923 thoughts on “A Blank Canvas Waiting – Life After Prostate Cancer”

1. This is a huge inspiring read for anyone who has cancer or is going through cancer treatment. I really appreciate your honesty and can feel the surrender to your body which to me is huge. Because I know someone who is going through cancer treatment and they see it as a fight against the cancer, which to me is really saying they are fighting themselves, so there is no surrender. We are so uneducated when it comes to illness and disease, we do not see it as the body’s way of ridding itself of negative energy that has built up over in some cases life times.

2. Michael, reading about your experience with prostate cancer is inspiring for other men. It is a stop moment for anyone to take heed and truly go within. You outed yourself with the doing for others and realising you seldom offered this to yourself. This was an opportunity to put yourself first.

   What I also loved is the openness of the support you received by many people around you, especially Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine Practitioners. That ‘deep rest’ is needed for many of us to go to from time to time, when we have any stop moments.
   Thank you Michael, truly inspiring to read.

3. This is such a beautiful blog Michael. I was pleased to have encountered it again; it’s not so much what you share, although this in itself is remarkable, it is how you are sharing it. Here’s to your special brand of reflection and commitment – your magic and your art – totally gorgeous to be a part of and to experience.

4. It is true what you say here Michael in my experience that men often do not pay much attention to their bodies and to their health, until they get a health scare and even then there is a temptation to get the treatment and the solution or cure and then go back to the same life as before so it is great to hear of your approach here and deep reflection on your life that came about as a result of your illness.

   1. Andrew, it is a sad state of affairs how men live around the world. I observe it around me, the hardness and ‘fix me’ mentality. There is another way to heal and it begins with us and it is within us, it is that simple, if we are willing to go there.

5. I have never come across a man who suffers from prostate cancer, I have never really been in close contact with somebody who had cancer so I cannot know the consequences first or even second hand. But i am aware of the shock the diagnosis can have on people, on family members and friends. Illness and disease can bring life into perspective, a wake up call that is needed. Sometimes we learn to stop putting others before us and to truly value what we sense is right, what we want to do because as some say – life is short and anything can happen at any point – the only time we won’t have regrets is if we have followed what we deem is correct for us to do.

6. Very inspired to feel how your appreciation of a blank canvas is a reflection of your commitment to healing, and surrendering to whatever is to be brought forward. I can feel how we ourselves could jeopardize the process by having pictures and wanting to control.

7. “And by stopping, I suddenly realised that I had the most amazing blank canvas and I could work my magic on it in whatever way I truly chose to live.” What an absolute gift this was for you Michael, to see this stop as a time to regather and re-evaluate where you were in your life, and what you could do to change it.

8. I love how you have shared your experience so openly and honestly Michael. It is very inpsiring for both men and women alike.

   1. This must have been a very traumatising time, but to see your way through it with honest refection is very inspiring… I agree Sandra.

9. What an inspiring way to see your prostate cancer Michael as a blank canvas and a stop moment to review your life and look at how you have been living, and what was and wasn’t working for you anymore. Not everyone views their illness in this way but we get sick by the ill choices we make and if we don’t review them we blindly carry on until the next illness.

10. This is such a beautiful read, and it relates to all men and women, that we can lose contact with the true essence of who we are and begin living from gender roles and stereotypes, and this places pressures and stresses on the body. I know it well myself, to feel like I had value I had to be doing something for someone, because I didn’t always know how to just be me and enjoy that, or how to put myself first and then offer my care to others after I was well taken care of.

11. A beautiful testimonial from a man willing to share the process he is going through. Sensitivity is not about crying and being wimpy, it’s about the fact that naturally men and women are sensitive to feeling, feeling what is around and what is playing out in their lives. Feeling that the exhaustion put on the body from travels is damaging, when negating that sensitivity, men and women bring harm to their body – it’s simple. Why have we made it to be something it is not? Why have we introduced so many other definitions and societal expectations of what “sensitive” means – for it robs both men and women from our most sacred sense.

12. A beautiful case study showing that illness or disease can offer the opportunity for deep healing.

13. So beautifully written Michael. A blank canvas has been wiped clean of all imprints and images that have us living life not in accordance to the truth of who we are.

14. There is here a lovely appreciation for the skilful delicacy of the doctor as he unraveled for you the reality of your situation.

15. Rereading your blog is like getting a wash of surrender and tenderness. To feel how deeply you surrendered, your delicateness, your gratefulness to the process and the support you have and the reflection you offer to each reader with this is truly a gift.

    1. Yes, and a beautiful acceptance of the situation.

16. Michael you make an important point about men and their health care. For you it took a heart attack and persuasion to get a regular health check. I find this with the men in my life as well, even though they send the people around them to the doctor for a splinter so to speak they are very stubborn in taking care of themselves. Your beautiful open and sensitive sharing here is a gift for men to see how different it can be.

17. The surrender in your words Michael is felt. Thank you for offering a moment to stop, and reflect. Letting go and surrendering is something we do so effortlessly when young – we just do it – and the more we re-learn this way of being in life as adults, the more at ease and in flow we are with life: swimming with the tide rather than against it, uphill.

