of all ages and as a result all around me I can see women who used to have no idea of the beautiful beings that they naturally are beginning to shine their own unique light in this world.
You took the option of addressing what was going on Carmel, rather than trying to slip a ring on to distract yourself. What beautiful role modelling of pulling out all stops to going deeper and embracing yourself as a woman.
Thanks Carmel, it’s quite a journey to reconnect to who we are as women and to our bodies, and to how that then translates into how we would interact with the world. In Australia being tough is really valued, even towards women there can be a dismissive or demeaning attitude for being openly fragile and delicate. I’m not sure how toughness got equated with strength since we override how we truly feel, when I feel it takes more strength to be honest about how we feel and openly share who we truly are. Being tough also means completely ignoring the body and being rough with it, when we would never act tough and use that as an excuse to do the same thing to our cars. I find that when I examine what’s normal it often makes no sense at all. If we took the time to really consider things we would uncover the huge faults inherent in such ways of being and discard them. As a society we go along with things instead of deeply examining and questioning what’s “normal”.
And I am discovering, Melinda, that even the way we walk about can be with a ‘tough’ attitude. I am learning a whole new way of walking because my body is now reflecting back to me if I go at all hard.
What an experience Carmel and undertaking, your body clearly was making some enormous shifts, which you so lovingly just went with. No judgement, no critique, just seeing what was occurring and allowing yourself to feel what it was that needed to be felt and cleared. Very amazing.
It is still a bit tricky to see what is happening and not to judge myself, but to accept it is the result of choices I’ve been making for centuries probably. Nothing can be fixed in five minutes or even this lifetime, but I can make sure it doesn’t happen in the next one by how I choose to live from here on.
This is a very beautiful blog Carmel and a reminder about my worth as a woman that I will embrace deeply. I too ‘sort of’ valued myself as a human being, but never as a woman. Although I didn’t hate being a woman, I didn’t ever regard it as being something precious and dare I say…sacred. I have been on a slow path of restoring my womanliness as the centrepiece of my life, but I have been very slow indeed, and I have been too eager to push it aside when life gets challenging.
You have reminded me that there is no slow path. To value myself, as a woman, cannot be delayed without me paying the price in my physical health.
I value deeply the reading given by Natalie “…it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” This I will borrow and work on for myself from this point forward.
Thank you for your comment, Rachel, I didn’t know you in your previous life, but what I know of you now is as an inspiring and beautiful woman, and I like the way you say ‘there is no slow path’ because we do tend to put things off. I’ve been happily trundling along thinking all is well after the hysterectomy when the prolapse situation has continued to worsen. All is definitely not well as my body is still clearing my old way of being. I am now living in a different country, in a beautiful relationship with a man I love very deeply, and my whole identity is changing as I let go of the push and drive that has been with me for years. I am still struggling with the ‘must do’ instead of surrendering, and my Soul, through my body, is steadily showing me The Way.
Accepting ourselves as women first and foremost is not something most of us consider. When I was young it was not encouraged and there were no true role models to get a reflection from, so being very active and always doing something was my distraction from looking at what was innately within me. Sacredness is in all women and when we connect to this, we get a greater understanding of what it means to be a woman and connect to a delicate gentle and loving way of being.
Sacredness is innate in all of us women – yes, this is still something I need to connect with at a deeper level – sometimes I feel a beautiful stillness, and I am certainly living with acceptance of vulnerability, and as for being more loving – I am looking at changing my self criticism to be an attitude of understanding – understanding why am I resisting surrendering to what is already within, surrendering to my body more deeply.
Great point Carmel, if we can bring understanding to why we resist wanting to surrender, then rather than the self bashing that is often the first place we go to, we can look at what is causing us to resist. I have found that first I have to accept that sacredness is a possibility and the only thing that is between me and sacredness is my willingness to go there or not.
That is a good point you make there, Alison, accepting first of all that the sacredness is a possibility. The unwillingness to go there is interesting, it feels like a deliberate configuration in my body that takes me into my head and it’s not something to over-analyse – it’s as if I have created an image of what sacredness might be and am looking for that rather than allowing myself to feel the quality that is naturally within.
I love how my body shows me my choices and guides me to make different ones, my appreciation ever growing and with this does the loving kindness to my body.
Rallying around when one of us is in need selflessly was once something that just part of being human! We have lost our way a bit, but it is still alive, and well in all of us, all that is required is, choose to let it out and serve once again.
Thank you for this super honest sharing Carmel. I understand how we are selling ourselves short by not embracing our true sacredness, and thereby selling the world short as we live so much less than who we truly are.
The word ‘sacred’ is one I still have difficulty with, possibly from its abuse in the Catholic religion I was brought up with, so I still have difficulty applying it to me, and therefore am not fully honouring it within myself. I know I am still living with a bit of push and drive, and need to surrender more to simply being the woman I am.
Yes the truth of the word sacred has been deliberately obscured under the many corrupted versions in some religions and the new age, but we nevertheless all hold the truth of it deep within. The corruption is to stop us from connecting, living and moving in this multi-dimensionality – the truth of where we are from.
“By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body, which will stand me in good stead in the future. After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.” Such simple but profound advice Carmel. If we dont feed, water and tend to a plant it will not grow and flourish, just as our bodies will not thrive if we neglect to take true care of them.
Yes, Sandra, and the level of care I need to take is being shown to me this week, as I feel I may have overdone it and caused another prolapse, so my anxiety levels have gone through the roof.
It’s great to hear how you were supported by your housemates and friends coming round to cook lunch – often I think we can go into the thinking that we have to get through something alone or without being a ‘bother’ to others rather than opening up to the love and support that may be needed and on offer.
What an amazing testament to the magic that happens when we listen to our body and let go of our old values and briefs that no longer support us.
Well I wanted to say thank you to you Carmel, your blog has supported me through a bit of a change from seeing myself as a doer to a be-er! ‘A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.’ what a simple transition when we don’t fight it!
Hi Lucy, yes, this is still very much a work in progress for me as I uncover deeper levels of identity and how much importance I place on things I think I have to do instead of focusing on the quality of my being. There is this constant anxiety not to be labelled ‘lazy’, feeling that I have to ‘get up off my bottom and do something’ Anything, it doesn’t matter what, and that’s just me not being still enough to feel what actually needs to be done, and I need to be still inside before I do anything, take my time to feel me before I launch myself into any activity.
Yes, I can really relate to that. I have had enforced bedrest recently and had no idea how much would come up – it was a bit ugly! but you know what, such a gift because otherwise I would still be caught in that world of choosing not to be aware of the pattern. I know there is so much more to go but your blog has really helped me.
Carmel it was beautiful to read about the care you have taken and the healing you received through your growing commitment to yourself, very inspiring. This part of one of your sentences, a message from Natalie Benhayon, stood out ” it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” It struck a chord with me and I will take it with me as I go out into my day.
What you have shared here Carmel is the stupendous healing that is possible through our own commitment to understand and heal along with the support of conventional medicine and the esoteric modalities. I too have experienced surgery to be a deep deep healing – not the projected trauma I was expecting, but profoundly joyful and enlightening thanks to the powerful support of Serge Benhayon.
I so agree with you Carmel when you say lifting heavy things affects our pelvic floor. Last night I lifted a heavy suit case and instantly my right ovary started hurting. It was a great message and I took quite a bit out of the suit case knowing that I would have to lift it again at some stage in my travel.
Yes, suitcases is an interesting one – I packed my boxes for shipment to Australia to a weight of around 20Kg knowing that I could lift a 20Kg suitcase, but after my operation I didn’t touch the boxes again, and had the shipping company repack and move them around. So when I travelled to Australia myself, my daughter helped me pack, assisted me at the airport and then at the baggage carousel in Brisbane, I just asked the nearest man if he could help me, and it was lovely how they were willing to help. I was met at the airport, so that was fine. I had actually split it into two suitcases of 15Kg each, but that weight is still too much for me to lift. My shipped boxes will be delivered in the next two weeks so I will have to take care how I handle them, and then when we move into our house, perhaps we can book two men and a van to support the journey and the lifting. I lifted some boxes the other day and could feel what it was doing inside. I have to take more care.
Lifting heavy objects can have an enormous impact on any area of the body. Strange as it may seem, when I lift something that is too heavy for me, I can feel a tension in my throat…! The whole body literally speaks to us when we push it beyond it’s capability and consequently put it under undue pressure.
Carmel, the care you have taken with yourself throughout this process is mind blowing. What a glorious opportunity for you to really learn to cherish and love your body.
This is a great sharing for all women as it raises awareness about the importance of honouring and self care in women’s health.
How lovely to read of a whole community supporting someone in hospital, and to feel the appreciation of this journey when the doorway of energetic responsibility is opened as well.
What you have brought to your healing experience are life skills that will support you long after this crisis or experience. You are with you 24 hours a day the doctor is sometimes with you once in a few weeks. It is so obvious when you look at it like that to see where the bulk of responsibility for our health and wellness lies.
After reading this, it makes me want to start doing the pelvic floor exercises to make sure things like my bladder do not go south, especially as I am on my feet most of the day at work. Thank you for being so frank and open about your experience, as this I am sure will help many other women.
Our body gives us constant messages. If we listen and adapt our behaviours it really appreciates this. I too had surgery nearly two years ago and when I find myself overdoing it, my body let’s me know. As you say Carmel, a great reminder to be more gentle with myself.
What has been so lovely about this process is that the lessons go on and on, every now and then I find myself going back into old patterns of pushing and being hard and my body just gives a physical ‘Hey!’ and that reminds me to be more gentle with myself.
How brilliant is this! It shows how the body has an intelligence that communicates very clearly and that it is naturally pulled towards evolution.
How inspiring to read that you cancelled your flight and put your body first as so many people would not do that. When we support ourselves like that true healing can and does occur.
How profoundly beautiful Carmel, “it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’” Having an operation that removes your uterus and cervix for a woman can be very traumatic, but what you have expressed is a process of claiming yourself more as a woman, which is unheard of in this day and age. Learning to know your worth through such a process is deeply amazing and should be on the front page of every news paper!!! Here’s hoping one day, these are the note worthy stories we will report on.
An amazing and inspiring read Carmel for all women to take care support and listen to our bodies surrendering to our inner knowing and all that is on offer for us in the medical world fully embracing it all . What a difference this makes and you are living proof of this and a reflection and inspiratation for all women.
I love the fact how taking care for yourself has gone to a level where you’ve paid attention to each area, food, exercise, rest, making it possible to do something in the kitchen by adjusting the height, embracing the support that was offered, gentle walks, listening to your body, painkillers when you needed them. in other words truly taking the lead and responsibility to heal and recover, beautiful Carmel.
I recently listened to a presentation by Natalie Benhayon in which she talked about our ‘Preciousness’ and this is a word I’d previously heard as derogatory, but when you think about it, we treat babies as precious, we handle them delicately, with tender care, so who makes the decision to stop doing that as babies grow up? When we treat ourselves with tender, delicate care, and appreciate our own preciousness, our bodies will respond with love.
The acceptance of the reality that Carmel found herself in with no self criticism is beautiful to feel. Just how much can we heal our bodies with this approach to life, facing what is there, getting medical support and bringing understanding that encourages us to adjust our lives. This from my own experience brings an honesty to ourselves that we may previously have not wanted to see even though it was already known.
These words from Natalie, “our worth and value is known before anything you do” goes straight to the root of female health issues.
Great blog Carmel, love how detailed you have been as to exactly what happened and why you needed the operation. I also love how you went about marrying Western Medicine and Universal Medicine so as to truly heal on every level.
This is a love story about the body and the soul. The body never gives up on us and is always calling us to live who we truly are.
Treating our bodies just as a thing that we expect to function without regard for what we really need and is supportive can create a real shock when we become injured or ill.
Carmel, What Natalie Benhayon shared with you is very beautiful, ‘it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ I find this really supportive to read and can feel if we appreciate and love ourselves then we are more likely to work in a gentle and honouring way, for myself I have noticed that if I go into self doubt or am critical of myself that I can be hard with my body as if I don’t deserve the care and gentleness. It’s great to be aware of this.
it is amazing how our body never gives up on us – it is us who give up, and hand it over to whichever quality of life we are choosing at the time.
It is easy to blame our genes for our illnesses and of course genes will be a factor, but what is lifestyle is handed down too? My mother worked hard, so I work hard. My father was always at work so I’m always at work. We all take on the lifestyle of our parents in some ways, not only the actions but the attitudes too. My biggest challenge is to take time out for me, to stop and feel, to feel the quality in what I am doing, what is my intention, is it for me, for recognition from another or is it truly for humanity? That is a Big Question.
I find this such a loving blog Carmel, sharing such personal and intimate information about yourself and your body is like saying yes to everyone. Thank you for that and for sharing this: “Yes they are there energetically — it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” The sooner we all feel the truth of this and live it.
To honestly look at how your lifestyle may have contributed to your condition is super valuable Carmel, the changes you have now applied in your daily life and the deep honouring of yourself all together, is truly inspiring.
‘Our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; If we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ A great point Carmel, but not one many are willing to take responsibility for. There is a tendency to look outside ourselves, to blame our genes or bad luck if we fall ill. However making new lifestyle choices empowers us rather than falling victim to circumstance.
This article is a great inspiration and call to take responsibility for our health, which definitely includes seeking support from our medical professionals, but not trying to side track the central part we play in our health status.
It is only through Universal Medicine that I learnt how important it is to look after the body, and lovingly make choices that support me.. Prior to this I was mostly seen as being strong and capable to do most things and very rarely asked for help. If something was heavy, I saw it as a challenge and that I should be able to do it.. I am in my 60’s and there was a saying that I hear many people of my age or older say ‘We just have to get on with it’..but all this encourages us to do is ignore what is going on and try and get over round or past the issue without really feeling the true extent of what is happening, whether it is with the body or an issue in life.
I am still learning from this experience, initially I was learning to let go of the doing and the whole identity with doing, and I’m realising how much my self worth is still tied in with doing something useful for another person. In my current situation I am in another country, in a new relationship, and learning to open up and express what I feel, and learning to feel my body more, feeling my self worth through enjoying how my body feels when I walk. I love doing the esoteric yoga, that is helping me to develop stillness in motion.
Thank you for sharing Carmel, this is definitely a story we can all learn from.
Thanks Carmel, a great example of the marriage between Western Medicine and Universal Medicine Therapies offering a powerful opportunity to heal at all levels. What an inspiring story over something that is usually a hugely traumatic event in a woman’s life.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your story; it’s one many, I’m sure, including me, can really relate to. It’s all about what I can do…… isn’t it?? What a stop, to get to feel and understand that, no, it’s not about what I can do firstly, but who I am, what quality I bring, by being connected to my inner essence, before I do anything, Then whatever we do is done in that connection, with a quality of stillness, instead of anxiety and push at its core.
The timing of all this learning for you Carmel seemed perfect to me. We could look at it and think the plans and timing of your departure all had to be delayed, or we can view it by how much space came up for you to embrace the changes within your body for a whole new level of tenderness to take with you to the new relationship. The body teaches us so much with all its messages when we are prepared to go with the flow.
In my experience I have noticed how there is a culture in this country of working against modern western medical practises, as if they are bad, out of date, or contra to what the body actually needs. I suppose the reality is that modern medical practises simply are not the whole, they are just a part of what the body needs to heal and recover, and as long as we look to it to be the whole there will always be a gap which is frustrating and can lead to despair. The missing piece in all of this is, as Carmel so beautifully explains, our own sense of responsibility for our health and well being, after all – those who make up the healthcare systems are people just like anyone else with struggles and challenges of their own so although they may be very bright and capable and brilliant and talented, they are limited by the systems in place a limit that is surpassed as soon as any one of us decides to take responsibility to the core of our lived way.
‘…but celebrate the opportunity to connect with myself as a woman more deeply.’ How amazing that you saw the operation as an opportunity to connect more deeply to yourself as a woman, rather than something to suffer.
Yes, this really is something to acknowledge and appreciate and it is amazing to consider what this will look like when more and more of us adopt this approach.
We are raised to see illness as a failure, I certainly held this view with an acute disease I experienced, I didn’t for one minute accept it as a learning/healing opportunity nor the surgery as something to embrace with open arms. However, since being presented with the teachings of Universal Medicine, and the clarity and understanding of our body that these teachings bring, I have an entirely different relationship with my body, one that respects, welcomes and works with the feedback my body is constantly giving me.
Despite the lessons of the last sixteen weeks since my operation, I still have not learned how to be tender with myself 24/7, which shows how deeply ingrained these old patterns of behaviour are. I am much more gentle than I was and don’t lift heavy weights, but there are still areas where I catch myself overdoing it and my body sends me a signal that I am not taking care. The difference is that instead of beating myself up about it, I just take a gentle breath and stop doing it, because beating myself up is also a form of self abuse.
