By Simon Voysey, B. Ed Human Movement, Dip RM, Esoteric Healing Practitioner, Sydney, Australia.
I was watching a TV program the other night and there was a panel of four, three women and one man, discussing domestic violence. Asked at the end of the discussion to state, in their opinion, what was the most important thing to tackle about domestic violence, the man replied that men needed to get rid of the rough and tough image of what it was to be a man. As the camera panned back to the women, all three were nodding implicitly.
Addressing the rough and tough image around being a man is a key factor in understanding domestic violence. And one very important aspect of this is the hardness that men develop in their bodies and the insensitivity that goes with it. Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies.
Hardness
To explain this in physiological terms is very simple. The hardness is like a bracing in the body, which occurs when we take on the image of being tough. When you are told to ‘suck it up’ or not be ‘a sissy’, or ‘a girl’, there is literally a tensing in the body and over time, the hurts that could easily be released by expressing how you feel and perhaps crying, instead become a held tension in muscles, connective tissue and even deeper in organs. The deeper hardness in organs means a more entrenched hardness in the body, which affects its natural harmonious function and flow, and the resulting physiological and emotional dysfunction can lead to the body becoming run down, to depression and to other forms of mental and physical illness.
Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction. This means reacting way out of proportion when feeling threatened, even by someone who is not physically threatening you. Such ‘irrational’ behaviour goes hand in hand with hardness in the body, which can lead to people being abusive, or accepting abuse, as well as being a factor in many other lifestyle choices that do not make sense such as emotional eating, alcohol and drug abuse, and indeed any other choice that can harm our bodies.
Our Connective Tissue
The very interesting relationship between the hardness held in our bodies and our behaviour, highlights the importance of understanding the role our connective tissue plays in our physiological and psychological health and wellbeing. The role assigned to our connective tissue in modern medical science is of protection and support of other body tissue. The fact that it wraps around muscles, joints and bones, all of our blood vessels, nerves and organs, plus throughout our central nervous system, the spine and brain, indicates how important connective tissue is to our general wellbeing. In its role as a protective layer of our body, it is very sensitive to impending hurts.
At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting. The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be. Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy
Through the amazing work of Serge Benhayon and Kate Greenaway – a physiotherapist who has worked in close relationship with Serge for many years – a form of healing called Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy (ECTT) has evolved. This therapy knows and understands our body and the role of connective tissue to such a deep extent, that it recognises how very subtle movements applied to the body causes a physiological and energetic shift in people’s bodies, like a ‘ripple effect’, where the hardness can release markedly even in one session. ECTT is a very gentle therapy performed lying on a massage table, which has been found to be great for the relief of pain. Yet more importantly in the context of this article, any one who receives ECTT gets to feel the hardness held in their body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that we can surrender to in treatments.
My personal experience of ECTT and Esoteric Healing began several years ago when as a fitness and Yoga instructor I considered myself to be very strong, fit and flexible. Through these deeply connected modalities I became aware of the hardness in my body and this awareness was integral to how I changed my exercise and Yoga practice. The sensitivity I reclaimed meant listening to my body and exploring a totally different relationship with it to avoid any insult I was causing my body through intense, forceful or jarring exercise or stretching.
This increased sensitivity and awareness has also become a whole new foundation for the way I live and brought a new more gentle quality to everything I do, which has greatly increased my level of vitality and my sense of wellbeing. Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.
The extension of ECTT into everyday life is choosing to be sensitive and gentle with ourselves, rather than tough and hard in how we live our lives. This includes the choice to be present with our bodies and to the constant signals they offer us about our posture, the quality of our movement and how we relate to people. These choices can be easily made when we begin to feel and appreciate what a difference it makes to our energy levels, our self-confidence and our overall quality of life.
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
“At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.” Simon thank you for this extraordinary article I always receive so much insight and understanding every time I read it. I have just experienced a period of stress and trauma and I can attest to your quote above about how Connective Tissue contracts, as my body, including muscles, the heart and chest area felt so tight as a result of it all. When we feel threatened or defensive we literally do harden the Connective Tissue so it’s encasing us like armour.
Simon I’m in agreement with you as I have for the first time experienced Esoteric Yoga and then Esoteric connective Tissue exercises. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that our bodies just lap up this combination. I am discovering that there is such a deep quality of delicateness in our bodies that is untapped and if we were to fully access this quality our whole life style would change. There is so much of us that we are not aware of, there is a depth and quality to each and everyone of us that lies hidden just below the surface waiting to be explored.
Simon, there is much to ponder on in regards to how men but also, how women are bought up. I know for myself I grew up with the hardness and over the years, my body became very stiff, despite exercising etc.
It was a couple of years ago that I had the privilege to experience Connective Tissue Therapy and wished I had come across this modality many years ago. I find this modality assists in releasing things/stuff that do not belong to or in my body.
It was one of my favourite treatments and absolutely love receiving, but also offering it to others. There is much research to be done in what this modality has to offer and its effects on the body. It is a very supportive healing therapy for the body, I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone.
Thank you Simon, reading your article today gave me so much insight into myself, as well as understanding and compassion as to how life experiences affected my connective tissue. I can see why ECTT has been so very beneficial for supporting my health and wellbeing, and also supporting me to let my true self within be expressed again through my body, something that had been constricted behind a physical hardness.
I agree Melinda we don’t stop to feel what we are doing to ourselves when we go into a reaction and tense our muscles as a way of seemingly bracing against the blow whether it be physical or the words we use that can be even more harming than actually being hit. The spoken word can be a lethal weapon.
I loved hearing about your experience with Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. A modality that is simple yet absolute gold in supporting us to come back to the truth of who we are.
Vicky, that’s what I love about this modality, ‘supporting us to come back to the truth of who we are’. It assists us in removing things that don’t belong to us. At the beginning I could feel the heaviness in my ankles of feeling tied down, and then it shifted. I walk my own walk and not someones else’s.
Imagine if we raised a whole generation of infant boys to remain in their sensitivity (along with girls too) would this not change the way our businesses would run, change our political disputes, our social disputes and our family disputes? Would not the whole of society fundamentally operate on a whole other level?
The reflection of a hardened man’s body is the reflection of a hardened woman’s body. As women we sometimes live in ignorance and arrogance reacting and blaming men for the aggression and abuse that comes our way. I am not saying that men should not be pulled up for abuse and neither am I saying that I am in favour of abuse. What I am saying is that women, every woman has to take responsibility for the hardness that is held in their body including me, letting go of the hurts, beliefs and pictures that contributes to a hardened body.
Spot on, Caroline. We can clearly see the effect of hardness when there is physical abuse, but as you well say, we need to consider that this is the result of living in a certain way that ends hardening us because of repeatedly not honouring what we feel in first place.
Letting go of old patterns can at times seem like a struggle because they are so ingrained that they have become part of our movements and seem so familiar that we think this is the normal way to be. I remember many years ago becoming very aware that my body felt hard but I put it down to my job and that I couldn’t change it until I changed my job which at the time was very physical. I have learnt that this is not true and that I can do physical work and still be gentle and delicate, and the way to do this is by becoming aware of every movement I make. It is an ongoing learning because I am also aware that my thoughts can also affect my movements based on my emotional reactions, and that this can also harden the body as a form of protection. This is where Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is so supportive because it allows us to feel the delicateness of who we truly are and the possibility that there is another way to be.
Being super kind to the body, gentle, tender, delicate, the body just loves it and feels lovelier incrementally so.
What I can feel is how common it is for many of us to be in hardness, guarded, rough and tough in our every day. It’s like the survival of the physical body, and the spirit, depends on it, like it is on a mission. And this way of being is so common that we need another body to remind us that there is actually another way. On my way to work, there is this one crossing where people come from all directions and very often some people walk as if they are just literally bulldozing others, and recently I noticed how it makes a difference when I am more consciously aware of walking with myself and being and holding the space for me and for everyone else – no one walks into me, and in fact the way they walk suddenly changes as if they are being told to slow down and join in the space. It is actually very beautiful and fun to observe that.
At times when I feel out of sorts if I come back to my body eventually all or some muscles release their tightness. In some instances I have not been aware of the tension and when it does release there’s a freak out and feeling vulnerable and exposed. But once that passes I get to feel that I can approach life without tensing and protecting myself. Takes time sometimes but it’s worth it.
Simon continue to lead the way.
ECTT has been an amazing support to my body. It is so healing in terms of releasing the body and allowing it to speak.
I love how connective tissue therapy works with the most subtle yet important body system which supports the whole structure and functioning of our bodies.
“Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.” It beautiful to feel the change in so many men who are students of Universal Medicine and reconnecting to the tenderness of who they are.
Appreciating the gentleness in our lives is a factor in reducing the hardness.
Reading this today brought a deeper understanding and appreciation for what goes on in my body, thank you.
Just to be presented with the fact that: “At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting” gives us such a deep insight into the amazingness of a body that supports us in every moment; a body we more often than not, take for granted. Now this is the sort of human biology I would have really appreciated being taught at school as I know it would have given me much more of an appreciation for my body than I did have for many years.
When we perceive a hurt we contract, tighten and harden against that threat, but also against everything and anything else: our own love, and to expressing that/receiving others’ expression of it. While shutting down and bracing ourselves is always a choice (and one that we eventually learn to let go of, as we build our own self-love), we can’t pick and choose shutting down to one part of life or our bodies without that affecting the whole: a physical shut down is a shut down, nothing coming in or out.
What I love about receiving Connective Tissue treatments is how the body knows instantly what is coming and responds accordingly. Even when my mind is too active and doesn’t want to let go of the thoughts the body knows different and welcomes the surrender.
I always thought that the hardness in my body was a good thing. It made me strong and able to work hard.
I did not realize that the hardness was a form of protection that I really did not need. That it did not protect me, it numbed me.
After 50 years of living like this I found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I am gradually letting go of my hardness and starting to truly feel.
Challenging at times but it feels so good to feel again!
The connection to our bodies can transform our lives, the more honest we become in our bodies the more realistic of the world we become.
Through the Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy I have been able to connect to my body and know how it truly feels when the tension is released. The more I stay connected with my body throughout the day the more able I am to feel any tension that builds which gives me an opportunity to change my movements to release the tension before it builds up.
It is utterly amazing how Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy treatments can have such a broad and lasting affect on one’s whole life, which just goes to show how life itself is made up of our constant and ongoing movements.
We have a responsibility – both men and women – to reflect to each other that we are able to be ourselves. Connective tissue therapy is such an amazing way for us to connect back to our bodies and to start to get a sense of the person we truly are underneath what we are told to be.
There is a universal pulse – the Song of God – that lives within us all, connecting us not only to each other but also to the greater fabric of the universe to which we belong (God’s body). This pulse can be tangibly felt through our connective tissue when we feel at one with ourselves and with all others. Or, when we feel threatened we experience a feeling of hardness when this tissue contacts, hence the subsequent feeling of isolation and separation that ensues. The problem is that we have made the ‘hardness’ our norm when it is a far cry from the exquisite sensitivity of our natural state. The song never stops singing, but we become deaf to it.
When I can feel a hardness in my body I am offered a moment to reflect on my livingness. How and in what way have I been moving my body in relationship to myself and to others? Have I been self loving and nurturing or have I been harming and abusive? This is not to self-criticise or judge but to support me to change my movements.
It is quite incredible how we build elaborate prisons for ourselves, constructed out of the very physicality of our human form; its tissues and its organs, in order to feel ‘protected’ from what we perceive to be the harsh realities of the world, which are simply the various abuses we have let run by not honouring the fact that we are each extremely precious and divine underneath the crushing weight of our self-created fortifications.
When I receive ECCT I feel how my body wants to surrender to what is on offer and like you’ve shared you get to feel the hardness that is held in the body but ECCT invites us to let go of any hardness of tension to return to our natural state of space, tenderness and being delicate.
What I can feel is how domestic violence is just an extreme version of enactment of how so many of us, both men and women, carry ourselves in. I recently had an incident where I reacted with anger and even when I actually felt resolved within myself, I could feel there was still that choice to reactivate the anger and hardness ready and waiting, and I could really feel how suffocating and constricting even to just entertain that option, yet being gentle and tender was a choice that had to be consciously made.
When we develop hardness in the body, it’s like a seemingly protective layer of numbness that means we don’t feel what is going on within or around us, as acutely – and so avoid taking responsibility for it. It feels like then we accumulate many more issues and hurts, storing them away in our bodies until such time that we decide we’re ready to deal with them – or our body makes us deal with it. Therapies like Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy are incredibly supportive in the way they assist a person to reconnect to their body, to actually want to feel again, and to then deal with some of the uncomfortable feelings that have been stuffed away, quite naturally and easily, as they surface to be healed and cleared.
Yes, men are very sensitive so they respond to the demand to be rough and tough by being rough and tough. It is quite crazy.
And the reflection to our young boys is so harming as they feel one thing but see another!
When our connective tissue is not in reaction and in its natural flow, the body and the inner being is in a much better place to respond to rather than react to life.
I have been very hard with myself, learning to be gentle with myself has been a very healing experience and I know for sure that the Esoteric Modalities, such as ECTT have deeply supported this embracing of my gentle tender way of being. I am still active, I exercise, I work I clean the house but I do it more gently, this is more supportive and I listen to my body. Simple.
If we are hard on the inside with ourselves we will be hard on the outside with others.
Today I was at a workshop about body movement and connective tissue exercises presented by Kate Greenaway, I learned a lot about the important role connective tissue has in the body supporting us moving through the day. We did super simple exercises with a huge effect on our posture and how we move. I love the rhythmic fluid way of moving and cherising the body. And Kate was just gorgeous presenting what she loves to talk about and make people aware of, connective tissue.
The quality of our each movement in life is to move with our innate tenderness and natural flow in life or to brace and harden against what we fear is coming towards us. The latter in fact offers no real protection as we continue to harden in our bodies as the natural flow of the connective tissue is shut down.
As we become more aware of the connective tissue web running through the body, we can feel how it tightens or flows. I notice my posture so much more and can feel such a difference when sitting by moving my shoulders gently back a very short distance and can feel how the rhythmic movement releases any tension.
The body responds to gentleness with great appreciation, Anything less, is communicated loud and clear!
In the early part of this article you talk about the panel of men and women on the tv show, discussing what needs to change for domestic violence to stop. And all agreed that men needed to change the image of the rough-tough guy they were carrying. And what I find interesting about this is how normal it is for many situations to be addressed in this way: a problem is presented and a solution is given. But in all the years of life on earth, with all the solutions – there still remains critically high levels of distress on our planet between people. No solutions are working… so what is there left for us to do, or turn to? When will the solution making panels of discussion start to be really honest?
I have received ECTT – and my body melts. What I find interesting to observe is that I was well into massages. They were a ‘good idea for stress relief’ and so I had them a lot. But my body would actually tense up. I’d always want to engage with the person giving the treatment or wonder what they thought of my body – it put me in a lot of tension. In ECTT – my body simply dropped. It said no to all the thoughts and yes to the hands that allowed the healing. My body simply let go. And still continues to do so. Sometimes I fall asleep – but this reflected to me at first the depths of letting go my body needed to get to so my mind would also let go. It is a constant journey that has allowed me to see that there is a type of bodywork that actually supports us.
I found that as well, if someone wanted to give me a shoulder massage my body would tense up and defend itself from the other persons hands. In Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy everything melts and I sink into the table. I often get an amazing sleep in those sessions and it highlights how I go to sleep in bed isn’t as surrendered. It’s great to have these markers.
Yes, it is quite simple really.
Simon, I really enjoyed reading just how vast and critical our connective tissue system is in our bodies, and how the ripple effect of hardening out of protection cascades into virtually every other bodily system. From this, it only makes sense how every single movement that we make is so critical to do in at the very least a gentle way in order to keep the whole body fluid and open in order to feel all there is to feel and function properly.
It’s so lovely to come back to this blog. As I read it my whole body responds and opens and softens and breathes. There is no reason to hold on to the hardness, and it feels so amazing when we allow the flow throughout our bodies. A great reminder that it is the connective tissue that contracts before anything else. I will take this with me into my day…
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy definitely exposes the hardness and holding we have within our body, the body will always expose how we are truly living, and the more we hold back the deeper into the body it goes, through ECTT we learn how tender the body is, and how tender we naturally are.
I have definitely noticed as a clinician that the way people live definitely affects the quality in their connective tissue and can therefore result in injury or illness.
Our connective tissue is exactly that – a tissue that connects our every part back with the whole it is a part of. If we insist on living life as a tiny isolated unit (the ‘individual’) at great expense to the whole we form a part of, then it makes sense that we have to harden and constrict this tissue so as to form ‘walls’ where there in-truth are none.
Women can develop that hardness too, at boarding school I learned not to cry in public and it has taken me 60 years to break down that hardness and allow myself to be vulnerable in front of others. I shut down rather than express but the tension in my body is becoming unbearable, so I am learning to observe, appreciate and express what I feel.
It makes complete sense that if we look after ourselves if we are gentle and not hard and if we deeply nurture and care for the way we live life then domestic violence would be something that naturally fades away and out of the normality it is today.
So true Doug, one of my first sessions of ECTT towards the end of the session I felt my hips adjust, this was profound and made all my movements much freer and lighter after this.
The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an incredibly powerful modality, you certainly feel how delicate and tender we all are and how we have hardened our bodies over time where we can be numb to any abuse we have allowed.
When we harden, we close ourselves off to the world – to ourselves and to others. For many (myself included) this is a way of ‘coping with the madness of the world’. But it actually contributes to it, it keeps us in a hardened protected state which keeps us separate from each other and ourselves.
The more we connect with how sensitive, tender and precious we are the less violence of any sort we will have in this world.
I totally agree. And yet if we let ourselves be governed by any picture of how we think we should be in the world, we lose the power of that sensitivity, preciousness and tenderness and we are likely to hide our vulnerability and the truth of who we are behind the ideal or belief that we hold.
What is abuse in truth when even not being gentle with ourselves or in life causes hardness and contraction within our body and our connective tissue?
I love your description Simon of how when we are tense in our bodies, it is akin to wearing a suit of armour. Having let go of an enormous amount of hardness in my own body, it becomes very clear and sometimes even painful to feel when I do allow any hardness to come back in. Allowing the delicate and gentle flow of how my body wants to move when I dont try to control it with my mind, and I am fully connected from the inside to the outside, is totally exquisite to feel.
I recently took part in the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy course and it was really amazing to feel how giving session was just as equally a profound experience as receiving one. It truly is a fascinating modality.
Very true Fumiya – We must be that for which we become a conduit of.
What is fundamentally brilliant about this piece, is how you extend the practice of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy in to one’s life – so it is not exclusive to the therapist performing the treatment or even the treatment room itself – because you have presented that we can in fact live in a way that supports an open and subtle connective tissue throughout our bodies.
What strikes me is how my view of what violence and abuse are has changed significantly, from being extreme in the past to realizing the subtle and daily ways that I may be abusive with how I treat myself and others, in the same vein it shows much more love and care that I am now putting into my life. One session of esoteric connective tissue therapy helps connect with one’s body in a truly deep way.
I think there is much to appreciate here about how the state of our body impacts our behaviour and the way that we think. Oftentimes we talk about mind over matter or consider the mind to be isolated from our body but what if there really is a big connection between how we are in our body and the way we then think and relate with everyone…
Thank you Simon it’s an amazing article which brings together societal beliefs and gender stereotyping, the effects on the body, and again what this can then feed back into society in terms of domestic violence and other behaviours, as well as physical and mental health issues. With chronic lower back pain one of the leading forms of ill health globally we have to consider the effects of hardness on our bodies worldwide. I also understood for the first time reading today how I have hardened my own body to stop my sensitivity, this was an amazing awareness to receive from inside myself as I read, thank you.
Understanding the importance of the Connective Tissue and how it is the supporting factor to the body it makes complete sense to be able to connect to it and support it. When I have had ECTT I have been blown away by the subtlety of the movement yet how it has such a profound effect on how my body feels. So supportive and would highly recommend it.
ECTT is an amazing modality for releasing held energy in the body and after, be able to feel the suppleness and freedom within the body is very beautiful.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers the body the opportunity to feel its natural tenderness and to release the tension held in the body and an added benefit is that the practitioner also feels the benefits in their own body at the same time.
ECTT is an absolute blessing for humanity… it is truly amazing… And imagine if it was taught from kindergarten up… From our life as a baby up until our preparation for death it is so beautiful to receive this modality.
I find my movements after an Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy treatment have a deeper quality and I want to take greater care of myself.
an incredible experience is to feel what it is like to move without the hardness, protection and, armour. And Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy give this beautifully.
It is so simple isn’t it… When it is laid out before… The extraordinary wonder of our human body… How it reacts and how, with wisdom, we can work with it and restore harmony and grace.
Living hard is reflected by a hard body that is held in protection.
No surprise to observe the explosion in guys (and now girls) going to the gym to ‘get big’, with protein shakes, creatinine supplements and any other way of accelerating the building of protection from the world they feel through their sensitivity and tenderness which would otherwise make them feel so vulnerable. Trick is the true strength lies in this vulnerability and not in lifting weights.
An interesting point that comes to me when reflecting on domestic violence and connective tissue is the level and way I may be holding and looking after myself that is not deeply loving and supportive, when I am being abusive to my body then it is easier to be abusive to others, when I look after myself and deepen the love then things are very different.
” there is literally a tensing in the body and over time, the hurts that could easily be released by expressing how you feel and perhaps crying, instead become a held tension in muscles, connective tissue and even deeper in organs. ”
This is a great understanding and can be easily seen in some older people, in the way they carry themselves in protection, for example, their shoulders are curled in to protect the heart.
Hardness in the body is something that affects many people yet for some there is little or no awareness that it is actually there. Becoming aware of how hard we can hold ourselves is the first step in letting go of tension and instead letting in the love that surrounds us.
That’s a great point Sam that by letting go of hardness we actually can let in more love.
We all have a responsibility to raise our boys in the tenderness that they are, to not allow the rough, tough false image to dominate of what it means to be a man. Imagine if we supported our boys in this, how domestic violence could reduce?
I think we trip ourselves up when we think we need to solve any gender issue. When you lay on a massage table and receive connective tissue there is no gender. I know that sounds strange but there is only warmth and love, no man, no women, all we need to do is connect and it is impossible to harm one another.
I have been blown away by the deep power of Esoteric Connective Tissue from the most subtle movements that are applied. However I can feel the quality of energy that is being connected with and feel how this is engaged with and supported to connect to flow that is in line with a harmonious balance.
Connective Tissue Therapy is a modality unlike any other I have ever come across. The gentle and subtle movements are offered to the body in such a way that it cannot but resist by starting to unravel itself from all the twists and turns that has been made in response to us reacting to life. And the more it is supported to unravel itself, the more it opens and softens up, allowing a natural energetic flow through and to every part. It is a truly remarkable and completely unimposing and unintrusive modality.
I have found Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has really helped me connect more to my body, and I am now more aware of how my body is, and whether it feels tight or relaxed.
I really like the context of relating having a Connective Tissue session with our resulting awareness. The effects of such a session increases our sense of how we are in our body, and makes any hardness stand out more. It stands to reason that hardness in the body equates to less care, which in this example is the extreme of physical domestic violence. I cannot imagine anyone being in a place where they would harm another after experiencing Connective Tissue Therapy, and that the key to changing behaviour in men with a tendency to violence lies in accepting that gentle is more natural and something we need to encourage in all men and boys.
That makes sense as we are naturally loving and tender people so if we go hard we disconnect from our true selves and then other abusive energies can get in. Nobody in true connection would EVER harm themselves or another.
Connective Tissue Therapy is indeed a beautiful modality in that, even though it is so gentle you are hardly aware that anybody is working on you, at the same time it is powerfully working on the tissues that surround almost every part of the internal workings of our body. What a wonderful modality this would be to regularly offer to any child so they may grow up without holding any hardness in the body.
I don’t remember seeing connective tissue being broken down in this way and I understand its role and things around it more. I have had Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy many times and it’s out of this world in how it makes you feel and now reading this article I can understand why more. The therapy works directly with the body from its natural and true state out and so it connects you deeply with what it is like to move without the hardness. I can feel how my movements have changed even now with this understanding as the way I move can be either a session to take me back to how I naturally am or my movements can walk me away. It sounds simple and yet the truth of it is so profound and my movements reflect this and a therapy that walks or moves with you whether you are in or out of a sessions, it’s great value in this way.
So helpful to view hardness from the initial contraction to then exploring the impact that this has on the body and also on our awareness meaning that we can continuously build on it and shut down our innate sensitivity. Thus we need to review how we are with all boys and support them to reconnect to their sensitivity rather than just focussing on the ones that end up committing domestic violence which is the extreme end of spectrum of behaviours.
I love this modality and the way your whole body surrenders and lets go during a session and you feel so amazing after because all of that tension that you have held is gone.
I never really considered that those behaviours we may have such as emotional eating can come from a hardness, but it makes sense … for if we harden we can foist any manner of abuse on our bodies and on others … we literally become desensitised and in this state all of us are capable of abuse. So back to the hardness then, the path back is to feel it and here Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is amazing, so gentle and simple and yet it allows us to feel how our bodies are and we are being with them and thus how we live. It’s an amazingly supportive path back to the sensitivity we all are.
Simon, I love what you have shared here about the importance of men allowing themselves to drop the hard and tough image that they are so conditioned to carry from a young age. There is of course another facet to consider, and this is to do with women being supportive of this. When a man drops the tough and hard exterior, they are far more vulnerable, and it is about supporting this vulnerability. However, in today’s society we find a lot of women drawn to the tough and hardened images of men – so we could ask, are women in some ways driving this too, and not just the men?
The hardness in our bodies did not really mean that much to me until I started to be more aware of my own movements and discomfort within my own body. And what I now observe about people is that you can physically see and feel how restrictive their movements have become, and that, how over time they have changed the way they walk and hold themselves.
Within our day to day lives our connective tissue is a part of our body that we have completely underestimated and disregarded for too long – and I for one would love to learn much more about its quality and function.
Spot on Suse! I was amazed to learn about the importance and delicacy of the connective tissue and how it is everywhere in our body! Around all our organs, surrounding the muscles, all the tendons and ligaments and around our blood vessels, etc etc – we cannot escape its presence, and hence everything we do and how we do it impacts on the health of our connective tissue! What an amazing responsibility!
We have been sold a picture of what fitness involves and also being a man or a woman. These pictures fail to acknowledge the tenderness and absolute harmony that we can hold and can bring to life and to each other.
I think addressing the ‘rough and tough’ ideal that is often imposed on men is really important and so is addressing the lack of worth or value women often hold for their body and who they are – so that it becomes very natural for all to not accept abuse and in that help everyone to step up (or back we could say) to living with the kind of respect and love that is actually natural to us.
I’ve just completed a ECTT course and wow, I was blown away by the depth I was taken to in my body. It’s fast becoming my chosen modality.
ECTT is a grace to humanity as through this modality we are given the opportunity to experience how it is to live without the tension the body holds because of all the emotions and hurts we buried, sometimes deep, within the body because of us choosing to do so. But the problem is that when the body hardens we are less able to feel the precise cause of this hardening, but are left with a general feeling of unease instead without any clue of its root cause. ECTT on the other hand lets us to feel this root cause again, from which we can let it go and free the body from this burden.
I really like the way you have described hardness in the body Simon. It’s very relatable.
‘Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction. This means reacting way out of proportion when feeling threatened, even by someone who is not physically threatening you. Such ‘irrational’ behaviour goes hand in hand with hardness in the body, which can lead to people being abusive, or accepting abuse, as well as being a factor in many other lifestyle choices that do not make sense such as emotional eating, alcohol and drug abuse, and indeed any other choice that can harm our bodies.’
Simon, this is a fabulous series of understandings you are sharing with us here. I feel as if I have just reached a new level of clarity about my reaction to life and people is general… it’s all been a bit scary, I’ve hardened as a result, then been oblivious to the abusive choices I’ve made in disconnection from my essential tenderness.
I love that you have exposed the hardness that can be chosen but that also can be let go of when one’s sensitivity is honoured and tenderness embraced. Too many people, both men and women alike, have subscribed to the former at great harm to themselves and others, yet it is the latter that is our true nature and the foundation of true and loving relationships that could never tolerate abuse let alone participate in it.
We are raised to believe that boys are tougher than girls, that this is just the way they are, they don’t feel as much pain and if they do, they don’t like to show it. I wonder though how young our boys are making the decision to suppress or alter their true feelings? I know if a baby girl and a baby boy bumped their heads they would both cry but as they grow up, something changes along the way. As they become more aware of what is going on around them, what’s on TV, what the teachers says, what Mum and Dad say, what books say and what other children at school tell them, they are usually left with two choices. Hide their sensitivity and “fit in” or take it like a man, be vulnerable, cry when it hurts and bare all and be told your gay, a wimp or a pussy.
We have been so busy “fighting” for women’s rights I feel we have missed a huge part of the puzzle, Men have hardened to imagine they think they need to be in order to be liked, in order to be a “man”. I am so glad there are modalities being introduced that support men back to the true tender place they naturally had as babies.
It is so sad that men believe they have to ‘suck it up’ and harden in order to be considered a man. They already are men, there is no need to prove anything, and men are entitled to their feelings just as much as women. Somewhere we have gone very very wrong, and the effects of this are far reaching as stated here. To begin to bring an end to domestic violence we need to start with honouring and appreciating men’s natural tenderness – a quality that is super lovely and super important. Without this we will continue to be lost.
“Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.” I can so relate to this Simon, even when I have recognised I have hardened, the hardness does not just disappear. This is where Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a great support, when I surrender to the modality, it is amazing how the hardness falls away.
Thank you Simon for this very clear and detailed understanding of Connective Tissue and the importance of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy as presented by Serge Benhayon and Kate Greenaway.
We don’t realise the extent that our physical movements and thought/consciousness have on our energy levels and vitality and since receiving Esoteric therapies I can vouch for the fact that my mind has become much clearer, focussed and having the type of thoughts that I would like to have , and this is a direct correlation to the work done on the body – as Plato once said: The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
until I experienced Esoteric connective tissue therapy I didn’t realise how normalised I had made hardness and rigid movements in my body – it was such a blessing to deepen my rest and let go.
This is so true Harry, like many things it becomes normalised until we are shown another way.
‘Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction’ – This is a great definition Simon, and actually makes a lot of sense. If we were to address emotional distress by looking at how we respond to situations, and by creating more space to deal with things instead of going into a state of overwhelm then mental health and stress would become much more manageable.
Letting go of the hardness and long held tension in our bodies through Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is indeed a blessing, it is an amazing, simple and loving modality.
Having come under attack recently I can so relate to the hardening of the body as it contracts and protects itself from further onslaught. I have also wanted to protect myself by eating more and more filling foods and have found myself more withdrawn than usual. Looking back I can see how I have let the world impose on me and soldiered on, when I really needed to rest and recuperate. In being so tired I have less energy to deal with what is coming at me, it can become a vicious circle that only I can break and opportunities for this change keep coming till I say yes and realign consistently with an energy I know to be true.
One day we will all know that there is far more to us than a thinking head and a functional body. We are multidimensional divine beings choosing to live with a fraction of our innate awareness. The state of our world and all our issues reflect this discrepancy. And our body in its true expression is one of the greatest gifts and support for us to return to the glory and grace which we walked away from.
All Universal Medicine modalities offer powerful support for returning to our true expression on all levels.
Thank you Simon for your insightful blog on Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and its relationship to releasing tension that may contribute to abusive behaviour. There is much food for thought here in this sharing and your own experiences.
I have also found this modality so beautifully supportive to allow my body to open up and let go of the hardness and protection you write about, Simon.
Yes the power of releasing the shackles of protection is a huge weight lifted no doubt from the body and those we interact with.
Connective Tissue Therapy is one of the most powerful therapies for the physical body that exists on earth. The body loves it! You can feel it unwinding all the complicated and twisted ways that we have moved and set in our tissues, and releasing us back into the universal Love we come from – and it is such a non-invasive technique. One day the whole world will benefit from this amazing modality.
Our bodies are meant to flow and move with lightness and grace – a grace beyond what we would normally consider. That is what is Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy opens us up to – to move normally again in the truest sense that we can – that is, to move with God in our veins and our connective tissue. It is how our bodies are designed to be.
Simon, I’d never considered how deeply detrimental hardness is and how in fact it condemns those who live with it to be in constant emotional reaction, and of course that can and often does lead to violence. So any hardness on the spectrum is in fact contributing toward the extremes we see and abhor, and the fact that we actively promote this toughness for men is a crime and something we all need to look at as a society – Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is amazing in allowing us to feel what our bodies are like without hardness, and from there we can consider how we can take that into our everyday so we live in a way that does not promote hardness but celebrates the tenderness we naturally are.
What I have observed personally is that the more ease I have being in my body the less likely i am to react to an external trigger. Yesterday I watched a man in the swimming pool strongly overreact to the actions of another. What I observed in his body was a deep tension that caused him to feel a lot of unease and thus be easily triggered into an emotional response, in this case quite an extreme one. A modality such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy would no doubt help in such circumstances.
I recently had an accident rupturing the ligaments in one of my ankles. The pain of course was intense, but what was even more intense to feel was how hard I was moving for the accident to happen in the first place…. for this delicate part of my body to rupture the way it did, calling out to me that moving in such a hard way will no longer cut it.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is not only supporting an amazing acceleration of the recovery, and the healing of the shock and trauma held in the body after such an accident, it is also reconfiguring my body so that I am able to move in a much more gentle and harmonious way, in honour of the connective tissue pulse which knows harmony like nothing else.
Our bodies hold the key to the divinity we ought to be moving in. If we do listen, we will hear, we will move that way and we will know.
Your appreciation of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy I share Simon; I also appreciate you expanding my understanding of the healing qualities of this modality. What you have expressed here is so true, thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom;
“any one who receives ECTT gets to feel the hardness held in their body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that we can surrender to in treatments”.
It’s a beautiful feeling when we feel our connectve tissue expand. The tightness and hardness that was there is free to free up, expand and release. Allowing space in the body once again enables us to fully live in the moment in connection to oursleves and in connection with others without the hardness that you describe. We only need to give ourselves permission.
When I see a ‘chiselled’ body of a man in advertising, marketing etc. it always looks so unnatural and hard to me. I hadn’t appreciated before that it looks that way because the connective tissue is literally forming a protective layer over the muscles so they can never relax, let alone surrender. It’s such an exhausting way to live, always tense with a body that is just waiting to be attacked.
It makes a lot of sense to me that we toughen up and harden our body not just in protection because we don’t want to feel the hurt but also because we don’t want to accept and feel how beautifully tender and delicate we are, our natural state of being… it is no wonder that illness and disease sets in.
“Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.” Beautiful Simon. As a woman I too have hardness and find ECTT therapy so supportive in this regard, along with Esoteric arm massages.
Thanks, Simon, there is something about ECCT that I have also found very supportive in understanding the hardness I was and at times still hold. It is such a nurturing modality to receive and to offer
When we raise and impose on men to not be who they truly are then they are encouraged to not be truly connected with their body and essence and in that dis-connection very loveless behaviours can develop… I’m not saying this to make an excuse for anybody but to me it does bring a greater understanding of the forces at play in our lives and how we can begin to truly bring about change.
Simon what you have explained here about ECTT is truly awesome how it wraps around the the organs, muscles and nerves etc, what role it plays and how important it is. It is also great to understand how we hold the tension, hardness in our connective tissue, that causes more harm within our body. How awesome it is that we now have a modality that supports us to be able to release this hardness from our body and allowing us to connect to our tenderness again.
Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships. So great that you are connecting to your natural tenderness Simon as this natural tenderness needs to be reflect back so that all men get to see and feel its truth within themselves and choose to let go of the hardness and protection they have learnt to carry.
I loved your explanation of the connective tissue and the role it plays in our body, particularly the way it wraps itself around the muscles, organs, nerves etc. It allows for increased awareness, particularly in how we hold our body and the importance of not going into hardness. This is also important in understanding what happens for our little ones, particularly boys, and the pressure placed on them to conform to a certain way.
How often do we counter hardness in another with hardness in ourselves? Why join them in this disconnection? What are we afraid of? By strengthening our inner core and allowing more free flow in the energy throughout our body we become more connected to our selves on all levels. Interesting how connective tissue therapy brings this connective aspect to ourselves on many other levels than just the physical.
Esoteric Connective Tissue as a healing modality can have a profound effect on our bodies if we surrender during the treatment, and whilst in that surrendered state we get to feel and understand how intrinsically connected our body parts are – It shows us that we can have a whole new relationship with our bodies.
This explains why for the most part we walk around in ‘suits of lead’ when the truth is that it is our open-heartedness and the warmth of our connection with others that is our only true ‘protection’ in life.
The depth of understanding and connection you have with the Esoteric Connective Tissue modality Simon, as well as with the human body, is very clear Simon. It is beautiful to read this article, and to re-read it again, and feel the ebb and flow of the connective tissue within our bodies, its loving purpose to support us, held and expressed through the ebb and flow of your writing.
Unfortunately a lot of women are also very hard in their body many even proud that they are tougher than men. True power and strength is found in living in connection to our tenderness and sensitivity. I agree ECTT is an absolutely wonderful and very healing modality that supports us to return to our true power and connection.
“It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.” This is an incredible point you make, that the way our body is influences how we receive and understand life. I know when I am in reaction often there is first irritable feeling in my abdomen for instance or a tension from my study. I never react when I am having a delicious day and am tender with myself. Such a revelation!
I was amazed when I had my first session with Kate the small moments are so powerful and I felt so connected to my body and its natural expansiveness. I loved this session and have found it interesting how I have not been able to bring these exercises, which are literally a few minutes and require no effort, into my daily rhythm it is very exposing of how I am resisting going deeper in my relationship with myself.
‘Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies. ‘ It is so lovely that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is available to help men connect with their innate tenderness. It helps women too, and when women are able to feel deeper than the hardness and feel the natural tenderness in both ourselves and all the men we meet, relationships become much clearer, more open and more harmonious.
The images we carry are devastating to ourselves and the world. They are a way of controlling the world so that we won’t get hurt, but in fact we get far more hurt by hanging onto the images than if we release it and feel ourselves. The image of the ‘hard’ and ‘tough’ man is wrecking our relationships!
Men are brought up to be tough, not to cry, and as a result become insensitive, holding a hardness in their body that they use in order not to get to hurt, however men are truly very sensitive and through Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy it is possible to let go of the hardness that affects the choices we make, and become more connected to our body, making more loving choices and most of all allowing us to honour ourselves and the sensitivity that we hold within.
Thank you Simon for a clear and elucidating presentation of the importance of our body’s connective tissue and the effectiveness of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, which I completely endorse.
The small but profound movements of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy are incredible powerful, we become aware how sensitive and delicate we truly are instead of what is imposed upon us by images everywhere men and women alike.
I see the hardness equally in boys and girls and the consequences of needing to maintain this are devastating to watch.
Hello Simon, it is interesting how we can relate domestic violence to a hardening in the body, the hardening of the connective tissue that is that delicate tissue that is supporting all the organs and tissues in the body. To me it makes sense that this hardening of the connective tissue can make us make decisions in life that are abusive and sometimes even violent to our societies as we have lost that delicacy our connective tissue is bringing to us.
Well said Nico. If we are ‘hard’ it is like wearing a suit of armour that is impenetrable, insensitive to touch and restrictive in movement.
Sure Jonathan, do you know that feeling like you have a brick wall built around you to protect you from the harsh world, to me that is this hardening of the protective tissue, actually a prison we have build for ourselves. And this ‘brick’ wall is actually not protecting us at all but is only adding to the whole, as through it we are not able to show that we are that tender, delicate, flexible and lovely person to the world any more, but only can give the distorted expression of being hard and tough and restricted in our movements.
A beautifull testimony to Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. Also I feel this is something we should look into ‘Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction’ in how when we live in and by reaction just how much it affect us, our body, our well being and others, whereas if we observe life and respond instead of react as taught by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, the difference would be huge.
In your blog Simon, I noticed something that is stated that relates to how men see women also. You mention that we often say “don’t be a sissy” or don’t cry like a girl etc. which is not only sad for the boy but a put down for a girl too. Pointing out that this “soft” or sensitive behaviour is weak and beneath boys and men! This then sets up inequality between the sexes at an early age and may lead on to domestic violence down the track, something we are trying to address in society today!
It is interesting how you share Simon that having been a Yoga instructor can be perceived as someone who is gentle with their body on the exterior but what is played out on the inside is what has been shared in this powerful blog – the hardness that is not seen but felt. There are so many other sports and fitness techniques that are encouraging us to unwind, tone and strengthen the body yet the hardness is what often takes over and it is not until we experience a modality like the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy that we can register the true quality we can live in when we choose to connect to our ability to surrender and allow the body to just be.
This is such a groundbreaking article weaving societal moulding, the physical body and emotions and the inner being – thankyou Simon. Your description about how we suppress hurts and our sensitivity effectively hardening the connective tissue each time makes so much sense to me. No wonder so many human beings feel like they have an internal pressure cooker using ever increasing hardness and tension to suppress the truth of how they feel and of the sensitive beings they are.
ECTT is one of the modalities I still struggle with, not in the sense that it’s difficult to do but the levels of protection within my body that come to light can be very confronting when I don’t choose to take responsibility for why this hardness and control is in my body. Underneath all of it is my essence, a love that dispite the protection I can access and feel. The more I connect to this I am sure the hardness will melt away.
When I feel a hardness which is a horrible feeling in my body I cannot feel what is truly going on so it is imperative to clock when I go into reaction because that is when I feel hurt and go hard. We think it is ok and normal to go hard but I have come to realise the harm this does to my body and those around me. Feeling hard is not my natural way of being and when I acknowledge this I can begin to allow myself to feel what is underneath and let the hardness go to come back to my true state of being – a work in progress.
I too have come to this same realization Caroline and I do agree with you that hardness in the body is something that does not belong to us. The hardness makes it impossible to feel the tenderness and delicateness my body actually is, and when I do not feel that, I am able abuse it without noticing and every time I allow abuse to my body, I am adding to the hardening of the body, as that is its natural reaction to abuse.
It’s taken me a while to get to this point but now I am beginning to see that every moment I am feeling and sensing so much that is going on around me. And if I don’t appreciate this, I can easily react and find myself slipping into annoyance, irritation and anxiety. Really, this has been quite normal for me and a day when it’s lower is what I call ‘good’. Now thanks to the Esoteric Healing modalities you mention Simon, like Connective Tissue, I am starting to see just how much there is going on within and without me.
Thank you for your comment Joseph, it’s a very honouring statement representing all human beings about how much you are constantly feeling and sensing around you. With our natural and innate sensitivity not being regarded as normal for all, it’s understandable how many people would be moving through each day with hardness in their connective tissue. I still have to remind myself daily to check in with how I feel, and each time I do my whole body literally melts and becomes softer.
I had never thought of our connective tissue as ‘armour’ we wear to protect us from being hurt, but this makes so much sense. However, there is no true protection on offer when we, both men and women, harden up to not feel our hurts because the hurt remains locked in our body behind these fortress walls. I am learning, thanks to this modality and through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, that our only true protection comes from letting down these walls and allowing ourselves to see and feel it all, to live the love that we are, in full, in every given moment despite what may be coming at us. Work in progress!
Thank you Simon for this beautiful blog, it’s high time men spoke out about their true sensitivity and delicate nature. The more I sit with this the more I can see that almost all of the difficulties and strife I experience in life comes from overriding and ignoring the small things that I feel. This ability to sense informs me in a way, anger, aggression and physical strength never will.
Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy is a reminder to our bodies of its natural gentle flow. I have found when I have treatments, my body responds by surrendering to something that feels familiar. Any tension that I have been holding starts to melt away. When I maximise on the session I then bring this gentle knowing out into the world with me and my movements change. It certainly makes me feel more connected to my body.
“Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies. “This can then lead to a feeling of the importance of them needing to be powerful and strong and a wanting to be in control. As a mother I was very aware of how I didn’t want my sons to be raised like this. We are all tender gorgeous human beings. Time for us all to release the hardness in our bodies – whatever our gender.
Simon, I absolutely love what you have shared here about domestic violence and the connection with men in our society feeling like they have to harden up from a young age, and how important it is for men to look at this and learn that they have a choice. And then there is also the flip side of the coin – it is equally important for all of us as women to look at how we allow or possibly even foster the violence that is often rife in our own homes. There are many women who stay in violent relationships and in this way they do feed this violence against all women including themselves with their silence. So it is also important for us as women to look at how we see ourselves and why we allow something that does not have to be that way.
I have been in a relationship in the past that was emotionally manipulative and at times was bordering on being physically abusive too – and I stayed in this relationship knowing that the man I was with had an amazing potential, and I was convinced that he would soon live that. But there came a point where I just knew I needed to leave the relationship, no matter how much I loved him. It was one of the hardest things for me to do, but at the same time it felt like the most beautiful thing to do out of respect and care for myself. I consider myself very lucky to have had the self love and self respect to leave such a relationship – many women have not taken the opportunities to build this for themselves and I feel this is where the actual issues lies. As women, men, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friend etc…we all have many many opportunities to support everyone to learn to value themselves and each other. The question is how much are we doing this? How much are we taking time to value ourselves and remind each other of how precious we are?
By expressing how we feel, by being aware of the tense parts of our bodies that tension does release as if our voice gives it permission to leave, it’s out in the open and out of our bodies. But that tension does act like an armour that numbs and what I’ve found over time is that the more I express how I feel the less chance something has to go from a tension to a hardening to a numbness. And the more I do express how I feel those layers of armour that have formed get to come up and be healed as they aren’t being pushed down by more and more layers being placed on top.
I wonder how many discomforts and conditions could be undone or at least eased by a release of tension and hardness in the body. Becoming hardened to what is around us means we have less awareness of when things are painful, or to heat, cold, light, touch, noise etc. Yet we really should embrace sensitivity, as it is our greatest quality, and to not feel this is only storing up in our bodies, tension that at some point is going to need to come out. I guess we can either choose to let it out through something such as Connective Tissue Therapy and exercises, or we can have it forced upon us through the myriad of conditions that affect the body such as depression, musculo-skeletal conditions, cancer, and heart disease to name a very few.
The toughness we ask men to portray and display feels like a deep injustice and assault on their true nature, which is made up of sensitivity, tenderness and gentleness and a whole lot more that doesn’t have anything to do with the images we project onto men.
The ECTT is a beautiful therapy for helping us to reconnect with our bodies at any time, and I agree with how it can help to reduce the hardness. In my case the hardness comes from thinking about things I have to do, I put a kind of push into all my movements and that makes my body go hard. More recently I’ve been recovering from major surgery and have found it an important aspect of my recovery process.
Your explanation of ECTT is so enlightening and I appreciate this modality is a healing not only to the body, but shifts and supports the body to reconnect to the constellation we are originally from.
When I hear the words connective tissue compared to organ like the liver or kidneys, there is a feeling that the organ are more important, however increasingly I am observing and feeling how every single part of our bodies have an important role to play and if one small part is not working at its optimum, then everything is affected.