    1. Surrender (giving up the fight) is not only the key to healing, it is the founding stone to a rich life lived with truth and great love.

18. So clearly and powerfully expressed Michael, we choose to get on those express trains of drive or withholding, merely delaying the truth that is there to be lived.

19. Always love coming back to this blog Michael, there is so much honesty here and it is a beautiful invitation to discuss the intimate issues surrounding cancer that we tend to gloss over when there is the greatest value in being open and honest about the issues it raises, both for ourselves and our partners and families.

20. Michael I love your deep sensitivity and how you share this so delicately. This is quite some experience and it is amazing you were able to surrender as much as you could to the whole process. What you learnt about yourself and what you share is super inspiring.

21. “I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?” I love this and it is perfect for me at the moment as I clear my house of things that have been in it far too long. How could I live putting up with all of that stuff? And I have started a detox programme for my body that also has accumulated stuff that is inhibiting it from being free and feeling that sense of a blank canvas.

22. I was really struck by your statement, just accepting that who we are in our tender nature is more than enough, in fact we are enough just as we are.

    1. Yes, this is a beautiful realization, a letting go of the trying and surrender to what already is. A beautiful reminder on any day.

23. Speed bumps is an accurate analogy to use. When we meet them in real time do we not see them at all and hit them with a bump, ignore and drive over them at great speed, get annoyed because we have to slow down, or see them coming, give them a welcome, brake and gently roll over them. Each choice reflects how we are in life and with our bodies.

24. Michael it is such a lovely read, thank you for letting us into your heart and life. “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.”, and “taking on too much and blaming myself for incidents and situations that were really a result of other people’s choices.” I can really relate to this behaviour and the constant giving and taking responsibility for others without realising how much I am depleting my own body and placing unnecessary pressure on myself. Thank you Michael for sharing what’s truly going on in men’s lives, I can more easily understand what’s happening for women but it’s rare to have these insights for men.

25. When we make life about simplicity, self love and self care first, it is amazing how the need to keep ourselves constantly busy and doing to avoid connecting with ourselves can drop away.

26. We can also be observant to the many opportunities presented each day to heal, the way we walk, our posture, the food we eat, the quality of our voice when speaking. In connection with our body we heal as we move and this is felt by others.

27. I had to come back to this today, and once again it deeply moved me to feel the tenderness, the willingness to have that blank canvas without any perfection, but an understanding of what it offers both for you Michael and all you meet is deeply inspiring, thank you Michael. And today I take into my day, in order to heal we need to drop the masks starting with an awareness that we have them and being willing to let them go.

28. I am becoming aware to take each speed bump gently and that means learning to come back and deeply connect to myself. From making the choice to simply ask myself where I am at is supporting me to make the necessary changes.

29. Absolutely gorgeous Michael, that blank canvas you speak of, how it’s not about taking the past with you or filling it up, but about allowing space to reflect us. And your way of describing the bumps in the roads is so deeply understanding, ‘half the battle is to see these happening and call foul and start over, one step forward at a time’ … it takes all the need of perfection out and again if we embrace it takes us back to that open canvas again. There’s such a tenderness in how you write, that melts and offers all of us an understanding of how life can be lived without overload and with grace and tenderness. Thank you for sharing this with us all.

    1. “that blank canvas you speak of, how it’s not about taking the past with you or filling it up, but about allowing space to reflect us’ This is particularly important, taking the past with us can load the blank space with guilt, regret, blame. No, the blank space is precious used only to deeply connect to the present, feel where we are and understand more.

30. In conversation with someone who was elated that test results after a course of radiotherapy showed no more cancer in a particular area of the body, I reflected this ‘Be aware this is the start of your healing journey, not the end.”

    1. Very true Kehinde2012, the path of evolution in finding our way back to who we truly are is not about the end result but the journey taken…

    2. Indeed Kehinde. And what a beautiful gift of reflection you offered to that person, who now has an informed choice as to whether to choose a different path than the one they were on before the tumour disappeared, or not.

31. Thank you Michael you write with openness, honesty and tenderness. Your openness reflects of how deeply you opened up to your inner-most self. Blank canvas, says it all. So intent are we to fill life with busyness and doing good for others at the expense of ourselves, constant whirl of motion and to what end, usually serious illness. Love the way you saw purpose in the blank space and made full use of it.

    1. This is so true Kehinde “So intent are we to fill life with busyness and doing good for others at the expense of ourselves, constant whirl of motion and to what end, usually serious illness.” We have really lost a lot of balance as we don’t have the time for true rest, reflection, simply being, nor deep self care nowadays.

32. This is such a deeply touching and beautiful blog Michael. I love how you write about such serious things with such genuine lightness and playfulness and humour. And you can really feel the tenderness and vulnerability in your words that you are describing is a natural quality that all men possess but often find difficult to express.

33. This is beautiful Michael, not just because of the way it it written, but because I can feel the openness of you in every sentence, to learning, to letting go, to changing and creating a new normal.