Thank you Carmel Reid for highlighting that there is no perfection in the learning but an opportunity to deepen, understand and move on. This is another example of self- love that supports us to see how tender the body truly is and the importance of taking care to the smallest degree.
An amazing honest sharing for all women showing the amount of love and care we can really give ourselves that can change everything in our healing and life. Though taking responsibility for ourselves and all we have taken on and lived with the support of Universal Medicine and conventional medicine true healing can take place in all levels of our body. A beautiful sharing of love and the truth of being a women in our sacredness and honouring.
I love what your have highlighted, Carmel, about the fact that being in the care of a medical team does not mean you relinquish your power or ‘give away’ your ability to make choices and be part of the decision making process. This is a great testimony and inspiration to receiving support from an empowered position, rather than a given up one. Thank you.
Coming into more connection with our bodies as women is to appreciate that we are part of a natural rhythm and cycle that is forever flowing.
The insights you share from your experience show how any illness, disease, body dysfunction, is a great opportunity to discover new awarenesses and deeply heal. An inspiring way to approach any health issue one may have.
This is such a valuable sharing on the importance of caring and honouring ourselves as women. Even discovering how to read our bodies takes our loving care with awareness to what is truly going on, that is: how we are with our bodies. I had some discomfort sensations in my left ovary last week and mentioned it to a friend. Her loving clear reading was ‘perhaps it was my body’s way of letting me know how I was using my body at work that wasn’t 100% honouring of myself’. Very sound wisdom, which I appreciate. It’s always worth chatting to a wise friend, or medically trained person or both, who may have an insight into what is going on.
I agree Sandra, the key is to pay attention to every signal our body offers us – I sometimes get a pain in my left side, spleenish area and it is always when I’ve been pushing myself to do something. And if it hurts then I know I’ve pushed myself too far, too hard literally, and need to be much more tender with my body so that it never gets to that point.
The signs and symptoms are all there – the longer we live over-riding them the louder they become to get our attention. How amazing would it be as young women to have the wisdom of other women to explain twinges, cramps, discomfort , tender breasts and more, are all simply a sign that we are doing too much, and have hardened our bodies to complete a task or over done it in sport when our bodies at that moment required honouring. The outcomes of women’s health will be very different when we approach true readings of our bodies well-being form young. Why wait until it’s a massive issue?
Another aspect of how I’ve been living is paying attention to the problems of the world and not looking at how I’ve been living. We can’t fix anybody or anything else, but we can make different choices in our own livingness, and what’s happening in the world is simply a reflection of choices that we are making in our own lives. For example, I can tut tut over the USA and the disturbance it is causing in the Middle East and I can look at the times when I have gossiped about someone and caused a disturbance, created disharmony. Micro and Macro. Things will not change on the macro scale until I change my own micro-life.
So true Carmel, our choices make a difference and the question to ask as often as required is: are my choices harmonious from the micro to the macro or do they start to create a disturbance as they radiate out? And everything radiates out, expanding its ripple effect, so is the extent of wide spread effect taken into account when I “think” I’m just doing one tiny bit over here in private?
There is something very amazing about considering and taking responsibility for our micro actions and the impact they have on the macro.
That goes for all of us Carmel, sometimes we can look out and retreat because we feel there is nothing we can do when humanity is stressed in so many different ways, and yet the one thing we can make a difference is within ourselves, and then huge changes do occur.
It does sound bizarre to go into surgery with the intention of enjoying it, but when we know the healing that can come when our own part in the understanding of the symptoms and the commitment to slowly undo and change our old ways, what is there not to look forward to and enjoy!
Rosanna at first read it would sound crazy, i totally agree! Yet thats how we are raised, that illness and disease is a failure not a healing opportunity. When we shift our view and approach to illness and disease then that is where we will really start to evolve as a humanity.
Thank you Carmel for such an honest and open sharing of your experience – This is a reassuring read that gives insightful understanding to many women who have or are going through a similar experience. Women’s health does not seem to talk about prolapse so much as other women’s health issues, but your experience brings a real and honest expose about it.
Appreciation of ourselves is one of the most powerful medicines there is.
How incredible to consider placing our worth and value before anything that we do and that by not honouring ourselves as women we can actually create harm and damage to our bodies.
I am learning even more to let go of pushing – I recently moved to a new country and am adapting to being in a new relationship. After a month of feeling somewhat dis-connected, I realised that I’ve still been pushing myself, ‘trying’ to get everything right and failing miserably, instead of going with the flow and honouring what I feel in my body in terms of what I eat, and what I actually need to be ‘doing’. It seems that this need to be doing is deeply entrenched, and the self worth is attached to that i.e. attached to something that is of no value until I can value myself first, then (a) I’ll know what to do and (b) what I do will come with the imprint of self worth. I’ve been living completely the wrong way round!
Carmel I love the awareness that is developing deeper within you. I can relate to the living the wrong way round!
“Outside of work I was packing up my house ready for a move abroad, with boxes weighing up to 20kgs. All because I could.”
Carmel I am struck by this last line, “all because I could”, through upholding independence as a sign of strength, I feel as a society we have encouraged one another to override our body’s equilibrium and push ourselves beyond our natural limits & then congratulated and complimented our hard work.
This is such an amazing sharing Carmel, one that may save a woman or two who reads this the pain you have just been though. It is certainly inspiring me to keep my exercises going as well as with taking care I am totally with myself in everything I do and never pushing to do anything that feel too much for my body.
Before anything we do, we have a divine and infinite worth that is immeasurable, we begin our lives as children, having information put on us, like we are empty vessels and yet everyone around can feel how amazing we are, and then when we begin to make the choice for recognition, head over heart way of being, learning and doing to be something, adults around say that we changed and we are growing up in a sad tone…make sense….not….we all have this divine essence and wisdom and it can be reclaimed in any moment. By honouring that we ‘be’ first and act from there…
What a beautiful reminder of our inherent worth before any deed that we may do. We have become so loaded with society’s messages around our worth being associated with how much we can produce and do.
‘ it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ Thank you for sharing Natalie’s words Carmel. Valuing and fully appreciating ourselves first and foremost brings the exquisite beauty of our essence to everything we do, and touches everyone.
Carmel, your intimate and beautiful sharing is a healing for all women – to come back to ourselves as women, to appreciate who we are for who we are, not for what we do, and to deeply care for and honour our bodies that so preciously enhouse all that we are simply by being women.
One of the many things that is beautiful about this blog, is the amazing simplicity that is shared. We know this and yet we do not heed and comply with the fact that caring for our bodies in the simplest of ways makes an enormous difference to the rejuvenation and healing of our bodies.
“My whole life has been based on recognition for my intelligence and ability to organise, co-ordinate, be efficient, do lots of different things, and here I was, on a six-week recuperation program with nothing to do except look after my body; what a challenge! I’ve let go of the push on many fronts, I am learning to honour what my body feels, I am learning to be more aware of what I feel, I am incredibly sensitive and can feel changes in energy” – what beautiful confirmation Carmel, registering the ‘before and after’ – yes, as i’ve experienced too like you, to let go of the push or fight, is one of the most lovely things for us to do especially as women when everything’s about doing over being – being, basking, activating, the natural qualities of ourselves as women over any recognition of triumph or accomplishment. Totally different quality that can totally be felt.
Thank you Carmel for such an honest and open sharing – this is a huge gift to all women (and men) in understanding the effects of how we hold ourselves and the thoughts we run impact upon us, and in that, all others as well. And also the power and potential we have to truly heal what is underlying the physical manifestations of illness.
This is a great sharing about what truly is the essence of a woman, and how the 24/7 super woman can be misunderstood as being what constitutes the capacity of what a woman can behold.
As soon as I do something that is tough or rough on my body, or go into a drive (that can be a thought as well as physical action) my ovaries start hurting, like little pings of pain sending me a message. This is the time for me to listen and not override what my body is telling me. It is amazing how incredibly sensitive our bodies are.
Having experienced a female health condition myself for four years it’s been amazing with the support of Universal Medicine and Conventional Medicine to explore the true quality that my body is to express. Because in the illness I have had to face the choices that go against the natural expression and the quality of life that my body truly brings when allowed to live as it feels to.
Carmel thank you for your honest sharing about your medical problem- vaginal prolapse and what that specifically meant for you, so others can learn from this. It was beautiful to see how you embraced both the medical profession’s advice re surgical treatment and combined this with esoteric healing modalities, for true healing. You also showed such deep nurturing and honouring of your body post surgery. Very inspiring.
We can sometimes need some space to learn about ourselves and heal and grow. Illness is often what allows us the ‘excuse;’ to do that, to have time off work, to have a pause from every day tasks, and rebuild our health and understanding about the body. I have certainly pushed myself too Carmel, and we think we get away with it, but the body remembers. We get away with nothing, we simply delay.
You are spot on here Gill when you say “We get away with nothing, we simply delay.” We can convince ourselves that by ignoring something that we can ‘get away with it’, but there will always be a time when it catches up with us and we will eventually have to deal with what we have been avoiding. The irony is that the longer we put something off, the more difficult it becomes to deal with, so delaying anything is ultimately never a wise choice.
What a beautiful sharing with in depth honesty and learning of all you have been through, showing us to simply listen and care for ourselves, deeply honouring our preciousness all through our lives. “it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” A very wise and amazing piece of advice, thank you for this supportive sharing for us all.
Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon’s reading of what underlies the condition is the piece that is missing from conventional medicine. It is a reading that could be given to most women, as most of us are trying to be superwoman and not listening to or respecting our bodies as deeply as they deserve. Whilst there is amazing surgery and techniques to fix things, if we continue to drive our body recklessly, it will only be a matter time before another condition appears.
This is indeed a profound and valuable statement for all women, to know…. “…your worth and value is known before anything you do…” This certainly would have implications on our choices, lifestyle or otherwise…
What I find amazing here in this journey for you, is how when you were given the time to simply be with yourself, to be gentle and caring, to nurture and support you, what came about was a beautiful blossoming of who you are. Which just goes to show that what is living inside of us all is something spectacular and divine.
Carmel, your down to earth and honest sharing about something that a lot of women are experiencing is super important – women need to know that life is not about hardship and performance, and that learning to stay connected to yourself and your body and to honour your own tenderness is actually true power.
It is beautiful having the space to stop and reassess my way of living, as I did just after the operation. I also observed that, as I began to feel better, how easy it was to slip back into those old patterns of busyness. In my life as it is now, I once again have space to observe, to connect, and to be, doing very simple tasks, but with every opportunity to feel my body – for example, just sitting at my laptop, I notice how easily I can slump down – it happens without my thinking about it but, once I become aware, it is easy to straighten up. The same when I walk – and when I straighten up, I’ve noticed that others do too, such as in a doctor’s waiting room. It is interesting how our way of being affects others without our saying a word.
I have also noticed this pattern in myself. If I get sick, I will only let myself rest to a certain degree and only for a short amount of time, as there is a drive to get back to normal and be able to do all the things we normally do. I was recently involved in a discussion amongst women and they all commented how they have this drive. They have also observed that men do not seem to have this, and can surrender to convalescing without the guilt of not doing.
It is inspiring to read the level of detail in the care and nurturing you gave to yourself after the operation. I have come to understand now that this is something we could live every day and be the prevention to our ills.
I have heard from quite a few people who had an operation and who did it similarly to Carmel and how much they reported the smoothness of the operation.
Carmel for most people they would stop at the traumatic experience and blame old age but what really stands out is how you’ve taken this experience and used it to deepen your appreciation of yourself as a women, very inspiring and a great story for many others who are in your situation around the world.
Our bodies are so very wise… they will always reveal how we have been living, which is an opportunity to truly heal, and to choose a new way of being with ourselves and with the world.
Here is yet another example of how the body guides us back to who we naturally are by ‘reflecting our lifestyle choices’ to us. The sooner we take heed the quicker we can heal. Carmel, it’s lovely to read how you honoured your body by ‘letting go of [your] identity with doing’and allowing yourself the space to heal.
Like you Carmel, I tended to do heavy lifting rather than wait for someone to help me ‘because I could’. But having connected more with my pelvic floor, uterus and cervix through doing Sacred Movement and Esoteric Yoga I now realise how delicate that area is and how inappropriate it is to put strain on that area just for the sake of getting something done. I see how it is indeed ‘pushing against being who I naturally am’.
I am so inspired by your healing journey Carmel and the greater love and awareness you are now offering to all of us in turn. Thank you.
We are given endless opportunities to embrace and enjoy the quality of our being, over the quantity that we ‘do’. The question is do we take these opportunities when they are presented, knowing that they nurture every cell in our body? Or do we continue to push on, ignoring the grace and space we have been given by our Soul?
I have sought recognition for ‘doing’ and I have been allowing myself to feel deeper layers of it recently it is in ingrained in so much of what I do or experience, a habit of wanting to be seen for who I am, I have looked outside for this confirmation rather than it coming from within.
It’s interesting that it’s not until we perhaps get sick, unwell or need some major surgery that we actually stop to consider, re-evaluate and assess our self worth as a woman. Great sharing Carmel, thank you
I’m now living as a ‘tourist’ in Australia and my visa conditions do not allow me to work as an employee. So I am faced with an interesting situation: for the first time in years my diary is empty, and it is interesting to focus on how I feel, not how much I need to get done. It has shown me how much I have been identified with the doing instead of feeling my true worth from within.
Love your down to earth style Carmel, there’s so much in this blog about how to prepare for and be supported by others and by yourself through surgery, – or in fact any period or situation where we need to take extra loving care of and honour our body.
What a process you have been through Carmel. I love your commitment in the way that you live now to appreciate and honour your body in a way that will not lead to anything like that again.
Yes, it is quite an amazing openness.
Wow amazing Carmel, I can feel the deep healing this situation has brought you and the opportunity that has arisen to help connect you back to the beautiful women you are. The way you have dealt with and shared your experience is an inspiration to anyone.
Funny how we can think we are strong and so we think this is a licence to push the body more and not tune into what is actually ok for our body to do or not…Carmel, when you talked about doing things because you could, it reminds me of my approach too – lifting things that were heavy because I could. carrying boxes that are heavy because I could, running because I could etc etc. Yet none of this came from a point of honouring and respecting my body and how I am built and how I am a woman. Reading your blog is a wonderful reminder that it is not just OK to care for myself, but that it is a necessary ‘job’ (responsibility) for me to be respectful of how my body is in every moment of the day, as a woman and constantly developing more the immense self value and appreciation that we all deserve.
This ‘doing everything just because we can’ is such a big one for so many women. So to actaully clock this and realise that we are absolutely pushing through and doing the opposite of what our bodies are asking us is enormous. I, and I know that countless others have done the same, at the expense of the physical and mental/emotional impact on our bodies, which somewhere down the line we have to pay for as you are showing us here Carmel. How amazing would it be if we did clock this early on? Imagine what we would be able to prevent if this were the case, and how much we would bring to the world from our lived wisdom if we shared what we knew to be true for ourselves.
Our bodies do reflect how we are living, ‘ our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too,’ they are really a great friend and support, teaching us what works, what is loving, and what is not.
Wow – women doing everything just because we can is a big one and something I’ve certainly been part of. I didn’t realise how massive it can be on the body until reading your experience and this makes me appreciate how important it is that we truly listen to our bodies and ask for support when it comes to heavy lifting.
Matts just imagine if we knew, and here’s the thing – utilised, 100% of the body’s amazingness and what it can do, or does from an energetic perspective … and how cells energetically correspond to this in order with the grand universe itself. What a gigantic ‘what if’. And what a gigantic truth [we are so far from, and in understanding].
Thank you for sharing Carmel. ‘Knowing my true worth , before anything I do’ has been an incredible journey for me and, although I Love and Appreciate so much more now, I can also feel the ongoing expansion needed – bringing more and more Love and Appreciation into the way I live my life.
We do this so easily and without self-regard – thinking about ourselves as a person rather than a woman and shouldering as much weight as we possibly can, in an effort to prove our worthiness. What a great turnaround, to have allowed yourself to rest and be taken care of during your recuperation period.
Carmel it’s a very powerful and revealing line, to learn that ” worth and value is known before anything you do.” There is so little appreciation or confirmation of who we are in this world, it’s more about the knowledge we learn, the things we do, and achievements. We actually have to relearn to be ourselves and then value who we are (before we do anything), which says a lot about where our society and its systems (including family) are currently at.
It is fascinating how even when an organ or system is taken out from the body it is still there energetically! We have much to learn from this.
It was lovely to see and feel the commitment you had for yourself during this process. Our bodies are always communicating, and it was great that you listened and honoured this.
The enormous appreciation of your self here as a women Carmel is deeply felt and shows how illness and disease can be very healing and life changing for us if we choose it. The love, care and nurturing we can give ourselves is ever ongoing and a real marker of our evoultion and an inspiration for the world.