It fascinates me how simple small changes to how we treat ourselves can ripple out and have a profound affect on other areas of our lives. I really love having Esoteric Connective Tissue sessions. It helps me connect back to a natural flow I feel within, and there is a sense of the hardness melting away as I gradually let go of the tenseness i can habitually hold onto.
Yesterday i found myself clenching my teeth as I tried to cut a thick trunk of ivy from behind a trellis on the wall of the house. I was in fight or survival mode’ As I clocked this I realised my whole body was tense and that I was letting the determination to cut this ivy overrule the honouring of my body. Other movements during the several hours of gardening were really performed too strenuously too. Today I have pain behind my eyes as if to say watch what you are doing or you will cause harm to your body. The choice to do this work myself in the first place may not have been that wise and it is great to look at the ideals and beliefs that led me to this decision.
The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a very efficient tool to get us to feel that there is more to us. It’s way more than just relaxing, it introduces to the body a stillness that makes that “armour” you mention to melt and it’s easier to get to feel our true essence in a very practical way.
I can feel my body switch from feeling free to feeling tight and your article reminds me of what is going on in my body at that time. We have a choice to be gentle and open or not and yet how many times do we push on and through these feelings? Time to take more responsibility for these amazing bodies we have. I know that the better I treat mine the more it responds and the more responsibility I am willing to accept, the more expansion and joy there is to feel and thus live.
By experiencing Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy sessions I can feel how hard or contracted my body had become, this therapy literally feels like it is melting you, divine. ‘At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.’
Thank you Simon. Your blog highlights so clearly what an amazing and profoundly healing modality ECTT is.
Hardness is a refusal to feel, it is a rejection of something innately natural to us, hardness is a going against of what is simply natural—whether we are a man or woman, we are naturally sensitive and tender.
I can’t remember a particular point as a child where I took on hardness but I remember many bracing moments where I shut down to situations where I felt unsafe. Celebrating toughness in boys is such a stupid trait we have developed and has served to create a lot of tension and resultant issues for men and as a result for society. I reckon the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy should play a big role in addressing this and creating many male role models who hold their bodies with ease and gentleness instead of a bracing hardness and protection.
Simon what makes so much sense is that if we allow hardness in our bodies then this is one of the steps towards domestic violence, rather than tackle the end problem which is running out of control, if we tackle the root, supporting us to live the tenderness and sensitivity that we are, then that will allow a true and sustained healing. From my experience Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a therapy that the entire world could benefit from receiving.
It is interesting that one is capable of crying in a very hard and aggressive way, even being a bully in the process. In other words, even crying can be subverted.
Brilliant article Simon and raises very topical issue. Suicide rates among men are rising as society continually asks them to ‘toughen up’. True power and strength is in our tenderness and sensitivity.
Thank you Simon that was very interesting and educational and makes a lot of sense. I had an Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy session today as I was feeling a lot of grief in my body following the recent death of my mother. I very deeply relaxed in the session and felt a lot of tension and sadness leave my body.
As we let go of the hardness and protection we have built in our bodies, it is possible to reconnect with our natural sensitivity and tenderness.
I’ve recently had an ECTT session after not having one for a long time. At the time it can feel like all you’re doing is lying there and not much is going on, because we are so used to the poking and prodding and physical nature of most physical therapies. But often without realising, it’s doing a hell of a lot more than meets the eye. It’s actually even enough to do just lie there flat and have that moment to stop and feel your body, which is for me, often uncomfortable and takes a bit of time for my lower back to settle. It highlights where tension is that we perhaps have been ignoring. It’s very cool!
Thank you Simon for highlighting the degree of harm that is payed forward in all of our lives, whilst we continue to raise our boys to override and forgo embracing their sensitivity, their natural way of being. The pictures we as a society currently run by, of what a man should be or look like, is damaging and stunting the incredibly tender loving and caring quality that men would otherwise naturally share with us all.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a beautiful modality that allows you to feel the natural flow and rhythm through your body.
I love it that inside our bodies is a tissue whose purpose is all about connection (tenderness) and not protection (hardness). I also love all that you have shared from your perspective Simon. It confirms for me the knowing that our only true protection is to deeply connect with our true selves, each other and the world we are a part of.
Society is set up to have us believe that men have to be tough to be a ‘real and successful man’. How real is it when we (both men and women), heap abuse on ourselves through ill-choices that simply contract the body through the hardness of protection. Connective Tissue Therapy offers the opportunity to feel how the body is naturally designed to be, if we make different choices in the quality of how we live.
“one very important aspect of this is the hardness that men develop in their bodies and the insensitivity that goes with it”.
I had never really associated hardness as being at the core of domestic violence but, of course, it makes sense. As you say, young boys are taught from quite an early age to toughen up and in so doing they also learn to abandon their natural sensitivity and gentleness. Then it is only a matter of time before they become more and more disconnected with their true feelings and believe that being tough and rough is the way all ‘real’ men behave.
It makes total sense that if we are rough, hard and tough with our movements then the whole body will be affected, and this blog clearly shows that we do not have to live with a hardness and that it is a choice.
Whenever I do connective tissue exercises, very gentle subtle movements in full awareness and connection to my body I feel so melted and tender inside that I can’t possibly move after that in any way that is disharmonious. It becomes so obviously unnatural to do so.
“one very important aspect of this is the hardness that men develop in their bodies and the insensitivity that goes with it”. It makes complete sense Simon that if men (or women for that matter) harden their bodies to conform to the rough and tough education that men receive from all angles, their bodies are not going to be sensitive or tender enough to feel all kinds of things, this undoubtedly plays it’s role in the way and manner and degree of gentleness they then treat others.
The ripple effect of when we condition sensitive and tender boys to grow up to be tough hard and insensitive men affects our society deeply and domestic violence is but one symptom of this and needs to change. I have no doubt that simple teachings of body awareness and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and Exercises will be a tremendous support in this turn around.
“Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies.” Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality to support in breaking down this hardness in both men and women, and allowing the muscles and tissues to connect to the true tenderness.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy feels like it has huge potential to be a transformational healing modality in our world – and a very natural extension of our current medical model. Learning to work with the wisdom of our bodies seems like common sense to me – as opposed to the way we all too often live in ways that do not honour our natural healing essence.
Whenever I have had a ECTT session I never leave in the same way I arrived… I can not help but be gentle with my movements and consider myself way more and my body and how I am using it. It’s like I have a renewed awareness to every part of my body and what makes that change or not. From this, I could never be aggressive or hard. What you have shared Simon needs to be front page news… its medicine.
What you share here is very true and very important. The tension builds in our bodies and creates a hardness that means when we react we can react in a way that is out of proportion to the event – in fact we could even take it back so far as to say we could, had we not had a high level of tension in our bodies, we could have simply responded to the event. This is a very practical blog which can raise our awareness and mean we experiment with ourselves and let our bodies and its tension feed us back the results.
I have found Connective Tissue Therapy to be one of the most powerful, supportive and healing modalities. If we so chose it’s capacity to heal hardness, protection and the subtle effects of abuse is extraordinary.
Being someone who has had some amazing results from Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy I cannot recommend it highly enough to anyone who has any form of pain and discomfort not just in their bodies, but in their lives. After living in pain from a particular issue for much of my life, and trying every modality there was available, I can unequivocally say that as a result of having ECTT treatments and doing the exercises every day for that last few years, that I now am in the main pain free, with a body that is more flexible than it has ever been, and I walk and move with a flow that feels delicious in its freedom.
‘ECTT is a very gentle therapy performed lying on a massage table, which has been found to be great for the relief of pain.’ A truer word was never spoken. ECTT is extraordinary in its power or realigning the human body back to its natural rhythm, state and shape. A Study has been recently done on patients over a time period where the pain levels have been measured showing that pain is significantly reduced and in some cases completely cleared. This is massively important data that needs to be shared with the medical world.
Thank you Simon, and what is now needed more than anything is for men like yourself, who have a sense of presence, innate power, and yet are able to show the world their tenderness… This is the role model that is most needed, because without this reflection man locked in his hardness and separation has nowhere to go.
Thank you Simon for simply explaining what happens to the physical body when our response to something in life is to go into protection, and the result of such change in our physiology. It makes complete sense that when we have hardened up our body in protection, we lose our sensitivity and thus our ability to truly feel and respond to what is going on around us. I can imagine how that can in turn lead to more bewilderment and more protection, hence a vicious downward cycle. The Esoteric Connective Tissue modality is indeed a heaven sent in its fundamental support to return to return to the innate sensitivity we all have deep down.
Connective tissue therapy Is one of the most powerful, subtle, and extraordinary healing modalities… Having just come out of hospital with a row of 60 metal staples holding me together, I found that this modality was wonderfully beneficial in assisting in the healing process.
Nothing is without cause and effect for every tension we experience emotionally it precipitates in the body.
Hi Simon, what you share as I reread this article is so important. We will only harden up when we feel we need to protect ourselves in one way or another. Serge Benhayon shared yesterday that movement was the connective tissue of the universe! This was massive for me to hear and I immediately understood how important my movements are to the state of my body and the ripple effects of all that I think feel and do. I can also immediately relate this to domestic violence and how we must harden our movements – breathing, thinking, feeling and expression of any kind to cause such harm to another and ourselves.
As I woman I lived for many years in hardness, bracing myself for what might come next. I can see now that this was simply a form of protection constructed as a result of my many life experiences and the hurts that I had held on to. What exhausting and harming choices to inflict on my naturally delicate body.
I can feel how messages like ‘big boys don’t cry’ have become hardness in my body – very clearly. The resistance to crying is very strong – and what a huge effort it is to hold back all those feelings.
One of the jobs I do is to be an ‘appropriate adult’ for young offenders, times when I have gone to custody to meet them I can feel their sensitivity and have observed the tenderness in their hands. So as a society we have a responsibilty to allow them to be this, to have this as the ‘normal’ for boys, young men and men. Great article. Even though I considered myself to be relaxed whilst reading I could feel all the muscles within my body let go more. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is incredibly healing, I have experienced this many times. Gosh how must we all be walking around then? With tense hard bodies!!!!
So true and important to state Vicky, everyone deserves to be seen and met for the love and tenderness they are, even if not meeting themselves in that way. Because then, we all begin to support each other with a consistent reflection of what normal can truly be.
I can also vouch for the essential quality of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy to help let go of the old patterns that are held within our body, that flavor all our interactions.
Thank you Simon, I loved reading your article, and feeling for myself how beautiful it is to receive Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. A great explanation of what is going on in the body especially for men and how ECTT works to soften the hardness and bring in more feeling and sensitivity.
Thankyou Simon for such a beautifully detailed explanation of the connective tissue and how it works in the body and by hardening it therefore affects all areas of the body. I have a much deeper understanding now of how connective tissue therapy works.
Simon,
As I re read your article tonight I have a deeper appreciation of the difficulties men have in feeling their natural tenderness. The pressure on boys and men to not show their feelings is huge and is still rife in todays society. We need articles like yours to begin to address the way boys are treated and how they are guided as they head towards adulthood. If there was a greater understanding of the physical damage that living hard has on our bodies, then maybe this would be a trigger for there to be more open honest discussion in our homes with men and boys feeling the hurts and daily challenges of life and sharing this openly with family and friends, not to change anything, but to simply share the reality of life and to let go of these hurts so the tenderness that lies within, can again be felt and lived. Thank you for being one of these men.
Whether it is through food, movement or just the way you choose to feel inside you, this hardness I can see is a great addiction for me. It blocks out what I feel in life and numbs away the things I sense, so I can continue on obliviously. But once you get a taste of the way your body can feel after Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, you start to see that this hardness is horrible and not at all the way you want to be. And so there becomes a switching between these two states until being connected becomes your new normal. Just like having the central heating on, it is crazy to consider that you ever lived without this feeling of being connected to your body and the whole of life. Thank you Simon for joining up the dots for us.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing experience. Such subtle, gentle movements leading to profound effects in the body. And yes, the increase in awareness of how we misuse our bodies is very revealing. Our bodies are constantly communicating with us in every moment and when I listen and respond, there is a new flow and openness in me.
I agree. It is quite an insight to firstly consider that connective tissue can tense up and then to find ways to release that tension.
Teaching boys that they need to be rough and tough sets up an image about life that feeds an expectation of what the world is like. This then becomes self-fulfilling – we expect it so we create it – ‘you’re gonna get hurt out there – so protect yourself’ – and in the hardness we take on we disconnect from others into a protective shell and treat other people with suspicion. Letting down the guard and opening up to people is a great thing to experience because it ‘proves the point’ – that when we are open, others respond to our openness.
Thank you Simon, this is a great blog with so much valuable information and wisdom. You sum it all up beautifully in this statement;
“choices can be easily made when we begin to feel and appreciate what a difference it (ECTT) makes to our energy levels, our self-confidence and our overall quality of life”.
Domestic violence is a subject that has many different options but most of us agree that it is an important issue that needs attention. Sadly, on a larger scale we are not yet bringing a responsibility to raising boys with equal sensitivity to girls, articles and discussions like these are what will assist to turn the tide.
Simon thank you for your amazing informational blog. There are not so many people aware that: “At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting. ” This information is confirming and deepens my feeling that everything I do has an effect on my body and therefore it showed me my responsibility to treat my body in each moment respectfully.
Thanks you for sharing this life experience Simon. You are a messenger for all men (and women): My personal experience of ECTT and Esoteric Healing began several years ago when as a fitness and Yoga instructor I considered myself to be very strong, fit and flexible. Through these deeply connected modalities I became aware of the hardness in my body and this awareness was integral to how I changed my exercise and Yoga practice. The sensitivity I reclaimed meant listening to my body and exploring a totally different relationship with it to avoid any insult I was causing my body through intense, forceful or jarring exercise or stretching.
The whole relationship between the sexes needs a complete ‘overhaul’ or ‘make over ‘ (depending on whether you are a boy or a girl!). I was looking at an episode of Madmen the other day to find a pertinent quote and the ad man Don was arguing for not dumping the account of a small airline in order to get the bigger business of American Airways. He brought a convincing and humane case for loyalty to this smaller company who were great to deal with . . . and was told in no uncertain terms to ‘take his dress’ off and act like a ‘man.’
Men are often humiliated if they show any signs of tenderness, care, compassion and decency, and FURTHER to this, it is intended as a great insult to be anything like a WOMAN. WE sorely need education in this area of our lives, and Connective Tissue therapy is a great educator for us to learn to live with the wisdom from our bodies which knows how tender and strong a man can be and how utterly beautiful and healing this is.
Men and women have both fallen into this trap of body image. One only needs to go to any gym to find the gym-athletes there just competing to have the hardest body. The problem is there is never a winner or a finishing line to cross because there is always more to be done to reach that ever unattainable perfect body. All of the hard work makes our connective tissue like guitar strings. Where is the tenderness in this? To look at what a lifetime of this pursuit looks like, find a current photo or recent movie that has Sylvester Stallone in it, it is what tenderness is not!
In telling men to “toughen up” we are essentially telling them that it is not ok to feel. With this message still being pushed in society, the levels of alcohol abuse, domestic violence and depression are no surprise.
It is worth pondering the link between living in hardness and what this article share about our connective tissue, in relation to cardiovascular disease which literally involves hardening of the arteries of our bodies, when we consider that every blood vessel has connective tissue wrapping around it.
I have been recently working with and more deeply pondering on the way we have created ‘conditions’ in our lives – both medical conditions and, importantly, conditions we hold around life, eg.’ if people do not behave the way I think is in integrity I feel hurt or insulted or reactive’. It was interesting to re-read what you have said here Simon, in the light of what I have been more deeply realising: ‘At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting’. We can only get insulted if we have a condition around the way people should behave towards us. If we simply observe then our connective tissue will not contract and will keep harmoniously holding the muscles, blood vessels and organs. In this way we will not then create a medical ‘condition’.
Well said Lyndy and it’s true, the power of acceptance in observation bringing all of ourselves including our deep love and understanding to what is going on. Such a way of being can change the world and in the microcosm of our bodies, can change the way we live and relate to so much of what is going on in life.
This is one of my favourite articles. You say Simon: ‘Asked at the end of the discussion to state, in their opinion, what was the most important thing to tackle about domestic violence, the man replied that men needed to get rid of the rough and tough image of what it was to be a man’. This is so important. All of us run our lives through trying to live up to an image and create a world accordingly! This man knew it and we all know it. This is where we all go astray, and not just men. Women have a separate set of images that we try to live up to and that creates an equal havoc as the men doing theirs. And both play into domestic violence. We as a race need to stop ‘creating’ through images in this way, and begin to live who we truly are.
When we don’t express, and we hold things in, this can become a hardness in the body and then it will affect the way we walk and the way we talk. On the other hand, when we don’t try to control the situation or when we don’t have an investment, and we just share openly, then there can be a release of held tension from not sharing and it can feel amazing.
This is a very interesting account of the effect of hardness in the body. So many woman are also adopting this way of life and are perpetrators of domestic violence abandoning their true natural tender fragile essences with a huge impact on their health and wellbeing.
This blog beautifully explains the contrast between having a hardness in our bodies and the tender experience of being in your body after a session in Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy.
Yes this is true science Simon and Stephen, and just what is needed to debunk the insidious commonly held belief that tenderness is not a trait to strive for in the world today and that fragility is reserved for weaklings. The opposite is true, a man or woman who honours their sensitivity is a man or woman in their power, reflecting to everyone around them that absolutely they feel, and in that clairsentience they know what is true and what isn’t true — a amazing way to go through life.
The description here of the physiological effect of not expressing what is in our bodies is quite brilliant. To consider that this is something I have not ever seen in any medical text or research papers, this is what I would call new science. A way of looking at physiology with true intelligence that will allow us to get to the root cause of ill health and allow us to understand why people behave so erratically or violently without any reasonable cause.
In there could be a goal within life to get the best possible body. You must consider your connective tissue being a defining factor.
This is a brilliant article Simon. It so clearly and practically leads us through the link between the way that young boys are brought up to be hard and ‘suck it up’ and the end result that occurs down the track, with domestic violence which is now a pandemic world wide. This article is a chapter in a medical book that needs to be written about life-styles and the diseases that go with them.
Thank you Simon for bringing to our awareness that there are great supportive therapies, such as Connective Tissue, available to both men and women alike.
I have found that the way I move impacts my thoughts. When I move in a way that is jarring and in disregard, I find my thoughts follow suit and when I move connected to myself, I find that it is natural for me to be delicate and gentle in the way I move and things I touch and my thoughts are far more appreciative.
It is beautiful to watch men walking and holding hands or hugging with tenderness and yet it is something that is almost unheard of. Women do not want tough and aggressive men, we want to see the sensitivity and tenderness that so often remains hidden.
Thank you for explaining the connection between physical hardness and our connective tissue, it makes so much sense. As does Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and its many benefits, one being the experience of spaciousness and ease we can have in our body and all movements.
The relationship between hardness in men and depression seems fairly obvious to me. We have such a pressure put upon men to perform a certain role, yet if we observe men we come in all shapes and sizes, and sensitivity is as strongly felt as it is in women, so it stands to reason that if we squash this sensitivity, it is going to cause hardness in our bodies and stress in our psyche.
Having grown up in an environment where I learned from an early age to harden myself to avoid feelings, I can relate somewhat to how it must feel for many men around the world who have received the message that hardness equals toughness. It’s such a short step from this self abuse to domestic violence (DV). We only have to look around to know that DV is in plague proportions in our world. Simon, this makes your message so valuable. We may not all live in areas where it is physically possible to have ECCT sessions, but we can certainly all take steps to work on learning to regain our tenderness and gentleness, which our connective tissue in our bodies will thank us for.
I found your blog Simon really informative in explaining some behaviours and bodily reactions to certain triggers. As you so clearly point out Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality to bring us back to stillness and to connect to the love we so naturally are.
When a person is ready to embrace how sensitive they are, there is no limit to how deeply they can surrender through Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy to the living pulse of stillness within.
Esoteric connective tissue therapy for me, connects me to the rhythm of my body that flows through every cell. It allows me to feel the way I am part of everything and how this harmonious rhythm flows through me. It is total surrender to this. I can totally understand that when we harden our bodies, we disconnect from this and become very individual. Once disconnected, it is a small step that allows abuse.
Thank you Simon for sharing your experience of Connective Tissue Therapy. I can absolutely agree with you that the simple and gentle stretches, and exercises given by Kate Greenaway are so effective. The beautiful treatment is so nurturing too.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy brings the essence of surrender to us in a therapy. The movement is palpable where the practitioners hands are placed conducting small circular movement. Because of the sensitivity offered in those movements to the the natural rhythm and pulse of the body, there is a sure and consistent call to feel the movement spread into nearby body parts and flow into the whole body. This allows awareness where some parts may hold resistant to letting go. Sensitivity expands from the physical to an energetic one, in the particles of the body and the space between, which are all equally affected by the rhythm and flow of the movement based on a natural pulse inherent in all life. We therefore are offered a very tangible marker of what surrender means in an expansive and deepening way.
Connective tissue therapy is an amazing modality for men and woman alike. I have held lots of hardness in my body over the years. Having sessions with Kate Greenaway has allowed me to let go of so much of that hardness, its like being wrapped up in a blanket by your mum when you are a baby, you just melt.
This has been a fascinating read in terms of explaining irrational behaviour in some men and their ability to abuse women, and it makes me aware of how sensitive we are to a verbal insult: friends often insult each other as friendly banter and they have no awareness of the harm it can do within our bodies, let alone the mental torture more serious insults can induce, ‘At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.’
Understanding more about connective tissue and how it impacts us in our body is truly amazing. Along with understanding how men are conditioned from such a young age to hold onto this hardness, which in turn stays in their connective tissue. What a blessing esoteric connective tissue therapy is and what it can do to support not only men, but all who wish to connect back to themselves and live with more awareness and responsibility.
Isn’t it amazing Joe how connective tissue functions on so many levels and how our bodies are such a great reflection of how our lives can be too, if we choose awareness?
I like the breakdown of the connective tissue function, very informative thanks Simon
I keep coming back to this blog and am blown away by your description Simon, and the fact that we are all divinely engineered in such a delicate way. I feel like this level of intimate connectedness ingrained in our very fibre, should be one of the first things any human being should hear or learn at school.
So agree Joseph about this “intimate connectedness ingrained in our very fibre”, and it relates to some blogs I have been connecting with lately about knowing love from the moment we are born and if school was a way of learning that first confirmed this and then celebrated all our natural expression from it, how intimate the whole of life might be?
Esoteric Connective tissue sessions are absolutely power-full. From feeling so hard across my chest and stiff in my legs, my body has let go of a lot of hardness, and anxiousness. This has allowed for a deepening connection to my body which has led to ‘a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.’ I am letting people in more.
The power of this modality is a testament to the levels of awareness and tenderness you were able to deepen in your body in turn saying no more to the hardness. What a great reflection for our society in this day and age where the hardness of a man both on the inside and out is often praised and encouraged in all forms of media.
Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy is like a miracle, it is so subtle and yet has such far reaching effects. And yet it is so practical, and humanity needs this modality to be taken up by all of our health care services.
It is still so surprising to me how my body responds in Esoteric Connective Tissue sessions – how such slight movement reverberates up through my body, allowing me to feel any tension or holding, even at very deep levels and yet because the action is so gentle, any intensity in the body can be just observed and let go of. At this point there is that great feeling of being a vessel unclogging and being able to receive the most glorious energetic flow.
It is a modality that performs miracles with gentle movement and energetic flow. Technique is so subtle that one is able to drop into deep surrender and allow the energy to flow through.
Agree cjames. And I feel that the ‘miracle’ that you call it is actually just a reflection of the ‘miracle’ that our body is. This amazing modality is in full respect of that ‘miracle’ and thus when the body is met with such grace it can release all its ills.
Hardness is conditioned into all of us men so early in life, and in its place is numbness, and then the extremes that we go to to feel anything is seen throughout history, in the plague of destruction and horror that has been with us for so long.
I hadn’t heard Connective Tissue explained this way till today and it makes so much sense Simon. To know clearly that beneath the muscle strains and bruises lies a delicate fabric of fibres that transmit and conduct our warmth and love, gives me such a feeling of tenderness for me and every body.
Hi Simon, thank you for explaining about what connective tissue is and what it does, especially how it hardens as tension builds in our bodies, it explains why, when I was lying down, with no need for any muscle movement, my body was still tense. Thanks to many session of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy with Universal Medicine Practitioners I have been learning to release that tension and truly relax. ECT has enabled me to be more aware of what is going on in my body so that I can release the tension and let go of the hardness. It is a most beautiful therapy – I love the tingling feeling as my whole body comes alive with its new found freedom.
Connective tissue therapy is very gently yet profoundly powerful treatment that has the ability to bring us back to a place of tenderness rather then carrying around the hardness and protection in our bodies. I agree it is a profound treatment for both victims and perpetrators of domestic violence for in its tenderness it allows us to feel our natural way of being in the body. I have seen profound changes in my friends baby after just one session of connective tissue therapy. Her daughter became soft and cuddly and seemed to relax into her body without the need to constantly cry with distress. It was amazing to feel her new level of surrender into her little body, it was like holding a different baby after this treatment for she felt so soft and tender and allowed people in.
Nicole I got the clear sense reading this that the deep level of surrender the child experienced was as much related to feeling the love flowing through the connective tissue into organs and the trust she was able to arrive at, as much as the mechanical ripple effect of the gentle movement in the ECTT session. A truly amazing combination that needs no technical understanding to benefit from as you have shared.
Connective tissue is a very supportive modality that has assisted me in developing a closer relationship with my body and allows me to feel the areas of hardness that I have been carrying out of a false sense of protection.
Nicole it us a beautiful modality that allows us and supports us to let go of he hardness and protection we have been carry in our body. I have been having connective tissue for a few years and my body has changed so much, a lot of hardness as faded away.
What a thorough and great overview of how our bodies deal with hardness and in particular what men deal with in their lives. It is so true that men are labeled in our society from a very early age, to not be who the truly are, which is, as gentle and tender as women. Understanding more about how the connective tissue in our body is impacted when we harden is truly fascinating, bringing continued awareness to this can assist in breaking the cycle of hardness.
Connective Tissue Therapy has been the most helpful treatment I have had, for my back , neck and many other areas of my body, and for feeling the tenderness that I am.
Yes I agree Roslyn, I’ve been a bit stressed recently and I have found Connective Tissue techniques have helped incredibly.
“The fact that it wraps around muscles, joints and bones, all of our blood vessels, nerves and organs, plus throughout our central nervous system, the spine and brain, indicates how important connective tissue is to our general wellbeing.” Your description of how universally connective tissue is in every part of the body Simon, can be felt the moment we contract through fear or reaction. I find most people I talk to have no idea what connective tissue is despite the fact that its name describes it perfectly. Once we know what it is, we can start to feel it and the effects that our reactions have upon it. In a connective tissue session, feeling the releasing of the inner organs is often a new experience that can be felt for ourselves as we gradually find we can become more conscious of them. The messages the connective tissue gives us are so clear if we understand this connection, for instance, “when I have a headache am I reacting to something and contracting around my brain?”
So descriptive Joan, when we understand the connective tissue connects all parts of the body, it’s logical that it has such an effect on the body. For mainstream therapists, this part of the anatomy is rarely studied in depth, yet it has a profound effect on all the other tissues. After a Connective Tissue treatment , we can feel the difference in the body as it releases, and this increases the awareness of the whole body.
Beautifully said and I get the clear feeling in what you write of the understanding that in becoming aware of our connective tissue, it supports us to becomes aware of energy in our bodies and the quality it brings, for example to our organs. They become expanded and fiery and tender, or contacted, denser and harder. This can be felt, certainly as a practitioner of Sacred Esoteric Healing when feeling another’s body and so too in very gentle delicate movement in one’s own. It is the connection to feeling energy as the quality of stillness and love as an energy embodied that is perhaps the most true representation of science that our bodies can be an instrument of.
I am very aware Simon, that many women also live in this way with a protection that creates hardening of themselves and therefore of the whole body. I know from my own experience that I have lived in that “male” energy from early on in my life. Now, after experiencing Connective Tissue Therapy I feel releases I could not have imagined possible before and I also appreciate how the men who are Universal Medicine Students show me a true gentleness I have never experienced in men before, and that is truly supportive of me as a woman, and reflects to me how I can be in my true nature.
I can so relate to what you are saying Joan Christine. I too forgot my feminine sacredness. In my youth I was a student activist – marching against wars etc. – fighting for truth and equality. Only very recently did the stance of my hips and sacrum start releasing, through Connective Tissue Therapy. I had tied myself up in knots with the way I approached life and this was clearly displayed in my body. Connective Tissue Therapy is the greatest possible support and gives you a chance to feel truth in your body.
As I read your amazing blog again Simon I am aware of another level of understanding as to the way, and why, I began to harden my body in response to what life was seemingly throwing at me. Now I realise that I was simply attracting these challenges and the ensuing choice to harden was mine and mine alone. To now have such an amazing therapy to assist in the dismantling of this wall of hardness is the greatest and most welcome gift; the doorway to another and most joyful way of living.
Connective tissue therapy is an extraordinary tool to help us to come back to ourselves, really and simply to get back in touch with our bodies… And this is essential if we are to nurture ourselves enough so that we can say no to things as invasive as domestic violence… Because until then so many people think that this is just the way things are and they know no different.
Well said Chris – it is essential for us get back in touch with our body and develop our connection with how we are really feeling. Through this we can begin to let go of ways of being and living that aren’t true for us. And Connective Tissue Therapy is an awesome support with this.
Thank you Simon – you clearly and simply show the depth of impact it has when we expect men to toughen up. They are being asked to be something that is not true for them and that creates many ills in their body and expression. Great to raise awareness around this and point out how unnatural it is to ask them to be this way and the far reaching implications it has.
Agreed Fiona. The reality is that more and more women are also adopting this way of living and competing with men in a hard, tough manner so I am imagining the impact this way of living is having on humans everywhere. How ridiculous that we often champion and condone such a way of living when it is destructive in every way.
Reading your comment Helen I am reminded of the saying “cause and effect” if you harden the body to protect yourself then it is of course going to affect the level of fluidity we have in our connective tissue. If we look at our body as being a weapon, we come with a responsibility to not harden our bodies, because when we harden our bodies we put people off love and opening up but when our bodies are fluid and in its natural state it says to others, it is all okay and allows them to surrender and open up.
Helen it is really sad that both men and women are taking this hardening approach in the world. We are all seeing and feeling the impact it’s having on everyone, with the wars, illnesses and diseases.
Yes Fiona and so many men these days are hurting which is reflected by the alarming high rates of suicide amongst men. We need to deeply care for our men and stop this expectation of ‘toughening up’ for them all.
Very true Sarah. Is it possible that we all (men and women) are not prepared to live next to the full tenderness that a man is? Because, as a man who has plugged into a fraction of that tenderness, I can say that it’s a pretty powerful thing – that melts the very hardest of us. So yes, we need to support men – but the best way to do that is to be fully open and willing, ourselves, to be met by the ginormous deep wells of tenderness that reside in every man.
Well said Otto. When we open to receive it can be given.
Great summary Fiona, rising the awareness is so important, just letting people know that there are supportive therapies like connective tissue available to them is a great start.
And women too are often asked to ‘toughen up’ in a similar way – perhaps not through being told not to cry, but to be able to push through in order to be a super mum/partner/employee etc and to physically take on things equal to men etc. In all of this – whenever we lose touch with our naturally gentle and tender selves, be that male or female, young or old – we end up hardening up in our bodies in some way or another.
Yes Fiona, this pressure on men goes very much unrecognised and raising awareness is super important and actually very well received most of the time. Men are ready to raise their game if they see there is an alternative.
Simon thankyou for this incredible article. There is such a wealth of understanding for me to mine from all that you have written. Today what stands out is “…there is literally a tensing in the body and over time, the hurts that could easily be released by expressing how you feel and perhaps crying, instead become a held tension in muscles, connective tissue and even deeper in organs.” I had never really understood the connection between what is unexpressed and how hard or painful the body can feel. This is a significant understanding to come to today and feeling the interplay of how each part of ourselves affects the whole.
Thank you Melinda for reminding us all that it is not only how we express but what we don’t express that deeply affects us and obviously then those around us.
If men were able to feel comfortable with expressing from there true tenderness, I’m sure this would have a huge impact not only on domestic violence but all violence
This is so true Joe, in particular when we view a violent act to be any expression coming from a hardness in the body. It may sound a little extreme to view it this way, but not when that tenderness is honouring the deep sensitivity all men and women can live by.
Simon, I really appreciate how you have explained the physical and energetic pathology of hardness in the body and how Connective Tissue Therapy can heal this. This is such a gift for humanity and a very beautiful for men to feel the protection they are holding in their bodies and to be able to heal that.
Yes this is interesting about connective tissue, Anne, how it is a gateway to viewing the body as energy as well as physical. I was describing in a class the other day how our bodies are actually very fluid, 80% water or something like that, so the ripple effect through connective tissue is just that, a ripple or wave. Yet we are 100% energy, so it is interesting to go to that deeper level of sensitivity with our bodies. From this depth you can feel the whole body shift with a small movement, in particular when the intention and quality of the movement comes from the choice to express lovingly. This body awareness serves to understand love is an energy.
What an amazing awareness Connective Tissue Therapy can bring by helping us to feel that ‘Love is an energy’.
It is painful to read that men are living with a hardness in their bodies that is affecting their ability to have tender relationships. We are all together on this planet, we are all connected by a single field of energetic life, and if just one person is experiencing violence, then essentially we all are. It is possible to be numb to the facts of hardness in men for many reasons, however, energetically we are aware of far far more and at the end of the day cannot deny the facts of what is there to be seen.
The hardness is painfully obvious in some men, the way they walk, with rigidity and an attitude of don’t mess with me. But then there is a more subtle level also in both men and women. You can notice it in conversation, where people speak at each other rather than to each other. It is really interesting to note how people relate to each other in the gym and for me, quite exposing of the hardness most gym goers see as a good thing.
Beautifully said Simon. The hardness that is championed at the gym and thought to be a ‘good thing’, in a way is not different to the subtle forms of hardness. I just a few minutes ago experienced my body going into hardness when I was asking for a simple clarification from someone on the phone, when it seemed to me for a split second that they were complicating things. In fact as I registered my irritation which was a hardening, I gave myself the space to hear that this person was actually trying to be considerate of me! Oh relationships!!
Lyndy what I picked up from what you have just shared is how we feel something happen in our bodies when someone is in ‘trying mode’. Much to explore with this for me personally, having experienced through my body the ease and simplicity of expressing without trying and bringing this more consistently into life.
Thank you Simon for sharing the harm of hardness held in the body. It is ridiculous that hardness is championed in men, and it is easy to see the link between being hard as a man and then being hard in a relationship. Hardness in a relationship is devastating even if it doesn’t lead to violence. It is lovely that there is a modality that supports us feeling our tenderness.
Yes Lee, I am finding that any hardness, in myself or others is ‘so felt’ now. Yesterday when at an Expression Workshop it was so interesting to feel the levels of hardness dropping, in myself and also in the people I was delivering to. No judgment, just a registering and clocking, and so so clear to feel. ECCT is such an awesome modality to facilitate the change with this.
ECTT revealed to me how our left and right side of the body are actually meant to be working together, rather than fighting each other. Literally every body fights in their own way towards themselves. It is incredible how we have chosen to not be working within ourselves in union and harmony. Thank you God for this amazing modality. It can not but be sent from Heaven.
What I love about what you shared here is that our emotions and way we are choosing to live have an impact on how our body is physically. As you shared that not being expressive of our feelings leads to hardness in our body, this is huge and as well the link to domestic violence. It puts everything in a different perspective.
When you get to understand the connectivie tissue and the depth that it is possible you start to see where in your life that is not quite coming in at that equal, harmonious balance quality. The fact that I have lived my whole life in full protection until I meet Serge Benhayon is a great honesty that is very much needed. One that I was very far away from admitting and still to this day have to catch myself going into it. Serge is the first person that I started to truly trust and over time I have let down the barrior of protection and surrended to the harmonious Love that we are. When we let the connective tissue simply be at its original pulse then things feel completely different. So much ease and fluidness in the body.
I love to go walking after a connective tissue session to feel how free my limbs are. It really is exquisite. It shows how hard I do hold myself the rest of the time.
Hello Jinya, thankyou for your comment, very inspiring for me to explore Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. I suspect part of the hardness I feel in my body was to hold back all I felt and wanted to express. It’s a great awareness you share of just how much hardness we hold in our body and how great it feels, with support, to let that go and live with a free and unrestricted feeling instead.
A beautiful article Simon that shares with us your willingness to explore the sensitivity and gentleness you naturally hold as a man and the joy that comes from exploring and understanding your body in its harmonious flow and that of others. Thank you.
“The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be. Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.”
Thankyou for this great explanation of hardness in the body the stress to places on the body and how it can relate to domestic violence.
The feeling of how moving the body in a different way is a life changer but as you’ve stated Simon with the ‘and appreciate what a difference it makes’ appreciation of our choice to move differently, more gently with presence and focus being on the body and how it responds to life, makes further choices to move in that same way easier.
I had a great day working with some tradesmen today, very open and playful and at the end of the day went to shake their hands and noticed at that moment how their bodies seized up and the handshake was really abrupt, short and forceful. It appeared as if they did not want to really feel their tenderness and express it with another man, taking it deeper into that moment of touch and contact. A role took over and it was great to bring understanding that we men have an ingrained hardness related to roles and when an opportunity comes up to explore another way to relate to men, everything about that role owns us and takes over. When we stay very present with ourselves we have an opportunity to see this occur, be shocked at how habitual it is and begin to choose explore a more true way to be.
Having been conditioned into how a man has to be – in order to cope with the everydayness of life it has been amazing to be supported by the modality ECTT and all of the other esoteric healing modalities bought to us all by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Great sharing Simon and in reading this today It reminded me of seeing body builders with their rippling, shining bulging muscles on show with tight tee shirt trying to portray an image of ‘toughness’ ‘hardness’ or even trying to look ‘sexy’! Although this was not an image I liked to see/feel. It is like your looking at a hard tense shiny coat of armour a cover up job of hiding the true tender, gentle, sensitive man underneath. Their connective tissue must nearly be at full stretch breaking point. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing healing modality the awareness that this brings to the body, a stillness and a tenderness and a letting go of so much holding. Just after one session this can leave you feeling so re-connected and still.
Well described Marion, I used to see such armoured, shiny bodies as you so well depict all the time as personal trainer in Sydney in many of the most popular inner city gyms and although I never saw it as ‘sexy’ I was impressed with the air of confidence such people walked around in. Quite an image! Yet getting to know some of them, they were nothing like the image, really lovely people underneath, yet still very invested in and addicted to the image and never joy-full.
“Any one who receives ECTT gets to feel the hardness held in their body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that we can surrender to in treatments.”- so true Simon. I also feel this with the equally powerfull modality of esoteric yoga.
With the degree of sensitivity that you describe Simon where at any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting. It really opens up the question as to what exactly does our body perceive as abuse when a harsh word (with not one trace of physical attack) can send the body into such self defensive response? Then is it not surprising we are all living in a heightened state of alert in a world which so often hardly thinks twice before speaking or throwing eye daggers. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a wonderful, gentle, much needed counter to these subtle realities as well as the more gross hardening and tension in the body.
I find Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy such a simple and gentle technique to receive and give to another yet is is super powerful in how it facilitates changes in the body.
It is one of the techniques that brings a deep stillness to my body and regardless of all the turmoil that may have gone in prior, there is a clear stop moment and ability to re-connect back to me. The more I bring the principles of this into my everyday life the more I am able to handle whatever comes my way. With such powerful techniques it shows how out of control what we call a “normal” life has become.
I love your description of hardness here Simon. Recently I have discovered that hardness does not always come from protecting oneself from feeling hurt or not having to feel a particularly difficult situation, but it can also come as a tension in the body from excitement. Hardness is anything away from our stillness. Knowing this is a true testament to Esoteric Yoga modalities as well as Connective Tissue therapy.
The rates of reported domestic violence cases is on the rise. Affecting men, women, and children. Each one of these people who has experienced the violence in their home has to then go out and be in the world, many without support and guidance. This seems like a self perpetuating cycle that ensures violence remains in the homes of many who, given the chance, would choose otherwise.
Great point Shami. The reaction to the violence, impending or actual, physical or verbal – causes the body to act – to defend to tense to harden and protect. The body that walks into the world is literally telling all other bodies that this is how it is – how many of us walk in this bodily state and how many of us then continually reflect that this is the only way. It is not and the crime that is domestic or family violence – any violence in fact is not only the act perpetrated but the way it attempts to cement us in our hardness to deal with the world everyday.
Thank you for sharing the power of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy Simon. I have found it to be a gentle and truly profound healing modality that supports me physically as well as helping me connect to my innate tenderness as a man.
We’re so encouraged to be hard and tough especially are boys and men. We have pictures about how we want our boys to grow up and this puts an enormous amount of pressure on them to conform. The most beautiful gift that we can give our children is to love them as they are without wanting them to be ANY different and to develop and grow the relationship from there.
I agree Shevon, this is the most beautiful gift for children. And to support them also as we feel them begin to go into patterns of hardening, by working on our own.
“At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.” Knowing that a harsh word is an insult to the body and makes our connective tissues contract and affects our organs brings a whole new meaning to the words violence and abuse.
I love what you have said here Alison about violence and abuse – yes every harsh word actually hurts people and literally makes the connective tissue contract. What a travesty that we have come to live like that. Serge Benhayon has said that anything less than love is abuse. How utterly true.
Yes Lyndy and it has equally impressed me what Serge has stated about living in an ocean of energy and how we are feeling everything going on all the time, so it relates back to what degree of sensitivity we have to feeling hurt (perhaps not even a word need be spoken) and conversely to the feeling of love and how our bodies respond.
Yes it absolutely does Alison, and it is not just the spoken word but also any written word because everything comes with an energy behind it. When you actually stop and consider that it affects us to this deepest level in the body it helps me understand why most people are walking around with no true vitality and lots of different issues that are stopping them from functioning with ease, flow and harmony. If words have this kind of impact I wonder what thoughts that are not spoken do?
The wonder Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy does is to really bring the person back into a more gentle way of being, which in the same time can ease emotional and physical pain. it is an amazing modality which offers the world a broader view on how natural it is to be tender.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy gives us the opportunity to re-develop our sense of the tenderness that is in intrinsic part of us, and that we have covered up with hardness for so long. We get to feel how we have abused ourselves by our own ways of living, it is amazing.
How you have shown here the bigger picture and connections of hardness and the function of the connective Tissue System is incredible. This should be – and will be – studied in the medical educational systems worldwide. For everyone themselves first and for the understanding of how a body work can change the world radically, as the modality of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapie does already in the “worlds” of all the people who learn and receive it. To release hardness through first realizing it because this modality exposes it lovingly, with width and love is a true healing. I love it very much and am deeply appreciative to those who have brought and developed it into a teachable modality!
I agree Stefanie, I love receiving Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy treatments, and I have had some training learning the modality. It is amazing to be able to awaken the connection within people that we can all feel when we receive this treatment in a session, everyone is completely blown away by the gentleness of the modality.
Through reading your article, Simon I felt so strong, how this picture of being a tough man is imparted from one generation to the next. Every generation gives their deep hurt about deciding to get hard to the next, to justify what they have done to themselves. And in every generation hardness is acted out in the environment of the particular time and rewards it in different ways. But every generation decided to not feel and to not express, what they feel as subjacent principle that established the hardness. So the key to heal this and therefore all the following generations, is to feel and express, what we learn to do through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and the religion of the Way of the Livingness. What a blessing and what a joy to envision the future effect on the world.
Yes Stefanie, to feel and express is the key here to really start to change the tough hardness that the men are being brought up in and are choosing to be. There are so many conditioned ways that are enforced at such a young age to get on in life to survive, which all need to be thrown out and stopped. Really listening to how you feel and expressing is such a great starting point.
Yes Stefanie, as each generation tries to be harder than the previous one, violence becomes more accepted and more extreme. Connective tissue therapy can assist greatly anyone wanting to reverse this trend.
Yes Bernard, and I wonder, if it also magnifies and gets more extreme from one generation to the next, because the “body of humanity” carries all the unresolved stuff from all of these former generations too? Like also a topic of personal and group karma? So the former generation is us too. Like a body that has to bring out all the unresolved themes as an issue, if the person is not listening, stoping the behavior and healing?
Thank you Bernard and Stefanie, for having this conversation as it brings a deeper understanding about life and to me it feels to be true what you both say, that the hardening in our bodies is not only from this life but also from our previous ones, building and building in each reincarnation. We do this not only on a personal level but also as a family and in our society, building a hardness in our bodies, generation after generation. As I can now see that through this ingrained pattern of how to react on hardness with building more protection it somewhere has to come to a climax where the body has to free itself from the hardness that keeps it from expressing freely with being distorted by the hardness that numbs the body in both feeling and in expressing the love we are originally made of. And to me we see that in the abusive behaviour that has become in a way normal in our society and is actually portraying that we express in a distorted way completely opposite form how we naturally should be living and give expression to life. Let’s stop this and it is possible now as the support in that is available through the ECCT healing modality that will not only heal our personal hardness but will have its effect far beyond as we are all interconnected and related with each other.
So true Nico. Imagine if we were speaking to or writing to our dearest sister, brother, friend when we communicate – how delicate, how loving, how much fun. This is how our communications could be.
Stefanie there is much to ponder in what you present. By allowing this inter generational ‘hardening’ to continue it not only perpetuates the problem, but deepens it because what is not expressed is held in the body until actively released. This is profound in its implications.
Simon as you have shared the fact we harden is abusive in itself, to ourselves, our body and to those we meet and know let alone close partners and direct family. The fact is also that 99.99+% of us live with this Hardness which explains so many things including why domestic violence exists as without us hardening it would not be possible.
The toughness and hardness in men I witness all around me. Yet if I take a closer look I always see the tender, boyish and loving essence of men, ready to be connected to. As women we can support men just by introducing tenderness back to them as an innate quality they carry. Connecting to our own tenderness and delicateness is the best invite for men to explore this too.
It is time to establish a new definition of what is abuse. So we can see it, call it out for what it is, and start the process of banishing it from our homes.
Good point Shami, it is about knowing the definition within ourselves, claiming its truth, and living it in our own lives.
I think the whole world is having to look at this now… redefining what is abuse.
The world is at least looking at abuse and exposing what has been going on behind closed doors for a very long time.This is a great first move. Serge Benhayon was the first in my knowledge to redefine abuse to ‘Anything less than love is abuse’. How utterly true. It feels like it may be a little while before the Abuse campaigners get to this, but who knows, with the amount of Love there is now?
Yes this is true, until I met Serge Benhayon and attended presentations and started to become aware and care for myself what I used to and now see as abuse are different. Basically now anything that the body does not feel as tender or loving it registers as abuse. This is huge so I agree we do have to look at this, as this blog shows clearly the effect this way of living has on the body and why behaviours continue as they do.
