Choices, Choices, Choices

by Julie Snelgrove, Merchandiser, Somerset, UK

Three weeks ago I hurt my big toe. The pain was intense at the time of injury. As I was crying in pain I could feel the pain was coming from a much deeper place than just my toe!

The wound was too painful for me to allow the paramedic to clean it up, so they took me to the local minor injuries unit where I could have Entonox (gas and air). I’ve had this before so thought: “Ah, that’ll be ok”.

I was sitting in a chair when they brought the gas in. At that moment my head was feeling vulnerable so I asked my daughter to get me a pillow. As she was getting it – I started breathing the Entonox. I took a couple of deep breaths and then the words the doctor said kept repeating as I lost consciousness and collapsed sideways in the chair. In that moment a part of me was pleased this had happened and for a split second I WANTED this depth of numbness. Then inside me something screamed “Get me out of this now!” I chose to come back and said No to the numbness. It felt like I was dragging myself out of mud and I never want to feel like that again.

As soon as I came round I said “That was awful – I feel like I just had a shot of heroin.”  The nurse was light and humorous and said “You really shouldn’t take heroin through your toe!”

Eleven days later I was back at the hospital to have the stitches removed. This was painful, so I was offered Entonox again. Initially my reply was “No, I passed out with that last week”. 

My choice was based on that previous experience. In that moment I blamed the Entonox for causing it.

As the pain intensified I asked the nurse to stop. She suggested again I have Entonox.

After a brief hesitation, I chose to use the Entonox as a support, to allow the procedure to be completed.

This time I was lying on a couch. I asked for a pillow to support my head before I started using the entonox. The canister was rolled in and I was given a full explanation of how to use it. I followed the instructions and breathed gently. It took a few breaths for the haze to kick in and as it did I heard the words ‘I am divine’. I was fully aware of what was being said and what the nurse was doing. It was just all ‘dulled’. If any words went to repeat this time ‘I am divine’ was there.

I heard the nurse say it was all done and I came around. There was a very big smile on my face as I knew I’d just been through a special healing moment in understanding and experiencing the power of our choices and how these play out.

I thanked the nurse for her amazing support and in this I learnt more as I shared with her how I’d sat in a chair on the previous occasion. She was shocked, because part of the setup is the patient should be on a couch. In that moment I then remembered how I had felt rushed and unsafe, but had let it carry on because of what I wanted – to be numbed.

So what was the difference?

In the first experience I wanted to be fixed. I was angry this injury had been ‘done’ to me and I certainly did not want to accept my part in why it had happened. I CHOSE IRRESPONSIBILITY and then accepted whatever happened after that because of what I needed.

In the second experience I was open to there being another way and how I could be supported and choose this. I made sure I felt supported properly to start with – I was on the couch, I had a pillow, the side was up, I was given a clear explanation. But this was natural because of my choice. 

Two very different outcomes as a result of choices made.

The teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported and inspired me to make more loving choices. The support I have received from Universal Medicine practitioners over the years has been ongoing and amazing and equally so too has the care, attention and wise words I’ve experienced from all the doctors and nurses in the NHS. So long as All are kept in the picture as part of the healing process, knowing the necessary support is always there from whomever or where ever this may come at the time, Universal Medicine and Conventional Medicine are a marriage made in Heaven.