34. Love your openness and willingness to surrender and learn from your prostate cancer Michael. Your cancer offered you time to explore what it means to be a gentle man, free from the roles and duty you took on from young to look after everyone but yourself, a great turnaround and a massive shift, thank you for sharing.

    1. Michael’s story shows the deeper healing on offer when a physical illness surfaces as it provides a stop, a chance to reflect and begin afresh in a more loving and self supportive way of living. It’s a chance to live more of our true selves beneath how we have allowed ourselves to be moulded to be.

35. “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs” – what an inspiration this must have been for the consultant to meet a patient who embraces a disease as healing and is committed to taking responsibility.

36. “I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?” We paint over splodges so no-one can see them but they are still there! I really get that you told your doctor you didn’t want to get back to normal but wanted a new normal. This is a forever deepening process of unpeeling and unpacking what our normal is so we can question what we want and don’t want on our canvas.

    1. Yes, this process of understanding that what we’ve accepted as our ‘normal’ might not actual be our body’s ‘normal’ is forever unfolding. Our body has a very clear natural rhythm that it would live quite harmoniously if we got ourselves out of the way and stopped overriding that natural rhythm, and this is what we’re learning to come back to and live from: our body’s lead, and not the mind’s.

37. Your blog shares that the healing is so much more than the physical. The Prostate cancer can be removed but it we don’t change the moments or the way of thinking we keep the risk factor and the potential in our body. It seems, as a human race we like things ‘fixed’ but are not quite so keen to be the change we want to see in our lives and in the world.

    1. “healing is so much more than the physical” so true Lucy. True healing is a whole body healing and touches emotions, thoughts and quality of relationship we have with ourselves. Unless these are uncovered and explored healing is superficial.

38. What you share here is so valuable, thank you Michael. The way you describe opening up to not only physically stopping but also taking the opportunity to re-assess how you live and relate with everyone, your expression and re-discovering depths of yourself that had been put to one side is truly inspiring.

39. I was listening to a conversation on the radio yesterday about prostate cancer with the statistic being that 1 man every 45 minutes dies from prostate cancer. That is a shocking statistic which I feel is not known by many. Many people (men and women calling in on behalf of men they know) called in to give their stories and say they by chance did a test for that which came back positive and that sometimes a person had no signs or symptoms of it at all they just were at the doctors and thought they would do a test. The question is this never used to be the case many years ago, the word cancer was so rare and now it is so common and there are so many different types. Your humility and grace can be felt in this blog and is absolute gold as is what you have shared here ‘My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art.’ When we truly make it about our livingness that is when our health changes. Although that is not to say that when we get an illness or dis-ease it is not a blessing because it is. It offers us a moment to stop, reflect and care for ourselves on a deeper level as you have found.

    1. Yes I agree Vicky and part of that deep care for ourselves is taking care of our bodies by making sure we get checked and tested regularly and pay attention to any symptoms we may be getting rather than ignoring them and carrying on. Even if we could support men to just connect more to their bodies and pay attention to them more and seek support more that would be a huge result!

40. It is incredible how we can identify ourselves with roles and ways of being that seem positive in life but when we do it without regard for ourselves we can get really ill from it. Just the idea that just being ourselves is enough is a lot for many to consider but it gives a beautiful space for living simply.

41. As women we are starting to talk a lot about the roles we take on and how we feel we need to be everything for everyone else, leaving crumbs for ourselves. It is fabulous to read about the pattern of going into the role of father and doing too much to look after the family. It seems the details may differ but both role taking has a harmful impact on the body.

42. Looking at life after a major illness or incident as a blank canvas is a beautiful way to approach life Michael, then every move, every choice is fresh, new way forward. The key is to keep our canvas blank so that every day we have the same opportunity.

43. When we live in a way where we carry out behaviours of doing for others without the love for self first (and this applies to both men and women) then no doubt there are going to be consequences. We have to realise and learn the connection between our daily choices and ill-health, meaning that every choice we make that is not in honour of who we are first leads to illness and disease.

44. I love coming back to read this blog, because there is always more to explore, to actually accept how deeply we need to rest after surgery is a great reminder of how much our body can heal when we surrender and honour the delicateness of our own being.

45. A beautifully raw sharing Michael – allowing me to feel the depths to which we are responsible for our bodies and they will show us when we are not being this. Men are generally good at not talking about what it feels like to be vulnerable – so just by opening up in the blog it is a beautiful reflection to other men. The start of your canvas.

    1. And a reflection from that canvas for all of us of what it feels like when you / we are open, raw and vulnerable.

46. It’s been a while since I have read this blog but I never tire of it. My father is one of those men that died with prostate cancer and not because of it – he died of another type of cancer, Leukemia. I suppose my point is that the men in my life have never been very good at going to the doctors and are masters at ignoring getting health checks and the like. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine my husband has upped his game in the health check department and no longer ignores getting things checked out, which as we know can lead to finding cancers that cannot be treated due to being diagnosed too late.