I agree Dean and not before time. The main focus at present is the physical violence and hopefully it won’t be long until emotional and psychological abuse are recognised and acknowledged for what they are and then yes to go deeper again and have society become aware, as Serge Benhayon presents, that: “Anything less than love is abuse.”.
Great point Dean. The word abuse sounds extreme but as Lyndy has highlighted, abuse is anything less than love. This turns this notion of abuse upside down and is quite a wake up call to the quality of our relationships.
This is such an awesome explanation you give about hardness in the body, connective tissue and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. I was especially drawn to this part today:
“Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction. This means reacting way out of proportion when feeling threatened, even by someone who is not physically threatening you. Such ‘irrational’ behaviour goes hand in hand with hardness in the body, which can lead to people being abusive, or accepting abuse, as well as being a factor in many other lifestyle choices that do not make sense such as emotional eating, alcohol and drug abuse, and indeed any other choice that can harm our bodies.”
Thank you Simon for clearly articulating what is underlying domestic violence.
Yes Suzanne, these words are very powerful and explain so much about abuse and where it comes from in our lives – stemming from our hurts and our not wanting to feel. If we choose to not harden, but rather to feel everything, and bring our love to those situations, things would really start to open up and change, both in our own bodies, and in the world.
1 in 4 women in the UK have experienced some form of sexual violence, usually at the hands of a man. 98% of the world prison population is male. I am sure these statistics would change dramatically if Connective Tissue Therapy was available in every town.
Those statistics are full on, but at the same time I am not surprised. Yes the Esoteric Connective Tissue modality would be beneficial for everyone and it is desperately needed looking at what is going on in the world and the level of abuse that is being lived.
If I was visiting from another planet I would naturally be shocked with the statistics on this planet.
Just reading the first two words of this blog title DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, it made me stop and share some important information.
The following is in my Mental Health & Psychiatry course notes – Are you ready?
“Domestic Violence is chronically under reported” so you can imagine what the real Truth is with the following statistics.
Research estimates –
Domestic Violence accounts for 16% of all violent crime
Has more repeat victims than any other crime
On average there will be an average of 35 assaults before victims calls police
Costs in excess of £23bn a year – 23 BILLION POUNDS IN UK ALONE
Highest cause of morbidity worldwide in women aged 19-44.
This is greater than war, cancer or motor vehicle accidents.
Will affect 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men in their lifetime.
Serge Benhayon is presenting statistics like this and he is giving us the real facts so we can no longer pretend we don’t know what is going on. This is huge and serious stuff and this is one tiny area. Let us add the statistics of Breast Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Suicide, Heart Disease, Diabetes, Obesity, Self Harm and Mental Health in children and the list goes on and you got a world scale problem that is not going away.
Time to get real – it is time to listen to Serge Benhayon and take note that just because you or your family are not affected it is no longer ok to sit on the fence.
Time to take action and that means taking RESPONSIBILITY. Without this nothing is ever going to change.
Thank you Bina, What a strong reflection of the truth that humanity has lost the meaning of love, that such abuse takes place with so called ‘loved ones’ and is more prevalent than all these other health issues. This will not change until we address the lovelessness we continue to allow to run in our bodies.
Thanks very much Bina for your course notes on Domestic Violence. Kathleen and I are currently writing an article for UML on this and so your notes are most serendipitous. There is so much featuring in the news in Australia at the moment on this subject. Sarah Ferguson’s ‘Hitting Home’ is on every night on TV, and last night’s news reported the establishment of the ‘white ribbon’ movement where men are calling upon there men to heal domestic violence. They are having meetings, and rallies and events. For the very first time it is hitting the front page news, which is a good start.
Thank you Bina, I found these figures eye opening and to read how the “Highest cause of morbidity worldwide in women aged 19-44. This is greater than war, cancer or motor vehicle accidents.” is shocking. These statistics need to be known about.
Those are staggering figures that Bina shares, yet I would imagine if you were to ask the man or woman in the street what they see as a social concern for our society, that domestic violence would not rate that highly on the scale. Perhaps that shows our unwillingness to accept and duly tackle the problem before us. A problem that is ingrained in the behaviours we accept and actively encourage from men when we ask them to be tough, to “man up”and just “deal with it”, phrases that are far more damaging than we give credence to.
The fact is statistics like these are often spouted, heard for a moment and then forgotten. The greatest call here as you have stated Bina is to take Responsibility – that is how the statistics will change over time.
Just as every choice we make somehow affects our own body, every choice we make also affects the greater body of society. By taking responsibility to live in a loving way and address hardness in our own lives, so too do we make a contribution in the right direction for all of humanity. The world’s problems are just that, they involve everybody. We each need to take responsibility to live with love, this is the only way we will eradicate abuse in all its forms.
Wow beautifully said Melinda, addressing hardness in our own lives – even considering this for most people would bring about a momentous stop.
Bina this is shocking. The issue has come to the fore in Australia and at last is being talked about in a realistic way. The support that ECTT can bring needs to be brought to public attention. It would be great as part of the recovery and prevention programs too.
Connective Tissue Therapy is a truly amazing healing practice and I have been fortunate to experience it many times with Kate Greenaway. I am impressed with your sharing Simon of the fact that it also helps with healing Domestic Violence in softening the hardness that has built up, through years of men not being allowed to feel their softness and gentleness or express it , because it was not considered ” manly”! No wonder their is so much confusion in the world. Aggression, it seems to me is brought on through the bodies confusion and until we clear this from our bodies through healing such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy this will continue. It is blogs like yours Simon that will help address this issue. Thank you Simon.
This is so important for us all to read Simon, and understand we all need to take responsibility for all our decisions and actions regarding the way we bring up boys in particular and girls. Little boys need to be allowed to feel, and express how they feel. I have seen so often in families the Father in most cases, but sometimes the Mother not allowing little boys to cry or be soft, but making them feel ashamed for crying or feeling sad or hurt. This is not the Father or Mothers fault but that of society, for we perpetuate what we have been indoctrinated to believe. Change comes through awareness and this is our responsibility as Humans to see that this gets out there through our example and sharing.
Imagine this being introduced to the men in the Forces Sally. I smile when I think of how a Sergeant Major would be on Parade if he was unable to bark at the troops! Then I thought of the way the Marines are trained to be so tough – gosh, there is so much for mankind to learn about gentle-men and the strength in tenderness.
If this was introduced into the military I don’t think we would have military forces anymore 😀 If it were taken to the world, we wouldn’t have the need for military forces anymore.
Another great tool brought by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that can help to dissolve the hardness and protection we hold ourselves in is the Gentle Breath Meditation. It is great what the man shared in the tv programme about discussing breaking down the image of ‘tough’ men. I am finding more and more that men are in fact the complete opposite and very sweet, gentle and sensitive naturally so which is inspiring for women as it gives them permission to be that too.
I am finding this too Vicky. This is a testament to the work of Serge Benhayon and the student body of Universal Medicine. To spend time in the company of men within the student body is amazing, to feel true tenderness from men, and that natural sensitivity that is there in all being lived. Very beautiful.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing way of supporting our bodies to let go of the hardness and way of being we carry in response to life the way we are brought up to live it. It is changing peoples lives and allowing a feeling of the gentleness and flow we naturally are to be felt again and offers a true way of being that we can connect to and change our lives from and really does make a difference to how we live.The bringing together and relating to domestic violence is such an amazing revelation and way forward in the working with and understanding of what is really going on.
We can each perpetuate the ‘rough and tough’ image of a man in our society – as women or men. As men there is the bravado shared between friends or family members, that is championed instead of the natural tenderness they can be. As women there is the expectation of men to be rough and tough, and in the ‘protector’ role. This equally pigeon holes men away from their natural tenderness. We all need to look at how we are approaching the men in our lives, and whether we are truly honouring their tenderness in our expectations, as well as how we touch and hold them.
So true Amelia. I heard a lovely story today from someone serving me in a shop. She told me how her 16 year old son had sat her and his step-father down on the sofa last night and said to the stepfather that when he tries to make him rough and tough and ‘be like a man’ it just doesn’t work for him.It doesn’t make sense to him, and nothing is gained. The stepfather was surprised and said ‘Wow I didn’t realise you felt that way about it, I thought I was helping and being a good father to you’! The three of them talked honestly with each other for about two hours and the sales assistant said it was a fantastic talk together. The son wants to be a psychologist – sounds like he will be great!
Thanks for sharing Lyndy. I love the wisdom that comes from young people when they let themselves express what they truly feel. Age certainly means nothing when it comes to knowing what is true and what is not.
Lyndy that is a heart-warming story, I wish it was front page news!
So true Amelia, how are we holding the men in our lives? Are we supporting their tenderness or are we still held in the belief that they need to be tough and then get surprised when this toughness results in abusive behaviour.
Well said Amelia, both men and women perpetuate the images our society carries. We would all do well to stop copying other’s behaviours and lose the beliefs and ideals we all carry that make us think a certain way, not necessarily in a true way.
Agreed Amelia, as women we need to be aware of how we approach men and what we expect of them. It is only through women allowing men to be who they naturally are, without imposing needs and expectations, will both men and women be free to return to their natural states free from hardening and abuse.
Beautiful offering, as we all play a part in what we see play out in our society, no matter how small or big that part may be, its equally important.
Simon, this is absolutely true, ‘Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies.’ I experience this all the time when I take my son to school, he is 5 years old, if I see a little boy fall over I see the parent saying come on get up, if the boy is crying the parent often says ‘your strong’, ‘your ok’, ‘your brave’, when they are obviously upset and have hurt themselves, there is an encouragement for the boys to be hard and to not feel hurt. I see a lot of rough, boisterous play in the school and the parents often say ‘boys will be boys’, it is almost expected that they will behave in a hard way. If the boys do not and are instead sensitive and gentle they are seen as the odd ones out and ‘over sensitive’ and can be called various other names.
I agree, Rebecca, the picture how a boy / man should be is deeply ingrained and the sons are brought up in this picture. This is so harming to the child and everybody else, as the young boy is not encouraged to be who he naturally would express as a tender and playful child.
Rebecca this is so important to share, the life experience of young boys and how they are still treated and conditioned to toughen up. It is horrible to see a young body with armour already in his body and how abusive the behaviour can be at such a young age.
It is so unnatural to see young boys like that yet it is so common and ‘normal’. We have some work ahead of us yet…
I agree Dean, wonder- full work, where for example, I simply meet the young children who play in our street together most afternoons as I go for my walk. Rarely conversation, but they get to feel me and my smile. They love just being graced and not being asked to be anything. For a moment, that feel the ‘stop’ in their play, which is often a little rough or competitive.
Simon you have brought tears to my eyes as you describe you walking through your neighbourhood and how this brings a momentary stop to the roughish play of the young kids. I can feel the gentleness and strength/power of you walking this – a man whose love and goodwill they can experienced walking by. This is it!
This is sad rebeccawingrave but unfortunately all to common. This extends beyond school and into working life for men and women. The saying harden up is often used to stop us from allowing ourselves to feel the hurts.
The consideration of the causes of domestic violence seems to get little attention. Why we are seeing more and more cases of abuse should be high on our radar, is it the intensity and pressures that are being felt in everyday life. And as Simon highlights is the image of men portrayed much more harming than we have been willing to accept. I have come to understand and accept that living my life is far more about being tender and loving than it is about being capable of acting tough and portraying a false image of masculinity. Look at a small child and consider which type of male role model they would rather have, the current hardened man or the naturally gentle souls we really are underneath the life blocking armour.
Interesting point, Lee. Introducing Connective Tissue Therapy to the military would presumably expose the attitude of separation that is at the basis of the assumption to need protection. This seems to be the same in “the system of one person” as in the system of a society, as in the system of humanity.
At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting. The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be.(Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense) This sentence in brackets is it meaning the connective tissue doesn’t release and what is meant by when not actively being used, it stays tense?
It makes sense that if we have hardness and tension in our bodies then our behaviour and expression is going to match that. How could it not, when it is our bodies that we express through.
And then to take that further, if we have hardness and tension in our bodies, we are not going to notice the behaviors that come from this, because it is so familiar. On one hand this hardness blinds us and on the other hand our body is constantly reminding us that it is not right. From experience the body is always speaking the loudest. It is up to us which we give most attention to.
Beautifully said Rebecca, dependent on the quality of our body will determine the quality of our expression. And hence why we carry a great responsibility to take care of our bodies for the quality of expression that comes out of them impacts on another – this is a great responsibility but one well worth embracing as the state of the world depends on it.
Simon, I really appreciated how you laid out a simple equation for living with more tenderness and how the opposite (being tough, reacting emotionally, and burying our feelings) can lead step by step to deeper and deeper dysfunction in the body. I am beginning to notice just how subtle these effects can be on my body, such as when I recently felt some hardness and soreness on the ball of my foot and I simply focused on walking more gently, staying mentally on the task at hand while at work, and not holding back how I felt about things. In only a few days the pain went away completely, and I also noticed that the times it came back were when I was beginning to worry about things and being hard on myself. Pretty simple equation indeed!
What is being talked about here makes so much sense. I think we’d have to be very closed down not to understand that our emotions and the way we move our bodies leads to conditions within it. This simple example you have shared here Simon is a great illustration of how we can listen to our bodies and make some different choices.
Thank you Michael, your comment highlights the immense responsibility we have to become aware of the effects we have on ourselves by the things we think, do and say everyday. By choosing to have a few minutes at the start of everyday to sit in stillness, I have noticed how I can tense up particular areas of my body in response to what is happening in my life. It is such a huge gift, because it enables me to let go of the tension and allow my body to surrender and open like a flower, so that I can both express all my tenderness and love in the day and receive it from others. We cause so much hurt to ourselves and other people by going into anxiety and battening ourselves down in reaction. Choosing to open up enables our bodies to run smoothly and makes for much more joyful and playful company.
Beautiful observation you have made Michael. I recently have had some pain in my feet so this is supportive for me to feel into what my feet might be showing me.
I just love the fact that you are talking about sensitivity, gentleness and tenderness in relationship to domestic violence. It brings a whole new perspective. The more we connect to our tenderness the less likely we are to abuse or tolerate abuse.
Yes Elizabeth. I completely agree and recognize this for myself and others around me. If we are driven, busy doing other things, having plans in advance, then we’re not present and if something ‘unexpected’ happens, a violent reaction is almost predictable. So this is actually stating that the way we are with ourselves is the key factor towards abusive behaviour. Not the way others are WITH us. And exactly this is what Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy supports. Connection with ourselves. We are completely responsible for ourselves. And this God given modality is supporting us greatly with that. Indeed a complete different perspective on (domestic) violence.
That is exactly what I have found with myself. I didn’t even realise the level of abuse that I was living in and some may think it still is not but once you introduce being gentle, tender and loving with yourself your tolerance of abuse is heightened. The deeper I go with this relationship with myself the more I appreciate that I deserve to be loving with myself and others.
Natalie yes, being hard is an abusive way to live. I know for myself when I am hard I have tolerated/ inflicted all sorts of abusive behaviour even just from my voice. When I was younger it was like I was driving around in a tank and would fire at anyone I perceived insulted me.
I felt trapped in my own body of hardness. There are still times when I can feel really lovely but also feel the hardness in my body constraining my expressing tenderness. ECTT is an amazing modality to re-introduce the beautiful flow we can have with ourselves and others that is nothing less than tender and loving.
This is so true Natalie. The more gentle I am with myself the more I notice everything that is not gentle, and it feels abrasive in comparison. The word abuse is usually associated with outrageous forms of violence, but I can feel now that it can be used to describe anything that is not gentle and loving, as this is how it feels to me.
I agree Natalie. As I further develop my self love, what I previously thought to be loving now feels like abuse. The markers I have for what is and is not loving are constantly being refined.
This is a great observation Natalie, and one that I have also come to realise myself. We can get so used to being hard in our bodies that it is not until something different is introduced, like being gentle and tender with ourselves, that we can begin to feel how awful this is in our bodies. The more we become aware of it, the more we can let go of the hardness. And the connective tissue modality is a wonderfully supportive way to introduce this new way of being.
Elizabeth I totally agree, as we connect to our tenderness, we start to feel our level of preciousness and there is no space for any form of abuse.
Being gentle and tender and sensitive is very discouraged in the world that we live in today and is viewed as woosy and weak, but actually when we respect our feelings there is an inner-strength and confidence that is developed that can never be taken away from you as you feel it within yourself. This is much more powerful than outer physical strength.
Absolutely Elizabeth. If we are connected to our own exquisite tenderness and treat ourselves with gentleness there is no way we can accept abuse from another nor can we perpetrate abuse.
Yes Elizabeth, it is the perspective we need to bring to the conversation as it addresses the abused and the abuser.
Yes this is a much needed conversation that needs to be addressed sooner than later.
Agreed Elizabeth, often we deal with another’s abuse with abuse, instead of saying no to the abuse yet trying to understand why another is acting the way they are. Without this understanding we too just harden up and go into abuse to protect ourselves. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I now understand how not to react to anothers abuse and I am far more capable of understanding what is going on so that I don’t take it on and harden my own connective tissue. A win win for all.
“The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be. Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.”
This makes so much sense and must be a huge contributor to exhaustion and a very short fuse when the muscles are not released this alone could be contributing factors leading to domestic violence.
Yes Sally, the opposite to hardness is not weakness or softness, it is gentleness and there is great strength in being this way.
Your words gave me another picture Simon of how within us, and all around there’s a flow like a river. The hardness is like the river being frozen inside of you. Thankfully we have been given Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy which thaws the frosting like the sun.
Absolutely Joseph, the big freeze is thawed by the Sun of God through this magnificent healing modality.
I second that Lyndy, it is a most magnificent healing modality with untold benefits. In time it will be widely understood for the enormous healing gift that it is.
Yes Lyndy, and the Son of God is revealed!
This is great how you share this, everything within us is a flow like the river and where there is hardness, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has been able to thaw it away, to allow the flow of the river to continue within us with ease.
This is a beautiful analogy Joseph. When we are not frozen and hard there can be a beautiful flow to life.
Gorgeous Joseph, I can feel how we can also do this ‘unfreezing’ ourselves through Esoteric Yoga, and even through our very own breath.
What a beautiful and very powerful analogy Joseph. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, plus other modalities and tools, are such a blessing in thawing the frost; how awesome.
I love how you have described this Joseph and it is exactly how it goes. Over time after having ECTT and Sacred Esoteric Healing I have been able to connect much deeper to the flow of harmony in the body so now when I go back to old ways and harden, I instantly feel the frozen-ness, because it feels that cool in the body after having such an amazing warmth from and open flow.
Great analogy Joseph, makes it very tangible to feel the impact of hardening our bodies has on our connective tissue.
“The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be. Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.” Such a great explanation of hardness Simon, thankyou. It is also exhausting to live like that. For women too, who believe that to ‘succeed’ we have to out-do men. The pay-off is awful.
I agree Sue, a great explanation of how hardness affects all of the body. I know it affected mine ‘just get on with it’ or ‘I can manage’ were my mantras. And yes Sue, the pay off was awful.
Yes sueq2012. This affects both men and women, and it feels awful for both. What reflection is offered when we are hard? There is no space for love.
That is put perfectly, Lee. It is a great demonstration of what is being communicated when we go into the contraction of our fascia by trying to be something other than what we know ourselves to truly be. We may have an idea that we are showing strength, but the truth is that we are putting up a sign that says “I don’t want love here”. But the fact is that we are love through and through, no matter how big a sign we put up.
Yes sueq2012. I have been having a series of sessions just on my arms and it has been a revelation to me how much hardness I’ve been holding in my arms. I did not realise this before I began, but the first treatment the hardness that was exposed was undeniable. It revealed to me the level of protection and readiness to defend (react) that I was living with – this has now changed considerably.
Hartanne60 that is incredible because by supporting the body to change with ECTT you gained awareness of what caused the hardness in the arms, and by releasing the hardness you have the opportunity to now live without that behaviour. Amazing.
In nursing we did learn about the role of adult connective tissue as being found in skin, mucous membranes, blood vessels, nerves and body organs for strength, elasticity and support. But the connection to hardness as a means to not feel the true essence of who we are, and ability to come from truth, tenderness, love and joy is yet to be validated by conventional medicine. Despite this, since having experienced the power of esoteric connective tissue therapy I am letting go of my hardness and feeling the divinely beautiful qualities of a true woman.
Your words present a picture Simon, of our body being trapped in a vice, squeezed super tight. When we as Men deny and suppress everything we feel there is no room for the true us to breathe, leading to a place where we bring this harshness to others. Connective Tissue is an astounding modality and so powerful because as you say, you start to realise each and every thing you do can be a connective tissue exercise too. God bless Kate Greenaway.
I’ll second that appreciation of Kate Greenaway. What she, Connective Tissue and Universal Medicine is doing for humanity is ginormous. One session can literally heal lifetimes and lifetimes of us holding ourselves less.
I do appreciate Simon’s approach to addressing the issue of domestic violence – isn’t it amazing that he calls it out but then does not directly discuss it, but rather, goes to the deep bodily-held pain and thus a major reason for it? It seems to me that this could well be key to ending this awful behaviour in our world.
Simon with the levels of Domestic violence rising on a daily basis it shows the absolute importance of bringing a tenderness, gentleness and depth of love and connection to ourselves. Otherwise we walk around in a body that is more than capable of abusing not only itself but all those others in our close and distant relationships.
Simon, what you have shared here is important. Domestic violence and mental disorder are increasing because of exhaution which is creating hardness in the body. More and more people are overwhelmed by what they have to bring during the day and give up or check out with often violent computergames or videos. However our connective tissue is so sensitive that it registers every move and thought. Connective tissue therapy is deeply healing and bringing flow and harmony back to the connective tissue and in consequence to the whole body.
The science of connective tissue therapy demonstrates the way in which everything is connected and that every choice affects everything and everyone. Connective tissue shows us that by choosing to be tender, gentle and present with the smallest of movements in our body will radiate this quality throughout our whole body. This is the same with all of our choices including out thoughts, what we say, our actions and even what we choose to hold back.
Thank you Simon, after reading this blog I have gained a deeper understanding of how hardness builds in our bodies as a result of the choices of living in a certain way and also how ECCT assists us to reconnect to our natural way of being. Love it!
It’s true the movements in Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy are very gentle but powerful at the same time. I’ve found it to be a really supportive technique personally, having a deep effect on my body and clarity of mind.
This is such a powerful blog to return to as the power of the Esoteric Connective Tissue healing modality shines right through it. The body loves to return to its gentle natural state of tenderness and since having some Esoteric Connective Tissue sessions, I notice it shows me when I tense through my forearms, especially when I push with my right arm. The more I notice it, the more my awareness increases.
An awesome reread Simon and I could feel throughout your understanding and appreciation for the body’s structure and physiology. The body is totally deserving of tenderness and gentle presence. Why would we not care for this vehicle that offers us all the knowing we will ever need? Thank you again.
Absolutely Bernadette, ‘The body is totally deserving of tenderness and gentle presence’, my body feels amazing when I’m tender, when I walk with presence and do not harden up, but stay tender and touch things and move in my naturally gentle way. If I go into any pushing, stress or hardness my body feels tense and achy.
Gill it sure is incredible that a technique can support so much for the body to simply be who it is. The stark contrast of being completely hard and in survival mode to feeling all jelly like, and relaxed. This is an awesome reflection to realise that, there is choices that I make, that creates a body that is not totally floppy and relaxed. To start to make choices that support me to be open, loving towards myself and others and it is a way of living that actually feels worth while. Serge Benhayon is one incredible and very extraordinary man in the most ordinary way.
“Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.”- I too have been experiencing this since having esoteric connective tissue healing sessions. I have been able to let go of my hardness around the chest area – a form of false protection, which was keeping me from letting my love out, and keeping others away.
This is a great thread of comments you have instigated here Doug, as the range of replies greatly deepens our understanding that this article has initiated. Like others I had come across Connective Tissue previously, through my study of anatomy and physiology and as a complementary health practitioner. Although the latter saw there was more than the narrow micro-biological perspective, it could not see the whole picture as it was still coming from within that paradigm or proposing an alternative to the micro-biological rather than truly incorporating it. What Universal Medicine, and this case the Esoteric Connective Therapy (ECTT), does is not propose an alternative, but integrates the micro and the macro together as one, and when one is treating with ECTT (all other Sacred Esoteric Healing Modalities) this is honoured.
So important Jonathan what you state, how Universal Medicine does not offer an alternative, but brings medicine back to a whole approach towards living. Perhaps the reason western medicine reduced from this original understanding as described by Plato, was to cater for our dysfunctional way of living and this became the critical need. For example, western medicine has become superb at dealing with acute trauma, nothing else beats it. But it is no secret that western medicine is not coping in many other areas of illness and disease, in particular lifestyle related illness and has not kept in touch with the science that can support the majority seeking to understand true health. The science that understands connective tissue is a wonder to behold and so beautifully and practically presented by Universal Medicine and the healing modalities that Serge Benhayon has founded.
Yes it is an illusion thinking we are protecting ourselves, and affects us, and those around us in a detrimental way. I am choosing to let all my layers of protection go and live the true gentle and tender woman I am, this feels so much more gorgeous.
I love Esoteric Connective tissue therapy. I always feel great after having it. It is so gentle yet so profoundly effective. It is the perfect therapy to assist us to feel the hardness and protection that you are referring to in this blog Simon.
So well said Elizabeth. The effectiveness from something so tender and gentle is remarkable.
Thank you Simon for presenting how the bracing of the body and the tensing up leads to the organs being impacted which then leads to living in a reactive way. Everybody needs to understand this process and to really appreciate just how connected everything is in the body.
When I receive a ECTT even my thoughts change- my whole body gets support to its natural flow. It is like the holding onto things that keep me away of being the full me gets released by bringing it back into its natural way of flowing/ vibrating. This modality is magical indeed.
Good point Steffi. It is not just the physical body that benefits from Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy sessions, the mental and emotional do too.
I love that you have brought Connective Tissue to the forefront Simon. Most people have never heard of it yet it is all throughout our body as you say and plays such a pivotal role in our health and wellbeing. For me personally Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy supports me to reconnect and remember how tender I truly am and honour my body in this.
Thank you Simon for a really great blog, it is difficult to feel the sensitivity in the body when it has been hardened by years of abuse, I have enjoyed many sessions of CCT releasing this tension and hardness over time, leaving me with a deep feeling of connectiveness throughout my whole body.
Jill it seemed at first in ECTT sessions that although the physical hardness was quite ingrained, I connected almost straight away with a deep tenderness and feeling of flow in my body which I was able to recognise as a quality that felt more true to who I was. It allowed me to feel the hardness and for once say “that’s not me”. I had a reference point for another quality. Being hardened by years of abuse as you have stated, means we don’t get the reference point of feeling another quality in our bodies. This is why ECTT is so important, then we can begin explore how to bring that quality more out into our daily lives.
That’s the gold Simon. The fact that ECTT allows an opportunity to separate from the hardness. To see that it actually isn’t us. That it is an imposition, something that truly doesn’t belong. Whilst I now know this, I find that ECCT builds that trust. Each time I get to feel it more deeply and each time I am able to claim more solidly and accept more completely the fact that the hardness is not me. Of course, this then has to be lived and embodied – and that is my responsibility after the session. But ECCT can be the door opener.
Just had a quick, glorious vision of all these doors opening and everyone crying out ‘YES’. No more division and separations, in our relationships, in our cells, in our world and universe.
Absolutely Lyndy. And then it is our choice as to whether we walk through the door.
It’s true Jill that we very often cannot feel what is happening in our bodies when we have lost our sensitivity due to many years of abuse that has led to hardness in the tissues. ECTT invites the dropping of this hardness and invites the awareness and sensitivity back.
So truly and beautifully expressed from your own body’s experience Gill. I had no idea until I had Connective Tissue Therapy how utterly divine and beautiful and gorgeous my body could feel. I knew that I could feel that way, but not fully in my body. It is simple and totally miraculous modality.
So true, Gill. We are missing out the loveliness we are – many people hiding this essence all life long. It is so beautiful to get out of this prison of hardness. If we allow ourselves to be seen, fragile and not perfect at all, but truly ourselves, in our richness of our heart. Yum!
This feels already amazing only reading it; letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships. This blog has so much to share, thanks Simon.
I agree monika2808, simply reading this blog has provided the opportunity for a letting go of hardness and I also really appreciate Simon’s explanation of connective tissue, ” … it wraps around muscles, joints and bones, all of our blood vessels, nerves and organs, plus throughout our central nervous system, the spine and brain, … ” – I had not ‘clicked’ on the extent and expanse of connective tissue in our bodies … thank you for the increased awareness of this, Simon.
This is a great question Doug. It is amazing how conventional medicine has not taken this part of the human body into consideration, when it has such a vital role to play throughout the whole body.
Could it be that conventional medicine and medical science is placing so much focus on finding cures, it is not really seeing the bigger picture of how the body can self heal. It is in this picture that connective tissue is super important.
I am currently doing my first massage course with Universal Medicine and really enjoying learning about the role of connective tissue and how it communicates to our muscles and therefore influences how we are in our bodies. But that the connective tissue is also connected to our cells and our particles and each part is doing its job to communicate how we are in our bodies. So starting with the muscles and connective tissue can start to shift patterns and behaviours in our bodies that are not truly us – and allow us to be more sensitive, open and aware of everything around us.
Hi Simon, this is a brilliant blog that drives home the importance of :–
a) knowing what hardness is and just how it affects us and our relationships
b) the responsibility we have to address this hardness and return to the sensitivity required to truly connect to our self and others without harming anyone and
c) the amazing modalities such as the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy we now have, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, that offer us an opportunity to feel this for our self in our body and make different choices.
Awesome Kathleen – awareness, responsibility and choosing to support ourselves to make different choices is a great summary you have offered and definitely is what I have experienced as a student of Universal Medicine.
Esoteric Connective Tissue is remarkable as a modality, the subtleness of it allows for the subtleness of life to be experienced and felt. And when we get to feel this subtleness in the body – which is delicateness and sensitivity, we start to live life as this or at least begin to appreciate these qualities that work to serve us. We learn to drop the armour, and also ‘the attitude’ (from ideals and beliefs) too.
Great points Zofia, there is a process of learning when we connect to the subtleness and sensitivity of our bodies that our connective tissue reflects. And this shapes our behaviour and our beliefs and over time as our choices changes, even our deeper core values can be affected. For example I might have believed love was something ‘out there’ to chase and this affected much of my behaviour. Through getting to know my own body more intimately, it is clear that love is a quality of energy the body can work with and this is life changing.
“The very interesting relationship between the hardness held in our bodies and our behaviour…” – Simon this line holds so much truth in it – I know that when I’m hard, or harsh on myself/critical that my body tightens, and I develop a grip on life, in which i then grip others which leads to disharmonious exchange, or independent aloofness that keeps people away. This was how I worked throughout my 20’s and now over the recent few years with the focus on my body and dropping the harshness i had about myself and life, it has allowed for suppleness in thought, attitude and physical body inviting people in to be with me. Today I use my body as a gauge to how I’m living and my attitude in it. Harsh or accepting suppleness.
Simon great to read and get a clearer understanding of the importance of what the Connective Tissue’s role is in the body. It really does have an amazing role supporting the body and connecting to it on so many levels. From the way we react or allow ourselves to be in our natural harmonious state will be the outcome in how he Connective Tissue will work is huge. I have felt after sessions with Connective Tissue the holding and hardness that I was in to then allow myself to feel like jelly and the ease of being simply the harmonious love that I am and it feels incredible.
“ECTT gets to feel the hardness held in their body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that we can surrender to in treatments”. Thus taking this tenderness and sensitivity out into the world.
Thank you Simon for presenting such a knowledgable and wise blog; there is much to ponder on.
Simon,
I love what you present here, and as a woman can also relate to the hardness I have developed in my body for seeking to ‘be strong’ and ‘keep it all together’. The pressure and stress this places on my body is huge and your comment “…the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long…” when we do this is so true.
Your blog is being a catalyst for me to be more honest about the hardness and ‘armour’ I carry in my body and to receive further ECTT treatments to support the release of this and connection to the tender woman that I am. thank you.
Gorgeous Gill!
Living in hardness makes us less discerning. Living in hardness forces us to coordinate the physiology of our body in a way that creates a totally unnatural regime. Everything that follows from this is unnatural. The beauty of choosing a more natural way to be and feel how different feels compared to when you harden is unbelievable. What is interesting is that both ways of being feel very familiar with us: the natural and the unnatural.
So true Eduardo, the natural feels familiar because that is who we are and the unnatural feels familiar because this is how we have been for so long.
True. The natural way, which is unfortunately not yet lived everyday, feels though much more expansive and warm and lovely 🙂 The mind has no chance to overtake the power.
Thank you Simon, it is clear in your writing that you have a passion for the Connective Tissue modality, but what is even clearer is the underlying feeling that comes through of your passion for people and healing. You have obviously connected to the deep state of unrest the world is in – domestic violence and the hardening of men from boys is just one small component of this, and what you share here about connective tissue therapy as being something that can support us all comes from your own love for people. Deeply felt, and a beautiful reflection for me today that this love for people is in us all, regardless of how much or how little we choose to live and express it.
“Any one who receives ECTT gets to feel the hardness held in their body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that we can surrender to in treatments”, I completely agree, it wasn’t until I I started to have ECTT, that I got to understand and feel the hardness I have been carrying in my body, especially my upper part around my chest, shoulders and arms. I created this hardness as a form of protection and control. Having these sessions have allowed me to feel my natural sensitivity and tenderness during the session and this has supported me in working on letting go of this hardness, which I have been carrying around for a long time.
I agree too Amita, I had no idea of the hardness that I constantly held the body in protection or anticipating some imagined assault and how fatiguing that is. It wasn’t until I had the ECTT and felt the difference, of how naturally light and buoyant and free my body could actually feel and move, that I realised the constant stress we impose on the body in the everyday, and how it can be completely different. A revelatory marker.
So true again Doug, The missing link which links us to the all and the everything, Imagine CT in hospitals and nursing homes. The profound difference this would make in those peoples lives would be astounding.
So very true, time and patience, for the modality itself is only just getting the data and acknowledgement that it deserves
Your relationship with ECCT really confirms for me how great this modality is. The way that Kate practises and the way that my body feels after receiving ECCT is very similar to your experience but I have not been able to share the profound effects that it has had on my body, as you so beautifully have done here. It is wonderful to read and be inspired to share just how incredibly powerful this modality truly is.
Thanks Natasha, I get the sense from your comment as with my own understanding that the extension of this modality is to feel that lovely ripple effect in every moment and in every movement. A work in progress, but having that foundation of ECTT has made it a lot more possible and so wonderful to revisit regularly.
Absolutely Simon, an ever expanding ripple effect that just keeps on expanding and growing in strength and tenderness
So True Natasha about strength as well and tenderness. I have to say my growing experience is that there is great physical strength in a body that is tender and supple instead of hard and rigid.
I love the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy as a modality – the sense of harmony and spaciousness in my body is fantastic whenever I have a session and serves as a great reminder of how the world asks us to toughen up. No wonder violence is a norm when our bodies are constantly hard and tense.
‘harmony and spaciousness’ those are great words Helen. For me following a Connective Tissue treatment I feel incredibly open, tender and extremely delicate. This is in stark contrast to how I feel the world around me and it usually doesn’t take too long for me to start hardening back up. I have recently started to feel that I do not need to do this, that I can remain open and tender and I don’t need to protect against any harshness around me, because underneath this harshness I am feeling, is the very same delicateness. Somebody’s got to start the ball rolling, so it makes sense to hold this feeling and share it with the world.
That hardening or bracing has been a knee-jerk reaction in me for so long, as though it’s a protection – the really ‘tough’ thing for me to accept is that the opposite of this is true. Thanks for paving the way.
Ah yes Helen, we are masters at contraction and hardening against life’s little presentations! And if we are masters at that we can be masters of the opposite – expansion. I so agree that Connective Tissue Therapy and this beautiful bog are really paving the way to support us for this to happen!
I agree Helen, it is so ingrained in us, the protection. We walk around in it and have done for most of our lives, since as small children, we first learned of the harshness of the world. One of the things I have come to feel as a result of this protection is that in it, I have been keeping people at a distance….not truly letting them in, and this is the case to an extent for all of my relationships. Feeling this more acutely recently has been difficult, as I know in my body it is unnatural to hold people at a distance, and yet it is all very new to open back up again and truly let others in. I say again, because as a young girl, I do remember a level of openness, love and understanding that was much more free then what I am living now….but this is all changing the more I commit to simply seeing it and saying ‘this is no longer how I want to live’.
Thank you Simon I wish everyone in the world could read this blog, it offers such great insight into the real issues of domestic violence and connects us back to our responsibility of deeply caring for our bodies. Hardness in its many differing forms adds protective layers to who we are not, whilst surrender on the other hand is peeling off those protective layers to get to the truth of who we are – Love.
Oh I had exactly that same thought about Simon’s blog Samantha. I wish everybody in the world would read this blog. The steps towards hardness and thence to violence are so simple when seen and not too difficult to remedy with the ‘medicine’ and tools we have been given to re-choose to be gentle and loving! In the meantime things are seemingly getting more and more complicated, leading to many deaths and huge misery.
Absolutely Lyndy and also Samantha too, from our body come our thoughts and so actions that then either cement or free up the body. The choice to love (the body) is the correct medicine for what is already love. Love feeds Love.
Whilst many will read this amazing blog…and it is amazing, the greatest expression and ‘publicity’ of the power of ECCT is for those of us who have chosen to have the treatment, then living what we get to experience, after the session. That is a responsibility that I have not fully accepted.
I agree Otto, being introduced to this modality is merely the first step, albeit a huge blessing. Living what it asks of us comes next, and the speed at which we do this is entirely our choice. I too haven’t fully accepted or embodied this, but I appreciate that I am on the way to.
Indeed. The expression “I’ll have whatever he is having” comes to mind – (albeit not normally used in this context!). But it’s true; we are far more open to inspiration and change if we have seen the proof with our own eyes, rather than if we are being asked to take someone’s word for it.
I totally agree samanthaengland, surrendering is like giving ourselves permission to let go of the constant protection and just be. It is an amazing feeling in the body as we get to feel our true nature of who we are. This is what ECTT allows us to do in such a simple way.
Simon, I enjoy how you bring this right back to the simplicity of the body and the physiology of the connective tissue. Once we start to feel the tension and hardness in the body it feels ‘just as if we were wearing armour all day long’. I guess this is why we become hard – as a kind of protection, yet we do not realize how much energy it takes to sustain this, nor how uncomfortable is really is – imagine wearing armour in bed at night! It’s a kind of perverse comfort because we feel ‘safe’ – but at what price?
The image of wearing armour in bed makes me laugh, but at the same time a bit sad because it’s true. We spend an enormous amount of energy keeping our bodies hard and protected, which is a huge drain on our interior energy resources. No wonder we are all suffering from exhaustion! It is not uncommon to feel completely conked out after an ECTT session because the body has been supported to dissolve the tension and once it does, boy do we feel the real price of maintaining our all-in-one body armour!
What price indeed? A truly restorative sleep and any experience of real intimacy come to mind straight away. A nervous system that remains on alert while we “sleep”, another.
Yes Doug, I hadn’the heard of connective tissue either. What I have learned and it continues to amaze me how the body responds to the love and gentleness that connective tissue work is. Thanks to Universal Medicine we have this very healing modality.
Oh I so thank Universal Medicine for bringing this modality though and not only this powerful modality but the powerful modality of massage, esoteric healing, and chakra-puncture. All powerful in there own unique way but all bringing true harmony and configuration back into the body.
This rough and tough image of what it is to be a man seems so engrained in how men are expected to be, and yet the irony is that most people do sincerely know how sensitive and gentle men actually are. So, there seems to be this mass acceptance of a belief that men are supposed to lie about their true nature – but for whose sake is this happening? Who genuinely benefits from this lie we are asking men to live every day?
Shami – what you say is so HUGE and is pin-point accurate. The fact is the we are not ignorant to the lie. I have spoken to so many men and women about this from all walks of life and YES, the general consensus is that Men are very sensitive, are super tender and are crying out to express and feel more. So, if most of us know that, then why, oh why is the lie maintained?
I agree, Otto. This is enormous. The very fact that there are so many cliched sayings about men needing to deny their sensitivity (e.g. ‘man up’, ‘grow some balls’, ‘be a real man’, etc., etc.) is proof that there is quite obviously somethings so integral to men that the vast majority are denying about themselves.
I like it Naren. So, if I’m reading you correctly, what you’re saying is that if it wasn’t our natural way of being, we wouldn’t need all this forcing, phrases and pushing that take us in a totally different direction. If we were meant to be hard and closed and tough, then nothing would ever need to be said, ‘cos it would just happen!! Is that what you’re saying?
Yes Otto. I’m answering even though I am not Naren, because I love the truth of what you have both said.
What is this ridiculous and self-perpetuating anomaly?
We all want our daughters to have a gentleman for a husband/lover and our sons to be one. And yet we develop and encourage protective measures just the same – so little trust in our true nature and worth.
Wise words Helen, and so little trust into our connection with God and the universe, which reflects to us all the time who we are, a big part of this divine grandness.
Hello Helen Simkins and I agree. We need to lead the way and not ‘wish’ or just hope that things will change or be different. The conversations need to go deeper and be more consistent about what is going on and how men are naturally. With more and more people standing and speaking about how things are then people will be supported to make the change. As ottobathurst is saying above, “I have spoken to so many men and women about this from all walks of life and YES, the general consensus is that Men are very sensitive, are super tender and are crying out to express and feel more.” If you don’t agree, that’s fine but look back to our children and how they are and then reflect to how you were. This is an absolute fact for me and now I’m off to live it in my day. Thank you Helen.
This is a great observation Helen, is that then too women would have to deeply honour and live in their tenderness and sensitivity too?
Connective Tissue Therapy has been for me, and still is, a wonderful treatment for so many of the body’s ailments. I feel that my body responds on so many levels when I have a treatment, I am improving in many areas of my life thanks to Kate Greenaway. I can believe that this modality would help in so many areas of life including mentally. Thank You Simon.
I love the connective tissue therapy and my body responds to it very quickly. It is also my choice to surrender – where else can we experience this deep level of surrender than with Universal Medicine Therapists, who are living in this connection themselves.
The ripple effect you speak of in the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is profound and very powerful. It is when you have had a session and feel such a release of tension through the connective tissue in the entire body that you realize just how much hardening and protection the body is being held in constantly during the day.. it creates false holding configurations that mould the body into unbalanced and unnatural postures, and you also realize just how exhausting it is on the body to maintain the constant bracing. It is a great marker that we can then become more aware of and learn to hold a new level of openness instead.
Spot on Annie, I too have experienced this in CTT sessions – you walk in thinking you are relaxed only to get on the table and find all these layers of tension that one is carrying. So by the time the session comes to an end, you feel like you have melted into the table and you have a new marker for what ‘relaxed’ is. And not only does this happen in the physical body – the beauty of the CTT is that it allows such an openness of heart too.
So beautifully said Henrietta,
I continuously get given new markers of what ‘relaxed’ is when getting sessions. The level of surrender that the body can go to is quite magnificent.
So true and well expressed Annie and Henrietta, those ECTT sessions are a very humbling experience.
Love how you have used the word ‘humbling’ Simon – indeed it is a humbling experience as we get to feel the layers of ‘pretense’ that we carry around without realising it and what we are so capable of when we surrender to the depth of the love within.
‘…how exhausting it is on the body to maintain the constant bracing.’ Annie, this word ‘bracing’ is very apt – what are we bracing against? Is there some perceived threat that we assume is going to attack us? While we have hurts we tend to expect that we will be hurt again so if we can let go of our hurts we can stay open and if something does come at us we will not react from our pain. In my experience ECTT and other Esoteric modalities are great to support us to let go of old hurts and then we gradually let go of the need to brace ourselves and can embrace life wholeheartedly.
That self-bracing is such a bane to our existence and yet we are the ones that prescribe to it – understandably so due to past hurts and the loss of trust and hence the automatic reaction is to brace oneself against life. But to be aware of it and then also to be free of it even if only momentarily is an amazing gift that shows us this is indeed possible, thanks to Connective Tissue Therapy! These modalities are nothing less than heaven sent for they do offer us back the choice we forgot we had – the choice to surrender to ourselves or to brace ourselves against the world. I know which one I want to work on!
I second, third, fourth you comment Annie C. ECCT is a game-changer in what it shows the body.
Sometimes I feel this protection in people; it feels like an armour and shields around the chest. Much energy is needed in the body to hold this hardness and to feed it. No wonder people are getting more and more exhausted, these days. Thanks to connective tissue therapy – sent from heaven – we have the opportunity to feel ourselves without hardness, until we choose to build it up again, but at least we had the moment of feeling light again, what we originally are.
When we allow ourselves to simply feel any hardness there in our bodies, it is such a powerful moment, because we know deep down it is not who we are and it is actually easy to re-imprint our activity and begin to feel the hardness let go. We know gentleness and tenderness as innately there in our being and the deeper connection to ourselves, others and the world that they offer us.
Beautifully said Simon and so true, we are not the hardness that we use to protect ourselves with. When we watch children at play there is a natural gentleness and tenderness there that needs to be valued and appreciated so that it continues to be expressed in adulthood.
Excellent point Elizabeth – I love looking at how kids move and play as their natural tenderness can be seen so easily. As adults we tend to take on board a rigidity and it’s almost like connective tissue therapy allows us to ‘un-learn’ the rigidity and return to how we moved as children – an imprint we all remember but one that may lie buried under much hardness and protection.
We can’t be that hardness because I can feel the effort that I need to use to create it or maintain it and thus I know it not to be natural.
Yes Otto, The effort is the ‘trying’ and the ‘achieving’ and the constant pushing. My body does this and I can feel the strain that it goes into. Is it very much not natural and the ECCT sessions really support my body to let go of all the built up tension and ‘hardness’ that I have chosen.
That is so true Doug, we so often think that having a hard, tough body is what it is all about, until we get sick or injure ourselves. ECTT has certainly taken apart that belief system for me, now I know that my true strength lies in allowing my body to surrender and become delicate and tender. I am still fit and strong, but definitely made of flesh and bone rather than stone and steel.
That’s so important to remember Doug, how much we have championed that hardness, if not aesthetically which was never my thing (body building and shaping), certainly in getting things done and in particular for me pushing myself to high achievement in competitive sports.
Doug, this is a consciousness many of us are owned by, and not just men. Women have become hard trying to be like men and while we continue to think it is getting us somewhere, it is very hard to see that it is not us, but is instead something that we have deliberately chosen to keep us solidified so we do not feel light and expansive. This bogs us down on earth and stops us feeling the spaciousness of heaven which is still in us beneath the hardness.