There would be a lot of ‘life identity’ to let go of with a health situation. What you share about the degree of responsibility you claimed, which includes the support that was available to you, is truly inspiring. This offers that a situation can be evolving for who we truly are and not something to be considered a loss, regret or possibly ignored.
“it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do’ – I feel this is written for us all. A timely reminder for me, thank you.
I wonder what the world would look like if all women were in their full expressing and endorsed being a woman? The state of women in the world is painful to look at. Lifting 20kg bags is nothing for many women. Recently I have seen the glorification of women playing rugby union and even boxing. Our bodies are sacred, or have the capacity to be sacred, yet we are for the most part living in a way that does not allow for sacredness. Society isn’t much help either as women are encouraged to do everything and strive for it all. The fierce independent warrior women with a perfect body, career, house and kids is what is being endorsed by society – a far cry from the power that comes from living and expressing our fragility.
The fact that we copy men and call it equality reveals that we have already seen what they do as somehow higher than ourselves as women – how can that then be equality? We have made the actions of men our new benchmark which shows we hold that way of engaging with life and using our bodies as superior. We can’t remedy feelings of inequality with actions, as it’s simply a truth to be felt from within.
I love how you show the deeper healing and the incredible clearing surgery can offer Carmel.
Although this is a very positive medical story, I was very aware of the gaps in the education and treatment of this condition, especially initially. I feel these would have had significant impact on the course of this treatment without a proactive attitude for the patient. For instance, finding you have a medical condition and told to go away with some new exercises and come back in 3 months leaves the person unsupported. No wonder so many people consult and get misinformation from Dr. Google! This story shows how vital empowerment and responsibility from the client are, but also the gaps where patients need more support and education when dealing with a condition.
Hi Fiona, as I understood the situation, the UK NHS is so strapped for cash they can only treat absolutely essential cases with surgery and there is a waiting list for anything that is not life-threatening. It was only my own disbelief that exercises would make a difference plus my impending move to another country that prompted me to take more action. It cost me a lot of money going private, which made me appreciate all the more, just how much we get for free from the NHS.
This blog was very inspiring to read, due to the commitment you have shown to yourself as a woman. We all seem to have fallen into the trap of gaining temporary worth from what we do and trying to be superwomen so we can get every bit of recognition available. This is to the detriment of our bodies. Our worth is always there, it’s inside us waiting for us to let it out and appreciated for the value our qualities bring to everyone.
‘All because I could.’ O,oh I know this so well, it can be doing something before even knowing I am that is to much for my body just because of ‘of course I can do that’. I am learning and I love how your blog shows a huge turn around in this ‘all because I could’ to really listening to your womanly body. Gorgeous to feel how the care and love towards yourself has been going up building a new foundation to live from.
Thank you for sharing all this Carmel, it’s really valuable to be able to read about the practical side of your treatment and recovery as well as the energetic changes that you have made in the way that you are living.
Our bodies communicate in so many ways for us to pay attention of the way we are living and once again reconnect to the delicacy and tenderness innate to us all, thank you for sharing Carmel, truly inspiring.
It is great to hear how you informed yourself so well Carmel with both the best medical perspectives and enquiry into the way you have lived as a woman and the choices you have made.
I agree with you Carmel, it is important for us to do our bit when it comes to the illnesses we present to the doctors. I recently went myself and could say that I was doing x, y and z, but was there anything else she could suggest which would support me further. That way we work with them instead of expecting them to just heal us.
‘…if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ This is a simple equation that is really profound when applied. Thank you, Carmel.
All credit and appreciation to you Carmel, what a beautiful testimony to you, your Doctors and carers, Western Medicine and the healing powers of the teachings and love of Serge Benhayon. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom, very inspirational.
I know I have pushed myself too Carmel. As women we often feel we have so many roles to fit in and that includes being tough and able to do everything. Our bodies give us the message that this is not healthy to live like this so we can learn to make different choices. You have shown us we can let go and discover our femininity and gentleness inside. This letting go of being all things to everyone is huge Carmel, you are an amazing reflection.
There is no end to how precious and divine our bodies are. And there is also no end to the ways in which our bodies keep reminding us of this fact.
‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’ Thank you Carmel, for sharing these words from Serge Benhayon. I feel they are a key for me too and for women in general and will also affect what we reflect to the world which will in turn allow men to connect more deeply with themselves and their delicate tenderness.
‘Our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices’. This is not so obvious to the many who blame anything but themselves for their condition. If however, we take responsibility for the fact that ‘we did it’ we can set about undoing what we did by taking more self-loving choices. Though it does take time and patience, it doesn’t need as long to undo it if we are dedicated and aware and even if the condition does not fully heal we have the opportunity to learn the lesson it was there to teach us, which is a healing in itself.
Beautiful Carmel, I love how supporting yourself so lovingly called in support from everyone. What a divine reflection!
What an incredible process of healing you have been through and to share it so openly really is a testament to being a role model for the next generations. To open up the discussion to all is so humbling Carmel so thank you.
‘This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors.’ Carmel, if we all took responsibility for our health care, not just once we are diagnosed with a condition, but by introducing self-care into our daily routine there would be a great burden taken off the Health System which is soon not going to be able to cope with the number of people requiring medical attention.
It is inspiring to feel your appreciation of yourself Carmel as you explored your options, what was true for you and your body, and now taking the time to heal – so very honouring of the delicate gorgeous woman you are.
Appreciation of ourselves as women supports us to claim all the beauty, wisdom and glory that is innately within us all.
Yes appreciation is key… of ourselves and then, totally naturally so, of each other.
I can see from reading this why there is such an increase in womens health conditions as when I look around I see very few women endorsing themselves as the truly beautiful woman they are on the inside. I never had this relationship with myself until I was diagnosed with a serious disease. Thank you Carmel for an inspiring read.
Carmel this is such an inspirational step by step account of listening, honouring and supporting our bodies to heal, through communicating fully with doctors, nurses, chefs, housemates and friends, you allowed yourself to be fully supported. It’s a rarity to accept this level of support in a world that heralds ardent independence, typically i feel many would go it alone, override medical advice & go back to the drive of our old ways, attempt to do too much and in turn hinder/delay the body’s wondrous capacity to heal.
Lucinda this is very true, we women love to prove our independence and go it alone, Asking for help is a big challenge for many of us and for me it has been a big challenge not to go back into old ways of thinking I have to do this and do that when what really matters is the quality of my Be-Ing.
Yes indeed, Carmel, true healing coming from understanding the root cause of any condition and then making use of western medicine and relevant esoteric healing modalities to support the body with what it needs to mend. Sounds like you learnt a lot in the process!
What I find so amazing is how beautiful all women are when we allow ourselves to feel the whole beauty and are not just looking at the shape or face or hair. We so judge each other by what we see and feeling deeper is revelatory. The same goes for ourselves: allowing ourselves to feel our inner beauty, the stillness, the tenderness and then expressing from there is life-changing.
“A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.” Yes recognition for what we do instead of who we are is so ingrained in society and I am peeling away layers and layers of where I want to be recognised for. As I found this way of living is very exhausting.
An awesome blog Carmel. We are so incredibly sensitive and delicate and yet we spend so much time trying to show how tough, strong and resilient we are. The body can put up with a lot of abuse, but it registers every moment of it, and so we have to unravel what we put into it. Our body is our greatest friend and surrendering and listening to its wisdom is something I love and appreciate above everything, Thank you Serge Benhayon.
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It is a big one to feel that your worth is already known before what we do – this takes away all of the identifying ourselves with our job title or our talents. Lovely sharing Carmel.
“I sought advice from Serge Benhayon, asking for a reading on what the prolapse meant. I already knew what had caused it and he agreed, adding that it was me not in my full expression, in fact pushing against being who I naturally am and he also said that it was showing me to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’”
How many of us as women, live our full expression? And how many of us as women endorse and embrace ourselves as women with no reservations? What is it going to take for us as women to shake us up to actually make the change and begin to deeply appreciate and live the beautiful women that we are? Thank you Carmel for your sharing, as it really hits home for so many of us – I can certainly put my hand up and say I have work to do in accepting and embracing myself as a woman much more deeply, and in so doing must stop the push and drive and the fight against who I naturally am.
What an amazing healing journey you have had Carmel. I admire your commitment to yourself and your precious body during all the steps you took along the way to nurture yourself, and that you were not afraid to ask for support either. Often we take our bodies for granted until something happens, but you have shown that if we take responsibility for our health and are pro-active in gathering support from people who we trust, great healing can take place, on many levels, not just on the physical.
It’s amazing how we can be completely unaware of certain parts of our bodies until something goes wrong with them.
One aspect that is so very important to understand and appreciate is the awareness this article offers to younger women. When young – without the wisdom and appreciation of hind-sight we go ahead with using our bodies in a way that isn’t honouring and can be long term harming. It is the wisdom of our elders that is essential to be shared and chattered about so for starters too we don’t come back at ourselves with ” I wish I had known that years ago”!
This is a super honest and inspiring blog – the physiological journey with the insight and willingness to connect to the choices and way of living that were part of them. Thank you, Carmel.
It is interesting to consider our body on an energetic level, rather than just physical, the prospect of having surgery to remove part of our body offers us a new perspective concerning this, because you are a woman, with or without a vagina, breast etc. It is energetically so. Awesome openness here, thank you for sharing.
The energy is such a fundamental part of our living experience it is amazing that we are not taught this in schools. We can feel in our bodies the energetic effect of everyone’s expression, as well as our own way of living and being.
Wow, thanks for sharing Carmel. I always wondered what a prolapse what. I’m sure may women can relate, as I do, to what you share. Commonly women are fantastic at doing things. But do we value our worth before we do anything? Not so common.
Great points Nikki – lets swing it around and value ourselves first as the common denominator in all our choices and from there feel how fantastic it is when we do something – we might find the quality in ourselves and the outcome of the activity very different.
” it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” What a great piece of advice for everyone and an amazing sharing of true healing bringing appreciation for our bodies thank you Carmel for this very real sharing .
Wow Carmel, to read how you have informed and supported yourself to heal both physically and physiologically is amazingly inspirational – this is the kind of situation where most women would be spun into much emotional angst, self doubt, blame and worry yet your blog gives no sense of this, instead it offers a practical steadiness and awareness that I am certain is the binding factor in any healing process.
Yes, Lucinda, by fully embracing this process, Carmel has learned and healed a lot it would seem. Very inspiring…
It has been inspiring to see you let go of so much Carmel, on so many levels. We generally have become so adept at hanging on to our ‘stuff’, without truly appreciating the far reaching consequences. Thankyou for sharing your experience that there can be another way.
It blows me away how strongly the body communicates with us – in precisely the way that is needed for us to understand the ill choices we are making in the way we are living.
Me too Kylie, what a great teacher the body is, makes me appreciate mine more and more.
There is so much to appreciate here Carmel. One point I noted was that you’ve supported yourself well and had the money to have the operation under private health rather than wait under the public system. That has to be deeply appreciated.
Carmel your story is very inspiring not simply for how you are recovering and looking after yourself but in the fact that it highlights to everyone how we can often push ourselves and say that we are fine, we can handle different things when in fact we override our body and end up getting sick. If I were to stop and not override my body my life would be much more tender and loving, Something that I certainly feel to try out!
I read this and was really taken with this line – “so that your worth and value is known before anything you do” – and it was super supportive when I made a error at work. I would normally go so hard on myself but I didn’t. I did not ignore and I dealt with what needed to be done and apologised for the error, but for the first time I did not put that error before my value and my worth. It was extraordinary. thank you for the inspiration.
That’s very cool, Sarah, we can choose to make ourselves smaller with every mistake or we can see them as an opportunity to grow, and it sounds like valuing yourself first was essential in that situation. Like in customer care I always say it doesn’t matter that there is a problem, it’s how you deal with the problem that makes a difference. And now I am learning that it is how we are with all of it that makes a difference, because the quality we are in will be felt by everybody.
It is very rare these days to hear of someone who has had a hysterectomy and views it as an “…opportunity to learn, heal and deepen my connection to myself as a woman.” So often it is seen as a quick fix and go back to living life as before. So awesome you are changing the mould here Carmel and offering an opportunity for others to see it as the true healing it can be if we play our part along with western and complementary practitioners.
Carmel having just re read your account I was taken once more by the sheer depth of self care and indeed self love that you are now able to live with. Very inspiring indeed.
It is a remarkable shift to be able to let go of a very essentially female part of your body, while at the same time deepening your appreciating of yourself as a woman. Awesome.
It is inspiring to know that no matter what our bodies are standing beside us in the deepening of ourselves in love.
On handling heavy tasks physically–It is true that when I was willing to allow others to help me with heavy bags and luggage, that is to let go of the belief of being “good” and capable, of not needing help, of making life a struggle…I am enjoying that life can be simple, that as a woman I am valuable and there is support everywhere.
“Not only that, but I was strong and therefore allowed myself to lift heavy things, and enjoyed the weekly battle with a wayward shopping trolley and all the heavy shopping, not knowing how much lifting heavy things was affecting my pelvic floor muscles” – Carmel reading this takes me back a fair few years ago to when i used to do my grocery shopping, carrying about six full bags, three in each hand, that included bottles and tins, and then struggling on and off the bus to get back home, climbing a short flight of stairs before ending up in a heap. Getting one of those shopper trolleys changed my life towards ease, and the reason i had not bought one before, was because i thought it was “not cool” and “only for the old ladies” hah (!!), how something, a belief or picture, can physically work to damage a human body, though remove the picture, and feel the freeness of ease in this.
That is a long time to wait to see a specialist Carmel, so the NHS are now suggesting we go private? I can only see that this is going to get more and more prevalent as the National Health Service gets further overloaded and underfunded. What you write then is incredibly valid and shows the way forward, “This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors. By taking care of myself I am making the most of the healing opportunity on offer. By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body, which will stand me in good stead in the future.”
Lately i have felt inspired to start up some anatomy and physiology presentations for children, to encourage them to not only engage with their bodies but also to re-inspire the wonderment that it offers. Your comment backs this up, if this was part of the curriculum we would have a generation growing up with more connection to and appreciation for their bodies which in turn supports them to make healthier and more responsible choices.
Lucinda, that sounds wonderful, to help children feel the love for their bodies, which are truly fascinating in their ability to self-heal, and to have an understanding of the delicate balance of systems that need to work in harmony for optimum health.
Carmel, thank you for sharing your story – I would like to simply appreciate and confirm the very evident changes you have made through choosing to be re-connected with yourself. An inner beauty and delicacy emanates from you nowadays.
Even when we lose a physical organ, the energetic (same) organ still remains. We’ve never been taught there’s a energetic organ and a physical one. And that both need deep care and love. Being with our body is so crucially important. It is in fact our home where we live in 24 hours a day. There’s much to learn through connecting to our body. There’s a magnificence that is to be cherished. And while we don’t, we’re fueling our body with energy that is actually abusing our vehicle of expression, our body.
Allowing ourselves the space to evaluate our options and not react to the sounding severity of something like a full hysterectomy can really support our healing process when we have an illness… Saying adamant ‘NO’s because a suggestion puts us out of our comfort zone may actually reduce the potential to heal.
That is true, Susie, we need to be open to whatever form of healing is offered and then to truly discern if it feels OK or not, but not to dismiss it immediately because it wasn’t what we had planned.
Wow, this is a great thing to consider. How many times have I avoided an opportunity to heal because what was on offer went against a belief I held or put me out of my comfort zone?
A great point of awareness to raise – thank you. I can feel the dismissiveness that comes into any situation where my comfort-zone is starting to feel uncomfortable, or I go to any reaction to alleviate a level of discomfort, without first discerning what is truly needed.
A very real and honest blog and sharing for all women about our bodies and the real care nurturing and honouring we deserve to live for ourselves from your great wisdom and learning and all that has been shown to you you have embraced. Beautiful and a real inspiration for us all. Thank you Carmel.
“…letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.” This is a big shift for us all to make as the ‘doing’ in the world is a prized thing…but in the doing we negate the quality in which we live and our bodies break down. To make the focus on the being first, naturally the doing will be done in a quality which supports the body to remain healthy.
As women there are so many ways in which we drive ourselves to obtain the perfect picture of how our life should look, that as a result we lose our true selves – is it any wonder we end up with gynaecological issues.
I love how you took care in preparing for your operation Carmel – a great reminder for us all that preparation is part of the healing too.
‘A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.’ This is key medicine for all of us.
I have heard people who are amputees say that they can still ‘feel’ their leg or their arm after it has physically been removed. As shared here, our bodies are not just physical entities but energetic too. We live on many levels and when we embrace the fact maybe we will view our health and illness and disease very differently.
“it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” Wise words from Natalie Benhayon. This is something I am working on too.
