By HR Professional in Healthcare, London, UK
Look at any headline in the news, or on social media and you will likely see that the NHS and other healthcare services world-wide are under continuous pressure due to the ever-growing demand from rising illness and disease in their local populations. And more and more we are learning that illness and disease is linked to lifestyle. Given this, what is the trajectory looking like? If it continues to increase as it is, due to the way we are living our lives, the rising tide of illness and disease will overwhelm healthcare and bankrupt governments, reducing the productivity of our cities, nations, and the world as we become a society dependent upon needing care for our ailments and woes.
There are definitely times when we need to call on the support of healthcare, and my observations of working in the NHS for 38 years now, show that healthcare professionals work exceptionally hard to deliver the best services they can.
One of the issues healthcare professionals face is the tiny amount of time they have with each patient. Often appointments are booked on a continuous conveyor belt of one in, one out, with little time to discuss anything beyond the presenting issue. All the while during their busy days, healthcare professionals will observe patients and they will likely be aware of some lifestyle factors that may be contributing to their patients’ lack of health and wellbeing.
In this, it is highly likely that doctors, nurses, dentists, and all healthcare professionals will observe time and time again patients in whom there is a level of self-disregard. This self-disregard could show in many ways – let’s take an example:
A hygienist in a dental practice I know sees a lot of self-disregard in the mouths of her patients. She feels that that information – her observation of what she ‘reads’ in the mouths of her patients – is not ‘hers’ and when the mouth of her patient is showing something, she raises the issue gently by asking them a question about the way they are living to get a sense of whether the patient is aware of what is going on. Where there is an opportunity, she will also gently discuss how self-disregard is impacting on their mouth/dental care, and overall sense of wellbeing. She leaves it with them to consider, no force, just sharing what she observes. The only time when she is firm is when she sees something serious in their mouth and she needs to refer them on for further care (e.g. potential mouth cancer). She has seen young people in their 20’s with potential mouth cancer and she is more and more concerned about the way we are living, and the level of self-disregard she observes in patients’ mouths.
In this, we could say self-disregard is any number of things, e.g. not cleaning our teeth regularly, eating foods that do not nourish our body, drinking beverages that do not truly support our hydration, grabbing food on the go with little or no time to digest it, pushing our body to the extremes on over-rigorous exercise or not partaking in any exercise whatsoever, ignoring our body and the signs and symptoms it gives us, not wearing warm clothes on a cold frosty day. All of which affect the quality of our health, our hair, skin, teeth, eyes, posture, all aspects of our anatomy and physiology, and our general sense of wellbeing.
This raises a question: if we observe self-disregard in a patient, as a practitioner, who does that information belong to? Is it for us only, to know but to ‘live and let live’, or is it something to be expressed to the patient? Where does a duty of care begin and end in this case?
And what if part of that duty of care also lies with us as citizens, as patients – are we open to receiving those observations and to discussing self-disregard, with a view to understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?
What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all – whereby we started to look at and understand not only how much self-disregard we are currently living in, but also the impact this way of living is having on our health, on our healthcare services and on our world?
Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives.
In the end it is us who turn the tide of change, and we have to start somewhere – where better to start than with self-disregard? When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.
Read more:
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
We may get a reaction at first when we lovingly express the level of disregard another is making but I do feel we have a responsibility to not hold back and express what is needed… we never know what can unfold when we express truth and the ripple effect that can happen is not in our hands as we detach ourselves from any outcome we may be invested in.
Yes sometimes we want to escape control and imposition by being out of control and, as we see it, free – instead of making the form of control one that is supportive to a loving, vital and self -nurturing way. In that we will find much more to explore…it doesn’t have to be boring at all.
Great blog Jane, so many people I know are living with self-disregard and are not even aware of it. Also, if we have been so used to living with self-disregard, it may take a while to relearn to self-love, self-care, self-nurture and deeply regard ourselves in a loving way. Our first step to embracing change requires awareness of what needs changing.
Where does a duty of care begin and end? This is such a great question. We don’t like to be imposed or be imposing and we hold back so much and like to keep things at a comfortable level. And, in ‘Who am I to say?’ we are already projecting some likely reaction from the others. And there might be something I would spot in others’ choices that are not supportive, but I see myself also choosing the same – not necessarily in the way it is being enacted, but energetically – and I sometimes don’t feel I am authorized to say what they are doing is not supportive. I can feel part of being totally open and transparent is a deep knowing and embodying of who I truly am, regardless of anything. And I get a feeling that that connection is what allows me to not get caught in the ‘I’ that worries about ‘Who am I to say?’ as that part does know there’s not ‘I’ communicating whatever that needs to be communicated.
When we live in a way that simply demonstrates that there is another way, this is one of the most powerful messages that we can deliver… By the way we live.
I agree Cjames2012, no words are more powerful than the messages and reflections we offer others through the way we live. Also, our body registers when words are delivered with a livingness, they hold a quality of truth that is very hard to ignore.
The healthcare that has to treat the illnesses and diseases caused by self-disregard is in a way disregarding in itself, the way the most people who work in this system is not a true example of regard. We are all tangled up in this same energy of abusing our body, trying to find a solution but not yet a true answer. Serge Benhayon has provided this answer, a way of living honoring the body and its divine nature, to heal what holds us back from living the truth of who we are.
‘…understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing…’ this is honesty that will support the true changes required in our state of health.
It’s shocking to realise that a lot of illness and disease can be cured or prevented by lifestyle choices and that if we are to have a health service in the future we will need to take some responsibility for what we put in and do with our bodies.
True Julie, it doesn’t make sense the way the majority of the people are looking elsewhere if it comes down to their own health
If we observe someone walking along distracted by their phone and about to fall into an open man-hole cover, we would warn them to pay more attention. This is the same with when we observe that the way someone is in dis-regard of their body it is our responsibility to warn them and give them the choice to pay more attention to the way they are living.
Whenever we do anything, and we are not being tender or loving with ourselves we are living in disregard because we are not treating ourselves or others with the love and respect we all deserve, the more we learn to cherish and nurture ourselves, the sooner we realise what a great difference it makes, not only to us, but others too.
It is interesting to look at self disregard and the observations that health professionals make, because although true, many must see copious amounts of ill health in patients due to lack of self care / self love, also many will not see this because of the level of disregard they are in themselves. Who questions young doctors going out after work to the pub and still getting up early for a shift the next day, this is considered normal and in their lives as they grow older this continues…this will inevitably have a stop on their bodies and I would argue their ability to do their job to the best of their potential….life is all about our perspective of it – are we all willing to be honest about the state of our health….
We have created a culture that glamourises disregard along with countless forms of entertainment to distract us from the harm, damage and assault we impose on our bodies. The importance of being aware of our relationship with our body, honouring this relationship and everything that our body in-truth is and reflects to us what is needed now to arrest the irresponsibility and abuse we currently see as ‘normal’, which is clearly not supporting us to live with optimum and true health, well-being and vitality. For the quality of our state of being is our responsibility.
Wow people in their 20’s are being diagnosed with mouth cancer! Gosh it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I love the conversation you had with this dentist as it is these sort of conversations that bring a greater awareness and understanding with what is going on and what health care professionals are seeing. We definitely need to take more responsibility for our health and wellbeing through our lifestyle choices and daily choices we are making.
It is clear that health systems are under more and more pressure, to the point of not really being able to keep up. I feel there are several factors involved. One is definitely the disregard we have for our bodies, expecting them to take whatever abuse we dish out, then getting annoyed when they complain! I also have found whilst studying public health that this is due to our collective handing over of our responsibility to ‘experts’ for our health. We live however we like, then expect the experts to fix us. This is an energetic setup that has become quite entrenched, creating a power and responsibility imbalance that needs to change before our health can improve.
Our self disregard is taking us on a journey that we will one day walk back upon and shudder.
We have to get past the fear of hurting people’s feelings when we feel to express concern with another person’s health, way of living, or even physical appearance. I know I have certainly help back in this way ‘to be nice’ or polite, but when we do that it does not allow the other person to possibly make much needed changes in their life, and in many instances they go on abusing themselves and their own health too.
We have more technology and modernity but underneath, we know something serious is wrong. Health is not measured by wealth or longevity but vitality. Although we’ve tried to ‘work it out’ there’s no app for that except for living from our heart.
Brilliant Joseph, delivered with wisdom. I find the word vitality is commonly used but we don’t see it commonly lived.
Disregard is so overrated, sometimes it is even seen as almost heroic if you disregard yourself in order to achieve something. And that attitude doesn’t usually get reverted until something drastic happens. It doesn’t even feel to be a choice, it is more of a posture towards life whether we afford care and love to ourselves.
Indeed we can only ever step up our own level of self care, but interestingly others always seem to notice and there in lies the opportunity for others to make their own change.
I used to have a great GP in Oxford, and although we only had ten minutes, you never felt like you were being rushed. Often he would go over time and wait longer for your appointment, but I didn’t mind because you knew that you were going to be listened to.
It seems I am being constantly reminded in my workplace of the levels of disregard and uncaring or careless behaviours. I suddenly realised that the only thing I can really do is to step up the level of care I have for myself, by doing this I will feel so much better and it’s possible that some of this will rub off on my workmates too.
such a great example to look at the mouth and what’s going on in there, huge signs that we could care for ourselves, but we ignore them..I did for a long time….to care for ourselves we need to care…how do we get to that place of caring….well one great support is, small steps to be honest, about why we do not and why we do not consider ourselves worth caring for…never assume, it is well worth asking ourselves questions and seeing if the answer lies within.
The behaviours of self disregard are so normalised that we often don’t register that they are actually not doing us any good. I have often found seeing others role model another way of living that is more loving to be super supportive
It is true Rebecca, and we allow disregard to be normalised due to the fact we don’t honor the truth of our body to govern and be the marker of our well-being, instead conveniently hand over our power to a set of standards so we don’t have to take responsibility for that lack of love we are choosing to live with. I agree, it is inspiring to have role models such as Serge Benhayon and the many students of The Way of The Livingness that have extracted themselves from living in the deemed yet harmful ‘norm’ to reflecting a way of living that honors the truth of the body and how empowering it is to live with self-responsibility.
i agree – and in no way does looking after and truly caring for ourselves make us any less committed, active or part of life, if anything it makes us more able to be a part of life in full because we are not held back by all the behaviours that chip away at us
I do find that if I open up to somebody about something eg a disregarding way, it can open up a conversation and with a deepening awareness all round giving the opportunity to make changes, and quite often leading to others in conversation too. I agree being open and honest about this subject helps us all to make those changes.
I recently sat waiting for some colleagues to join me in the lobby of a hotel and as I sat and watched the world go by what struck me was how many women wore extremely high heeled shoes. They seemed un aware of how this was affecting the physiology of their bodies which were seemingly bent out of shape to accommodate the forward body tilt that walking in high heels seem to produce. This is a small sample of how we abuse our bodies without even realising it.
We’ve made self-disregard into a subject that is our business alone and are putting out the signals that we can do what we want regardless of the consequences, but there are consequences as the health service is buckling under the pressure of lifestyle diseases. Lifestyle diseases that can easily be reversed or improved upon if a person was, to be honest with how they are living or at least consider their choices.
The level of self disregard and the abuse we inflict on ourselves in the world is really frightening to observe and see considering it is so opposite to the love we all are and it must take some huge force to inflict upon ourselves. An important sharing as is the answer offered “When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.” Absolutely.
The answer to our self-disregard is in the very bodies that we disregard, our own.
Why is there no self-disregard in the animal kingdom, except with us humans? We are meant to be the smartest ones, top of the tree? The strongest and oldest living animals are vegetarians: gorillas, elephants and tortoises. Nature is always a reflection for us, so why don’t we open our eyes?
When we look at this trend of self-disregard on the global scale, is it possible we need to consider why as a race of beings we are so abusive and disregarding of ourselves – almost as if there is a seed of dislike in ourselves towards our very bodies which we need to address and heal – what is it that the body offers and has the potential to offer that we are so focused on disrupting
I’m familiar with that Rebecca, I know my body is the most precious thing now, yet have spent years in disregard of it. It wasn’t until I learned from the presentations by Serge Benhayon about the body being our key to expressing soulfully on earth that I could see the reason for the disregard – it provided a sure fire way to remain in the comfort of set ways and irresponsibility. Yet that way heads directly into ill health and disease rather than the vitality and value of a loved and nurtured body and soul.
Rebecca a stunning consideration and pondering on something that by all means makes no sense, why abuse ourselves? It feels really sinister when I think about it and feel what that abuse is doing to each person as well as society.
I agree – there is a sinister nature, especially the casual disregard and normalisation of the abuse.
Yes..interesting that disregarding one’s self by staying up too late, eating foods that we know don’t work for us are what we often aspire to when we’re growing up. It’s as if we can’t wait for the day when our parents can no longer tell us what to do and so we can do whatever we want, just because we can and because we’re free. But true freedom is not doing what we want just because we think we can get away with it, but about being free to respond to a greater call and a higher purpose: something far above and beyond our thoughts that tell us what we think we want.
Exactly – I have found the only person to provide an explanation that also has a way to heal the root cause and choose differently is Serge Benhayon.
Universal Medicine is integral to re-introducing the seed of health and wellbeing back into our hands; re-establishing the roots of self care and responsibility back into our lives and returning to a sense of oneself that is deeply, naturally self honouring.
Humanity will Be turning more and more to role models… There is a hunger for true role models because at the moment there is not a lot of self-love being reflected back.
Our medicine, should we choose to live it, is living with self-regard. Definitely a tonic for the new era in health care.
Has the period of austerity ended? In the UK the government has announced that the NHS is giving pay rises to 28% and most will go the lowest paid and then up. This injection of cash may stem the mass shortage of porters, nurses and other critically understaffed positions. But it doesn’t address the general disregard of society that is creating the workload that is becoming unmanageable. There was another story about the UK having the highest inmate population in Europe. Is there a pattern here about putting the cart before the horse?
Our world is overrun with the vestiges of self that are left to run rampant when we do not reign in such waywardness. We champion ‘self’ as the modus operandi of life and carve for ourselves a life of individuality and devote a large part of our time erecting borders and divides that allow such illusion to thrive. All of this, including the evil of ‘bettering ourselves’ comes under the banner of self-disregard because our sole purpose here is to dissolve the self that is the human etheric spirit back into our true self which is our Soul and this can only be done when we deeply nurture and care for our ‘selves’ in a way that does not impose on any other until such a time that we realise we are a self that has a choice to not act as a self.
The way that we live our lives does not just impact ourselves but all those around us, therefore we need to take responsibility for how we treat ourselves.
“are we open to receiving those observations and to discussing self-disregard, with a view to understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?…” I do wonder if at some point in the future, this will be included in any consult a person may have when attending to a health issue. This way offers a deeper healing and understanding to a health issue, not only does it serve to address a health issue, but also assists with raising the bar on personal responsibility for living and in turn, reduces the exponential demands on a health care system.
Sometimes we know that something is not good for us but we continue to choose this behaviour. In this case we need to be honest with ourselves about the fact that we are not ready to let this behaviour go. Being willing to be this honest is the first step that will eventually lead to being able to choose differently.
…and this is a much more powerful and effective way of allowing change in our lives rather than deciding to be disciplined and cutting out a whole load of things before we are ready to do so simply because we have decided that we should. One way is a cold hard discipline and the other is deeply loving and more true.
Something that you have raised here Jane is that our increasing needs for medical and hospital care are potentially bankrupting governments. This is something that is never discussed publicly, but it does make sense. I know locally new hospitals are being built to have more operating theatres and more wards, which is definitely meeting a need, however we currently are struggling with our costs now. What will it be like when we have even bigger hospitals and more patients needing care? We are asked to curb our harmful behaviours to reduce some of these foreseen costs to the community. Without examining why we have these behaviours and disregard our own wellbeing and introducing more loving ways in our own lives, such requests are only lip service.
We would surprise ourselves with the results, I’m sure.
Being honest and recognising how we are in disregard is a great place to start – then to work with exposing and healing why we are choosing to be living in disregard.
Disregard is a weed sowed by lovelessness. Love is the fertilizer that heals disregard and nurtures everything that is a product of love.
There can actually be no complaints when things go wrong with our bodies due to our own disregard. It’s not about blaming ourselves but being honest enough to say I’ve stuffed up but now I know and can learn from it.
The amount of sugar we are consuming as a society is remarkable, and very shocking. I was talking to some 12/13 year olds over the past two days about the sugar content in drinks, and some are drinking 2 or 3 fizzy drinks, soft drinks or energy drinks per day, which totals to 40+ sugar cubes just in their drinks, already around six times over the recommended daily limit. Even the ‘recommended’ sugar intake still comes with the effects of tiredness and fatigue after the ‘high’, risks of tooth decay, having no nutrition and contributing to a heavier weight, diabetes etc., let alone the true average amount we are consuming.
I had not considered how much I choose to disregard myself, this is becoming clearer and when I am more aware of it, I have been able to stop it, this did not happen until I began to choose to be gentle with myself.
Introducing gentleness is the key to beginning to really looking at and stopping our harmful behaviours. The more loving we are with ourselves, the more we are willing and able to see and then stop.
Disregard is endemic in society, we call it normal, but it effects every part of our lives.
This would be primary health care at its most powerful. All of us kissing self-disregard goodbye and building a loving, responsible, respectful and caring relationship with ourselves. The ripple effects of this when it happens are beyond our imagination.
‘.. and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care…’ For me this can be painful to once again start loving myself truly and often I back away because I do know how delicate I am but haven’t honoured myself. But I have to start somewhere and love every loving choice I make and appreciate myself for it.
This makes me wonder – I know I brush my teeth regularly but do I pay attention to all the advice I have been given by my dentist and hygienist? Where am I allowing self-disregard into my mouth and life and how does this play out?
Yes agreed… Awareness is key in what choices we make and continue to make thereafter.
Self-abusive gives us the ticket to abuse others. Its all a game and one we can’t play when we are living the love we truly are.
There has been a new block of shops open near us and so far most of the shops that have opened are fast food shops of various descriptions but the one thing they have in common is that they are, in the main, are offering a form of food that is in no way healthy for the body. And it is obvious the clientele who are frequenting these shops are all in various stages of disregard of their precious bodies, but I get a sense that they simply do not know how to get out of this vicious cycle of disregard. What a great reason to begin to educate our young children about caring for their bodies, teaching them what the consequences of any disregarding choices will be and sharing with them the life that is possible when they bring total regard for their body into their lives.
Yes it is true… Self disregard is endemic. This has been a self-sustaining vicious cycle for a very long time with humanity. It feels like even world wars, massive disasters, will not change the paradigms that sustain this, so it must be that a consciousness shift is what is going to turn the tide. This is what is being offered by Universal Medicine.
It is interesting to consider that the responsibility of the practitioner is actually in being able to communicate what they have observed, and especially when the place that they are observing from (within themselves) is a place of deep self-regard. Which ultimately means that a practitioner’s greatest responsibility is to work constantly on deepening the love they have for themselves, so that they may be a consistent reflection and communication of what self-love is for all the people who come to see them and who seek their services.
If we stopped and listen to how our bodies are, and didn’t rely on the quick fix medication to patch things up, I think we would certainly change everything about how we are and how we look at life including the depth of care we take with ourselves.
Our bodies are made to be in the natural flow and harmony of life when we live from the whole of our being but this is lost when we live in separation from who we truly are.
Our bodies forever speak to us, yet we often ignore them, hence the plague of self-disregard highlighted here, and we all know this we see it in ourselves and all around us; and yet we hope to get away with our dis-regard and we can’t, for to do so would further foster our irresponsibility, and those stops our body send to us are wake up calls asking us to take care and rather than railing against them we have an opportunity to feel what supports us and what does not, and the foundation of all this, our willingness to be honest.
It is interesting how we feel that it is our right to self disregard when it not only affects us but everyone else as well. It really does show our lack of responsibility towards the All.
Self disregard is rife – why are we so hell bent on damaging ourselves in the way we live, eat, sleep, drink etc? Something like 80% of long term illness is related to lifestyle choices that we make day in and day out, and this is crippling individuals and the systems that are put in place to support them. We need a big wake up call.
When we are prepared to be honest with ourselves it is easy to see the downward spiral of self-disregard. This is a first point of awareness that offers the invitation to make the changes and begin introducing self-regard… taking care of, listening respectfully to, honouring and valuing our bodies is a great place to start.
Absolutely Matilda. From our current modus operandi, we look out and want to fix what is presented however we don’t check in with ourselves first and see how we have contributed to the mess we want to fix! When we are truly honest we can see that the self-disregard we live with has a big impact on what we have accepted in society as normal. To start clocking where we are self-disregarding and then to make some different choices not only has a huge impact on our own well being but it also supports in not adding to the pool of abuse we have normalised.
Self-disregard does not only contribute to physical illness, it contributes to depression and mental illness too. If we are not treating ourselves well we do not feel good about ourselves and therefore there can be no flow of our natural joy.
Self dis-regard has become so normal that we may not even recognise that it is indeed dis-regard.
Oral care is something that people do not pay enough attention to. An area that needs more education from a very young age. I am seeing the end result of lack of oral care in many of the elderly I care for and it is pretty bad. Certainly has inspired me to go to a whole new level with my oral care.
Like any ocean it’s hard to tell where this tide ends and begins. We think disregard is ignoring what we want – but what you present Jane is it’s actually so much bigger than this – it’s ignoring the truth of who we are.
Yesterday I was visiting my GP and I could sense this lack of time to really talk with him other than my symptoms and ailments. For me as a patient this felt like not truly being heard even though I could see why the doctor did what she did. True connection is so important for true healing and even though we can’t make the other give this to us, we can at least start to deeply listen to ourselves and our body.
Turning around disregard requires us to connect with our body so that we get to feel the impact of our disregard on it more immediately.
When we’re in connection with our body the relationship we have with our body grows and deepens. As with any relationship that deepens, disregard and abuse become exposed and unable to remain.
It’s an illusion to think that we are NOT constantly making decisions that directly affect our anatomy and physiology… We are always contributing to the state of our wellbeing, be it for the better through deeper levels of self care, or in a disregarding way that may lead onto a ‘stop’ moment such as an illness.
Self-regard and self-care is definitely the place to start if we are to turn the tide of illness and disease. It makes total sense. Where else would we start?
A beautiful sharing, thank you Shirley-Ann.
Self-Honesty is an aspect that we come to when we recognise that in some way we are living in disregard of ourselves. A simple example, the honesty of admitting we feel tired instead of overriding this and keep going. The honest brings a certain level of connection to our body and from this point on we have the impetus begin to make choices that are more regarding and valuing of ourselves. Self-honesty it seems is very medicinal.