What is interesting to me in regards to ECTT is that the fact that giving a session is also receiving a session. And this is exactly how love works. Love is never for one, for one individual. It is always all encompassing. The more I allow myself to feel this, the more humble I become. Because it is such an honour that people allow me their bodies to work on. Working together in a session is like working together towards true brotherhood for all. I am always deeply grateful to give such sessions. The profoundness is hard to describe in words. It is simple, yet deeply profound and healing.
I agree Floris, giving a session of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is like receiving one at the same time, a very powerful and profound therapy.
I still find it so hard to believe that the importance and the health of our connective tissue and how we care for it is not a far widely known subject or science. For something that is so integral to how our body functions and not knowing about it until Universal Medicine brought it up, I thought it was just my ignorance, but it appears I’m not the only one who had not heard of it before.
I mentioned this in an earlier comment but am drawn to it again by your comment kevmchardy. I totally agree with you and absolutely felt the same way. BUT, I think we have to look at our role in all of this, our responsibility. I’m not a doctor and would never have the knowledge to discover something like Connective Tissue, however, I do feel that if I had lived my life with a far greater connection to my body and a far higher level of self care then I would have been aware of something like this – I would be much more open to the magic of the way my body is made (and let’s face is Connective Tissue is pretty magic!). So is the fact that none of us had heard of Connective Tissue the fault of the doctors and scientists….or is the responsibility ours? For I am sure that if were living it, it would be scientifically known.
Great point Otto, this wreaks of being true! Science is a reflection of the consciousness that we have allowed.
And knowledge-based science will only discover that which we are open to. Because in truth, our minds are impulsed by the life we are living.
Which brings us beautifully back around to our bodies, where we can choose the life we are living.
Simon – whilst that is just one short sentence that you have written, it is massive point. Especially in the precise way that you have termed it…”our bodies are where we can choose the life we are living”. This smashes TWO entrenched ideals that most of us hold. One – most of us are not even living aware of the fact that we even have a choice, that we are in fact in charge of our lives, rather than our lives being in charge of us – that we are responsible, every second of every day for everything in our lives. But the second thing you smash is, to me, even more potent. And that is the fact that that choice is in fact not a choice of the mind, not an intellectual choice, not an emotional or knowledge based choice….it is a choice made by our body, by our rhythm, by our commitment…by our movement. And that is massive. For all of us. It is definitely massive for me as I am only really beginning to truly understand this. The choice is made well, well before our mind thinks it is making the choice. By the movements of our body. Brilliant. Thank you.
It’s great that it is being recognised that the hard tough exterior that has become so normal for men is contributing to domestic violence.
All of this blog is ace. But there is one bit that I particularly loved and that was the description of how connective tissue is wrapped around all our organs, muscles, joints and bones. As I read it, I imagined a delicate and beautiful object being carefully wrapped up in a sort of cotton-wool/bubble-wrap combination. And as I think about it now, it makes me deeply appreciate the marvel that my body is and the absolute care that we should all be taking of this exquisite creation. Just thinking about it releases the hardness in my body.
That line was a stand out for me too ottobathurst. Described like that we can’t help but feel the absolute harmony and grace our movements can bring if we deeply honour and accept the divine design that our body is.
I have always found ECTT to be the simplest of techniques but extremely profound and can support changes within the body beyond anything that you could imagine. For example one’s posture and realignment of the spine, hips, knees. I say this because I always feel as though I am straighter and walk differently after a session.
That’s incredible Doug.
I 100% agree, I can feel it all through my body and can feel the greatest level of change in how I walk as well. Our bodies are the most precious of vehicles of expression and it is so alarming how we treat, and bash, and prod and push them to the extreme. ECTT has very much connected me back to the preciousness within and supported my body to come back into alignment.
Such a brilliant question Doug. How can something so vital have been over-looked. And it’s not just one little organ somewhere in our body, connective tissue is our whole body! Is it possible that the very thing that ECCT helps to heal, namely the hardness that we all carry around is exactly what has prevented us from even being aware of it. What I mean is that if our eyes are held tightly closed, then there is much that we won’t see.
This is a good question. Although I feel that we need to be careful not to absolve ourselves of our responsibility in this by questioning Western Medicine. What I mean is that, we create the society that we live in…taking this further, we create the level of knowledge that is known, we create the level of awareness that we have…so, is it possible that the doctors and scientists can only discover that which we want to know, can only discover that which ‘fits in’ to the society that we have created? Or, to put it another way, if we all lived in a more harmonious way with a deeper relationship to our bodies, then is it possible that the doctors would have discovered Connective Tissue a long time ago?
Absolutely we rely more on eyes to see rather than to connect with what we feel. There is so much that is over-looked, ignored or not understood. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present and teach is absolute Gold (more than gold!) and so desperately needed.
Totally Vicky! This is the basis of true education – to feel, feel and keep feeling, instead of becoming seduced by images and then becoming imprisoned by them. Much love!
Brillant point Otto and it makes so much sense to why we would continue a way of living that we can feel is suffocating us. My eyes were definitely opened up once meeting and attending Serge Benhayon’s teachings. The immediate response my body had when having the ECCT treatment was phenomenal. After returning to live my ingrained way that I had been living previously, the hardness that I went back into after a ECCT session stuck out like a sore thumb. Then I realised I had a choice.
This is a great point Otto, For me receiving ECCT helped me feel the hardness and the shield I was walking around with it allowed me for the first time to feel true tenderness in my body and how natural that is, since then I have been able to let go of the many layers of hardness something that I could have never seen before.
Yes Francisco. We need that reminder because so many of us are living so far from our natural state of being. But once you get that reminder…it’s a super strong incentive to commit to a very different way of being.
Great conversation to start Otto and so true,
‘And it’s not just one little organ somewhere in our body, connective tissue is our whole body! Is it possible that the very thing that ECCT helps to heal, namely the hardness that we all carry around is exactly what has prevented us from even being aware of it.
Ironic really when you consider it this way.
To enable the irresponsibility of not feeling our choices, we need to pull in something as extreme as the hardness that so many of us carry. And yes, the less we want to feel, the harder we need to get.
Very true, the hardness is all about numbing ourselves to the choices we are making, as deep down inside we know when something is a supportive choice and not.
I really appreciate the wisdom and science that you bring to this discussion. It’s fabulous and very supportive for all to have ‘hardness’ actually explained on a physiological level. Thank you Simon. Everything you say I can absolutely feel in my body. And that connection with the ‘hardness’ as a physical manifestation rather than an abstract concept is a massively helpful bridge to releasing it for me. Again, thank you.
I love and often have ECTT sessions – but up until reading this article I had not understood the full effects that living in hardness can have on our bodies and the support on offer from our connective tissues. The awareness of armour is astounding and makes sense, where by walking around braced and in hardness we loose that sensitivity and ability to know what we are feeling. Like a fingertip callus, it blocks the delicateness and finer details of what we are touching.
I agree Rachel the depth of awareness that Simon presents is very significant. I am truly deepening my understanding and appreciation for what is possible with CTT through this blog and comments. It’s a treatment I love to receive and offer as a practicing student and now feel how important it is to a wider group of people that I hadn’t previously considered – time to broaden my horizon.
So true Rachael, your comment reminds me of a person I met who had created such a strong amour to protect herself with that the joints in her shoulders were beginning to lock up and calcify. That is quite extreme, but a real example of how the body really does respond to all our emotional and mental issues and does its level best to protect us when we feel endangered.
I agree it is absolutely awesome to be reminded of how much hardness and bracing oneself can have such a detrimental effect on the body. ECTT melts this and you can not help but surrender to the tender gentle ways that we are designed to be. What I find is everything seems easier and there is no effort required. Super refreshing after being in the tension of being on guard.
It’s a good question Doug and I know the only reason I knew about Connective Tissue before meeting Universal Medicine is because of my human biology studies. What I am aware of with our current scientific focus is that we tend to focus on the micro-biological causes of illness and disease seeking answers in the minute structures within us such as DNA etc. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy approaches the body on a macro level, encompassing the whole and allowing the whole to redress the balance of its components as only it knows how to do. So far my experience of ECTT has proven beyond doubt that when my connective tissue is supported to regain its natural flow and pulse, the quality of my health and over-all wellbeing has improved a hundred fold and more.
Likewise, Rowena, I learned about connective tissue in science class, but first had a clue to its pervasiveness in our bodies when I studied massage 10 years ago. But even then, the extent to which my connective tissue’s health affects me was a revelation when I first experienced ECTT.
The focus of science on the micro seems to be an effort to find the ‘silver bullet’ that will cure whatever illness that is being focused on. I do not think that doctors and scientists are completely ignorant of the fact of the preventative effects of lifestyle changes, but I think that they know just how difficult it is to actually get people to change their lives, even when it is their well-being that is at risk. What ECTT and other Esoteric Modalities bring to us is a way to feel ourselves in a new way that we have not felt since we were children, and the opportunity to acknowledge just how precious we are when we feel ourselves without the weight of the world held in our bodies.
I can’t help but laugh at your comment Doug, as there is no comparison between the modality and pharmaceutical drugs, just like you share.
The drugs are there to help support and alleviate the absolute agony be that emotional, physical or physiological. But these modalities truly heal, truly change the structure of the body to bring more vitality and truly support on-going well being. Thanks for the chuckle as you are so right in your response.
Beautifully and authoritatively expressed Rowena. Thank you
Thank you Simon, what you’ve shared is remarkable. You have outlined and more importantly exemplify the changes needed by men if we are to begin addressing domestic violence, not to mention the state of men’s health. As a woman reading this however I can equally feel it apply to me, and to all women. Having worked also with ECCT for a few years I can attest to the amazing transformative nature of the therapy in providing a reminder for the way the body is naturally, without the usual hardness and protection most of us walk around in every single day.
Well said Jenny, and I too felt Simons words echo deep for me as well. For all people everywhere. Although I am a woman, and I can only imagine what it would be like growing up as a man, I went into drive and protection as well, as the world felt too much for me to handle. Being gently and gracefully supported back to my true state of health in my body with these modalities has been so life changing.
Yes exactly Natasha, there is great power in a woman making these changes too, and I see it contributing equally to the issue of domestic violence in the bigger picture, not just within any single situation.
I agree, it goes across the board and across all societies too.
Yes Natasha it has been the same for me too. I used to go into so much drive to get things done, and completely shut down how I was feeling in my body as a way of protecting myself, and ended up becoming so hard. It is only with the gentle and encouraging support of the Esoteric Healing modalities that I have been able to address and let go of this hardness in my body, and like you this has been life changing.
Beautiful, the gentle, graceful, truly deepening and surrending nature of the modalities are so exquisite !
Hello Jenny Ellis and it’s great to see a woman weighing in like this, with an equal responsibility to the way things are. We are all part of the world we live and so at any point we all have an equal responsibility, it may look different at times but there is always something we can offer as you done here. I agree about what Simon has written and how clearly it is explained.
Yes agreed Raymond Karam… responsibility for the way things are lies equally with all of us, and if we’re prepared to look beyond the immediate situation at all the contributing factors that led to that point, then nobody and no gender is any more to blame. In fact blame is not the issue and that’s where we get stuck… it is understanding that’s needed before we can really begin addressing this issue.
This is another great point Jenny so often we tend to wrestle with the “immediate situation” without looking beyond what the bigger picture is saying. It feels like anytime we narrow something down into things like a ‘gender war’ or a day of the week as examples we can be blinded by what else is happening. It is almost like an autopilot type mode. There is a bigger responsibility to ourselves, life and others that as soon as you look narrowly at you lose. Thank you Jenny.
Yes absolutely… the moment we shirk responsibility for the whole, we’ll bog ourselves down in the minutiae of detail in our own story, blaming another for our own misery rather than seeing the part we’ve played in the creation of what is at play. I agree totally… the ‘gender war’ is a justification we pull in from society for our own story. If I fit that picture then l’m justified to feel the way I do. No responsibility… and therefore, sadly no change.
Well said Doug. I’d never heard of Connective tissue prior to Universal Medicine. Seems crazy and reminds me of how science often reduces things to its component parts without taking the whole into consideration.
Thank you Doug for reminding me of that amazing quote. If only Plato was running the National Health….the extreme costs, near-breaking-point waiting lists and inane pressures on staff would all be alleviated as modern medicine started to address root causes.
The understanding that this deepened in me is that when we are rough with ourselves, hard and override what we feel then it is this that allows us to do this to others. Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy deepens your connection to your body and supports you to release the hardening and tension, when your body changes its physical state your emotional state also changes.
It seems to me that that is a great question Doug – perhaps the medical practitioners of ‘conventional’ medicine did not know or have mistakenly overlooked the profound importance of this fact for themselves, but now Universal Medicine through the Teachings of The Ageless Wisdom, Esoteric Complementary Therapies and Modalities, is at last providing the missing link of understanding in this arena. Is that a possibility?
I agree Doug. It is where we are bing pulled to and in the words of many great movie baddies ‘resistance is futile’.
Ha ha Ha Otto! ‘Resistance is futile’.
Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing healing technique like all Esoteric Healing modalities but this is my favourite as my body simply loves it and responds to it so beautifully and is a great foundation of how by body really loves to be naturally with a space flow and harmony inside .
One of the factors that has adversely affected my health is pushing my way through life with a hard drive that has set in my body like concrete to such an extent that I was totally unaware of anything I felt in my body. As I have slowly refined my diet and paid more attention to what I feel inside, I am discovering a wisdom, a sense of knowing that is amazing. There is still a great deal to clear, and sometimes it feels like I’m going backwards, but every day I notice I can feel more and more. Sometimes it is very uncomfortable and I go back into my old patterns of eating to numb it, but gradually I am feeling more confident with allowing everything to be felt.
Love it Emily, trust many will get how powerful the treatments are and have a try of them. They are simply amazing.
Awesomely presented Simon. You’ve made it very clear that tensing, being hard and tough affects not only your moods and feelings, but your WHOLE body as well. I love how you’ve explained the way the body works. I ah, now feel like a connective tissue therapy appointment.
Simon this is such a significant contribution to opening up a deeper level of understanding as to the contributing factors of domestic violence. Getting this discussion going in the public arena will be very supportive to All and understood by many. There only needs to be a few willing to accept this understanding and make a choice for themselves to participate in CTT to ground this truth and pave the way for more people to start to understand that being trapped in the cycle of hardening and abuse is not the only choice.
Thank you Sandra for your comments on this discussion, indeed an important one on many levels. The hardness we hold in our bodies is a contributing to many behaviours, some obviously harming and others, very subtle. One direction the conversation needs to go is how in hardness we deplete our vitality and immune system and become more vulnerable to illness and disease. When the deeper cause and significance and of this to our way of life is really understood, it will be world changing.
Very interesting and makes a lot of sense that, ‘how in hardness we deplete our vitality and immune system and become more vulnerable to illness and disease.’ With exhaustion and illness at the levels they are, the fact is that our health can be helped by choosing to let go of our layers of ‘supposed’ protection and hardness.
Thank you, Simon for explaining so clearly how we harden our bodies and how Esoteric Connective Tissue Treatment helps with this. There is such a delicate balance in the body and ECTT helps us feel where we have hardened up and then we can feel into why we chose for this to happen.
It was fascinating to read about how ECTT works to release harness in this context Simon. I have had ECTT sessions and have experienced how deeply restorative these sessions are. ECTT has allowed me to let go of a huge amount of hardness from my body.
Simon, I love how you share how your awareness grew of the hardness you had in your body. This is something I have become more and more aware of recently. It is interesting as hardness in a male body is celebrated and often strived for as being highly desirable. Yet we can achieve muscle tone and strength without going into a protective hard state and that is something I can feel bring optimal energy levels. As hardness takes effort to achieve and hold yourself in, whereas a more gentle state of being is less effort, making it easier to carry my body around and affecting greatly my state of being, my thought processes and my ability to engage in life.
“Hardness takes effort to achieve and hold yourself in, whereas a more gentle state of being is less effort, making it easier to carry my body around and affecting greatly my state of being, my thought processes and my ability to engage in life”. Stephen this is a revelation that all men need to hear! If all men started to live this way there would be a huge shift in the state of humanity and so much would change and or drop away. Thank you for sharing.
I agree, the role of our connective tissue is much underestimated. I do since a few years now every morning some very gentle and careful exercise basing on ‘connective tissue movements’. Which changed and supports my body & life enormously.
Thank you for the reminder Sandra – we can do our own connective tissue work, thanks to the guidance by some amazing health practitioners.
The enormous benefits and effects that some simple and subtle exercises can have on the body shocks me to think of how we can throw ourselves around and be quite violent with ourselves in our movements and what damage this is doing to our organs, spine, blood vessels and more!
Yes, what we choose has an enormous impact on our body, which is our vehicle of expression and so – it has an impact on our surrounding and relationships as well. As I said: not to underestimate….
During my 30’s I cycled from east to south london & back 5/6 days a week and considered myself pretty fit. I would pride myself on the short cuts I could take & how quickly I could pass the rush hour traffic. However I can honestly say that not ever did I pay any heed to my often aching body, I simply pushed myself through every journey, it was like a battle with the outer world, dodging cars, buses and people. My focus was always what lay in front, behind, around me it was rarely about what was going on within me. It was not until I came across the work of Universal Medicine that I began to see that true health and fitness is about communication/connection with your body, not pumping it full of adrenalin and driving it like a machine!
If we condition men to shut down their sensitivity we are asking them to shut down their awareness and to over-ride their ability to feel. No wonder then that they become capable of systematic abuse to themselves and to others around them. I am not excusing the behaviour of men in any way, but I am asking the question that if men were truly sensitive and aware of the harm they were causing when they were being abusive then would they still do it? I’m not so sure they would. We cannot just point the finger at men and some obviously abhorrent acts of violence and cruelty, we all have a responsibility to connect with, honour, nurture and support men to re-connect with and stay connected with their natural tenderness and sensitivity.
Re-reading this article it occurs to me that we have twisted the meaning of sensitivity far away from its real meaning. Sensitivity is often thought of as a weakness and a flaw, even associated with being reactive and a bit touchy about things. When really sensitivity simply means to be very aware or feeling everything that is going on around you and inside of you. The trouble is that because we do not know how to handle what we feel, often we end up reacting to it which other people register as a bad thing. If we learnt to observe, feel and read what is occurring at any moment then maybe we could learn to respond rather than react to what we are feeling?
Breaking through the deeply entrenched championing of men being tough is totally world changing. For women to break through the myth of trying to be men would also make a big difference!
Here here Matildaclark – a great and very valid point to bring to light. We can focus on the men forsaking their sensitivity yet the women are getting away with denying their sacredness by trying to fill some societal need for equality with men. This feels old and also deeply entrenched as women get caught in needing to ‘do it like the guys’ to prove their worth. When women connect to their delicate stillness there is power a plenty.
Beautifully said Rachel. I couldn’t agree more.
The profoundness and simplicity of ECTT is unheard of. The more stillness we allow, the more clear I can ‘hear’ the body communicating with me. Whether that being my own body or a client’s body. It is remarkable how our bodies actually guide us in letting go of anything that doesn’t belong to the true us. Profound and simple. And what a joy to feel the love returning into our bodies.
I have found that ECTT has allowed me to get a deeper sense of how I feel. This has helped me to be more understanding and accepting of others. Like all other modalities presented by Universal Medicine, it works on a much more deeper level than the physical.
‘The fact that it wraps around muscles, joints and bones, all of our blood vessels, nerves and organs, plus throughout our central nervous system, the spine and brain, indicates how important connective tissue is to our general wellbeing.’ Absolutely Simon and yet the importance of the connective tissue system is often little recognised within the medical profession. Interestingly it is removed and discarded very early in the dissection process in order to expose the ‘more important’ tissue beneath. This approach within the lab misses an opportunity to explore in a tangible way the deeply influential, integrative and supportive role connective tissue has on our body. What a great start it would be if medical students could take time to explore these connections and begin to feel the important role it has to play in our day to day lives.
Thank you Jane for contributing this. Our grounding of the true importance and significance of connective tissue to our bodies function and wellbeing, our behaviour and quality of life is a great example of the role of Universal Medicine as an essential complement to western medicine.
I totally get what you are saying Jane and I had that thought yesterday. The Connective Tissue is a bit like Space and the Planets. The planets are the objects that the space scientists focus on but not the space that holds the planets, this amazing medium of communication and impulses!
Great way to explain this Lyndy, I feel this is the crux, for until humanity acknowledges energy we will never see the whole picture.
During ECTT I really started to understand and feel the hardness I was holding in my body., I could feel shifts in my body as the tissues started to soften up and let go of the hardness.. It is really about choosing to be gentle and sensitive with ourselves in the quality of our movements every day.
After completing level I ECTT training I can clearly remember slapping my arm out to stop a door from closing. That simple action I would have done 100 times and never felt how jarring it was to my body…for what benefit…two additional seconds of re-opening a door.
That’s a great Amita and Joel, this awareness is how we begin to develop a new normal in our lives and it can be quite shocking what we have settled for.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy brings our bodies back to life, or maybe brings our awareness back to life to feel everything our bodies are feeling all of the time.
We can add to the functions of support and protection that our connective tissue is indeed a communication system in our bodies, relating very sensitive responses from one part of our body to another. The way our connective tissue responds to delicate, rhythmic movement, brings awareness and meaning as to how we can influence the quality of communication through our bodies from skin to organs and thus the quality of our physiological function and wellbeing.
This is such a beautiful addition to verbalise Simon, re the capacities and roles of Connective Tissue – the way it responds, its delicate rhythmic movements influencing the quality of communication through the body, so influences the functioning of the organs. What a divine and non-invasive way to heal the body and support us in our choice to live another way.
Exactly Lyndy the connective tissue brings more understanding to why our body feels expansive when we are present and simply meeting ourselves. Our connective tissue becomes more fluid and responsive, contributing to being in homeostasis and towards harmony. When we are ‘somewhere else’, in our mind, thinking about something other than what we are doing, it responds by bracing and contracting. As Serge Benhayon has presented many times, our bodies are equipped to deal with the present moment – with what is before us – but becomes ill -equipped and racy, nervous, anxious, when we bring in future or past scenarios which take the body into ‘what if’ or ‘what should have been’ situations. Being aware of this sensitive tissue and what it communicates can bring us to the truth of how to live in harmony with life.
Simon reading through your article I could relate so much to living life from a hard contacted body. Because of my physical bracing I was less able to feel what was going on around me and less able to feel how I was being in the world. It was like I was in a turret of a castle, shooting arrows at anyone who came close without even discerning if they were friend or foe. Through the gradual release of my body I have regained much of the sensitivity that I had as a child and far from being scary, the world is a much richer place.
Yes Alexis I am enjoying the worlds richness now that I have stopped reacting, and it has as you say been a gradual process. Who would have ever though the protection we build in the body would be a factor in our diminished ability to enjoy life.
This is so true Merrilee, the paradox is we then build up our exterior world to bring in another form of ‘enjoyment’ because we are protecting and keeping safe our true and inner joy from the world, each other and even ourselves.
Indeed Alexis releasing the tough exterior requires honesty and connection, and it’s not until we begin to let the hardness fall away that we realise how protected & guarded we have become with one another and how normal this has become.
Thanks for writing this Simon. It shows and opens up the conversation we need to be having as men very beautifully and simply, and offers such a great introduction to the modality of Connective Tissue Therapy. And I can say from experience that all you have shared about it and its benefits for us as men – are right on track. It has definitely supported me to understand my body, and how I hold that anger and frustration in pockets of my body that then effect the way I interest with people – and especially the close to me.
The incredible healing potential that lies within our connective tissue therapy is amazing! I love how light I feel in my body when my connective tissue has had a realignment – it’s such an amazingly powerful therapy, I would recommend it to anyone.
When you wrote about connective tissue ‘ this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.’ it shows how we can build that armour over years and not realise it’s there. The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a gentle way to develop our awareness so that we can release that tension and learn to live more tenderly.
Very true Carmel, I know that parts of my body were turning into stone from years of protecting myself and I was so used to feeling like this, identifying these areas of myself was extremely challenging. ECTT enabled me to feel my true quality again and once I connected with that, it became easier and easier to point out and shed the metal and stone cladding and allow my body to return to its natural, delicate state.
Such an important point Carmel and it is understandable that people just explode if it becomes normal to hold so much tension in their bodies.
I loved re-reading this powerful article Simon. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality and it reveals very beautifully and clearly how holding our bodies hard actually feels, in contrast to the tender and surrendered way our bodies can be. Esoteric Connective Tissue treatments leave us with a powerful marker we can constantly call on if we choose to start re-introducing our natural tender ways into our daily lives.
Whenever I see the rough and tough image of men, I realise that men become rough and tough because they are very sensitive. If they weren’t sensitive they wouldn’t work hard at being rough and tough. If you really don’t care about those around you, why would you bother being rough and tough? Being rough and tough isn’t fun, you know.
Absolutely Christoph the lengths men go to, to appear hard and unbreakable is a dead give away that naturally they are just as sensitive as women. The only difference is that we allow or permit to a certain extent women to express their sensitivity and vulnerability but we do not allow it in men.
And what is interesting Andrew is that we are now seeng more and more women who are trying to equal men in their rough and tough state. As it is seen as the way to get ahead in life, in careers and daily interactions. A kind of ‘can’t beat em then join em’ state of living. Yet it would make a lot more sense to me if we all exposed our vulnerability and expressed as we naturally feel to, not driven by the expectation to conform to a certain way of being as a man or woman, but just as we innately feel to. Perhaps then we might see less celebrating of the hardness and more openness and honesty.
If it was fully understood that the state of our own bodies contributes to our behaviour, there would be a lot less blame and judgment and more of an understanding that could lead to encouraging more responsibility. I’m sure most people who become violent do not really want to act like they do, but they lack an understanding of how they can avoid building up the tension that causes them to behave violently.
I have noticed that reactions to emotional dysfunction can feed the process. It is the same in society as in our body when we touch something hot and the connective tissues instantly contract… are we not the same with other people when presented by say a threatening person in a crowd? All of these public contractions are stored in the body, but there are no visible outer scars of the injury. ECTT is what I have experienced finds and unravels the mess we have allowed in our bodies. When our body moves freely, we relate to the world in a more open way.
What you have raised and shared with us here Simon is hugely significant, i.e. that it is possible to undo years of literally ‘hardening ourselves’ to the world, and rediscover a gentler way of being. And that there is a therapy, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy which directly addresses this hardening we have stored in the connective tissue of our bodies – which seems to keep us in a state of ‘readily triggered’ reaction to any perceived threat around us.
There feels much more to be said here around how we can actually address ill behaviours via the body and support a turn-around for people who may lose control. Would love to hear more in relation to your ‘opening’ here on domestic violence in this regard. The article seemed to fall short of completing on this note, and the implications for the broader picture here, which are hugely significant for our societies.
Understanding the role of the connective tissue in the body has helped me to understand that the tightness and hardness that I have been holding in my body is not random (in which many people think it is). Through the Esoteric Healing modalities including Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy I can feel that if I hold onto emotions in any shape or form, they are held there in my body which contributes to the uneasiness that I can feel. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an incredible modality that not only helps to shift this held tension in the body but also calls us to heal the reasons as to why the tension is there in the first place.
Our bodies are fascinating. They tell us exactly what is going on if only we would learn to listen to them. Our connective tissue system can be like a flowing river system in our body or it can be like a hardened coat of amour depending on how we are choosing to live. What a great area of research this would be, to look at how our lifestyle choices affect our physical body down to the connective tissue level.
Yes Elizabeth, it would be very powerful and serve so many for there to be more research on connective tissue and the esoteric connective tissue modality and the transformations that have taken place in people’s bodies as a result. We’ve walked away from our tenderness, forgotten it is our natural way, and yet just one Esoteric Connective Tissue session takes us right back to how gorgeously tender our bodies are.
And what a fascinating study to undertake Elizabeth. I have never truly appreciated just how sensitive my body is until I stopped abusing it and started instead to pay attention to its many hundreds of subtle and not so subtle messages. Connective tissue is a broad term for a range of different cell structures whose function is to enable us to remain sturdy, flexible, agile, vital, nourished, energised. If we are restricted or hindered in any one of these qualities, then the body is clearly indicating all is not well within. Everyday we have the ability to enhance our health through our lifestyle or damage it and this all effects our connective tissue, everything we do has a consequence and over time our body will most definitely present us with the evidence.
Much is often made about the differences between the sexes but it’s fascinating to consider that we might be less different than we think. When men replace their armour with tenderness, there is a lovely gentleness that comes in. When women stop acting like men, the same occurs. Yes, we have biological differences for sure, but we are more similar than not.
Very true Victoria, and sadly as the fight for ‘equality’ continues, many women feel they have to compete in more ways against men, so now push themselves way past what their body is okay with, in order to be the best businessperson or sports star… Crazy how both genders have separated from this tenderness on such a huge scale.
Totally agree Victoria and I wonder how much hardness and insensitivity plays a part in remaining in a relationship that is abusive?
Great question Simon. To me it seems like there is a cycle that loops around and around. Hardness is used as protection to not feel our tenderness because then we feel unsure of how to support ourselves in that because all the lessons have been on how to not feel that tenderness. So we perpetuate the relationships with what is familiar and has become entrenched reactions. Here’s the interesting part for me…all along the tender sensitive side was screaming to come out but because I wasn’t listening I’d up the anti on self-abusive behavior thinking I was dealing with the internal scream. All I was doing was numbing so I couldn’t feel what was actually in my heart center. And that is a very simple stop please treat me with loving tenderness.
I agree Victoria, there is the same harmony that the body responds to whether it is a male body or a female body… this innate harmony is constantly letting us know when we are missing the mark! And that harmony comes from the same essence, be that man or woman on the physical level.
That’s an interesting point you make Victoria, we have chosen to be in competition with each other battling our differences and that’s been the focus rather that our similarilities. How different would everything be if we changed to appreciating each other.
Thank you Simon for this very thoughtful article on ECTT. At the start of the article the focus was on domestic violence but in truth this is something all men and women could benefit from, whether we are caught up in DV or not. This is not to diminish DV in any way, shape or form, but to acknowledge the myriad ways we harm ourselves by defending against the difficulties of life.
I agree Victoria. When we consider the hardness we deem as being normal in our bodies and how we treat each other which is in fact so far from normal, domestic violence is the more extreme behaviour of an abuse we have already accepted.
“The hardness is like a bracing in the body, which occurs when we take on the image of being tough.” Simon this is the default state that I can find my body going into if I don’t like what I start to feel in a situation. Yet I had a great experience recently where I let myself feel something that hurt instead of going hard, after a little time the hurt passed showing me I don’t need to harden and that doing so does not actually protect me from the hurt, it just means I have to feel it at some point in the future.
A great understanding Simon of the relationship between all the reasons we (women as well) harden our bodies to not feel our sensitivity and the effect it has on us. As you so well highlight, the problems occur because we become entrenched in the hardening mode. No wonder we have trouble responding appropriately when tenderness and delicacy is called for. But this is no excuse for abuse, it is the beginning of understanding and responsibility.
Your comment Sandra reminds me of just how un-comfortable I used to feel when I met true tenderness and fragility. It really un-nerved me because it felt like anyone being this tender in the world was in extreme danger and needed protecting, so I used to harden up even more in order to protect them too!
ECTT has shown me that my greatest strength lies in remaining open, aware, tender and delicate. The more I choose to stay open, the more information I allow myself to receive from the world I live in, and this supports me to respond accordingly, rather than going through life in a continual procession of knee jerk reactions, which is not only exhausting but very chaotic and stressful.
Simon, I love how you have put one and one together. Much of the problems society is facing come from the unnatural ways we have developed. Our natural sensitivity and tenderness is here for us to re-connect to, but we need role models to remind us there is another way of being for men as well as women.
We have come a long way, it is time to re-connect to our natural sensitive tender loving self.
Plus Katinka how the word ‘sensitive’ is reinterpreted to mean reactive or emotional, putting a negative slur on it. For men, this again relates back to ‘being a sissy’. There is consciousness working against this natural pull back to being tender.
True Simon. The notion of being ‘Sensitive’ has been cast with many ill-perceptions that support hardening up and guarding of ourselves, shutting down of our awareness and can be a convenient label to put to anything we wish to turn our back on, not consider, see or hear. Sensitivity has become a tool of dismissal rather than honoured for the connection and awareness that is being chosen and lived, calling us all to go deeper, to reconnect to our bodies and to adhere to our natural wisdom.
Wow this is so key Simon, to be sensitive today is seen as a negative a weakness, indeed there is strong consciousness working to dismiss the power of man’s tenderness.
Me too Simon and Katinka,
Simon has really opened up and got underneath what is going on in society that is creating the issue. Not just putting a bandaid on the top hoping it will go away. We could say – oh well the abuse needs to be made illegal and more accountable; Violence needs to have harder punishments. But that won’t ever change anything (other than maybe filling up our courts and jails more). We need to get beneath the surface and support, understand, and nurture Men to be who they really are. To break the cycle of raising men to be tough and hard – rather than the kind, warm, sensitive, caring, tender and intimate leaders, fathers, brothers and husbands they can be. Then we will change things.
A much needed change Simon and it will happen for I have seen men around me claiming their tenderness, deep care and sensitivity and it cannot but inspire other men to connect to those same qualities and raise their sons reflecting that which lives within all men.
The way you describe the hardness in the body, going right through and affecting every body system including the organs, make sense – a body that is carried like that is very likely to go into reaction and perceive seemingly mundane things as a menace it has to brace itself against.
“Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships”- thanks for clearly showing the positive benefits of esoteric connective tissue in our daily lives. This powerful but gentle healing modality is a Godsend.
Yes so true Gill, our bodies are so responsive to everything we think and feel, they automatically respond in all ways to protect us, tightening all our muscles and soft tissue to hold the world at bay. The power of ECTT proves that love conquers all, as the deeply gentle movements trigger a surrender in the hardest of places, allowing the body tissue to ease and relinquish of all the imposed emotions, thoughts and actions that it was asked to defend us from. It is impossible to resist dropping into a deep stillness during a session and feeling the exquisitely tender nurturing, a quality that we associate with caring for a new born baby and a deeply healing sensation to feel and connect to in our bodies once more.
Great to discuss this therapy and other Unimed modalities with medical staff. Imagine being referred to Connective Tissue Therapy by your GP to not just heal the symptoms but to let go of whatever caused the problem. That would be a big step forward for humanity.
Simon the connection you make between the hardness of the male body and domestic violence does make a lot of sense. Once we have put on a suit of armour to protect us against hurts, we become insensitive, hence the various irrational behaviours that follow. Thank you for reminding us of the delicate Connective Tissue Therapy that was developed to assist us in our healing.
“At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting. The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be. Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense, and so, the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled, just as if we were wearing armour all day long.”
This is such a very informative blog. ECTT is an amazing modality offering us the opportunity to feel who we truly are underneath the tension and hardness we hold in our bodies and gives us the opportunity to surrender and let it go, as we reconnect to true self.
Thank you for writing about ECTT, – which I too love to receive. Amazing to read your blog and how this type of therapy has emanated into your life and your choices toward yourself and consequently, others. Beautiful ripple effects.
“The hardness held in our bodies significantly relates to how the connective tissue acts like an ‘armour’ and as muscle fascia, it relates to the hardness in muscles often seen in men as ‘beneficial’ – according to the model of how ‘a man’ should be.” The heralding of the model male torso, the anabolic man is so misleading and unnatural, in fact its easy to see how shallow this surface armour is, for these pumped up bodies speak naught of the sensitivity and tenderness that all men truly are.
I love how you describe the false image we hold about men Lucindag.
It is true Lucinda, this pumped up armour like image some men aspire to is unnatural. The more people understand the relationship between hardness and emotional reactivity and abuse the more they will begin explore what is natural.
Well said Lucinda and Simon. Put a man (or woman) through intensive boxing training and fight schedules, for example. Pump the body and psyche for such a fight/defence/attack state, and how can you expect that man or woman to be consistently tender and gentle with others in the rest of their lives? False body images and seeking such ideals can be causing more harm that we would like to know.
What you have shared here on Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and how it can assist us to undo any ‘toughening up’ or hardening we have brought to our bodies whatsoever, is ground-breaking. Not much is said publicly about how our body-state influences our behaviour – there seems to be so much to bring forth here.
That is such a key understanding and awareness to come to Simon. We have allowed men to become stereotyped and portrayed in a way that is in total opposition to their true expression. Promoting the muscular torso and the ‘die hard’ attitude leaves absolutely no room for a man to discover who he truly is and how to manfully express his innate and awesome sensitivity and tenderness. I can only imagine that this must levy even more confusion and pain onto the man’s shoulders as he seeks to work out who he is and how to truly live in this world.
It is time we owned up to the fact that love is not activated by an on/off button that is there at our whim. It is, in truth, impossible to be boxing champion of the world and love your wife at the same time – not because you do not wish it so, but because your body has been configured in such a way that it cannot express the love you hold trapped within.
The depth of understanding that is being offered is very appreciated. With this greater level of awareness I can appreciate more the person that is in front of me beyond the armour they are currently wearing. On the inside we are all only a Connective Tissue Therapy session away from feeling deeper tenderness. How awesome would it be to have this understanding presented to everyone.
This is very true Lucinda, ‘these pumped up bodies speak naught of the sensitivity and tenderness that all men truly are.’ I can feel how hard and un-natural this ‘muscle man’ look is and that underneath there is a very sensitive, tender man. It feels very sad that men often feel they have to harden up in this way to live up to the tough man image society has of them. How amazing would it be if we allowed, encouraged and celebrated the tenderness, gentleness and natural caring nature of men, rather than encouraging them to be hard and tough.
It’s true Doug, how greatly have we dulled ourselves that we can no longer see the glaringly obvious lie that a man’s beauty could be held in the taut, strained skin of a disfigured and swollen bicep.
I agree. This commonly perceived role model of a ‘man’ is completely at odds with a True Man and his natural way. It is not natural to be hard, disconnected and ‘pumped up’ – we need only consider a fresh faced, tender child to recognise the absolute tenderness and grace and the strength in that, that is naturally a man and has been there from the start.
“The heralding of the model male torso, the anabolic man is so misleading and unnatural, in fact its easy to see how shallow this surface armour is, for these pumped up bodies speak naught of the sensitivity and tenderness that all men truly are.” I love that – pumped up bodies speak naught of the sensitivity and tenderness that all men truly are. True men lies in there connection to themselves, their sensitivity, openness and tenderness.
Simon great to hear about the inspirational impact of Connective Tissue therapy particularly from the perspective of both a man and fitness instructor. My young children often provide me with an amazing marker of how tender and supple our bodies can feel, yet somewhere along the journey we toughen up, comply with the outer demands and disconnect from the great wisdom held in our bodies.
Reblogged this on florisvanderschot's Blog and commented:
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy (#ECTT), een eeuwenoude – opnieuw geïntroduceerde vorm van #therapie. Dat lichte aanrakingen zulke #effecten kunnen hebben, #dekrachtvanliefde #liefde #kracht #overgave #heling #ontspanning
I had a training yesterday and it ‘just happened’ that the trainer asked me for some support with logging in on the network. As she was joking about magic hand I indeed playfully confirmed that I do have magic hand. I placed one had on her shoulder and made little movements. As she’s very sensitive she instantly felt the warmth (even though I had quite cold hands) and I felt she dropped more into her body. Another confirmation what ECTT – even in some seconds can do. It’s AMAZING.
This is a good point – we are not talking a quick fix and a masking of pain or limitation in the body…Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is the real deal – lasting, healing to the core of disharmony recent and long term and in healing our issues and ill-flow in the body in a True way, we are healing and moving on from our former ways, patterns and choices.
Whoa Floris, that’s incredible to hear about =)
Beautiful Emily. I’m loving the way you express yourself. I can feel how you’ve connected. This is making me realise how rare this is. It is reminding me of so many people that I come across that do not even want to be touched. Let alone be touched by themselves… This is showing the cycle of absolute lack of self-neglect and self-abuse that we are in right in this present moment. Yet, every single one experiencing ECTT is touched by the warmth and surrendering that they experience. Without exception. To me this means to appreciate and celebrate ECTT to it’s Divine core and also realising that there’s a lot of work to be done for humanity!
Yes Floris, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is amazingly powerful and supportive, great to hear of this example.
Fascinating blog Simon. l have a deeper understanding now of the topics discussed. lt makes sense to do the connective tissue exercises, because l can appreciate how it will contribute to hardness through tensing up and bracing. lt is imperative to let go of this hardness in my body if l am to feel a gentler quality of me in my life.
Very well said Doug. As a parent I can understand why we would want to protect our children. But teaching them to be in hardness and to be tough doesn’t protect them, it does the opposite. Hardness is teaching our children not to trust and that the World is not a safe place. Even the idea of wanting protection is an indication of already feeling we cannot trust. Yet when we surrender and trust, we are opening ourselves up for love and love is the most powerful energy on earth. Hardness simply keeps us away from feeling love.
So so true Chan . . . and our whole education system is based up seeking safety, security and protection from life, while inflicting hardness upon us! Parents and teachers who are aware of this truth that ‘teaching them to be in hardness and to be tough doesn’t protect them, it does the opposite. Hardness is teaching our children not to trust and that the World is not a safe place. Even the idea of wanting protection is an indication of already feeling we cannot trust. Yet when we surrender and trust, we are opening ourselves up for love and love is the most powerful energy on earth. Hardness simply keeps us away from feeling love.’ an be a powerful influence on the lives of our children, even while the current system is still dominating the scene.
I too have held hardness in my body, thinking I was protecting myself when in fact I was causing more harm in my body than I realised. Now, I have become more and more aware of how I hold myself as this impacts on my body and how I interact with others. I can choose to be in gentleness and tenderness more and more each day. This affects how I am with myself and with others.
Yes I too used to deliberately brace myself against the harshness of life – it’s been a long term habit that’s been tricky to let go of, but every time I don’t do it, I feel a sense of victory and true calm and true control in my body.
‘Hardness’, is protection, it is a hugely damaging way to choose to hold our body because it creates tension and stress. ‘Hardness’ is a defence mechanism which allow us to be on guard, ready to attack in case something comes up, when we feel threatened or hurt. I feel that holding ourselves in hardness is a false sense of security, as it doesn’t protect us at all, it does the opposite. Whereas choosing to be tender and gentle we are solid as a rock, nothing can penetrate through tenderness and gentleness because it doesn’t allow us to react or absorb any ill behaviours or reactions from others when we choose to connect to who we are. We are all born with natural tenderness and gentleness, so we can connect to this at any time, and it is always there.
I agree Chan Ly, that hardness is barrier, it keeps in as much as it keeps out, denies experience, ignores trust. Our natural tenderness and gentleness is so much more encompassing, and gives us an inner security that chooses loving response not fearful reaction.
‘nothing can penetrate through tenderness and gentleness,’ beautifully expressed Chan Ly.
Yes, very true Chan Ly and Doug, and hardening is championed and celebrated, particularly in men, but more so recently in women too. It is seen as a good thing that we can tough out situations, that supposedly makes us better equipped to deal with life, but what it is really doing is shutting down our bodies, creating disharmony and increasing our risk of disease and ill health.
Beautiful Chan Ly. It’s so interesting how we’ve got it programmed into us that hardening forms a protection, when , it is completely the opposite. Staying tender, open and gentle are the way to go yet for some reason on many occasions it is seen as weak. Holding the hardness does give a false sense of security and also a rigidness to life, always contraction and protection with what’s going on around you. I love how you have explained living with tenderness and gentleness and how different and, actually natural the two qualities are to live with.
Chan Ly – what you say is so terrific. The total reversal of the ideas of what protects us. It’s brilliant. And I love your claiming of the fact that tenderness and gentleness are in fact the true ways to look after ourselves amongst the maelstrom of life. I love it. Imagine the school teacher or sports coach saying to the little boy “come on John, be more gentle.”
The title of an article in a famous, traditional, middle of the road Women’s magazine, recently out: ‘Netball Hardens up – the new Gladiators are about to step into the Arena’ . . . and they are celebrating this!
I would prefer your sentence Otto, ‘Imagine the school teacher or sports coach saying to the little boy “come on John, be more gentle.”’
It’s crazy. When I was a kid, Netball was a relatively gentle game. No heavy body contact, no extreme exertion. Sure, it was competitive but it definitely felt like there was an awareness that this was not a full-bore contact sport.
‘ The sensitivity I reclaimed meant listening to my body and exploring a totally different relationship with it to avoid any insult I was causing my body through intense, forceful or jarring exercise or stretching.’ Simon this is the opposite to what we are taught with general exercise and fitness. We are taught to push and strain and force the body which hardens it. Thank you for this much needed exposing blog.
There is the accepted view that unless you sweat you’re not working out hard enough, or that if you’re not hard you’re a wimp, but both of these things are not true. To allow ourselves to feel sensitive and tender really enables us to understand ourselves and other people on a much deeper level.
Yeah Well Said Kathryn,
If that is really what ‘health’ means – to push and drive ourselves away from our tenderness and open way of being naturally, maybe we need to look at what we have made that word mean?
This is true Kathryn, listening to our bodies is certainly at odds with the common perception around exercise and that pain is gain and somehow a positive experience.
This blog is great to dispel such myths by presenting the natural and significant benefits of reconnecting to our bodies wisdom, sensitivity and flow. When we harden and are forceful it makes total sense that we cut off from our bodies natural order and flow.
Yes its true Kathryn, the general attitude is that unless we feel pain, we don’t gain anything from exercise. All that really happens is we harden up our bodies and make them work twice as hard, one to do the workout in the first place and second to mop up the damage done forcing our bodies to do un-natural things. All in all a bit daft, particularly as ECTT proves again and again that our bodies are just crying out for some true tender loving care that enables it to release the inner tensions by allowing the whole body with all its intricate tissues and structures to surrender and rest. Our future body workers and fitness coaches will all be teaching us how to exercise with gentleness so that we maintain and improve our fitness in a way that does not damage or harden the body in any way whatsoever.
Thank you for highlighting that part Kathryn. That definitely needs to be looked at as that way of excercising is all I ever see. There is no consideration for the whole body and the results of putting so much tension and pressure on yourself. The connective tissue would be screaming out for sure.
“This increased sensitivity and awareness has also become a whole new foundation for the way I live and brought a new more gentle quality to everything I do, which has greatly increased my level of vitality and my sense of wellbeing.” Re-connecting to this innate sensitivity and awareness, which we all have as children, through the Esoteric Healing Modalities, in particular the Connective Tissue Therapy, is like being reborn.
Beautiful Jonathan, a feeling of being reborn is how I feel too since allowing my natural sensitivity, awareness and power to be.
I want to join in this realisation about Connective Tissue Therapy; it is my favourite esoteric healing modality, so far.
Amen to that Jonathan 🙂
Double Amen Jonathan. A great way to explain the power of ECCT. What I am realising through this blog and all the comments is that just the act of connecting to the existence of Connective Tissue is in itself a great healing for us. The fact that such a wondrous ‘system’ even exists inside our bodies is, for me at least, a show-stopping thing to consider. It’s kinda like a thousand times more powerful version of when you look at a delicate flower and marvel at the mastery of its design and beauty. As I sit here and type, I’m considering the connective tissue in my hands and I can’t help but feeling a presence, precision and tenderness to their movement. Cool!