This is wonderful example, Carmel, of what true responsibility can look like whilst undergoing surgery or recovering from an illness. It sounds like you embraced this wonderful opportunity for learning from all angles, and got all the support you needed every step of the way.
I love the frankness in what you have written, it is open and honest and a lovely read. It is a blog that I will read again as there is so much here I can relate to.
Carmel, it sounds as if you are in metamorphosis with all the things that are occurring, as if the frequency on the radio station – ‘Carmel the Woman’ (!!!) is being re-tuned and heightened…And what a great radio program we’re all enjoying listening to : )
Great sharing Carmel, when we are looking after and taking care of ourselves and allowing others to help us when we need that extra support we can recover much quicker, and at the same time continue to deepen our connection with ourselves which further supports us as we move on.
The support of those around you is vital in the recovery process and I feel the love and support you have gotten from day one with your Doctors and The Students of The Livingness has been amazing so that true healing is assured.
Thank you for sharing your experience Carmel, so very practical as well as honest, loving and wise. This is a great support for women and an invitation to honour ourselves and the process should something similar occur for us.
Your deeper awareness of what was taking place and hence the healing being offered is amazing to hear Carmel. The wisdom within is right there and available to you as well as your body’s willingness to offer you a deeper learning and understanding. Truly inspiring.
“…it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” – such a simple, yet profound message about how to live in this world as a woman. To know and feel our worth and value first and foremost.
It is so lovely that people are picking up on these words of Natalie, because they are so relevant for all of us and I for one need to keep being reminded… It is me who needs to value myself as a woman and to accept and honour my sacredness and to stop struggling with the word ‘sacred’ because there is no struggle, it’s all there, all I need to do is connect with it.
A great sharing Carmel I will be re-visiting many times! Its become so normal to push our bodies beyond what they can do, and this results in numerous ways that the body re-corrects itself. I have always thought that having ‘things wrong with me’ like say an injury or illness would be so devastating, but realise now how they can help us return to our most sacred way of being, If we have pushed too far away.
That’s the point, Harry – we can push our bodies along way before any symptoms show, but that doesn’t mean damage isn’t being done. Before I left I did try to lift one suitcase weighing 15kg and, because I am now allowing myself to feel more, I could instantly feel the effect in my pelvic region. Hopefully it hasn’t done any damage, but the consultant did warn me. Our bodies are warning us all the time, we just need to listen more and not override what we know.
As a man I see so many women trying to do life on their own. As if they’ve got to be both man and woman in one. A superwoman who is completely independent. What if this is completely the opposite of what life’s teaching us. That we’re to do life together. Both men and women from their specific qualities. How would life be if we would truly do it together? How would it be if literally everyone has tasks that they love to do. Because we allow so much control into our lives, we don’t blossom. Of course not. We can’t blossom if we don’t allow ourselves (!! – independent of what others say or think) to be who we truly are. We’re unique in our own right and men could (should) be inspired by women to live from the sensitivity and the natural sphericalness that so many women and even more men have lost connection to.
It has been so gorgeous on my journey over the last two days to ask men for help with my luggage – they have been so willing and so gracious it has been a beautiful interaction each time.
Our bodies provide a reflection of truth if we are willing to listen to them and read what they are telling us. As Carmel has shared here, the physical manifestations in her body make sense to her as a reflection of how she has lived with her femaleness and I find the same happens in my body. When we understand the energetic foundation upon which our bodies are built, then we are empowered to work on a deeper level with any illness or disease and heal the real issues more effectively.
‘When we understand the energetic foundation upon which our bodies are built…’ This is a good point, Richard, we learn about energy in Physics at school but not with reference to our bodies, which is crazy, since we know now, thanks to Einstein and Serge Benhayon, that everything is energy and everything is because of energy. Once we have the understanding that there are two energies which impulse all our thoughts and our movements, and that the only free will choice we actually make is which energy we align to, then everything else in the world makes so much more sense. This awareness needs to be in all children’s education from the moment hey are born.
Today I fly from the UK to Australia, it is the next step after months of preparation and planning, packing up my life into boxes, discarding, dismantling and letting go of not just physical possessions, but also many aspects of how I have been living. Letting go of the hardness and the push to achieve, the images of how I thought life would turn out, identification with everything I did/do. I have been surrendering to the amazing and truly loving support that I have received from the community of friends and therapists in UK, Australia and many other parts of the world, and most of all surrendering to feeling myself as a woman, tender, fragile and delicate… and beautiful, love-able and sweet.
After reading your blog Carmel, I felt a level of sadness at how I am still living very much as a person caught up in doing and not as a delicate and precious young woman. I could feel the tenderness with which you had written it and how this somehow gave me permission to connect to my own delicateness and as a result my day has flowed completely differently.
Living life without the conscious connection with out body has a price. Not only has the body to cope with energies that don’t come from our Soul, but we miss – most of us during our whole lifes – out on the precious, delicate, tender, loving and caring being that we are! Only to get some form of illness and disease that is needed to get rid of the heavy energies that we’ve collected / chosen throughout our life. What if we would be taught from the day that we’re born to not only look after our body, but to deeply cherish and connect to our body. What if… That would change the whole world. It would shake it upside down. Our Wisdom stems from within, from the connection with our body and inner-heart. I love Carmel’s honesty and courage to share so openly and intimately with us her experiences and what she’s learnt.
‘What if we would be taught from the day that we’re born to not only look after our body, but to deeply cherish and connect to our body.’ Deeply cherish and connect to the body – what if we began to do that today, right now…?
Carmel, this is such a comprehensive sharing of your experience of an area of the body that must affect many women, and a great deal of men too. It makes me wonder if gentle pelvic floor exercises should be more commonplace and taught from a young age as building integrity in this area of our body can be transformative. I feel that a strong centre definitely correlates to a strong commitment to life, something that you have demonstrated here in your willingness to heal all that has come before you.
I agree, Stephen, I have always heard the words ‘tighten your core muscles’ but never really known what or where they were. I was blown away when I saw a diagram of all the muscles in that area including the pelvic floor – this should be taught in schools, so much more educational than subjects like history, for example.
Amazing Jane, especially considering how open and responsive children are to learning things, and how naturally connected they are to their bodies in those early years. Something we should cherish and support them to maintain.
Lovely and very inspiring to see how you are supporting and caring for yourself Carmel. Beautiful.
A very timely and supportive read Carmel – Thank you. Today I move house and I am aware there are a few niggles in my body – indicating that how I’m moving and what I’m moving requires a deeper level of connection and consideration to all of me before I ‘do’ something. Simply sitting here reading this blog, feeling my pelvis and taking my awareness to my niggles is supporting my body to let go and surrender to what is before me. It is so true that no amount of control is going to support the actual process; in fact it’s proving time and again that it makes for more tension in the body and complication all around.
Oh how the body knows Exactly what is right for us!
I love coming back to re read this blog, I find it refreshing and honest and has much to offer.
Carmel, I can attest to the new level of delicacy and grace I have seen in you since your operation, it feels very much like you have been supported to claim the beautiful woman that you are. As I read Serge’s words I realised how far away I am from truly appreciating that I am an amazing woman and not a ‘person’. Its like I block the woman out in order to get everything done rather than connecting to the woman first and doing what needs to be done from there.
The preparation by how I was living and the support I received from Universal Medicine practitioners before the operation stood me in good stead for a fast and healthy recovery. We prepare ourselves for a job interview but don’t think about preparing ourselves for an operation, we tend to just expect the doctors to ‘fix’ us, but how we live and the therapeutic support we have can truly support the medical staff and makes a huge difference to our ongoing health thereafter.
‘This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors.’ I agree Carmel, what you’ve shared is a great example of this and you will inspire so many people to take responsibility for their health and well-being. I am certainly inspired by your blog and your appreciation for this healing experience says it all.
Thanks Carmel for your thorough sharing of your procedure.
When things do happen with our female parts, from a monthly period experiencing pain for example to surgery as you’ve had Carmel, it comes back to the same pertinent point, which is the body’s remarkable (clearing) way in restoring the woman back to who she truly is, from a prior false place. In this way and understanding, what happens in our bodies in its communication to us…is communication from heaven [not ‘hell’ as we might think], worth embracing and appreciating with everything we have.
‘the body’s remarkable (clearing) way in restoring the woman back to who she truly is’ these are beautiful words, Zofia and truly helps us to understand that our bodies are on our side supporting us all the way, and not something we should be fighting or training to do anything that is against their nature, our nature.
The topic of self worth for women is riddled with so many beliefs and pictures that I know I am still working on to this day. The move into doing becomes an immediate reaction when we have concerns and start to question how we are living. In many cases is it like an auto pilot switch we can turn on when it gets all too much. The support given from Natalie Benhayon is golden is recognising that there is more to look at how we are living that supports true healing of the body so that this pattern of behaviour can be put to rest, as it longer serves the body and the expression we truly have as women.
Some people are needed to work with and move heavy things. But anyone who feels that it doesn’t support them in one way or another should honour the delicate communication from the body. A lot of people overwrite their body’s messages with long term effects that are not so pleasant. Although our bodies can cope with a lot, they definitely prefer / love for a better word to be tenderly listened to.
I also love your acknowledgement of the fact that you really required a team of experts and host of support, between the medical, the psychological, daily support from family, and energetic healing to support your recovery.
Thank you for such an open and honest sharing of your experience Carmel. It’s only recently that I’ve learnt about prolapses (my housemate works as a midwife), and to be honest, it sounds a bit scary. I love the responsibility you have taken with your body and the letting go you’ve acknowledged was necessary to really support you back to vitality. I can relate to being recognized for my ability to be efficient, organised and hard working and I often use that as a way to avoid feeling my own tenderness.
Yes, it was scary to see what had happened and to know that my lack of self care was entirely responsible for this and that it had gone beyond the point of no return. Our bodies can take a lot of abuse and appear to repair themselves very well, so it’s easy to ignore them, but in truth everything does something, nothing can be ignored, and the more tender we are with our bodies the more in harmony they can be. We do not need to be as ill as we allow ourselves to get.
Wow what an incredible combination – it sounds space was created for true healing all of you.
I wonder just how many of us women actually stop to consider and appreciate, for a moment, ourselves as being a woman? When attention is encouraged more about what we ‘do’, how much we can ‘do’ and juggle, rather than being aware of the beautiful essence and quality a woman naturally brings by ‘being’ herself… and bringing this quality to anything that she does ‘do’ …. What a formidable combination this essence in action is…
That is what we tend to forget: that when we are truly connected to our essence and express everything we do from there, it is powerful – not in a dominating way, but in an evolutionary way, a world-changing way…
It is strange how I find it can sometimes take me a long time or many experiences to appreciate myself as a woman. I have ignored the messages in the past or overrode them, not wanting to go into great depth about them, yet deeper inner feelings and essence that we are as women are there for our learning in this lifetime. This experience has been profound and a great journey to share Carmel for us all to learn from.
An amazing sharing Carmel… this exposes how we can view whatever our bodies present to us as something to be fixed – or we can view it as the incredible gift of healing that it truly is.
Your details and experiences shared here Carmel is so humbling and very informative as to what is really going on with our bodies and how we are living. To truly listen to our bodies share and feel our extreme tenderness, fragility and sacredness with our every move to the most minute detail is very supportive to assist us to live who we really are and to heal ourselves with all the support out there.
Historically women and appreciation do not go hand in hand. Women often complain about not being appreciated by others and yet find it almost impossible to appreciate themselves. Through self appreciation we begin to truly flourish and the need for appreciation from others diminishes.
I agree, Alexis, self appreciation definitely needs to be part of every young girl’s agenda so she can grow into a woman who truly appreciates herself and all other women. In that way women can honour and cherish each other and it follows that men will do so too.
I have been a woman who, due to holding myself back, has then wanted to hold other women back, so that they didn’t highlight my own poor choices. It is nothing short of miraculous to now be actively lifting other women up and truly wanting them to fly.
Wow Carmel, I didn’t know that women can have vaginal prolapse. I have given birth to two children and was not looking after my body very well after childbirth. Your blog offers so much for me to learn and inspires me to take my pelvic floor exercises more seriously, also I am learning to appreciate myself more and more as a woman. I am going to be reading your blog many time more, I find it very inspiring and informative. Thank you for sharing this Carmel, it will support so many women, myself included, to claim and live appreciating our body and who we are, deeply previous and delicate beings.
A beautiful blog Carmel, thank you for sharing.
“A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.” Great reminder.
There is so much here, such a rich depth of lived wisdom that is literally pouring out from every word, and because of this, there is the inspiration of Carmel, a wonderful woman who has the ability to grow with every experience – living it to full.
Prolapses can happen from childbirth alone, especially when a woman gives birth to a large baby. And women can be more prone to prolapses once they are in menopause too as certain hormones (oestrogens) plummet in menopause and these hormones are usually ones that help to keep the muscles and pelvic support structures strong. It helps to know this, but what I love about what Carmel has presented, is that there is more to the picture than just the childbirth or hormones etc, as it is just as important how we care for ourselves and how we are as a woman (are we lifting heavy things, are we respecting our body in the way we move and live?). We have to look at this in a broader way and bring a deeper understanding to it so that we can learn and grow all together from our experiences and from each other.
Yes, lifting heavy things is something we do without thinking but, once we become more aware of our pelvic region and can feel the incredible strain we put on the delicate muscles there, we can also feel the responsibility of taking care and asking for help.I’m learning to connect within my body first, then connect with the object, and then I know if it is something I can do or need to ask for help with. Independence is harmful, I need to surrender and ask for help and wait for it to become available, so patience becomes a supportive quality to maintain.
Yes, it feels like when heavy lifting is part of our job that we just accept that’s what we need to do and override all the messages our bodies are giving us. I did this when I worked in a restaurant and would feel incredibly awkward to ask for help, in fact I pushed on through in order to prove that I was as able as the guys to carry heavy plates etc., up and down a flight of stairs. It felt like the support wasn’t there but the truth was I was not prepared to ask for the support. Now, I readily ask for support and am amazed how much help is there.
I feel like you have written this for many of us women, thank you. I hear the call to come back and know my worth and value before I do anything.
Spot on Sarah – Carmel has shared her experience for us all to learn from, and you have nailed the message on the head by saying it is about knowing our worth as women over and above and before anything we DO. Thank you to you both for this beautiful reminder.
It is interesting how, during our growing up years, many of us women push and try to ‘do’ and be equal to a man, in some capacity but who are we kidding? Our body is hormonally different and built differently, and yet there is a tendency to ‘prove’ our worth as an equal to a man’s natural physical strengths. There is a tremendous amount of worth in honouring the delicate and natural stillness within a woman, which tips the scales back to a balance between the male and the female.
I agree, Johanne, honouring our natural delicateness and stillness needs to start from birth and continue right through to our death, parenting needs to change to support this and society attitudes need to change too. It is up to all of us who understand this to take responsibility and set the marker for others, to be the role models.
Exactly Johannebrown17, who are we kidding? One of the amazing aspects of a woman’s body is that we can make and nurture babies, an awe inspiring, divinely designed ability. We have no need to out smart men, regardless of whether we have children, want to have children or not, women the world over are amazing. Having been one of those ‘push the men off their perch’ women, (an approach that simply made me very ill) I have come to realise the immense power, grace and healing there is in learning to cherish, appreciate and honour my divine body, purpose and fragility within me and within all women. And in doing so, I have come to truly appreciate, honour and cherish men in their tenderness, strength and deep caring and to celebrate the harmony that is being restored when each gender chooses to connect with, appreciate and lovingly express our true gender qualities.
What a beautiful way to prepare for a new relationship, by deepening and appreciating yourself as a woman.
I’ve also been sharing a house with two women after five years on my own and I have been learning how to recognise what I feel and to express that to my housemates without fear of being judged, or getting a reaction and if it does happen, because none of us are perfect, we’ve been able to explore the cause and see where we left openings for energy to come and disrupt the relationship. That has also supported me to be more open in new relationships.
I have learnt so much from my body as to how I am living, through illness and symptoms and how my body feels in situations .. heavy, light, energised, drained. It offers me the opportunity to change and with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in understanding the truth about the body I have made many changes to a more caring, loving way, an ongoing process .. my health has rebalanced as a result .
Ruth, you are an amazing example of turning your health around by simple choices of self care.
By ignoring the physical changes in our bodies we are dishonouring ourselves and everybody else. We all have a responsibility to live what we know to be true for ourselves and therefore offer another the opportunity to see that they can live that too, but when we hold back this cannot happen. Thankyou Carmel for sharing how you have opened yourself up in this way and are inspiring me and others to do the same.