47. That canvas, the life we show to the world. Often painting it according to what and how everything outside of us says how to color in. This is confirming a question I asked myself earlier this morning – How do I feel from within my body to color life? Not what I think is expected.

48. How many people miss this golden opportunity of having a clean slate to start afresh? There was a famous football player that had a problem with alcohol and required a liver transplant and carried on to destroy the new liver by not changing the way he was living. He just made, as many do, made a pit-stop, fix and go.

49. We men, here in the UK have recently pulled to the front of statistics; more men die of prostate cancer than women with breast cancer. Could it be part of the problem that we avoid seeing doctors? How do our values and beliefs add to our illusion that we are indestructible? There are even some men that have stated they would rather die than have what they think is an invasive examination. Are we not cutting off our nose to spite our face? The PSA test is a simple blood test to catch the disease early! But, we, need to choose to have the test.

50. “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask” – a stunning sentence, and it really asks me of how committed I am, how willing I am to go there, to really have the canvas erased completely and start making choices anew with awareness.

51. A beautiful sharing of moving tenderly over the speed bumps of ‘life’.

52. “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.” Beautifully said Michael.

53. What is interesting about the process described here is how your relationship changed with your own body and health with an increased understanding and engagement. Involving looking at how your lifestyle and quality may have contributed to your health issues.Very inspiring Michael!

54. It is true that if healing were easy we would not learn much. There is so much to appreciate for the changed you have made Michael, and it is humbling to read your experience and what you have taken from this time.

55. This is so humbling to read Michael. In your vulnerability and tenderness there is the solid strength that holds us all, to go to this level of surrender as well.

56. A lot of people talk about “fighting cancer or battling cancer” which puts them into an energy of having to conquer something or overcome something. What I love about this article is that there is not a sense of having to battle anything, but more an invitation to surrender to the process and allow the healing to occurs from that place of deep acceptance.

57. My biggest take-away from re-reading your blog, Michael is that regardless of gender and illness, we optimise our physical healing only if and when we’re prepared to get completely naked, open and surrendered to being honest about the choices we have made that have contributed and led us to the illness or disease in the first place. Dropping the mask, the pretence, the self-denial is the first step. Being able to acknowledge our vulnerability is the second.

58. Thank you Michael, a lovely sharing, it’s so beautiful that you accepted your illness and decided to use it as the healing it is, a true inspiration for others who may be heading down the same road you went down, but now can be inspired to turn back.

59. “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.” Just this line alone is a medical revolution.

60. There is something incredibly beautiful about seeing each day as a blank canvas, not worrying about what has happened in the past and not fearing what is ahead of us but just allowing life to unfold before us like a rose petal.

    1. These are such deeply healing words that say so much about our instant needs to paint a picture of the future not stopping to appreciate the past and what we are living at present.

61. If we view illness as a mere complication to life we fail to appreciate the profoundness of our healing process.

62. Michael, I loved this part ‘I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?’ Because how often do we get an opportunity to have a blank canvas but hang onto what we believe is safe based on our previous experiences, if we hold back on our conversation we miss out on what could be on offer a deeper and meaningful exchange, all we need to do is to allow ourselves to be more open.

63. I can relate to what you have shared about the slow reveal of medical information. It is a gift that some practitioners have to know exactly when and how much to share with their clients. There is a lot to take in with a new diagnosis, reactions can come up and a masterful doctor will read and respond to all this.

64. Thank you for your raw yet honest account of how one is offered a new canvas piece to start imprinting the quality one can live if they choose to be all that they are. Very inspiring!

65. To feel that you are starting again with a blank canvas is such a gift to yourself and all those around you. We can never underestimate the power of illness and disease to bring true healing.

66. I’m so incredibly inspired by people’s stories on this site. Who would have thought one could find joy in illness? Story after story of people seeing illness on a deeper level, seeing it as an offering to deepen their lives and bring more love to their bodies. This story is an incredible tale of exactly that, thank you.

67. A stunningly honest account of your journey that appears to be blessing in disguise despite the unpleasantness and seriousness of the condition. If only everybody was this willing to appreciate the stop that comes with illness…embrace it… heal and then and see their life as a piece of art to create their masterpiece based on the lessons learned. Gorgeous.

68. This is a very moving and vulnerable story, I feel like I never really understood the reality of prostate cancer until this detail was gifted in this blog. It is quite beautiful to hear a man surrender to healing on every level, to the needed surgery and medication of course, along with a deep consideration of how to move forward in a new way that heals the issue from the inside out. We all know that the body talks, sometimes it speaks very loudly and other times it’s just a whisper, the positive thing about cancer is that it’s obvious and it gives you the chance to reimprint everything, it gives you a blank canvas to work with as you so eloquently state in this article.

69. Beautifully shared Michael – healing from illness is an opportunity to look at things differently – to see it as a marker we can learn from and appreciate what there is to let go of. What you share here is your vulnerability and your sensitivity as a man – letting down the guard and allowing others to support you just as much as you have supported them.