Love this Otto, so in touch, if I may say so. I have just had the experience of feeling a raciness in my spine and had the opportunity to lay down for a few minutes. It did not clear, in fact it became more intense as I tuned in, but I came to be very tender with it through gentle rocking of my pelvis. I got up and went back to work in an exquisitely gentle and sensitive way, adjusting the height of my chair so my arms rested more on top of the desk and adjusted the back rest so my back was super supported. It allowed the feeling of raciness to clear out through my arms and legs and leave a lovely fiery warmth in its place. There is much to re-imprint in life in a very simple way with the awareness our connective tissue can offer.
Connective Tissue Therapy is a powerful healing modality, facilitating the return to our bodies natural flow, grace and spaciousness. Connective Tissue Therapy is a wondrous support and blessing on every level.
Yea true Jonathan. My body feels new again, like it has just been born and I haven’t yet had the chance to be tough with it. Also, I feel super precious with myself and am delicate, just like a baby.
ECTT is the medicine towards all the exhaustion, hardness, drive, pushing, etc. It is simply supplying stillness and a reconnection to the Divineness we come from. It is just simply Wonderful! And what I personally love is that it leaves the depth of reconnecting up to the receiving one. No imposing at all. Just presenting the possibility. And the more I have become familiar with the love inside, the more I missed it when not feeling it. Over the years I’ve made more and more choices to connect to myself. And that actually nothing outside of me comes nowhere near the worth of my own Love.
I love the subtlety of it… these tiny movements down in my feet realign all sorts of areas in my body through the connective tissue – its always surprising and amazing how powerful it is both to give and receive.
I was reading this again, and yes agree absolutely. I was lying on the table after a massage earlier this week marvelling at how reconfigured my body felt. It was amazing to feel so tender after a relatively short space of time, and also a reminder of how I can let the body harden, protecting myself in little ways from the world.
Esoteric connective tissue therapy is such a deep experience in my body and brings me in a very tender state, my natural state. As you share Simon, there are so many thoughts and belief patterns which makes us hard which as a consequence can lead into illness, and as such it is a blessing to have healing modalities like esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and esoteric Healing.
To live life out of emotional reaction is indeed to just keep loading the body up with more and more protection and hardening that takes us further away from the connection with others we are seeking.
This is great Jenny, we all know how emotions affect our physical being. Yet we see emotions as something that just happens to us. By experiencing a modality like Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, we begin to experience how sensitive we are and that we do have a choice of the energy that makes us who we are. This is truly healing and living.
Receiving an Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy session reminds my body of its natural tenderness, softness and delicateness, and helps me to let go of any hardness and protection I have built to cover this up. It feels so amazing to feel the flexibility, warmth and pliability returning to my tissues and expanding throughout my body. It is like receiving a gigantic hug that melts my heart.
I agree Rebecca. It’s a hug from the inside out. In only reading this blog, I can feel the power of this modality working on my connective tissue.
As men, taking on the different roles of life deprives us from expressing our true nature of tenderness and delicateness. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy (ECTT) is the perfect medium for men to reconnect to this quality within.
I totally agree with you Francisco.
ECTT is an amazing modality and so needed in a society where we all life in hardness and protection in our bodies. The tension and pain this brings is a painful and relentless way of living and we are always looking for relief from the simple headache to deep muscular and body pain illness and disease. Esoteric connective tissue therapy I have found as many others have (being brought to us by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine) is life and body changing and brings us the awareness of this hardness and empowers us with our livingness to feel and the choice to change this lovingly for all. Thank you for this great article and understanding of what is truly going on.
Every time I receive ECTT it is simply amazing. In short I feel it is supplying the possibility to surrender to my own love and let go as much that I choose to let go of what is in between living my amazing love and not living it. To me it feels as if the surrendering is possible because I am confirmed in my own love and by that confirmation I let go of any arrogance, ignorance, ideal, belief, hardness, etc. All those things that I seemingly have to protect myself with. Today I felt how much control I hold in my right leg. When the practitioner placed her hand lovingly on my hip I could feel how hard I actually hold myself in that area. Something I’ve never been really honest about. How amazing is that. Simply by feeling a loving hand on my hip. ECTT, I love it.
Isn’t it interesting and powerful to observe, Floris, that mental ideals and arrogance, for example, can be held in the body and how our persona changes when our bodies let go. I have noticed this over and over again, getting on the treatment table with an Esoteric Healing practitioner with worries in my head and feeling of burdens and then at the end of the session, coming off the table feeling free and very joyful.
A man is naturally tender, and sensitive, and there is strength in knowing and living this way. If a man has fallen for the stereotypical tough guy image, he has forsaken his natural way in trying to be what society seemingly but falsely wants him to be. He grows up with a tough exterior and cements it with every gesture until he only knows himself this way. He can put on outer confidence but does not know his own true nature. Like you say Simon that lack of sensitivity and knowing of self leads to emotional issues, drug, alcohol, and all the problems that go with them. Most men would benefit greatly from ECTT to feel what it is like to drop the hardness and feel themselves. To feel the strength of being a real and natural man where there is not the slightest bit of abuse, that is the potential that women see in men, and that is the part of a man they fall in love with.
Out of all the esoteric modalities, I feel for me connective tissue therapy is the one I have taken to the most. It really is exquisite to feel and it supports you to drop very deeply and go incredibly still.
We could say the way we are in the world is the same, we are all parts of the whole and what we do can affect others in far reaching ways.
‘the man replied that men needed to get rid of the rough and tough image of what it was to be a man. As the camera panned back to the women, all three were nodding implicitly.’
To address the ‘rough and tough’ image of ‘being a man’ it is essential that as women we don’t just see this as a man’s problem, but support this image to be broken down entirely by exploring and addressing any investment WE may have in men being this way opposed to their natural sensitive selves. Do we feel secure around a forceful man? Are we attracted to a bay boy and if so, then why? Do we find it too confronting to be with a man who is more tender and caring with us than we are with ourselves? Do we want men to have big muscles? Do we expect a man to do whatever to provide for us and the family, even if it means he has to harden and live an entire life in overdrive as a way of trying to show his loved ones how much he cares?
Great questions Abby there is much to ponder on in your comment.
Amazing questions Abby. People do not always change or behave certain ways just for the sake of it, normally it is in response to another. You have highlighted that it is more than just a man’s issue here, but that we too as women contribute to this hardening.
This is a beautiful comment Abby and I have learned much from reading it. Often in our woes there is two sides playing the game, in this case you have mentioned the men who believe they need to be big and tough or live in overdrive to provide for their loved ones – and the women who want or desire this type of man because it keeps them comfortable ( doesn’t expose they aren’t living their true femaleness) countless examples come to me as I write this on how we are all playing the game, to keep love away.
It’s great to be aware of what is going on in the body in such detail Susan. We can all too often go about life not being aware of how we are affecting our bodies in every moment. ECTT creates a space and an invitation to stop and feel what we have created and gives us a chance to let it go.
Indeed ECTT works as such as subtle level that it is the perfect opportunity to really stop and feel how our bodies have become out of sync and not flowing in the way they are naturally designed.
If we contract and our connective tissue stops doing what it is meant to do, no matter how small the area that is affected, if it is left it will in time affect the whole system like dominos falling. ECTT can assist us in unsticking the thoughts we have self-created to cause the problem to start with.
This is a great description sjmatsonuk. Feeling and understanding the connective tissue helps us to see that on a bodily level we are completely connected, we can not separate one part from the whole. This has also led me to ponder on the wonder of how Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy works on the basis of symbiosis and how this also goes to show that not only are we connected within our own bodies, but we are all connected as we swim in a sea of energy.
Beautifully described sjmatsonuk, when we are in disharmony in life our body systems (such as our connective tissues) which are naturally made to work together in harmony, start to work dysfunctionally.
When I actually realised how intelligent our bodies all are equally it was a relief to me it brought kind of equality and connectedness to me because I had always considered myself not to be an intelligent person and therefore less than others. I have found ECTT to be a very subtle yet powerful modality that supports me to reconnect with my essence by feeling the stillness deep within my body while feeling the harsh protected areas of my body dissolve and drop away allowing me to feel the warmth of my true loving fragile delicate self emanating from within. To learn to feel and be guided by what my body is letting me rather than the chatter of my brain feels amazing in my body.
It is an amazing feeling I agree Margaret and makes life so easy when we just allow ourselves to feel and follow what our bodies are asking of us, it cuts out all the head chatter, doubt and confusion. ECTT restores a flow and gentleness to our bodies that many of us lost years ago, allowing us to regain that childlike feeling of ease and openness we so often lose when life gets a bit challenging and we toughen up to deal with. This modality truly supports us to stay calm, open, aware and willing even in when life is not always going the way we want it to. A gentle, powerful modality that is transforming many deeply ingrained health issues with astonishing results, as so many of us can attest to.
ECTT is a very subtle, gentle yet oh so powerful modality with the obvious benefits to humanity that you have highlighted Simon.I enjoyed reading your blog and learning more about this modality in relation to DV and hardness in our bodies.To be self loving and nurturing the choice is to avail ourselves of ECTT. This sentence says it all really;
“These choices can be easily made when we begin to feel and appreciate what a difference it makes to our energy levels, our self-confidence and our overall quality of life”.
Every part of my tissues loved reading what you share here Simon. It can be easy particularly as men to live in a way where we think we are ‘ok’ but we have just hardened up to the world. I recently attended Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 2 and could feel just how much this bracing feeling has been ‘normal’ to me. We think of domestic abuse as violence and purely hitting but its clear from what you share that living in a disharmonious and unloving way leaves us all harmed in a big way.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is nothing short of amazing. When I first experienced it in a session, I could not believe that whilst the practitioner was working so very gently at my feet, I could feel movement in my shoulder. The way I describe how I feel after an ECTT session is it feels like I have had a grease and oil change, as all my limbs feel light and loose. It’s quite delicious.
Grease and oil change with ECTT, yes Sandra . . .but what about the part that feels like HEAVEN? Perhaps we could call it ‘Heaven on Wheels’.
Oh yes Lyndy, there is that part where my body is so surrendered and any tension is gone, and the stillness I feel is exquisite.
Sandra, likening having Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy to having a ‘grease and oil change’ may be somewhat unusual but it is spot on! Having regular ECTT sessions is great maintenance for the body and soul. Everything flows so much lighter after ECTT!
I find doing the ECTT exercises are a great maintenance too Anne – they’re super simple and I do some lying on the floor before bed, and some I do sitting at my desk during the day and nobody would even know as the movements are so subtle. The whole body feels more fluid.
My body is calling out for a ECTT now I have read this blog and the comments, I have had several sessions and have felt the depth of connection to different parts within my body but now also have a greater awareness of the interconnection to the all.
ECTT exposes in me how much tension I hold in my connective tissue all over my body. It also shows that it is a choice to hold this tension.
Yes, totally Jinya, it is a choice to hold the tension in the body, but because we have lost awareness of our bodies we don’t realise that we are actually choosing tension, rather than simply feeling it and acknowledging it. ECTT is so brilliant in bringing us back to making us aware if what we have been carrying and how we have treated the body – precious awareness, precious body.
Yes, Lyndy. I love how ECTT brings more awareness to the body and we can feel more easily what we have been carrying. It gives us a marker of what it can feel like when we let go and open up, allowing us to make different choices.
Totally Rachel!
Yes Jinya, ETTC brings such an experience to the body that we begin to comprehend and absolutely know the energetics of how we are and live, and how that affects our health.
This is an important point Jinya that as we become aware of the points of tension and hardness in our bodies we have the opportunity to reflect on and take responsibility for those moments in our day where we reacted or hardened in situations.
Simon I notice that I harden my body whenever there is a situation that I feel I have to protect myself against, or power through etc.. whilst its infinitely better now compared to the past, there are still many layers of this. Whenever I have an Esoteric Connective Tissue Session that hardness drops away and it always amazes me the quality of tenderness I feel inside and how even the slightest hardening hurts my body and is abusive to not only myself but everyone else.
Well said Doug. When we harden it actually does the opposite of protecting our body – we end up feeling much more hurt on the inside because we are dimming the connection with ourselves!
Agreed, the harder we are the less we truly feel, I have known this well in the past, the freer my connective tissue is the more I feel and it is so freeing to now know, feel, and choose to maintain a more sensitive, tender and loving way of being. Even the slightest tension is now so obvious and much more easily released along with the understanding of what caused it in the first place being more readily accessible.
Doug, you share a common fact of life – in which so many of us will harden or put up walls to protect ourselves from the what if.
We are almost programmed to be on the defensive, But one must only look at the state of play, the wars we fight, the political games we witness, the power and money dominating methods of business, the corruption and lies across the world, the poverty and extreme class distinctions. One look would send us into this protection – whilst we are the very species that have allowed this in the first place. And building a wall will add to what is already there that stops us from being us. But letting down our guards, allowing more love and openness and truth no matter what, well that is what the world truly needs to see more of, so that what is reflected to others is love instead of a guard. We are sitting on gold here. And it all starts with a choice.
Definitely Doug, this is something I’ve really noticed in myself – when I begin to let my guard down and become less protected and more still, every time there’s an instance where I contract I feel it so much more than I did previously. This awareness is a gift, not a burden, because I’d much rather live knowing exactly what I allow into my body than leave it astray in the world, subject to any abuse or poison.
Absolutely true Susie and Doug; hardening does the opposite of protecting us, which is a huge revelation in itself. It is love, understanding and knowing our true sensitive nature that will protect us.
Thank you Simon a very comprehensive explanation not only of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy ( a truly incredible healing modality) but of why men become so hard and aggressive in the first place. What a huge disservice we do to men, wanting them to be tough and all conquering. We need to truly ponder on what it is that we are really asking of and wanting from men that makes them compromise their bodies to this extent? What ever it is, it is clearly not working, if we look at the rates of domestic violence (as well as the rise in prostate cancer, heart disease and suicide). In an environment where we should be experiencing the greatest intimacy, safety and love, we are finding more and more aggression, it doesn’t seem to fit in with the 21st Century. There is a whole culture here that needs un-ravelling, because underneath the macho armour plating are some exquisitely gorgeous, tender, precious, delicious men wanting to express all of who they are and when they do, the health, vitality, fun and love just comes pouring out. I don’t need the big muscles and tough guy persona, I just want the real precious man and I thank all those men like yourself Simon, who are choosing to feel, honour and express their true natures for the benefit of all mankind.
Here Here Rowena, let’s put the call out as women and really appreciate those men who are willing to dare to live from their tenderness and sensitivity.
What I am finding that is more immense than I realised is that there are so many ways to relate to our bodies, as being expressed in comments here, from the physical right through to the energetic and from the very personal to being about all of humanity. All deeply profound and inspiring.
True Simon, such an expansion on the ways we relate to our bodies makes living feel so much richer and more meaningful. The expansion of the connective tissue in our bodies reflecting the expansion and connection that is possible between each of us, humanity, our world and the universe as a whole. All connected.
The support for humanity of Esoteric Healing Modalities and espcially esoteric connective tissue therapy is amazing and so needed by the world today, complementing conventional medicine all the way and offers truths, choices and responsibility to us all. A great article showing another way to live with out the hardness in our bodies and connecting to the love we innately are. Beautiful Simon thank you.
ECTT is one of the most gentle, subtle and powerful healing modalities I have ever experienced. It helps us become aware of the extent of hardness we carry and move with in our bodies all of the day, and at the same time helps it to release and dissolve. Once the body has felt this deeper level of surrender and openness, it has the choice to hold that, or bring back in the hardness that was there before. But the flow and ease, and lightness of being is so lovely that it becomes more and more the choice we would make.
Thank you Simon, this is a great blog representing that what is going on in so many men’s bodies. And has been and sometimes still is this way in my body, but with connection with tenderness and sensitivity, it breaks it all up and then I am free to let everybody in.
And not just in men’s bodies Benkt! Many women have also hardened their bodies during their lifetime but as I have experienced it is never too late to change and develop the re-connection with tenderness and sensitivity which is innate in us all once we allow and accept it.
Benkt I feel to just suggest that maybe women over many lifetimes have had a hand to play in this apparent ‘hardening’ of mens’ bodies – and it seems to me that this may have come as a result of ‘pictures’ held in the mind of women as to how not only the men in their lives should appear to be like, i.e. strong, courageous, protective, the all-provider, and fixer of all that needs to be fixed – but maybe the womenfolk have had an equal part in bringing up their small boys to be ‘men’ , even the ‘man of the house’ and all that entails as the ‘do-er’ when in many instances the partner has no longer been there as the expected and needed support. It seems to me we have now been shown there is another way to be – all of us – not just the menfolk. I thank God for Serge Benhayon for reminding us of the Ageless Wisdom Teachings, and The Way of The Livingness, bringing us back in re-connection with the innate love and tenderness that is innately who we are within.
Raising our boys to feel and express their hurts is one of the most loving things we can do as parents. Boys are naturally tender, sensitive and gentle but are very much up against a society that does not support these qualities but champions them to be tough.
We all react from time to time, some more than others and this blog takes it deeper for me to understand as to where the reaction comes from and with this understanding I am less likely to react, supporting me to observe another. Thank you Simon for sharing.
“Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies.” Perhaps if we as a society were more aware of what we do to our young boys when we promote this attitude for life we would think twice. This has a profound effect not just on boys, but also on how women and men interact and all our relationships, especially men between men. ECTT is a wonderful modality that supports all to come back to our natural tender and sensitive ways. To see men express from sweetness, understanding and sensitivity is truly beautiful.
Recognising the hardness we hold in our bodies is huge and ongoing. It is so interesting to be honest about this and very revealing to realise how much we react to and how much we are in reaction that then affects our perception of what is going on for us and how our relationships work. To realise that working on our connective tissue with the help and support of Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy could not only improve the health of our bodies but the health of our relationships is huge. To be healthy and vital affects everything in our lives especially our relationships.
Thank you Simon, I enjoyed revisiting your blog as I once again was aware of your beautiful expression as it offered to us all a wealth of wisdom and learning about the extent to which the connective tissue has to play throughout our entire bodies. Equally so, I value and appreciate reading the responses and comments that are a reflection of this innate wisdom.
What you present here is a completely different way to view and work with something that is on the increase. As Donna Harris has shared in her comment Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy absolutely deals with the core issues and is not a band aid affect. This alone is incredible as how many therapies, treatments, counselling etc is out there that doesn’t even get to or deal with the core issue .. even after years? Many. How ECTT does this is also completely unimposing on the person.
In my experience of receiving ECTT Vicky, I can feel small but significant adjustments being made in my body – little ‘popping’ sensations that tell me how effective the modality is. We are literally made of connective tissue and to have such a gentle modality to honour and nurture it reflects the loving support that our bodies deserve.
The more I experience Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy the more I become aware of how I have been bracing myself to make any movement. It is a holding in order to get it done or follow through. This contrast has helped me to make choices in how I move, speak, and even lie down in bed, where I can feel myself still holding. This seems ridiculous, and it is, but as you have pointed put Simon, this hardness and protection is built up for many years. However, this gentle and non invasive and all encompassing therapy works to release this hold and the body expands. After a Session I feel restored to myself, body, mind and soul, gentle and flowing, aligned and moving easily, my true self, not a body living trapped in old patterns.
Thank you Simon for this great blog that has sparked such excellent comments and conversations about such a great subject. I feel the world crying out for this modality and really will play a serious part in everyones wellbeing.
I love learning about the body in a more practical and easy to understand way. I have to admit I didn’t even know what connective tissue was until Universal Medicine came along with ECTT. It’s weird that something so vital to our bodies mechanics is not so well known or cared for.
Me neither – I had no idea that connective tissue was such a vital and all encompassing part of our biology, or that it could influence so much of the operation of the rest of our bodily functions and in particular the hardness that Simon is referring to in his article.
Simon I love the way you have explained what happens in ECTT when hurts are felt. I cannot speak for men but for myself hardness comes from me wanting to protect my hurts – Women have also been perpetrators of Domestic Violence to their gentle men partners and to their children. It all comes back to dealing with our hurts and is one of the most important discussions in today’s world. ECTT is a modality that has the ability to transform this issue completely forever because it deals with the core issues and not just a bandaid effect.
Isn’t it great Helen to expand our understanding why our bodies feel the way they do and how our behaviour is affected by all our perceptions and choices in our lives.
I have loved coming back to this wonderfully informative blog today and once again have had my understanding of the major role of connective tissue in the body expanded some more. When I read; “the role assigned to connective tissue in modern medical science is of protection and support of other body tissue……… it is very sensitive to impending hurts”, clearly speaks of the utter importance of its incredibly supportive role. It has allowed me to feel even more deeply what unfolds in my body during a Connective Tissue Therapy session or when I am doing the exercises, but conversely what impact subjecting my body to harming actions has on it; two totally different feelings within my body. Thank you so much Simon for sharing this with us; it certainly deepens my understanding of the pain and discomfort my body had been in before being introduced to the healing modalities of Universal Medicine, and especially, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. For me this has been an absolute life changer.
Beautifully expressed Ingrid and I can feel the appreciation you have for this modality and others presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. What a blessing and a call to responsibility when we are presented with such truth about the intelligence of the body.
My experience with Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has been amazing. I have never experienced anything like it. In my first session, when I lay on the table I felt like I have bricks laying on my ovaries and within minutes I could feel a warm blood flow through my ovaries. This is a very powerful modality.
It shows how supportive the Universal Medicine therapies are Heidi to actually feel such hardness and yet feel that’s ok, that’s not me. We then allow this astonishingly powerful clearing within ourselves as you have shared, and also to be ok with it as a gradual process of increasing awareness and letting go.
Simon this brings a really clear understanding about our connective tissue and how it works for our body. This Esoteric healing modality allows us to let go, so we can feel and breath and allow ourselves space to simply be who we really are, and to feel this without the holding and tightness of things we have held onto inside using a restrictive pressure on ourselves. An amazing technique as are all the Esoteric Healing modalities brought to us by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Thank you.
Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships’. This sentence stayed with me. Thank you Simon, through this blog I have more aware of the purpose of connective tissue and how ECT modality supports us to let go of guards and protection. Consultations with Esoteric Healing Practitioners, has revealed the hardness I carry in my body, I’m slowly learning to release this.
It has also brought me into a deeper appreciation of my sensitivity and how developing this is key to releasing the hardness I carry in my body. Thank you.
I love how you have shared the responsibility of our choices here Simon, “the choice to be present with our bodies and to the constant signals they offer us about our posture, the quality of our movement and how we relate to people”. I used to believe that my body was just tense or hard and that was the way it was. Since working with Esoteric Healing Modalities I have realised that it is a choice and as I develop my awareness, I reveal more layers of hardness in my body that I can choose to hold on to or let go of. As you have said, posture, movement and how I am with people offers the moments and signs to check in and feel where my body is at.
Thank you Simone, it may be the deeper layers of surrender to love relates to the deeper tenderness of expansion in our connective tissue all the way into our organs and spinal column /brain.
I love the depth of your connection with this modality Simon. A wise person once said to me, ‘what you know well you articulate easily’ and I can feel this in your expression about ECCT. Thank you.
I love reading your description of Connective Tissue Simon, it is a fascinating subject and I believe there is so much potential within us all that we can realise through receiving connective tissue therapy and connective tissue exercises to release tension. It is brilliant that Serge Benhayon developed this modality as it can have a great impact on creating wellness in our bodies through the release of held tensions and trauma.
So much potential I agree Stephen and also for connective tissue exercises as you say, so people can practice and get the feel of their connective tissue in their body more clearly so it becomes a natural quality of movement in daily life.
I agree Stephen and Simon. I have found connective tissue exercises just as powerful as a CT session on the table. What I love about CTE is that through regular practise it develops a deeply connecting relationship with our body that can become part of our everyday movements.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy feels like the Silk Road throughout our bodies that is there for us to choose. A commitment to this choice supports the vehicle that holds the essence of us and of all being-ness.
wow Bernadette that is beautiful – ECTT is really going to revolutionize medicine! Who would not want to feel the silky-ness of their own love running through their bodies. Not only that, but it works very much on a physical level with pain management. I know people who live in pain every day because their doctors have all but given up, not that they don’t care, but they are lost for answers. The modality needs to be on TV, Radio and in the forefront of the World Medicine.
I love your description of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, in your expression here Bernadette – “….feels like the Silk Road throughout our bodies….” – one can really sense that.
Yes wow truly groundbreaking Bernadette. To have a modality like ECCT that supports our bodies to be able not just to function in life but allow our essence, our soul to really come through is much needed.
I love to know my body as a vehicle of expression of the all that the universe holds; that what makes up my body at smaller than a cellular level, is representative of what makes up the whole universe! How amazing is that!
Simon the detail you share of how our bodies harden is fascinating. Society is starting to talk more and more about men not thinking being rough and tough is the way, yet what you deliver shares exactly what is needed for us to understand the impacts of such behaviour and how our bodies reject it through complications in our organs and connective tissue. The Esoteric Connective Tissue modality is something that truly allows my body to surrender and let go of any guards or tension I might be harbouring – and the importance of that and difference I feel in my body is enormous. We have an opportunity to truly understand what we do to cap and harm our bodies here, and a choice to start to heal this.
So much comes back to our bodies, as they hold the secret to all the choices we make and why we behave the way we do. It takes the mystery away, the need to rely purely on what others tell us, plus brings the power back to every person to make more loving choices.
Wow, Simon your description of ECTT sums it up perfectly. My personal experiences with this modality has allowed me to appreciate the delicateness that is inside me.
I agree Jade, it is my favourite modality – the connection and tenderness I feel within myself is expressed with everyone I am with. My body always feels so expanded with sessions and I get to see that all the behaviours are not me – I am Divine.
I too have had this experience and the difference in my body is unrecognisable, amazing really AMAZING.
There is nothing quite like Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy (ECTT). It is so silky smooth to experience, like you are being held in God’s arms and allowed to gently rest, regather yourself and then feel and see things how the truly are… all this from one ECTT session – is it not absolutely incredible and miraculous that this is even possible via an everyday treatment accessible to anyone?
Dean you have described the feeling so well of CCT session, it really is “like being held in Gods arms and allowed to gently rest, regather yourself and feel and see things how they truly are”. It is sure a miraculous therapy and we are very fortunate to have it available in our everyday life as a modality.
I agree Dean, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is exactly as you describe it. I feel it also awakens loudly the responsibility we have to love and honour our bodies as the exquisiteness of what can be felt means we can no longer deny the miraculousness of the body we live and breathe and act in.
I totally feel what you mean Jeanette. There is something there inside us, in our bodies, to love and honour deeply. If we listen quietly enough we can hear it calling us.
When put like that Dean, yes it is quite miraculous and it is available as an everyday treatment. There is no other modality on earth that restores the exquisite feeling of tenderness and preciousness to us, definitely a modality that God has a hand in every time!
An ECTT is like being held in God’s arms and it’s amazing that this is now available all across the world, thanks to Universal Medicine.
Beautifully said Kathryn. Having an ETTC session is exactly like being held in God’s arms – our natural state of being.
Our body’s connective tissue is amazing at what is does, it is a thin membrane that covers all of the stuff inside of us to keep it from sticking to the other stuff next to it. Problems with your left foot can cause problems with your right shoulder. The whole body is a real symbiotic relationship. We could say the way we are in the world is the same, we are all parts of the whole and what we do can affect others in far reaching ways.
So true sjmatsonuk, we are as interconnected on the inside as we are with each other.
As is above so is below, there is so much natural order and support if only we connect to who we truly are.
Great point sjmatsonuk. Our relationships with each other is the connective tissue of society.
That is a really lovely way of seeing it.
I love that what you have described here sjmatsonuk is a hologram, where every part of everything is the same as the whole. Where an issue in your foot can cause problems with your shoulder, so can a single member of our family create a reaction in the rest of the members, so can an outbreak of war in one region of the world affect all of the others. We are all truly and beautifully symbiotic, and definitely affect one another in far reaching ways that we are still only beginning to understand fully.
Naren, it is great the way you have followed on from sjmatsonuk, as it resonates when we can relate everyday things, from problems in our body, reaction of family members creating tension, to seeing the bigger picture of events happening in the rest of the world. Knowing that everything we do affects everyone else is a big wake up call!
Our affect on everyone is one of the biggest for all of us to not only realise, but to put into action (of course not forgetting that we are a part of everyone!)
This is a great description of connective tissue sjmatsonuk drawing on the understanding of ‘connection’ and relating it to relationships and all of us coming from oneness. It reminded me of Kate Greenaway’s description of connective tissue being a bridge between the physical and the energetic. It also refreshes my developing understanding of how our bodies reflect to us so much more than physical function.
I love this description of the connective tissue and helps to illustrate that all parts of us are indeed connected which leads me to reflect on the importance of honouring the whole of the body when we move and when we exercise. To have a deep connection with our body so that when we stretch or strengthen one area we don’t tense another part.
Yes Donna, it really is important to not overdo exercise, as that is only going to cause a contraction of the muscles and connective tissue as it hardens to cope with the strain. The more we can make exercise flowing the more we can align with the qualities that we have in the structure of our connective tissue and experience a light and fluid body. Exercise in this regard becomes about much more than just how we look and much more closely related to how we feel.
. . . and when we feel great we usually look good! Nothing is unconnected.
Very true Lyndy, we have got it back to front, we seeking looking good but in fact if we feel good then the look arises from the feelings. Simple yet beautiful.
True Donna, all parts of our body are connected to each other via this medium ‘connective tissue’. And whilst ‘science’ struggles to understand interconnectedness at a cosmic level, it’s obvious to me that the human body is a microcosm of the universe whereby all things are connected through some form or medium for interconnectedness (some call dark matter) and that there is nothing that we can be or do that doesn’t automatically affect everything else around us, simply because we are irrefutably and unstoppably an integral part of the whole universe all the time…
Yay Dean!
A great point Donna and one to watch as this is a very important part and something I can certainly relate to. As can I with the comments below regarding connection to yourself, and then your looks reflect what you feel, rather than just focusing on the outside, which our society has done very well with keeping the focus on the outside and over looking the inside connection.
Also Donna, having a relationship with our connective tissue helps to minimise the impact of exercise by allowing its force to be distributed more harmoniously through our bodies. It facilitates more effective and efficient building of strength with less energy drain.
I love your expansion of this explanation. No part of our body lives in isolation of any other part and none of us live in isolation of every other person. This shows the fallacy of thinking we can abuse any part of us and not have it affect every aspect of our body and life, or be irresponsible in an area of our life and for it to not affect every person around us. It also shows the illusion of imagining that we can better our own life and remain unaffected by the suffering of others even when they are at the opposite end of the globe. Our connective tissue and its response to the external and within our body is a great example that all of life is fundamentally connected.
You have beautifully furthered this lovely blog Golnaz.
Yes I agree Golnaz, all of life is fundamentally connected and there is not one part of ourselves that we can hurt that does not hurt the whole, both personally and collectively. When we truly wake up to this fact, that everything we do matters, matters to us and matters to our friends, families and neighbours, we will then enable ourselves to address our deep seated ills by making choices that consider the whole, not favour a part or individual.
It is such an illusion to think we are separate from the all and our connective tissue just reflects how our bodies are so supported and connected to not only all its organs but the all.
And because there is this symbiotic relationship with all parts of our body, it highlights for me how when we have a medical condition, removing the affected tissue or removing say a tumour is only a part of the healing process … the whole body is affected by it.
Such pearls of wisdom here in everyone commenting on Simon’s blog. It’s amazing how we all know it, but often fail to live with consideration of our whole bodies. Thank you for the repeated message that EVERYTHING is connected.
Yes, we are all so interconnected. I was driving, as I do everyday, and I could feel I was a little pushy with the car in front. I addressed this as I clocked this in myself and as the car turned into park in their drive way I thought of a colleague who also lived in that area.
How would I feel if it was my colleague who stepped out of the car had I been as pushy as the frustration wanted to be – embarrassed? apologetic? most certainly. But how I am with one person is how I am with everyone and my driving is a great place to practice equality and love.
I love this metaphor Karin, why not consider living in a quality with others that is as harmonious as our connective tissue after a ECTT session.
Karin I have had a similar realisation after following a car wishing they would hurry up only to pass and see an elderly couple driving in accordance to what feels right for them… A stop moment to reflect if I was driving and honouring myself in the same way!
So true sjmatson, our body parts are wrapped in layer upon layer of fine tissue, a bit like ‘cling film’, which ties everything together and allows all our muscles, bone, ligaments, blood vessels and nerves to slide and glide over one another when we move. Boy do we know it when one part gets all sticky and just how much that compromises the rest of our body. And this is a great analogy of how when just one person fall sick, that it affects us all. Our body parts don’t work in isolation and neither do we, as each person is a valuable component within the body of humanity, each with a beautiful and unique expression that supports the whole of humanity to slide and glide as one.
I love what you have said Rowena about the silky ‘slide and glide’ relationship of body organs, connective tissue, and also the way we as people can have this kind of relationship with each other. As you say, nothing works in isolation and as soon as one component goes out of kilter, the rest are affected and either hold their integrity or adjust to the malady.
Oh and yes Rowena, I meant to say how authentic your description of connective tissue felt – connective tissue as ‘cling film’ wrap. Sometimes the connective tissue gets too sticky and at other times it gets too dry, like tissue paper. It’s condition tell us much about the way we have been living!
Great analogy Steve! Each part of the body does affect all the other parts and as a one humanity we are no different. What is happening in the Middle East for example is affecting everyone around the world, not just physically, but in our thoughts and feelings and reactions or responses – we have to live in the quality of what is being generated. On another level how I am when I walk into work affects all those I come into contact with, which then affects how they are with their families at home, who then in turn walk into work the next day and affect all those they come into contact with. We cannot escape the fact that we are all connected and it is irresponsible to think that we are not!
What you describe in detail Michelle is so important – everything what we touch, say, do has an impact on other people and on our environment – there are no boundaries.
Great analogy sjmatsonuk. thereby our responsibility is far greater than just paying our bills, mortgages and voting.
Our responsibility lies in every moment we make.
What’s shared here about the interconnectedness of everything makes so much sense, and how we can come to appreciate and understand this in very ‘real’ ways via our own bodies.
I can’t help but be reminded of the ‘hardening up’ image for men in particular and the ensuing physique that is so often sought (though women pursue this with equal or more vigour at times also…). We are offered a deep sense of responsibility here in this article to honour the interconnectedness within and without, and how affecting one part, affects ‘the whole’.
If I push my body beyond its natural limits, if I harden its form deliberately without due reason (i.e. the need for strength for one’s work or a sensible level of fitness for everyday living), just how am I affecting the whole?
As a singing teacher, at times I see men come for voice coaching who simply cannot employ the muscles designed to support a full and natural breath, for example (the diaphragm, lower abdominal muscles..) – because they have hardened and sculpted their bodies here (‘the abs’) to the point that they simply cannot move these muscles with natural function. The breath is thus severely restricted, shallow (with much effort and little ‘result’/capacity), effectively forced to be in what we would call an anxious breathing state…
What impact does this have on the rest of the body, the being, and this man’s behaviour as a whole, if he cannot even breathe in a way that offers him the opportunity to be centred and calm?
Brilliant observation to have brought to us Victoria re the singing lessons and the effect that men hardening their ‘abs’ has on their ability to freely breathe. This would affect everything that happens in the body – not only just the basic intake of oxygen and letting out of carbon di-oxide, but the whole nature of the body’s rhythm. Your word ‘sculpted’ is a great word to use in regards to what we do with our bodies, how we distort this work of art with false and damaging ideals and beliefs – all designed and used to cover and protect the carried hurts within.
Absolutely Lyndy. There are so many ‘ideal images and forms’ that we chase in regards to our physique and its appearance… How did we stray so far from caring for ourselves, and even natural functions like breathing, first and foremost?
Thank God for therapies such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy which reacquaint us with our bodies again and the way they – and we – can naturally function…
ECTT is an amazing modality. It’s so subtle yet so powerful. In it I’ve felt the tension and protection I live by and how I hold onto to that and don’t let go or surrender to my own tender loveliness. I was really surprised – my head that can’t actually feel, had a different version of how I live! So just by feeling this in my body allows me to choose who I truly am more and not lie so much to myself!
It was quite a realisation that my mind didn’t actually run the show like I thought it did! It still tries and I still fall for it, but when I started to realise that my body actually knows more about how to live than my mind, it was a bit of a shock. You are completely spot on though, Karin, feeling the wisdom of my body and living from it, has shown just how much of a lie I had been living.
Karin that is gorgeous what you have said. The one thing you can’t do when you truly feel who you are is lie to yourself!
Karin, ECTT is amazing it really exposes our body. I have noticed as I drop to a deeper level of stillness, the hardness and tension start to come up. I harden my body as a protection and it is so revealing during and after a ECTT session. This hardening in my body is reflected in some areas of my life, something I am working on to eliminate and bring tenderness too.
This is a great comment Karin and so true. We simply can’t lie to ourselves when we feel who we truly are. And yes, the CTT is a profoundly beautiful modality, that allows us to feel the deep tension we can hold in our bodies, and then gives us the opportunity to surrender and let go, leaving the body more supple and fluid as a result. Gorgeous.
I can really relate to what you are saying here Karin, my head had been supporting me to live in illusion for many years before I discovered ECTT and other esoteric modalities and learnt to reconnect with my body and feel a very different me deep within the hard exterior my head had convinced me I was.
It really is quite shocking really to know you have lived in illusion and been lying to yourself but how amazing to be able to see that and then start to make changes back to what we know to be true in this moment.
Oh yes Karin; our bodies close up and harden with a life lived restricted. When I have had ECTT I feel free in my body like I have not felt since I was a child. I feel expanded it my thoughts and have a positive attitude. There is no fountain of youth you have to address your issues, but ECCT can help heaps.
Indeed Bernard there is a looseness and freeness to the body when the connective tissue is in its natural flow and harmony so reminiscent of childhood. It reminds us of how we had a natural connection to our essence as children but separated from it.
Ahhhh SIMON I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!!! You describe hardness to the ‘T’ and break it down perfectly. Our bodies are incredible multi-faceted instruments. Treated well all parts are sure to operate in harmony. Learning about hardness and that there is a way to live less protected in our bodies through the support of true esoteric healing, needs to be written about MORE and MORE.
Simon, you offer with clarity and authority a way forward to the current crisis that is within our communities everywhere. Our men folk are suffering (and by extension all of us) from expectations that are not real, nor realistic. Carrying hardness and tension in our bodies that gets reflected in everything we do is not a way to live harmoniously on our planet.
Beautifully and simply put Jennifer. It is impossible to live in harmony with ourselves and others when we think of hardness in out bodies as normal. This must be broken down on all levels including our ideals and beliefs of what life is about that allows such hardness to be justified and even championed.
We can do no harm when we re-connect to the preciousness we all innately are. The picture that came to me just now was that when we do feel that re-connection (as can often be felt during an ECTT session) we are back to the innocence and vulnerability we are as babies. Absolutely harm-less.
Today I discovered how much it hurts when I am hard, angry or frustrated and put that onto somebody. As my day went along, I felt back into the incident that happened in the morning and felt how I don’t love myself. I than asked myself ‘what is it that you don’t love about yourself?’. In tears I answered: the hardness, the frustration, I hate it. In a conversation later somebody pointed out that I am actually telling myself off for being hard or frustrated. Which is true. I am starting to understand that domestic violence can exist and is on the rise because as men we’re not allowing ourselves to express tenderly and in this setting ourselves up for rejection, hardness, agression, abuse, etc. Thank you ECTT for bringing back to me the trust that I am NOT that hardness. That it is okay to feel it. ECTT supported me (as the other modalities taught by Universal Medicine) to let go of the layers and layers of hardness and protection that I had built into my system.
It’s beautiful to hear from a man who has taken off the suit of armour and is living his natural, tenderness and sensitive way. Thank you Simon. The power of ECTT cannot be over-estimated.
I like how you describe the physiological changes that occur when we have to toughen up and become hard in our bodies. It is our responsibility as adults to model sensitivity and tenderness towards one another and ourselves so our society nurtures a new norm. The stats presented here are astounding and it is our responsibility to model a more loving way to live.
Good point Elodie – there is more responsibility to be taken on both sides.
This blog really brings it home how the hardening of our young boys then shapes how they will be out there in the world; interacting with family, friends and work colleagues. Let’s face it, if self abuse and hardening is all a man knows, then being verbally abusive and then physically abusing isn’t too far of a stretch. It’s therapies like ECTT which are able to highlight how thoughts, hurts and the abuse from others plays out in the body – it gives the opportunity to feel what it would be like to live without all of the hard protective layers.
I attended a talk yesterday about Domestic Abuse and the conservative stats are that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse in their lives. I was with a class of 15 children horrified by the fact that by statistics at least 3 of them will suffer this. It simply does not make any sense that we end up so so so far from our natural expression with, love for and connection to, each other – all borne from our breaking away from that quality of relationship with ourselves. It is one of those shake down moments. OK hear the facts of where we are at and then make the next choice – developing loving care and responsibility for myself by choosing to be present and listening to my body and how everything is felt.
Working with children I get to see daily the tenderness that men are (in boys) and am privileged enough to know many men who are choosing to live that – the ripple effects are incredible, alongside women too releasing their guards to complement and support men.
This really is key point about how our relationship with our self affects all others. “…developing loving care and responsibility for myself by choosing to be present and listening to my body and how everything is felt.” then naturally becomes care and responsibility for all.
I feel it’s important to note that while the vast majority of Domestic Violence sits with a Man abusing a Woman, we as Women also have a responsibility to honour ourselves and say no. Men have been taught to be tough and exercise their power, whilst Women have been taught to be submissive and forgiving. Both sexes have equal amounts of re-learning/re-awakening to do. Respect for one another is absolutely key to bringing back harmony among relationships. We are all walking around hard as rocks. It is all of our responsibility to make a change. Women need to appreciate that Men are as sensitive as Women, and Men need to appreciate that about themselves and they too are equally deserving of nothing less than love. Women can offer this reflection by honouring their own fragility and also accepting that they do not deserve anything less than love.
A great point Elodie. We all, men and women, have a part we play in any scenario. Love and honouring of ourself, as well as the other person is key, and recognising that we are all at heart sensitive, tender, deserving of love. I find knowing that we are all very likely to have at some point been hurt by life and some of us are struggling to deal with those hurts, has brought great understanding. And it is sure a blessing having Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy as such a powerful therapy to help clear the resulting hardness held in the body, so that the hurts can be healed more easily.
Thanks Simon for the lesson on the physiology of connective tissue and how this is affected when we are rough and tough. ECTT is an amazing modality in allowing us to let go of the hardening/tension and allow the body to flow in a more harmonious way. In this harmonious way there would be no DV.
Such an awesome blog Simon. Very inspiring. The level of tenderness and surrender available to us through ECTT is so incredibly healing. Allowing us to feel the way the body can naturally move in a flow from one activity to the next. Just gorgeous.
I for one, had NO IDEA how much tension I held in my body until I started receiving Esoteric Body work, with Connective Tissue Therapy being one of the many modalities. There were and still are parts of my body I couldn’t even feel. That is how shut down I was. I’m now far more aware of my body and where I’m holding the tension. Where I’m at now is being able to acknowledge that there is something dangling below my head. How I treat it, is a huge work in progress.
Thanks Simon, for a the different angle you’ve offered around domestic violence. I really love the way you so clearly describe how the connective tissue wraps around every part of our internal make up. I had no idea how much ‘ground’ for lack of a better word, it covered. Knowing this gives me a visual understanding of how every move I make, my connective tissue comes with me. Every time I allow tension in my body the tissue also becomes tense. The body is fascinating!
Yes Elodie, me too. Simon’s article has woken a visual understanding of connective tissue and how simple and powerful it is to ‘read’.
As you say Elodie, the body is indeed “fascinating”. Understanding the importance of connective tissue in the body and the extent of its reach, explains why a modality that can restore our connective tissue to its natural state has such profound effects on the body.
This has me wonder about the fact that whilst people get older they become more rigid in their body and less flexible in their movements – accepted as just the way life unfolds – and the likelihood that it is the persistent hardening in protection throughout life taking its toll. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is such a God send – it appears that absolutely the whole of humanity could do with this amazing treatment.
Great point Golnaz. It is assumed and accepted that as we age our movements become more difficult. Just imagine if all aged care facilitates were to offer ECTT how much more mobile and happier the residents would be.
As young children we are all very sensitive – girls and boys alike – but what I’ve seen happen in several young boys around the age of 4 when they go to kindy is a toughening up – they no longer cry when hurt. Clearly something happens and they are told not to cry, or they see what is said to other kids when they cry…whatever it is, there comes with this idea of not crying, a tension and a hardening, and with that they start to shut down their sensitivity.
Receiving ECTT could be best described as reconnecting to the Love we know we come from. How far we allow ourselves to surrender to our Love or fight our Love is up to us. But it is giving us the experience of being held by something much grander than we can imagine. We can only feel it. Simply WONDERFUL, thank you for having this modality once again available here on earth.
Simon I love how you are describing paying attention to our bodies in each moment, and choosing to do so, as part of honouring ourselves as the delicate beings we are. In order to honour our bodies, and for them to function optimally, we do need to listen to them. They are communicating to us constantly, as we are indeed not separate as mind and body. Philosophical arguments aside, we are one body that needs caring for and consideration in each moment of every day.
Reading this blog Simon really brings it home how much hardness we hold in our bodies and how much of that hardness we start to believe is our natural way without questioning or realising our bodies are not designed to move in such a restricted manner. It does make me wonder about all the abuse and trauma we accept and take on board, and what it is doing to our bodies and how that then is altering how we are in the world.
With three sons I have watched how the world is set up to build them away, through childhood and education, from their natural qualities of tenderness and sensitivity. They have to actively choose to hold these qualities against the statistical norms ‘out there’, which is absolutely possible but not supported by life as it is currently set up. The impact of this is laid out succinctly in this article and affects us all.
I much appreciate your explanation of the role of connective tissue generally within the body and how it is the first in line to be impacted by hurts and emotions.
I agree Cathy I just re-read the explanation of the role of the connective tissue and it helped me understand the pain in my foot more clearly. X-rays and medical support have not been able to uncover why it is swollen and quite painful but understanding that there is an emotional hurt makes sense as the pain feels very deep and very old and there is a slight bruising even though I have not had any sort of physical injury.
There’s no doubt in my experience that Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy allows one to feel the hardness in their body once hopping off the table; you get to feel closer to your natural sensitive self. So many men are living with a false belief of having to be ‘hard’ or ‘tough’ in order to be manly, which is the direct opposite to their very nature (no matter how tall or muscular one is or isn’t, or what a man does for work etc).