The most powerful questions put to me in all my endeavours to address my period problems were without a doubt “and how am I living as a woman? Am I appreciating all my womanly qualities?” They really got me pondering on how I treated my body and viewed myself and in doing so, empowered me to transform how I regarded my delicate female body and inner qualities, all with astounding results. The evidence is plainly there for all to see that one of our biggest medicines resides in our self-imposed attitudes and behaviours towards our gender. Appreciating all the tender qualities of both genders is as ground breaking as penicillin, a deeply needed medicine that truly supports our return to robust, vital health.
‘Appreciating all the tender qualities of both genders is as ground breaking as penicillin, a deeply needed medicine that truly supports our return to robust, vital health.’ Well said, Rowena, this is indeed ground breaking and much needed – women have gone so far as to our-male the men and it’s time to redress the balance. Both men and women are deeply tender and we need to stop fighting each other.
Carmel’s describing how she’s been largely unaware of the prolapse in her body. This is a symptom that many (if not almost everybody) can relate to – not being aware of specific parts of our body. We’ve made our body second to our mind. We’re overriding it and then later we’re ‘surprised’ and ‘playing victim’ if we’re confronted with illness or disease. I’m asking myself, why are we (am I) accepting to be non-loving with ourselves? Why is it that we don’t choose unconditional love for ourselves before the choices of how others relate to us? We’re to stop it! But no one’s going to do it for us. We’re the ones who’ve got the loving power and strength to choose so. Who’s in?
Very interesting observations you propose here Carmel that we could actually make ourselves ill simply by the quality of how we move.
And what a scientific revelation it is Andrew, and will be in medicine too, when the quality of how we move, how we treat our bodies and what we expect of them will also be questioned when we are examined by the doctor. Just as the quality of our diet is vital to our health, so is the quality of our movements. What I have come to realise is that I can still do very physical jobs, but I no longer push my body beyond its limits, in fact the more I surrender to what my body is naturally capable of, the easier the physical job becomes and the easier it is to ask for help with all the tasks that I previously would have ploughed on with. This choice to change the quality of my movements has most definitely had a huge influence on the quality of my health today.
Letting go of the push and drive is enabling me to be more tender in everything I do, and support for that is coming from the Esoteric Yoga In Stillness for Women, where we are inspired to touch everything tenderly, to notice the smallest compromise we make in our bodies, and from Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, where the tiniest of movements allow us to feel and connect deep within, and Chakra Puncture that helps me to feel in my body how I am living… we are so grace-fully supported by the Universal Medicine therapies.
Awesome Carmel, thank you for reminding me to move in tenderness and appreciate how gorgeous I am when I move in this energy. I know how I choose to move throughout my day affects how I am with myself and others. I am going to pay more attention to my quality of movements instead of going into push and drive to getting things done. This is a huge one for me to learn and continue to be more aware of.
I feel I cannot say often enough how valuable your description of going through the steps of recovery and recuperation are and how well you have been doing since.
Awesome Carmel, an amazing re-turn to feeling and accepting the woman you are; loved this line here: “I’ve let go of the push on many fronts, I am learning to honour what my body feels” — because as women so often do we have this ‘fight’ …to lose the fight, wins the glory of the true woman.
It’s very telling I agree Carmel the way we pursue tasks and goals in a driven way just because we can carry on in that way. It’s quite an indictment on our current way of life that we could say we are at our healthiest when we are ill these days. For at least then we are willing to stop and question and renounce. Beautiful the way you have done this to ensure no repeat of the energy you lived in previously.
Beautiful Carmel such an inspiring sharing of the true healing we can bring to ourselves by the things our body shows us when we are willing to see this. The real changes are now in your livingness in honouring yourself as a women and change your patterns of behaviour as you share so simply allowing harmony in your body lovingly..
It feels as though we spend our youth abusing our bodies and then so often we bemoan all the discomfort and pain as we age – but it does not have to be this way. As we as a humanity learn to stop and listen to our body and really feel what they are telling us we will begin to age more gracefully.
I agree, Sue, so how do we get that message across to the youngsters of today? Perhaps simply encouraging them to value themselves and not constantly strive for approval by achieving great feats of strength and stamina. Not running marathons or competing in athletic events, for example. But also simple postural mistakes, like when we/they spend too long bent over a computer.
I have felt the temptation after surgery to continue back to old patterns, but far better to accept the grace of the healing on offer and allow a new more true way of being to unfold.
I have had the same – there is a moment, which can last a day or two, where we have a relatively easy choice to go back to our ways or to live in a new, more harmonious way. I found it very helpful making the right choice and quite harmful continuing with the old way.
When I had a knee injury, a wise physiotherapist in the UK said to me once, ‘Be careful that because you feel so well you don’t do so much you make yourself worse’ and those words of caution have stayed with me and supported me through this latest recovery period.
It makes sense that how we live life will have an effect on the physical body…like a machine if we treat it roughly, bash it about, don’t oil it and care for it, it will break down and need repair. If we don’t treat our human bodies as the delicate frame they are then we too will incur problems that need to be healed. Your blog Carmel highlights what can happen as women when don’t fully nurture and take care of ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing.
Disharmony in the way that we live = disharmony in the body. There is no escaping this fact.
I can remember that as a backpacker I worked for a night in a brewery and despite the fact that I am a little woman I tried my hardest to do the work that the big burly lads were doing. I lifted crates and swung palettes around, determined to prove my strength as a woman. Had I continued to live with that male macho bravado then I am in no doubt that I would have had a major illness by now. I am delighted to report that even the sight of something that looks too heavy will get me instantly looking for help.
Thank you, Carmel, for sharing this amazing, intimate and healing development of your relationship with your body. It is very inspiring to hear about the power of taking responsibility and playing our part alongside the health care professionals we work with.
An intimate sharing on a very important condition that affects thousands of women. What is so profound here alongside your very determined desire to address the situation is an awareness of how you relate to your self as a woman, or not. It is so easy to slip into ‘doing’ mode and drive ourselves way beyond our physical limits, and we have invented many things to enable us to do this, coffee being a great example. What a stark contrast it is to read how a big part of your process here entails surrender, rest and respect for yourself as a delicate woman, qualities that are important to continue way beyond the actual operation and cherish in everyday life.
When we stop and really consider what we will do as women (and men) at the expense of our bodies and the impact that has on them, it is really quite shocking. So often we will override what we feel in order to ‘get something done’ rather than take a few minutes to have a rest or a walk which would ultimately rejuvinate us and support us to be more efficient with the time we have in which to do it. Then we have a tendency to complain that we are exhausted! Crazy really.
Thank you for your honesty and positive words. I have been inspired you by and your thoughts will be a great comfort to me before I have my surgery.
The honesty and understanding you share from your experience offers all women an opportunity to stop and reflect on aspects of the relationship we have with ourselves and our body. Your personal learning has been a great learning for all, thank you for sharing.
I very much appreciate your openness and transparency Carmel. It is a gift by reflection that gives to all – the healing you now offer all women and men is deep and far reaching as you be the beautiful woman that you are. Well done!
Gorgeous to read your story on a truly beautiful healing in the physical and the energetic facts that are the cause of all that is going on for us.
This is such an honest and intimate account of what you have been through Carmel. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure it will help and inspire many others.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Carmel. You honesty and openness offers such a wonderful opportunity to go deeper with my responsibility to care for myself.
I found myself reflecting on several different things when reading your blog. The first was what if someone does not have the money for private treatment? You were obviously concerned with what you were experiencing and seeing and felt you could not leave this from fear it would get worse. The NHS do a fantastic job and I know it has and is a continuing struggle for them but how many people are left not being treated because of money? Secondly what amazing support the people you are living with gave you to the point of evaluating when you got home what needs to be changed including not filling a kettle up! That is super supportive and thirdly a few weeks ago I found it hard just to be in the bath! To not think of things I had to do but just surrender so I can imagine what this has felt for you to do a 6 week programme of this after your operation. You are incredibly inspiring with just how much love and care you have treated yourself with throughout this process and thank you for sharing the readings from Serge and Natalie Benhayon as I am sure many many women can relate to what has been said here.
The NHS have long waiting lists, which means many women are walking around for months with prolapsed undercarriage, which must be uncomfortable. I know that for me, even having to wait only a few weeks, the anxiousness I felt and the effort of trying to hold everything in, set up some severe tension in my hips, which affected the way I walked afterwards until a friend pointed out that I was walking like Robocop and I made a point of letting the tension go. We all know how stretched the NHS is, and having people take more care of themselves early on in life can save a lot of hospitalisation later on, leaving beds and funds available for those who truly need it.
I agree we need to take care of our bodies so that we don’t have the illnesses and diseases later in life. Many ailments are because we have pushed our bodies to such an extent that they can no longer cope and like anything that is neglected or pushed to it’s limits sooner or later it will start to go wrong.
‘I have used the time recuperating to really listen to my body, to rest and not override anything it tells me.’ I really appreciate the example you are setting here Carmel. So often after a major procedure or illness we want to get back to “normal” as fast as possible overriding the signals our bodies are sending, not appreciating that our ‘normal’ was what precipitated the condition in the first place.
Yes, Michelle, the further away I am from the operation, the more ‘normal’ I feel and that includes feeling tired but pushing myself to finish something. I have to keep checking in and noticing that I really cannot do so much and that it is OK not to do so much. There is no-one telling me to do anything, it is all in my head. My body certainly is only telling me to eat, go for walks, stay warm and rest!
What a great example of seeking medical support. It’s still not so common to be honest about the state of our body. Not to ourselves, neither towards others. It takes a lot of selflove to just go and seek medical advice and support! I’m starting to be less ashamed about anything. As so beautifully is portraited in this blog, we’re never to do it on our own. No need for perfectionism. Etc. Super inspiring and a (loving) joy to read.
Thank you Carmel for sharing so intimately and deeply the process you have been through and the amazing honouring and loving way you have supported and looked after yourself. Life will never be the same as now you are cherishing yourself as a true women having come back to and felt your delicateness and sacredness and are an inspiration for all women to do the same and honour who we innately are with a beautiful understanding of what this really means.
What you share Carmel has reminded me that each element (person/business/institution) plays its part in any particular purpose or situation, and so therefore aren’t we all always responsible – not for doing it all alone, but for our part in the all.
Wow Carmel what an honest blog! To share your Prolapse and Hysterectomy experience so openly with others is very inspiring and also very helpful. Thank you so much for not holding back such important insights.
This is a great blog sharing to all women how important it is for her to honour themselves as a woman, rather than over ride, push, go into drive – Honour and reconnect back to the qualities of delicateness, stillness and sacredness that are a natural expression of her body.
What an incredibly raw sharing Carmel, thank you. All I could feel was how incredible it is to have a truly loving support network for us that allows space for one to just be all of them.
Kim the support from my local community of friends was extraordinary – no-one imposed, only brought what was asked for, and the nurses commented on how many friends I had as there was a different one each day! When local communities rally round to support those in need a lot can be achieved.
What a wake-up call Carmel, and yet a true gift in that it has made you more aware and responsible to not over-ride what the body is showing you and with this, the need to honour your sacredness. It is wonderful that you have shared your appreciation of the care and support you received from everyone as well. “This experience has shown me how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care, we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors. By taking care of myself I am making the most of the healing opportunity on offer. By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body…”
Through such experiences, we grow and learn, and as you have so beautifully acknowledged here too Carmel, in how you used “this opportunity to learn, heal and deepen my connection to myself as a woman.” And furthermore, in sharing so candidly with us, you are in turn offering the learning to us all, so that we may realise and not make the same choices, but instead have the opportunity more clearly offered to choose differently.
Such an open sharing of something that is usually shroaded in mystery and hushed tones. What a real support to so many in understanding this condition physically and energetically.
There will come a time in the future when we will all learn from our illnesses both energetically and medically and know that the way we live, express and harbour hurts and emotions is the cause of all our illness and disease. Everything we do outside the natural rhythm of the universe, causes an ill harmony that has to be rectified. This is such a great sharing Carmel, awesome that you had the money to go private and have the time afterwards to recover and really look after yourself.
We don’t know what we don’t know and reading your blog has given me an opportunity to deepen my understanding of something that can happen medically and how addressing it psychologically, energetically and medically is a powerful trifecta. It leaves no-one ‘responsible’ for doing it all – which could be the larger lesson for life!
To honour ourselves is to honour our body. The greatest present we can give to ourselves is to listen to our body and do everything we’re to do, from our body.
I/we do not choose so, of course, sooner or later our vehicle breaks down. As listening to our body is in fact very natural, yet the way most of us live life is the opposite of true care and love. There’s nothing wrong with this! But it should (or at least could) raise questions how it is possible that we’ve ‘developed’ an intelligence that defends the not taking care of our body to such an extent that we’re lying a lot of the time. This is said with no judgement as I’ve not looked very well after my body for most of my life. But it is to be expressed, otherwise we’ll never have the possibility to learn / evolve from the lies that are sold to us.
This is a valid point in general, to know one´s ‘worth and value before we do whatever we do’ otherwise what we do will define our worth and value.
Alex, this is how it has always been for me – I only ever valued myself by what I did and I am still struggling to let go of that, hence Natalie’s words being so timely. Not working or doing anything for six weeks was truly challenging because I was feeling so ‘useless’. For all of us women, the more we can connect deep inside to our sacredness, and be all of who we are, regardless of what we do, the more our natural stillness and nurturing energy will be available for all to feel.
What an amazing amazing experience Carmel, we like to imagine a perfect and easy life but it’s moments and experiences like these where we are offered to deepen our understanding about ourselves and life that are really worth cherishing – and your approach to both your healing and your body and your life is truly inspiring.
Talking about your experience is bringing to light how little we raise our girls to know themselves as delicate and precious, and that there is a way to move and go about our daily lives/tasks in respect of our precious quality. The simple statement you made “not knowing how much lifting heavy things was affecting my pelvic floor muscles” is so relatable and very revealing.
Thank you Carmel, reading your blog has opened up my awareness of the pelvic floor muscles and their role, something for me to ponder on.
Thank you, Carmel. How utterly beautiful that the body informs us when we are not living in the sacredness that it knows us to be.
I just love how illness and disease has so much to teach us if we allow it. Recently I heard a friend of mine say that despite living with terminal cancer she has never felt so well in her entire life. This to me is outstanding and mirrors what you are saying here Carmel about the beauty that occurs when we care more deeply for ourselves because of the medical condition that we have.
That is beautiful, Elizabeth, and I guess in the long term, it doesn’t matter what illness we have, the depth of our self love can only deepen and that carries on into our next life.
Thank you for sharing Carmel – it feels like you have taken full responsibility for what has happened and taken the opportunity to learn from it and deepen your connection with yourself which is awesome – I love the 6 week program you put yourself on. It is so exquisite when we deeply nurture ourselves.
The Esoteric Therapies are invaluable in both understanding the cause of illness, and also supporting the medical treatments that are necessary.
How our body responds to our choices, and how we then communicate and look after it is so interesting; every person could be and is a fascinating case study.
Wow Carmel, what a process you have been through. Another amazing story of how our bodies show us so much and offer us the chance to choose healing and self-love over self-destruction.
Thank you for sharing in detail how you have been dealing with your prolapse and the hysterectomy that followed, not many woman dare to share so openly as you do about this delicate subject. It should be known to all women that after a hysterectomy your female organs are still there energetically as so many women feel themselves less womanly after this kind of surgery. You even mention it has been a call to deepen your relationship with being the beautiful woman that you are, which makes sense and I guess not only for you but for so many more women. Truly inspirational Carmel!
It is interesting how I am now much more aware of feeling my ovaries and of myself as a woman generally, it is as if that part of me has woken up, like Sleeping Beauty, after a long sleep.
Everything that you describe Carmel breathes appreciation. That is very special to read. And only possible through the appreciation for yourself. This is gorgeous and beautiful. What I want to mention is how you write about the way we can support our doctors by taking care of ourselves. And how choosing self-care actually means that we appreciate our part in the healing process and that in this care for ourselves, we’re actually appreciating all that the doctors actually offer to us. An enormous change considered the demands that we put onto our medical system these days. Thank you for highlighting the responsibility and possibility we (could joyfully) have.
Yes, Floris, it felt very good to be cooperating so well with all the medical staff. They like you to be as independent as possible, to be up and about as soon as you can, especially if you are a potential thrombosis/stroke victim as I was, with an ongoing irregular heartbeat which could cause clots. Everyone was very supportive and caring. I am sure my being healthy before the operation helped me to recover so quickly, and taking care of myself afterwards helped too. How women cope who have children and families to look after, I don’t know, I imagine it is almost impossible for them to not lift anything, especially with small children.
The big thing that stands out for me while reading this is there is not an ounce of woe or victim coming through. You ace allowed healing, been surrendered and responsible – what an amazing way to start your new relationship !
Absolutely Vanessa. It’s inspiring to read what Carmel has let go of through this process, without looking for an ounce of sympathy. This really is what a new foundation for life can look like when we open ourselves up to true healing.
