Choices, Choices, Choices

by Julie Snelgrove, Merchandiser, Somerset, UK

Three weeks ago I hurt my big toe. The pain was intense at the time of injury. As I was crying in pain I could feel the pain was coming from a much deeper place than just my toe!

The wound was too painful for me to allow the paramedic to clean it up, so they took me to the local minor injuries unit where I could have Entonox (gas and air). I’ve had this before so thought: “Ah, that’ll be ok”.

I was sitting in a chair when they brought the gas in. At that moment my head was feeling vulnerable so I asked my daughter to get me a pillow. As she was getting it – I started breathing the Entonox. I took a couple of deep breaths and then the words the doctor said kept repeating as I lost consciousness and collapsed sideways in the chair. In that moment a part of me was pleased this had happened and for a split second I WANTED this depth of numbness. Then inside me something screamed “Get me out of this now!” I chose to come back and said No to the numbness. It felt like I was dragging myself out of mud and I never want to feel like that again.

As soon as I came round I said “That was awful – I feel like I just had a shot of heroin.”  The nurse was light and humorous and said “You really shouldn’t take heroin through your toe!”

Eleven days later I was back at the hospital to have the stitches removed. This was painful, so I was offered Entonox again. Initially my reply was “No, I passed out with that last week”. 

My choice was based on that previous experience. In that moment I blamed the Entonox for causing it.

As the pain intensified I asked the nurse to stop. She suggested again I have Entonox.

After a brief hesitation, I chose to use the Entonox as a support, to allow the procedure to be completed.

This time I was lying on a couch. I asked for a pillow to support my head before I started using the entonox. The canister was rolled in and I was given a full explanation of how to use it. I followed the instructions and breathed gently. It took a few breaths for the haze to kick in and as it did I heard the words ‘I am divine’. I was fully aware of what was being said and what the nurse was doing. It was just all ‘dulled’. If any words went to repeat this time ‘I am divine’ was there.

I heard the nurse say it was all done and I came around. There was a very big smile on my face as I knew I’d just been through a special healing moment in understanding and experiencing the power of our choices and how these play out.

I thanked the nurse for her amazing support and in this I learnt more as I shared with her how I’d sat in a chair on the previous occasion. She was shocked, because part of the setup is the patient should be on a couch. In that moment I then remembered how I had felt rushed and unsafe, but had let it carry on because of what I wanted – to be numbed.

So what was the difference?

In the first experience I wanted to be fixed. I was angry this injury had been ‘done’ to me and I certainly did not want to accept my part in why it had happened. I CHOSE IRRESPONSIBILITY and then accepted whatever happened after that because of what I needed.

In the second experience I was open to there being another way and how I could be supported and choose this. I made sure I felt supported properly to start with – I was on the couch, I had a pillow, the side was up, I was given a clear explanation. But this was natural because of my choice. 

Two very different outcomes as a result of choices made.

The teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported and inspired me to make more loving choices. The support I have received from Universal Medicine practitioners over the years has been ongoing and amazing and equally so too has the care, attention and wise words I’ve experienced from all the doctors and nurses in the NHS. So long as All are kept in the picture as part of the healing process, knowing the necessary support is always there from whomever or where ever this may come at the time, Universal Medicine and Conventional Medicine are a marriage made in Heaven.



558 thoughts on “Choices, Choices, Choices

  1. This blog was written over 6 years ago and is relevant today as it was then particularly in light of the state of humanity as most of the western world ‘battens down its hatches’ to the virus COVID 19. Is it possible that the likelihood of catching this and its degree of severity is also down to our choices? I know for myself I am following government guidelines as well as choosing to connect to myself and the bigger space around us All rather than get caught in the fear and anxiety as this feels equally, if not more, harmful.

  2. This is a great blog about choices and how we make them usually because we want a certain outcome and so brush over the possible consequences until it catches up with us.