Oliver very true, it’s for me still an automatic pattern that if I sense some danger, conflict or something I don’t want to feel, I harden my body. Yet the resulting pain of disconnection et al is more painful than what I was avoiding, yet so familiar as the way it’s always been. With Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy that supports me to connect back to the tender natural me – completely opposite to the “hard” and “tough” image of being a Man I grew up with.
I agree Gill it can be difficult to convey what is so deeply felt with receiving or giving Connective Tissue Therapy. It is a true offering to humanity in its capacity to bring true healing.
Great description Simon of Esoteric Connective Therapy. I have been seeing Kate Greenaway at the Universal Medicine clinic in Goonellabah and found connective tissue therapy to be deeply supportive and nurturing.
Re-reading this gorgeous blog is such a great experience Simon. It is like a map for me about exactly what happens in the body when either ourselves or our bodies are ‘insulted’! I have experienced this for myself directly with having CTT sessions, but this is one of the best descriptions of the detail of what is going on and so supportively supplements the experience one has in the body. It is actually all so simple, so simple that the mind has not even thought to go there – as in, why isn’t this a widespread modality across the world yet? It is clear to see that the emotions play a very destructive part in our lives, not only in ill-health but even to the point of death from domestic violence.
How true Gill. The ‘feeling’ in the body from having a Connective Tissue session is indescribable. That sense of harmony and well-being, the fact that the body can feel that good, cannot be put into words. At the finger-tips of each man, woman and child is the opportunity to re-enter the realm to at least taste what it is like to be in a harmonious body again . . . and then begin to make the loving choices that voluntarily establish that.
It can be quite confronting in the beginning to feel the level of hardness we can carry in our bodies – in the muscles, connective tissue and organs too! So often we walk around with this armour of hardness and are not even aware of it! I have found that one area of my body that stands out for me (as in where I tend to carry much hardness) is in my shoulders and in the front of my shoulders. And when I ask myself to fully relax, this is when I realise that they are still sitting braced, as if waiting for a strike or something to be ready for. On realising this, it has been amazing to practise letting go, surrendering to a more tender and delicate way of being, which essentially is our natural state of being, only most of us do not choose to walk around in life like that, for various reasons. Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality to support us to return to a more tender connection with the body and to let go of this tension and hardness that we carry. Thank you Simon for your sharing!
Reading this article was like mapping my body and the wisdom with which it communicates with me. I felt the connective tissue as a complete indicator of how I am holding myself and living. The front of my shoulders are like beacons and I can feel that I spend a lot of time pulled in in this area in various degrees of protection. Surrender as a word is key – letting go and realising that it is in this pulling back from life that all the hurts can perpetuate. Thank you Henrietta and Simon.
Henrietta I agree, for me its my shoulders and chest that I feel a tightness and hardness in. Connective Tissue Therapy is a great support in helping to let this go.
Hi Henrietta thanks for your comment. ECTT indeed allows us the opportunity to feel a more delicate and natural flow in our bodies, which can expose just how we have been holding them in a certain way for a while!
I am glad I read this again Simon, I can really feel in my own body your description of the connective tissue hardening and forming an armour, and that this armour does not release as it should and I am holding a constant tension in my body. The irony is this hardness does nothing to protect me and like you wrote “the whole sensitivity of our awareness to our world becomes distorted and dulled,” Every man should value the times when this tension drops away, to feel what it is like to live naturally without hardness.
Your blog Simon offers a deeper understanding of just how tender men are and how their tenderness is not often honoured from a very young age and as a result the direct affects this has on the body. Hopefully as there are more men out there reflecting what it is to be a true man, a man who is open, vulnerable and tender we will start to see the rough and tough image of a man become a thing of the past. Modalities such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy lead the way with allowing us to feel a deeper connection to ourselves and support us return back to our innate loveliness.
The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy helps us to feel what’s happening in our bodies and the more we can respond by taking more care, being more tender with ourselves, the more we can feel and our awareness of everything that’s going on deepens.
Domestic violence is going on everyday and everywhere. Its real and it hurts us ALL.
I just received an email sharing the trauma of being a witness to a gun crime where a human life was taken.
Yes, I hear it on the news and gun laws need to change but what a Wake up Call when you get it in your inbox and you know them.
How does the person get over that?
How on earth does our body cope with that?
What about all the others involved?
How will the community react?
What about the connective tissue of the person who pulled the trigger?
What can we as a society do to stop this?
Simon talks extensively and clearly here in this profound post about Connective Tissue so imagine at a deep tissue level what is going on and this is just one case.
Our world needs change and it needs it now. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who clearly has the answers.
Bina, your post reminds us that every day we are involved in so many things that deeply hurt and affect us. You ask how do we get over these things? The truth is we try and get over them by burying the hurt and pain deeply within us so that we do not feel it. We will do anything to avoid feeling that hurt. I know this because I have done it. Eventually though we have to come to the realization that it is more painful to bury the hurt than it is to bring it to the light of day and do something about it.
Very true Elizabeth. We witness huge amounts of abuse, pain, suffering, hurt, bullying and so forth every day, and sometimes experience it ourselves, and usually the way we deal with this is through burying it and not saying a word. What is amazing about Universal Medicine is that it offers treatments that can support with these things; Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy being one of them!
I just read another awesome blog on the subject of hurt … here are the first few lines:
What would it mean to not be dominated by hurt? What would it feel like to not react when abused, blamed or targetted in some way? What would it feel like to give power back to love?
This is a great read… very inspiring.
https://wordsonsergebenhayon.wordpress.com/2015/11/17/giving-power-back-to-love-making-the-choice-to-not-be-dominated-by-hurt/comment-page-1/#comment-64505
Simon, you are quite right. If we tell boys to be more like machines, then why do we wonder that they become really good at being insensitive? After all, they are very sensitive and therefore will work hard at being as insensitive as possible.
It’s true – if we as a society ask men to be rough and tough with themselves then it’s no surprise that this can extend into how they are with others.
It is a great service to present the details of how the connective tissue works – thanks for that. I can now go into my day and experience this in my body – the hardening and the release during ECTT sessions or in any other loving moment and movement.
‘The sensitivity I reclaimed meant listening to my body and exploring a totally different relationship with it to avoid any insult I was causing my body through intense, forceful or jarring exercise or stretching.’
Seeing the word ‘insult’ here highlights the madness of the patterns we slip into and the choices we make that are disdainful and rude to our bodies. What is awesome about this article is the rolling out of the devastating impact of this on our lives, culminating, in this case, in a social situation where domestic violence is rife.
Thanks Simon, it make so much sense that our connective tissue takes on our openness and/or our protection to the world. Like you I have found the ECTT very profound in what it releases.
Simon Voysey this is a brilliant article filled with clarity, tenderness and power as you share and link your observations regarding abuse, hardening and the amazing benefits of Connective Tissue Therapy.
I will certainly be re-visiting this blog several times as there is much to ponder upon.
Thank you!
This is a great article outlining the conditions that society put on boys when young. who then grow to be men with all the hurts still playing out in their body, and act out instead of being the tender loving man they are are born to be.
Thank you Simon for a great blog and explaining what CTT is all about. I really love receiving it as I feel it has a harmonising effect on my whole body, like joining up all the dots. I have it as part of my daily rhythm.
“Emotional reaction means living in dysfunction” – is a line that stood out for me this morning Simon as a reminder that whenever we choose to ‘re-act’ in lieu of ‘responding’ we are setting ourselves up for so many unhealthy factors occurring in our body – one of which now I see from reading your awesome blog, has our connective tissue contract and harden. Does the average person have an understanding of the science of our bodies as you are sharing here – I dare say possibly not so, but with the sharing of blogs such as this, more and more the opportunity for all to be informed will be magnified. Thank you.
When I read about domestic violence, I automatically think it’s the guy who is being physically aggressive but there are a lot of cases of women who are using violence against their partners – I wonder how many men actually report these incidences.
Any man or woman who is being abusive to another is being equally abusive to themselves. To me this is where it needs to be self reported, acknowledged and lovingly dealt with. Only this will change the alarmingly high rates of domestic violence.
I just had to re read the part about Connective tissue and how it works in the body. This is an awesome sharing Simon so thank you very much.
What I realise with a jolt is that because I held onto my hurts as a child, I went into protection, therefore my connective tissue hardenned and that explains why I would always feel so tense, even when I thought I was relaxed. My Connective Tissue was obviously so hardened that it could not release and eventually I just thought that was me and “normal”. It is such a beautiful thing to understand and see how it all works. I want to jump for joy because I know I have let go of a lot of that tension and hardness but I can still feel areas in my body, for instance my shoulders and forearms where I still protect, try to control and hold on to, to some degree. I think I may just have to arrange another Esoteric Connective Tissue Session soon.
Rosie, this sharing brought an amazing expansion in my heart. We are all so connected, this I am still deeply learning and more and more appreciating.
Love what you’ve shared Rosie. Becoming aware of what happens in our bodies on a physical level; in this case that our connective tissue hardens in effort to ‘protect us’ from what’s happening in our surroundings, can be of huge support to understand more deeply why we do the things we do and why our bodies move and feel a certain way.
Yes, I know that I learnt to blame how I felt on outside situations for example: work, trauma, etc. etc., but it is only recently that I have started to take responsibility with the way that I live, the way I move, the way I get in and out of the car etc., because that is what really affects my body more than anything that happens on the outside.
No more blaming!
I have found Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy an awesome therapy to receive and to practise. I love the effects it has had on my own body but also for clients and what I have noticed is you don’t need a long session or several sessions to see or better said, feel an effect because it can change very quickly.
Thank you Simon, this is a very interesting article and a great contribution to the sorry subject of domestic violence. Hardening for a man is already a violence to himself so it is not such a big step to then be violent to others – same of course also applies to women and all of us that cut ourselves off from our feelings. True strength and true power is found in staying open and sensitive.
beautifully said Nicola Lessing – redefining the true nature of what really entails abuse.
One of the many horrors of domestic violence is that it entrenches people further from their true nature as they carry the devastation of acting from such an unnatural place. For men, surrendering to the tender that they have hardened over for so long is true liberation just as it is for women to relate to that tender from their natural nurture that they have spent their lives suppressing and ignoring. The game the genders have played has left us in this sorry state when what we are all yearning is a return to our natural connection, harmony and appreciative support of one another.
So true, Nicola. Learning to stay open and sensitive is the key. Hardening and shutting down in any form can only lead to abuse as others are left on the outside.
You have summed it up simply Jenny Hayes yet said it all. Staying open and sensitive as opposed to hardening and shutting down.
Beautiful expressed Nicola Lessing, there is a great strength and power in us embracing the sensitivity in us all.
Yes, true power and being sensitive is fun. Sometimes less so but on balance it is overwhelmingly worth it. The more sensitive we are, the more we can nominate what is there and if it is something we don’t want, it loses its power over us and we can continue to stay sensitive. A pretty good deal.
So true Nicola and after a man has violated him self from the tenderness he truly is , he is then capable of the same with another person. Staying open and sensitive should be on the curriculum of all education.
Yes I agree Paul and there are many more factors missing from our education and conversations including understanding the great harm abuse does to both parties not only the victim but the perpetrator. We also have to say what is going on with all these abusers who themselves must be deeply hurt to behave in that way, because anyone who is connected to their essence would never harm themselves or others. So the abuse we see rampant in society today is loudly and persistently shouting a message to us that we simply can’t keep ignoring without increasingly dire consequences.
When a man is violent with his partner, his body would have hardened so much that he is cut-off from his own feelings or he feels totally overwhelmed by his own hurts and has hardened to not feel them, and lashes out with words, behaviours or physical abuse. What then happens to these men, is that they are presented with more situations where they harden more (e.g. police intervention, prison, judgement, etc) and so the cycle of hardening and potentially more violence continues. How amazing would it be to offer ECTT as part of any treatment and rehabilitation to allow these men an opportunity to return to the tenderness they would have once felt as young children?
Indeed Nicola ” true strength and true power is found in staying open and sensitive” and expressing from that sensitivity the hurts so they are not stored in our bodies.
The rise of domestic violence is actually telling us a lot of the inner wars that are going on in so many people. In a lot of countries we might have peace as in no war. But does this mean that a lot of people among us, actually play ‘good’ people, but within their own skin constantly experience a lot of tension. Which in fact is very very sad. Connective Tissue therapy reveals what is going on inside and allows us to re-connect to the fact that we are NOT those tensions. And that if we choose to connect and surrender to our innateness of Love, the war is over. What if we could honestly share together every time we feel tension. And that support of reconnecting back to us would be as normal as drinking a glass of water or having a meal. The inner wars can only be stopped by us choosing Love, rather than ‘acting’ peace.
‘ The inner wars can only be stopped by us choosing Love, rather than ‘acting’ peace.’ This is true Floris. I have heard Serge Benhayon talk about the dangers of ‘tolerance’, that it is actually very harmful behavior, and it feels like you have said here, that ‘acting peace’ is just like this, it is pretending. There is no love in acting peace or in tolerance, the only way is to find love within ourselves and to live that and let others live their own.
Floris, as you say “Connective Tissue therapy reveals what is going on inside and allows us to re-connect to the fact that we are NOT those tensions” which many if not most people experience in life. This has also been my experience of Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy; it is an amazingly supportive modality once one is ready to discard what is not of love as it provides a marker in the body, which will continue to deepen as we discard more and more layers.
Thankyou for this Gill. A simple Connective Tissue exercise which assists connection to the heart, but also to stop and ask yourself, when did this discomfort actually start, and how were you when it began and what were you doing?
I loved this blog about the very practical and tangible benefits of ECTT – from the physiological reduction in pain to a deepening of the quality of our relationships based on our reconnection to our sensitivity, tenderness and natural flow. This is so simple and yet so profound, an absolutely heaven-sent modality that needs to be in all people’s toolbox- from nurses, carers, to parents, friends and family.
I can’t think of a single person that I know who wouldn’t benefit from ECTT; observing throughout life and doing so without absorbing is a very fine art that we’re all still perfecting!
It is indicative of the way we live globally as a human race that it is not uncommon to be experiencing hardness and tension in the body in such a way that it is surpassing our very connective tissue. This is huge because it is in no way natural to be living with this each and every day!
That’s right Joshua, it is not natural, and it is even painful, we bring in habits and behaviours, foods etc to offset the way being hard and tense feels, and we inflict it on ourselves. It’s crazy.
It’s like we take the domestic violence in to be a fight and struggle within ourselves. This is the real pain of suffering with domestic violence is taking it all on emotionally.
I can feel your compassion with humanity in your words Josh. It is the actual fact as humanity is showing us this. That means that all what we see happening in our societies is not only something from the outside, but is caused because we have allowed our connective tissue to harden in such a way that makes it possible to bring violence and abuse into our lives. If we would not have the hardening in our bodies we would not be able to do any harm or or to commit any violent act.
Feels interesting you share this Nico because ‘domestic violence’ is something extreme many of us consider we don’t have and we don’t but if we are angry or emotional towards one another even on a ‘small’ level we are still hardening our connective tissue
I agree Nico, if we did not have the hardness in our connective tissue we would not be able to harm, or commit violence. Even without violence men conduct themselves with the aggression and competition that comes with hardening and this has become normal, but it is not natural. We can change this paradigm by living as gentle men and showing it to others.
I agree Nico, I can feel Josh’s compassion as well and also wisdom in understanding how sensitive we truly are – even if we choose not to be – and how unnatural, in truth, any form of abuse is. Whereas the choice of love is naturally expanding and nourishing in our bodies.
Yes, simon I can feel too Josh his wisdom in understanding how sensitive we all truly are. The connection with this sensitivity is sometimes lost because of the hardening of our connective tissues, but that does not mean that we are not that because we do not feel it. A better way to express would be for me to say that I have chosen to be not to aware of my sensitiveness and have hardened my body for that. And that I have hardened my body because I did not wanted to take the responsibility that comes with choosing for this sensitive aspect in me as this sensitivity connects me with the grandness of the universe in which I have to accept that I am part of that.
I totally agree Joshua. It highlights completely the disregard we are all choosing to live with. If our connective tissue wants us to be gentle and tender but we are ignoring this then it says a lot about where we are at as a humanity…
Simon, I had a similar experience, ‘The sensitivity I reclaimed meant listening to my body and exploring a totally different relationship with it to avoid any insult I was causing my body through intense, forceful or jarring exercise or stretching.’ About 5 years I practised a lot of yoga – stretching and twisting my body, this was often painful, but I thought this was all part of it.
After one experience of Esoteric yoga I felt something very different in my body, my body felt amazing, I felt light, flexible, joyful and without any pain – we had done no stretching, just simple, gentle movements.
Thanks Rebecca, all the modalities Serge Benhayon has offered have this amazing quality you describe to them, of course coming from different approaches. I have not experienced anything quite like them before in this lifetime.
Yes Rebecca, yoga was a big part of my life too practicing stretches and postures thinking I was toning and supporting my body when in fact I was hardening it. I can see this very clearly now and therefore I certainly wouldn’t go back to it, now that I have felt the gentle healing modalities that Universal Medicine has to offer.
What an awesome description of connective tissue.
I have found that over time my body has 100% responded to the gentleness of the connective tissue technique and I have become so much gentler in the way that I treat my body.
Awesome, and yet so clear and simple. Simon’s description of how the connective tissue is affected when we harden felt like the body being strangled. Strangled by expectations, ideals and beliefs. I have experienced connective tissue therapy too, an amazing opportunity to loosen that strangle hold and free the body to its natural, gentle, way of being.
It is great to go to this depth of understanding Catherine – how insult includes the energy of ideals and beliefs imposed on us, or we impose on ourselves. It takes our understanding of our bodies to being about all the influences in life that can be potentially healing or harming and thus, the energy we choose, or is imposed on us, if we live in protection and reaction. How much more then is our connective tissue and indeed our whole body, than merely a physical organism?
So timely in response Catherine.
I have just come from a esoteric massage session and feel the deep healing that has occurred on a connective tissues level. Just as I was reading some emails I tightened up in my body and felt the SIGNIFICANT effect that it had on my calves ~ it can be so simple to re-tighten an area of the body after having a healing session.
It is amazing what my body reveals to me when I am really prepared to listen and work on my surroundings as part of my daily practice.
Lovely response, for me I am finding the more connected I am with my surroundings the more harmony I have within my walk, within my movement and the more I am open to seeing/receiving with my eyes. The beauty of the world is just so exquisite and the more I open and blossom the more I experience this beauty.
Thank you Simon, this a beautiful reminder of the support that is available with the esoteric modalities, and the specific benefit of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy (ECTT). After reading this I can feel how allowing the support of ECTT more deeply will be of great benefit for my body and all aspects of life. Thank you.
Reading your blog Simon highlights the fact that the moment we disconnect from who we truly are and contract in any way at any age, our connective tissue is affected, thus our level of health compromised. Your comment – ‘The very interesting relationship between the hardness held in our bodies and our behaviour, highlights the importance of understanding the role our connective tissue plays in our physiological and psychological health and wellbeing’, says it all beautifully. Through the modality ‘Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy’ this damage can be undone and healing is possible. This amazing modality is the absolute opposite of hardening, contracting and resisting which, happens to the body under stress in abusive situations. Thanks Simon.
Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy confirms to us the delicateness of our true nature, from which one could never entertain any form of abuse, if one recognised and accepted the truth such an experience shows us.
So true Adam. the world would be a very different place if an ECTT practitioner was as commonly found as your local post office.
How utterly true Jinya. There should be an ECCT practitioner in every school and every corporation (Friday afternoons instead of going to the pub after work), in every Aged Care home, in every hospital and doctor’s surgery, and yes, one next to the Post Office would be cool!
Great point Adam, when we are connected to our true nature we could never harm ourselves or anyone else.
I absolutely agree Nicola and this is a very important fact that shows a great responsibility for each and every one of us.
Yes, we first need to disconnect before we can do harm and once that happens we need to reconnect first.
Yes, Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy re-introduced me to my own tenderness and allowed me to feel the difference between gentleness and hardness. I thought I was the tough tom boy and that was me, but with a few sessions I could feel the delicate woman I am under the armour that I created, lived with and then even identified with.
Beautiful Rosie, I can relate much to this and have realised that feeling my fragility is actually a great thing and not a weakness, which is what I once upon a time thought. It is amazing to have these therapies to support us in coming back to what is so naturally there in the first place.
This is so common for most of us Rosie. Setting up a protective wall causing the body to harden and completely blocking off our sensitive, tender and delicate nature. Letting down our guard we then feel our true selves.
Wonderfully put, Adam. I have found that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has a very profound effect on the body with such incredibly subtle movements. It is quite astounding. The confirmation that our bodies respond so deeply to such subtlety is indeed proof of how delicate we truly are.
Beautifully said Naren. It is amazing how the subtle movements of CTT elicit such a profound effect in the body, even one hardened over years of protection and abuse, to reveal such a delicacy, and also to reveal how responsive the body actually is, how it will come back.
So true, Lyndy. It shows how our truest nature is literally just below the surface of the hardness we think is who we are.
Yes Naren, our true nature is so close to us, even though we have wandered far, and is just waiting for us to choose this beauty, this love, this power.
And so, it begs the pertinent question… if such delicateness is our true nature, why do we entertain so many forms of abuse?
Yes Adam, this is so true. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is confirming to us that we are naturally delicate and when truly connected to our delicateness we will not be able to do any harm to ourselves or anyone else.
A simple truth – it is impossible to abuse or to accept abuse when connected to God. What a powerful healing modality Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is – a huge blessing and opportunity for us to connect to all that we naturally are.
Beautifully put simple words Adam, if one indeed recognises and accepts the powerful truth of who we are.
It is undeniable Adam that Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy lets you feel your body and connect to the delicate, tender and spacious beings that we are naturally designed to be. Only when we live our lives with the stress and the tension of things does this start to close down and everything starts to feel tight and restricted. Everyone would benefit having the support of Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy.
This revelation may change the face of domestic violence, and offer a new way forward for treatment of this condition ( as it appears to be}. I have had many treatments of Connective Tissue Therapy in the past few years and have had many conditions improve over this time!.
This is awesome Simon – although I have heard of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy I never knew what it really did, nor that we had these tissues that respond to everything that happens around us! It is totally true that boys and men are feeling more and more that they need to be hard and tough; at school most of the boy groups/gangs are based around this hard, intimidating, ‘pack’ dynamic, because they feel they will only get respect if they impose their ‘power’ on others. Crazy when you think not so long ago they were just sweet boys without this need for dominance, although considering how the media represents men I am in no way surprised.
It’s an interesting insight Susie, Men choose to harden up and be in these ‘gangs’ because it is actually a form of safety for them. It would hurt them too much to feel that they feel rejected because they can’t be their sensitive selves and if they were it would make them really stand out.
“where the hardness can release markedly even in one session”
This is a great claim you make here Simon and I agree. I have to say I was a bit taken aback to feel the depth and power of this Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy.
It is like you are being pulled back into your absolute core deep deep inside your body and you become super still and it’s like there is a release in the tension and hardness which allows you to surrender – go deeper inside your body.
It is worth millions and I thought imagine receiving ECTT before going into surgery or offering it to those in A&E waiting to be seen for their ’emergency’. What a huge difference it would make and again I say THANK GOD FOR SERGE BENHAYON.
This man needs to be studied and YES he has the answers the world needs now.
Thank you so much Simon, this makes so much sense to me. I love how you describe how holding back feelings causes hardness in the body and in the organs; when that is an entrenched way of being men are trapped into physiological and emotional dysfunction. It is easy to see how that leads to eating disorders emotional outbursts as the hardness is entrenched deeper. What is the socially accepted way to manage all this? -Alcohol, the demon drink, what in insidious set up to trap and incarcerate men.
My daughter is 2 and has been receiving ECTT from Kate Greenaway. I started taking her as she was developing a stutter that was getting worse. It turn’s out I have a super sensitive little soul who is absorbing other peoples energy. This is causing a lot of nervous tension in her body. After her first session she stopped stuttering for a few days, it returned as her absorption returned. After each session her stuttering improves more. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a incredible modality that can support my child as such a deep level.
This is beautiful Kim and a testimony to how incredibly powerful Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy (ECTT) is. When I receive ECTT I always get to feel how sensitive I am and how much my body gets affected by everything I do, say and be. It is a great litmus test to show us whether we are responding or reacting to life.
Wow Kim, this truly is a miracle and reveals the power of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy.
Wow, this is incredible to read and feel. The depths of support your daughter is receiving in a time when most children learn to shut down and withdraw from what they are feeling. This is incredible and shows the absolute support and wonder of ECTT and other esoteric modalities in aiding us all to live as we truly are.
That is awesome to read kimweston2 and it makes sense.
I have felt extraordinary changes in my body through having sessions of this wonderful modality. It becomes very easy to feel when I harden or take on anything, even in the slightest way afterwards, so it is a great marker as well.
Thank-you Simon for the insight this has given me into the connection between domestic violence and as another one of the many ways that we can hold hardness within the body, which until reading your blog I had never considered. ECTT is a profound modality to release the hardness we hold in our bodies if we are willing to allow it to work, by choosing to change to being more consciously aware and tenderly support our bodies or of course we can choose to go back into those old patterns of not feeling and hardening up. For me I have found ECTT to be an amazing support to return to being far more loving and caring of myself and towards others.
Simon, that is a great blog that had me feeling how tense my body was just sitting at the computer, and then how when I started to move and breathe more gently I supported it to soften. You painted an in depth picture that I could actually feel in my body. It brought much awareness to what my connective tissue is and how important my movements are to support my body. Thank you Simon, I can feel how my day will be filled with this awareness.
This is profound Simon. It makes so much sense as to why the rising level of tension in someone’s physical and emotional body can lead to violence of any kind and vice versa. It’s a self perpetuating cycle until another choice is made about the quality of how to be in the body. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is indeed profound in the marker it can provide for someone to feel the natural flow of their body again.
This article brings much needed understanding to domestic Violence. Men are set up to only know themselves in their hardness, and Simon puts all the pieces together describing the trouble that causes. Through that understanding there is an effective treatment that can alleviate the hardness so that we may feel our natural state, and make our lifestyle choices from there.
Well said Bernard. The understanding that this awesome article has brought, the simplicity in which the of the whole chain of events is described, is of the utmost help to all the men and women and children of this world.
To actually feel the fact that we are everyday actively training half of humanity, all men, to become desensitized to their body and their sensitivity and live imprisoned in hardness is devastating. This is beside the results on society such as domestic violence. The fact that so many women try to be more like men in a misguided attempt to have equality, also means this hardness is adopted by even more people as a norm! Thank God for Universal Medicine and for modalities such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy that are so effective and so supportive in turning round the trend.
We are not designed to live with hardness, yet men, especially see this as part of their tool kit. If we step outside of the front door, whether it is with a briefcase or an actual tool bag, hardness is also the tucked under the arm with the lunchbox and umbrella. We are constantly under attack from an energy that says ‘protect yourself’, when most news headlines shout about violence, murder, rage, a catastrophe of some kind or you are simply brought up to be tough. But there is another way, it just takes a choice and a little effort and behind hardness is a very exquisite way to live. Thank you Simon for a great explanation how Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can support this choice.
I was watching World Cup Rugby last night and could only imagine what was happening to the connective tissue and how hard it must have to get when a rugby player takes a hit. I actually played the game for many years but it would be one thing I wouldn’t do if I could put back time.
kevmchardy, just the thought of that makes my body cringe. Such hardness is needed even just to brace themselves for the game before it even starts. It makes it more painful to watch when one’s awareness of the body increases.
I have had very deep and powerful sessions of ECTT but until now I did not understand why it is so effective. Thanks Simon for a very clear explanation.
Thank you Simon for explaining the science behind ECTT. I used to think of myself as fit and flexible until I started having the treatment. The practitioner explained that my body was very tense and hard. The treatment combined with my connecting to myself have resulted in a softer and more receptive body. Being in tune with my body and observing its reaction to my way of living has allowed me to surrender with purpose to delicateness.
This blog has me feeling the beautiful energy of the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy modality and I want one 😊
After a session of ECTT I had to spend a few hours walking and feeling the amazing feeling in my body, never before walked with that grace and beauty, feeling my hips sway gently and so present that I could not believe it. We are given an absolutely heavenly therapy here. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Kate Greenaway for making this possible.
It’s interesting that hardness in a man’s body is championed as a good thing, yet that hardness is not a natural state and takes energy to maintain. So we are having to work harder to just live and breathe as hard men, that doesn’t seem to me to be very intelligent. If we consider what it is we need as men to live and enjoy life, then hardness is not something that really has any place. If we remove the hardness it seems likely we would reduce the antisocial behaviour that is the out of control emotional responses of many men, that is something that is worthwhile for society to address, and perhaps Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy has a massive role to play in achieving this, it has certainly been an incredible modality to receive from my personal experience of it, and has helped to address many of my own emotionally harming reactions.
I see this with young boys, they are encouraged to be hard, when they fall over it is common to be told to ‘get up’, ‘you’re strong’, ‘you’re tough’ and so I can see how boys learn to stop crying when they fall over and they are thus hardening up, when I see a child fall over and hurt themselves but override the hurt and not cry it feels very unnatural.
It is amazing how our much our bodies can harm themselves when we go into hardness, hardening our connective tissues. Yet Connective Tissue Therapy is seen to be a bit of an airy fairy practice, even though the quality of our connective tissue greatly impacts on our health and well-being. As a society we need to start opening our horizons when it comes to taking care of one’s health and well-being.
This article is a great education. I don’t think many of us make the correlation between going into protection to how this affects our connective tissue and our ability to feel. An absolute must read for everyone!
I agree Toni, our connective tissue shows us how hardness is really transient and what may feel rock hard and very abusive and aggressive at one moment, can melt into a finer, flowing and pulsing quality at another. As ECCT is so gentle yet powerful, it shows how much hardness is part of an illusionary aspect to being human.
Yes Simon, hardness has such an impact and our connective tissue shows it, but given the right support with Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy it releases which shows it’s power but also how choices have a huge impact, and how we live is played out in our bodies – and hurrah for that, it shows us clearly how we’ve been.
When looking at what may be a key factor in eradicating domestic violence I can see many, the lack of self-love and self-worth are two huge factors that affect both the abuser and abused. Control is another key factor, the experts say the abuser is looking to control the other person, so if working with someone who abuses, it seems essential that we look at why the person feels the need to control another. And if working with the abused person, we would need to explore why they let themselves be controlled by another. Both people in a domestic violent situation are abusive, this is a key understanding our society fails to see as a whole. To simply allow abuse is abusive.
How beautifully and simply you express the feelings that I have felt in my body when I am not in harmony with myself – the tensing up of the muscles and the hardness that is the outcome, and in turn the way this ripple effect causes a response in every part of our body as the connective tissue responds. We are constantly abusing our own bodies and this effect is not isolated, as how we are is felt by every other person around us. We have a great responsibility to treat our body with tenderness and love and to appreciate these moments and to build on this experience as our body unfolds a natural path back to harmony with itself and with the world.
“This increased sensitivity and awareness has also became a whole new foundation for the way I live and brought a new more gentle quality to everything I do, which has greatly increased my level of vitality and my sense of wellbeing.”
What a different place our workplaces and family lives would be, with these qualities in them! The harmony that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy brings to the body and to the way we feel, evidently has far reaching effects.
Simon, what a fantastic article. It’s funny I’ve always understood that boys being asked to become tough isn’t right, but I’d never clearly considered the impact on the body, that hardness you speak of, and how it leads to a life where everything is felt and experienced from that hardness. And that’s what Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy does, it gets underneath that hardness to allow connection back to the underlying sensitivity that is always there, and to release that hardness in the body – it’s truly life changing and yet the movements are so gentle and subtle, with not an ounce of force or push.
What a brilliant piece of writing Simon, you offer so much awareness and reveal the root cause of what creates domestic violence to begin with, disconnection from self and hardening of our bodies to protect ourselves from hurt. You then reveal the powerful effects that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can have in supporting most lovingly the return to our natural tenderness and sweetness. Absolutely amazing!
I have never heard anyone connect domestic violence with connective tissue before. As an outsider people may wonder “How could they do that?”, either be the abuser or receive the abuse. But it makes sense that if we harden our connective tissue, we can longer feel the harm we are doing to ourselves or others. A key part of dealing with this issue does seem to be supporting hurt people to feel again, for men to rediscover how sensitive they are and for women to reclaim their loveliness and power.
Yes Fiona, beautifully said ~ ‘for men to rediscover how sensitive they are and for women to reclaim their loveliness and power’
An interesting point Fiona – it makes sense that if your whole body is in a hardened state that you would be desensitised. Considering that connective tissue is related to every area of the body, it is also interesting that they don’t teach you about it at school.
Hi Simon. What you write about how guys hardening up in their bodies is playing a big part in domestic violence is really important and relevant to the problems we are having in society today.
On the one hand we have these male stereotypes in life that we DO gladly allow and support. Images and role models that associate so called ’real’ men with being strong, impervious, unshakeable, in command, bullet proof, the provider, the protector and perhaps either driving a Toyota Hilux because they’re so tough or on the other hand an executive model Mercedes Benz because they have made so much money. These stereotypes are still very much alive and well and are reinforced for example, by rugby sports stars – they hold a practically warrior status… or media magnates who own entire newspapers yet seem to lack a feeling bone in their body.
Simultaneously we are breeding into men into insensitivity, numbness, unfeelingness and even brute like qualities but wonder why we have these domestic violence situations.
Our understanding of who men truly are requires a quantum shift if we are going to completely address domestic violence. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a very powerful tool in supporting men to get back in touch with who they are beneath the hardness.
Thanks Simon for giving me a deeper understanding of how connective tissue works in our bodies. Having experienced first hand the benefits of Connective Tissue Therapy, I have found it super supportive in helping me to feel, understand and release the hardness I carry in my body. Domestic Violence is much in the news at present due to a couple of particularly horrific cases but as you have shown, it is so poorly understood in terms of the physiology of our bodies. Clearly what you have presented is a much needed missing piece of the puzzle in the current day discussions.
Thank you for sharing this insight Simon. The hardness in men definitely needs to be addressed in order to change the domestic violence situation we have in society. It is easy to feel how, as men are told as they grow up to harden up and don’t be a girl that when they bottle up all this emotion that it comes out, directed at a woman – something that we have been told is weaker and that we are not to be like. How terrible is this? It often seems like a throwaway line to harden up or don’t be a girl – but when you are repeatedly told this as you grow up it is significant. We need to support and encourage men to be the tender, gentle men that they truly are.
I have started to walk for 10 minutes every day and take that time to connect to my body and how it is feeling and immediately I can feel the tension in my body somewhere. So I keep breathing, walking and feeling and the tension starts to lift. Then sure enough, if I go back into my head and think unsupportive thoughts, I can feel my right shoulder lift and my jaw tense as the reaction is immediate. I can also vouch for Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and how powerful it is in re-balancing my body and leaving it feeling open and spacious after.
Great sharing Julie and very inspirational. Just a 10 minutes walk can reflect so much to us. I am becoming more aware of my body as well and how it feels. My focus is very much on my arms lately. Letting go of the hardness, the tension and also observing how I hold my arms and my shoulders. Am I in protection or am I open? Amazing how much our bodies tell us, in every moment.
My 6 year old son recently was struggling with being teased. I took him to Kate Greenaway for a Connective Tissue Therapy session and it was truly remarkable. Slowly over time his sweetness was becoming more and more hidden and I hadn’t really noticed the extent at which this was happening. Immediately after the session the sweet, gorgeous boy I know was back. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face and I asked him how he felt in his body and he said “Super duper wuper good”. Connective Tissue Therapy has the power to change the world.
What a lovely example of what Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can do Nikkimckee and how quickly it can make a change to our lives. It may not immediately solve your son’s struggle with being teased but the fact that your son was back smiling and no longer hiding will probably mean he will be better equipped to deal with it in the future.
That is ‘super duper wuper’ beautiful Nikki. What an expression of truth from your son! Connective Tissue Therapy is certainly one of the best healing modalities available to man.
True Lyndy, Connective Tissue Therapy is a blessing for all people who suffer from pain through hardening their body which comes from not being able to cope with what the world throws at them every day.
Nikki i can’t help but reflect on the fact that what a transformation took place with Connective Tissue Therapy yet there must be c. 3.5 billion Men (and I am sure many billions of women) that are living with the hardness that Simon speaks about. That is a real tragedy as the gorgeous, sweet boy with the super duper smile is also waiting to come back to all of us. It does indeed show the power this one therapy has to transform the world. We’ve accepted the hardness and the way men are in society, I lived accepting that was the way I needed to be, so we don’t really notice the extent this is affecting us all.
When you take a deeper look at the bigger picture, my son was struggling with something and it was creating a tension and hardness in his body. Had we not gone and had Connective Tissue Therapy, he would still have that in his body and would be slowly (or quickly) adding to it over time, leading to god knows what in the future. The CTT gave him the opportunity and the space to clear it and come back to his natural self. He was offered a relatively clean slate to start from again. Imagine that! Being teased at age 6 can have a big impact on our lives and affect our behaviours which in turn and over time affect who we think we are. As that happens with more and more things, we can easily forget who we naturally are.
So so true Nikki. Being teased at the age of 6 can have a big impact on a child and be the beginning of a process of dis-ease in the body. So brilliant that CTT can undo the hardness and bring us back to that clean slate you mention, the clean slate that resides within every one of us without exception, and to which we can all come back. Beautiful!
Nikki this is a very powerful example how ECCT can support people to see beyond their hurts, which we take on as you illustrated at such an early age, and reconnect with the sweetness and gorgeousness that we truly are. A whole generation brought up getting to reconnect and feel this regularly would mean a whole new world.
This is beautiful Nikki! Lovely to hear! I often feel like this after an Esoteric session as well and can’t take the smile off my face or hide the natural sweetness inside.
It’s that joy of simply being who you are and not holding it back 🙂
I could feel here how you have expressed directly from your body Simon! Your simple explanation of connective tissue had me right in side my own anatomy! I realised how domestic violence can happen in my own body when I am disregarding of the preciousness of the vehicle that is my expression in the world – it’s all I have! Taking that to another level and abusing another (which I have done on an emotional level) is first a total disconnection from myself. This makes Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy a beautiful way back to claiming my own preciousness and honouring the delicate nature of my body. Thank you!
Fantastic article Simon. It explains so clearly what hardness in the body over time does and the serious effects this can have on behaviour. I know beautiful sensitive men who struggle with their anger, have had alcohol and drug problems and have mental health issues. It all makes sense now. This should be widely read.
Me too Nikkimckee … I know super sensitive and sweet men that erupt in verbal angry outburts and it is so clear to me now that they have hardened to protect themselves to not feel the hurts they’ve no doubt carried for many, many years. ECCT is a blessing as a healing modality to us all.
Yes, it’s really important to see how accumulation of hurts and hardening our bodies over time imprisons us and hinders our ability to express and feel how beautifully sensitive we are until we choose to commit to coming back to who we are.
Speaking personally it’s so important I see the damage I do when I choose to harden; and experience the freedom to be myself when I choose to accept times when I feel vulnerable.
It’s always so refreshing to read about Domestic Violence in terms of a person who’s decided it’s not acceptable or safe to be seen as ‘weak’ and that men and women we are innately sensitve, caring, nurturing souls.
I know the men I’ve met who have been violent to their partners have all been deeply sensitive men who haven’t felt this was possible to show this to the world so have held a hardness/ constant tension in their bodies that others have experienced as stepping on egg shells around them in an attempt to not trigger a reaction.
Rather than demonise them I can certainly see the value in ECTT and supporting them to feel at ease with their sensitivity and not ask of them to be anything other than deeply caring. This is a responsibility for us all in society.
I can relate to bracing my body. I actually used to refer to doing my job as being like one long rugby tackle that I would only surface from once the holidays came around. I would joke about it and others would laugh, but when I look back it was not a great way to live, yet I accepted it for years. The idea of toughening up is so strong in our society; we are actually congratulated for it and encouraged to do it. I now see how much I hurt myself, and my body living this way. Thank goodness for ECTT. My first session was a revelation to me, and over several sessions I discovered and allowed so much tension and hardness to be released. It does not just happen in the sessions, since it’s about learning to live my life in a different way that does not involve the bracing. VERY powerful and healing.
Isn’t it amazing how we protect our hurts and pain through our body. Why as men, including myself, do we have to protect ourselves. It feels like it’s been passed on from one generation to the next for aeons. Men are physically stronger than women and surely this is for a true purpose – not for violence. From a very young age I was brought up to be tough and see any other man as a threat if they got too close to my boundaries or provoked my hurt. My mum and family around me encouraged me to “stand up and be a man”.
Everything has now changed since Universal Medicine. I am embracing as much as possible to be seen as the tender sensitive man that I am. There is nothing more empowering to feel this. Life and relationships are more joyful to be able to connect and really understand someone instantly without knowing them beforehand or judging where they’ve been.
My tender body supports me to live and create the enjoyable life I want. The Esoteric Modalities have been the support I needed to understand who I really am. I am in deep appreciation for the intent of what these Modalities provide.
What a great article this is Simon. The possibility to truly heal and live from our natural tenderness and sensitivity, both women and men, is offered to the reader. Connective Tissue therapy is so powerful and will hopefully become accessible for many many more.
I agree Katinka, Connective Tissue Therapy is super powerful and people deserve to know just how powerful it is.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a revolutionary modality that is transforming thousands of peoples lives. Including my own. The beautiful, precious wave like flow of energy I feel through my body when having ECTT inspires me to live in a way so as to feel this tenderness all the time.
The word ‘precious’ sticks out for me in your description of the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and it is indeed what I have felt too in my sessions. ETTC is an absolute tender and non-imposing modality which allows me to surrender to myself and my body.
I have experienced this too marylouisemyers after deeply enjoying Connective Tissue Sessions. They are so amazing and totally non-invasive:
“The beautiful, precious wave like flow of energy I feel through my body when having ECTT inspires me to live in a way so as to feel this tenderness all the time”.
Thank you Simon for your clear and simple explaining of the consequences of hardening in our bodies. The effect is clearly the same for men and women’s bodies and as a society many women are getting harder and harder. If we take the time to observe teenage girls we can see how physically aggressive they are to both other females and to young male peers. They often punch into the young males and expect them not to retaliate in any way. Not that I am suggesting for a minute that the males should hit out but the level of violence expressed by young females is increasing all the time, then when you add alcohol to the equation it is sad to see the mix of emotion that is expressed and how they are expressed. Women play a part in a domestically violent relationship and are often the perpetrators.
I have been observing this change also. Margaret. Moreover, in primary schools in Australia, it is seen as gender equity to allow girls to play the harder sports like rugby league: I see this as more of a training ground for toughening and hardening up. There is also the phenomenon of the teenage “layette,” where young women compete to drink the men under the table and engage in traditionally masculine pursuits. These are only 2 indicators of the increase in more aggressive behaviour in girl and young women- there are many more!
Simon like you I deeply appreciate what Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers, the sessions and courses that I’ve done have allowed a deep drop in my body, as I shed what feels like layers of hardness. It’s also great to reflect on the fact that through a gentle, tender approach to everything in life we naturally bring ECTT to each part of our day.
Domestic Violence is but one of the outplays of men’s hardening to stay distanced from the society that hurts them. This form of protection is crazy when you review it as there is only more hurt and desperation that unfolds from this fortress like living. As it gets more tense and harder to cope with, the man lashes out, and the DV is a result of this letting go of all that has built up.
Yes Lee it is so crazy. And it is easy to see when we know the law of energy i.e. a man hardens to protect himself and his hurts, the more he hardens the less he can love and feel so the worse he actually feels, the less he feels the more he can lash out without feeling the consequences and so the violence proliferates. But when we are in this sequence it doesn’t seem crazy because that energy won’t allow us to ‘see’ it. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who has shone his Light and bought the machinations of this evil consciousness to be revealed for what it is.
Absolutely Lyndy – Thank God for Serge Benhayon.
I love how you have expanded on the energetic entrapment and blindness that develops the more protected we become Lyndy. And this hardness and protection and the resultant domestic violence is not just reserved for men, as we know.
Totally Bernadette – women are an equal part of the equation.
I agree Lee. And this hurt, tension and hardness gets passed down to our younger generations and the cycle starts again. The stereotype that men have to be tough to be strong and put up a fight does nobody any good.
“there is only more hurt and desperation that unfolds from this fortress like living”. Men toughening up is something that happens everywhere and from a very young age and of course on different levels. Domestic Violence is one of the severest result of this hardening and protection, but the impact is felt throughout the whole of society and we need to recognise this so we can contribute to a needed change in guiding boys from an early age.
Wow Simon, this is an amazing article, I can feel the absolute truth in what you have written. It is wonderful to have this explained so clearly: ‘The hardness is like a bracing in the body, which occurs when we take on the image of being tough’. I did this as a young woman, I wanted to be tough like a boy and so chose to harden my body. I am now letting go of this hardness and can feel my sensitivity and loveliness again.
“Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction.”
Just this line alone Simon speaks volumes and the way you describe it is worth a thousand reads and more for the world right now and would give them so many answers. Just the understanding alone would support men, women and those involved in domestic violence like the police and social workers to make changes and stop judgement and really begin to get to the root of why this is happening in our society.
I hope one day Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy – the true Serge Benhayon model – is available to even more people who can for themselves discover how deep these hurts actually go inside the body and the benefits of ECTT in the healing process.
I agree Bina, this is clearly a science in itself and brings much clarity to the world. It only really takes a moment to ponder on this to understand that by living in reaction would impact hugely the relationship we have with ourselves. It is important to develop a relationship with ourselves that is built on no emotions whatsoever and this can be a process for many.
I agree Bina this line does speak volumes and we have a lot to learn from it. Not in meetings, or charts or trying to break it down to find ‘solutions’ but really stopping and feeling this. The beauty of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is that is actually helps to address this within the body in the most gentle and unimposing way.
I hope this too Bina, that one day Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and all esoteric healing modalities will be accessible for all who need it and are open to it.
Imagine if part of the treatment for those who are charged with Domestic Violence (let alone those who became self-aware) was a minimum of 6 ECTT sessions! The deep self regard of the truly connected practitioner would begin to allow the release of the connective tissue well before the client ever got on the table! How powerful is the truth that everything about us; our anatomy and physiology naturally aligns to and seeks harmony!
What an awesome idea. It would be even better if people had a minimum of 6 Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy sessions before they hurt or harmed another.
A simple definition and explanation of emotional dysfunction. Put this way, it is easy to see how living in reaction detrimentally impacts our lives.
I love the connection in these comments between the importance of the science of human behaviour and “stopping and feeling”. It is in the reclaiming of our own power to observe and express our feeling that will inspire others to decide for themselves what healing modalities truly support how they live.
Hardness is something I chose to take part in, this life, in order to keep people at a distance. Being this way was about me not wanting to be in the world and to be part of it, so if I kept everyone at bay I wouldn’t have to deal with them. But this was a very isolating way to live and through much of my life I wanted to come out from behind the fortress of hardness and be with people, but when hardness is present in the body this proves to be very difficult. As I have slowly released the hardness in my body, also with the support of ECTT and Esoteric Healing, I have been able to let people get close to me and although it was daunting in the beginning it now feels great, and I wouldn’t want to live any other way.