There is a beautiful openness to your sharing Carmel, and what is amazing as Vanessa reflected on is that there is not an ounce of woe or victimhood coming through…just an acceptance of what was needed to be healed, an understanding of why the condition manifested itself and an opportunity to make changes to the way you move and live as a woman.
Yes Vanessa so beautiful to feel how surrendered and accepting Carmel has been throughout her healing experience.
“A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being… I’ve let go of the push on many fronts, I am learning to honour what my body feels, I am learning to be more aware of what I feel, I am incredibly sensitive and can feel changes in energy.” This is so true of many of us… we are so much in the doing, often for everyone else, that we ignore/deny what we are truly feeling and sensing in the world around us. How beautifully supportive of your body to offer you this time of true healing Carmel.
I’m now in Week Nine since the operation, able to do most things and it is quite a challenge to not go back into the doing – I’m about to travel to another country and there’s lots to do, to finish, and to clear, and I need to keep checking the quality I am in. I can so easily go into drive and hardness, but as long as I keep the communication channels open between me and my body I can feel the impact of every choice I make. Then I have a further choice – do I override what I feel or surrender to my body’s wisdom. If I don’t want to make things worse, obviously it has to be body first. That is so completely opposite to how so many of us women live, but it has to change if we are to restore our stillness on earth.
Beautifully said Carmel, surrendering to our body’s wisdom which brings a deeper connection and one step towards God rather than away from Him.
Absolutely Carmel, your blog has stayed with me ever since reading it days ago. The body speaks volumes of how we live… it’s the truth we don’t always choose to be honest about. Everyday I hear and talk with other women who are exhausted with the constant running, drive to do more and fitting in all the demands from the outside. Having women like you share so openly how this way of living impacts on us all and what changes you have made to live differently, is so important for women to read. It has definitely stopped me in my tracks.
Yes, Aimee, there are many women who are living with exhaustion, I was definitely one of them. We have physical exhaustion from fitting too many things into one day but also psychological exhaustion from the constant inner battle of self criticism, self-effacing, holding back on our true expression. Not only that, I was exhausting myself with constant emotional reactions to life – I don’t do so much of that now, but I still find myself thinking ahead or looking back and every thought creates tension in my body which is physically exhausting. There is a lot going on, and I am aware that my body can be more in harmony with itself when I approach everything from a deep inner stillness.
I think because these things are never discussed, there is no understanding generally – I was very fortunate to have access to people who could help me to develop awareness as well as offering a lot of support.
Thank you for this incredibly intimate, open sharing of your healing process Carmel. You have written on behalf of all women and the reading you shared is one that offers a healing for many others too . . . to know our worth and value before anything we do.
I agree Vicky, it is a beautifully intimate piece of writing, and it is the honesty in it which is so profound. Everyone loves to read how others manage life, and in Carmel sharing this she provides the opportunity for us all to learn something about managing our health to live closer to optimal wellness.
It is logical to me that we get problems in the body from how we have lived. So we can get away with things initially but the body brings us back to the reality of what we’ve done. The liver of a person who has been drinking heavily will change or the lungs of a smoker will get dirty with the polluted air they are taking in. A sports person will get aching joints because of pushing themselves hard, as will the joints of a very overweight person. It is great that you got the understanding of connecting to your femaleness with your surgery, it is such a fantastic healing to give yourself Carmel.
‘he also said that it was showing me to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’ Carmel I so love this statement because I have seen the beautiful woman that you are and have been blown away by it. What an indictment on society that beautiful girls grow up with such a lack of self worth that they reject themselves, not understanding or fearing what being a woman is, when this beauty is our natural birthright!
Your honest blog is an amazing reflection for anyone who is open to true healing, both as a patient as well as the medical staff. The self-responsibility taken in your own recovery process is an inspiration for all.
‘..That made sense, I have always seen myself as a ‘person’ and ignored the feminine side,’ I deeply appreciate your honesty Carmel and your sharing and insights into the prolapse you had. As a woman I can so relate to how lack of self worth can lead to a rejection of being a woman and to being disconnected from the body. Learning to re-connect, appreciate my body and listen to it has allowed me to go deeper in my appreciation of being a woman and what this actually means.
I love how the body so quickly responds to deep care taken of it and how it can heal with this. Carmel your body has clearly responded to the care you are taking in its healing process rather than drive and push to get well and over ride what is needed, and now this is a basis you are continuing with, honouring yourself as a woman.
Carmel this puts a whole new light on ladies who have hysterectomies and the relationship you have built with yourself after the operation speaks volumes. Especially as many feel less after the operation and feel their identity as a woman has been taken from them.
Yes Carmel so beautifully shows that being empowered is not about “beating illness” and carrying on as before. We can choose to embrace the lessons our body and life have in store for us and deepen our understanding, our awareness and our ability to live our true grace and power.
It is incredible really how big the push in us as women can be to be recognised by what we do and how much we can do even though if this is at the expense of our body.
What an incredible sharing Carmel,it makes perfect sense that there is always an energetic reason behind an illness, when our bodies are letting us know how we are truly living. I had a burst appendix last year and that was my indulgence of holding back.
It is quite incredible Carmel that through the process of ‘losing’ your womb and cervix you have been able to connect more deeply to yourself as a woman. It just goes to show how many images and beliefs we let stand in the way of the energetic truth. Your experience is inspiring because it is showing us that it is never too late to correct an ill way of living. I also love how you were not fighting to ‘save’ your womb and cervix by not having a hysterectomy but that you were able to come to a deep acceptance and appreciation for what this process was able to unfold for you. There is something here for us all, thank you.
Sad though, isn’t it, that we have to lose something before we can truly appreciate it. But, as you say, so lovely to have the opportunity to make a different choice about how to live from here on.
It is quite incredible how having any body issue, be it a virus, illness requiring treatment or surgery, brings an absolute stop moment or period of time and grace to reconnect to the truth of the way it is. Such an opportunity to heal and bring more of our true essence to life.
I love the attention to detail you bring to everything you describe here Carmel. Like a surveyor taking a landscape in, you have a brilliant overview of the whole of you. And from this place you wisely say and show us all that life is not about the things we do but the quality we choose to let run through. Sounds simple and it is.
Very recently (I say very considering I’m nearly 57 and this only happened maybe three months ago) I had the honour of being shown an image of the pelvic floor muscles. I say honour because I was blown away by the intricate beautiful design that has gone into supporting our femaleness – all of our cervix, uterus, bladder, bowel and everything else. Once seeing this I understood so much about how truly marvellous is our beautiful femaleness and could connect so much more with the fact that every movement impacts on this grand design that is us. So reading your article Carmen on lifting heavy things is very timely, and sharing this realty with everyone is truly important, because while we might be able to over-ride while young doesn’t mean the effects aren’t building up over the years.
Our body is so revealing of the choices we have made in our lives and whether we agree or not it is always the truth.
“it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” This is a beautiful sharing Carmel and applies to us all. So much can be learned from your sharing and how we live in drive, and push can affect the body.
Even taking the time to write and share your blog Carmel is love in action. Thank you so much – a healing for us all
This is a beautiful blog – talking easily about a normally private subject and giving directions how to deal with the subject in a loving way.
Today I had a nursing experience that confirmed for me that our essence is held in our physical body, but is not dependent on it. We can have many parts of our anatomy removed, including all of our pelvic organs and still hold the essence as a woman wholly in tact. An honour to experience.
Thank you Carmel, reading this has made me listen more to my body, and take more care in the way that I lift things.
Thank you Carmel for sharing so openly and honestly your experience with prolapse. I did not know how this condition affects people until reading your blog. What a huge healing it has been for you, with the support of Universal Medicine and Western medicine, making the changes within yourself the way you have dealing with the root energetic cause.
What an amazing opportunity you have been given Carmel, to start afresh and with the humbleness and appreciation of knowing that your body will let you know if you stray away from your new found tenderness.
We can support ourselves so much by asking for help from Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Practitioners when we need it, so our recovery is full on all levels, energetically as well as physically. When we know there is a deeper message with all illnesses, we can choose to get a deeper learning and healing with whatever is happening. The illnesses we get are exactly what we need for our correction.
This sounds like an awesome opportunity for you to look after your body and set this as a marker for the future. I see this as an example of how getting sick can be a loud message for us to look at how we are living, and in this case, that it is not about intellectual intelligence but full body intelligence. And add to that the prompt to look at how we honour ourselves as women.
Testimonies of healing like yours serve as role models for others and informing everyone involved in the process from patient to doctor, relatives and friends on what true healing is all about. The patient (or actually an open, willing and real person) educates the system.
Its amazing how things like this – prolapses and the exercising of pelvic floor muscles is totally over looked – I for one was totally unaware of it until I started to get hints here and there from friends who had kids for example – its like this thing no one talks about and yet not having an awareness of our pelvic floor regions can have serious health consequences.
True Rebecca, and what I love about Carmel’s blog is that it is so candid, it’s the type of thing we need to be able to talk about as openly as say a lump, cyst, stiff joint, because I’d say that this is a hugely common issue for many women later in life – that we have to date not wanted to talk about because of the seemingly private nature of it.
As a man, how much attention and awareness do I have on my pelvic floor (area)? Not a lot if I’m honest. Isn’t it actually obvious that if we’re not giving attention to (certain) parts of our body, that one day that part will break down or show symptoms of illness / disease? This makes absolute (!!) sense to me. Why haven’t we been educated that taking genuine care of our bodies is actually the most natural thing to do. And it also is in fact very loving towards ourselves. I’m actually asking myself why I don’t want to be (more) loving with myself? I can feel the joy to allow myself to be more loving with myself. Yet, I also see that I haven’t consciously lived this. As if being joyful with myself is something ‘strange’. I’m definitely inspired by the way Carmel took care of her own body. Inspired to connect deeper and in that being more honest and appreciative.
“I have always seen myself as a ‘person’ and ignored the feminine side”. Yes, me too Carmel and my health, particularly my periods, really suffered as a consequence. The Esoteric Healing Modalities have given me immense support in enabling me to fully appreciate my femininity and respect myself as a woman first and foremost. The consequence is that a long history of agonising periods has completely gone, as I no longer ask my body to harden up and do things that oppose my innate tenderness or override my physical capabilities.
Men don’t have that issue, though lately, as my awareness and sensitivity increase I get physical symptoms very quickly when something is coming up – perhaps women are simply, through their body, more sensitive and aware and get clearer signals while many men may not notice anything until it is very late.
What a beautiful confirmation by Serge Benhayon of the true and gorgeous woman that you are Carmel. What a great teacher the body is, when we choose to listen to it.
“I already knew what had caused it and he (Serge Benhayon)agreed, adding that it was me not in my full expression, in fact pushing against being who I naturally am and he also said that it was showing me to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level’. “
Our bodies are like the elephant that never forgets. As we age, the lifestyles we chose, catch up with us. We are built to have a limited lifespan, as all things do! Through our choices we are in control of what shape, we end up with, good or bad!
Thank you Carmel for this sharing, the word endorse absolutely jumped off the page at me, when you mentioned being advised to ‘…endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level.’ , that stopped me to consider how many do endorse being a woman and not in words but in how we are with ourselves and how we live, I can feel there is more to explore with this, after all how do I act as a woman and is it in a way that absolutely endorses that fact?
We women are usually better at bringing ourselves and each other down when by celebrating and honouring we can truly endorse being a woman.
Its amazing how many stories I hear about women and young girls having something medially wrong with either their breast or reproductive system, but their lack of connection means it takes a long time to notice – even just the normal functions of the woman’s body through the monthly cycle are not understood
Yes it amazed me how much more I could feel inside my body as a result of having my attention brought to it! It highlighted just how disconnected I was.
Yes it is amazing Carmel how deeply we can connect to our bodies when our bodies ‘force’ us to take a look! I had an abnormal pap smear a couple of years ago, and with the fear of it being cancer, I immediately connected to my cervix quite deeply. When it turned out to not be cancer, I didn’t bother connecting to it in the same way – how arrogant is that?! Your sharing has been a timely reminder to truly appreciate and honour my body – thank you Carmel.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience. We can all learn from this. As woman we often forget about honouring our body e.g. avoiding lifting heavy objects, especially if we can, or if we are used to doing this because our job requires it and there is no-one around to help us. We don’t realise the detrimental effects it may have on our female organs until it is too late.
I love how real you get here – I imagine many people would not share what you’ve experienced. But as always, there is a great lesson to be learned and it’s wonderful to read how you’ve continued to make loving choice after loving choice to support yourself. And that you went with what you felt was necessary, even when you were told otherwise.
After reading this very important piece yesterday I decided I would ask for assistance to move a heavy object.
What was offered back was such a lovely reply full of kindness, I cried. This in itself is healing for me, that there are people willing to support just waiting for me to open up and let them in. Knowing I’m not alone and needing to do everything on my own is truly supportive for my whole well-being.
This is gorgeous Sandra – bringing self love and self care by opening up to ask others for help. We can only ever be alone by our choosing to cut ourself off from others and refusing to accept the truth of the interconnectedness there is with the all, in our divine essence.
“Knowing I’m not alone and needing to do everything on my own is truly supportive for my whole well-being”.
I love what you have shared Stephanie “. . . the truth of the interconnectedness there is with the all. . .”. When I say no to this truth I’m discovering I’m saying yes to an energy that feeds separation and self-identification. There is no love or joy in separation.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience, I can relate to doing heavy lifting and pushing my body, because of it I had to have hernia operation before I would listen to my body, this was a big wake up call for me to stop and consider where my body is at and how what I am about to do will affect it, I am much more tender with my body these days.
Thank you Carmel for sharing in detail the process of your surgery and everything that went along with it. You show how very important it is that every moment needs to be honoured and how the care for ourselves is an immense healing factor.
I find your reading interesting, it is about connecting more to your feminine side, which is something that also seems to be important for men, to be more in touch with femininity, although this is not endorsed by society where men are regaled for being tough and strong. So what is the benefits of being feminine, is this in fact something that is most natural in men as well as women, and that by woman being most feminine it draws men to be gentler and more tender also, something we see when men are around babies, but something we struggle to replicate in other situations, yet it seems could benefit our health and wellbeing and that of society as a whole were we to embrace this more strongly.
Thank you Stephen, your words highlight to me the importance of us women being able to truly express our feminine from the natural stillness and how that helps men to be in touch with their innate tenderness.
A very enlighting story that has many gems we can all learn from.
I might go do some pelvic floor muscle exercises now…
Yes Henrietta, I was feeling the same thing! Thankyou Carmel for sharing this and the implications that are possible when we ignore the physical symptoms our bodies are showing us, and ‘carry on regardless’. An inspiring read for any woman of any age.
This is a truly inspiring story of how western medicine along with complementary medicine and the individual taking full responsibility for their choices and condition can bring about true healing. And I’m sure your approach Carmel would have been very inspiring for the medical profession, and perhaps even restored their faith in humanity, when so often they see patients who just want to be fixed without taking any responsibility.
Your inspirational sharing Carmel is highlighted for me in the way in which you have developed your relationship with yourself – the key to taking true responsibility. Thank you so much.
It seems that when we are prepared to be open and honest with ourselves, then we inspire the same from others – even the chef was open to providing exactly what it was you needed to support your healing Carmel.
What strikes me in your sharing Carmel, is the honesty and openness you bring to your sharing is a reflection of the honesty you looked at yourself – in being open about your choices, what was truly supportive and what wasnt, and seeking support as and when it was needed. Very inspiring to read, thank you.
It’s amazing how we can’t get away with abusing our bodies. Whether it be tomorrow or in 20 years, we will feel what we have dumped into the physical body.
It feels really interesting that despite having your physical female parts taken away, this has brought you to a deeper appreciation of the delicate woman you are. I absolutely LOVE the way we get our deepest healing from the combination of Western Medicine and Esoteric Medicine working together.
The body is the marker of truth – Serge Benhayon. This blog is highlighting the truth of these words. In myself I notice that I’ve approached this truth as quite negative, as a warning, as something ‘heavy’. Now I’m noticing that it isn’t judgemental – at all. That truth is simply truth. Without judgement. But facing facts from observing the facts. How amazing is it to read that there’s always a choice to change the relationship with our body to a more caring and loving one, perhaps even an adoring one. Thank you once again Carmel.
This is an amazing sharing Carmel and an inspiring approach how to deal with health issues! And yes, I can relate, that it is hard to stay at home resting and really give the body time to regenerate, I see lots of people not able to do that and coming into work in spite of being sick. It shows how much in motion we are as a society, not being able to enjoy resting and being with ourselves.
Learning to appreciate yourself as the woman you are in full during the process of illness and healing is exactly the way to truly heal and not just recover back to the state of being that led to the illness in the first place, much more it is a re-dis-covery of what has been lost for long but never really left you – healing is returning by discarding what has separated.