70. It is very beautiful to read about a man coming to his own blank canvas of life, where the choices made are from a deeper sense of self-care, self-love and appreciation. This is pure gold in every way and acts as an inspiration for all men and women alike as we each learn what it is to live from our own choices and the existence that this creates both for ourselves and for those we love.

71. I love the fact that when the consultant said “he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months” that you thanked him and said “I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal”. I have a feeling from reading what you wrote that it was your ‘normal’ way of living that resulted in your health issue. So many of us live many normals that we never question and then wonder why we get sick. I am sure you will now inspire others to examine the normals in their lives before they too are stopped in their tracks.

72. ‘I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.’ How much do we all need to look into our patterns and choices that lead us to being sick and on recovery make a ‘new normal’ by way of new choices? What if we got really honest and didn’t wait for an illness to make us look at our patterns and choices but made that our way of being? Could this be the best preventive medicine?

73. “I’d studiously ignored everything medical.” Haha, this made me giggle Michael… Much like I studiously ignored everything to do with Art and Poetry!

74. ‘I’d love to stop and chat but sorry I’m busy’ ‘it’d be great to see you sometime but you know my work is off the dial’ ‘I’d love to spend some time, just me and you but tonight I just have to work late’. These are just a few of my favourite things to say as I continue on in an endless addictive loop, of being ‘occupied’, of being stressed and too busy to connect. Your words here Michael inspire me to see my life doesn’t actually have to be this way. With a new choice I can enjoy feeling truth, love and space.

75. Michael, this is exquisite, deeply fragile, and so open and fragile – and this can only be written by a man who has chosen to connect deeply with himself and let his tenderness be who he is. Your canvas is clear, and a magnificent reflection to us all.

76. You have shared so many great points Michael, but for me today what stood out is that our first step on our path to truly heal is our openness to being honest with ourselves and how we are living, and being willing to surrender to the truth that our bodies reflect to us. As from here we can begin to discover the magic of who we are by letting go of the behaviours, emotions and choices that keep us caught in ill-momentums, instead allowing us to live more freely in connection to our essence, our Soul.

77. Such a beautiful sharing Michael, thank you so much. Your tenderness is very apparent and just gorgeous. It was very interesting too to hear a man admit to ‘…doing lots for everyone else without stopping or just being the tender man I am and feeling that was enough.’ This way of approaching life I thought was the preserve of women but it turns out men go down this path too. It seems we all have a lot to learn about how to be.

78. It is very common to read how people take on roles within their relationships, and rarely do we question the roles until something drastic happens or a physical ailment stops us in our tracks. Occasionally you read of someone who sees the stop for what it is and totally changes their outlook on life, and often they report that it is the best thing that could have happened to them. Then you have those who intended to change but fell back into their old ways of being.

79. Our health is a great leveler and when things go a bit off it is an opportunity to ask the big questions about how we live – some take this opportunity and some do not. I loved the way you have observed everything happening around and whilst it has been illness and disease that has brought you to this point, what many of us do not realise is that we all have a blank canvas in front of us – its our choice whether to see it this way or not.

80. Thank you Michael, your blog deeply touches me. Your full stop due to prostate cancer becomes a full stop for me now while reading you. I’m not ill at this moment, but I also have a blank canvas in front of me, the opportunity of learning and surrendering through this beautiful life.. Am I appreciating this enough?

81. If we know that what we are doing is not working, if we are clear that something is out of kilter, isn’t it for the best that we simply stop, and take a zoomed out view of our whole life? I love the way you describe this opportunity Michael as a rolling canvas. The truth is this doesn’t just cover this life but flows on to the next. What an artist God is and what beautiful visions we can help paint, when we see that we are here to return to making life about Love.

82. Very profound Michael, the blank canvas is not so blank as it might appear on the surface… not from what you’ve shared above anyway. To express all you have with the openness and honesty you have, already requires a connection to something very grand within, however little it might yet be lived in it’s fullness.

83. A beautiful and inspiring blog to come back to Michael. I just love what you expressed in the last sentence; what a divine living reflection on your canvas of life;
    “My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art”.

84. So many men experience prostate cancer but don’t have your understanding of what it means and just want to ‘get back to normal’. Your story is inspiring, Michael in that you show us there is another way, to take the lesson life is offering and to ‘deeply rest’.

85. It is interesting how there are these great stop moments and like you, we can all take these in hand and make the changes we see that need to be made – but then, slowly and eventually the old ways do start to creep back in, and the rush and the drive and the overbearing need for achievement starts to take over and then suddenly we are back at the doctors again. How does this happen? And why can we not sustain change, even when it feels so wonderful to be in our bodies with love and presence and care? I have been exploring this question a lot lately and am discovering that there is an art to consistency – that is, there is work to be done each and every day for the quality of life that we each want to live with, it simply will not happen on its own, we have to choose it again and again and again as this is a forever lasting choice that continues to present itself and quite simply when we do not choose it – the drive and push suddenly becomes our only other option. So in effect, we simply choose the drive through the default of not actively choosing to be in our bodies with love and presence and care.