Thank you Simon for exploring the relationship between domestic violence and the connective tissue. It makes so much sense. If we learnt from a young age to truly honour the tenderness that we innately are, which then in turn supports the connective tissue in the body, there wouldn’t be the level of domestic violence that there is now. Imagine if every household practised Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and the positive impact that this would have on how people relate to themselves and with each other. Wow, the thought of this is so inspiring, perhaps one day this will be as normal as having dinner together.
It’s interesting to explore the link between hardening the body and domestic violence. It’s something I had not considered before, but it does make a lot of sense to me. I have become so much gentler with myself since having ECTT. It then naturally flows out to me being more gentle with others. This kind of body-work is very healing and I recommend it highly. It’s truly life changing.
Wow – imagine if every household practises Connective Tissue Therapy!! The world would change overnight.
I can definitely confirm that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality in which I re connected to depths and breadths of tenderness, awe and wonder within myself that I had not previously considered to be possible within the human frame. It is exquisite….
Yes Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy may be the eighth wonder of the world. There is nothing I have come across that is quite like it.
Ahh, so beautifully said Dean. I would absolutely agree! There is nothing quite like the exquisiteness of Connective Tissue Therapy. This tender, super gentle and profound modality is deeply healing and extremely powerful.
Definitely, Dean; and after a esoteric connective tissue session, we walk as the 9th Wonder of the World 🙂
You express with awesome clarity, Simon, how conditioning from childhood leads to hardness and protection in the body. This then causes a disconnection from our innate and natural sensitivity and connection with self and others. Living in this vacuum of disconnection and hardness then predisposes one to hyper-reactvity and the potential for violence.
This is an amazing unravelling of the chain of cause and effect and super supportive in showing how violence becomes possible.
But then…..you go on to share a way to redress this huge imbalance through the modality of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and subsequently allowing oneself to align with its gentle and tender, impulsed ways of living.
Wow! That is a huge insight you are offering humanity, Simon. Thank you for your amazing expression.
Absolutely Colleen; Simon’s sharing about Domestic Violence and the healing modality of Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy is a true service offered to anyone serious about supporting those who are the perpetrators of DV and those it is inflicted upon.
I agree Coleen24, Simon has shown a link between the emotional and physical reactions to the way we are raised and offered an insightful response. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is one way to feel the hardness that is stored in the body and help to release this. Once this hardness is felt and the harm that this causes in the body is realised, it is then easy to see the importance of not creating this hardness in the first place.
I agree, Lee, although after reading and re reading Simon’s article, I also felt that what we are really hardening ourselves against is NOT the world, as we usually conceive this to be the case, but a hardening against our own innate sensitivity.
I so agree Coleen, the way that Simon expresses shows so clearly and succinctly how it becomes possible for violence to occur when we let go of our natural tenderness and succumb to the hurts, disconnecting from who we naturally are. The way in which Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy works is amazingly supportive, so gentle and instantly its effects are felt throughout. What Simon shares most definitely offers humanity as a whole a greater level of awareness in how we can end this cycle of disconnection and violence.
Yes since we tend to harden up in respond to hurts – and in fact boys are often told to harden up – and hardening in our body “causes a disconnection from our innate and natural sensitivity and connection with self and others”, it is not surprising that we are often not as loving and as tender with each other as we could be.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an incredible gift and support to the whole of humanity with a deep and profound impact on the body’s ability to return to its natural tenderness, sensitivity and connection.
In a nutshell – so clearly said Coleen. The cause and effect of shutting out the exquisite spark that we all carry that unites us completely and where there is no divide between gender, age, race, culture etc. Domestic violence is just one of the aberrations that is played out because of this.
The description of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy releasing tension like a ripple that moves through the body is beautiful and one I will connect more with. When receiving and also as a practitioner of this modality I have often felt it as an unravelling or unwinding of held tension, like an anti-clockwise spiral moving like a corkscrew up or down the body.
Yes Dean reading your comment has reminded me how a practitioner working at my ankle can result it me feeling tension being release up in my back or neck. This is a confirmation of how our body is connected, and how powerful these gentle movements are.
This is a great blog Simon, and seeks to explore one of the root causes of domestic violence – the way men are not only asked to be in society, but choose to be in order to “protect themselves” from getting hurt. The absolute irony of this is that in the process they end up hurting others in their disconnection, and in extreme cases this plays out in the form of domestic violence.
What you are saying about connective tissue Simon is really interesting. I can see how I have braced myself through my life to be really hard and tense. My body stays like that even when I am relaxing and my awareness becomes distorted and dulled, just as if I was wearing armour twenty fourseven .
I can now see how beneficial Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is to feel the hardness held in my body and how unnatural it is compared to the natural sensitivity and tenderness that I can surrender to in treatments.
The irony is that when we harden we think we are protecting ourselves from possible external hurts, however we are greatly harming ourselves internally by creating tension within our connective tissue…but the hardening doesn’t allow us to feel this!
What I love about the esoteric healing modalities is how simply they return our bodies to their natural state of being. You have presented this clearly here Simon. The hardness we have created in our bodies is not natural; Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy works with our bodies to build a marker in our bodies of what true vitality feel like, so we can choose to live this everyday.
As you say here, any insult to the body is felt by the connective tissue and it contracts and gets hard, even when we do a lot of traditional yoga, or do a lot of relaxation, it can stay hard. The fact that accepting abuse, either from others or from oneself affect the connective tissue so much is something to take into account. How our thoughts and emotions have an effect in our connective tissue, and how a session can re introduce the rhythm that reconnects us to stillness.
Yes this is my experience too Julia, even after much traditional Yoga and becoming very ‘accomplished’ with postures, strength and flexibility and even thinking I was able to relax very deeply, I still ‘needed’ my workouts on a regular basis. So it was only through the support of Esoteric Healing therapies and feeling the hardness in my connective tissue and organs that I began to understand why I needed relief from regular workouts – it was a deeper hardness that the workouts were actually numbing myself to and contributing to not feeling. When I began to feel that hardness, I could not do that same kind of Yoga anymore. My body said “no” and this happened almost as soon as I had claimed this deeper awareness and sensitivity.
I am so grateful to have found these modalities, as this deeper awareness that you mention, does not let me just tick the boxes of relaxation or body fitness, but asks me to go deeper every time, and I see more of what I am doing and being, and although I might resist it at times because of its exposure, as it comes with much more love and a very physical feeling of oneness, I stay.
So beautifully expressed Julia. The Universal Medicine modalities, including Connective Tissue Therapy totally support us to go deeper, bringing a far more expanded sense of awareness and a known bench-mark of what true health and wellbeing actually feels like. I did not know that I had been carrying years of ‘anguish’ around in my body until the healing hands of a practitioner simply held my head and I felt it all leave, so that I was back to the love that I am. Very simple but pure joy!
Very simple indeed Lyndy, and when I read about your experience, that could very well be mine, I feel the absolute grace and blessing of these modalities.
This is a great point juliamanbos, that our thoughts and emotions have an effect on our connective tissue. Consequently a session in ECTT can have an effect on our thoughts and emotions, which really shows how everything in life is interconnected.
Great point you make here juliamanbos. I used to teach yoga and felt I was very fit and flexible. What I did not realise until I stopped teaching it was how hard and tightly wound my body was. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy had enabled me to slowly release the layers of hardness and get back to a feeling of harmony and flow in my body. All of this without a downward dog in sight.
Simon this is such a clear and easy to understand article about how hardening against life actually affects the physical body and implicates the long term consequences on our health and vitality. I remember men when growing up going from sweet, sensitive little guys into their ‘tougher’ versions, all built on protecting themselves against being further hurt. I can really understand the pain behind this unrealistic pressure that is put on men. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is something that I have found astonishing simple and powerful at the same time. The subtlest movements can have profound effects on the body, proving once again that we are very sensitive beings that need to be treated with gentleness and love. This is what the body truly responds to long term, men and woman alike.
Jo, your comment reminds me of how much I enjoy watching boys just as they are learning to crawl and walk, before they have taken on any toughness, they ooze sweetness and tenderness, they should be the poster boy (no pun intended), the marker for all us to be reminded of the exquisite essence of men.
What is amazing is the profound effect these gentle and sometimes hardly perceptible movements are. What is funny is that deep tissue massage is seen as a remedy for troublesome tension in the body. My experience of ECTT is that my body responds almost instantly to the gentle movements. It’s as if my body is reminded of how gentle it should be, and then the tension starts to release. The force applied with deep tissue massages I have had feels very aggressive and has left me feeling sore.
I am more and more amazed by giving sessions ECTT. The way Our bodies are communicating to us, is just amazing. I am finding that it is Truly up to me if I choose to receive the messages. And the body LOVES to be listened to. Whenever heard, it responds instantly. Faster than we can speak. Almost allready responding before we even registered what is communicated. ECTT will be a therapy that will contribute immensely now and in the future.
I agree with you Floris, in the sessions you can feel that the body changes as soon as it is listened to, when you get the message, it simply shifts. It loves being listened to, the communication that we all need in so many levels.
Simon this is truly beautiful and I love what you have presented here. When we are hard, and have grown up in a world that fosters this hardness, we can have no other marker as to what it feels like otherwise. Through re-connecting to our bodies and allowing our natural tenderness to be felt once more, we can over time feel the behaviours that no longer fit and support us to live delicately and with love for each part of our bodies. When we live in this way with ourselves, there is no way we can be any less with another, and hence truly loving relationships – with no room for anything even remotely related to domestic violence – are born.
” Letting go of hardness and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.”- I too have experienced this from such a powerfull healing modality- esoteric connective tissue therapy. My deep appreciation and thanks to Serge Benhayon for making this amazing modality available to humanity.
Thank you Simon, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is simple and profound as it allows me to be aware of my body whether I am moving in protection to the world or if I am open and willing to let others in , the connection to the stillness within me is a great marker time after time to connect to and live it as a true man.
Simon, you highlight some great points here. One aspect I like to relate to is ‘Yet this kind of hardness does not release as a muscle should, when not actively being used. It stays tense…’ – this brings awareness to a form of tension that cannot be released by relaxing only by letting go and surrender. Relaxing simply means to stop the activity of contracting muscles, but letting go and surrender ask you to allow, to let happen, to be. It opens you up much deeper, allowing space and expansion and that happens for the most part in the connective tissue. Here we get to feel a whole new level of our innate sensitivity and tenderness that clearly relates back to the genuineness of how and who all men are before taking on the rough and tough image.
Great point beautifully expressed Alex and this is so important to ‘flesh out’ (pun intended). Our connective tissue shows us that we have the capacity and even the responsibility to go so much deeper than learning how to relax. It is, as you state, about surrender – something that in our hardness, we men in particular hold aversion to, because the hardness reinforces the role of being in control as ‘the provider’ or ‘the protector’. How crazy is it that taking on such roles may be contributing to abusing those people in our lives about whom we we hold the ideal that we are meant to protect?! True surrender is surrendering the roles, the way they change our physicality, the hurts we hold in our bodies through not having chosen this in our past, plus surrendering to the truth that we are deeply tender and loving beings in the first place.
You bring in two aspects here, letting go and surrender, that really make a difference to life.
It has become so “normal” also for women to be hard in our bodies, that we lost the actual feeling, how it feels in our bodies to be tender and sensitive. Due to that we miss out on a lot of things that we would be able to feel otherwise. And I agree Simon, ECTT is a great modality to support us back to that natural sensitivity.
Great point Judith. For me the hardness I went into, covered up my delicateness. It has been a process to let the hardness go and recently I have been able to feel my delicateness again and I LOVE IT!
This is excellent Simon, thanks for sharing. I love how our body is all connected and is very sensitive. These modalities are a true miracle for helping men and women to release hardness in their body and return to their natural energetic flow. I don’t know how many of us would realise the way we have been conditioned to use our bodies and that they are operated in such a hard way all of the time. Im blessed to have support from practitioners that Practice ECTT and it is nothing like ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy) used in Mental health patients. The thought of the latter scares me a lot.
Thank you Simon for inspiring me to really be aware of what is going on in the world, with what we hear, see and feel everyday – and if something is not right – to not hold back in exposing it. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, is a modality that my body loves and aligns to. It is incredible, that such gentle and subtle harmonious movements have deep profound effects on our physiology, psychology and energetic state of being. It definitely allows you to connect to a deeper movement within the body, allowing you to release the tension and expand.
A super informative blog that increases awareness by all that is revealed.
Thank you for taking the time to explain hardness and its effect on the body and our lives and the miracle that is Connective Tissue Therapy.
I love ECTT. I love to go for a gentle walk after a session because the body feels so spacious. Hardness is an illness that creeps up on you and before you know it, you feel like a plank of wood. The antidote is a developing and ever deepening connection with how the body is feeling inside.
I agree on feeling spaciousness after an ECTT session. I had ECTT throughout my last pregnancy and the space and flow that it brought to my changing and rapidly growing body was very supportive.
This is a beautiful blog showing the amazing benefits of connective tissue therapy and all it offers the world for all of us. It demonstrates clearly how it works and feels and needs to be shared and known by everyone, what a gift this would be.
I can so relate to a hardness in my body. Even after years of modifying and adjusting my way of living, there is a perpetual call to go deeper. I can feel my heart harden showing me there’s more for me to accept, more for me to explore, more of me and more from me to love. What a blessing to be able to feel this and understand it’s a gentle nudge forward with humanity.
Incredible what you are sharing here Simon Voysey and so glad you made a choice to write this and state what Connective Tissue is and how the ECTT – Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy works and the results you have had.
From my own lived experience I have found the most subtle and powerfull release in my body which I was not even aware of with ECTT. This form of healing is light years ahead and I just wish we could educate men and women about the hardness you talk about here which can come from a reaction.
This blog is profound and deserves a few more reads to grasp the grandness of what is truly being presented. Thank You sincerely.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is deeply restorative, it has made a profound difference to my own body. It’s not just men who use hardness to tough things out, but as women we harden to get through life and to get things done. I have found this therapy to support my ability to let go and feel my sensitivity and delicateness.
It’s very true that when we feel frustrated or angry any of us can be capable of anything. The hardness that we create in our bodies when we experience these intensified emotions can enable us to move in a rough way, speak to someone with disrespect, or even cause physical harm. It is a way of masking the tender vulnerable person underneath. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy enables us to let go of the hardness that can cause harm to ourselves and others, and reminds us of the beauty of our true nature that is waiting for us underneath.
Thank you Simon I really enjoyed reading your blog – It brings such clarity to an already amazing healing modality for those who have yet to experience this for themselves. The first session I ever received from Kate Greenaway opened my eyes but importantly my body to all the holding on and hardness that I’d accumulated over the years. No surprise that after even one session I walked out the door with a completely different awareness of my whole body. For the first time ever I could feel how tension, stress and hard physical activity had left its mark on a somewhat delicate body. (and mind)
I too have found that having ECTT sessions have given me a much greater awareness of my body and also how I move. This modality really opens up so much physically and psychologically.
There can’t be too much of this sharing Marion and Robyn, thank you. ECTT is a remarkable form of healing and so many people are getting remarkable results. But these are not only results about an immediate release in our bodies, but as you state, about becoming more responsible for how we treat our bodies.
This is a ground breaking article, offering all those working in the field of domestic violence, social work, psychology etc etc the insight of why domestic violence occurs and therefore a way out of it. It is not enough to say ‘don’t do it!”, that feels like throwing oil onto a fire; rather offer an understanding why violence is a chosen behaviour and that there is science behind the why through the understanding of esoteric connective tissue therapy. I would love to see this article in a medical journal.
The adopted hardness in men that you speak of Simon is so obvious. Everyday I see men holding themselves and walking in a way where they look puffed up. This becomes more extreme when I have seen men fighting or looking for one – they hold there arms out wide and roll their shoulders forward. This is interesting considering one of our most delicate areas is around our shoulders. There is great strength and power in a man who isn’t afraid to feel and show his innate beauty.
There is an amazing strength and power in a man who has dropped back into their tenderness and innate beauty, I completely agree with you Abby. I just melt when I feel this in a man. Mind you I melt when I feel it in me too 🙂
Simon thank you for sharing your insight into how our connective tissue works in our bodies, and how it is affected by the choices we make. It is amazing the difference that can be felt when we start treating our bodies more gently. Since attending Esoteric Connective Tissue Courses and also receiving these sessions I have become more aware of how the quality with which I live affects the flow or stagnation in my body. Really enjoyed reading this article. I can feel your love of the body in your writing.
Simon such a beautifully balanced article. You have brought in a great blend of explanation and your own lived experience to give a really clear picture of just how important the connective tissue is in our lives. Your description of how people walk around as if they are wearing a suit of armor really rang true for me. I was a walking fortress for many years, it feels completely different now to be in a body that is much more fluidy in how it feels, I have my sensitivity back which is a blessing not a curse.
Simon, after reading your blog relating to the role of our connective tissue, and how it responds to every one of our behaviours and experiences, even unto ‘being insulted’ I found to be extremely revealing – and has offered me an even deeper appreciation of my connective tissue within this body. I too can express how amazing the Universal Medicine Modalities are as presented by Serge Benhayon, and I have had personal experience with the efficacy, gentleness and true healing power of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy work as shared by Kate Greenaway as I am continuing to address truly healing this body.
Thank you for sharing your awesome article Simon , too often in my life I have reacted to life and people because what was offering did not fit in to what I thought was it or my image and with that a body feeling of tension and then a hardening in reaction to something I have taken as a personal assault on me or should I say the image I have of myself . Over years this hardening and holding on to a self proclaimed image presents itself in the many multitudes of modern symptoms of ill health that plague our ability to live a vital life and the effects this hardening has on our relationships where by we always come from the stand point of protection and there fore behave in an offensive manner not allowing a true flow of love through our body and relationships. To feel with awareness this hardening and holding back with the support of modalities such as Esoteric Connective Tissue is a release of much built up tension and a feeling of ease and openness of a free flowing body that is more allowing and accepting of a lightness that we share and a denseness we feel but don’t have to attach to.
Thank you again Simon for this incredibly beautiful blog, which makes so much sense. I would like to say how I appreciate having Connective Tissue Therapy as a part of my life. Some years ago I was living on a stunningly beautiful island, partly out of a desire to be surrounded by nature, party out of the desire to ‘hide out from the world’. The delivery of groceries system that was in place for some years was closed down due to a ruling about cars on the island made by the local council. This meant that we had to carry our groceries, without the aid of vehicles, up many many stairs and often a long 15-20 minute walk on top of this. In order to keep this lifestyle, and choose to hide away, I had to carry the groceries which meant huge abuse to my back and shoulders. I had to go to the chiropractor every three weeks to keep functioning.
After choosing to come up north, to live in a place where I could park near the house and unload groceries form there, and after having three Connective Tissue Therapy sessions with Kate Greenaway, my shoulder and back pain just melted away. This was a miraculous thing to feel and witness. The ctts sessions in combination with my choice to be practical about shopping and carrying did it.
Humanity is influenced profoundly by the pressures of a society that promotes being ‘successful’ as the ‘Holy Grail’ of life. Succumbing to these pressures are reflected powerfully in our bodies and because they start from such a young age are difficult initially to expose. The combination of lifestyle, words and actions bind people up and until there is a crisis, the bind can remain in tact. The amazing modality Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is one of those answers available to releasing this bind. Thanks Simon.
The hardness we live with can become so normalised. We walk around in t-shirts in winter and wonder why others feel the cold, or eat foods that numb or excite the body without feeling any real effect. No wonder we can put up with abuse in its many forms, with the more subtle forms passing easily through the gatekeeper. Connective tissue therapy is a fantastic modality where we get to feel ourselves again and that which we carry, by feeling what we carry we are able to nominate this and release it becoming more light and free as a result. Our innate sensitivity when it is nurtured imparts such wisdom that will guide us safely through life.
It is hard to watch. I am a Secondary School Teacher and I watch beautiful tender boys at the age of 12 begin to dramatically change as they harden to protect themselves from what they feel happens at school and because that is what society has said for them to be. Some can hold their tenderness for longer, but from observation, a lot of that tenderness has gone by year 10.
As with all the modalities bought through by Universal Medicine, Connective Tissue Therapy is simply amazing and truly healing to the body. I found I was able to really feel that hardness that I most of the time didn’t even know was there, let alone know how to heal it. Connective Tissue Therapy has played a huge role in letting go of the hardness in my body and re connecting to the love that is within.
This article truly honours Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy for what it truly offers which is to support true healing in the body from the hardness that we carry from not being and living as we naturally are. A brilliant perspective that can particularly offer men struggling with these issues a true and real perspective on being a man.
Simon I also didn’t realise how much hardness I hold in my body until experiencing Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and Connective Tissue Exercise classes. The more these modalities help me to release the natural flow of my connective tissue the more uncomfortable the hardness feels, the more I realise the depths of how it is caused by me protecting myself from others and life and the more I want to release myself from the above. These modalities have offered a very true medicine for me.
“At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.” When I read this line I understood on another level the importance of us dealing with our hurts in order not to walk around in contraction and the affects that this has on our overall wellbeing. When we are in that contraction, because our body is hard, it is difficult to even know that this is what we are doing. ECTT offers us the opportunity to feel a different way of being in our body, one where we feel the flow and loveliness of our natural state of being. Awesome sharing Simon.
Hardening our body is probably one of the most common conditions which generally we do not even consider a condition yet it affects our entire body. When we harden to protect ourselves and I know I have lived this way all my life then we stop the flow of energy and indeed love in our body. Esoteric Modalities and in particular Connective Tissue Therapy have supported feeling that hardness and its affect. Learning to let go of the hardness and become more tender with myself and others is an ongoing process.
Connective Tissue therapy is going to be huge in the future when people really start recognising the benefits and it is confirmed scientifically. I have had pain in my left hip for quite some time and after only one ECTT The pain was greatly relieved.
A most interesting article Simon, looking at the hardness we men hold in our bodies as a more tangible and workable thing. It makes so much sense and I look forward to my next Connective Tissue session to release a bit more of the locked up hardness still remaining in my body.
Thank you Simon for taking the time to put this together it is a valuable insight to the link that connective tissue plays in our bodies. I also appreciate that you are saying to men that sensitivity is what is needed, I feel there has been a lot of discussion in the media about what is not OK but we still seem to get stuck at this point rather than calling out what is needed.
Esoteric Connectie Tissue Therapy is a modality made and from Heaven that’s for sure and so needed in a world where we are asked to be driven and hard women and men equally. When let go of our protection, the hardness we feel how sensitive and tender we are like you say ‘Letting go of hartens and honouring my deeper sensitivity has led to a tender, loving way of being that has positively affected my whole life, including all of my relationships.’
Having taken part in some Esoteric Connective Tissue classes, I could not believe the difference in either my own body or the bodies of the other participants. It was something you could both see and feel and on reflection and reading your blog Simon it is easy to see the correlation between the hardening in the body and numbing to sensitivity and feelings and vice versa.
As you mentioned Lucy Simon’s blog has brought a deeper understanding of how numbing of the body does dampen down the feelings of sensitivity. I often wonder what it would be like to live in a world where sensitivity is honoured and a marker of how we can build a deeper understanding of one another that could alter the levels of tolerance too.
I have begun to greatly honour my own sensitivity, and living in the world has changed. I now meet beautiful people in shops, walking along the street, in the supermarket. In fact, every where I go. What this is showing me is that through me honouring my sensitivity, what I am living is reflected back to me constantly. We each of us hold the power to bring this back into the world.
Our connective tissue is so very sensitive to the slightest thought, I can feel mine tightening many times during the day. The connection to how we are being in the world and how it affects our connective tissue can not be ignored. Simon I love the way you have guided us through how much our connective tissue and everything that it holds in our bodies is directly affected when we harden to life.
Yes, it is amazing how the experiences that we have in life have an affect on our bodies in a way that we do not usually consider, yet have a profoundly deep impact. I never thought that my connective tissue had any other function than to connect my muscles and bones to one another, and yet what I have experienced is that it is so very important and registers everything that we do. Simon’s blog has upped that understanding yet again.
I agree Leigh, it is through our thoughts that we greatly affect our connective tissue – I notice I become tense in certain areas of my body and if not released my body becomes hardened and soon enough I can accept this as the norm.
I love this Leigh and am going to be paying more attention to my connective tissue and how it responds to the choices I make.
I agree, Leigh, being aware of our body’s connective tissue and its response to our thoughts is a great way to develop a deep and loving tenderness in our bodies.
I feel what you are saying Leigh and can really sense that connective tissue in my body, when it tightens and when it is at ease. It’s quite remarkable really the level to which we actually can feel.
Simon, I enjoyed how you unpacked exactly how connective tissue works in our bodies and how deeply sensitive it is. I would say that today pretty much everyone carries some degree of hardening to cope with a world that is not a very loving place and then of course we no longer feel that hardness as it is our normal. Connective Tissue Therapy is indeed a blessing offered as a way out of this mess, showing us how it feels to let go of the guarding and hardening and reclaim our sensitivity – everyone should try it. Regular sessions over time heighten our sensitivity so we register the hardening and have the choice to let go.
Absolutely Josephine, the hardening everybody carries in their bodies is massive and due to the hardness we are not even aware of it and it is holding us back from our true expression. There is this illusion about toughening up to cope with life and living life from this kind of warrior perspective, always ready to face any situation and know how to deal with it from a well built protection. But we all know and medicine has shown this over and over again, we are sensitive beings and we feel everything and the more we are aware of what is going on the better we understand life. We have to embrace our sensitivity, tenderness, delicateness and fragility and the ECTT is an amazing modality to support us to connect to those absolute true qualities of any human being. Through the esoteric modalities we learn to observe life and not absorb it and to honor our sensitivity.
When I read your comment rachelandras, what stood out for me was the word ‘warrior.’ Life is seen as a battle, a fight to get through. It seems the majority of us accept it is so. I am so glad with the help of ECTT that I no longer live my life like it’s a battle. Embracing our ‘our sensitivity, tenderness, delicateness and fragility’ is so important, and as you say they are ‘absolute true qualities of any human being.’
I have found that regular Connective Tissue sessions enabled me to recognise when I was beginning to harden and my body clocked this and I was able to know that there was another way to be with the body. Connective Tissue develops a loving connection to the body and once connected to, hardness is easily felt and another way to be with the body is on offer if we choose. Society has normalised hardness so it is difficult to see and feel that this isn’t a true way for us. Thank goodness for Connective Tissue Therapy by Universal Medicine.
I agree Josephine, we all carry some degree of hardness. So beautiful is this therapy that we get to feel ourselves once again.
I think that’s a great point Josephine – that we can get used to being hard in our body and so not even notice it as hardness; until we are offered a moment whereby we get to be more aware of how we truly feel. Connective Tissue Therapy and in fact all the Universal Medicine Therapies are great for giving us the space to really feel what’s going on inside and open up to living in a different way.
Yes Fiona, and once we connect to ourselves in those precious moments, it feels so good and expansive, it starts the process of unfoldment back to our true selves no matter how long that may take.
In a world that is so hard, fast paced and stressful the Connective Tissue modality is an absolute blessing giving us a space to feel safe again and embrace the true gentleness and love we are from.
Isn’t it amazing how Serge Benhayon has brought to the world in such a simple way how our bodies hold the key to how we live and not just personally live, but as one humanity as well. Understanding our connective tissue and what its true function in supporting and protecting our body means, holds much greater significance than simply physical support and protection. Before Serge had spoken about this, connective tissue was just a physical aspect of the body only understood to be an adjunct to organs and other body systems. Now we have an understanding we can take to the world that brings true appreciation of how we connect to each other and live in relationship to each other, right down to the physical understanding of the way we choose to live in our bodies.
My body was once very hard, in the way I moved and in the way it felt. I have found Esoteric modalities including Connective Tissue Therapy deeply supportive personally. I work as a Sports and Remedial Massage Therapist and have found it beneficial concerning a general awareness of how to support myself to deliver my work and I now offer clients some of the Esoteric Modalities through being a member of the (EPA) Esoteric Practitioners Association. They are amazing modalities that truly work with and complement conventional medical practice.
Samantha my body was also once very hard, it still is at times. But now with the support of Connective Tissue Therapy I am able to register this hardness and stop and choose a more nurturing way to be with my body. The modalities of Universal Medicine should be known and practiced by all. We would see the terrible statistics of domestic violence drop, injuries and accidents drop and the wellbeing of people improve dramatically. It would be incredible for everyone to know about Connective Tissue and I hope blogs like these open the door for someone to give it a go.
My body was very hard which has me reflecting that as women the hardening we go into must take us further away than men from our natural way of being. We are most definitely not meant to be so hard and competing with men. Connective tissue is needed for us all so that we can all be supported back to how we are when young, free to move about in our bodies with an ease, lightness, playfulness and joy.
I share your experience. As an osteopath and deep tissue massage therapist in the past it took me a while to truly appreciate the depth of healing the Universal Medicine Therapies and especially ECCT offer as they are so gentle and non-manipulative but most inviting for the client to open themselves to their own healing process. ECCT takes bodywork to another dimension.
“This increased sensitivity and awareness has also become a whole new foundation for the way I live and brought a new more gentle quality to everything I do, which has greatly increased my level of vitality and my sense of wellbeing.” Listening to our bodies and honouring what our bodies are telling us is key to developing this sensitivity and awareness…when we are hard there is no room for sensitivity and no true connection to our body and its natural wisdom.
I can also vouch for this transformative Esoteric Healing modality with every cell in my body Simon. ECTT supports the body to deepen, allowing access to what it is we’re actually moving with everywhere we go. To experience the depth with which such a connection can be made is life changing.
Once you get to feel that expansion and flow in your body it really is life changing Giselle, especially as it occurs from such a simple, gentle practice. It has shown me if someone can bring this awareness of my body so simply and it so easy to surrender to, then I have that choice for myself.
This is a great blog Simon. The hardness we carry as a protection is really suffocating us – not allowing any love in or out. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is without doubt a subtle yet powerful modality that acts to gently address this hardness that isn’t truly supporting the body.
Yes Shelley it is so very subtle yet so powerful. It is amazing that something so gentle and subtle can truly transform years/decades/life times of hardness and to allow us to feel the love that we truly are within.
What a beautiful blog about the deep healing that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers in a world where most people live with a protection. We are so used to living with hardness that you can only experience how much hardness you carry when you actually have a connective tissue session. Even one session is enough to reflect back how naturally tender we are.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if in high school connective tissue was offered instead of sport that hardens the body? The changes in society would be truly felt and seen and we would begin to stop championing men to be rough and tough and know the key to wellbeing is to connect to our essence and to let go of hardness.
Yes, imagine if sport became something that was honouring of the body rather than overriding the body and connective tissue was offered as a subject, I would definitely be first in line for that school.
It is comforting to know that eventually this will be the way in the future. For the choices we are now making in Education and sport cannot be sustained by the human body to be the true way forward.
That’s a real wowser of a suggestion, Tracy. My only addition would be to add this to the curriculum in primary school – the primary aged children I work with react to the education system by hardening and holding themselves in some rather strange postures, especially when writing or playing sport (!). We have cultivated “learning posture,” which is derived from esoteric connective tissue therapy, and that re aligns their bodies while in the classroom. Breaktimes and sport, I have observed, bring different choices…
Absolutely Coleen. The earlier anyone can connect with Universal Medicine modalities the better.
Absolutely Mariette, it really is extraordinary how much we have lost touch with our natural way of being and how rough and tough has become the ‘norm’ it is a miracle to have such amazing modalities to bring us back to such truth in such a simple way.
Yes, Simon’s article paints the picture of what life is like for boys and men and the toll this takes on the body. To have available a healing modality that supports our bodies return to their gentle and harmonious ways of being is truly a gift from God and should be available to everyone.
This is very true. We become so desensitised to the hardness until we experience a marker of true harmony in the body and true flow.
Yes Deborah, I found my first session of ECTT allowed me to remember how lovely and gentle my body and my connection to it can be. It was a sense of coming home to a way of being I had long forgotten. Harmony and true flow are great words to describe it.
I agree Mariette, Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is fantastic for becoming aware of hardness held in the body, and even hardness in our attitudes and ways of being – I love how this article links how the body and attitudes can feed each other. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a god send, hardening can be a difficult cycle to break, as the hardening itself numbs and brings denseness, so the hardness goes undetected and can accumulate.
I had an amazing experience doing Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy, it was really softening in my body and it felt so gorgeous inside me. As a man, I was always looking on the outside of me to feel completed, but from the time I met with Serge Benhayon, everything changed. I could feel that everything I was looking for was already there for me. This mean not relying on a job or a partner, friends or relatives, what they do or how they are, not looking for approval, recognition from society, not getting affected by the weather, the sun will always be shining inside me.
Our perspective, belief, ideals and life experiences have a powerful effect on our body where all create a hardness, which we believe protects us as we continue through life. It is amazing how an Esoteric Connective Tissue therapist using tender and loving touch and movement can guide our body towards release. It is a beautiful thing to experience. Thank you Simon for sharing your understanding of this very healing modality.
What’s a grand illusion is the hardness doesn’t protect us. It actually keeps love from coming in or out and has huge impacts on society, as Simon has articulated. I’ve personally learnt that hardening doesn’t protect me, love does.
…”men needed to get rid of the rough and tough image of what it was to be a man.” With so many images and ideas about what being a man is it is great that we have Serge Benhayon, Michael, Curtis and now a whole body of men showing us how to live as a true man, with tenderness and love. The hardness is gone and replaced with a genuine openness and warmth that can be felt in an instant and with that an inner strength and a knowing that they do not need to be or prove anything in this world.
The bombardment of images for men to be big, strong and muscly is everywhere now. It’s so prolific that there is a term coined ‘bigorexia’. Men are made to feel that if they are not big or strong that they are not masculine. Both genders are being imposed upon to look a certain way and none of these images truly celebrate the love that we innately all are. Statistics like domestic violence will continue to escalate and people’s overall health will deteriorate while we have this belief that being hard protects us. We must begin to feel that hardness doesn’t support our body and choose a more loving way to be. Connective Tissue allows us to feel this hardness and then to let it go by being more loving with the body. A truly remarkable modality.
Thanks Simon, for sharing your experience and understanding of connective tissue therapy, which I have tried and through it have really noticed the hardness of where my body has been at. I have found that my body responds well to it naturally and, pushing / hardening is really just a choice away.
A great understanding Simon of our bodies and the hardness and way of living that men have imposed on them and women also in different ways. It is a sadness and feels horrible to live like this inside us, against who we really are, and adds to the hardness and tough ways and abuse accepted also.
I am amazed by the expansion, letting go, general flow and aliveness felt in my body with Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and all it offers us in feeling who we really are. It is a really beautiful, very necessary and deeply needed modality that humanity has been offered to restore us from the harm we do to ourselves. Esoteric Medicine with its modalities and living ways is an absolutely vital part of life, medicine and our health. Thank you Serge Benhayon.
Thank you Simon. I have found Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy extremely supportive and fully endorse the healing qualities and benefits of the modality. It has been wonders for my body, a little physical example is I had quite bad rotator cuff (shoulder) problems and after about 3 sessions with Kate Greenaway it had pretty much disappeared and I could treat it like the problem had not been there before. This had been after giving up on trying to resolve it after lots of physio and other things years earlier.
It is incredible how quickly you can feel the body respond to Connective Tissue. After over a decade of trying so many modalities that didn’t work, Connective Tissue Therapy was very quick to heal deep hardening in my body.
I agree Tracy, the body, at least in my experience, like yours is incredibly responsive to connective tissue therapy. One of the great things I have found about it is that is helps me to let go and surrender by helping me to release the tension I have been living with. I would highly recommend it for everyone.
That truly is amazing James and does highlight the power of this modality. Thank you.
Thank you Simon for your exploration of behaviour in men and what happens when we choose hardness and protection over gentleness and love. Women too have developed guardedness and become hard in their bodies. Slowly, I am learning to surrender to my intrinsic loveliness and when I feel hurt to not to brace, but simply feel it, reflect and let it go.
I was giving a treatment to a family member recently, and the difference in just a few minutes was incredible. Her body is wasting away over the last three years owing to an illness, and there have been some major operations along the way. The feeling when I started was hard and with limited flex. As the treatment continued it was like the body remembers, there was an elasticity that comes back so quickly. Through this difficult time we are going to repeat the treatment regularly to remind her (and her body) that no matter what the illness, life and love still flow through you till your dying breath.
How beautiful and supportive to be able to perform this modality on a family member. In the future this will be common practice.
Yes, perhaps Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy could also be beneficial for dementia sufferers, in particular if the control of their muscles and communication between the brain and body is deteriorating.
This is a beautiful confirmation to have simonwilliams8 ’till your dying breath’. I also have practiced Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy on a family member in the late stages of cancer and found the amount of letting go that occurred in body, in particular through the legs to be incredibly powerful.
A fabulous article Simon.You explain Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy so clearly. The ideals that men take on about being rough and tough does so much harm, not just in the case of possible domestic violence, but also as you say to their own bodies. ECCT is amazing in the way that it can re-introduce all of us to the natural, gentle, sensitive beings that we naturally are. What a difference this could have on the world of domestic violence.
What a great explanation and summary of what ‘hardness’ is and how it impacts our bodies and our lives. I also love Simon how you have described the connective tissue system as the bridge between our emotions and our physical body and the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy from my experience both as a client and practitioner can have a marked effect on both.
I love how you explain in physiological terms how going into hardness affects our bodies and then consequently how we behave. I don’t think there is one person on this planet (man, woman or child) who has not gone into hardness as a form of protection so as not to get hurt….. And there are layers to this hardness, as recently I got to observe another layer of hardness being released from my body. I have had many ECCT sessions which have been a huge support in breaking down my hardness layers…..Thank you for this super blog Simon, one I will revisit many times.
This is an awesome article Simon which shares so much about the connective tissue and the wonders of Connective Tissue Therapy. It has been an absolute joy to witness the changes in you over the last 8 years to the gorgeous tender man that you now show the world – without the protection that was once there when I first met you. It really is like you are a completely different person. Seeing the changes in you inspired me too to explore the Esoteric Therapies in which I am deeply grateful for.
The hardness in our connective tissue and through that in our body, is an enormous guard to the world. While when I am letting go, I am feeling an even bigger strength in my body which doesn’t need a guard, because it is just me.
Yes it is hard to watch fathers beat their sons up and sons being told to toughen up and stop being a sissy. Also there are a few women who beat their sons / husbands or partners up as well. Thanks to Serge Benhayon who has shown us another way by his living in gentle energy. His family also live in this gentle energy as do the practitioners from different parts of the world. Domestic violence never solves any thing. Thank you Simon Voysey for bringing this subject up. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a wonderfull healing modality.
You have opened the door to something grand Simon, something that needs to be explored to a very deep and revealing level. To date we have approached our emotional problems as just that – purely emotional and utterly unrelated to our physicality. Yet it is from the physical body, with its organs and systems that our emotions arise. They, our emotions and body, are not indivisible, although science has not as yet established the precise means by which they are connected.
It is Connective Tissue therapy that make the connection very clear, both as client and practitioner. The body deeply settles into itself through the session and it does not just clear the hardness with its anger and frustration, but it makes the discordancy of those emotions so very apparent.
How may of our personal and societal woes arise from the disconnection to our bodies, and the hardness we have adopted and learned to ignore.
I love the ‘connection’ point you have made about ‘Connective Tissue’, Rachel: ‘It is Connective Tissue therapy that make the connection very clear, both as client and practitioner. The body deeply settles into itself through the session and it does not just clear the hardness with its anger and frustration, but it makes the discordancy of those emotions so very apparent.’ Using a precise science (which is yet to be fully documented) this therapy takes a multi-dimensional approach to healing, which demonstrates the very ‘wholeness’ you are presenting here. The ill first begins to be cleared and then the awareness of how we are being and what we are doing becomes very clear and apparent. Our bodies teach us this truth. Connective Tissue therapy is one of the most amazing modalities available to man. Thank you Serge Benhayon and thank you Simon for writing this awesome blog.
I love the simplicity and everyday way you wrote “….science has not as yet established….” it could be said science has not yet established ‘precise means’ to measure many things yet this does not make them unscientific or false. Just today I had a conversation with someone measuring blinds in my home about her father and how it was not accident to her that his knee injury that has landed him in hospital came the evening before he was to have a confronting conversation with someone that he had long feared and delayed. Later in the afternoon I visited a high school and another lady spoke of how her neck had stiffened as her daughter was stressed by exams and her own mother is unwell. In just one day here are two examples of physical symptoms being presented in the context of an emotional component and influence- its in our every day language and how we communicate with each other.
That is true Deanne. That is the way regular people speak about their health concerns – the emotional aspects just make simple common sense, eveni f we do not express them in the same way to our doctors.
This is a grounding breaking and truly healing blog Simon, you have described the whole picture (energetic, emotional, psychological and physiological) of what happens when we are violent or abusive to each other. You have described so beautifully where this behaviour comes from, and the effects on our bodies, highlighting a little appreciated body system – the connective tissue. When we can understand the root cause of something, modalities such as Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can offer the possibility for true healing, rather than just a removal of symptoms.
Thank you Simon. I love the understanding that you have shared around how men can be in this blog. Everything you say about Connective Tissue Therapy, I second. It is an amazing modality and a true blessing. You have explained the physiological function of connective tissue beautifully as have you explained the true benefits of Connective Tissue Therapy.
Johanna I do not know of one person who has experienced Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and not been amazed at how deeply relaxed and at ease they feel afterwards. It is truly a blessing to share this modality.
It’s true; as a society we need to address the promotion of the image that men should be ‘rough and tough’ and be willing to see the harm that this causes by subverting their natural way of being. It’s beautiful to read Simon about how much you have been supported in your whole way of being in life by the Universal Medicine modalities Esoteric Healing and Connective Tissue Therapy.
We sure do Fiona, men are bombarded with so many ‘rough and tough’ images and ideas of how a man should be we often get so confused. I wrote a great article which supports this and what Simon has said, http://www.unimedliving.com/men/true-man/men-are-we-set-up-to-fail.html, it is worth checking it out!
Thank you Simon for explaining in more detail the ramifications of the hardening in the body and the effects to both men and women.. It’s so true everything is interconnected and we see and feel the results of the way we choose to live in our bodies.
I can fully support what you say about Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy Simon, when I have a session I can feel my body re-aligning and re-adjusting and by the end of the session I can feel a few inches taller and my body feels fuller and more expanded. Your description of ECTT has helped me understand what happens when our body hardens and the affect it has on our muscles and ultimately the way we behave.
This is a great blog Simon, I especially love the paragraph about connective tissue and way that you expain how it wraps round all parts of our body. What an amazing thing this connective tissue is, which as well as holding the large organs is also supporting all the little intricate things inside. Beautiful!
As an exercise professional, it is so amazing that you have experienced the letting go of the hardness in your body and your exercise practice Simon. I see the way trainers operate their classes and feel how it is sustaining the hardness we are generally living in. And the gyms, with the loud music and celebrity tv keeping us looking outwards rather than feeling our bodies as we move. Through the work of Universal Medicine, there are now exercise professionals who are teaching a true way to exercise, including offering the gentle breath meditation and connective tissue exercises as a foundation before beginning a workout. It is a joy to see the new way emerging that will truly support humanity to let go of living in hardness.
Wow Emma, amazing comments and I am so glad you have noticed trainers beginning to bring that deeper awareness and gentleness to people’s bodies in exercise.
Thank you Simon. In the 2 years before I moved from Melbourne, I worked with an amazing exercise professional and through her support, I have been able to feel and see this so clearly. It is a powerful way of building a strong foundation in our lives and this work is very much needed.
Great description of hardness Simon and how it affects our health. The expansion I feel in receiving connective tissue therapy is beyond words. The integration of this feeling and allowing myself to live in this expansion is the work that lies between sessions.
Recognising and letting go of living in hardness is equally important for women as it is for men, although the beliefs that boys are raised with really need to be looked at; expecting men to be tough and not cry and then wonder why they become so desensitized and at the extreme of domestic violence playing out. It changes the game completely when we realize how very sensitive we ALL are and allow ourselves to live in this sensitivity, which is in fact our true power, NOT the hardness and toughness.
How Beautiful and Clear written Simon. I totally agree. Whenever I have a ECTT session, I am experiencing the sensitivity and the delicacy of who I actually am. I’m learning to hold that throughout my days as well which is work in progress. I don’t always find it easy to live and experience so much hardness and also choose to shut down my sensitivity as well. But through experiencing this modality, I’ve got a knowing in my body of who I truly am. As I wrote on LinkedIn, the answer to all domestic violence – Men coming back to their sensitivity.
Like you Floris, I’ve experienced it and am now learning to take that into my everyday life… a work in progress but one that is definitely worth committing to.
It’s so great to read about other men as well as women experiencing their true sensitivity and tenderness and really appreciating it and not shying away from embracing who we are.
We live as if we are constantly in flight or fight mode… the armour is on and the body tense, under the illusion we are ready and protected from whatever hurt will come our way. But as you have shared here, it is when we let this go and honour our sensitivity and choose to live the tenderness we naturally are, that we allow our awareness, relationships and life to blossom without that physical and emotional facade of hardness that denies us the exquisite connection and quality that can be truly lived.
The analogy you used Simon of: “wearing a suit of amour everyday”, referring to the hardness and protection that men walk around in everyday, felt very accurate. In this hard protected and numb state of shutting down one’s feelings and sensitivity it is very easy for men to over react to perceived threats, in fact we are at the mercy of whatever is in front of us. ‘Shut down men’ can easily be sent to war to kill other men who are also in the same shut down hardness, men that are in fact their fellow brothers.
Simon thank you for this informative article, you’ve explained ‘hardness’ in the body and its repercussions so very simply, clearly, logically and in a way I’ve not previously considered. Having experienced the ‘ripple effect’ of Connective Tissue Therapy I can unreservedly recommend its gentle yet miraculous results.
The detail and care you bring to this blog Simon is beautifully fitting. What comes through to me in reading your words is how we actually choose emotional reaction as a form of protection, perpetuating hardness. It helps me understand that the reaction is not just what it seems to be, but connected to my relationship with my preciousness and everything I feel.
An awesome blog, Simon. You have identified such an important factor that all men encounter in being a man, and the ramifications of the behaviour of hardening ourselves. The fact is that if we wear armour on the outside we not only do not let things in, but we also wear it on the inside and cannot let things out.
I am seeing the way I react in a whole new light after reading this article. I had not equated my out of proportion reactions to emotional dysfunction before and now that this link has been presented it seems so obvious I cannot believe I didn’t see it before. I can feel how much my body has needed to harden to cope with the constant assault of reaction I put it through. I have always found ECTT very beneficial and this article allows me to understand exactly why this modality is so needed and powerful.
I appreciate Leonne how you point out here our reactions are something we put our bodies through, reactions don’t just happen to us because something happens and so essentially it is our reactions that we need to be more responsible for.