It is amazing the changes we can make to our lives when we listen to our body and honour what we feel as you did Carmel once you realised the extent of your prolapse. It can be so easy to override the body and dismiss the messages we get. I know it has taken me a long time to even begin to honour myself as a woman so it makes sense that many of the illnesses and diseases around the uterus and cervix and ovaries is because we have not taken the steps to live lovingly as a woman.
That this was showing you to “endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that, to a much deeper and far reaching level” and “for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” From what you have shared about your life leading to the diagnosis, it all makes sense. Most of the women I know live the same way as you have described and these gorgeous statements would also so accurately apply to them (me included). Do we need to wait until some physical issue makes us stop?
Carmel I love how you shared that “We had already agreed a kitchen plan where things were at an accessible height for me” it shows the level of detail, care and love that you and your housemates live with an the care that you’ve taken to support yourself pre, during and post operation. How incredible and what an inspiration to share the practicality of care and love that is possible when we are open to living love.
I’ve been feeling more deeply this last week or so the connection between appreciating myself as a woman and self worth – how self worth is nurtured in appreciation.
Thank you Carmel for this honest and down to earth sharing. You say – ‘After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ – This is my expereince too, my body is a radar to energy and it is consistently telling me whether my choices are in honour of myself and hence everyone else – or not.
How gorgeous to read of how deeply honouring of your body you are now Carmel. There is a sense of more delicateness coming to the fore. Thank God, the body keeps on communicating until it finally gets our attention and we act upon its innate wisdom and begin to make wiser choices!
“By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body, which will stand me in good stead in the future. After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too”.
Thank you Carmel for your indepth sharing of your experience, and a great reminder to many of us women to take heed of what our bodies are telling us. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone including ourselves, so there is no need to push our bodies by lifting heavy items just because we always have. This is something that I have done in recent times causing myself an injury, but thanks to the amazingly simple but effective exercises prescribed by an esoteric connective tissue practitioner, has healed.
Our bodies are amazing and when there is a message to deliver, it is just delivered. No planning, travel arrangements or anything on the outside can get in the way when a stop is needed.
You have covered all bases Carmel, seeking medical attention and also delving deeper to the energetic reasons as to why it has occurred.
I keep being struck how simple and sensible it is what you are writing and how often we are not able to sustain this sense and sensibility.
Christoph I was actually going to write something very similar. There is so much that Carmel has shared that is super simple and at the same time makes so much sense. One thing in particular that struck me was how, when we do not live in a way that is honouring for ourselves as women, this then affects the parts of the body that are particular to women.
Thank you Carmel for your beautifully honest sharing about this very significant phase of your life; it was so very inspiring to read in many ways and I know that it will support many women who are faced with a similar situation. For me, the big, in fact huge, message is that our body is so very precious and ‘breakable’ and if we choose to live in a way that continually disregards it, it will eventually bring us to a stop and demand our attention, as it did with you, and has definitely done with me many times in this life. Learning to listen to my body’s wisdom is the best choice I could ever make and it is never too late to learn to do so.
Thank you Carmel. Every time I read a sharing where a person claims and honour’s the deeper energetic meaning of dis-ease I am blown away by how amazing our bodies are in their response to the choices we make. Every moment offers space to listen, hold and heal.
Carmel you have showcased just how true healing can occur. Not only focusing on the physical, you have looked at the psychological, as well as the energetic side too. This is how we can truly change and heal that which causes these things to arise in the first place. Very courageous and inspiring.
I love here Carmel that you have stayed open to really stopping and considering the reasons why you developed your condition and not just ‘got it fixed’ and moved on which is easy to do with the marvels of modern medicine. We have so many great solutions these days (and thankfully so) but are we really listening to our bodies and what they are telling us?
It is very beautiful and touching to read something that has been written in such an open and loving manner for the benefit of supporting others.
‘I have always seen myself as a ‘person’ and ignored the feminine side’ – This must have been huge to realise, learn and change Carmel. There are so many women today who are treating their bodies in very harsh, disregarding and un-nurturing ways in order to achieve ‘success’, meet particular expectations or compete with men in business etc., but as you’ve shared this can have serious consequences down the line, and it’s so important to appreciate and look after our femininity and sacredness.
I agree, Susie, I have been learning that ‘success’ is not about how much we have achieved in our doings but in how much of our true selves we let ourselves be.
Thank you for the honesty with which you demonstrate that our bodies are always reflecting our lifestyle choices and we can start choosing to take much better care of them at any point and be committed to being in dialogue with our bodies all the time. If we were to connect to this then it would make a massive difference to our struggling health services. Sharing the simple steps that you have taken to support yourself through this process is great but also how you acknowledge the huge shift in how you feel about yourself feels to me like the key to support women to make consistently different choices and truly take care of themselves.
Carmel, thank you for sharing your experience with having a prolapse and hysterectomy. What Natalie Benhayon shared with you is so very beautiful, ‘it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do’, I can feel that how we approach life would be very different if we lived by this, we would honour ourselves and our bodies in everything we do, for instance not pushing and carrying things that are too heavy.
Dear Carmel, you have shared so much here and offer us all a very healing way forward. So often we want the doctor/surgeon just to take it all away, fix it for us, make it all better so that we don’t have to look our part in our ill health. I too have been a ‘strong’ woman, petite in frame and determined to prove to the world that I am no ‘push over’, much to the detriment of my health, my spine and my delicate female body. Meeting Universal Medicine changed my entire outlook on what it means to be a woman and my responsibility for my own health. Thank you for sharing your journey very openly, a much needed awareness of the ‘how, why and what I can do about it’ approach that does just abandon it to others to deal with a self imposed situation.
“A huge change for me has been letting go of my identity with doing and to focus on just being.” What a ‘biggie’ that is!
Carmel, thank you for sharing your very personal story. So many women will benefit as much as I have from reading this as there are not too many women who can say that we truly ” . . .endorse being a woman, and a beautiful one at that” . . . before even taking this to a much deeper and far reaching level. And how many of us live and work so that our worth and value is known before anything we do?
Carmel, sharing your experience openly and in such detail is a tremendous gift to the reader. Too often we don’t tell it as it is, we hide, we suffer in silence. Through you I now understand fully what a prolapse is. I have experienced a hysterectomy and know what that feels like. But this account of your experience is a master class on the benefits of esoteric and conventional medicine working together, supporting ourselves before and after surgery and asking for help so we’re supported by others. Amazing and thank you.
You are the quintessential example of how the blend of modern and esoteric medicine work together, and how everyone involved in the process gets a healing.
The wisdom delivered from Natalie Benhayon stands out for me while reading this blog this morning. ‘Knowing my worth and value before anything I do’ I have recently become much more aware of, aware of those moments when I am seeking recognition from outside of me and even though I am in the momentum of the doing it is great to feel it and then soon after the clocking of what has happened I make a choice to stop and listen to what my body is asking of me realising that nothing is greater than me on the inside.
Again this blows me away, someone’s frankness and honesty – this will support so many women world wide. It’s also asking me to take more care of myself and those parts of my body that are not visible.
An extraordinary and fascinating sharing of something rarely discussed or even known about. I love the support you not only offered yourself but that which was all around you throughout the entire process… a truly gorgeous example of what is possible in the combination of western and complementary medicine and the true love and care of people for each other…. and our ability to learn and grow from whatever we face in life.
“…work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” – Natalie Benhayon
Every woman, and indeed every man, should have these words as a daily reminder, in a world where we’ve been by and large, raised, educated and conditioned to put all that we ‘do’ way before the precious beings that we are.
And so there is such beauty in this process in which you are in Carmel – that through truly attending to your own healing, the woman that you are is being restored to her rightful position, never to be compromised in the face of what the world may ask of her, and willing to let go of that which she has imposed upon herself.
How deeply amazing it is, to read of someone’s story of a prolapse and the surgery that followed – none of which would have been ‘easy’ in the body to deal with – and yet feel that the greater truth which permeates every word here is your willingness to truly embrace the healing on offer Carmel.
True healing being about far more than physical surgery and recovery alone, and incorporating every part of your being. Thank-you so much for sharing this.
It strikes me a prolapse is a metaphor for being unable to hold ourselves as a woman.
Food for thought, thank you, Victoria
Thank you for sharing Carmel, This is an example of full, all-rounded healing when there is both the work on the physical body and the energetic understanding.
And Carmel, Nathalie’s comment it GOLD, and stands true for all of us as women: “It is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.” – this we can never forget! It is one thing for me to constantly be reminding myself of and really putting into practice!
This is an amazing account of how Western Medicine and Universal Medicine complement each other so much. You are so brave to share all of this with the world, it is one of the biggest gifts I could receive, as a woman that pushes herself way to often and I also own and work in cafes, I cannot thank you enough, I will never forget the wisdom of what you have shared.
Carmel, what a beautiful, candid and honest and valuable sharing! Prolapses are often not discussed and many more women have prolapses than we realise. A prolapse can happen in the bowels, in the uterus or the vagina or the bladder. Some are asymptomatic and others are very uncomfortable or even painful!
To read your experience brought me to tears – because of the beauty and grace that you handled the situation with, the full responsibility that you took with it on all levels (acknowledging the over work of your body etc), but also because it made me realise how much we do push ourselves as women and how little we value ourselves. You talked about simply doing those things because you could – and this has often been my approach – so it is a sharing that inspires me to re-assess how I do things and why. A very valuable inspiration for us all as women to deeply care for ourselves and realise how much we actually are worth. Thank you Carmel!
Carmel I love your honesty and your absolute commitment to healing on all levels. I admit to doing some pelvic floor exercises this morning, inspired by your article which shows the responsibility we all carry to care for ourselves and to seek and accept the support of others when needed. It is warming to the heart when a person is graciously open is asking for support and appreciative when it is given. I love that even the hospital cook was willing to prepare the simple foods which you knew would support your recovery. We are drawn to support people who have this quality of deep self-worth – and it is not to be confused with the neediness of a highly demanding self-centred person who is acting from fear.
Often major surgery is seen for us as a “fix it” procedure. Taking the cause of the problem away and getting back to the function of life. With this blog we have been offered an opportunity to look further into what aspects of our life style over the years has lead to the accumulation of dis-ease and the illness in the long term. There is an opportunity to heal deeply when we ask more questions with bucket loads of honesty.
Your personal story and open way of sharing is there to help all. Thank you Carmel.
A great example of how we can be with illness and disease. You embraced every possible support available – from conventional to esoteric medicine, community, preparing for and recovering from an operation, and your willingness to look at and heal what caused it is very inspiring to feel. And those things that we do ‘because we can’ really pile up, don’t they? Who would imagine what a tiny dosage of disregard would lead to when we end up with millions of those moments over the years? This is definitely a stop and take notice moment for me.
I think that’s the point, Fumiyo, we disregard it thinking it is small but they do indeed all add up, so it goes to show how important are the details of self care in the smallest of ways.
Appreciating ourselves as women first before the things we do is a complete turn around in the way many of us think. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly Carmel. Its evident this experience has had a profound effect on you and the way you are now choosing to live and connect to the woman you are.
Yes it has shown me the many ways I use for self identification and gratification. Letting go of the push to do and not feeling useless has been challenging, but my body has clearly shown me what is important to care about. I will confess to being a bit disappointed with myself in terms of progress with creating a good self-supportive rhythm, but it has been lifetimes of disregard and lack of self care and self care is what this life is all about for me to learn.
You have been through a major surgical operation Carmel and yet it sounds like you have recuperated without any complications. I love the way you have enlisted the help of people around you and also been very active with the self care choices you made before, during and after the operation. This to me is what holistic healthcare is all about.
“Knowing our worth is there before anything we do” just stood out for me while reading this Carmel. As tiny babies, we expect nothing from them and we love them deeply. I know this is possible in adult life too and will continue to honour myself with this knowing as I raise my daughter with this knowing too. Thank you for your words of wisdom and frank sharing.
That is true and makes us open to receive love from others.
When I read that you postponed your emigration to another country because you chose to take care of yourself, I actually was stopped in my tracks. I’ve actually never heard somebody choosing preventive care of the body over a planned emigration. That in itself is worth being published and printed to allow others to be inspired by this loving choices. Thank you Carmel for being a true role model!
Carmel, this is so profound, honouring and healing for All women and men. You have woken me up to the deeper purpose of not lifting heavy things with an awareness I haven’t had before. The publishing of this article is divinely timed as I pack boxes and move house. I’ve been wondering how to move a heavy object and included me in the lift – not now! Enjoy being with your lovely, divine and deeply honoured self as humanity is calling for more and more reflections of this lived way of being so we don’t continue to self harm.
Hi Sandra, yes, packing boxes and even suitcases for holidays is going to be a challenge. I find that, with my increased awareness of my pelvic floor, I can feel as soon as I try to lift anything, the effect it has in my body – it could be a bag of shopping (I use more bags now with less in each one), a pile of wet washing, or a heavy water jug, I am learning to do more journeys with lighter loads. Also keeping things at waist height so I don’t have to bend low, simple physical awareness of how I move my body, feeling my spine, my legs, feeling everything and especially my fingertips – my nails grew long while I was recuperating – they are a bit shorter now, which is a small but significant indicator of how I am treating my hands and a reminder to be even more tender.
I agree Carmel – finger nails are a great indicator and reflection of how I’m treating my body.
We have some amazingly accessible signs and indicators built in to offer awareness of how we are with ourselves.
I had no idea what all this meant and reading this article has been very informative to say the least. I’m not sure I have seen something so open and descriptive of a process like this and I can see the blend and support of traditional medicine with Universal Medicine. It is also great to read about someone who is willing to be a part of the process as well and not just give themselves over to the system. I mean with eating, resting and generally supporting themselves through a major operation like this. As is said, “After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.”
Thank you Carmel for sharing with us intimately what you have walked through. Your openness and willingness to connect more deeply to what was behind your physical ailment, shows how you can work with mainstream medicine to support your own medical condition. You shared how connected the body is to how we live. I read from the beginning to the end with great interest, and by the end had a much deeper understanding of how our relationship with ourselves, how we care about ourselves, how we live affects our body. In this case, the ‘woman’ was being neglected and it had an impact on the body. Beautiful and inspiring.
Spot on Karoline – Carmel’s willingness to share intimate details opens up the conversation for all of us as women and men and gives us an opportunity to really reflect deeply on how we live and how this can impact on our body, and also how we can so gracefully handle things – as a preventative, but also in case we have to have an operation. This is super supportive no matter where we are at!
It sounds and feels like a very deep healing for you Carmel and that you have embraced this opportunity in full, to feel and go with what was there. Having a hysterectomy is a big operation and it isn’t spoken about. Women have a hysterectomy and then ‘get back into it, back to normal’ often without the support you’ve had to understand what the reading is. Thanks for sharing.
It has been very interesting, Sandra, to observe how my mind did exactly that – seeing it as no big deal, but my body was telling me very much otherwise – it was very tired – I’d go have a shower and feel exhausted afterwards. The smallest thing would exhaust me and even though I was eating well, I lost weight. That showed me that my body was going through a lot and I needed to respect that. I was fortunate in that I had no young family to care for, no job to get back into, so have been able to fully concentrate on ‘getting better’ but now I am feeling so much better I have to be particularly careful to continue taking great care of my body from here on.
Thank you Carmel for your honest sharing. Healing on every level is possible when we take the responsibility for our part in it, as you beautifully reflect here.
Thank you Carmel. I love hearing these stories of what I would call true medicine, where the patient takes full responsibility for their own healing whilst working in fully with Western Medicine. Our body is such a great marker and tells us exactly what we can and cannot do; our job is to just listen to it. I love how you allowed others to support you in your recovery; this to me feels like a huge part of your healing and a great reminder for us all to allow ourselves to be loved.
I was also touched by the community support Carmel accepted from others. So often we do not reach out at these times of need and ‘soldier on’, get back to business. Accepting and allowing others to support us is a big part of our healing. Loving ourselves and allowing love in is key.
Allowing others to support me has helped me to feel the importance and the joy of letting people in, to admit to being vulnerable, to let myself be seen from the inside out, to be transparent, to let of of any image I think I want to portray, and simply being me. It has been and still is, an awesome experience.
Since meeting Serge I have become so much more aware of how I treat my body… this alone has made a huge difference in my life and my body has healed many issues because of it. I am no longer in constant avoidance of taking responsibility for my body and life by searching for something outside that might ‘fix’ me with out me having to change how I’m doing things!
What an experience Carmel! There is so much we can all learn from your experiences here. Although someone in your shoes could choose to feel loathing of what the body is showing, it is actually inspiring how you claimed every step along the way as your own, accepting of your past choices that led you there and embracing the new opportunities the body was allowing by clearing all these patterns anew.