  3. ‘I CHOSE IRRESPONSIBILITY and then accepted whatever happened after that because of what I needed.’ Thank you so much for illustrating what the consequences of those choices can be and that when we deny the responsibility of those choices we are left feeling disempowered and like victims of circumstance when life really doesn’t have to play out this way.

  4. Thank you Julie, for the sharing of the two experiences. This just goes to show how we perceive an illness, injury or whatever the body is throwing out of it, can also be a healing or harming.

    When we’re more open and receptive, the experience just flows and the others around us reciprocate it too. When we are closed, blaming or wanting to be fixed, then the experience leaves us with a bad taste and we blame it on a particular thing that follows us or holds us prisoners, for the rest of our lives.

    In everything, we have the opportunity to make choices that are lovingly supportive to us and our body’s or not, it is that simple.

  5. ‘Two very different outcomes as a result of choices made.’ I love the examples you are sharing here Julie as they highlight beautifully the outplay of the choices we make, either to be with ourselves and feel everything there is to feel in the moment and for what is needed, or, to check out, not be present, not to feel and not to take any responsibility for the way things are panning out, leaving ourselves out of the equation and blaming everything and everyone around us for the events that unfold. Gold.

    1. Agree Rachel, it is ‘Gold’. It boils down to the choice of responsibility of being there or not. When we are with ourselves, then we accept the part we have placed. When we are not with ourselves, then we hand and blame others for our ill choices. Can we live with this knowing?

  6. Thank you Julie, today reading this I feel I understand more easily and am allowing a deeper level of honesty, a greater awareness, of the way that I behave and the consequences that arise from those behaviours. Whatever and however I express has an influence on those around me – there is a huge responsibility in this but it need not be daunting when we are truly connected and allow for constant inspiration.

  7. Our choices result in consequences- sometimes amazing, other times not so. But we are the common denominator. How do we choose to live?

  8. Years ago on a cold dark night in December on a twisty road, I had fallen into the trap of familiarity with the road and excess speed on my large motorcycle. On the way to the A&E in the ambulance, I got my first ever opportunity to experience Entonox. I was told how to use it and asked if I could overdose on it and was told not to worry about it. When the pain from the two broken ankles arose and other lesser injuries, I tried the gas and sure enough when I had enough gas, the hand holding the mask flopped and the mask fell off my face. I became self-medicating for what was needed by the body.

  9. This is very powerful. How often do I give up and give in because the circumstances don’t seem to meet my expectation? It really is me avoiding my responsibility. We always have a choice, and we have a choice to command that choice.

    1. Fumiyo your comment caught my attention
      “How often do I give up and give in because the circumstances don’t seem to meet my expectation?”
      Where are these expectations coming from? I know I’m still getting caught up in the thoughts that I have that I think are my thoughts, which keeps me in the individuality of life, rather than understanding fully that my thoughts are fed to me from a pool of energy that encourages individuality because being an individual keeps us all in the separation to our soul.

    1. Agreed. Even on the subtle level of choosing to place my focus on appreciation of the space I can feel in my body as opposed to letting the tense areas take over and become all consuming has a massive difference in how my movements are impulsed and how I enter into communication with another. Both these things influence greatly what is to unfold next.

      1. michelle819 just recently I was able to feel how by holding tension in one part of my body how it had been affecting my left hip as I let go of the tension I felt the muscles in my left hip relax, it was amazing to feel. The tension was affecting all my movements, as you have observed our movements communicate more than words and influence greatly what is to unfold next.

  10. It’s great that you noticed the difference – how often do we have a bad experience and blame that experience rather than our part in it? Or we don’t consider that the outcome could have been different if we’d approached it differently?

  11. How we hold ourselves and the quality and level of awareness we choose to be in directly links with the experiences and reflections we have through life and how much we learn and evolve from them when we are open.

  12. It makes such a difference the way we are – the state we are in and the quality we hold ourselves it. It makes me realise that a choice is never just a singular thing – it also factors in all the other choices we have made leading up to that.