86. ‘– it’s one thing going through it oneself – it’s quite another for one’s partner.’ I totally agree Michael it is easier for the patient than it is for their partner, and when we communicate with honesty and don’t hold back how each other is feeling, there is an understanding that can only be supportive because there is nothing that is not openly being shared.

87. In order to truly heal we need to let go of the past, but this cannot be done until first we have observed and understood in full, the steps we have walked that led to the dis-ease in the first place. Your account of your experience Michael is deeply healing for us all, prostate cancer or not, for it shows us it is never too late to reimprint the disregard we have walked, with all the love that we are. Totally inspiring, thank you.

88. Michael what you share is so immensely valuable and full of so many gems I am at a loss for words. This article is not only worth a read, but many reads and rereads. I will share it on my Facebook page 🙂

89. Each day, in fact each moment can be a new beginning where we start to make different choices about the way we want to live.

90. its interesting that we often post surgery need to be reminded to deeply rest and can feel a bit daunted by the concept- for so many of us, that is not our first ‘go to’ in recovering from an operation, its often more about how quickly can i get back into work.

91. In this whole blog never did I sense any blame, shame, hiding away or victimhood for having cancer. Such an approach, to see it as a wiping the slate clean and starting again fresh is a completely different way to how en mass the world views and relates to cancer.

92. “The consultant apologises for the ‘complications’; I say that I embrace all that has happened and don’t see my healing as punctuated by complication. The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.”
    I love how you have fully embraced the healing on offer – well done, it’s very inspiring, you accepted the help of a doctor for your healing, and I can tell with your verbal exchange you were also able to offer him a fresh perspective which he agreed with and could well be considered a healing too.

93. Michael I love your sharing because your blog actually covers so much, your willingness to understand and make changes to your life and how through those changes you have a blank canvas.

94. These big health events are real opportunities to make significant changes in life, and very well illustrated by your choice to put in place regular care and check-in points with medical checkups after you’d had a heart attack. How this simple choice then allowed the expansion and understanding that took place during the process of early detection and coming through prostate cancer.

95. It seemed like this was a true blessing as it gave you the opportunity to stop, let go and reflect. To take your foot off the accelerator and to start to deeply love and care for yourself in a way you have never done before. As others have shared the way you have written this so openly and transparent offers a healing for all and I particularly like this part ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask’. Also I just want to say it was an absolute pleasure travelling with you and your family a week ago, I felt I got to know more of who you truly are as a person which includes your absolute gentleness love and care for both yourself and others. This was very tangible felt and appreciated.

96. The clarity with which you write offers all who reads it a life changing opportunity. You are a great point of reflection in your grace and surrender.

97. What a great way to relate to illness and disease: a blank canvas that lets us re-imprint our lives with a deeper “reflection and a living commitment.” Very inspiring. Thank you Michael.

98. The choice of the blog title is very powerful Michael as the canvas can be splattered with many images that we have carried time and time again of how we should be. This healing was an opportunity to strip back so much that we all can invest in that leads us along a path that is far from our truth. To surrender and allow yourself to be tender are the new prints that are waiting to be placed on your canvas. A profound marking for others to feel and appreciated through your recovery.

99. This is a deeply inspiring blog Michael. Our bodies offering us a clean, blank canvas in the form of illness/disease is one thing, but to then truly embody this and take the time to honour it, rejuvenate and change the way we live to take greater care of ourselves in the long run is what can really transform our life.

100. Michael your magic and art has been felt in the depth of humbleness and wisdom your words carry. A truly remarkable sharing about what it is to truly heal, let go and surrender.

101. ‘I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?’ I love this, sometimes it seems hard to let go of things from the past but if they are going to inhibit the clarity of the moment they have no place in our lives. Old ways of being, as we recognise them and become aware of them need to be honestly appraised. I also love how you mention deep rest as part and parcel of your ongoing healing. Again it is all too easy to be drawn in to the business of the world without allowing our body the grace of an inner deep restfullness.

102. A beautiful sharing coming from deep within for us all to realise the power we hold in our own healing and the gift this is to ourselves and everyone alike. The tenderness and sensitivity that this illness has released is so deeply touching and the acknowledgement of this in all men innately is something very powerful and beautiful to feel.

103. Michael, I just love how you share regarding your illness ‘I embrace all that has happened and don’t see my healing as punctuated by complication.’ I cannot but wonder how different the health care system would be if all patients and their significant others viewed illness in this way?

104. It’s amazing to read how detached we can be from ourselves and what goes on in our own bodies. It’s like something picks and chooses deliberately how much we look at and how much is discarded. When I read articles like this I see that we are only willing to do what we need to, just get it over the line so we can get back to what we were doing. It’s like when there is a speed bump our first thought is how to get around it or to get over it quickly so we can keep going fast. We don’t look at the message, healing or blessing it brings deep enough. I see this in me the just get over the line and the wanting to keep things as they are parts but as this article brings we are becoming more and more unwell as men and people. What are we missing and not seeing? What articles like this bring are awareness, awareness to the fact that there is more to us, more to an illness like this, more to healing, more to everything than we currently see.