Another truly inspiring experience of what can happen when we claim our place in our own healing rather than waiting to be fixed. The key is then to take all that has been learnt about, and established in, our realtionship with ourself onward to our everyday living as a new marker. We can be super compliant and honouring of our body during the process of surgery and recovering however once back into life this honouring and awareness can ‘turn down’. Fantastic sharing Carmel – thank you.
Yes, Julie, it is important to keep hold of what has been learned and not to go backwards. When our bodies feel weak, it is easy to take care but as we get stronger, we forget and that’s where the danger lies, that we return to our old ways of being. This has been an important stop moment for me and one I don’t wish to repeat with a deeper level of illness further down the road.
Carmel – thank you for sharing your story- as a woman I can really learn from the simple choice of embracing who I am as a woman. And I too was the heavy lifter just get on with it type so it really stopped me to read. Add to that the fact I’ve had a baby and pelvic floor exercises went out the window – so feels like a real calling to deepen our appreciation for our bodies as women.
Carmel thank you for sharing such a personal experience and allowing us all to understand and deeply appreciate what is possible when we take our responsibility for how we live, we do our part in our healing and combine that with the great skills of the medical profession.
Beautiful Carmel, thank you for sharing this. I love how you say we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors, it’s really great how you truly embraced the essential support and treatment they had to offer but also are doing your part too in being aware of how you are living.
Rather than leaving everything to the hands of another, be that Conventional or even in the hands of an Esoteric Healing practitioner when we actively work with them and play our part in the healing the results are so much more richer and inspiring to others.
What a wonderful experience and sharing for us all to learn from. It does show us how much we can support Western Medicine in our health care – we don’t need to leave it all up to the doctors, but importantly too Carmel the support you accepted from your local friends and community throughout your recovery, was a precious gift to yourself also.
You have clearly been through something incredibly huge but there’s not a scrap of feeling sorry for yourself in anything you express. In fact I can feel what a joy and a blessing this entire process has been for you. What an inspiration beautiful Carmel.
What a shock it must have been – all of a sudden being presented with a bill for one’s feats of endurance and physical prowess.We do champion these traits but your very honest story begs the question: at what price? And moreover, what is wrong with asking for help?
What is wrong with asking for help? Absolutely nothing! Having said that, the force is very strong in us to prove we are independent, that we don’t need anybody else to help us. It can form our whole identity, it gives us recognition because we value being an individual, which is against all the principles of Brotherhood.
Thankyou Carmel, I was unaware of what a vaginal prolapse meant and I appreciated your openness in sharing the fullness of the whole journey. I also really appreciated the deeper understanding of how this related to you as a woman and the readings you received from Serge and Natalie Benhayon. There is so much for us to all learn as we return to who we truly are as women and men, and I feel truly inspired by your story and life – thank you.
The open way this article is written leaves no room for judgement of self for what has occurred. What is present is a huge amount of space for understanding and self care.
You are amazing Carmel, accepting all of this with grace and diligently working through all that was necessary. Letting go of the need to be identified by our skills and abilities is huge so good on you for going for it and meeting the challenge of doing nothing for 6 weeks other than resting and caring for yourself.
Carmel there is an absolute wealth of lived wisdom in your sharing and with the millions upon millions of people worldwide who have medical procedures, it’s a shame that they can’t all read about your experience, in order to help them to see the value in bringing self care and deep responsibility into our medical procedures.
What an opportunity to connect with who you truly are — the tender, sensitive, divine woman we all know and feel when you express with that quality. Thank you for your great good sense and example of the way to support and nurture yourself during your recovery, a true aid to living what you know to be true from now on. It is so valuable for all women to hear this message in these days of the majority thinking that strength comes from force and endurance rather from the power of sensitivity, tenderness and fragility, and owning those qualities in ourselves. Nothing can destroy or even touch us then, when we live from our inner heart and essence.
Yes there is definitely a strong force in society that markets or sells us the idea that strength, force and endurance are good qualities for us humans to live. We are slowly learning that for both men and women, feeling and living with our natural tenderness is the true way.
I like pondering on the difference between”power” and “force”. It is possible to feel the qualities in the sounds of the words themselves. Force has a hardness and rushiness to it, coming out of the mouth pushed through a small opening and forward going direction, but power grows inside the mouth and rolls itself around then gets expressed through rounded soft lips. Power feels like something that grows from deep inside and is about fullness of the person, from their own knowing of themselves, force feels like an attempt at control from lack of confidence or over confidence and determination. Which is more feminine, or female, and allowing? It is for us to choose.
I say this line “it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do” is for all of us to hear and realize in daily living.
Medical procedures and operations can be big, scary things to go through, but you’ve beautifully highlighted how if we seek support and prepare our bodies for it then it’s much less daunting. When we’re anaesthetised we are not consciously there, however any operation is a very body-intense experience so for us to prepare beforehand for our body to be strong during this period is so amazing.
And communicating our concerns and anxieties is important too, because I said beforehand that I was anxious about the anaesthetic, the anaesthetist was particularly caring and we were having a lovely conversation before I conked out – she didn’t even have to ask me to count to ten…
Carmel, thanks for sharing your very personal story and the healing process you have undertaken. I really felt in this story, the intelligence we all have access to in choosing to care for ourselves and not wait for things to affect us. But of course if they do then the opportunity is there to reset and restore health and vitality with deep care which you have so beautifully and honestly shared. There is definitely something deeply self loving in being aware of our pelvic floor and connecting with it through exercise and movement, this I would say is important whether man or woman.
‘the opportunity is there to reset and restore health and vitality with deep care’ This is true, Stephen, we can always re-set, there is never a need to give up, every moment of our lives we are provided with reflections that provide opportunities for us to continuously evolve through our choices. We are so blessed.
This is incredible, it’s huge – the fact you are so willing to be absolutely honest and open about what you have gone through will support many women. We often don’t talk about these things, and keep them hush hush as if there is something wrong with us. But bringing it out into the open is very much called for and needed. Thank you Carmel for making it such a natural thing to talk about and discuss.
What a powerful and deeply inspiring blog Carmel. Thank you.
I love how you have embraced your Stop moment Carmel and your dedication to healing on all levels is inspiring. Allowing yourself to let go of the need for recognition through what you are doing is huge and is reflected in how you are now valuing yourself and building an awesome relationship with tenderness.
Thank you, Helen, it has been a challenge to turn around my perception of the words tender, delicate, fragile, and to see them as powerful strengths, because in my tenderness I can feel, when I can feel, I know what’s going on, when I know what’s going on I can make different choices, I can choose Stillness, I can choose Truth, I can choose Love and I can choose Joy.
“By taking care of myself I am making the most of the healing opportunity on offer. By continuing to take care of myself I am honouring my physical body, which will stand me in good stead in the future. After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.” So true Carmel. You show that surgery and hospital procedures can be used as opportunities and truly heal old patterns. No return to old patterns and your previous ‘normal ‘ life. Inspiring blog.
Awesome journey Carmel and this is so true “After all, our bodies are simply reflecting our lifestyle choices; if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.” Your approach to your situation clearly demonstrates that when we take full responsibility for our health as in diet, exercise, rest, recuperation as well as understanding what is physically appropriate for our gender and couple this with the expertise of Western Medicine, recovery from surgery can be swift and relatively pain free. Our bodies have no choice but to reflect the way we live and therein lies our biggest clue as to how to resolve the mounting health problems we currently face. Universal Medicine has been a god send in my life too, as it brought me face-to-face with this indisuptable truth, empowered me to regain my responsibility and totally transform the quality of my health, so that any visit to the doctors these days is fully backed up by a loving and healthy lifestyle, maximising all that Western Medicine has to offer.
‘Our bodies have no choice but to reflect the way we live’ – Yes, and it is our choice to listen or not
‘….it is for you to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do.’ Wow. How incredible it would be if all girls (and boys) grew up knowing this to be true about themselves. We would live in a very different world if this were the case.
I agree, Sandra, our education from birth needs to include valuing our children simply for being who they are, so they can learn to appreciate themselves and others, just by feeling the beautiful essence that is within us all, equally.
Thank you Carmel for sharing so openly and with such detail of your healing journey. By doing so you have made it very real and accessible to appreciate and be inspired to learn from what you share.
“.. on a six-week recuperation program with nothing to do except look after my body; what a challenge!” It is quite astounding how challenging it is to take loving care of oneself.
What a great opportunity to learn so much about your choices, and then how to support yourself fully for such a huge operation. What really stands out is the level of support you received from the doctors, nurses, Esoteric practitioners, friends and the level of detail on your recovery – when you get to your new life, you will be a totally different person.
Thank you for sharing Carmel. Your honesty in how you developed the prolapse and how you dealt with it and surrendered to what was needed to be done is inspiring to read.
Being fully in acceptance of what has been diagnosed and then taking charge of our own health is an important part of the healing. This is shown by the smoothness and simplicity of your operation Carmel and your recovery afterwards. We can never underestimate how much we can bring to our own healing, rather than relying on the doctors and nurses to do it all for us.
I agree, Alison, recovery from an illness is as much our responsibility as any member of the medical profession. And if we look deeper, it is our responsibility to live with care and not to get ill in the first place!
Your story Carmel is a testament that when our choices are a direct cause of an illness, we have the same responsibility to be part of the healing process with the medical intervention.
Thank you Carmel for sharing a very clear example of the way we treat our body and the possible consequences of those choices. In recognising the cause and taking an active role in preparing your body for surgery and also in the recovery post op. you have felt a deeper true connection to yourself as a woman.
Hi Carmel, I have enjoyed your observances and awarenesses that you posted post op. on f.b., and now you have shared with us in full your entire experience and your blossoming love for your precious feminine awarenesses around your body and all that it has been showing you. Like many women that I have spoken to they too find there is a price to pay for our previous waywardness in caring lovingly for our bodies. I too am preparing for surgery in about 3 weeks. About 35 years ago I endured all that you speak of and a Manchester repair was undertaken. In prior youthful belief in being indestructible I did not fully understand the repercussions of continuing in a way of ‘pushing through’ endless barriers where my body was trying to tell me not to, including assisting with pushing an airplane in and out of a hanger over metal sliding door tracks, and during long winters pushing heaped wheelbarrows of river redgum wood nightly for the log fire etc.etc. So now yes, I too am learning to love this body more and appreciate the gift that it is. Thank you for your inspirational sharing.
Thank you too, Roberta for sharing the physical tasks you took your body through – there are probably many stories like yours of heavy physical tasks that women have undertaken for whatever reason, all of them in complete disregard for the true fragility of our bodies.
Thank you for spelling out the difference between overriding our bodies, to deeply honouring it by through paying attention, feeling what is required and taking care of what is reveled. A very inspiring story.
Carmel, you were clearly meant to stop and experience this extended period of repose. Often when major illness calls it offers us an opportunity to deeply reflect and heal. Re-connnecting back to your sacred and womanly self, definitely worth it.
What a different approach to illness and disease than I am used to hear you are describing here Carmel. Your active support to the healing by introducing the psychological and energetic aspects of our humanly bodies to your healing, brings any illness into a complete new light, the light of clearing and discarding old patterns we hold in our bodies and from that in our behaviour and physical conditions. The clearing will present to us the opportunity to become more of who we naturally are, tender and delicate beings that deserve love and tenderness in life.
This is true, Nico, so many of us see illness as a nuisance to be got over as quickly as possible so that we can get ‘back to normal’ but my personal experiences have shown that, if we ignore the signs our body gives us, we get a more serious illness further down the road until we eventually get a full stop that makes us pay attention.
Sure Carmel, in that you can say our body is very persistent in its loving way to stop us from straying too far from the connection with it and to stop the harm that this straying away is causing our body.
‘to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do’. This is such a precious statement. The world tells us from when we are very small that it is what we do that matters and to turn this around and to value ourselves for who we are first and foremost is huge and could literally change the way of the world.
An excellent example of the great union and relationship on offer between Western Medicine and Esoteric Medicine.
You end with a huge thank you and I have to start with a huge thank you to you Carmel. It was incredibly touching to read your story – so openly, insightfully, clearly and lovingly written to support others.
As women knowing and living our worth and value before anything we do is everything, absolutely everything. It is very supportive to observe where I value myself with what I do above who I innately am, and at those moments to deeply support and hold myself to come back to what is truth. Our bodies are assisting us every day to look at our choices and expression, whether we are living the truth that our bodies cannot lie about. When we are willing to commit back to living what is truth, there is so much support in Western Medicine as well as from our Souls to work together. There is so much to appreciate.
What you say is key, Adele, ‘When we are willing to commit back to living what is truth…’ it is always a choice we can make, to stay in our sick but comfortable lives or to be open to feeling and living the truth of who we truly are.
What an amazing way to approach a medical procedure – with great preparation and awareness!
What a huge sharing Carmel on a topic that is often ignored or seen as a common procedure when women move into the next phase of their life. I have observed many friends who have had this procedure go back to the way they lived before. The support you received from so many gave you the opportunity to feel more into the behaviours that accumulated over time and that it is never too late to make changes that bring more quality to your life.
Natalliya I can fully understand why your friends have gone back to the way they were living before, it is very challenging to lose our strong ‘I can do it’ independence and think we don’t need any help with anything, and to let go of the identification that goes with all of that. To accept my fragility as true and normal, to treat my body as the delicate instrument it is from here on, for the rest of this lifetime, will set up a level of self care for my next life and all those beyond.
Thank you for sharing this Carmel. I am deeply appreciating your appreciation of the whole experience! What you are sharing is inspirational in your acceptance of the prolapse and welcoming it as an opportunity for deeper healing and connection.
Wow Carmel thank you so much fir sharing your story which is such a service and inspiration for all of us – how you really and fully took charge of your healing at every level, leaving no stone unturned to allow the healing to happen in full.
‘if we live well, that’s how our bodies will be too.’ I have seen you post-op and was blown away with how amazing you are. Everything you’ve written here is reflected in how you are. Truly inspired. your reflection is shining a very bright light on where I am not taking care of myself any where near the loving degree that I can. The beauty is I’m not stuck in my past choices and can start afresh now. No matter how much there is to do in the day I do not have to go into doing but stay present and aware of my body as I move. Carmel, thank you for such a beautiful reflection of you being the beautiful woman that you are.
‘The beauty is I’m not stuck in my past choices and can start afresh now.’ Great words, Karin, it is very easy to go back into old patterns of self disregard and just as easy to make a different choice. We are constantly surrounded by the most beautiful reflections in Nature, in people and even in the things around us, that remind us to be loving with ourselves, so it’s our choice whether we ‘read’ them or not.
Thank you for sharing Carmel, I never really knew what a prolapse was till reading this here. What amazing beauty and divinity we must come from for our body to give us such clear signs that function and to do listing life is not it. In what you say you can really feel how you have embraced with open arms the new level of care your body has called for.
What an absolutely gorgeous sharing, thank you Carmel. The journey back to our sacredness is one all women must undertake, yours being very illustrative of what can manifest if we override who we are with what we think we need to do.
It is still a work-in-progress reconnecting with the sacredness, and not having an image of what it is, but feeling my way with it.
I hear you!
I love the detailed way of describing the whole process. What I found specifically inspiring is how much importance you’ve given to your body by honouring it as you never did before. And how it responded. It made me aware of an arrogance inside that “Yes, my body is important, but I am more important”. Who’s the I? It’s definitely the one running the show when I don’t listen to my body, but there’s not an ounce of love in this ‘character’, so it can’t be me. This example shows the importance of listening to the being first!
I agree, Floris, ‘…listening to the being first’ is more important than anything for therein is the true wisdom.
Thank you for sharing your journey, what a wake up call to listen to our body and not override what its saying. How amazing our bodies are in healing when we stop to listen and nurture our body as a whole.
Yes, Amita, our bodies are amazing, and I’m sure my recovery was greatly helped by my self care and healthy living regime before the operation. They advise patients not to smoke or drink before surgery, which is sound advice, but we could all help the Health Services by looking after our own health and not just relying on the doctors and nurses to do it all for us.
What a profound statement: “… to work so that your worth and value is known before anything you do”. What if young girls were taught this at an early age, rather than being encouraged to compete with boys. Most are only valued for what they do and achieve, no wonder we have the array of women’s health issues that we do today.
I agree with you Carmin, when we put our worth and value before anything we do our world will change into a completely new order in which the human values will be honoured and not stuffed away as we we see so much happening in our nowadays society.
Yes, Carmin, I agree, we all need to be taught this at an early age, and you can see the confidence in the children who are brought up this way.
Carmel, what you write sounds very simple and sensible. What may be extraordinary is that you have been able to completely switch your life around and continue with it even during the latter phases where you could have easily returned to your old ways. That is really well done.
It is quite a challenge, Christoph, as I recover my strength, to remember my fragility. My fingernails are a great marker, they grew really well while I was resting and not doing much, now I’m stronger and doing more, I’ve broken the occasional nail, which has reminded me to be more tender with my hands.