To turn around disregard you need to begin to care. Some start this with a sudden illness and not wanting to die as the main incentive. However, in my experience this kind of fearful care does not last beyond the initial scare for most.
“it is us who turn the tide of change” – Precisely. Blame does nothing but cement our ill ways, whereas empowered living and responsibility can create seismic shifts and change the game.
There are so many layers to self-disregard. I am finding more to let go of the deeper I go.
I agree Jenny – and that is the beauty of evolving, it is a loving process not a destination.
There is so much self-disregard in the world and it is so considered as normal too. It hurts actually to feel this is the way we are choosing to live as a society whilst championing it. The way we talk and think about ourselves is one I have been looking at deeper lately and it is this that is a more hidden form of self-disregard. The constant negative thoughts, the push the drive, the dismissing of what we feel and the dismissing of any comment that says how truly beautiful or great we are is very much keeping us from surrendering and deeply caring for ourselves.
Caring for our bodies is an essential part of human life, I think too often this gets put to the back burner or on our list of priorities comes in last after all the other things we need to do: bills, work, family, etc, but from what I’m experiencing that deep self-regard is what makes all the other things in life work.
Meg that’s a really valid point, it’s like we point self care after we have done what we need to do on our checklist. Perhaps its time we change that!
Or – we add it to our checklist and then it becomes function rather than imbuing our life with a deeper more sustain quality.
In a way it is the world upside down that we don’t take care of our bodies, but do have many other priorities. Time to turn the tables and make self-care high on our list again.
Self-disregard is a dismissal of love and responsibility – the impact of this is evident every day in our health care service. Thank you for the opportunity to expose and explore this, Jane.
It is life changing to begin to address where and how we disregard ourselves in our lives, but regardless of how much we change our ways and take more care of us, there are always more layers to uncover as the details get more defined.
Sometimes we need the offering from our health practitioners in a non judgemental way to bring us to a sense of honesty about where we might be living in disregard to ourselves and bodies in life.
The tragic thing is that when we look at the illnesses, we have accumulated over the years, many of us do not even realise that we had a choice the whole time to live and make choices that would help us to live a fuller life in our old age. It is time to have these conversations so that everyone is aware of the impact they can have on their own lives and that getting a serious illness is not as random as we would like to think.
Well said, the more we see that we directly have an impact on the way our health is the more we will start to take responsibility for the way we are living our lives. It can be so easy to blame external factors like pollution, its a virus going around, God etc.. that we miss out on the learning that is on offer. The question also arises here do we actually want to take responsibility and change the way we are living or do we just want the quick fix and continue on in the same ill vein so long as we can function and seemingly fool ourselves into thinking we are doing well?
We hear a lot in the news these days about people leaving their jobs due to burn out, overwork and lack of funds. Nurses, teachers and social services workers that do such important jobs all leaving in their droves because they are realising that they have no quality of life in their professions, so this article if fully understood could definitely turn the tide.
The UK health secretary stated the other day that NHS staff ‘knew what they signed up for”! Was that one of those, did I think that or say that out loud moments? Has the burnout reached all areas of the NHS?
It is ridiculous and pretty pointless to make statements like that rather than actually offering to support the NHS staff the health secretary has effectively given up on making a change. It also shows how much pressure he feels he is under and does not actually have the answers.
Recently I have really felt the support of my own loving choices, and how this helps me to deal with life. We are not doing ourselves any favours if we treat ourselves badly. We only create more struggle and an inability to be ready for whatever life throws at us. When I feel tempted by food that I know is not supportive I say the words ‘I will not attack myself’. This is giving me a sense of authority over myself which is building an inner strength and a level of self-respect.
By fully addressing this pattern of disregard on an individual level, it would be entirely possible to start to change the face of this ‘modern day plague’ as our own health improves, so we are then able to support others to be inspired to make similar choices for themselves.
The more we openly talk about self-disregard the more apparent it becomes to how widespread this is, I have found that a lot of self-disregard by children is learnt from parents, and if we can encourage families to see the benefits of self-regard there is a huge benefit and healthier platform to live our lives from.
Love the open question Jane – can we turn the tide. Its a question both for ourselves (good to start at home) and for all of us in our lives. We don’t have to be dental hygienist to see someone working themselves too hard / too stressed at work and be able to walk up and just start the conversation… we all have a part to play in turning it around.
‘Self-Disregard’ is great terminology that has the potential to address and change the landscape of public health education.
The thing is we compare ourselves to other members of our family; maybe they are heavier than us, or they could be on loads of medication, and we are not. So, we go along in this bubble that we are doing ok, and then, of course, we have the ultimate ‘at least I don’t have cancer’ type of thoughts. None of this gets us out of the thinking that ill health is inevitable and that these conditions we get are out of our control, and that we have no say in our well-being.
Self-disregard is the beginning of a breakdown of our health and wellbeing, physically and mentally… we see this all around us and in our own lives all the time. Accepting this makes being well, engaged and vital so simple… self-regard, honouring and taking care of ourselves in the choices we make and being alert to and respectful of our bodies’ sign-posting. Thank you, Jane, for starting this conversation and supporting our awareness.
It appears we have forgotten what true self care is, and in our lives, we expect to get unwell with conditions that could have been prevented, had we looked after ourselves more. This has become the normal but STOP, it does not need to be this way. It is never too late to turn around our self-disregard and there are people doing this every day.
I am often amazed in my own life and observing other people how acceptable disregard has become. In fact, it is almost encouraged by other people for us to forego caring for ourselves in order to meet their needs. But even when no one else is involved, there is a significant pattern that treats the body as disposable, instead of precious and delicate.
Self-disregard is becoming so normalised that we don’t even realise that there could be a far more loving and vital way of living.
This is the alarming bit, I agree Rebecca, the way we normalise and accept things that under even the lightest of scrutiny we can see are self-disregard and/or abuse.
I agree – it is like, rather than face how far we are moving away from a level of love and self care, we keep sliding the scale further and further along to not expose the rot, a bit like getting a white carpet dirty, but instead of holding to the knowing that it was pure white before and how it is now is not true, we make the colour white less pure, so that the stain looks less far from the original ‘white’ – but how long does this keep up until our sense of white becomes black, our truth becomes a lie?
The title of your blog says it all and made me reflect and feel that at the bottom of everything .. all illness and dis-ease at some level there has been self-disregard so we actually need to put the spotlight on this and see this in a very big way as its really important.
This plague lies at the root of the whole human dilemma i.e. that the human spirit incarnated to have fun trashing the body because it knew that it was immortal and would never die and could just get a new one – so let’s do whatever we please (under the illusion that this is a real freedom). The only true freedom on earth is to be able to be in contact with multidimensional Love and Intelligence, and to do that we have to be in regard to ourselves and our body big time.
Jane I volunteer at my local hospital and quite honestly I’m in awe of the nurses and medical staff that run the hospital, the patients have nothing but praise for them. So I would agree with you that the NHS despite the melt down it is going through, somehow still seems to provide an amazing service to the patients. But we do need to find a way to educate people to take more care of them selves. We seem to think we are invincible especially when we are young and that we can treat our bodies in the most disrespectful way; until that day dawns and our bodies show us otherwise.
To really start to address self – disregard, there has to be an honouring of our bodies. In other words, we have to feel that we are worth taking care of.
When we live in disregard and irresponsibility we place such a burden on our health care system. To the extent where it becomes more about acute crisis management rather than medicine offering its full breadth of knowledge and care.
‘Often appointments are booked on a continuous conveyor belt of one in, one out, with little time to discuss anything beyond the presenting issue.’ This is so true of our health systems, but what hope have they got if we constantly crowd our hospitals and doctors waiting rooms because we live in away that disregards and depletes our body. And then we are so willing hand over the responsibility that we ultimately have to care for our own health and well being.
Quite phenomenal Jane, that if we each started to undo the disregarding behaviours we’ve developed, we would by the same stroke begin to turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently overwhelming the Health System.
The observation and what each health professional reads in their client in their specialist area, like your example of the dentist, is insight for the patient that if shared with them will have a very far reaching effect on their health and well-being – not just on the localised part of that patient’s body that is being observed and read.
When I did my nursing training years ago, we were taught to do care plans highlighting the patient’s main issues/problems that need to be addressed. I would say that self-disregard could easily be a standing item on the care plan of almost every patient. Disregard and abuse of our bodies has become the norm and is seriously in need of a turn around to support positive and effective lifestyle change. The key ingredient in this turn around will be building genuine care and love for our bodies and ourselves, rather than seeing it as going to the gym or being on a diet.
If we are honest about what we see, disregard is everywhere.
It is like, everybody is doing it so it must be ok.
If we get honest with ourselves and take real responsibility for our lives, this Is the start of changing this pattern of disregard in the world.
By developing awareness of our body, its posture and movements, brings opportunity to assist development of reducing self-disregard.
Simply by virtue of being aware of our own self-disregard and actually taking that on board, by turning it around and addressing where we neglect to take care of ourselves, we will naturally deepen our own understanding of the many layers that contribute to this behaviour. And by changing how we are with ourselves, others will feel this ripple effect for themselves.
It is very powerful to turn self-disregard around to self-regard, self-worth… and in the process you wonder why you ever lived in such disregard because the love, joy, vitality and pure yumminess of nurturing and honouring you is exquisite… and naturally inspires others.
And self-regard / self-love is like a renewable source of energy / fuel for the body that feeds back the body propelling it for more of the same.
This is so true Johanne. If we take care of the body it feeds us back. Once in this momentum it is less likely that we will feel pulled to go into disregard or self-abuse.
Disregard runs through us like a fine or not so fine lace and we either give in to its ways or we stand up for ourselves and make a choice to act with regard for ourselves and others. If we give in it strangles us all in the net it provides and creates pandemonium. When we make a conscious choice to take responsibility for our own health and well being then our lives change and we begin to reclaim authority in our lives and feel the power that this brings.
I recently saw a snippet of a documentary into the ‘state’ of our NHS, and what struck me is that they were showing a very full accident and emergency department and a wait time of around 12 hours to be seen, due to the enormous amounts of patients and a shortage of beds/staff… Instead of using the ‘shock factor’ of this to show humanity that healthcare needs more funding/attention, should we not be looking at why there are so many of us visiting the A&E in such a short space of time? How are we living?
Learning to be self regarding and self loving for ourselves is a responsibility that is well worth the choice to make as the reflections we can offer others, especially our younger ones can be immeasurable.
I love the word ‘Self disregard’ as immediately, it brings ones awareness to check-in and self-assess on the way we live with ourselves… prompting the question… Do I regard or disregard my body? Is there a more loving way i could live that honours my body? These type of questions are medicinal to the body
It is indeed us who will turn the tide… when we develop an honest and true relationship with ourselves – one that is self-loving, joyful and harmonious within us, then we will be offering that same quality in our relationships with all others.
Self-regard and self-care becomes more and more refined. For one person it may be a big change like quitting alcohol. For another it may be something seemingly small like the amount of a certain ingredient that they use in cooking. The more we take care of ourselves the more we feel the effects of unloving choices and the more sensitive we are. Refinement and adaption is necessary the deeper into self-care we go.
There are always new levels of self dis-regard that we can uncover, from the more obvious what we eat and how we sleep to the way we think about ourselves, how we prepare ourselves for sleep and the details of how we dress, how we walk, how we touch a door handle – absolutely everything matters.
To live in a way that does not allow self disregard not only hugely supports us as individuals but it also supports everyone else. People are inspired just by what they see and feel, often unknowingly so, and often make changes in thier own lives as a result.
In some ways each and every illness and disease is some kind of a disregard of a deeper knowing of how to live life in the true sense of the word – if we deviate away from our natural and innate connection that guides us to live life in a caring, and deeply respectful way, then the body at some point must clear this out – be it in this lifetime or the next, and hence the purpose of illness and disease. It is not something to fight nor resist, but it is about embracing it and taking full responsibility for our choices. It is clear that the vast majority of illness and disease is life style related so there is much to take responsibility in a very obvious way, but an important part of the healing is also to explore why it is that we make choices that are un-supportive when we know better…it does not make sense from a pure temporal level as people are not stupid…hence there must be some other governing force that has an influence on us – and it is super important that we realize this so that we can then begin to understand how to overcome it.
It will take us to hit to rock bottom to realise that this is not the way. And that The Way, is not to improve or better what we have but to pioneer a new way forth that supports humanity in all aspects.
” Self-disregard: can we turn the tide of this modern day plague? ” Yes, the key is to work on self and recognise the ill one is in and then work on how one would support an ill person.
I used to live, work and socialise in a consciousness where self-disregard was the norm therefore it wasn’t questioned and the attitude was oh it won’t happen to me, as our mates were dying around us or falling ill. It is time to make healthy living and healthy lifestyles our main focus so everyone has the facts therefore having a choice.
The subject of self-disregard is definitely one conversation that we need to urgently begin and will need to keep on having for a very long time. Unfortunately, I feel that most of humanity would not even consider that they are being disregarding to their bodies as this way of living has become an accepted normal, one where if you become unwell you simply look for someone to fix you. This is one very destructive normal that needs to be very quickly dismantled if we are to save our valuable health systems from collapsing under the weight of disregard, demand and debt.
It is indeed time to ‘turn the tide on this modern day plague’ – self-disregard has become normal… and it is so not normal when we consider we are innately and naturally all-loving soulful beings.
Self-disregard is pandemic, and there is on offer now, without any apology, a new way to see self-care and what that means for us as humans. A way that incorporates us as souls within a body, a body that needs to be deeply honoured so our soul can deliver the work it needs to in our life.
I think one of the first steps in turning this tide is to be truly honest with ourself, to recognise when we’ve been dis-regarding, often signalled to us by our body, so then we give ourselves the chance to be open to doing things differently…
…and also to be honest with ourselves about why we have chosen this disregarding behaviour. There is always a reason behind it that needs to be uncovered, understood and healed before we can truly change our choices.
There is a great simplicity in discussing self disregard yet it is vast and opens up doors that naturally lead to other aspects of our lives, so by addressing one thing, in this case our mouth hygiene, there is the potential for so much more to unfold in terms of our lifestyle choices. Thus I agree what a practitioner observes is valuable and it is necessary for the person to hear as whatever the behaviour is, it is likely to be considered as normal. The sharing gives us an opportunity to stop, reconsider and make different choices – if we choose – to bring true changes to our health and well being.
In my experience self regard and caring for ourselves is the cornerstone of all else. It allows us to build a foundation on which we can build a healthy ever increasingly purposeful life for ourselves
This is an amazing article sharing so much about the way we live our self disregard and the simplicity of change that can occur with taking responsibility for ourselves.
If we started to talk openly about self-disregard, our own and that which we observe in others, would we become more aware of the downward slide it sets up and the enduring impact on our well-being?
It was interesting to read about the difference for all healthcare practitioners between having a ‘live and let live’ approach or actively, with love and care, expressing what has been observed during the treatment session. And it occurs to me that when a healthcare practitioner is seen for whatever ailment or procedure, we as ‘the patients’ are very vulnerable. And so, the skill in how to express with love, to me, seems like something that any practitioner must take in to every aspect of their life and that this is an absolute that must not ever be taken for granted. For to be a true practitioner who facilitates true healing, surely there has to be at least a lived quality of love that is brought in to the treatment room for love to be expressed.
The season of gluttony and self-excess is upon us once again! Tis the season of the tsunami of self-disregard! Without this giant wave, there would not be a reason for the new years resolutions! What if, we did not imbibe and see and feel this period as a repose to appreciate where we have come from and where the next door leads us.
How much of what we hear in the media can we trust to be True and we should be hearing about the dis-regard that is the start of this modern day plague. So is this plague made by the irresponsible way we are living? Then if living in a way that holds us, True care, self-loving and being responsible are the keys to us returning to our essence.
How important is it to explore the words ‘Regard’ and ‘Dis-regard’ in terms of understanding what they really mean! Disregard to me is simply when we choose to be in a way or do things in a way that is not supportive in some way or another. What I have also come to realise is that people have different degrees or levels of regard/dis-regard. As we grow and learn to care more deeply for ourselves our basic way of being can be one that no longer supports the growth, and so something that may have seemed fine before the growth, can be very unsupportive with the new phase of growth. And so regard is an ever-evolving process of always tuning in to find out what is needed next to truly support.
What is interesting to note here is the level of disregard we have accepted as the norm now makes any level of regard be consider ‘weird’ or out of the ordinary.
These are truly wise words and expose our society for the lack of love and care that we have for ourselves and each other – and so it is a start for us to begin making a chance and collectively so: “When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.”
This quote makes a big statement and yet when I feel it and what it is offering, the simplicity of it is profound and so beautifully within our reach.
The threatening is now a full-blown attack that is overwhelming us all, not just medical professionals. The time for discussion has passed. If we leave things as they are we will all be taken by the riptide.
It is an apt analogy to describe turning the tide on our disregard if we consider that disregard is actually a movement away from our natural flow and order and to return to this requires an honouring our our inner essence.
Supporting another to understand the harm of self disregard is a job we all have. It is up to every person to live with honour, acceptance and understanding. Not just to heal any and all aspects of self disregard for self, but to live this way for another to see, as it may be the thing required for others to begin to understand their own level of self disregard and in the understanding let go of such a way of being.
It is very interesting to observe that when we discuss self disregard with another that some really don’t want to hear it. There is an uncomfortable feeling as the discussion brings them to a point where they can no longer ignore such behavior, but feel belittled by having something exposed, so would rather fight it than adjust their behavior. I know this as it is how I used to respond to being called out on a disregarding behavior. However, through much adjustment and acceptance, being offered an opportunity to address self disregard on continuing deepening levels is an offering of grace that I now fully accept.
Until we see disregard in any form as not normal this modern day plague will continue.
To turn the tide, to change our lifestyle, means self-responsibility … but are we willing to go there – and when? How much illness and disease will it take before there is a significant shift in our choices?
As healthcare professionals we also need to be aware of being role models for all the people – patients, relatives and fellow staff – we come into contact with. It is this inspiration that will support others to make changes in their lifestyle … this is how we can start to turn the tide of our illness and disease rates.
The level of disregard and how we live is certainly needing a tide of change with the current health illness and disease epidemics of the world in crisis. Taking responsibility for the love and the all we are is massive and makes all the difference and self love instead of self disregard is he only way to bring the true quality of our way of livingness to our bodies our health and the world.
This continues even as someone is dying as well. The choices someone makes seldom change just because they are dying. Often choices are excused or even encouraged. For example with diet, people will often say…”What does it matter, I am/they are dying anyway” But if food affects us in many ways when we are ‘well’, it will still have the same effect (if not more pronounced) when we are dying.
Working in aged care there are unfortunately way too many examples of the signs of aging that are possibly stemming from the end result of disregard. I’m not medically trained but some of the states of people’s physical well being are more preventable if we stop and notice along the way what our bodies are showing us signs of. I know this from listening to and observing my own body and being willing to understand what the message is. Most times it comes back to somewhere I’m not truly caring for myself and when I address this and the symptom simultaneously, the encroaching health/physical issue slows down and even stops.
Recent research has shown around 13 million missed Doctor appointments and 6 million nurse appointments were missed, that has wasted £60million each year, and the number keeps rising. How many of these DNA (did not attend) were an opportunity to catch and treat something while it was something simple?
Steve that’s extraordinary and only one country’s figures. Imagine what they would be internationally per year?
Coming up to the silly season and we really need to take stock and reflect on how we are choosing to be through it all. It is possible to make it through gently, lovingly and with great joy.
We can only turn the tide of this modern day plague of self regard by caring more deeply for ourselves, one by one, in a consistent and loving manner, until people start to recognise there is another way to live by looking after ourselves.
‘What part of the duty of care lies with us” is a great question Jane as this may not be a question a patient actually asked themselves. We demand a level of care from the healthcare systems and practitioners that in truth we are not willing to give to ourselves first.
We can definitely turn the tide when it comes to self care, it only takes one person to really deeply care for themselves to inspire another person to do the same. I think a lot of people approach self care as it’s something that needs to be done at particular times, i.e. after work, rather than approaching it as a wholly different way to live life and care for your own well-being.
More than self-care being the sensible, self-evidently sensible thing it is, I have found in recent times when I don’t take time to self care that it literally hurts me, physically and emotionally. And it’s quick like being stung by a bee! It seems to me we are so used to being hard on ourselves we’ve become oblivious that these side effects even exist. Thanks Jane for this opportunity to realise how sensitive we are.
“… If it continues to increase as it is, due to the way we are living our lives, the rising tide of illness and disease will overwhelm healthcare and bankrupt governments, reducing the productivity of our cities, nations, and the world as we become a society dependent upon needing care for our ailments and woes…” The forecast of illness and disease is certainly something to consider and necessary to put into place, strategies to curtail this from happening
It’s almost like as a society we’ve given up on addressing this plague and decided to tolerate the ‘comfortable life’ even though it can cripple our body, health and mental health. And yet we still call ourselves an ‘intelligent’ species and fill our media, newspapers and so forth with ‘new discoveries’, but how can you ignore the fact that the people conducting these experiments and making groundbreaking discoveries may themselves feel insecure, have poor mental health and not look after themselves. We simply aren’t living in a sustainable way.
If I use myself as an example, I can attest to the fact that living with greater regard for myself, in my lifestyle choices – has made an enormous difference to how I feel, how much energy I have and how productive I am in life. It seems to be common sense that the two things go together. I would add that all too often we relegate common sense to a secondary role or bit part player in our lives, preferring the complexity of our intellects – but at a cost in my view. If we chose to have a more common sense approach to life, things might be quite different.
I think sometimes we can get stuck in our ways – doing certain things to care for ourselves and thinking that that is enough – it’s the way we’ve always done them and we don’t need to consider any further what might be needed, rather than seeing that it’s natural for us to be constantly evolving, reviewing and deepening the care that we bring to our lives and consequently all those around us.
We seem to have relinquished entirely, all responsibility of all of our actions and expect others to fix us. The well we have been drinking from is about to go dry and when it does whose feet will blame ultimately end up on?
If the shoe fits!!!
Just for a moment, if we can suspend disbelief, and consider that maybe… just maybe we are enough just the way we are and that this then will open a door to accepting that we are worth taking care of… just maybe.
We can observe how other people live and be itching to tell them there is another way but telling anybody doesn’t help, especially if we are not living that way ourselves. Our bodies tell the story without our even opening our mouths to speak; people can feel the energy of how we live therefore, if we wish to influence anybody, all we have to do is make sure we are living how we want the future to be. They will feel it and can choose to change or not and we need not be attached to any outcome.