What you are sharing Simon, should be part of every boy’s education growing up, to de-bunk (or undo) the myth of the ‘boys don’t cry’ attitude and messages boys and men are fed. The world is desperately crying out for all men to embrace their tender (not weak or pathetic) nature.
So true Thomas how much would such education allow boys to let go of that build up of hardness and protection around trying to be a man? How much would that then flow on to girls and eventually into life long relationships that honour true strength with tenderness?
I found your article very enlightening Simon, the simple way you explained the physical and physiological effects ‘hardness’ has on our bodies, also the way we can over-react to situations if we feel threatened, thank you for shedding light on this subject.
Beautiful Doug, this is gold what you say. Thank God for the Esoteric Connective Therapy and thank God for Serge Benhayon, who is bringing back the truth of who we are as men, and as women too. We all have hardened ourselves so much, away from the tenderness we all – men and women – equally are; and when looking at the truth of how people live together it becomes clear that nobody wins out of this hard approach.
The interesting thing is too, that it’s obvious, there is actually no such thing as a ‘tough’ guy. Guys can choose to behave like a tough guy, but their cover is blown forever – they have been outed. All men are really teddy bears, very gentle and caring in essence. The hardness is their way of reacting to the hurts that came their way, from since they were little tender boys, not allowed to be that in the world. Adults put their pictures of what a ‘real’ man should be and act like, on the little innocent boys. This is all our responsibility to turn this lie around, and to re-claiming who we really are, men and women equally.
I love the honesty and openness shared in this article. It’s difficult for someone to open up and be honest about protection and hardness, how this not only affects their life but also affects others. I have for many years reacted immensely to anyone who carries a ‘bite’ or ‘sting’ in their expression, I could never work out what it was but felt like someone was biting my head off or snapping at me with a crocodile mouth every time they spoke, or almost like they were spitting on me. This is sometimes even in normal conversation, not in a heated discussion. It wasn’t until I was willing to look at the protection and hardness that I held in my own body (with the support of all esoteric healing modalities) that I was able to be honest about what I was sharing with others because of the shut downness in my body, and that this cannot be hidden no matter how hard we try. So if we are hard on ourselves in our mind and in our body, then this is the bitterness or sting that others get when we express. Dealing with this in my own body is helping me to be more understanding of others, and react less to what I feel.
Danielle,
Thank you so very much for sharing this. The past couple of days have been so very revealing for me. The choice to hold myself lovingly has deepened and with this deepening I am feeling the consequences of having lived without deeply loving myself.
I have found myself reacting to stuff that has not bothered me for some time. In reading your comment I had a greater understanding as to what is happening for me and can let go and continue to hold myself with the greatest of tenderness as my body lets go of the long buried hardness that I have hidden behind.
It is huge to start to feel the hardness as a ‘tip of the ice berg’ of much holding back and protection literally held there in the body. What you state here Danielle is a great development in understanding of what lies under the surface.
This is an excellent example Danielle of the interplay of our connective tissue and our psychology, how the two influence, and feed off, each other within one’s own body and can then affect other people for better or worse. Thanks for sharing it.
Yes imagine if modern medicine practiced from this ancient wisdom, of the body and it’s connective tissue!
Absolutely Danielle . . . and taking the ball and running with it (sorry ‘walking’!), I can see a time when the two traditions marry. Today I feel myself walking hand in hand with Western Medicine and the modalities of the Ancient Wisdom, merging them in myself and then I (like all of us) carry that to every consultation I go to at the Doctor’s surgery, and eventually the contagious livingness does its thing. All that technical expertise with deep understanding about energy and how it works and what the universal laws are and wow! the human race will come back.
You’re right Lyndy, we’ve been doing this for years and years, but only in pockets or small groups around the world. I know this time the contagiousness and alchemy of this way of being with our bodies means that it will continue to spread throughout all of humanity. It may take time, but time is nothing when we make life about the ancient wisdom.
So true Danielle. No attachment to results, just let’s be this divinity, live this divinity, reflect this divinity. When our relationship to time is understood and embraced instead of treating time as an enemy, there will be no worry or anxiousness over when ‘this will get done’. as you so well said: ‘It may take time, but time is nothing when we make life about the ancient wisdom’.
Working in health, I realise that we have such little understanding of the connective tissue throughout our body and really how responsive it is to how we choose to live. I feel too that it would respond in the same way if we felt we needed to protect ourselves. Not even from anything physical. I know as I child I couldn’t stand being yelled at. It hurt a lot. So I developed behaviours so that anything that resembled being yelled at did not occur. If it did there was a feeling of ‘bunkering down’. I’m only just now realising the extent of this on my body.
We have so discounted the effects of emotional abuse on our bodies and our well-being. To acknowledge these and truly feel these hurts can allow for the bodies to let go of the need for the ongoing use of hardening and protection.
That is the point Jennifer exactly that our connective tissue hardens with non physical insult as well as physical and so it is a great part of shutting down our sensitivity and then, a huge barrier later on in life to wanting to reconnect, feel and open it back up. That is what makes the ECCT so powerful as it allows us to feel so much more of the delicateness underneath the hardness – which I have found to be not at all a scary experience but a very positive and confirming one.
Thank you Simon, I love how you so clearly describe what Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy brings to us; this therapy is absolutely from heaven, supporting us, men and women, to let go of all our hard protective layers. In time we will learn our deeper connection to ourselves and our openness to allow everybody in, are actually our real “protection”.
I really appreciate and enjoyed what you have written here Simon. I got the sense that connective tissue could be likened to an earthquake or tremor detector in its sensitivity. The way we have adapted to live life currently, as you have beautifully described, means we force it to behave more like a shock absorber, braced for the next onslaught. In this braced, therefore hardened state, it is natural that we cannot feel to the levels we are designed to.That makes it easy to harden even more, to our cost.
Connective Tissue Therapy has for me been a magnificent modality, a saving grace quite literally. The hardness and pain and protection I lived in for over 30 years now gone, replaced by a redeveloping sensitivity so exquisite, which means I notice very quickly now when I harden even the tiniest bit. My Connective tissue returning to its ‘tremor detector’ status. What a gift this is right there inside us offering us the opportunity in every moment, to either react (harden), or respond (feel then act appropriately).
As can any child, especially those that are sensitive. That can feel the truth of how the world is and then by looking around think that the only way to get by is to harden to what is felt. I am coming to understand for myself that I had hardened so much, because I am so sensitive. I do wonder just how many others are just like me.
Many people think bracing oneself is a natural, fight or flight response. It may be, but as we have created a society whereby we are continually put into fight or flight situations, the body surely is not equipped to handle this. I think the body is just making it up as it goes along, with the connective tissue hardening as it’s best means of defensiveness. However the body didn’t think about the consequences of hardening up and being defensive so often or for so long – it loses it’s god-given ability to sense, to feel, to deal with what’s thrown it’s way. And violence and aggression becomes ‘normal’.
What a great sharing, Simon. I have experienced Connective Tissue therapy and it is amazing and really shows where we hold the hardness and blocks in our body.
Coming back to our own innate tenderness can be painful as we let go of all the hurts we have been holding but it so well worth it!
Thanks Simon for explaining the harm of ‘hardening the body’, and an insight into the beautiful healing modality of ECTT.
There is so much more to feel in and from our bodies than we usually get taught. In fact our body is our biggest support and best feedback, if we care for it and keep it in a state that we can listen to what it is constantly communicating to us.
It is so true Michael, the body has so much to communicate to us, as it has to live energetically and physically all that we live and choose. What is so well described in this blog is the relationship between our emotional hurts and the physiological effects on our bodies. If we started feeling and dealing with our hurts more, maybe our bodies would not become so diseased, injured and ill.
I agree Michael our bodies our awesome at feeding us back the way we have and are living, they can be the canaries for when things are not right, we only have to listen to them. Otherwise slowly but surely the more we ignore the messages our body is sending us, the harder it is for the messages to get through, even though it never gives up or stops them.
I nurture my son’s sensitivity and tenderness quite openly, but it is clear that this way is opposite to what goes on when I listen and watch what occurs at school. There is a definite hardness that prevails, through competition for both boys and girls, but this is normal in society. If we only realised that we are seeding the future violence and aggression we see everyday in the form of road rage, sporting fights, domestic violence and abuse. The opportunity to nip things in the bud are when we are young.
Mathew that’s true ” we are seeding the future violence and aggression” and yes I have noticed this awareness is slowly coming to the publics attention, I have heard several interviews with sports people saying similiar things without realising the depth of what they were saying…. but it’s a start.
Thank you Simon for describing so clearly what happens to our bodies when we go through life with hardness. I can only agree ECCT is a very powerful modality, it offers the body to deeply let go of all the tension and tightness allowing it to realign to its natural state. I love it and it is a treatment I can the easiest let go of the thoughts and stresses of the day.
Thank you Simon and Esther, I agree, ECTT is also one of the most tender modalities. The techniques when applied by an EPA accredited practitioner can achieve what could be described as ‘miracles’.
This is a remarkable description of the physiological occurrences when we get called names and toughen up inside. If followed through it would bring a lot more responsibility to how we treat men in regards to our expectations of their roles and behaviours. It doesn’t really make any sense that we expect men to act macho and tough and this shows how harming that expectation can be within our tender bodies.
‘Men are conditioned from a very young age to be tough, to not cry, to be insensitive and physiologically this means holding hardness in their bodies.’ I would add, so are girls who are sent to Boarding School at the tender age of 7 – they too have to learn not to cry in order to look strong – coping – not weak, not to be laughed at by older girls. That hardness in a woman’s body can lead to constant underlying anger, judgement and criticism of others and a general spikiness of manner that will not trust or let people in. As a result, developing our natural tenderness can be a challenge, but one that is well worth working on, and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a great way to help us feel that delicate tenderness inside, and helps to make that connection a daily way of living.
That sort of hardness is endemic Carmel. Even regular school toughens us up, with its pressure on children to conform both to educational and peer group expectations.
For men the hardening is at such a very deep level, with the expectations imposed in such a way that they can turn into brutally reactive creatures who beat their partners with fists or with words, when in truth they are anything but that. For women the hardening has its own outward expression. Very different – it may show itself in the acceptance of abuse or a take no prisoners toughness that seeks to conquer the world – but it is just as devastating to both.
Not only do you get these mannerisms Carmel, but the effect on the body of so much hardness in men or women, is crucial… when you consider the effect of that pattern of behaviour lived in a body for 10, 20, 30, 40 years it is no wonder that the rates of illness and disease are in such a shocking state.
This is a great sharing Carmel of the understanding of hardness in girls as well as boys and the devastating psychological effects it can have.
I agree Carmel, developing our tenderness within can be a challenged if we have been brought up in the world where it is all about survival but it is definitely worth it as when I connect and live with that tenderness innately within me there is no reason to be anything else but me.
Hi Carmel, I guess being hard has become the natural way for all of us
in our world where competition is instilled in us at an early age in the hope we do better than those around us. You know better car, better house, better everything.
It takes great courage to surrender to the love we are when the whole world is currently set up to get us to ‘fight’, ‘be tough’, ‘stand strong’. Hardening up to deal with the onslaught, although common, is the coward’s way, for it does not ask that we let go of that which we hold familiar but in-truth, does not serve. True strength comes from a love that is lived and is on show for all to see, regardless of the reaction that may come our way for so doing. It is this that takes courage to embrace, for to do so we need to relinquish our armour and break free of the fortress that we became, when we locked the world out of the great expanse of our heart.
To live the love that we naturally are and allow our vulnerability and fragility to show is indeed a courageous way. But if we can, we will not accumulate this armour of hardness and protection so well described in this blog.
I agree Liane, there is far more courage in standing out as being gentle and tender and being willing to accept the reactions to this and not be swayed or discouraged. We need a new normal of gentle expression by men, encouraged and supported by everyone.
And how powerful is it, when a man is the one to say, ‘C’mon Men, let the tough, hard, protected exterior go; we don’t need it and our women don’t want it’. The men who have already begun to crack their armour need to be standing tall, leading the way, showing other men who are still stuck in aggressive ways, and that aggression might not even be as full-on as domestic violence, it may be a seemingly harmless slightly-too-hard-tug on their son’s arm or teasing a work colleague for putting a jumper on when they felt cold. Domestic violence is going to be stopped by other men standing out and speaking out that it has got to stop. Physical power over another isn’t tough, it’s cowardice.
This is deeply noted Liane, Stephen and Suzanne and others, it is so important for us men to speak up and offer a new way forward for all men. As Serge Benhayon has and is doing.
I love this line Liane –“True strength comes from a love that is lived and is on show for all to see, regardless of the reaction that may come our way for so doing”. This understanding is so needed for both men and women.
So true Liane,
Then when we begin to live our love in the world we are hit head on with the hardness that others carry. In feeling this it only proves to me the absolute importance of living my love, enjoying my days and shining a way to be in the world that oozes tenderness and understanding.
Absolutely Liane, love has it all, strength, power, integrity, responsibility, psychological clarity of self, true tenderness, the ability to stand up for truth, the ability to surrender, being able to look someone in the eyes and claim the humbleness of our true power – bringing this is all a small part of “the great expanse of our heart” For an amazing insight into anxiety see below!
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Yes, it does take courage to be the love that we naturally are as the whole world is set up to reject love. This in itself is hugely revealing.
The world is indeed set up to get us to fight Liane, be tough and strong and in no way we are invited to show our love and live from our hearts. It takes great courage to go against the trend but there is no other way to go as the way we are currently living is only bringing us a life full of misery, forever looking for the love that can be simply there if we choose so and let go of the armour we have developed over the years.
Beautiful Liane. And what I felt when reading your comment is yes it takes courage to stand with true strength coming from a love that is lived, and truthfully is the much easier path that that of the armoured human, holding humanity further than arms length, which actually leads to the pain and suffering we are all trying to escape from.
I love reading your comments Liane – there is much wisdom and strength, truth and love and I feel it in my body. Thank you.
The relationship between our choices and our bodies is very fascinating and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy highlights so well how much our body can tighten or harden as a result of various choices or reactions in life. This hardness and protection that you describe Simon can be equally chosen by women too…I know this first hand which is why I find Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy amazing and I love how expanded my body feels after a session.
I agree Marika. We are all ‘trained’ to harden in some way in life. Through the support of Esoteric Modalities I have felt much of my hardening in my life and the damage it has done to my body and the way I express.
I agree Marika and I remember at the age of 19yrs saying to my partner at the time that I felt as though I was wearing a suit of armour and looking back I really was. It is clearly a work in progress, when you have lived this way for many years, to come back to the playful beauty you naturally are, and yet with the support of Connective Tissue Therapy and many other Universal Medicine modalities, it has become a much easier transition.
We hide behind our shields of hardness attempting to protect ourselves from hurt, hurting our selves in the process! This is a bit crazy really.
Absolutely Kathleen. This is another version of ‘cutting’ ourselves – we hurt ourselves to not be hurt, and, as in ‘cutting’ we are even doing it physically to ourselves i.e. injuring our vascular system and liver, by hardening to protect ourselves from being hurt. The whole world is doing this and then looks at someone ‘cutting’ themselves with incomprehension and disbelief. But we are all doing the same thing. And yes, it is crazy, as you say.
Awesome observation Lyndy. Yes it is rather ironic that we judge so harshly those who self harm and yet are in complete denial of the state in which we have chosen to put our own bodies. With those who physically self harm at least they are being honest about their hurts, whereas everyone else is keeping theirs under wraps pretending everything is ok knowing they are there but overriding what they are feeling! I can certainly put myself into the latter category as this is how I arrogantly used to live life. I can only say what a true blessing it has been to be shown what is really going on and to continue to stay open to more revealing truths about what my choices have been.
It is crazy that the shield we create to protect ourselves from hurt is one of hurts. It is so crazy that that is why we can look “at someone ‘cutting’ themselves with incomprehension and disbelief.” A further craziness is that the person who is actually ‘cutting’ themselves is more honest, as it is blatant in what they are doing, while rest of the world is in denial and self-righteous in that denial.
This is so real, I never thought of going hard as the same as cutting or self harming or self abusing but it it, but as others have said it’s worse, because it’s hidden. Thank you for the insight Lyndy.
It’s true Lyndy, it’s very easy to look and judge what someone is doing externally to their physical body ie. ‘cutting’ but the damage we are doing internally is occurring every day. Every time we harden against the world, we are causing harm to our bodies, and the effects can take a long time to heal.
Absolutely Jo!
Absolutely Kathleen, we could just let down the shield and just be … how simple is that! We make it all so complicated that it’s going to take lifetimes to untangle the mess we have created … It’s massively crazy.
This is so true Kathleen. We are actually hurting and guarding ourselves first and foremost, then others, when we express from that hardness. The crazy thing is we think we are protecting ourselves but in fact we are hurting ourselves and protecting using the hardness as a way to control and protect our hurts. I would rather stay supple and surrendered in my body staying connected, feel what hurts and then move forward to express lovingly and deal with issues or hurts. A much truer way for our bodies and especially our connective tissue.
You raise an important point Johanna, do we choose something different and feel our hurts rather than going into the reaction of hardening and either attacking back or withdrawing.
Yes imagine if we were actually able to see the energetic consequences of our hardness and protection? From my experience going hard is the equivalent of punching someone energetically and then punching ourselves as well for good measure. We have all experienced this force when someone is hardened or angry around us or with us.
Spot on Kathleen, it is indeed crazy. Somehow we think that by cutting ourselves off from feeling the hurt we won’t feel it, yet by doing so we are hurting ourselves more.
A cycle we can go lost in for aeons. It is quite perplexing for the mind that when we let go of the hardening we get to feel and hence realize that we have never been protected but only numbed.
So true Kathleen…and it takes a lot of energy to hold onto those hurts and the shield we attempt to ‘protect’ ourselves with, when in fact we are physically harming our bodies with the hardness and exhausting ourselves in the process = double harm…and then we take stimulants to pick us up and ‘help’ keep us going = triple harm…and then all the pick-me-ups like coffee and alcohol are seen as ‘normal’ – have we moved beyond crazy to insane?!
And the irony is that having ignored our bodies messages time and again, we are surprised when we get sick and wonder how it suddenly happened!
Absolutely Kathleen, I agree, what a ‘crazy’ merry-go-round we lived with before the amazing modalities such as ECTT, as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Yes Kathleen, In truth, the armour is both trying to protect ourselves from the hurts we feel in life, and the hurts we feel in our bodies. Gives a new meaning to the saying “between a rock and a hard place”! Yet in this bracing there is no yielding and surrender, therefore nothing can shift. Hurt just keeps triggering hurt. This is why ECTT is so powerful because the very gentle movement understands that this way of meeting the body is required to begin to shift this way of being. The proof of all of this is in the results!
Yes Simon, I have experienced this myself in an ECTT session where I felt an anger release. It was quite startling as I did not consider I was angry at the time and it was if it released from my leg and ran through my body to my lips and a sound came out of me not unlike the tone of a swear word giving both myself and my practitioner a little fright at the time! The ECTT certainly shifted that!
Thank you Simon. This is a very informative and revealing article. The consequence of men living in a rough and tough way has had a profound effect on both them and on society. It is time for all of us to support men to return to their natural sensitivity and tenderness, by not asking them to deny their sensitivity from a young age.
This is a very important point Elizabeth, supporting men to reclaim their natural sensitivity by not asking them to deny it – and it is worth pondering that being so sensitive, the radar is often finely tuned for feeling any imposition or insult and the default has been to harden and protect. Therefore what we are really calling for is nothing short of living our true potentials as human beings, to all be consistently, deeply loving and honouring of each other.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality and the ease and fluidity in one’s body is just amazing.
What a great article Simon, I could really relate to the inner armour that we all carry embedded deep in our bodies, in order to dull our sensitivity to what is really going on around and within us. Perpetually on guard in this state we harden and arm ourselves in fear of what may come our way. We become so used to living nervously, ever ready for a fight/flight response that we forget that love is our greatest form of protection. And so rather than open our hearts, we stiffen and brace, cementing in the hardness and thus shooting ourselves in the foot in the process!
I agree with you, Doug and Liane, love is our greatest form of protection and sometimes not easy to live. We are so used and almost addicted to our anxiousness and living nervously.
I have experienced esoteric connective tissue therapy and I discovered I was holding hardness in my body that I wasn’t even aware of, like in my forearms. This modality is truly amazing and can benefit everyone.
When looking at the causes of abusive behaviours it seems rare to discuss the quality of how the body moves that causes the behavioural and emotional states. A tense body leads to tense thoughts, actions and words while an open body allows much lighter, kinder, more level-headed actions and thoughts. Why then are we taught as young to ‘toughen up’ when down the line it brings so much hardness into the world? Why champion being hard when we are born the complete opposite?
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an extraordinary modality which has assisted in my surrendering to the deeply sensitive being I am and to be able to honour this connection throughout my everyday … It is a joy to give and receive.
Thank you Simon for such a comprehensive article….it’s great to be given an understanding of exactly what connective tissue is and its role in the body. It’s so devastating to see and feel the tenderness of a little boy over time become the hardened “little man” that he needs to be in order to survive in society, and time that we started to support our boys and men so that they can remain in their exquisite tenderness, allowing them to be who they truly are. Esoteric connective tissue therapy is such a valuable modality to allow men (and women) to reconnect to their gentleness and start to release the body from the tension.
I love that you have likened the way of walking in hardness as that of wearing a shield that not only makes movement heavy and rigid but numbs out our awareness in our bodies. There is actually a greater strength in allowing tenderness and flow and dealing with all that we experience, see and feel in our life than there is to building a so-called strong physique.
From our youngest years, the world needs to change, and men and women be allowed to live their true selves and not change for anyone or any emotion.
It’s so true, the rough and hard way of living for both men and women is causing great harm to the body and equally so to all that we do thereafter and all the relationships we have. ECTT is an amazing modality that supports our bodies to realign to their natural flow and movement and make the changes necessary to allow this is the new normal way.
Simon your clear explanation of the harm of ‘hardness in the body’ to our physical and psychological well being is definitely a cautionary tale for anyone who believes that boys or men should toughen up. Domestic Violence will not be if we only allow our young of both genders to express their hurts harmlessly with a few tears, and drop the facade of toughness that is popular in movies.
Thank you Simon for this wonderfully informative article on connective tissue and the amazing modality of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. I used to live with the hardness you have written about, and as a result with a lot of pain. With the combination of ECTT sessions and my commitment to doing connective tissue exercises given to me by Kate Greenaway, the chronic pain that I had suffered from for 40 years has healed and with it the dissolution of the hardness I carried so heavily in my body for so long. Needless to say I am the biggest advocate and appreciator of this life changing therapy.
That’s amazing Ingrid. I can feel how important your commitment was in this too. To no longer have chronic pain after 40 years is huge.
I really like the way you have described hardness in the body, what overall effect this has and what is actually does to the body including the psychological effect it has. It’s easy to understand. Writing this I remembered seeing a young man in the high street who had obviously just come from the gym and only had a vest top and jogging pants on (in October in England!); you could sense he was pleased with his body and shape but so completely numb to his environment and weather with no actual true regard for his body to take the time to put a warmer top on. If we stopped telling people to toughen up but instead introduced true self-love and self-care as Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine does I feel the change we would start to see would be massive.
A well presented article Simon, I know exactly what it was like living in a hard and contracted body and the funny thing was that I thought I was protected however the state my body was in was causing me more harm than anything else. ECCT along with other Universal Medicine healing modalities have helped me greatly in connecting and expressing from my true tenderness.
I love what you say Joe, thank you. ECCT really gives us a taste of what it would feel like to live with a free flowing connective tissue, which reflects how we hold ourselves inside our bodies. I just melt when I receive, and even when I practise this heavenly modality.
I enjoyed this practical explanation of what happens with hardness in our bodies and how Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can support to free ourselves from this.
It is powerful to read and understand our bodies response to emotional behaviours and ways of being. There is literally no emotional state that does not cause some sort of harm to our bodies. Be it anxiousness which causes excessive raciness and over time exhaustion from being in the ‘flight or fight’ mode too much. Sadness which causes dampness in our lungs and heaviness in our overall being. Anger which hardens and constricts our bodies with the effects much like Simon has described here. And the list goes on. Even happiness is fake and causes too much stimulation and emotional investment from the body that when it does end is felt almost as the drop from having a ‘high’. The only true way to live is without emotion and living from a far deeper and greater energy as I am rediscovering comes naturally from within us and naturally what our bodies align most to.
I really appreciate what you are saying here Joshua, living from our emotions really does impact on our bodies…it eventually takes it toll. But there is so much more to this as you have said.
Great description of our emotional forays Joshua. I am also seeing this in myself very acutely at the moment and seeing how indulging in familiar emotions is a distraction from the steadiness I otherwise bring.
It happens even in subtle ways not just major behaviours or patterns. Subtle behaviours we think are part of who we are when they are clearly not.
So true Joshua. So much is revealed to us when we choose to be aware and feel the spaciousness of who we are.
And what is worse is that they don’t feel like a poison in many cases as they stimulate the body so we often don’t feel the true impact of them at the time
Simon, this is a really beautiful article, thankyou. As a woman I too have hardened my body as a ‘protection’, which does nothing of the sort, just preventing me from allowing myself to be the sensitive gentle person I know I am and stops me from opening up to people and letting love in – and out. Connective Tissue therapy is such a gentle therapy yet profound in its far-reaching effects.
Yes sueq2012, this is a really beautiful article and thank God and Serge Benhayon for Connective Tissue Therapy.
The beauty and delicacy of our connective tissue really comes through in this Simon. The subtlety in the way we respond, even to the vibration of a spoken word has very powerful effects on our body when we care to consider our own sensitive make-up: “At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting.” It is clear that words, looks, reactions and emotions are all felt and responded to by our connective tissue; when we can’t feel any of this in the body, it shows us how we are using the hardness you describe, as a protection from life. I’ve certainly done this but am enjoying feeling more and more, and learning to dare to let go, and see what’s there to be felt in my body.
Thank you Simon for explaining what happens to our bodies when we feel as though we are under attack, either physically or verbally. It makes sense that if we are conditioned from childhood to be hard, that we later go on to being rough and unloving with ourselves and others. I know from my own experience that Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy can assist me to go so still and release the tension in my body, to a very deep level. I definitely feel that ECTT is the treatment of the future and is so simple, but profound.
Thank you Simon for an insightful presentation on hardness and how and why it plays out through the whole body. What I find interesting is how in addressing the hardness you felt in your body through Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is the way this affected your whole life and not just your body. It seems as the body lets go and the sensitivity returns and any hurts are dealt with, it would be natural thereafter to approach and interact with others in the same way, which would be a step in the right direction for domestic violence to lessen, as our bodies would not want or be able to carry out such an act.
Thank you Simon for delineating so clearly how we harden our bodies to protect ourselves and how this impacts not only on our body but also how that influences our interactions and impact on others. This is a really important understanding.
Absolutely Jonathan this article is amazing in the understanding it allows for how we abuse our own bodies by feeling we have to develop this hardness to protect ourselves and how this impacts all those around us and can lead to much harm including domestic violence.
The ‘tough guy’ image that many men think they have to portray is an outer protective shell for the tender sensitive man within – and women are not immune to this brittle protective shell.. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy melts the strands of tension and allows you to feel the flow of exquisite tenderness that we truly are.
Simon – fantastic article highlighting the physical ramifications on the body to shutting down to feeling. “And one very important aspect of this is the hardness that men develop in their bodies and the insensitivity that goes with it.” As you have suggested this is huge in how this plays out on every level in society, in the family, at school, at work, in business, in government – in every walk of life. Because we do not encourage boys to show their gorgeous tender side we all suffer as a result, not least our boys and men.
Simon thank you for this detailed piece which helps in understanding how our body truly works… “choosing to be sensitive and gentle with ourselves, rather than tough and hard in how we live our lives.”…is clearly a great way to release some of the stronghold we have learnt and accepted as part of normal day living.
Hardness in the body allows to abuse and to be abused. Violence starts with self abuse, with abusing ourselves by building hardness in our body to not feel what is going on in life. From a young age we are motivated to develop hardness and self abuse which then develops into more abusive and violent behavior. Working with teenagers on self care and building body awareness we apply the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy we learned through Universal Medicine and the results are amazing. As you describe in this article the teenagers re-connect to their tenderness and sensitivity and get a feeling for their body which some of them totally lost. Re-connecting back to your own body and caring for yourself is the way to prevent violent behavior. I am working for years on the topic of violence prevention and no methodological approach has been able to support people to surrender into their bodies and really embody the fact that violence is self-harming and has to do with the hardness and disconnection from our bodies. The ECTT has been for now the best modality to build this connection and I can highly recommend it!
Thank you Simon and Rachel for sharing how amazing it is that we can reawaken the body’s awareness through the gentle use of ‘ECTT’.
It’s amazing to feel how the way we are with our bodies and how we treat ourselves, affects the way we are in relationships.
Thank you for a wonderful article on connective tissue and the amazing modality Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy. Your description of connective tissue shows clearly its very important role in our body and yet it is probably the least valued, least considered and most neglected part of our bodies within medicine. In dissection in the anatomy lab for instance it is the first thing to be discarded in order to see the other structures in the body.
Yikes what a revealing and fantastic blog. Every man on the planet can benefit from the wisdom held here.
Absolutely Heather, every man and every woman too, can benefit from this blog. Domestic Violence is an issue for both men and women. It is really crazy how many women allow themselves to be in relationships that don’t honour the tender beings we naturally all are. It shows the lack of self-worth so many women live with, to choose partners who do not cherish them. We too, as women, need to let go of our hardness, and reconnect to the preciousness we all are, and when we do, we will recognise the abuse coming from men in way of taking us for granted and looking at women as a disposable and interchangeable attachment to their lives. Until we women claim that we are totally equal, whilst holding on to our tenderness, without needing a man’s protection, nor their false acceptance, men think it’s ok to treat us like a commodity. Once no woman goes out with a man with those attitudes, men will then understand that they need to raise their bar and reassess what a true relationship is.
I had spent years of this life dis-functioning under self imposed tension and anxiety. My connective tissues were like guitar stings… bringing a whole new meaning to the expression on being ‘highly strung’. I can now see and feel what all of that constant tension had done to my body. It did take a few years for myself to unravel the knots I had tied my innards up into. I have had sessions with Kate Greenaway and it was always amazing what ECTT did to help my body release what it had held onto for all those years. Today I am a well-tuned air guitar I can feel my body and there are no strings attached.
This is the kind of health education that is needed in schools. You explain so clearly Simon what happens to our bodies when common accepted phrases such as ‘toughen up’ and ‘suck it up’ are expressed. To have what you have shared here taught in schools, health sectors etc., would allow for a huge eye opener about the impact we all have on each other and how phrases such as these ones mentioned here are far from innocent.
I agree Katerina, I have learned so much and am in appreciation and now have a deeper understanding of anatomy and physiology from the blogs and the comments from those who have studied these sciences. One would feel it would be easy enough to introduce similar levels of expression and comprehension of how the intricacies of that which is beneath our skin co-operate with each other, and that this valuable learning be extended to the many levels in the education system for all to benefit from, while at the same time developing an overall increase of awareness of how we may better nurture and care for the body that we occupy at this time.
I am with you at this, Katerina. It would make so much sense to share this from young age and teach it in schools and health centers. It would change the world if we leave sentences like ‘toughen up’ out or our vocabulary and allow and welcome the expression of what is felt inside. This would build understanding and brotherhood.
I love your explanation of how hardness and protection physically manifest themselves in our body. It makes a lot of sense. I have experienced Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy myself and always find it a very relaxing experience, where I can deeply let go of tension held in my body from things that happened in my day to day life, leaving me feeling tender and sensitive again.
Reading about how men can have an armour of hardened connective tissue running throughout their internal body is a real wake up call to not only how I have been holding myself and the signals I have been overriding, but also in how I can change in my relationships with men to have more understanding of all that each person has to contend with on a daily basis.
This is a brilliant blog Simon. I love the way that you have brought the beautiful simple physiological explanation of how hardness becomes embedded in our bodies and showed how this goes hand in hand with the ‘hard’ behavioural patterns of violence.
Anyone seriously wanting to lower the rates of domestic violence in our Society could read this and help us turn this very concerning way of living around 180 degrees.I would offer this as a paper to the people who are looking at this issue of domestic violence in our country. You have covered every base, and conveyed the whole picture.
This was very connecting in itself to read, Simon. Thank you for sharing your understandings of connective tissue, its role in the body and also the benefits of esoteric connective tissue therapy. The way you’ve linked this to the hardness we, and particularly men, hold in our bodies is insightful. These words, “Emotional dysfunction means living in reaction” really stood out for me, too, as not enough attention is given to how emotionally dysfunctional our way of living has become, and of how it is truly impacting upon our bodies with such harm and force.
Thank you Simon for a great article highlighting how our bodies become hardened to eventually hide our sensitivity and awareness, thereby causing all sorts of problems with health and lifestyle. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is an amazing modality that I have had much success with to soften the hardness in my body.
The relation you make with hardness in the body and domestic violence makes sense to me Simon. As hardness in the body makes it difficult to feel how sensitive and tender we men actually are. The armouring in our body we have created because of the way we are raised in being tough and to harden up as a boy, disables the ability to feel we are that. In a way we are disconnecting ourselves from a quality in us that is there so naturally. If we are not allowed to be sensitive and tender we are not able to deal with the hurts we encounter in life as we pretend that we do not feel them, and by that choice even become more hardened in our bodies. Being hard in a body what is designed to be sensitive and tender is already abusive and it is actually a logical result that we men bring this abusiveness into our relations on whatever level of intensity this may be. Abuse is abuse and is the source of the domestic violence we see that much in it escalated way in our nowadays societies.
Nico what you are sharing is very powerful and relates to both men and women equally. It’s only when we begin to re-claim our own tenderness that we begin to see what abuse really is, otherwise we are only looking at the extremes of behviours, which we still need to of course. But we just can’t see it’s origins.
I’ve have experienced the many benefits of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy before, but really appreciate this very practical and scientific background to the way the body works. It confirms all I have felt with esoteric healing and the amazing way our bodies respond in relation to our choices.
Simon, how amazing it is to see the link between the state of our connective tissue and how it may present in relation to a situation of domestic violence. Thank you for your revealing and inspirational blog.
I totally agree Roberta, Simon’s blog is a must read for us all to understand all the different ways we abuse ourselves – not just in relationships with others, but how we treat ourselves. As Simon so simply and clearly shared, the connective tissue is very responsive and sensitive to any sharp, forced or strained movements that cause it to change its structure. Connective tissue is naturally fluid, allowing us to have flexible pain free movement and when there is significant physical and/or emotional strain it thickens and hardens, causing tension in the body.
We are naturally gentle when we don’t react or brace from a hurt, men and women equally – most of us have forgotten this and we tend to move in a harsh and driven way. As Simon wrote, coming back to moving gently and doing things in a smooth flowing way, we are giving ourselves an Esoteric Connective Tissue session and releasing the old tension areas held in our connective tissue. This naturally improves circulation, freer movement, more harmonious organ function and overall more vitality. That’s a win win for ourselves, our bodies and all those around us.
What a beautiful adding and building on Simon’s article. I can relate to what you write: “We are naturally gentle when we don’t react or brace from a hurt, men and women equally – most of us have forgotten this and we tend to move in a harsh and driven way.”
After a Connective Tissue Therapy session it feels like the body remembers our natural gentle way of being and it loves feeling the expansion and harmony this brings.
Absolutely agree Kate to understand the constant self-abuse we apply is key to understanding where abuse and violence comes from and how it is manifested in our bodies. Understanding this makes clear that any abuse against others is always abuse against oneself in the first place and therefore a never ending cycle of abuse which we are feeding on a daily basis. Building and reconnecting to the gentleness that our bodies are is the way forth to live without abuse and the ECTT is an amazing modality supporting in building this body awareness.
Wow Kate, that’s certainly a win-win for all! Thank you for expanding further on the nature of connective tissue and reinforcing the fact that simply by returning to “moving gently and doing things in a smooth flowing way” that we can release “the old tension areas being held in our connective tissue” – that’s incredible!
So on the ball Kate, I feel that to be an article in itself – so many people have now experienced Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and can develop their awareness and understanding how our movement can be like a session on the table. I would say just in the last month or so this has developed for me even more – just incredible how the hips can release and tension around the abdomen, simply by making my walk very tender.
Thank you, Simon for your very informative and insightful offering here. The hardness you describe as a physiological conditioning men put themselves into is very much present in women too. I could feel it in my body as I read your article and how it was an inhibitor to the natural flow my body innately possesses within.
I agree Fumiyo, it is very much how Women are too and looking around it has become a normal way of life sadly and shows us how far away we really are from expressing our true selves. Thank God for Universal Medicine for reawakening this treasure and bringing to the surface the simple facts that we are all equally sensitive and connection to our fragility is a very important way to live.
Beautifully put Amina and Fumiyo. I was sensing that same contraction, especially in tense moments, in the shoulder/arm area. I can feel how important this connective tissue is for us all to be aware of and to connect ourselves too. Esoteric Connective Tissue sessions have deeply supported me to sink in my body and let go of all those tight and tense contractions in my body. It now requires, with the support of this modality, to connect everyday to my own connective tissue.
Yes I totally agree and not only has it become so normal for women to be so hard it is becoming more extreme!
That’s a great observation Doug and this continues too. I can see for myself when I was younger that I was reacting to the world around me and didn’t want to acknowledge how sensitive I was….am. I saw it as the only way to get through and in working with people I really thought that I had to keep a distance. I am learning now how sensitivity and gentleness is a real strength and not the weakness that I once thought it was.
The protection we set up and harden ourselves does change the whole physiological form of our bodies, and my experience with Kate Greenaway on a Esoteric Connective Tissue session has shown that my body is not as rigid as I thought it to be. If everything is energy (Albert Einstein) and everything is because of energy (Serge Benhayon), changing the energy of our bodies, also changes its form. When I was willing to let go of the protection that I have put up, my body has gone back to its more natural form.
Our body does show us how we have been living, this has been my experience as well. And a hardened body shows how hard we have been to and with ourselves and with others as well, most likely.
Interesting to note that connective tissue is the layer of protection around our muscles, joints, bones, blood vessels, nerves, organs, central nervous system, spine and brain and naturally tissue is not hard, and it provides the important protection to our body. Learning from the wisdom of our bodies, can it be true then that natural protection does not have to be hard, as we have been brought up to believe? Could it be that the most amazing protection is just to be ourselves naturally?
Hardness cannot be a natural part of us when harmony is something that flows. Yet hardness is sold to us in the world as a successful and to be sought after persona of men, and of women as well. Hardness is contradictory to what is natural to us and holding onto hardness is detrimental to our physical and mental health. Wearing an amour in life everyday is hard work, uncomfortable, heavy, constricting, dense, not fun and very stuffy!
I simply love these words: “Hardness cannot be a natural part of us when harmony is something that flows”, and as I read them I could feel the truth of what you have so beautifully expressed throughout my body.
Hear hear. It takes more energy to resist love than to be it.
Exactly Liane, when we resist love, life becomes quite a chore!
And your explanation of way connective tissue works in our bodies – what an education! To understand that “…At any time we feel an insult, our connective tissue contracts, influencing the muscles, blood vessels, nerves or organs it is supporting…” and that this contraction or hardening does not automatically release but instead is held in the body as a layer of “toughness” between ourselves and the world, dulling our sensitivity. This makes so much sense when you consider how, if you are hurt by something, not only can it be quite hard to let go of the hurt, but our interactions with others and the way we view events/the world is tainted by the hurt we are still holding. So we are set up for more misunderstandings, and more hurts, and more hardening….Unless we find a way to begin to clock this hardening, to develop a way of accepting our sensitivity, and a gentleness, love and care in the way we are with ourselves. I have found that the Esoteric Healing modalities are an incredible support in this process – if it were not for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I would still be stuck in the cycle of girl vs world.
I’m guessing that if we really stopped and looked at what happens to our connective tissue when we react to someone, shout, get angry or have a tough meeting would shock us all.
I’m guessing you’re guessing right Heather – we’d be in for a huge shock if we could actually see what happens to our connective tissue whenever we get hurt or react. Interesting how if we can’t physically see something, it is easier for us to dismiss or ignore. But the more you take care of yourself and let yourself connect to what you’re feeling, the more you can feel and while you cannot see the hardening of the connective tissue, you can definitely begin feel it.
True Heather and as I understand it our connective tissue actually has nerve endings in it and so we are feeling any contraction in that tissue, although we may not choose to be aware of it all the time.
Very interesting point Simon “… I understand it our connective tissue actually has nerve endings in it … “. Nerves produce feelings and a pain so it must take a force against this to not feel this.
Great health science education.
I did often discount the power of ECTT, however I have discovered although only small movements, it is extremely powerful and can reconfigure the entire body for the better.
I agree Luke it is a great health science education and it will be a huge step and benefit for humanity the day we can have such teachings and sharings in our education system, specifically in health care.
Gosh that will be the day, and I’ll be waiting with open arms until time comes to pass.
Agree Danielle, working in a hospital everybody I see, including the staff, could do with 10mins of ECTT a day. This modality brings back a natural harmonious flow to the body, instead of the dis-harmonious flow patients’ bodies are in.
10 min of ECTT to all patients and staff in the one hospital could change the running of the hospital significantly. In fact the whole hospital could be a role model for all other hospitals around the world for how working in a harmonious way can truly be.
What a fabulous article. This has given me an understanding of the link between the way we are socialised, particularly for men, and how this affects our whole being by creating a hardness in the body. Now I can understand what this armour of hardness does, blocking the natural sensitivity we feel and our natural expression of being gentle. This has also given me so many great insights in ECTT, thankyou.
Yes, Melinda, the way we are socialised has an enormous effect on our bodies, we are faced with enormous pressures from society to be a certain way, and hardening up for men especially is a very big part of it. And now more women are also responding to this call, as more and more young women are being pressured to join into the rough contact sports. These women are becoming so far away from the beautiful gentle women that they were meant to truly be. We all have a natural sensitivity, but this is becoming smothered now for so many people. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a great way for people to regain insight into the true state of their bodies.
It truly is remarkable how our bodies do take on and reflect back to us how we are living.
Wow Simon, thank you for such a fascinating, in depth explanation of hardness, and the effect it has on the body – and our being. The physiological and emotional effects of hardness are devastating yet rarely clocked or spoken about – instead we focus on the end result, the reactions to this hardness, the violent or irrational outbursts, the substance abuse, depression, etc. This article provides the understanding to be able to look past the reactions – not condoning them – but to see and connect to the person behind the reactions. We all have a responsibility to allow the space for others to feel safe to connect to and express how they are feeling – indeed to encourage this expression. Vulnerability and tenderness is so beautiful to behold and so much more powerful the the “tough guy” or “tough girl” acts we have been sold.
Absolutely Hannah, vulnerability is so beautiful to behold, as it is allowing yourself to be seen in full, not hiding any part of you. Tenderness is the absolute opposite to hardness. Tenderness allows everyone to melt and open up while hardness keeps all at bay.
Beautiful Kathleen, so essentially hardness is all about hiding yourself from the world.
Great point Hannah, how we focus on the end result of the hardness and not looking what causes the reactions. When we look at that in our physiology we actually have something to really work with and it is not so difficult to be aware and change.
So true Simon, when we bring it back to the body, every thing becomes much more simple.
I love how the modality of connective tissue therapy shows us how hard we have been living; it’s such an exquisitely gentle modality and it allows us to go so much deeper in understanding how we live impacts us. I find it very interesting that connective tissue therapy is showing that some activities we think are doing us ‘good’, actually on a deeper level, are not so ‘good’ after all, and have a very insidious effect. it does make you wonder what’s behind modalities that actually silently harm the body, under the guise of doing us ‘good’. This in itself would make interesting science.
Some of the ‘not so good activities’ and even some ‘modalities’ might be based on the old adage “no pain, no gain” – and thus adding insult to injury and reinforcing the bracing and hardness in our body.
Great point Gabriele – “no pain, no gain”. How big is this ideal? My body does not like pain – please explain how this makes sense?!
When I was growing up (I am now in my 40’s), boys were expected to toughen up and not be ‘a girl’, yet it was still acceptable for girls to cry and express their feelings. Today, watching young girls around me, I regularly hear them being told to ‘suck it up princess’, as well as being encouraged to play rough, contact sports. Both boys and girls are being taught to harden and toughen up from a young age – what affect will this have on domestic violence and mental health as they grow into the adults of tomorrow? I have deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and modalities like Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy – learned behaviours, as well as ideals and beliefs (even when they are entrenched in our organs and connective tissue), can be discarded and healed should we so choose.
Yes Carmin, the quest for hardness seems to be increasing and spreading across for women as we compete with ourselves and with our men. Where will this end up? We need to have more discussions around like this where we talk about the effects of ‘hardening up’ has on our bodies. It has a devastating effect as I know personally after many years of living in great tension and hardness and it has been through Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I am learning to live in my tenderness much more and realise that I don’t need this level of protection.
I remember “toughening” up and as I lived with this in my body came to believe that this was simply how I was. I certainly became numb to what I was feeling and could no longer really acknowledge or recognise what it was precisely that I was feeling. I remember saying to someone once that `I didn’t get angry, just upset!’
Now I have let go of a lot and am accepting more and more the natural fragility I possess as a woman, within this I now have the capacity to be much more discerning as to what exactly is going on for me. What I really appreciate about this blog however is the explanation of how those emotions affect the body and in turn how the body affects the emotions. To heal our emotions we simply have to heal our bodies. I am not sure this is a concept within the modern paradigm of medicine, but it is one that makes complete sense in a very practical and accessible way.
“Both boys and girls are being taught to harden and toughen up from a young age – what effect will this have on domestic violence and mental health as they grow into the adults of tomorrow?” I think we see a little of this at times now, when we see fights between girls on the TV and lots of women also involved in the big brawls shown on the news at times. It is so sad to see women also join in with the idea of becoming tough, and becoming more like the men with this attitude. And there are more and more girls joining the more rough contact sports like football and boxing. As you say, Carmin, this is going to have quite an effect on domestic violence in the future, joining in the toughening up is not the answer.
Yes I agree Carmin, Sarah and Beverley, it shocks me to see women playing football. I know how much I used to shut down to fit in and be tough playing football at boarding school. What’s the big deal in sports? — I played them all and I made representative sides too! I ended up in depression and becoming very aggressive, taking this behaviour home to my sisters and mum on holidays and weekends.. NOT GOOD!
I play no sports now and I am more vital and healthy, with my mind in its natural harmony where it should be. I exercise in respect to my body, not forcing any hardness onto it, this then supports the amazing love I have with my wife and all my relationships. My life flows.
Great points about how hardness affects both sexes thank you and how it is conditioned into life so early.
Absolutely Carmin our bodies naturally align to the subtle movements of ECTT which then gives us a choice to start our healing.
Simon what a really great explanation of how protecting ourselves affects our bodies and how connective tissue therapy can support us to let go of this hardness.