105. What a great example of how showing an interest in ones own health and becoming open “to finding out more about my health,” has huge positive implications, from the smallest of health issues to those that could prove to be life threatening or seriously debilitating. Very inspiring Michael, not only for men (with such high statistical chance of developing prostrate cancer), but for men, women and children alike.

106. This is deeply healing to read Michael and I don’t even have a prostate! The line that stands out for me is – “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask”. In these 8 words lays the wisdom of the entire Universe calling us to let go of all we have allowed to impose on our true self; the incredible, tender, precious, wise and loving being we all in-truth are.

107. I love the honesty and vulnerability you bring to this sharing Michael. “Don’t get me wrong but if the healing were easy I would learn nothing”. Illness and disease are moments of stop, where reality and our bodies force us to pay attention. It is deeply sad that it takes this, but sometimes it is the greatest gift we are offered. Reflecting on my life this is, without doubt, the case.

108. Thank you Michael, there is much to reflect on in your blog. I love the point that you are making here about healing and curing. Curing the prostate cancer is having the cancer removed but healing the cause of the cancer is a whole other thing. The fact that you know that the way that you had been living had affected your health is huge because so many people do not want to accept that the way that we live affects us. The moment we accept this, healing can begin because responsibility is taken for the fact that everything that we do matters and has a consequence.

109. I haven’t read this one in a while and as I come back to it I feel like I read it on a new level. I have been reading how one person’s healing is all our healing and one person’s disease is all our disease – no more illustrated than by your blog. As a society I feel we are so focused on what we do that who we are takes a back seat and allows space for our bodies to get so depleted that we get sick. Thank you for sharing and for bringing us all along with you.

110. I love what you shared about the way the doctor explained your diagnosis to you. The ‘slow reveal’ is an art form that some doctors have perfected. They know that this news is a lot to take in, so they keep it simple, keep the care and support up to the patient and deliver in small chunks, as the patient is ready to hear it. This, as you say is a very steadying and reassuring way to hear about your condition and treatment options.

111. Stops provided by the body are such a blessing. They are very definite and there is no wiggle room of, “I will just do this, then I will slow down.” It does allow us a moment to get off the treadmill of life that we have created, look back at it and see what makes sense and what would seem crazy to an onlooker.

112. “Afterwards it’s for me to stop not only physically but also deeply letting go and allowing others to do what I would previously, naturally and expectedly, have leapt up to do for them or with them or on their behalf.” – This is such a great point – the difference between physically stopping and then taking it to a deeper energetic level of actually letting go inside and allowing ourselves to re-balance completely – to not be running in excess motion inside even though we can’t necessarily move physically.

113. I too was diagnosed with prostate cancer and opted for surgery. In one way my life has improved, in that my diet is more healthy and I am more aware of what I had pre cancer. On the other hand I learned how important it was for me to be able to perform sexually, and how much my quality of life has suffered as a result of no longer being the man that I was. I am grateful to be alive, for sure. Humour helps, but I grieve for that which I and my partner have lost. Most men have no idea how good it is to have a prostate!!

114. It seems like there is a huge epidemic of push and drive and always being on the move or doing something, very little time taken to just be and appreciate what it is to have this body in the first place and then what a responsibility it is to look after it. The body has a huge capacity to look after itself but these rest periods are crucial to balance the overrun systems. Then learning to live without the tension which is well presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and appreciating ourselves, another valuable ingredient to the healing process especially when we have focussed on attending to the needs of others and taken on responsibilities that might not be truly ours.

     1. The push and drive is such a common factor in how we can run our lives that is built by a system of living that encourages more but offers less in quality. Thank you for sharing that when we get to the stage where we need to review and revisit the impact this has on our body there is the option to surrender and let time unfold and the healing to show us another way.

115. Thank you for sharing Michael, the deeply resting is a challenge for many who have been, and some who still are unwell, great that you are honouring this, ‘and gently cajole me to deeply rest’.

116. This is a very profound sharing and very detailed, which is appreciated. You share what true healing is! It likely resonates for many men as you raise multi layers of being a man and the roles being played but are they true.

117. Such deep appreciation felt Michael for your awareness and grace of being a man true to yourself and your body. You are clearning the way for all of us.

118. Thank you Michael, a very powerful example of what true healing can entail… very inspiring.

119. Beautiful sharing Michael. Your blank canvas has an imprint of love that is just asking you to join the dots.

120. Michael I love the way you have sensitively written and shared this blog for all, there is so much wisdom and it was very nice to read!

121. “And I realise that I’m having detailed conversations with my consultant surgeon about matters that I never would have talked about before – or indeed would not have been open to if I hadn’t spent time with Serge Benhayon learning who we truly are as men and how sensitive and tender we are, and from my fellow men and brothers inspired by the way that the Benhayon family live.” And, what a magnificent gift this realisation beholds.

122. I love your comment Michael of learning how to deeply rest and not getting caught up in the doing even though there are obviously things to be done and followed through on.