I think more often than not we all know the pockets of our lives that we are living in self-disregard, but we don’t want to admit to ourselves. And more often than not, when it is presented to us, we want to keep it a ‘secret’ and then get defensive to the person who presented it to us, which often makes the person presenting it retreat. And thus the secret remains and the cycle continues. To truly heal requires a level of openness and honesty.
We can be a living example of love and care. And when we live that in our body, no matter if others either love it or react to it, we show that there is another way and the free will to choose.
It’s never too late to start to make some changes to our lives and our health, no matter how small they are or how old we are. It’s surprising how the small changes over time can have a big impact and lead on to more small changes.
Julie I totally agree, little changes throughout each area of our lives are what makes the biggest difference. I once wanted my life to be different, now I know that through my choices and changes in choices everything changes.
“When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.’ It really is not difficult to do but we need to have a willingness and a commitment and a consistency, the latter I am working on. Consistency in self care and an ever deepening regard for ourselves, I have experienced it to some degree in myself and have certainly seen and felt it in others; a very beautiful unfolding.
The beauty of reading this is the responsibility it offers us all to truly care for and look after ourselves from an energetic point of view and is very empowering and inspiring.
It all comes down to us individually bring a self-loving way of being with ourselves and listening to what our bodies are telling us. When we start to look at our own lives then slowly but surely we can start to change the tide of a humanity that has lost its way.
” Self-disregard: can we turn the tide of this modern day plague? ” Yes for sure I have done it and its important to know that its never too late to turn over a new page.
The more we are continously distracted and focussed on the world around us, through media, devices, entertainment etc., the less we will be aware of our bodies and what they need. This is a perfect feeding ground for self disregard and the ignorance of what our bodies truly need for health and wellbeing.
Perhaps it is not so much a question of can we turn the tide on the modern day plague of self-disregard but more a question of how long is it going to take us to do so.
Very true Elizabeth. There is no question that we can do this, but we delay and delay choosing it. There is a huge resistance to truly self-caring, as individuals and as a collective society. We have all sorts of excuses, and we lie to ourselves and bury our heads in the sand. Yes, we can most definitely do it differently, but it is just a matter of when.
Taking responsibility for our health is paramount to living a healthy fulfilling life. Why would we not want to do this? To hand the responsibility of our health over to others is completely giving our power away and robs us of our natural joy.
Every moment we have a choice to be self-loving or disregarding. To be all of who we are and honour this to the best of our ability or to contract and shutdown and in doing so reduce who we are. Never have I realised or felt the difference in the past until I met Serge Benhayon and then I felt it for sure. I can’t ignores this or pretend that I did not feel the difference and this can now only be the way.
The topic of self-disregard and a level of responsibility for our health will continue to be a precarious one as long as we want to keep believing that we are disempowered and victims when it comes to health matters. To truly take responsibility for our health will need a scrutinise look at our life style, and let’s be honest, we want to avoid this for as long as we can (meaning for as long as our bodies will be reasonably functional or able to be fixed by the healthcare system)
Hmmm. Why is it that we avoid this responsibility so artfully? It doesn’t make any sense to disregard/abuse our bodies until they show us loud and clear the impact of our choices. There is something very amazing about putting ourselves back in the driving seat and realising the choices we have all the way.
Thank you Jane! No matter what goes on in our lives we are ultimately responsible for all that follows on from our decisions or lack of decision making.
There is so much for us to truly learn about our bodies and thereby challenge our accepted norms and disregard. A question I ask myself every time I see someone with a tattoo is: do we really know what effect tattoos have on this most sensitive and amazing organ of the body? It often feels to me like someone has punched holes in their body. I wonder if one day medical science will begin to understand the deeper health implications of artificially staining of this most protective, delicate and complex organ that continually defends us from invasion and feeds us vital information about the outside world.
This is a well needed subject to bring up for there are so many levels of self disregard. What I thought fifteen years ago to be disregarding to me now looks more like suicide and would probably kill me now if I did what I did back then now, but there are still many things that I do now that I may look back in another few years and think are not at all good. We all just need to get more honest and responsible.
Absolutely Jane, there is a lot of focus on illnesses, conditions and diseases but not so much clarity on their causes. We seem to prefer to disregard self-disregard. Perhaps this makes sense when you put it like this! Self-disregard is most often used to describe things we do to harm ourselves but today I am wondering if the description is actually more accurate and precise than we think – what if instead of just our body, we are actually ignoring and blocking out our true self? If this is the case it explains all the crazy choices we make. The great thing about this is we don’t need to fix our choices but just get clearer about who we are, and disregard all the bits that aren’t true.
Disregarding in just one single moment can cause a ripple effect of things thereafter.
Absolutely Doug. I have seen this change for many too but they have all had the same things in common – a commitment to truth, a commitment to being aware of the consequences of their choices, a commitment to being the love that they truly are. Speaking for myself this has presented many challenges as I have oscillated in and out of behavioural patterns that I took on as a way to numb myself from the disconnection I chose. The road back means I have to walk back through every unloving choice I have ever made but it is so, so worth it because at the end of the day I am coming home to who I truly am.
We are not starting a revolution by how we live. We are actually laying down our arms and surrendering to who we all truly are, the sons and daughters of God. Now that is a homecoming!
Self disregard is an ongoing epidemic in the human race and one that leaves us all bereft of living our potential… anywhere near it in fact.
Great point Matilda, we are all so much greater than what and how we choose to live life, when we deal with self disregard I have no doubt there will be great inspiration in the world.
We live in a society where it seems we can live how we like, do whatever we like to ourselves, take no responsibility in our own health at all then when something goes wrong we run along the doctors or the hospital and just expect to be fixed blaming everything from the neighbours dog to the power lines we live under for our illness or disease, without once looking at the way we are living. Before the NHS goes completely bust we all need to take responsibility for our own health and live in a way that reduces the risks of needing the service. Yes, of course there will be times when we need it, but if we could at least halve those times by making better lifestyle choices, maybe the NHS would stand more of a chance of surviving for the times we really need it.
The responsibility to care for ourselves and to turn the tide of the rising self disregard in the world is ours in our every day movements and Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is lighting the way for a real change in the way humanity is living as a whole showing that we really can change every thing if we start to listen our bodies and truly accept the love that is being offered.
This is a great article, what is even more interesting in our modern culture is that we actually champion self-disregard in Australia. I remember in high school the more badly you treated yourself, the cooler you were, bizarre? Now, the same thing still goes on with people I know, they all laugh and encourage each other to eat badly, got out and get trashed and brag about how many coffees they drink. The only thing you can do, is keep making self-care appealing and cool and then it gives others permission to do the same. Nobody really likes treating themselves badly but sadly it has become the cultural norm.
The current trajectory is not looking good. If we are expecting the NHS to be saving the day I do wonder who will be looking after who, because the NHS is made up of people who are not immune from the same ailments as we all are, especially when we disregard our health. The NHS isn’t a machine run by robots – though often staff are expected to perform long hours and expected to make no mistakes even when super tired. I see in many services people in caring professions getting burnt out and ill under stress.
Disregard: To be less than we are.
If we consider disregard as living less than who we are, that kind of blows the lid off so many behaviours that we think are okay, and justify to ourselves as being ok
because they’re not as bad as something more disregarding and more extreme. To see disregard as living less than who we are ups the ante on responsibility and asks us to get ever-more honest: are we living all of who we are in every moment, and if not, how is this affecting our health and wellbeing and those around us?
You paint a very bleak picture Jane and unfortunately it is a reality that we are all facing. I read recently in the USA that they have declared a state of emergency in regards to the prescribing of Opioids, there are so many people taking them and then when they don’t have the same effect anymore becoming hooked on even stronger drugs that it has reach epidemic proportions and the article suggested that it is knocking out the younger generation. My question has to be
“Why are we doing this to ourselves?”
Indeed each time we choose to disregard what our body is communicating we avoid the responsibility of bringing all that we are to life.
I felt an ouch moment when I read the words ‘self disregard’ in your blog Jane for straight behind those words came the word ‘responsibility’. There are still pockets of self disregard hanging around in my life which expose areas where I can bring more responsibility to my daily choices.
Thank you for the reminder to start simply by looking at areas of disregard.
‘Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives.’ -There is a vast gap between your suggestion here and the way we handle this in our society, where the attitude is that it is ‘nobody elses business but mine’.
The tide of change is a tsunami wave, and we are weighed down with our disregard. Was there an old story about a great wave that cleansed our self-disregard? It is long past due for a flood of love to erode the contempt and indifference that is everywhere!
We all have the capacity to live life leaving such an incredible footprint of love and the awesomeness of self-responsibility. It is very simple in those terms, but we first have have to be willing to see and extract ourselves from old destructive habits.
Self-disregard should be put on the Top 10 list of causes for all illness and disease, it may be even qualified for the number 1 as all our misery begins with not honouring or even not knowing ourselves to be pure love so that every tiny bit less than being the love we are made of and made to be is already disregard.
I know someone who is quite ill and they were chatting to me the other day and mentioned that a pharmaceutical company had come out with a new drug. It’s still in the trial stage – I was told that they didn’t know if it would help reduce the illness and it costs 60,000 GBP per dose. Wow! no wonder the NHS is bankrupt if it is having to stump up money for this trial drug. I had to ask my friend the question, these new drugs that are coming onto the market are supporting us to live longer but what is the quality of our lives? Will taking this drug make a difference to the quality of life for my friend and they answered no, it may just give them a few more months to live, assuming there are no side effects and as it is such a new drug no one really knows.
I find that I go into disregard when my day / life gets hard. I justify reaching for things that I know are not supportive by telling myself that they will help me get through the challenges. But the truth is they don’t, and they actually do the opposite.
I was working with someone the other day when she accidently dropped a cup on the floor and I was astounded at the barrage of self abusive comments that she then directed at herself, comments like ‘you stupid woman’ etc. I could feel how utterly harming that was for her body to treat herself and see herself like she did.
And the crazy thing is that this is seen to be a normal thing to do, a self-justice and punishment – not to speak of all the self-condemnation that is going on inside us and not necessarily being expressed out loud.
Approaching health care for the understanding of what is self-regard and how does this play a role in our well-being is a great starting point. One that can be introduced to everybody’s awareness at any stage of life – the beauty is it’s never too late.
Learning to not live with self-disregard is easy on one level as you can easily live a healthy well nurtured life but when you bring in the energetic factor it takes disregard to a whole deeper level. What if not expressing something you felt to was disregard? Or holding back in a relationship? Or even eating healthy food when you know you don’t need it despite the apparent nutritional benefits?
The levels of self disregard we have in society today with all of us is very much a taboo subject as more and more becomes acceptable and makes sense of the world health crisis currently out of control. “When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.” absolutely Jane so true and so loving to feel and know and to start making our own changes with this .
I agree – this feels like changing things from inside. We can’t bring something to others that we don’t live ourselves.
Even with the awareness we have through the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon, I know myself that I still have a level of disregard in my life. Your sharing Jane is a great reminder!
Self-disregard could be the word that turns the health care system on its head in this ‘Modern Era’
Sometimes we can have ways of doing things or familiar patterns of behaviour that we are so used to doing that we just take it for granted that it we have to live like that but by seeing another living more in true care and regard for their body and being can help us to open up to seeing things in a different light…
Medical professionals and teachers are overworked, underpaid and most of all under-appreciated for what they bring to all of us. Both of these professions we expect them to deal and fix the end product of our disregard for our self and our children. As you have stated Jane, the solution to this mess is in our hands.
Could it be possible that a study could be done on Jane, to enlighten the health care system that she works for on how to stay healthy?
It goes without saying that the medical profession has a duty of care to their patients, but do we as individuals have the same duty of care for ourselves, or do we do whatever we want to our bodies and then expect someone to fix us? Just imagine if we were all raised to understand that we have a most wonderfully precious body that will work so very well if we care for it and that if we don’t, it simply won’t. In essence, for every choice there is a consequence – a most important lesson for every child.
As you express Jane it is up to us to “turn the Tide” and by taking responsibility for looking after ourselves.
People are searching for another way, but while we make the focus of our health care system the budget and dont focus on the actual health of the people it is representing -and clearly showing is unsustainable, then nothing will change.
Maybe in the future Jane their will be wellbeing clinics that doctors can refer their patients to that will provide a tailored package that will support & empower people to take health into their own hands and in turn take the burden off the Healthcare systems around the world.
“What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all”. I think really there is no need for the “what if” – one has only to look at themselves and look around at others to notice that a lot of people are over weight, this is the big “elephant” in the room – a visible example of self-disregard.
What we would regard as being okay for us, can change enormously when you start to look at your life choices and wanting to live a healthier more vital life. Offering alternatives to those choices surely must come under your duty of care for the client.
Reading this blog and the comments is supporting me to talk to someone at work that everyone talks about but no one talks to, about her self care. Why do we make this such a difficult thing to communicate? Is it because we are jumping to the possible comeback and not feeling we can deal with it? It can be a delicate subject but I feel more confident now to lovingly share with my colleague and potentially clear the air.
This is great Elaine and is a great reminder to me of the responsibility we have to share our own experiences, so that others can/may be inspired to do the same in order to potentially inspire others.
“This raises a question: if we observe self-disregard in a patient, as a practitioner, who does that information belong to? Is it for us only, to know but to ‘live and let live’, or is it something to be expressed to the patient? Where does a duty of care begin and end in this case?” – Jane this is a very pertinent question that can make any practitioner squirm in their seat, for how many times can this sharing of what is really going on be given up in the face of not wanting to share ‘bad’ news with another? We can be seen as negative and harbingers of doom and gloom – but the reality is that if you do not know the full picture of what is going on, then there is little you can do to support yourself and truly get out of that situation. So best to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ for exposing what needs to be exposed, and hence you may not be popular, but you certainly will be offering opportunities for true change for the person, which is a gift in itself if they choose to see this as such.
It’s actually quite shocking to consider that we could send ourselves broke as countries from how we don’t have care and consideration for ourselves. Unfortunately we are learning the hard way here.
Bringing an honesty to the way we are living and what is contributing to our sickness, illness and diseases is the key to the tide changing. Taking the responsibility for our actions and choices is one that we can try and avoid because we don’t want to be accountable for it. The reality is that we are the only ones responsible for our bodies and that things don’t just suddenly appear there has to be a repetitive choice that is affecting the alignment in our body.
Why do we stand in the boat and complain about where we are going and command others to fix this problem and completely forget it is our responsibility to keep our hand on the rudder.
“…as we become a society dependent upon needing care for our ailments and woes.” The incredible reality that this line delivers is enough in itself to call us all to just stop and really really consider exactly where we are heading and if where we are heading has anything to do with the love that we can feel for each other.
Someone who does a lot of work in her local community may not consider herself first and self disregard may be an alien concept because many of us are brought up to put others first. Looking after any group of people when you are not in full health yourself can be exhausting and many burn out with exhaustion. Self love is not being selfish, it’s being sensible, making sure your body is capable of the additional workload of caring for others.
Looking after ourselves and caring about and loving ourselves is so missing and needed in the world and this is a great sharing offering the light to what is going on .”When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.” Well said and beautiful
The love for ourselves makes all the difference in life and in the state of our body. If we don’t love an care for ourselves and our body we don’t even bother to clean our teeth, or digest a meal, or go to bed at a reasonable hour – the body is just used as something to exploit, the way that big mining or oil companies sometimes go in and plunder land without love and respect. Love is all there is.
I am noticing the effect on my friends and relatives when I tell them that taking better care of myself has been the most important thing that I have done to improve the quality of my life.. They agree that it makes sense but there is a part of them that does not want go there, because then they will have look at their own lives, and maybe realize they are not truly taking care of themselves.
This reluctance to go there is all about responsibility, there is something about that word scares people. Yet most people would agree that if everyone would take true responsibility for there lives it would change the world.in many ways.
It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves in such a way that supports our world, and to reflect that way of living back to everyone else.
it’s so true that everyone can see how important self-responsibility is, and can see how this would contribute to the health of the world, but when it comes down to making the choices for oneself this bigger picture is hard to hold onto or live up to. Yes, we need to consider the impact we are having on everyone else through our choices, but ultimately we need to love ourselves enough to want to take deep care of ourselves. If we start from there the bigger picture takes care of itself.
Even when we are severely sick we can continue to live with disregard, I have often found it very shocking to see so many people smoking outside hospital buildings when what is clearly needed is deep love and care.
As we develop ways of self regard, it then reveals the old ways and patterns of disregard that we at one time thought were self regarding… Self regard is a forever evolving process.
It really is quite simple if we do not have the foundations of self-care right – looking after ourselves, eating well, getting to bed on time and being aware of our thoughts and the impact they have on us we will not be able to offer anybody else true care.
Looking after ourselves well automatically means we are better able to care for another.
There was a time when I would not have related the state of my mouth health, or the state of my nails to that of not taking true care of myself, in other words self-disregard. But the more attention and care I take of myself in other more obvious ways, like the food I eat, and the time I go to bed, getting enough exercise etc, the more I am understanding that any part of us that we neglect is disregarding of ourselves. So when looked at from a bigger picture, the general state of self disregard in society is very high. Its definitely a conversation that we need to be having with each other more and more.
I totally understand why self-disregard is so common and has become so normal that it isn’t a consideration. Of course, there are many levels of it, but from personal experience, we self-disregard when we feel we are of little worth or of value. This issue stems from when we are very young when we are neither confirmed for who we are or confirmed for what we bring just by being who we are. The disregard is simply a way to medicate against this and yet if we truly started to appreciate our worth (which would then mean we could communicate their own worth to our children) we would find that we would naturally start to take better care of ourselves. This wouldn’t cost the NHS a penny!
Most would not consider that they were living in self disregard as we tend to think it would be someone who is homeless or some such thing. We don’t see our everyday unloving choices as being disregarding, because we are happy to be in our comfortable choice to ignore our bodies needs in favour of what we enjoy.
Being pro-active with our own wellbeing is surely common-sense. I like the example of taking care of our teeth. We don’t leave it until we have toothache before we brush our teeth but look after them on a daily basis. This is a loving and caring thing to do for ourselves. But why stop there? Why not apply the same self-care process to the rest of our bodies? When I do this, I find my body responds very beautifully.
“if we observe self-disregard in a patient, as a practitioner, who does that information belong to?” Great question Jane, maybe in some cases the health care professional is in dis-regard and the patients issues in also being in disregard goes out the window as they can only reflect the level of regard they are living?
The topic of self-disregard is a much-needed conversation as currently it feels like a taboo subject which everyone sees in another and I suspect, often doesn’t say anything because one then will have to own up to where there is self-disregard in their lives too. There’s nothing stopping me from starting this conversation when it’s appropriate – I don’t have to wait until I’ve moved out of the green house into the brick house to throw stones; and this conversation doesn’t have to feel like stones are being thrown which is the fear because we are so defensive of avoiding the hurts the self-disregarding behaviours are employed to protect.
Often it is seen as cool to be in disregard. And taking care of ourselves is seen as uncool. It’s like there is a collective consciousness that has decided to dishonour the body. It’s crazy! Yes, this does feel like a taboo subject.
It’s interesting that we have a world where many of us will only spend 10 minutes with a doctor discussing our health (one of the most, if not the most important part of our lives) and how much detail and valuable information must get missed because of the time pressures on GP’s. Is it time for us to take more responsibility for our own health and well being to take the pressure off the heavily burdened NHS? Might this in turn then allow more space for Dr’s to be able to truly support the patients that come into their surgeries?
Absolutely Jane. If we live in such a way that causes illness and disease and then have a massive expectation for the doctors to fix us without accepting any responsibility for how we arrived in the doctor’s surgery in the first place then, of course, we are creating a massive imbalance in society and one which at the end of the day will have to be corrected.
This is absolutely huge and definitely makes me squirm as many health professionals have pointed out my disregard over the years. I can also see that many of the health professionals I’ve seen are unwilling to talk about disregard because they are living with a lot of disregard themselves.
Indeed where does our duty of care begin for ourselves. If we cannot care for ourselves what is the quality of care we can hold for another?
GPs should be trained on how to fit a whole ‘session’ as it were into a 5-10 minute consultation, where nobody gets any less care because of the pressure on time however each patient is seen with efficiency, purpose, precision but also understanding and love.
People use to live unaware of the level of disregard they live in. Those stop moments that a health professional may offer to them as a patients to reflect on the way they relate to their body, are paramount for them to know the lack of self-care that has taken to them to that point as well as the opportunity to make another more loving choices in their lives. It’s always a matter of responsibility in both ways.
Self-disregard will disappear when people know a better approach to deal with their tension and emotions in life. At the moment that is the best way that they find easy to implement.
It’s clear that anything and everything is possible, its just down to us both individually but also as a group, as a society and as a humanity. For me the key was with the support of Universal Medicine in getting to heal why I would be disregarding and not just try to stop the disregard. I had not appreciated that fixing something is very different from healing before meeting Serge.
Maybe the time has come for us “to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives.” So that we see the ills that we have called normal but in reality we are dis-regarding what can keep us from the ills.
I always find it amazing that we feel (as healthcare professionals or not) it is rude, overstepping boundaries etc to share with someone our observations of them. I feel to do this is to show deep care and respect for each other, yet we can react quite emotionally violent when we hear this feedback off another…. This is crazy we are reacting to the fact someone has a deep care and respect for us. I feel it is our desire to disguise our irresponsibility for how we live as well as our need for perfection, control and the need to be right that hinders us from feeling the respect and care another is sharing with us.
Self disregard should be a topic we are all talking about including responsibility and taking full responsibility for our health (or ill health). There is going to come a time when we can but not ignore that how we live affects our health and wellbeing. I would rather this be sooner than later.
That is true, especially once we know how to take responsibility without imposing another set of concepts and ideas that look and sound good but that deep down don’t allow true responsibility.
The serious truth about self-disregard is a much needed conversation. When we experience the enormous benefits of even the most basic self-care, love and appreciation for ourselves grows, and we can start to make life about truly living and not just surviving the day.
When I consider the foulness with which I used to endlessly speak to myself, the absence of this disrespect and unkindness, is really miraculous… a turn around that has incrementally come about as I have worked with the teachings of Universal Medicine.
When you look at the people who are in hospital it is easy to see how self disregard can be responsible for many of the illnesses being treated there – many are overweight, presumably from eating foods that do not truly nourish or from having a sedentary lifestyle with no exercise, some people look very grey, perhaps from smoking all their lives, others have injuries caused by sporting or vehicle accidents – all of these can be avoided when we take responsibility for our own healthcare.