    1. I am back in the USA and have had nothing but positive experiences with people, including in NYC. When I was 21 I was not such a happy person and was struggling to make sense of life. In NYC then I encountered so much hostility and rudeness. At the time it never occurred to me that this was what I was attracting by my contraction to life.

  13. Thank you Julie a great sharing and one that we can all learn from, especially the importance of asking questions even when we are in pain, a simple prompt of asking how you needed to take the pain relief may have prompted a full explanation as we all have an equal responsibility in these things and when we blindly seek relief there are always consequences.

  14. It is true that we are making choices all of the time and depending on how we make that choice will determine the outcome; either way negative or positive there is always something to learn.

  15. It’s so supportive to realise we can empower ourselves with our choices, to trust our feelings and to even slow down something happening around us, such as in this medical situation, to ask more questions and express how we feel and what our needs are. I definitely feel more empowered now when I work with medical professionals, realising they too need my feedback, and that we can work together more harmoniously as a team with my input.

  16. Our choices reflect the quality of energy we align to and in our willingness to embrace and surrender to truth and honor the love we are, our choices then follow to support this alignment and our opportunity to evolve.

  17. The way we approach the healing process determines the way we experience it. Good to remind this, since it is a choice we ourselves make.

  18. Thank you for sharing this great example of how when we choose irresponsibility we become a victim of how the situation then plays out but when we accept our part in whatever has unfolded we can then allow ourselves to be appropriately supported and thus transform the way we experience challenging circumstances and re-imprint them.

  19. As I read this I couldn’t help but think how our lives would be so different from young if we were raised to know the power, the consequences and the responsibility we have for each and every choice we make. For a start the ‘blame game’ would no longer exist as we would naturally be taking responsibility for these choices. Now that is one game the world would be so much better off without.

    1. Yes it really exposes the nature of blaming others by calling it the ‘blame game’ and is one that we would certainly benefit from not playing!

    2. Yes teaching young ones about consequences and responsibility is so important. Informing them about the back story and that things ‘don’t just happen’.

      1. I supported my child when they were growing up to know that there are consequences to our actions. The biggest lesson came when they were a teenager they had their phone and car taken from them which was the result of consequences to their ill choices. What was interesting was all her friends were highly impressed that there were consequences and voiced that they wished their parents were bothered by what they were doing. This had a lasting impression on my daughter that someone cared enough about them to support them to understand that every choice we make has a consequence as you say Sue Queenborough things ‘don’t just happen’

  20. Making choices based on past experiences – it sounds like there’s no other way to make any sensible choice, but I can feel how I use it to ease off the level of awareness and responsibility that the moment calls for. This is huge. Thank you for sharing your insight, Julie.

  21. I appreciate the honesty with yourself that you share here, recognising the impact of your part in the equation rather than just seeing it as random that there was a difference in how you reacted on different occasions or just blaming others for what happened.

  22. How beautiful that you had the opportunity to re-imprint your experience and how much more loving and supportive it was for you the second time when you were honouring yourself.

  23. I also registered a deeper inner pain beneath the surface pain of situations and experiences. It is easy to blame anything outside ourselves for the cause of our initial pain but when we are honest and feel into it more deeply it is possible to realise and understand the pain in choosing to live against our true nature we deny our natural expression.

  24. “In the second experience I was open to there being another way and how I could be supported and choose this.” Beautiful, The two different experiences demonstrate the importance of asking for support when we need it, but also to having no expectations as to an outcome. When we let go things often flow.

  25. We can go through life seeing things that happen as mere randomness or we can deeply appreciate that we are being supported through the magic of the universe to make choices that are evolving for us and humanity as a whole. It seems as a worldwide society we prefer the randomness vs truly seeing the reflections we are offered, I love how we always have a choice as growing up I thought I never had a choice and yet that was not true – something that I am exploring more and more each day and whilst not fully lived is transformational in my life.