It can be uncomfortable to initially realise the level of true self-regard and care has been missing the mark. It’s so easy to think we are ticking the boxes. For me it has been essential to re-introduce a sweet, simple love of and for myself and with this the level and quality of regard naturally increases.
By speaking to people about the disregard they have for themselves, we empower them with an opportunity to see they themselves are a key factor to their own health and wellbeing.
We have appointment schemes, walk in centres and A & E that are never not busy and full of people requiring some treatment. What if there were, well centres that you could drop in and leave samples of fluids that were tested and the results would be sent to you with recommendations and maybe a Skype call for face to face interaction. Could it be, that the only way it would work is if we started to accept our responsibility to the well being of the vessel we occupy? How much money is spent, in vain for healthy ways to stop overeating, smoking, drinking and the raft of other programs that fall on deaf ears?
Awesome Steve, this could change the way we all go about looking into our health, we could see a specialist from half way around the world via Skype and maybe even never have to leave our house to see a health care practitioner!
There are many levels of regards or dis-regard that we can have. Being shown that here is the possibilty to have regard in every single moevement or not has been an eye opener to just how much deeper I/we can go.
“…What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all…” This would lead to increased awareness and hopefully changes lifestyle choices.
Supporting our health care is something we are all responsible for both with ourselves and others in our lives. The more we can be open and honest the more we also allow others the gift of opening up seeing and understanding the need for this in the world.We are all here to care and love both ourselves and others from within and the difference this makes is amazing to see.
Quite often when we are in such disregard we are not able to see that we are, I used to live the ultimate unhealthy lifestyle making all the wrong choices like smoking, drinking and eating whatever took my fancy. Although I was over weight I still felt ok and functioned pretty well and the trouble was that I’m not sure if someone told me I needed to look at the way I was living that I would have listened, in fact I can say if I was honest that I would have shrugged it off and told them to mind their own business. It took meeting someone that was living in a true way to make me see the errors of my ways and looking back now, even though I still have a long way to go, I really can’t believe the disregard I used to live in and would hate to see the state I would be in now if I had carried on the way I was living all those years ago. We seriously do need to look at our lifestyles and start making the choices that relieve the pressure on health all around the world.
“And what if part of that duty of care also lies with us as citizens, as patients – are we open to receiving those observations and to discussing self-disregard, with a view to understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?” I have found that the people who come to see me in sessions always seem open to discussion about making certain changes in their lives to arrest the disregarding areas, this is a great start for self-transformation. The more we can be open to having an honest discussion the more evolution is possible for our lives.
Jane I volunteer at my local hospital and see just how over worked the staff are, but at the same time how much they do care about their patients. But because of their work load they have little time to sit and chat; this is where we ‘society’ can come in and support them by volunteering sometime to just sit and chat with the patients. I find this extremely rewarding because I feel I’m contributing back to our society as a whole and the patients so appreciate someone to chat to as it can be very dull lying in a hospital bed all day.
And I am amazed actually just how many people give up their time to volunteer at the hospitals all around the country, but there is always more we can do and after all it is ‘our’ health care system, we all depend on it and it badly needs supporting.
Such an interesting topic Jane – thank you for initiating the conversation. This raises many questions such as: Do we take ourselves to a health practitioner to confirm the way we are living, to be open to being reflected the truth of how we are living which may need adjusting, or do we take ourselves to a health practitioner to get the OK that we can continue with our disregarding lifestyle as we are, for now, seemingly getting away with it? In essence are we willing to be met by the truth and embrace responsibility for our health and well-being? For at the end of the day do we not all want to live in a body that is radiating with natural vitality, well-being and bounding with joy, all of which is naturally possible through our willingness to be honest about the choices we are making and way we care for our ourselves and our bodies.
As a society we continually want to get ‘out of it’ . This is our relief and ‘reward’ for not living the Love we truly are, and not wanting to feel the actual pain of that.
Disregard in all its forms is reflected all around us every day. Choosing a life that is filled with self-regard, self care and self love offers a different reflection and is a panacea for the out of control disregard that is currently the world’s primary way of living.
What would no self-disregard look like? Why did the world decide to have smallpox inoculations for all children and to what end result? What was the cost savings, not that cost should ever be a health issue? What if we had normal good health examinations as part of a normal life instead of our only fixing something after it breaks? And, why do we wait to have regular checks only after we have broken something? Why have we lost the ounce of prevention that is equal to a pound of cure?
With the rise of illness and disease, we certainly have to “… start somewhere – where better to start than with self-disregard?…” Starting with our selves, is the way to go.
It appears to me that disregard of all sorts is impacting individual lives and society in a huge way. We are on the whole choosing to be blinkered about the actual impact of our every choice. We are actually talking about responsibility to ourselves and the whole.
How often do we not lovingly call each other up on it on a daily basis is not happening, is because we prefer to not to be called up on it ourselves. “I wont call you on yours as long as you don’t call me on mine” kind of attitude.
All ill health points to the fact that there is a greater responsibility to live. A responsibility most do not want to embrace or to feel and hence why most feel they cannot speak up about it or change it. We are in the out play of the biggest war known to man. A war within ourselves.
‘One of the issues healthcare professionals face is the tiny amount of time they have with each patient.’ there is no time to build a relationship, to understand all the medical issues and problems and mistakes can be made when incorrect information is passed on like Chinese Whispers.
When I look around our society self-disregard seems to be celebrated and encouraged, a classic example is alcohol. This makes me wonder, what is going on? Why are we as a society accepting and often striving for self-disregard instead of self-love and self-care?
We have made self-disregard so normal and even championed – pushing through and working, getting things done and not letting our exhustion or need for care get in the way are all seen as good qualities, rather than teaching that above everything we need to look after ourselves.
Jane, the issue of “Self-disregard” could certainly be the major theme topic for a thesis… this is huge, is relevant and and has multiple implications in many aspects of health care. Great that you have lifted the lid to start the conversation.
“What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all” I completely agree we could have this as something that we openly speak about, what if each day the newspapers of the world united on the topic and we as a society actually spoke about it. It’s interesting to consider how much of an impact that would make.
The level of self disregard is gauged by our level of self love and acceptance, when we are open to go deeper with ourselves in this way we can clear much and therefore contribute from the love factor and not from the avoiding factor.
I love the way you have expressed this Julie… it makes much sense. If we come from a level of self-love then the choices we make are naturally shifting all the time to keep pace with the respect and love we have for ourselves. If we tackle the problem from ‘have too’ we tend to avoid it with everything we have got.
With self disregard rising every moment it is truly time for a change, much needed with the real understanding of what is going on underneath and the energetic factor of life. Bringing awareness and conversation to this is the only way to bring light to the crisis for all humanity by each of us choosing to see and care for ourselves first and thus for others by our responsibility and integrity from within.
Self-disregard is a problem that most of us don’t recognise we have… It’s a multi layered thing, like an onion that seems to have thousands of layers. We get to one layer thinking we have self-regard covered only to discover tons more disregard underneath.
Every part of our body and every part of our lives offers a opportunity to communicate the quality of our living and choices.
I have been talking with people about how our lifestyle has a huge effect on our health. Most people agree that it makes sense. Then I talk about the increased levels of illness and disease in the world and that it is because people are not taking care of themselves.
This stops people because then they feel that, oh, maybe I do not take care of myself. Maybe the way I am living is the cause of my problems.
This is the kind of conversation it takes to bring up the fact that something is not working in the world and taking responsibility for our own lives is the way to make a true change.
Yes we do need to talk about what is happening the fact that the facts speak so loudly shows that we really do not want to know our health is in our hands.
Being open to people sharing their observations of how you’re living like in the case of the dental nurse is nothing but a blessing. If there is an opportunity there to learn or take on board something that will ultimately assist you in taking more care of yourself, then how is that not a great thing? Taking responsibility for our health is something we are not doing well.
Making self-disregard an everyday conversation is something that needs to happen and judging by the increase in illness and disease, needs to happen fairly quickly as it is well overdue. No longer can we ignore that the NHS is under so much pressure that it’s about to collapse under the weight of our ill choices.
I went to the dentist recently and he said my gums where ‘exquisite’, amazing to hear this confirmation and appreciation, self-care works, I did not just think it was about my gums, they reflect how I am with myself in all areas of life.
This is just lovely Samantha. I wonder how often a dentist uses the word exquisite when looking into someone’s mouth! And you’re right, when we take care of one part of our body in this way it refelcts how we take care of ourselves in general and that is what another feels even if they are not aware of it.
This is deeply inspiring as you can feel how this reflects so much more than your gums.
Yes this is very much one of the next steps that are needed to be embraced by all of us. We need not only talk about this with our patients but go deeper and wonder and or explore together why we do self-disregard because just calling out the disregard we see in others like smoking for instance is not always making the change because there is so much underneath the smoking habit of why the person smokes that has to be dealt with first.
Yes, often the behaviour that manifests (smoking, eating excessively etc.) is the end result of a cascade of self-disregard and lack of self worth. Getting to the core of things and building back from there is what can bring about healing.
Jane I feel that we can turn the tide if we see the importance of the tide change being needed and are willing to take responsibility for this. Growing up I wanted someone else to make things ‘better’ and it’s only been in the last 10 years or so and really the more recent years where I’ve start to actually embrace my choices and the fact that self disregard is ultimately down to me no one else. However this would not have been possible without Serge Benhayon and hence the need for us as a society to support the tide change together.
We don’t like being told by our practitioner that the reason why we are there is to fix something that we have played a significant part in its manifestation. We know, we are the problem, so why do we behave like a scolded child when told off, it is like getting our hand caught in the cookie jar. We have two choices; just get the Band-Aid or make new choices to not return to the disregard that started it all.
Self-disregard or self-regard it all comes back to whether we want to take responsibility for ourselves and our choices. And the consequences are being demonstrated by the rapid growth in illness and disease that we are not doing this. As the supposedly most intelligent species on this planet we need to be asking ourselves why this is the case. It is time we stopped the self-abuse and began listening to, honouring and taking self-loving care of our bodies and yes, then we can begin to turn the tide on this modern day plague.
Disregarding the fact that we have a body that needs to be cared for and nurtured is an open invitation to illness and disease and yet we as the people are always shocked when we find out that we have cancer or some other chronic illness when the invitation was already issued long in advance. But what is even more interesting is looking at why as intelligent beings we choose different toxic lifestyles.
This is an important conversation to be had. It is because self disregard is so commonplace, amongst health professionals and the general population that there is often not the blink of an eyelid. It is only from a body that lives with care, where disregard has been honestly and openly addressed that this reflection and consideration can be shared with another.
We need to be each other’s true role models. That is the inspiration that we do need to be offering ourselves and each other.
What if we were taught from an early age the importance of taking care of our bodies and the traps of all the things set along our path we have not walked yet to pull us away from our commitment to self?
There is still a significant mismatch between us knowing that chronic illness is life style related and acting on this. I am discovering there are many reasons for this. One is that medicine has been taking responsibility for our health for too long, where we should be stepping up and owning our health problems, then asking for help. I also find that what is sold as a ‘healthy lifestyle’ is not actually working for us. It’s another ideal that doesn’t actually fit. Each person’s healthy lifestyle needs to be tailored to their body and life, and the body needs to be constantly asked how this looks and feels.
The pull to abuse ourselves in many different ways is so strong. I have found that it is futile to tell myself to stop doing this. The pull of food that I want to eat is too strong if I only have myself to contend with afterwards. What I have discovered is that by developing my relationship with God it totally turns everything on its head. By experiencing the divine quality in my body when I connect with God I value and treasure that feeling so much, that I then do not want to do anything that will interrupt, numb or take me away from that feeling. I treasure my connection with God more than I treasure the food. When I am in connection with this it makes all my decisions easier and I am then less likely to abuse myself with food.
What you are talking about here Jane is just good old fashion honesty in a world that is lacking so much truth. Last time I was in hospital the patient opposite me announced that he had put on a stone in weight since being in there, he was overweight anyway and all he would do is sleep and eat. On the menu there were very sugary desserts but there was no one there to suggest that maybe he should possibly lay off the desserts and try a less fattening option.
No government in the world can afford the level of health care required to manage the current rates of illness and disease. Addressing our self-disregard will go along way to turning around looming health care cuts.
I love the inspiration of the fact that it is one by one that we turn a tide… this wakes me up to the responsibility I have as one, rather than the helpless approach I have had of ‘what is the point I am only one’.
‘Self-disregard’ could well and truly in future, be included as a symptom when taking a health history of patients… especially when you consider the fact that lifestyle diseases are on the increase and are predominantly caused by the disregarding choices one makes towards themselves.
It is so easy to ignore and dismiss what is going on and being presented to us with so many different distractions like food, sport, relationships, shopping, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee to name a few. When we start to be honest we start to realise that there is a reason why we don’t want to look at the truth. It hurts to much and it is much easier to dis-regard ourselves in what ever form we choose.
It is a pretty bleak picture to imagine bankrupt nations due to an overwhelming healthcare crisis. But not so when the work of Universal Medicine comes in to focus, because with this organisation we have not necessarily all the answers, but definitely the support to begin to ask all the right questions.
To disregard ourselves is to deny ourselves true health and vitality.
Because of the overwhelmed health system, making appointments can be a protracted and arduous task that many times more time than the appointment we are attempting to make. In 2015 the NHS revealed the cost of £162m for missed GP and £750 million for hospital missed appointments. Is this just the tip of the iceberg in the actual cost of our self-disregard?
I was interested and somewhat horrified that the black plague still exist in different parts of the world and has outbreaks occasionally and yet in comparison to the levels of illness and disease we have today it does not make the headlines as much. Perhaps this is because disregard is the modern plague.
If we consider that we are in essence beings of exquisite quality and sensitivity, such as we see, feel and regard in babies and very small children, then the way we treat ourselves in our everyday makes no sense at all. It is easy to see what ‘disregard’ is when we use this as a simple measure. We do not change in our essence, only in our size and capacity to be responsible. In fact we supposedly get smarter, and yet we take increasingly less care of ourselves as precious cargo.
Very true Jenny – it’s interesting that we consider what we have learnt as we grow up when we become so disregarding of ourselves as opposed to the natural way we have a child.
Yes once you start to examine it, the way we champion and applaud what it means to ‘grow up’ and be responsible adults has little to do with the degree to which we remain truly loving towards ourselves. It doesn’t rate as a measure really… with success associated with smarts, wealth, qualifications, marriage, kids and other outer measures.
I was in a cafe the other day with a work mate and looking around I observed on each table there was funnily enough two guys eating their breakfasts which all seemed to be all full English ( egg bacon sausage the works) and every one of these guys was over weight and each one of them probably eats this way every morning. Now I can’t talk because I used to eat this way everyday myself and I used to weigh a lot more than I do now and if I had carried on I would have been just like the guys on the other tables. The only difference is that I came upon Universal Medicine and because of this learnt about self-care, but without this I was stuck in a consciousness of disregard, a hard one to break because we are not really even aware of the harm we are causing to our bodies.
The ‘modern-day’ plague of ‘self-disregard’ can’t be reversed by a pill, but can be eradicated by one choosing to reconnect with their body and re-aquainting with their exquisite quality and essence under their skin… then there’s no way one would want to disregard that and hence, themselves or their body. Self-Care is body connection.
There is more disregard for self than we care to see. The only way out of this is to heal the hurts that lie far deeper than the physical ailments arisen from physical choices.
‘One of the issues healthcare professionals face is the tiny amount of time they have with each patient.’ – It would be of great support for the healthcare professionals if we as patients dealt with this fact with understanding and respect, as opposed to adding to the stress they are under by meeting them with irritation, blame and critizism.
There are so many levels of self disregard, and the more we become aware of this and the deeper we address it, the more we expose the less obvious and often hidden patterns of behaviour where we choose to not take complete care of ourselves.
I love how this article talks about bringing awareness and understanding to each other. Using our positions, not as a “do as I say” way of expressing, but as an opportunity to share with another what is being observed, with nothing but the integrity of offering another the precious gift of understanding and through the way we live a reflection of living that each of us knows innately. This could well begin to turn the tide of self disregard, for when there is no judgement there is the space to feel and observe ones own choices.
Everything we do reflects the self-regard we hold ourselves with. I ponder through my work sometimes that when we present an aspect of our physical body to the care of another – what level of care can be offered when the base line of care up to that point is low? Are we expecting to hand over a broken down something and expect someone else to make it whole again/fix it in an instant?
And we know that so much is delivered naturally through our lived way. How, when the cells of our body sing in spaciousness and expansion we inspire the cells of the body next to us – everything is one and we are exchanging energy all the time.
It seems as though we battle through life with our illnesses accumulating as if we have had nothing to do with the conditions in the first place, and for the best part throw solutions at them – I know I did this for years and never asked myself what my part in it all was.
Dis-regarding ourselves by way of overriding the body, is the incubation period for ‘dis-ease’.
Wow. This is a wake up and take notice sentence. What are we choosing today that is incubating health problems around the corner?
I agree, a big wake up sentence, it calls to stop, sit with it and consider our daily choices.
Will it have get to a point that there are more sick people than healthy and there is no one to look after the sick because they are all sick or exhausted,before we start taking the needed action to turn this whole thing around. The only way is for each and every one of us to become aware of the problem and know that it is not magically going to disappear unless we all start taking responsibility for our lifestyle choices.
Interesting point Kev – I guess in considering what is truly healthy we could be reaching that point already with many living with exhaustion, anxiousness and other conditions that they are not even aware of.
Openly honestly talking about our self disregard is something much needed in the world as things are getting so much more extreme and ignorance and hiding can no longer happen and be buried as everything is getting brought up and exposed in our faces every day. The love and understanding we can bring into our lives for ourselves and others is very special and a real gift to treasure along with the different changes and choices we can make openly with the responsibility of love we all carry.
We all know it, the NHS knows it, the government knows it… if we as a population or society simply took more care of ourselves on a daily basis the demands, strains and drains on our healthcare systems would be far less – in my opinion it is the only way out of the healthcare crisis we are already in.
When we don’t disregard the details in our thoughts and impulses and the way we are in life- we get the blessing of seeing how everything is connected and that we will be perpetually energised and inspired.
Healthcare reform is a hot topic at the moment. And currently we are overlooking the simplicity and fundamentals that could bring about true change. As we, one by one, make the shift in our relationship with ourselves from irresponsibility and dis-regard to responsibility and regard, we will see massive shifts in our health stats.
True Matilda, there is an absolute simplicity to the answer for change, but we are currently barking up the wrong tree and have taken a wide diversion on the road. What if the answer did lie with us as individuals to make different choices? Wouldn’t the whole of society and health change as result?
‘are we open to receiving those observations and to discussing self-disregard, with a view to understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?’ – It is certainly possible, if and when we are willing to take full responsibility for our own choices and own up to the fact that every choice we make comes with a consequence.
It’s a sobering but so needed conversation: what is the impact on my body, health and wellbeing of the disregard I choose to be in?
I found it was easy to ignore the self disregard I used to live in my life because it was my normal, and the normal of all around me. It isn’t until we start to feel how that accumulates and we get an illness that makes us stop and look how we have been living that this is exposed. Our way of living is in our hands, we have free will to make our choices but the body will take the hit as a result of those choices when they are not loving choices.
And while we have free will, it seems to be the mind that chooses to exercise this over the truth of the body.
“What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all” I agree it would change so many things in life, as self-disregard is behind many of the ways we live life.
‘ When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.’ So true Jane, it is completely and totally up to us.
My diet and way of life is so much ‘healthier’ than it has ever been, but I still find myself falling into areas of dis-regard. I use ‘healthy’ food to overeat or comfort me, and I find myself moving in a way that is dis-regarding. It’s a different level of awareness and refinement, but it’s still dis-regard. This is a big thing to knock on the head.
I agree Jane, this discussion is very much needed. Some many accidents, illnesses and disease can be prevented if we live with greater self- regard. Plus our relationship would also flourish because it brings out the fullness of who we are, with love, tenderness and care towards ourselves this will naturally be reflected out towards others and the world.
I feel healthcare systems are acutely aware that something has to change as they cannot be financially sustainable the way they are going. However, we the public do not seem so concerned about our rising ill-health, as having at least one chronic disease has become the norm. I also see that the way health professionals and systems deal with people hasn’t really changed from its paternalistic, experts who will fix-it roots. As Einstein once suggested, to seek answers from the thinking that caused the problem in the first place will only lead to similar solutions, as it’s all coming from the same thinking. This is what I see in health, that while we are not willing to embrace energetic responsibility, we will only have band aids not true change.
Yes, using the same thinking to fix what that thinking created in the first place does not work. It explains well how solutions go round and round in circles. A new system is introduced as if it’s new but speak to old timers and they’ll remember when the ‘new’ system was in use years ago. But it was found wanting so another then ‘new’ system was introduced: now the soon to be old system. The changeover causes disruption which distracts us from having to accept no system works unless we addresses our lack of energetic responsibility.
We all know that poor health is the result of poor lifestyle choices, yet we have not looked at what is underneath those poor lifestyle choices. What is underneath is self-disregard. So really addressing our self-disregard will go along way to turning around our current health crises.
When we began to look at our self-disregard, are we practising future health care?
Such a much needed conversation and really when we stop and look at all the statistics and rate of ill-ness and dis-ease we are actually being forced to look at it, that is why we are getting sick. So what will happen if we don’t listen the first, the second time and so on, what if we continue to compound in our being a disregard so strong and deep? Welcome to the multi symptomatic man/woman and how there is a regular issue that we are being presented with. What I love is how Serge Benhayon has been presenting since 1999 the body is the marker of all truth. So when are we going to start to take responsibility for our choices?
You have raised things here I know I need to look at in my daily living and I am living choosing to be aware so how many people don’t even contemplate what self-disregard is?
We pride ourselves as being the most intelligent species on the planet, but I’m not sure there are any other species who have such high levels of self-disregard. The way we treat ourselves is quite shocking when you truthfully look at it.
And when we are honest enough about this fact we have the opportunity to be more open to questioning what we currently consider intelligence to be. We might then see the blindness of our current trajectory.
‘Self-disregard: can we turn the tide of this modern day plague?’ – My answer would be a definite yes, but only if we are willing to take responsibility for our own choices and see how they in turn affect, not only our health and wellbeing, but everyone and everything around us. Nothing will ever change if we choose to sit around and wait for someone to come and save us or do the changes for us.
This is such a great conversation to start Jane between all of us because it is increasingly becoming apparent that despite all the information and technology in the world, human beings continue to insist on not taking care of themselves. It is a conundrum that the NHS and the medical world has yet to be fully understand simply because we insist on making human life purely physical and are neglecting to include and mention the energetic being.
I think a good place to start is just being honest with ourself about the ways in which we do or don’t take care of our body and being (in all areas of life) – once we recognise something we’re doing, or not doing, that doesn’t feel right then we have a clearer choice about whether we want it to change or not….
Your use of the word “curiosity” is very pertinent Jane. It’s something that I remember having all of my life. I would look at the world, at my life, at the existence that we were living and ask “is this it?”. That simple question led, via some fairly circuitous diversions!, to Serge Benhayon and The Way of the Livingness; the only place where I have found true answers to my initial curiosity.
We may think we eat healthily but there is always a level of refinement we can go to, it doesn’t stop
The little things when it comes to caring for ourselves can add up. It’s worth doing a little experiment to see how often we sit in front of a computer to eat – compromising digestion, how often we eat on the move, pick-up snacks along the way and consider the quality of the nourishment of these items. We might surprise ourselves if we are willing to be honest.
Great reminder Jane, one moment’s lapse of awareness doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to re-play as we are learning. This is what kids do constantly – they are such great teachers while they are students of their own experiments.
Self-disregard – justified by all kinds of explanations and excuses why it is okay to be less than 100% loving, honouring and caring.
Disregard is a huge problem throughout humanity. The longer we ignore the fact that our bodies require us to treat it lovingly, with respect and in complete consideration of the exquisite beauty it holds, the sooner the loud and clear messages will follow from it, to remind us of that fact.
In our ignorance and arrogance, we extol the fact that we are no longer plagued by various diseases. There is no question that modern medicine has worked amazing miracles in protecting us from the ravages that have been caused by plagues and epidemics over history and so, on the surface, it looks like we are doing great…but you only need to scratch that surface very lightly to see that the picture is actually very different. One might struggle to consider self-disregard an illness or disease in the same way that cancer or diabetes is, but is that in fact the problem? Articles and conversations like this are the new frontier in true health care and in time to come will be seen as vital turning points in the history of medicine.
Love it, Otto and Jane. I have to agree with both of you, how much has changed other than the name we give these diseases? It seems we think we have evolved, we have better hygiene and water systems but we are so far away from having loving respectful relationship with everyone around us and that has to have an effect on both mental and physical health. Just because it is not the Bubonic Plague, it doesn’t mean it is not life threatening in its effect and consequence.
It’s brilliant what you write here Jane. In the same way that a company or newspaper or even a person can disappear when disgraced or criminalised and then just re-appear with a different name; nothing truly having changed, so too do these diseases. In all of life, it is only when we get to the root that we can truly heal.
Interesting to equate it to the tides. I was standing on a beach with my feet in the Pacific Ocean and was very surprised to feel the force of the rip underneath the calm surface. Even in shallow water I could feel the power and danger of the tide; a few more inches deeper and I would have been in real danger. Our continuing self dis-regard is a very strong tide pulling us into serious danger.
It is true, I have felt the same Ottobathurst, how silly is it that we are not all talking about this pull and supporting each other to step out of the water, forever being aware of our surroundings and how much choice we have in exposing ourselves to the pull of the tide. I will have fresh eyes this morning!
A powerful sharing Jane on the true responsibility we all hold and the ignoring of this by our very own disregard of ourselves and the effect this has. A wake up call to deeply care and love ourselves and the world as a whole.
Self disregard really is a modern day plague. In a modern world that is plentiful our new disease is over indulgence. It is causing a new epidemic.
There is an arrogance that comes with self-disregard of not caring…. I have felt it in myself many a time. If I am about to eat, or do something that is not going to support my body, in the moment there is an absolute not wanting to care. Then I beat myself up for the resulting consequences for how my body feels, only to compound the disregard further. The loop is a merry-go-round than can go on for ages, until my body forces me to care. Isn’t this the most bizarre way of being, when to my core all I really want to feel is a high level of care, tenderness and great well-being?
The matter of self disregard when it comes to looking after our teeth is a great example of how this can play out. By bringing our full focus to the tiny details of thoroughly cleaning in between our teeth, can and usually does have a knock on effect to the rest of our lives. By bringing this attention to detail to one area, it supports and inspires us to bring that same attention to detail to other areas of our lives as well.
How have we got to the point where we feel helpless when it comes to our own health and well-being. At what point did common sense go out of the window, and how is it that we have lost the ability to make very simple changes to our lives that will benefit our own health and the health of the NHS.
This is a great topic of conversation Jane as I feel that if as a society we don’t start to take those steps of self -responsibility then life will only get worse. I do wonder how far we have to fall before we as a race of human beings wake up and see the error of our ways. If we look back at our history we have lived very decadent lives in the past. Perhaps it’s time to learn from our history rather than keep repeating the same mistakes again.
Until humanity begins to take responsibility for their health and not simply expect that when they are ill or injured that their health system will be there to fix them, the continuing surge in lifestyle illnesses and diseases will not ease up. Even the reports that lifestyle related conditions are threatening to bankrupt many countries medical systems and there may come a time when there is no one to turn to for that fix doesn’t seem to be waking many people up from the irresponsible way they have been living; so I wonder what it will take for that to happen?
The definition of duty of Care in the dictionary is: the legal obligation to safeguard others from harm while they are in your care. So as a practitioner, a carer, a mother and as a friend we all have a duty of care with the people we know so why would we not broach the subject of disregard if we were observing this behaviour in another, knowing how harmful it can be.
This is really fascinating MaryLouise; isn’t it crazy that there are all these guidelines and laws and methods of practice for the care of others…surely we need exactly the same, at the very least, for the care of ourselves? And, if we want to get very practical and legal about it; when we know that self-disregard costs such a gigantic amount of money to the NHS then surely we have a legal obligation to take care of ourselves. By extrapolation from what you present here MaryLouise, the NHS should in theory be able to sue us for not taking care of ourselves. That may sound absurd – but actually it is a direct extension of the laws that are in place for the care of others, so why not for ourselves?
Sometime after beginning to change my way from living in a very disregarding way to being loving and caring with myself, a constant refining process, I realised the impact my disregarding choices had had on many other people in my life, they weren’t just affecting me.
Let us not forget that to dis-regard our own bodies, dis-regards everyone. It is never about us alone. Taking responsibility to turn the tide in our own lives affects every one we meet and even those we don’t.
Self-disregard leads to self-disease! What would it cost to do annual extensive well-being checkups that include a lot of blood tests that expose things that are not physically apparent? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Our self-disregard exists because we think we deserve the right to treat our bodies with that disregard, to eat foods that taste good but hold no nutritional value, to watch TV for hours on end and not move other than to switch channels, to indulge in drinking alcohol even though we aren’t ourselves once we do. All of this disregard leaves its mark on the body, so no matter whether we like or admit it, there are consequences.
I’m wondering why we don’t have this much needed conversation about how we are disregarding of ourselves. I notice how I can go into disregard to get a project done, to function, to pay the bills etc. But I also know that this is all so false. Me in disregard means the quality I do things in actually harms not just myself but the whole project. And I actually function less. This is a much needed conversation to blow away the myths around getting the job done no matter what.
We have crippled the NHS through sheer irresponsibility and recklessness towards our bodies.
True – the culture of blame and pointing at anyone or anything outside of ourselves runs deep in our society.
‘One of the issues healthcare professionals face is the tiny amount of time they have with each patient.’ This is true, but it only takes a moment to connect. What gets in the way is our thoughts.
Self-disregard seems to be at the root of the rise of many chronic and extremely expensive diseases but I am not aware of any effort that is commensurate with the scale of the problem to deal with this issue.
Generally, when we enter this world, from the word go, we are encouraged to disregard the wisdom of our body. The food we eat, the education system we are schooled in, what we are consider to be ‘success’ in life – are all geared to take us away from knowing who we truly are, and the true joy of living responsibly. It is up to us to turn this around and to not repeat what we know is not true.
For us to hear suggestions about our self disregard, they have to be delivered without judgement and from someone who is already walking what they are talking. Thus it is up to those that are aware of the power of self-care to live it to the full and then the ripples will ripple.
Absolutely. Because actually for many people self-disregard has become so very normal that unless we start talking about and pointing it out, then nothing is going to alter the status quo. Talking about it really supports me to also see those areas of my own life where I am being self dis-regarding; we are all equal students of life and so can all learn together. In the past, I would have written this kind of conversation off as being a bit fluffy or irrelevant – my resistance to wanting to see and feel more keeping me in the function of what I was doing; but more and more I am allowing myself to be open to every detail. This blog is very powerful.
This discussion brings to light just how powerful we are in regards to all of our daily choices.
Our choices (in harmony or out of harmony with our true nature) confirm other people in their choices…
and this can lead to us breaking the medical system…
OR
it can lend to us realizing that we can take up our responsibility to change how we are living so we stop hurting ourselves and the world.
I like to think I am a caring man who looks after himself. In many ways I am, especially if you compare me to the ‘average guy’. But today I realised in no uncertain way that every little thing I do to ignore what I feel is true, adds up in the end. And pretty soon this comes at a big cost to my body. So when we examine and scrutinise increasing illness rates, we need to see that every single choice we make that’s not Love adds up, to become an abusive and devastating tidal wave. The beautiful news is, love also works in this accumulative and gradual way. So when we choose to self care it unleashes and builds on the power of what is already there.
I like that Jane, that part of the ‘Duty of Care’ can lay with the patient. Understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease, or true well-being we too can be open to receiving observations from others, like health care professionals, but also by and of ourselves – as our ongoing self-care practice.
I find it incredible that nurses work 12 hour shifts, and their job isn’t an easy one – they have to learn about their patients in a very short space of time – and information passed on is not always accurate so they have to double check everything.
With that amount of pressure, it becomes the blind leading the blind. No wonder we are walking toward a precipice.
Unless we live without self disregard we cannot tell someone else what to do. So as they say the buck stops with us all.
I agree Roslyn this is why it is so important that we honour and respect ourselves and do not allow disregard to be a part of our livingness, of course with no perfection. Then and only then can we reflect a true way that may inspire others.
Self-disregard is not the gentle wave that washes over your feet but the tsunami that takes you away completely.
“… In the end it is us who turn the tide of change, and we have to start somewhere – where better to start than with self-disregard? …”Yes, this is a great starting point… all it takes is for the first domino to fall, then the landscape of health can change.
Our body commands deeper and deeper levels of regard for ourselves and others. We either fight or surrender to this.
Yes we can turn the tide of this modern day plague but it needs as many of us as possible to get behind the wheel.
When we don’t take care of ourselves it affects other people so they don’t take care either. We can be role models for our patients by the way we live.
This is very true Elizabeth. It is an act whereby we insist on playing ‘master creator’ instead of handing the reigns over to a far greater Will.
The key in life is to care and nurture ourselves to such a degree that it becomes second nature. This will then stand us in good stead to ‘get ourselves out of the way’ in the sense that life becomes more about helping and supporting others arise to the same love and care we devote to ourselves. Therefore it can be stated that self-disregard in all its forms including caring for others at the expense of ourselves, is only ever an act of self, as ironic though it may seem.
Can we turn the tide of this modern day plague? Actually, we don´t have a real choice, eventually we will be ‘forced’ by exactly the energy we have used to be in disregard. Only choice is either to wait for the correction coming to us or living the correction by synching our lifestyle with the bodies natural style.
Great topic. You can feel the love and support of our health care professionals when they approach illness and disease in this way – looking at the bigger picture of how someone is living and not just focused on a symptom.
Given the current state of the health care system and the planet it is constantly reflecting back to us all that something about how we are living is simply not true. We all know this and seek solutions but avoid any true answer that asks any true responsibility of us.
There are so many disregarding activities which carry the stigma of being ‘good’. This shows how much we endorse not taking care of ourselves. So why would we choose to not take care of ourselves over taking care of ourselves? When we take care of ourselves, we become more sensitive and aware of everything we feel throughout our day, and not just the ‘bits’ we are comfortable feeling.
‘if we observe self-disregard in a patient, as a practitioner, who does that information belong to?’ – It is important to discern when and how to address whenever we recognise disharmony or self-disregard in another. What matters the most is the quality in which we express what is there to be said.
“Self-disregard-can we turn the tide of this modern day plague? I would also ask can we afford not given its affect on everything that we do?
‘She leaves it with them to consider, no force, just sharing what she observes.’ it’s so important to just share an observation.. no judgement, imposition, rules, should and shouldn’ts, allowing the space for someone to come to their own awareness and understanding then making changes from this.
‘Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners…’ Appreciation feels key here when we realise the opportunities that we can offer each other in the reflections that we offer.
I know many people who have turned around the tide of self-disregard and so I have no doubt that the answer is yes. And it is quite simple too, when we realise and accept responsibility for our own wellbeing, choosing a loving relationship with ourselves in the process. Society does not as yet generally encourage nor teach this, but it does work and I have seen it in action over the past few years – thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. They are the real deal.
Yes, the tide of disregard has turned for me, but because I was offered space and understanding as to why I made/make those choices – not because I was/am judged but because I was/am being reflected love and what it means to live a life of self-worth and self-love, whilst also being confirmed for who I am. I am constantly letting go choices of disregard to find myself either making new ones or redefining my understanding of what it means to be regarding. This is a constant refinement and sometimes I find myself pulling in old patterns as hurts come up to be cleared or as I am being asked to be more, which I can be resistant to. I have found it really important however to bring my own understanding as to why I make these choices so that I can be more observant and less self-critical.
If we the people can’t see that the way that we are living is bringing about all our ills, maybe it is time they brought in, what someone suggested on the news last night that people that are over weight to the point of obesity and people that smoke will have to lose weight and stop smoking in order to be treated.This may seem harsh but we just can’t go on the way things are going as we are heading for a planet of so much suffering when most of it could be prevented.
That’s a very valid point kevmhardy, most of it can be prevented by our own course of action – we need a re-education around the word responsibility and an honest look at why our behaviours are as they are.
This is a controversial and indeed interesting discussion Kevin.
What is learnt when help is given to those who choose to not help themselves?
There is the obvious self-disregard everyone will recognize as such and then there are the many accepted and or unrecognized ways of self-disregard like tattooing, partying, (over-)achieving, competition, most food choices, the types of conversation and way of talking with each other etc
Are we aware of the disregard we participate in, do we want to address and make each other aware of it, are we open to receive a reflection? It requires a certain amount of self-love and care to go there.
It is like the layers of an onion; we peel off one layer of dis-regard, to reveal another. This is the process and it will take time for us to really see and accept the level of dis-regard we are living; if we commit to staying open, to seeing more and don’t go into judgement for what we discover then we will peel all the layers off and discover the treasure of sacredness, sensitivity and deep self-care that lies within us all.
With articles like this, we can no longer say that we haven’t been warned…is cancer really ‘bad luck’?
The title of this blog alone is a huge marker in the history of humanity’s health. A plague is a disease and that is exactly what self-disregard is. We focus myopically on the biology, genetics and mainstream sciences of medicine and, with those blinkers on, are failing to see the root causes to so many of the illnesses and diseases that are crippling society. But that is changing and if we can start to bring things like self care into the mainstream of health and see it a the true, factual science that it is, then we may start to turn the tide of our catastrophic health. It’s brilliant what you bring here Jane. Amazing.
Something that came to me while reading this blog is how when we are disregarding our body and this results in having a negative impact on our health, eventually leading to illness and disease, our actions are not only affecting us personally but are creating a huge drain of energy, money, and time on the whole scheme of health services that are required to support us when we do get sick or have other health issues. And this is now reaching epidemic proportions as the current health system is already reaching its limit on how much it can cover the vast levels and rates of illness and disease with all its permutations which then affect our health insurance costs as well. When will we be willing to recognise just how serious this is?
Plague is the perfect word for this state of dis-ease we are currently in – because it is at plague proportions. It may sound dramatic because it’s not a physical illness per se, however it is most certainly the biggest plague we have ever had in society – I doubt there is one person who does not have some form of dis-regard in their lives… and that’s trillions of people!
Being honest, and taking responsibility for our unloving choices, is the first step in turning the tide of the illness and disease spiral we are on.
It’s an interesting example with the dental hygienist as it equally applies to anyone that is providing a service. There are always opportunities to observe when another is in disregard… do we bring that to their attention (with no judgement) and offer them an opportunity, or do we let the opportunity pass us by?
This is a conversation that is avoided on a daily basis. Why? because it asks us to be more responsible and deal with the hurts that may be driving the behaviours of disregard. But, at some point, the disregard accumulates to such a degree that we get sick and ill and our hurts can pale in relation. I know I still put protection of my hurts above deeply nurturing myself and if I am wise, I need to build my self-love so I move in a way that doesn’t lead me to self-disregard and abuse. And this can start with the smallest of things.
Our society, and our body is always a constant reflection to us about the level of responsibility and regard that we want to bring in and actually work with. As Jane has so beautifully shared, there is a huge increase in illness and disease from heart disease to mental disease to dental decay etc etc and much of this is a result of simple lifestyle choices that could be avoided by looking at how we actually live and then making the needed changes to support ourselves more. This shows that we are indeed digging ourselves into a very deep hole, and it is time to realise this and begin to be more honest about what we are doing to ourselves.
The greater the disregard, the greater the repercussions are for us, and so it is that we can accumulate disregard over time and then it has to at some point find its way out of the body and this can happen in the form of an illness or disease. Hence illness and disease has its purpose to support us and help us with a form of detox, and in this way we can perhaps learn to not allow that same to occur again in respect to the choices we make in life.
I totally agree this is a conversation that we all need to have, to be honest about the level of dis-regard that we are living in no matter how small or big they both represent disregard.
Those list of small things that aren’t in full regard of our body and essence often easily slip through, and are accepted as OK, yet it is those small things that allow that level of disregard to be normal. It’s great to call these ‘small’ things out for the eroding behaviours they are.
Screens, i.e. phone screens, computer screens, TV screens seem to have strongly increased the time we are checked out during the day with phone screens constantly giving us the opportunity to check out for short periods at any moment. I wonder how much of an effect that has on us.
I was just recently doing some simple research. The average teenager in America is in front of a screen for 8 hours a day, which is 50% of their waking time. Very hard to imagine that this amount of disconnect isn’t having a profound effect on their health and development.
If we look at modern society, we have totally lost touch with what it means to care for ourselves beyond the functional care that allows us to get on with life, and even that can at times be a struggle. But true self care and self regard is so much more than just pure function – it carries a quality that has an impact on every moment that comes after that loving choice
Yes, if we moved to appreciating ourselves from our essence and not based on function alone we would have a society based on a foundation of all round well-being and our NHS would not be so overwhelmed.
“One of the issues healthcare professionals face is the tiny amount of time they have with each patient. ” what strikes me is that if we as a society took better care of ourselves and the way we lived, if we listened to what our bodies told us to take care of ourselves then perhaps the medical professional would have more time to care for those that are sick.
In our local hospital nurses on the Medical Ward have ten patients each – there is little time for anything and patients are left without attention if they are considered low risk. It can be a stressful job if they are not careful.
Well said Carmel – you are exposing here how big the workload is for health care workers…
Having worked at a large local hospital in the area, I also know that we were totally overworked on Friday nights and Saturday nights and this was mainly due to the accidents and incidents commonly involving the consumption of alcohol and drugs. Why is it that another person can freely abuse themselves with drugs and alcohol and then it is the healthcare workers on their shifts that get overworked and stressed out offering them first aid, saving their lives? There must be something awry with this model? What will it get to in our society before people will begin to notice their wayward choices – does this mean we should instigate fines for those who use alcohol and end up in hospital similarly for those who end up causing an accident? I don’t think this would work, and I don’t know how bad things will have to get before people will pay attention…but whilst this is all happening everyone has a much more challenging time handling the current work conditions.
Being in long-term pain and discomfort due to illness can become quite disheartening but speaking from experience I can confirm that every little thing we do to help our bodies back to health, no matter how minor it is, can make a huge difference to our sense of well being. And maybe the benefits will not show up immediately, but over time and with consistency, the benefits will start to be apparent.
Yes, it is the little things that have big effects and let us reap the consequences or rewards when it comes to the big things.
Self-disregard is a slippery slope…. once the journey has started there can be no course but to get to the bottom of the slide. The choice then, is to either get onto another slide and deepen the slippery slope, or call a halt to it and climb up the ladder instead.
It feels like we are shying away from a mirror that is always there, not just within health and social care services but in society. Whilst there is so much clear evidence of self-disregard in the health and wellbeing in people we choose not to bring this into open conversation for fear that dropping the ‘social etiquette’ and ‘politeness’ around this will mean that other could also bring up with us that which they observe and feel we are doing which also may need looking at. Such a great start therefore for this to come from those working in health and social care as there is a basis of care here, with little judgment and an understanding which can be felt by those using services. A change which could begin to lead the way in a change in our communities.
My feeling is that we are all being a little bit too ‘nice’ to each other, treading softly and carefully round each other for fear of upsetting the apple cart. The problem is that the apple cart currently has a lot of rot in it and we need to be able to highlight that and get to work on it.
When I first noticed my self disregard, it came as quite a shock, how much I had pushed myself in some areas, and those mental thoughts of beating myself up were very strong. I can still go back to that pattern so it is a great one to catch and know how it is a downhill spiral when that happens. We are all worthy of tender love and deep care and there is no-one who knows us better than ourselves.
Where does the root of the problem start? What part does comfort play in our dis-regard, that ultimately plants the seed of dis-ease in our bodies?
Some of us just can’t be told that we are quite literally driving in the fast lane to an early grave. I remember when I used to drink everyday at my local pub. It was the same faces there every day and over time you started going to more and more funerals from people dying prematurely from bad lifestyle choices.
There is a simplicity and urgency to this article that is very inspiring. A call and invitation for us all to look at how we are choosing to live now and what the impact of this looks like in the future.
Self-disregard is a modern plague that not many people are aware of. So, thank you Jane for sharing this with us because it is affecting our health, our life, our society and our planet. We certainly cannot keep going down this same path of self-disregard because it doesn’t just affect us as individuals but it affects everyone as well on a much large scale than we think.
“What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all – whereby we started to look at and understand not only how much self-disregard we are currently living in, but also the impact this way of living is having on our health, on our healthcare services and on our world?” – When we think of what dis-regard actually is on the smallest or basic level like leaving a wet towel on the bed, or not putting away your clothes.. to the biggest levels then we can see and feel the gross enormity of dis-regard we’re all living in as a race.. and that that it is the biggest health issue we and our healthcare systems have. Dis-regard leads to unhealthiness in the body, being, economy and world.
It is crucial for us to turn this tide or else we will get much much worse than it is already and we consider the health system to be a crisis point already. Self Responsibility for all that we do and say is a fantastic starting point for all, then we can’t point fingers to blame as what we live in is created from our choices. Physics at its best.