  26. We always know what is truly happening, even if we then go and override our sense. An uneasy feeling should be an alarm bell in our minds but we have become so numb to the communications from our body that we often walk ourselves into danger whilst ignore the bell.

    1. Lucy Duffy I can honestly say I ignored what my body was trying to tell me, it was as though I had my finger on the self destruct button. I didn’t take my finger off the button until I met Serge Benhayon who via the work shops and presentations of Universal Medicine presented a different way to live one which enabled me to realise how self destructively I had been living and to question why was I being so self abusive?

  27. What really stood out for me was that we do feel when things are not ok and even though we can blame a situation or others, there is always a part of ourselves in it as it is happening to us and we always have the choice to change it. It then becomes about if we wanted to change or not instead of being a victim and that is very empowering.

  28. It’s really about which way we turn in difficult situations, or which way we approach life that determines the outcome or our experience. Do we approach it with responsibility and truly wanting healing, or do we approach it wanting relief and a quick fix? Same scenario – different outcomes.

  29. Life becomes so much easier to live when we live with the knowing that there is always “another way” in any given situation. And as you found, the way you were not honouring how you were feeling led you to feeling even worse. How amazing it is what can unfold when we bring all our attention to what is going on for us and then bring that awareness to the next choice we make, especially if we make that choice a self-loving one.

  30. Beautiful Julie, thank you for the reminder of how our choices either lead us further towards the love and divinity we are all truly from or further away from love – a simple choice really but we complicate and make it hard for ourselves when we separate from this truth.

  31. When we make choices that fully support us and our body’s rhythm rather than rushing and getting ahead of ourselves our whole experience and outcome of situations is completely different.

  32. Before going into hospital and having any sort of surgery, I profoundly recommend that one takes the time to know oneself deeply enough, so that there can be a real and true sense of surrender within… Then there is a very different experience that is there to be had.

  33. More and more I realise it is my choices that dictate the outcome of what is taking place, so empowering and really so simple when it comes down to it. I had this recently, I had a picture of how something was going to go and of course it did, exactly, which gave me a drama to get wrapped up in and take a long time. Talking with a friend they asked what was my part in it? how was I approaching it.. and ah ha! there it was I realised I had set it up to be this way as I had already chosen how it would be by my picture I had of it. I changed my choice and my approach, dropped the picture, stayed open, without expectation and sure enough it flowed beautifully and completed quickly. It was all down to me.

  34. “I CHOSE IRRESPONSIBILITY and then accepted whatever happened after that because of what I needed” – this is such an brilliant realization. Thank you for sharing, Julie. I can see how I have played this pattern many times in my life. Being very honest and understanding what I really am after is a great way to bring clarity into why things are the way they are.

  35. Julie your words ‘My choice was based on that previous experience.’ This reminded me how many times we deal with things based on our previous experiences, and don’t see them for the grace that they truly are, which is another opportunity to do things differently.

  36. It’s amazing the difference awareness and understanding can make to the way we perceive things. We can choose to see the things that ‘happen’ to us as an inconvenience, or as an opportunity for growth.

  37. Your example in this blog Julie highlights how the quality in which we choose to live has an outcome, either one that is nurturing and lovingly supportive for ourselves and everyone around us or one that is the opposite and we often blame anything outside of us instead of looking at why we made those choices that brought us to the situation.

  38. this is huge in how we approach things – if we blame or don’t want to take responsibility, then that plays havoc on our bodies. If we are honest with how we feel and where we are at, it supports us for whatever is needed.

  39. Coming to the understanding that in any situation I always have a choice even though at times the choice is not one I really want to make, has been life changing for me. No longer do I feel the victim of circumstance but the master of my own ‘ship’, and I know without any doubt whatsoever that the direction my ship is going is the result of all my choices but I also know that I can change direction whenever I choose.

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