To take responsibility for our own self care exposes the level to which we dismiss and override the ever truthful communication of the body.
In addressing self-disregard in those we treat, support and care for we have a responsibility to first bring to them a body which reflects a state of living in self-regard – then the message is communicated with words, they simply confirm it.
Disregard and its impacts, seems like a very simple place to start to address the health epidemic that our humanity has found itself in. We need to actually take this seriously and realise that the only way out of the mess, is to at least admit there is a mess in the first place. Second way out, is admitting the mess did not come out of thin air, it is a build up by removing ourselves further and further from our responsibilities. As we humble ourselves to the reality that we need more self care, it is actually liberating, as we are our own saviours!
Our own self-regard in our daily physical care and thoughts can be an amazing prevention of illness and disease. More it more it seems that the underlying reason for some is the way we neglect or even are harsh with ourselves.
I can truly say taking care of myself in simple ways has turned my health around totally, a small adjustment and responsibility on my part. Without this I would have continued to presented myself to Medical and Complementary Practitioners as a ‘helpless case’, being a victim in the sense to un-diagnosable un-wellness and sorry for myself that that was just my lot. When all my body was requiring was self-regard and all the yummy things that come with this.
And the frustrating thing is that it feels so damn simple….yet we don’t want it to be, so we find excuses for why we do or don’t do the things we do.
When we hear the threats that our National Health Service is heading for bankruptcy do we take it seriously or do we discount it as just another headline set up to grab our attention. I have been realising that the bankruptcy of the NHS is no idle threat, but a reality that is fast approaching as we continue to live our lives in a way that totally disregards the well being of the whole – the whole body and the whole of our planet.
It is a great question that ‘if we observe self disregard, where does a duty of care begin and end?’ I know at times I have identified so much with my role as a ‘helper’ that I have not supported others to be as responsible as they could be, instead I was busy ‘fixing’ their issues. Each time on hindsight when things got really out of hand I realised the disservice in my choice.
Our health is ultimately in our own hands and our responsibility, not of the health care professionals as many people tend to think when they get ill. I feel this vital part is very important to share more in the world as health care professionals, but not just by telling people to stop smoking but also the more accepted forms of disregard, like not wearing enough clothes because much clothes does not look fashionable…
Investing into the truth of who people are, i.e. seeing each other for their true genuine qualities and beingness seems to be one of the best medicines for a lot of ailments such as disregard. Such a shift in attitude will be a cultural revolution.
Wise words Alex. When we are choosing to see our genuine qualities and beingness there is less and less room for disregard.
It would seem that we are reaching, or have reached the stage where we are forced to behave in a more responsible way – because our services are so overloaded they cannot cope. It seems odd to think that we need to be forced to care for ourselves better, when doing so has many very positive consequences. Maybe we would be wise to just choose it anyway, because of an innate call to be more loving with ourselves.
The answer is Yes, we can turn this tide by each and every one of us playing our part in choosing God over all else.
Self-disregard, and ultimately, lack of self-worth really are a modern day plague of huge proportions, and yet so many are so caught up in it that we cannot even see it.
So step by step we dismantle these habitual patterns of self disregard and turn the tide on this modern plague.
True and proper presentation of what ‘healthy life style choices’ are needs to be in every healthcare center and home for us to begin to make any significant move away from these increasing figures. it’s easy for this phrase to be bandied about, but until there is understanding of what these choices are and the wider implications of responsibility, we will be watching the current situation deteriorate.
The word ‘plague’ is absolutely fitting in this case. Self-disregard and exhaustion are more widespread than many ‘plagues’ throughout history, but have the potential to last far longer than any before if we keep going as we are, settling for a very wayward standard of ‘healthy’.
Yes, I agree Jane – bringing awareness to the details of self-disregard is a great conversation to have as we are often unable (or unwilling) to see self-disregard as abnormal or harmful, as they are habitual and repetitive habits we accept as normal in our existence of stress-filled living.
There is no doubt that heath care professionals work super hard. This work ethic needs to be applauded and appreciated. The best way we can appreciate this is to look after our own health. Anything else is dishonoring to them and all the hard work that they do.
Imagine the money we could save if we all started looking after ourselves, money that could be spent on education, housing and other well needed under funded necessities.
Our human bodies will always inform, remind, alarm us in all ways possible if we are disregarding ourselves. We do not have to worry that this will not happen. But we may disregard what we are told – whether it be our bodies or others, and therefore, sometimes we require the messages of both.
Is comfort, a significant contributing factor in our self-disregard? The normal body size of people in many Asian countries with the changes to western diets is expanding more than their economies. What is our part in the worldwide disregard for one’s self?
“Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives” – this is living Jane, living as far and as much as we can in love, to love another.
Self-disregard has a purpose and that is why it is popular. Make the purpose unnecessary and self-disregard will be seen for what it is: Silly and harmful.
“Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives.”
So lets talk openly about how we as a society in general can appreciate what life has brought to us and look at possible solutions? When we are always looking for something else we tend to over-eat, smoke, drink excessively, take drugs and many other forms of disregard so we are numbed from feeling our essence and how we can start to return by being at-least gentle as this is how I started my return. The Gentle Breath Meditation was the first sign that shared with my body how much dis-regard I was in.
For more on the GENTLE BREATH MEDITATION go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=Free+Gentle+Breath+Meditation
I was reading an article just this morning about the global cost of obesity-related illness, which is predicted to hit $1.2tn a year from 2025! This is just too huge to think about, but we need to collectively accept what our choices are leading to and as individuals, start to grow up and realise just how much of an impact our personal choices and disregard have on each other.
Yes, we need to know why people get obese and then to offer better ways to live.
It is immensely shocking Michelle I agree, particularly in view of the fact that (and personal experience has proven this) the majority of cases are directly due to disregard. Turning this around is not rocket science, we just need a dose of a healthy respect on a daily basis and much can be simply and inexpensively addressed.
To make the much needed savings within the NHS but more crucially to stem the ballooning rates and occurrence of illness and disease we each cannot avoid taking responsible lifestyle choices, knowing that one’s own disregard significantly adds to those humungus figures.
When we look at our lifestyle choices and see them in terms of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ it is easy to be self-critical and judgmental and simply give up – resigning ourselves to self-loathing or lack of self-worth, which then reinforces the unloving behaviour in a never-ending loop. However, when we start to introduce a little more self-acceptance and self-love it is surprising how that then lessens the desire to self-abuse – whether it be eating too much, drinking alcohol or even caffeine. Just by introducing a little appreciation we can change much.
This is a beautiful explanation of the self abuse/self-loathing cycle Michele and how self-acceptance and self-loving choices can gradually swing the cycle the other way.
So true Michelle… the time for each of us to take responsibility is now – there is no way any government can sustain this financially.
Indeed. Well worth asking the question what am I feeling and why don’t I want to feel it? In the awareness of why we want to numb we can begin the process of healing, first by being honest and then by dealing with the hurt that is causing the overwhelm and the seeming incapacity to handle life.
Yes – absolutely. I remember when I was a teenager coming home from school and medicating myself on packets of chocolate digestive biscuits, whilst doing my seemingly endless homework. I wasn’t really consciously aware of what I was doing but there was definitely a suppression of what I didn’t want to feel here for sure. This habit continued into my adulthood of using food in this way and it felt normal. And yes like you Susan it wasn’t until I realised how much I was addicted to sugar that I realised there was an issue here.
When there is no judgment, no moral lifting the finger and or telling what to do it is much easier to talk about one´s self-disregard as an open exploration, it may even be welcomed as underneath the pretend or denial we all know precisely what we are doing and it is very relieving when there is an open space to be honest about it without any pressure to change.
The science is very clear that how we live affects every area of our life.
Thank you Jane for bringing up the importance of discussing self-disregard with each other.
I know that when I am pushing myself too hard and not taking loving care of my body my gums bleed… this has been the pattern since age 4 so our body can tell us a lot about how well we are caring for it.
Jane raises the answer to the question ‘who does the information belong to when we see/observe a pattern in someone which if shared could support them to understand themselves better and discover more guidance from their own bodies on how to get well or stay well.’
I feel the answer is that it (the awareness) belongs to all of us and so we have a responsibility to speak up when we see or feel self-disregard that is affecting a persons body; lovingly, with no judgement and no attachment to how it is received.
When we disregard ourselves, we disregard everybody else, including God.
Discussions like this are the turning point in our health. Being willing to call ourselves to account and to begin to regard our bodies as the prescious organisms they are opens our hearts and minds to see, feel and understand that some choices we make in how we are living may not be the true support our body needs.
We may talk about self regard and self care but get an obstinate response from others that they are fine – we abuse our bodies shockingly with our lack of care. It is great to have someone like Jane who is constantly exposing the way workers in the Health Care industries are living – we talk about working conditions, but not much about how we are choosing to live
Weedlng out the disregarding behaviours and habits is hugely important if we are to be healthy down to the very core of our bones.
It’s actually confronting as a health professional to observe somebody else’s disregard, plus other things as well, for it’s a constant reflection in our own lives. Sometimes you consistently see what it is in your own life that you are not waiting to address or change. It’s like a constant ouch.
I share with people some of the changes I have made in my choices throughout life that have transformed it so much. Now this blog has inspired me to have conversations on disregard. Thank you Jane.
We all know that the way we choose to live affects the quality of our health. One of our greatest problems is that we have lost the marker of true health as a consequence. Enter someone who has restored this for themselves and we are represented with a true norm to re-orient our health care around. If this were the case for all those who work in the health care profession, it would set a whole new standard of healthcare that we are in desperate need of, true role models who walk their talk and therefore share their professional advice from an embodied experience. It makes the world of difference.
The title of this blog refers equally to each one of us as it does to the macrocosm. Even with awareness, and within our own bodies, how willing are we to truly release the tidal wave of self-disregard and choose love instead?
Great call to us all to look at the many ways that we are dis-regarding to ourselves and make changes. In doing so we begin to feel why we have been able to make such choices in dis-regard for so long and it can raise issues of self-worth and how we value ourselves, but in changing these choices we develop more and more self-worth and self-regard.
When I was in hospital last year there was literally one doctor on, on the weekend for the entire part of the hospital I was in. Hundreds of patients to tend to but unless it was a total emergency you couldn’t be seen. I could see by my short stay that they were well under staffed, overstretched and half the patients probably wouldn’t have been there if they could sort out their diets, stress levels and stop smoking.
‘Are we open to receiving those observations and to discussing self-disregard, with a view to understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?’ It’s important that we begin to have these conversations and opening up other choices to make, so that we can begin to become more responsible for our own care.
Self abusive patterns can be very deeply ingrained, still to get more awareness concerning those patterns and why we choose them sometimes ongoingly is very healing and only raising one’s awareness can bring a huge change and shift.
Why do we need something significant to cause us to pay attention to our body? But, in many cases, we still refuse to accept our part in the outcome! Our self-disregard is now also affecting the planet we live on, what has the convenience of plastic done to our oceans!
You are spot on in calling this a modern-day plague Jane, and it is a deeply entrenched way of being for most of us. Turning it around has to start with the big things, and eventually becomes about the finer details.
Really WHY are we so self-abusive or disregarding as you call it. The reality is that most know they are eating and drinking harmful substances but choose to do it anyway. Maybe there is an underlying issue and tension we are not being honest about?
Fabulous read Jane…and could very much relate to what you share here: “Often appointments are booked on a continuous conveyor belt of one in, one out, with little time to discuss anything beyond the presenting issue” — and what I’ve also noted too as well as the pacey-ness … is that the issue I might have myself, I can also see they’re present in the physician too, meaning that as individual people we are not alone in so many health matters/concerns… that doctors, healthcare/specialist professionals aren’t clear of ailments or mental issues and that as equal human beings we reflect to each other how we all are as a race that goes beyond and is irrespective of the convenient cover of position, profession or job title.
Turing the tide of this modern-day plague begins with a few… then the swell builds, until the wave breaks. Small beginnings make great endings.
There are many ways we can disregard ourselves. One of them is believing that comforting ourselves with food is a good thing. It’s a commonly held belief that food can make us feel better – and perhaps it can for a little while. But ultimately we always have to bear the consequences of ingesting something that the body doesn’t need. It is in fact disregard to comfort ourselves with food when we don’t need it. This is a fact that most of us do not want to hear.
I was recently advised by a doctor to make diet and lifestyle choice changes, he was clearly sure that these factors have an effect on the quality of health of his patients, however within the same breath (and sentence) came the offer of medication and … no further elaboration on what diet and lifestyle changes were to be explored. Either there was not the time within the allocated minutes to offer such possibilities, or he was not sure how to advise… or possible it is not considered or permitted within his remit to offer such advice. Whatever the reason though it would seem patients are being left ‘short changed’ and not supported to bring more regarding choices into their lives by their local GP – who are often the first port of call when health is lost or disease is detected.
We have a responsibility to nurture our bodies and the responsibility stops with us – not the doctor who fixes us. We have a culture where things can get fixed, where we want to live longer but we are not wanting to look at the quality of life. Our opportunity lies in the fact that how we move, eat, engage with people, the care we take all adds up to true health.
Thank you Jane for opening up this discussion on Self-Disregard. Not many people would consider the relationship between the mouth and not deeply caring for ourselves or the fact that there needs to be more awareness on our part on the way the body communicates with us and its call for self care, self nurturing and self regard. Taking more responsibility and increasing our awareness is the key.
I agree, self-regard is a great place to start when we accept greater responsibility.
It is interesting to consider why we have created so much illness and disease from living with disregard in our lives, but also to look at the health care system we have set up, that in general does not nominate any root cause because when there is little time per patient, is there any relationship between the two? Can we say that we have set up a health care system to only fix us but that is not allowed to ask the questions that needs to be asked because we like to continue to live in the disregard we are in?
As a health care professional I just love this blog and especially what is being said about duty of care. Duty of care extends way beyond the minimum of basic decency and respect, it is about really caring for people by being honest with them and sharing our concerns.
My feeling is we need to be honest that we are in disregard in the first place. I know when I started to introduce a way of being with myself that was caring and loving, I actually started to see the extent of how much disregard I was living in. Then I could see how much I really did need to nurture, care for and love myself.
‘Self-disregard’ is a key word to describe the ill ways and human behaviour patterns of dismissing the fact that our body carries an enormous bundle of renewable energy… source of love. ‘Self-love’ would have to be the antidote for ‘self-disregard’. Perhaps workshops and teachings on ‘self-love’ would support the health care system of the future.
One only needs to look at the number of children that require their baby teeth removed because of decay from the high sugar content in what they eat and drink. Self-disregard is stating as a new normal, at ever increasing younger ages. When these children reach adulthood will there be an NHS?
Yes Steve, I am hearing about quite a few youngsters that need to have quite extensive dental work including extractions because of the high sugar content in their food and drink. If this continues what will their health be like in adulthood? And a good question about the NHS. There are talks that we may be heading for a similar system to the USA.
We place such a huge expectation on our doctors to solve our health problems, and often in a 5 minute interview, when the truth is we are responsible for their manifestation in the first place.
The only way we can turn the tide on this modern day plague is if we start taking responsibility for our own health and stop looking outside ourselves to the drug companies and the health systems. Sure at times we are going to need a doctor, but if we took so much more care of ourselves looking to prevention instead of patch up this would free up the budget and the overworked health workers.
To refer to modern illness and disease as ‘a modern plague ‘ is inspired Jane. Thank you for using language that makes us sit up. Illness and disease statistics have reached epidemic proportions and yet because they are not considered ‘infectious’ and despite leading to the deaths of millions of people world-wide, they are accepted as a norm, with very little being done about them.. More people world-wide die from these modern day plagues than wars, terrorist attacks and famine and yet largely we look the other way, rather than consider what is happening as a planetary emergency.
The problem I see from extreme to more subtle degrees is that we feel it is our right to mistreat our body and assume that someone will fix it for us. As a society I feel we get quite indignant when medicine and technology has not found a cure for the effects of our disregard. It doesn’t seem to matter that we hear that most of our conditions are preventable, as we want to keep doing what we do or feel unable to stop doing it – which can be the case when there has been a momentum for a long time. However the first step needs to be taken, where we feel ownership and care again of our bodies and health.
Why do we not see disregard as our main topic of conversation? One just has to observe the daily intake of foods and behaviours that are presenting the life force of our young and old. Ignoring on a grand scale leads to even deeper entrenched behaviours of disregard that are part of our modern – day skyline.
Supporting a friend in hospital recently I have experienced at first hand the difference between nurses in Intensive Care and on the general ward. At the time in the ICU where my friend was, nurses had just two patients they cared for intensely but were able to build up a relationship with and the atmosphere was quiet and supportive. In the general ward where my friend was on his first visit a few months earlier, nurses had up to ten patients and there was an atmosphere of abandonment – patients didn’t get the attention they felt they needed, there was certainly no time for a chat, and the care was efficient but minimal. Add to the mix that several nurses were off sick and their colleagues were working additional shifts to cover. It was not a truly supportive environment for staff who were in a caring role.
Appreciation is the key that unlocks so much within us and really inspires and impulses us to be more self regarding in our choices in life, which ripples out to others and in what we do. This is then a great reflection for others to feel their own potentials through us.
We ought to start appreciating that all of our choices and actions are universal. It’s so true that they “affect the quality of our health, our hair, skin, teeth, eyes, posture, all aspects of our anatomy and physiology, and our general sense of wellbeing”, and not just this but also the flow of our day, work life, projects, relationships and the lives of others too.
We can (as a society) complain about NHS funding and management till the cows come home, however it will always be our responsibility to make choices that don’t strain the NHS through recklessness.
The value of our human body is so underestimated, we think we can get away with anything and just get a fix when we need it, but who is actually the one that is responsible for our health and well-being?
It is silly we have self-disregard issues when we are all innately amazingly awesome beings. And whilst this may be just words or semantics to many it is a fact and a fact we can doubt only because self disregard has made not living our awesomeness a reality.
Jane a great article, really gets us to stop and ponder on how are we living, how much love and care are we bringing into our lives. How many areas of disregard do we have in our lives. We are a walking reflection to others and if we don’t stop and look at our own self love and care, then what level of regard or disregard are we reflecting.
Around 2013 in the UK police introduced motorist awareness courses for offenders of some of the offences. There is also a ‘work for the dole’ scheme where in order to receive government financial support by someone who is out of work, they need to satisfy various conditions required to prove you they are actively looking for work and contributing to society.
Not withstanding that all systems could have areas that need tweaking, I fully endorse such schemes that encourage awareness and ask for responsibility and accountability. Perhaps we could consider this for the health system?
We are brought up to think that martyrdom is a Good Thing, that sacrificing ourselves for others, especially our kids means that we are Good People. But what is the use, how can we truly serve humanity when we are burnt out?
The way we live, supports each other to maintain a level of disregard that we don’t want to see. We rush and stress about life and then use TV, the internet, food and alcohol to dull that stress and rush. The intensity of life is high and we go into huge amounts of disregard to try and cope, without seeing that this in itself impacts us more deeply than the original reaction to life. What if we took small steps to tackle our own self-disregard? Surely this would have a huge impact on the overloaded systems that we use to support us?
Self dis-regard was my living way for many, many years. I have gradually replaced self dis-regard with self love and my life has changed beyond recognition.
Yep Jane, it is for each of us to keep ‘unearthing the layers of dis-regard’. Replenishing the soil by fertilising it with self-care, until such time as the first tiny buds of self-love appear.
Health care professionals and services have become so used to dealing with illness and the cases they treat are becoming more extreme and complex that it has become a struggle to keep up. Self-regard is a basic way of people taking back responsibility for their own health and wellbeing.
Thank you for raising these important questions Jane. I agree that we all need to start taking better care of ourselves.
We are starting to realise that our lifestyle choices and perhaps environment have a direct bearing on our health, but we also need to look deeper to the energetic reasons behind disease to really get to the bottom of what is going on.
Maybe we could also look at the energetic reasons behind why we make harmful life style choices in the first place which in itself is a disease!
The only way we will turn this tide is by every person taking responsibility for his or her health and wellbeing. The more people who do, the more others are inspired to follow suit. There will come a point when the situations we face will force policy change. Imagine what would happen if you were refused medical treatment on the grounds of your lifestyle choices – it would certainly make people take sit up and take notice!
It is only through each one of us taking full responsibility for our lifestyle choices that true and lasting change will come to our healthcare system, and be revealed in the decrease in illness and disease.
Absolutely Jane… self-regard brings such positive change to our lives – lifestyle choices that bring so much harmony and joy for ourselves and our bodies… to be shared with all others.
You raise an important point her Jane, and one that can be extended across many industries in many ways. When we see something that is not working, we often hold back for many reasons, some of which can include, not my place, I’m not their supervisor, I don’t have the time, etc… I agree and I think we need to open up this for conversation and learn to have them but in a way that is supportive for both parties.
A way to turn the tide on the plague of self disregard would be to turn it around for ourselves. Demonstrating what is possible by living in a loving way ourselves is a very real way of providing an example of how it can be. Preaching has never worked. Living by example is inspiring for others.
When the level of disregard around us and in our lives, can be so apparent, why do we not start making changes in light of the ever increasing amount of illness and disease.
A truly important topic Jane as you know working in the area of health. It is sad to think we are often not aware or care to acknowledge our disregard until something serious arises to do with our health!
What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all – whereby we started to look at and understand not only how much self-disregard we are currently living in, but also the impact this way of living is having on our health, on our healthcare services and on our world? A great place to start is if we all at least were honest enough to speak about the choices we are making on a daily basis and link that to our ailments, at least that way it would allow an opening to perhaps more awareness, or at least maybe more questions asked.
I see in myself how over time I can allow a little thing to slip each day where I compromise my self care. If I let this go unchecked, I end up getting exhausted and ill.
This is such an interesting question Jane. We have moved so far away from self-responsibility and self-care, that even blatant self-disregard is not seen to be something that can be raised with many of us. There is also the question that if a health professional were to raise this with their patients, they need to be open to exposing the self-disregard they also choose. It feels as though we have a tacit no-comment agreement in place where ‘I won’t expose you if you don’t expose me’ is the norm, leaving us comfortably unwell in our stagnant pool of self-disregard.
Disregard means that we are overlooking whatever needs to be acknowledged and dealt with. We overlook our own needs as this is how a lot of us had been brought up . . . we were to take care of everyone first and foremost and any time spent on yourself was considered selfish. Then there is the disregard to the body that is out and out abusive. It is like we think we can do whatever we like to our body and are often shocked by the consequences. The young often think they are going to live forever and the old can often adopt the attitude that they can simply give up and give in to all their indulgences because they are old now . It is for each and everyone of us to turn this around and this will turn the tide on disregard and take the enormous impact and pressure it has off our medical systems.
A conversation about self-disregard needs to also be built on a foundation of absolute understanding, awareness and appreciation. The world is very specifically constructed to coerce us into making very unloving choices; food manufacturers, entertainment providers, holiday sellers, fashion merchandising, sport promoters…all rely entirely on us having as little self-regard as possible. So, we need to really see this and be aware of it so that we can move forward supportively rather than in blind reaction. It’s a tough tide to turn, but with love, commitment, a true intention and a great deal of appreciation we can and will do it.
I agree and it is perpetuated by the immense pressure that they are put under. Far faster to prescribe a medicine and get them out of the room, rather than have a more involved and supportive conversation about life-style choices. The problem is, that the pressure that they are under is due to the fact that we are not addressing the core issues – so it’s a vicious circle and if we don’t break it very soon….
I wonder if there could be a points system whereby for each disregarding choice we make, we then have to pay more of our medical care? So, for example, if you smoke then you have to pay 10%, if you drink alcohol you have to pay 10%, if you drink coffee you have to pay 10% etc…. That might sharpen everyone’s responsibility to look after themselves – rather than land the whole burden on the state?
A very important sharing on self disregard and the growing extremes it is getting to in the world. Starting with ourselves with an honesty and willingness to see and make changes makes all the difference and the reflection of this really does count.
38 years working in the NHS … AMAZING ✨ I consider the NHS to be one of the country’s treasures and one that we are failing desperately. In the local borough where I work the contraceptive and sexual health service has been privatised and the service has been the worst it has ever been, actually reducing and making services inaccessible to adults and young people instead of more accessible; along with this, staff are not appreciated or being supported and I feel this goes across the board for all people who work within the NHS .. they are neither truly appreciated nor truly supported. Also years ago you would just book a doctor’s appointment and would get one the next day, now you have to wait at least a week, are given a 5 minute slot in which to see them and if you have more than one thing you would like to talk about you have to book another appointment for the other issue!!! This alone shows how doctors are pushed for time and the quality of the service has deteriorated. I also agree that it is also up to us (the patients) to take true responsibility for our own health and well-being and we should be supported more to do so as well.
We can see disregard in our friends and family members and we may express how we feel but when they react it feels uncomfortable so we avoid doing it again. We need to feel what is appropriate because people will often get defensive and if we push them to change that can be counter-productive.
‘What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all – whereby we started to look at and understand not only how much self-disregard we are currently living in, but also the impact this way of living is having on our health, on our healthcare services and on our world?’ – Thank you Jane, this conversation is long overdue. We are indeed all responsible for all our movements and actions in life, and we need to understand that every choice we make affects not only our own health and wellbeing, but way beyond, with the enormous consequences it has for the healthcare systems world wide.
In some recent conversations with people, I noticed an element of judgement or dissatisfaction with the level of care and respect given to patients at hospital – and yes in many cases it is the barest of care and there is little dignity for many in their illness, and yet I do not feel the blame and finger should be solely pointed at the NHS and its staff. We are at a crisis point and not just for patients but for staff as well and we as a society are all contributing to this issue and there is no blame needed anywhere, only for us all to see the reasonability we have in contributing to the way the health care system is and making steps for ourselves to change how we are contributing.
I agree – and most importantly I feel is to understand that in truth, lack of funding is not the real reason we are seeing the break down in the system – it could have all the money in the world thrown at it, and it would simply become better at management but not at stopping the rising tide that will ever increase while we do not address the root cause – how we live.
What is fascinating is that this level of disregard has become so normal, that some have more severe levels of it but ultimately humanity has accepted that disregard is our normal. There are so many avenues in our lives where this happens, or even we allow it to happen because we don’t stand up and say hey that is not ok. First we need to focus in our own lives where this is happening and start to call out what is not Love and start to accept that Love is our foundation, not disregard.
Jane what I noticed since reading your blog is how much I allow little areas of self dis-regard that then mean I walk out into the world and don’t ‘bat an eyelid’ at some things that go on instead of observing life as what is and what is not love. As others have shared there are so many subtle areas to look at and at the same time appreciate.
It is so true when you write Jane that appointments are booked on a conveyor belt, and to be honest when I do go to the doctor I can feel this tension of only having ten minutes – it’s almost palatable. This is not healthy for the patient, and it certainly is not healthy for the doctor to be working like this.
Absolutely Julie. There is so much tension around having an appointment with a doctor, and I heard recently in my local practice that patients are only allowed to go to an appointment with one question regarding their health. Perhapes if patients and doctors were given more time to go into more detail about thier healthcare, the outcome would potentially be much more time efficient and beneficial to both parties, leading to less appointments needed in general.
Reading this again this morning Jane and your list of the ways we can dis-regard, it is clear that that our conscious awareness in whatever we are doing can guide us to deeper and deeper self regarding actions.
We only have to look out of car window when driving somewhere and see the amount of rubbish that is strewn along the sides of the road to get an idea of how much disregard we as a society are living in. As a child I never remember seeing so much waste. This is no doubt down to the enormous amount of packaging around ready to eat foods that are available today, but also an indication of people ‘eating on the run’ and not taking time to prepare food that will really support them. However, if the demand is there and it is being met, where does the responsibility lie? Is it not ultimatley with us?
Asking healthcare professionals to make the decision of who and how humanity get treated, where funding is allocated and how to look after patients with lifestyle related conditions could look completely different to how it does today. If we live responsibly in our own lives and look after our health, it’s guaranteed that the medical profession wouldn’t be under such enormous pressure to bandage up the choices of the entire population. Money, doctors, nurses and resources aren’t unlimited.
Thank you Jane for putting a mirror in front of everybody as the self disregard we choose is huge as outlined in your article and the healthcare system is merely treating the symptoms and cannot keep up with the high demands by what is happening with our health. Lets have an honest and open look at our part and how simple it can be, to just start with one self loving/caring choice and slowly build on this, as we know deep inside we are worth taking care of… by ourselves.
Is a friend a true friend if they can see what you are doing and knowingly allow you to continue to self-disregard?
Indeed – a question well worth pondering for us all.
It’s not just our teeth that are rotting, our bodies are too but the reason why a rotting body doesn’t prompt us to start to question how we are living, is because all of our behaviours and choices are set in motion by energy. Therefore unless we address the energetic origin to our self destructive ways, then self destruct we will, because salvation isn’t one of the options offered to us in the same palette as self destruction.
It’s an exasperating situation where the level of self disregard is so high, we want to create societies that care for everyone in it, but by the other token to offer care to those who are knowingly not caring for themselves is a spiralling financial crisis. There is no cut off point where we say enough is enough, but it does feel better to focus on the positive and look at where we can change and offer a reflection of health to the best of our ability. To do this requires us to question what is put forward as being healthy, and take it way beyond this model to a level of wellbeing that means we live not just free of illness but with a great deal of joy.
Self-disregard is the elephant in the room. It is a subject that very few people are ready or willing to talk about and as bad as things are, they need to get quite a lot worse before our collective hand is forced to discuss this topic.
Yes how much worse does our health need to get that we will be open to talk about things like self-disregard with our health professionals from a point of honesty? Often now it does not go further than ‘smoking is not good for you’ and ‘reduce sugar intake’ and we say yes we know but keep going and that is because self-disregard is a much deeper ingrained pattern that touches on self-worth and the feeling of being enough or not. If we do not go there in why we self-disregard (globally) it is probably much harder to change.
We just need to get totally honest about self disregard, I used to socialise in circles where constant disregard was the norm and I suppose thought of as cool the more wasted you could get. Why should other people have to pay when through our own choices we have made ourselves ill?
As a health professional who has worked in the NHS, I have experienced this situation of having very limited time to deal with the main presenting symptoms when I could sense that there was so much more going on in terms of lifestyle for the patient that could assist them in preventing the problem in the first place.
The turning point lies in realising that we are worth caring for. Once this has been felt, we empower our selves to address our negative behaviours and disregard from the roots up. While there may be a few sticking points, the benefits felt from taking care of our selves begins to snowball. We are worthy of feeling extremely well and vital and it is easily attained when we cease the habits that deeply hurt our bodies.
Interesting how much our mouth health can be a mirror of how we live, how much regard and care we have for ourselves.
I was just thinking about this today, I’ve been seeing someone at work increasingly up the anti on their level of dis-regard and their body and health are deteriorating. I feel it’s the same as a practitioner observing this, and talking with the patient about it. After reading this blog I can feel my observations are not just for me to know or understand, it is to be shared and in that potentially bring a awareness or stop for the other person.
I am also working in healthcare and therefore I only can agree what you have shared in your awesome blog. For me it is important to tell a patient if there is self-disregard as this is the base of my work. Often the patient can not see it but after presenting it and let them observe it by themselves they often open up and start to change it. This changes has also an effect on their mental illness as well as they start to be more self-caring and they also start to understand themselves more deeply and lovingly. So YES for me it is important to talk about self-disregard with patients.
‘Self-disregard’ is a conversation well worth having, and one that can easily identify areas in our day where this dismissal of our body, of our attention and care could really be examined, bringing opportunity to introduce a greater awareness of self care and self responsibility.
“… Often appointments are booked on a continuous conveyor belt of one in, one out,…” This is the sad truth of the health system that is doing its best to cope with the rise of ill health … The pressure is felt by all, from the patients to the health care providers. It seems apparent that an adjustment within the public health system will have to happen in public health to accomodate the national and global rise in dis-ease statistics.
Brilliant blog Jane, raising awareness around the link between self-disregard with ill health is very much needed. I agree, this is a conversation we all need to have and start to be open and honest about what is really going. Talk about what is needed to support each other and the healthcare profession because we can’t keep ignoring the fact that we have an ill health crisis that is affecting people world-wide.
Is the reason that self-disregard is a no-go topic that it pulls us to be responsible? Is it easier to just take some medicine?
Perfection can get in the way of this honest and transparent conversation. What I mean is that sometimes I feel I can’t say something that I observe in another, as I am still doing it myself. The thought can be “who are you to point this out, when you do it yourself in other ways”. I feel that is a trick to stop us from having honest conversations around this.
Someone offering us truth in no matter which situation or patterns we live in is the gold that we can either accept or reject. Leading us closer to living the vitality we know is true or further towards the current trends we are witnessing across the world in health care.
I have been exploring self disregard and the many ways it can show up, discovering these ways that I would have at first glance considered normal, has helped bring more responsibility for my own health, well-being and what I am able to share with others. I welcome someone offering what they notice if it deepens understanding and helps break harmful old patterns of disregard.
Great point Rosanna. Interestingly I witnessed a scene on the street this week that I felt to be very disregarding to the person. On the following morning I realised that I too allow disregarding attitudes in my life, on a different proportion to what I had witnessed yet the exact same harmful behaviour. Independently of how tiny it is, I am in fact contributing to the scene I observed.
It is a trick to think that because we aren’t acting in the same obvious disregard that we are OK, yet energy cannot be quantified in this way, it is either truly loving or it is not. If it’s not love, then we are equally contributing to that same pool that accepts and fosters disregard.
Sometimes we can’t see a pattern of disregard we have been living in until we see the reflection of another not living that or sometimes it might be when someone lovingly points it out to us.
Yes our habitual ways of living can become so ingrained and familiar that we stop noticing them or consider them as normal until we get a correction or a wake up call of some kind or another that actually they are not a natural way of living for the human body.
Such a relevant blog to our times. Self-care will one day be a discussion that is given by our health care professional as part of our care plan.
Perhaps ‘no care without self-care’?
I like that Christoph, sounds like a new slogan for the Medical system.
“In this, we could say self-disregard is any number of things, e.g. not cleaning our teeth regularly, eating foods that do not nourish our body, drinking beverages that do not truly support our hydration, grabbing food on the go with little or no time to digest it, pushing our body to the extremes on over-rigorous exercise or not partaking in any exercise whatsoever, ignoring our body and the signs and symptoms it gives us, not wearing warm clothes on a cold frosty day. All of which affect the quality of our health, our hair, skin, teeth, eyes, posture, all aspects of our anatomy and physiology, and our general sense of wellbeing.” So many seemingly little things we may do every day and never think of the consequences. Put all of them together, and many people do all of these in their driven lives, and they add up to one result, illness and disease. One of the problems is that to many it seems that life lived this way is normal, how it is or has to be. In a life of always chasing your tail there is little opportunity to truly stop and take a long look at the way you are living, and no opportunity to find that stillness deep within ourselves that nourishes us and brings us home to our essence.
One by one as we all start to make these self-loving choices we will then we start to inspire others to potentially look at their own lives and what they are choosing that is not loving nor supportive. I find myself just doing what I now know to be incredibly supportive and people around me clock and ask questions. It is so awesome to have these discussion where we are open enough to look at ourselves and be honest to where we are and what we can see is seriously supportive.
Absolutely Natalie, people indeed can feel the way we care for and our own regard towards ourselves. I also find so inspiring to see others making such choices. I am fortunate to work in a dental practice and we see a lot of patients every day. It is pure joy to see people deepening their self care and the effects it makes on their mouth and oral health.
Really great insights Jane. I am a health care professional and I am constantly reflecting on and refining the level of care and self-regard I treat myself with as this is what will be reflected behind any advice and or observation I make to a patient with regards to their oral health.
It can be clearly felt when a healthcare professional lives what they teach/work. Awareness of this responsibility is gold as how can we say one thing and yet live another? The words then just come out hollow. Live them and the words expressed come with an authority from the body – the truth is palpably felt and inspiration/healing quickly follow.
So true Priscila, it is our livingness that we reflect to others; it’s so important to work on one’s own self-regard.
Having a sense of awareness, regard and responsibility for ourselves makes an incredible difference to our long term well-being and health. I know I’ve lived long enough to turn the tide on low grade conditions that with out taking these steps could have lead to more serious health concerns and treatments. Taking responsibility for what we can change and choose for our well-being takes a huge pressure off our bodies needing to cope and the health care systems backing us up because we simply don’t choose to back ourselves when and where we can, leaving the NHS of the world more freely available for acute, essential care rather than symptom treatments for conditions inflamed by dis-regard.
Self-disregard is indeed a big issue every where and you hit the nail on the head by calling it a plague.
So easy to change and make self-caring choices with such a great impact on ourselves and people around us. Let’s make it ‘a challenge’ and start taking responsibility for our own health and well-being.
This is great call, Jane. What if health-care professionals did highlight the disregard they read in patients… wouldn’t this be part of the healing process? Surely, as patients we need to begin to take responsibility for our own health as the 1st step.
We are responsible for our health through our choices in every moment.
It can seem overwhelming to feel where we are all at in our care of ourselves but it really is only one place to start and that is with ourselves.
Seeing how prevalent and debilitating the lack of care and regard for self is in all aspects of life, it would make sense for us to put more emphasis on reflecting on why and how we have ended up in such a place.
Self disregard is a term that not many use. It is a term that requires a great deal of honesty to use in relation to oneself. It also requires a certain amount of awareness. Many people think that there is nothing wrong with their choices or behaviours and would not call them disregarding. The more aware we become the more we realise that the choices we are making may not be all that loving for the body. There are loving choices or disregarding choices. If our choices are not loving then we are in disregard.
So simple! When you put the implications of not truly taking care of yourself into perspective the consequences are far far greater than just with our own state of health alone. Such simple medicine could save countries billions!
Our choices to disregard is adding to the increase in illness and disease. As simple as that and we have a responsibility to listen to our bodies and not abuse the healthcare system by only going to them to be fixed.
Self care is for patients as well as staff – drinking water is a simple but important example – if the doctors are scratching their heads to find the right meds to treat a patient, if there is not enough fluids, there will be further complications – nurses don’t have enough time to make sure patients have water and are drinking it.
I had been previously unaware how much can be observed through the body via a visit to the dentist or the optician, so much that they know how we are living and can diagnose severe illness through our teeth or our eyes. It is so important to have the regular check ups, even if we are symptom free, honouring ourselves and our continuing good health.
When love is the marker self-disregard becomes clear. The more I step up in self-regard the more layers of self-disregard are exposed and the more I have to refine my self-nurture and expression. When we get it it is sometimes hard to observe others in disregard and not go into reaction but if I was given the grace and space to observe this within myself then it is natural that I should give the grace and space to others to get there in their own time, simply offering what I have learned from a body that is living the growing awareness and the healing – also knowing that I will always be refining my understanding and deepening my learning of what it means to love and to self-care.
Self-disregard has become so common that it is regarded as the normal way to live – treating the body that serves and supports us like a nuisance and inanimate object that has to function, no matter what.
When speaking with a local doctor recently, we were discussing the lack of self care and how this can foster further self disregard and irresponsibility with our own health as people just think the NHS will fix them. The doctor agreed that this is vital for the NHS to continue its work.
“When we start to heal the level of self-disregard we have been living with, and begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us”.
Great point about the dentist Jane. ‘A hygienist in a dental practice I know sees a lot of self-disregard in the mouths of her patients.” How much care do we take of our teeth, not really seeing them as part of living a healthy life. Do we really care what we put into our mouths? Food and drink is a huge part of our lives and our gums and teeth are a great indicator of how much care we are really taking with ourselves.
There are a lot of protests about ‘Saving our NHS’ from privatisation, being corrupted by the Government or collapsed altogether, but as you’ve shared Jane the future of the NHS rests in the hands of us – the population of the UK – and until we can say that our own way of living is responsible can we really point fingers at other people for ‘ruining’ what we have made a very bloated system?
Jane this is a stunning article because it really shows the state of health and brings attention to this but also the responsibility of both the medical practitioner to bring awareness to the patient and for the patient to be willing and open to receive the feedback and make changes. It’s like it’s asking us to get really honest about what is going on for us in our lives, to bring truth to that and in that process we start having true healthcare systems with equal responsibility on the patient and practitioner.
Great questions Jane and it feels like this needs to start before the point of us presenting at a healthcare facility with an issue. We are all reflections for others and too many people have become trapped in a self-disregarding way of living at home and at work. If children had role models who deeply cared for themselves at home and at school this would become their norm. For myself I have been committing to an exercise programme including exercises that I can do at work and have been shocked at how challenging I find it completing them on a daily basis – putting getting on with work ahead of my own wellbeing. This is just one small example but we are surrounded by multiple examples every day and if we all committed to exploring how we can make small incremental changes then this tide could be turned.
From what I have come to understand from my own lived experience is that living in a way that disregards this precious body of mine will often be the path to illness and disease. After all our bodies might be able to put up with a lot of abuse from us but they are ‘breakable’ and there will come a time when they will bring us to a grinding, and often painful stop and say, no more. Unfortunately, most people consider this enforced stop an inconvenience and once cured they will be off to live in their disregarding ways once again until they are stopped – again. It is becoming clearer and clearer that our lifestyle choices play a huge part in the quality of our health, therefore the state of our health, and the world’s health, is our responsibility.
So true Bina and Liane, self care starts at home and we have to live what we share with others otherwise we end up just as sick as everyone else.
Could it be when our health care practitioners show regard and not live in the same disregard as everyone else then the system will turn the corner? As you shared Jane, “understanding that the way we are living can lead to illness and disease or true wellbeing, and making true changes to our daily life?” This is what I have noticed that when there is a healthy consciousness lived by the practitioner the client can feel their lived rhythm, so there becomes a mutual decency and respect so everyone benefits.
Very true Jane, so lets bring on the True Leaders who will “lead the way.”
There are so many things that we can put into our daily routine that will assist us to have an improved quality of life, and when we do, it is empowering to know that we are doing our bit. I know that it is easy to get into the mindset of having the NHS fix us (I have been there), but we actually do have a say in the outcome of our health, and the improvements we can make, no matter how small.
Maybe in time to come we will choose to live openly, transparently, and honestly – where we appreciate the observations of others including our healthcare practitioners about our self-disregard, or where we feel we can openly talk about this not just in our healthcare appointments, but also in our daily lives. This is a great start and can be beautifully supported by our own livingness and the reflection that this brings for others to know another way.
The quality of life lived by society is general is that disregard is the norm, and in certain aspects is even promoted as healthy, so many are not aware that they are in disregard.
Before I encountered Universal Medicine, it had never occurred to me that the way I was living could possibly be disregarding of myself. My normal was normal. It was only after I started to make a conscious choice to introduce gentleness and self-love, I gradually became aware of the level of disregard I was living with.
Fumiyo me too. I had a chronic illness for years and other health conditions too, and it wasn’t until I found Universal Medicine that I became aware of my level disregard and how this was affecting my health which in turn gave me the choice to change this, the love and care I brought to myself the more I could see and feel where I hadn’t been.
Disregard is seen as a negative or something that is obviously harming. How often do we stop to take a moment to feel how disregarding we can be with ourselves within minutes that sooner or later becomes the scaffold for the large scale disregard that fills our medical centres and hospitals worldwide.
There is a bit of the snake eating its own tail, Ouroboros with our self-disregard. We expect the medical fraternity to fix us and in turn, we are causing an overload on the system to force them into their disregard to try and keep their heads above water, and they are drowning from the weight.
Thank you Jane… Yes it is always interesting and revealing to introduce the awareness that you are talking here to people in general… at the courses and events… There is indeed a need for a collective paradigm shift in this regard.
It is such a simple equation: the quality of our health rests firmly upon the quality of care we provide for our selves. There is a growing awareness in the NHS of lifestyle choices impacting on health, but we as a nation have a great deal to mop up if we are to prevent our health system from going over the edge. Taking personal responsibility for the quality of our lifestyle is our number one medicine and the only place to start.
Perhaps we need to start to link the relationship between intelligence and health, for at present we don’t connect the two, but in reality as people are dying from preventable lifestyle related conditions the two are inextricably linked. If you don’t care for your body are you acting a little bit dumb. If you could for example write a highly academically acclaimed 10,000 word thesis on quantum physics, but put your body in a state of stress and decline, then are you an intelligent being, or to put it another way: are you a being acting in true intelligence? Maybe our approach to health and intelligence is all messed up and we need to teach, showcase and learn about intelligence with a completely different self regarding perspective.
Very well said Stephen. Our society currently celebrates intelligence that often calls in self-disregard. This to me is not intelligence at all if it involves any form of self-disregard. So, I agree Stephen, our current education system is a bit messed up and missing a huge link. The answers are so clearly presented here thanks to Jane and so many comments/discussions shared.
The thing is a lot of us know we are living in disregard, but our mind driven existence makes excuses or we are just not prepared to take the responsibility for our own health into our own hands, but pass it over to the over burdened NHS. When we look at it this really doesn’t make sense, something really does have to change and change soon or we are going to have some very desperate cases not receiving the care they need when the whole thing implodes.
It’s important to open the subject of self disregard with family and friends. One way is to share information with others through blogs such as this. It’s a way of raising awareness when so many of us, oblivious of how bad things are, continue doing what we’ve always done, not knowing we have the power to make fundamental changes to our own lives and sense of well-being.
Thank you Jane – How do you tackle such a huge topic / discussion / concerning problem? Awareness is the key, and as you say discussion of this will bring a sense of rapport with each other. The other more prominent side to this is having that discussion with each other while there is a dis-ease being experienced. It seems people are more open when they are unwell. Let’s open up to what is really going on …
Although I now care for myself in a far more loving way than before when I took very little responsibility for the way I conducted my life, I can nevertheless see room for a deepening of this – and it has been stunning lately to see the enormity of the force that we can still allow through us when a button gets pushed, which for me lies in the area of mastering a new technological skill on the computer or phone. The mastery of ‘One Life’ will surely be a wondrous thing.
I have just come from visiting a friend who has just come out of surgery and I was reminded or have been privileged to deepen my awareness of the extent of what is truly going on and the amount of money that is getting sucked up to manage the overwhelm in demand for a solution fix of the illness and disease that is being lived by humanity. It certainly is time to turn on the lights and honestly look where we are at as a society and how we are avoiding such a serious problem we are in, worldwide.
Valuing our body is key in how we take care of ourselves – if we truly appreciate something then it is natural to want to take care of it. I think this is something we need to have in our education system as a core foundational aspect of life and something that everyone grows up being supported to value and deepen in their life. And it’s never too late to start now for everyone who has already been through school!
It is amazing that we are told by the WHO that 95% of our health problems are due to lifestyle choices, which means there is a lot of self disregard happening in most peoples life. We are truly blessed to have true role models that show to us in their living ways what true self regard is, thereby giving us the reflection that offers a choice to do away with self disregard in our lives.
This is sadly very true Bina. We seem to operate life through an ethos of ‘do as I say and not as I do’. When there is no lived quality behind the words that we speak, our actions, no matter how well intentioned, remain empty until such a time as we ‘fill them up’ with a way of living that moves in and with respect to the form (body) we are enhoused within and thereby deeply considers the physical health of ourselves so that we can better help to serve and support all others.
What great questions you raise in this blog, Jane. For me you also write about responsibility. The amount of people that need medical care because they disregard themselves and have an unhealthy lifestyle brings overwhelm into healthcare and bankrupts governments. But who are actually responsible here? I absolutely agree that we should be transparent about this and talk more about it.
If we are in someone’s house and notice a leak or something in need of urgent repair so that it did not jeopardise anyone’s safety, we would tell the owner of the house so that they could take the necessary measures to ensure that disaster did not strike. It is no different with our bodies. They are the ‘homes’ we live in well before we place a roof over our heads and so it stands that what you have presented here Jane makes perfect sense – we need to deeply care and honour the physical form we reside within because not only is it our home, it is also our temple through which we can allow the light of the Soul to shine through, if cared for in a way that allows such sacredness to be.
Hearing colleagues at work talking it is clear that there is still a great separation between ‘personal life’ and ‘working life’ and it is generally accepted, and therefore seen as ‘normal’, that work is stressful. Comfort or a form for venting is often sought at home, to relieve the work pressure. Starting to self-care is just the beginning, and also the start of understanding that our life is one life… it is all the same. We can bring the qualities of love, joy and consistency no matter what we are doing.
Thank you for writing this blog Jane on a very important topic.
I can say from first hand experience that self disregard has a huge knock on effect into all areas of our lives.
For example, I have had times where everything in my life seems to be going wrong, are not flowing and just not going in a way that I know that I deserve and no matter how much I’d think of strategies and ways to get out of it – nothing ever worked.
Just as you have done here, someone put to me whether it was possible that I was not appreciating myself. As I was open, I could suddenly see that there have been so many ways that I would disregard myself – rushing to get something done for another, working beyond when my body said it wanted to stop, doing things because I ‘thought’ that’s what others wanted then feeling resentful if the outcome was not as I’d imagined, not allowing myself to rest when my body said so.
Whilst none of this changes over night with the above awareness I have been able to say NO to an abusive situation and with that the tides are turning as each day I choose to take more care of myself and deal with the self disregard.
At the bottom of this self disregard I feel is lack of self-worth.
A simple thing that I have reintroduced that had gone by the way side is going for a walk at lunchtime, with me – no bag, no phone or anything just to give myself some space within the hussle and bustle of life. I am finding that as a result, I am getting to know myself more, am choosing more easily to not get involved in draining conversations and am being much more productive in my days!
One simple change that is supporting the shift of disregard to that of self-worth.
From someone who has been in an industry for some “38 years” you would consider this word as expert and this article is saying our health systems are in overwhelm already with no sign of stopping. In this it’s not only the Government that needs to have a deeper look at what’s going on but also it comes back to the individual, to us all. How are we supporting in this situation. As the article presents the system isn’t exactly supporting Doctor to have the time and care for patients and so it will need the patients to step up and take this time themselves and at this point everything is pointing to our lifestyle, the quality we are living. We are not just talking about eating your greens or flossing either though this is a start but we are talking about how you are moving in and around the world, what you are thinking and how you are interacting with life, all these are lifestyle as well. It is time for us to consider how things are like they are and how much our hands are in this.
One would possibly assume those in an industry, those who have an inside window into health care would be our healthiest. If they too are part of the same ‘crisis’ then with respect how truly can they be the ones to lead us out? This shows that no matter what your knowledge base is around illness and disease etc there is far more to it then just adopting our current education into what is happening. These problems are needing to be truly solved or healed for all of us and so who and how are we going to be inspired out of this? It would seem that someone that takes an overall deep care of themselves first and then that care would flow out from there. In other words people that are willing not just to go along with a system that obviously isn’t able to support itself or us but to stand up and live what they are seeing is needing to be done. From reading this article and comments the author is looking like one of those people who are willing to back up their walk and talk with a movement that brings us all to see how we are needing to support ourselves and each other.
Great questions Jane much to ponder on, thank you for posing them.
I see self-disgard as the ‘small’ things that slowly chip away at our health or the turning away from what we feel is true. It’s the choice to not listen to the smaller messages from our body such as consistently going outside not warm enough or repeatedly carrying objects too heavy for us.
Small things build up on top of each other. Once amassed they can feel huge but they are made of loads of ‘small’ moments. Change one and it creates a ripple effect.
‘What if the topic of self-disregard was a much-needed conversation amongst us all – whereby we started to look at and understand not only how much self-disregard we are currently living in, but also the impact this way of living is having on our health, on our healthcare services and on our world?’ Hear hear Jane! To be open to being aware of this and then making different choices because of it is true responsibility in living action.
Yes, the varying levels of disregard we have accepted run incredibly deep. The shocking thing is that we have so normalised them so that we generally don’t call them out (as you suggest in your blog), or in many circumstances even see them. What you are sharing here Jane is so important. It is time to call out this self-disregard for the abuse that it is, not just for the individual but for the negative impact this then has on our society; not just on the health system, but on our work and productivity, our relationships – every facet of our communities in fact.
Self-disregard is huge and what always stands out for me is that it is so normalised in that everybody does it and it is seen as normal, in some cases it is even (indirectly) rewarded for instance when we are finishing a project for school or making a deadline for work we often let go of our self-care and this is seen as great work/study skills. Yet with self-disregard we are always not living our full potential, because our full potential is coming from a body and mind that are in harmony and taken well care of. This would also very much support the current state of the healthcare systems around the world as they are all well on their way to bankruptcy.
I see the championing of dis-regard play out in workplaces a lot, and there is even competitiveness around who has been more dis-regarding that day. Like who hasn’t taken lunch or who is more stressed or who has kept pushing themselves until they have a headache and are frustrated etc. We need to reflect another way, and show that the cycle of dis-regard is not our natural way of being. We only need to look at babies and toddlers, when left to be themselves, they naturally regard their bodies and know when they need sleep, food, or a quiet place.
This really debunks the “fix me” approach to illness and disease and correctly poses the needed question “why do we need fixing in the first place?” Yes whilst our body does need maintaining we can still lovingly look after it till the end. The fact that we don’t generally do this very well exposes a part of our inner selves that needs healing as this disregard is most certainly NOT part of our true nature.
It certainly is true that healthcare professionals provide a very caring and loving service where they can against the rising numbers of patients with numerous diseases. I accompanied an elderly woman to A&E last week and all the staff from the man on the end of the initial phone call, the ambulance workers, and throughout the doctors could not have been more caring, yet they had been on long shifts and had demands for instant outcomes from patients all the time. Their patience was amazing, and no-one showed any signs of frustration or fatigue. But who looks after the staff? Do they manage to give themselves the utmost respect in the midst of the pressure. We need to at least show our appreciation for all they give us.
Yes these staff really are amazing Joan. The job they do is incredible. It’s important that we acknowledge this and give them the support that they need.
So true Joan these staff are amazing, Who looks after them? great question. It is important we show our appreciation when we get the opportunity for these staff, this will give them an opportunity to stop and self appreciate what they bring to humanity.
What an article, firm and true. Let’s put ourselves in these health professional shoes and imagine not only the pressure they are under but the amount they see humanities choices play havoc on the body. We must start a self-care revolution, rebrand regard!
I feel there is an element of loneliness in this one. Seeking attention, any kind of attention really, being listened to and having someone respond in a helpful and supportive manner. I heard a story yesterday of a man who comes into the hospital emergency department frequently because he simply wants some company.
The cost to the community of self-disregard is huge, as is the cost to an individual, their family and friends, workplaces and industry. In fact it affects everything and the cost is not just financial, but unfortunately that’s what speaks much louder than anything else at present.
Building our own self worth is key in beginning to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, that we can enjoy greater health and deeper sense of well-being.
I see a pattern in myself as well as everyone else: for example eating something that I KNOW is harmful, but I think I love the taste of :
Scenario 1 – if my body finds a way of coping, I am more likely to consider overriding what I know and repeating the action.
Scenario 2 – if my body reacts with pain, headache or nausea, I am more likely to think twice before repeating the action.
It seems when we are given a leeway we tend to relax into it, and consequences seem necessary to propel change. The system of offering free care to us when we knowingly choose to abuse our bodies and bring on ill health, is neither practical financially, nor is it truly supportive for the individual to deepen their level of wisdom, understanding and responsibility.
By living a level of regard and care for ourselves we can remind others that there is a level of care and love that goes well beyond the current standards.
To know self disregard, one must first connect to and know the magnificence of there essence.
Of late I am feeling the biggest ‘ouch’. If I choose to move as I truly feel to from inside I get to feel just how much self disregard I have chosen to live. Such that I have not honoured this level of the depth of my essence before. Whilst this is very challenging and hurts deeply, I am super grateful, for now I know and have the opportunity to live in a much more full, honest and loving way.
We are always able to make a choice, one that supports ourselves and everyone by virtue, or, the opposite.
Having met a few people who are seriously ill this week self disregard is so evident. How can someone getting over pneumonia still smoke cigarettes? In letting go of judgement and becoming more aware and observing more, I still find it strange that many of us don’t do much to help ourselves. As a former nurse I was shocked when we allowed patients who had partail lobectomy ( removal of part of the lung) to smoke in the day room on the ward. This was many years ago, and smoking is no longer allowed anywhere in hospitals. But do we as general public take sufficient self care of our precious bodies?
It would be great for self care to be introduced into kindergartens and the whole education system, it’s easy to do, and we could change many people in a whole generation by doing so. And besides the self care people need support to learn to practise, the governments of the world cannot afford the escalating costs of health care due to increasing rates of illness and disease. We really need change. Until I came to the work of Serge Benhayon I had no idea about the levels of self care I now live with as I had learnt to take care of others before myself. Self care has completely changed my health and wellbeing – it is practical, simple, and it works.
Regarding ourselves as worthy builds a huge foundation Jane, a platform of looking after ourselves to reflect to others. We are the ones to change ourselves, no-one else, and we are very much worth it.
We do have a responsibility to share what we know is true, not from reaction or a righteousness but from a loving observation. It may be met with love and appreciation or it may not but it really is not about the outcome. Allowing ourselves to express in this way brings about a flow, acceptance and a holding and it brings about change that is so desperately needed in the world.
Thank you Jane. It is so important that each one cares for the beautiful intricately designed body that we inhabit. We take our cars for regular service ad often don’t pay the same kind of care to our very own vehicle, which is a vehicle of expression. In order to be a true vehicle, our body must be cared for in every way. If we do this then our connection to the true intelligence Internet will be true and strong, our health and well-being will flourish and some of the burden will be taken off an already flagging medical system.
Self-disregard is an issue for the majority of people and absolutely we need to reflect this back to others when we observe it. Not in a judgmental and trying to fix someone way but just sharing what we have observed and if appropriate with suggestions for how to make simple but supportive changes.
Making changes to basically care and look after ourself can be a relatively easy step.. but what about all the ways that we disregard ourselves, thinking that we’re doing something good? Do we push ourselves and our bodies, live in constant stress and overwhelm by putting too much pressure on ourselves to get it all done, right now? Any picture that we’re holding about how we think we should be, live or feel, puts us under enormous amounts of unnecessary pressure.
When we live in a certain way for a while, it is considered quite normal, as it is an habitual and comfortable pattern we are used to. It is only when others reflect back to us that there is another way to be, that the awareness can deepen and thus expose the self disregard we are unaware of.
Naming ‘self-disregard’ a plague is calling it for what it is and by doing clearly exposes how it has become insidiously widespread.
Self-disregard is a huge subject because we live in total disregard of our body most of the time. We only start to care for it when we are sick. By the time children are in secondary education many have already started to disregard their bodies in various ways, pushing them too far in sport or using their mind at the expense of the body to achieve the academic results they want, or seeking ways to check out from life such as computer games drugs and alcohol. As you say Jane the change has to come from within us “In the end it is us who turn the tide of change, and we have to start somewhere – where better to start than with self-disregard?” Absolutely.
Disregard is in fact our biggest killer because when we come to truly examine the underlying causes of many of our rapidly rising illnesses, the common baseline is a deep lack of care for our selves and our bodies. Restoring our self worth is essential medicine that empowers us to address this fundamental lack of self care with miraculous results, spoken by one who has experienced and can vouch for the immense effectiveness of this approach.
The topic of ‘dis-regard’ is a conversation that needs to happen, especially as the NHS has gone into overwhelm and is finding it difficult to cope with the demand. At what point will we start to see that we have some control and responsibility over our own health, and that it is not all down to back luck or faulty genes.
How common is it for us, to have all the wheels of our car fall off before we stop driving it, or do we get out and drag it till we can’t move anymore? We don’t do this to our car, or do we because we have perversity to drive our bodies this way? Our current way of living in disregard is well past threatening to overwhelm us!
Thank you Jane, this piece is brilliant as you give us the option to view self-regard as a responsible part of living in this world with each other.
I like dental analogies because they offer a good example of being proactive with our self-care. The principles of good dental care are for example, brushing teeth after a meal, flossing every day etc. It would be odd if we only brushed our teeth when we have toothache. Our usual model of dental care is a proactive one. Perhaps we can apply this proactive approach to other areas of our wellbeing too through our lifestyle choices as Jane suggests. And how would it be if we listened to our bodies and responded to the first signs of discomfort rather than waiting until the more ‘gross’ manifestations of illness and disease? Perhaps we could live with more true wellbeing and in the regard for ourselves proposed here.
And the beautiful thing is we can start with tending to one thing in our life that we know we have been neglecting and this will build the care for ourselves step by step.
I wonder how many people are oblivious to the concept of self-care and how many people do know their lives are in disregard but have not found a way yet to address it. And how medical care professionals or just every day people open up this concept not by criticizing what has not been done, but by way of example in consistenly caring for ourselves and expressing this care to others, so as to bring in their own awareness of wanting to know more about how to care for themselves and why go there.
We do have a ‘duty of care’ to discuss what we observe with our clients. It may be that does not want to be heard, but there is every chance it will, we do not own what we observe and it is certainly not about predicting an outcome of how a client will respond or react, it is there to share if we see it clearly. How we share it is with tact, grace and love, but it is necessary to discuss what we know is disregard when we see it.
Self-disregard when we look at it more closely is probably the major cause of most ailments, imagine how efficiently the NHS could run and all the resources it would have if we all took the responsibility of our own self-care seriously. We do need to be able to talk openly and honestly about health issues and maybe look at bringing in some tough guidelines, like to receive treatments you have to lose a few pounds and stop smoking and drinking alcohol.
Absolutely – you’ve inspired me to explore and do an experiment to see if and where I may be harbouring any self-disregard in my life.
“begin to regard ourselves as truly worthy of tender love and care, and treating ourselves with this deep self-regard, we will collectively turn the tide of illness and disease that is currently threatening to overwhelm us.” And it would turn the tide on the looming bankruptcy of the health systems.
The more regard we have for ourselves the more disregard we become aware of. Rather than judging this we can understand our own disregard and thus be open to understanding another’s. When we talk about these things with respect for ourselves and another there is a chance that they will be heard and the seed of change be sown. We can often hold back for fear of offending but this serves no one.
The mouth I would reckon is a pretty strong reflection of our lifestyle, and not only would it be the food and drink we ingest, but the effects of not caring for our bodies, overdoing it, and putting ourselves into stress and tension. There are a myriad of small changes we can all make at any time that will leave us healthier. It is really a question of intelligence, why we would wait until we are sick to start to live well, that exposes the intelligence we tap into or we don’t, and you would say at present a great many are choosing to live less than the intelligence that is equally available to us all.
Self- disregard can be obvious or not so obvious.There are many patterns where we feel trapped or as victims and do not see the point of taking responsibility with the excuse that life does not allow this. I got aware that the healing lies not in immediately changing the pattern into something better, but to get more aware of the pattern and eventually start to feel its harming consequences to the body.
Recently, I observed that someone I’ve known for some years was gaining weight. At first I thought she was pregnant, but no she wasn’t, but still she began to gain weight and look different from her young self. I reflected this to her one day. She thanked me and said ‘ you would have thought my friends would have told me this” She was unaware of her own weight gain and everyone else around her either accepted it, or didn’t know how to tell her. We’re all so busy being concerned about everything else and will spend hours on social media, watching soap and fictional plot lines, following political events, taking part in sporting activities socialising that we ignore what’s happening in our own bodies. We are completely dis-connected from it and this is at the heart of the problem. How can you have regard for something you treat as largely irrelevant?
Great to turn this subject on its head Jane. We’ve opened the conversation of self care, but rarely talk about self dis-regard and it’s time we did. In my experience, this often occurs when someone is faced with a life serious or life threatening illness and opens up about how they’ve been living. On the whole, people are defensive about the subject. Added to this, is the fact that self-disregard is now the norm, with people largely unaware of the harm they’re causing themselves and this includes most healthcare practitioners. As you say, the best way to begin to turn this around is to care for ourselves and let the way we live our lives be a point of inspiration for others.
I can understand that there is a level of self-disregard in the basis of many illnesses people are developing but as you say Jane, key is that we as a society, irrespective if we are clients or medical practitioners, have to come to this common understanding by confirming the fact that something is going seriously wrong as the health statistics so clearly are showing to us.
Self-disregard is there for a reason. It numbs and the consequences distract us. There are times we can consider that a price worth paying, though this attitude seems to become more and more prevalent. Perhaps we may need to deal with the need for numbing and distraction.
Yes Jane, Agreed. It is the small cogs in the wheel that brings about a larger and wider gear shift in the way health and health care is delivered… It does start with the one … “In the end it is us who turn the tide of change, and we have to start somewhere – where better to start than with self-disregard?…”
What are we living and why are we not having these honest conversations with each other? Thank you for sharing this blog that is staring to get the ball rolling.
Thanks Jane, I agree – we can all play our part in addressing the issue of ever increasing levels of ill health conditions. Self-disregard has been an evolving concept for me to understand over time. Years ago I would have said that I really cared for myself: I ate nutritious food, exercised regularly etc., but I have gradually realised that I often performed these actions with very little consideration of what my body was actually telling me it needed. As I have learnt to pay closer attention and adjusted my lifestyle accordingly, I have found the level of appreciation for my body has increased and so has my overall health. It feels wonderful to have this capacity to take care of myself and know that I am not a helpless victim of illness and disease.
The self-disregard conversation is one we definitely have to have – everywhere, whether we’re health professionals advising a patient or not. It’s a conversation that runs parallel to understanding the self-abuse we choose, and it’s not until we have these conversations that we can start to wake up and understand the level of mess we’ve created for ourselves.
Self-regard, self-love, self-care – people might say this concern for the self is ‘selfish’. However it’s anything but: it’s our flagrant lack of love and care for ourselves that is truly selfish. With our self-disregard we are placing a huge burden on our health care professionals and systems. In other words, we will be the cause of the collapse that’s bound to happen.
Yes there is a huge level of self disregard in us and in our world .. how willing are we to talk about it? Not very or only in bursts, so we take care before our weddings (some, or at least enough to look good), similarly for that beach holiday … in all instances our regard is based on an external outcome and not something we truly embrace as a way we can live. And that is what is truly called for here, as Jane rightly notes, taking true care of us no matter what and expanding that out into a conversation to have with all of those around us … so we ‘infect’ each other with our new regard!
It feels like greatest form of self-disregard is ignorance of energy. We play nice with others overlooking the quality that is not true. We say we are ‘good’ and ‘had a great day’ but how have we actually lived? And have we let slide the energy that is not actually us? Thanks to your words here Jane I can see how this is what happens when I ignore the real me. It’s time for more honesty.
We all have an opportunity to start to openly talk about these things and to be honest with others in conversations, like talking about our last visit to the doctors, as I find that when I do share what’s going on for me with others, it opens the conversation up for everyone to be more aware and honest about what choices they are making that are affecting their health.
What a truly worthy topic to start everyday conversations about ‘self-regard’ and what dis-regard looks like with our bodies. The example of mouth cancers makes sense but it isn’t one I had ever considered before. Simple conversations will support greater awareness.
Sandra I agree it’s a great topic to start the day with: “conversations about ‘self-regard’ and what dis-regard looks like with our bodies.” This will give us some space to stop and ponder on how we are moving and living, whether it’s in the doing or a need or with self love.
The doing or needing mode (from experience) automatically opens up for dis-regard simply because I’m looking outside my self for some sort of approval, acceptance etc.
Our rising health issues raises an important point for each and everyone of us whether as a patient or a provider of health services, what level of responsibility do we take for our own self care and lifestyles?