123. Thank you Michael, prostrate cancer is something that I am learning more and more about, as you say, more men die with it than of it. What a statistic. I love your comment “then gradually I climbed back on the express train” it is so easy to find ourselves right back there all too quickly after swearing to ourselves we will learn the lesson.

124. What an incredible story and one that firmly shows how we know if we are living in a way that is running us down and we can take the responsibility to make changes in our lives. These changes are not quick fixes but as you’ve shared new ways of being that can be deepened over time. The real trick that gets in the way is when we get pulled back into old patterns rather than stay with the fresh white canvas ahead and behind.

125. What you are reflecting here to all men is huge and greatly inspiring. Thank you Michael, there is wisdom for everyone throughout this blog.

126. If 1 in 2 people born after 1960 in the UK will be diagnosed with some form of cancer during their lifetime
     (http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/risk/lifetime-risk) what a huge change to the world your approach will bring Michael. When you say after your illnesses, that “I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.” this is key to bringing the changes that are needed for true healing.

127. This is beautiful, Michael, that as a man you were open and willing to go and see the doctor and explore what was going on with your health. So many men tend to deny that anything is going on, that there are issues to look into (it is common after all to hear boys growing up to “man up”, “not be a wuss” and they are taught to soldier on). But by sharing this blog on line and with such honesty, you give permission for other men to do likewise, and consider a visit to the GP after all. An inspiration well needed in our current world, given the increased incidence of all kinds of conditions and diseases.

128. Thank you for sharing Michael, it is a very inspiring blog and will share it with some members of my blood family.

129. It’s great to read your story again Michael, it gives a sense of appreciation of my health and not taking anything for granted, and also highlights to me the importance of getting health checks, if the car goes in the garage for a service each year then why not the body. It is such a set way of being us men have got into where we don’t ask for help or slow down, or look after ourselves as tenderly as we could, pride is such a strong and punishing thing we allow to rule us, yet being stubborn and not embracing our gentleness could well land us in a hospital bed or worse. It makes me feel that becoming more nurturing has to be worth it, as who wouldn’t want to experience a man who nurtures his own body and appreciates all he has been given.

130. Thankyou Michael for sharing your story. Reading the blog it hit me with full force the absolute destruction ideals and beliefs have on our body.

131. You are a legend Michael Nicholson. This is such a beautiful read and an inspiration for all men and women. To read about and witness from afar your increasingly graceful surrender to gentleness and understand of your self is absolute gold! Thank you.

132. I love your analogies in this blog Michael and the fact that you don’t want to go back to normal but allow a new normal to unfold towards you. You have learned much from this experience of illness.

133. I love this tender and loving account of a truly beautiful man and the story of his prostate cancer and what it has taught him, thank you.

134. “My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art”.
     What beautiful and divine magic you paint Michael, thank you for sharing your story of healing and self-love.

135. Wow, what a beautiful and tender account of your healing process Michael. Thank you for sharing it with depth, candour and honesty.

136. Michael, the fact that you have taken the time to write this article and share about the process you have been through is inspiring for men and women alike. All too often, even after we get sick, we want to get back to ‘normal’ so we can get on with life as it was before we got sick. But what is so important here and what you have pointed out is that it is because of how we were before that we got sick in the first place, so continue living that way will simply bring more problems. A great lesson for anyone, thank you.

137. I loved reading of your full embarkment of all that was/is before you. I would love to hear how you go embarking on your magic, your art….

138. The sobering aspect of this article is how, even after such an awakening as a heart attack, we can so easily, as Michael says, get back on the express train. Our bodies are constantly, relentlessly, giving us incredibly sage advice… And it is essential that we start tuning to this extraordinary flow of information, and to start to attend all the details in our life. Everything is important, and either contributes to the express train, or to the rebuilding of a body of true love.

     1. This is really well put Chris, the difference between living on the ‘express train’ and the ‘extraordinary flow of sage advice and information’ – very beautiful.

139. What you are sharing in your blog Michael is so inspirational and a must read for all men, I also thank you for the gentleness and tenderness that is felt in your writing it is a joy to re-read your blog.

140. The honesty and openess you write with here Michael would be of value to so many men especially as the incidence of prostate cancer is so high. It may also encourage others to pay attention to the messages the body is giving us all the time. The understanding you came to within yourself for developing this disease is inspiring – thank you.

141. The delicacy with which you write Michael is gorgeous. ‘Because that’s all part of it, that’s the preparation, the getting completely naked and open and surrendered. I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ I have found too that it is only when I get really honest, ‘drop the mask’ and feel what is there to be felt that profound insights can be had and the letting go can be done. You clearly see the cancer as the blessing it was, without which you may not have got to this beautiful acceptance and understanding.

142. ‘They say more men die with prostate cancer than of it, but not if it is growing fast’. I didn’t know this! You articulate beautifully why you got the cancer – “too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.” This simply goes to show the numbers of men in society who are doing the same thing, just as the many millions of women who get breast cancer for the same reason. To expose that we get desperately ill because of a cumulation of the same choices we make not to put self love, self nurture and self care first is incredibly important.

143. What a beautifully open and honest sharing, thank you Michael. I loved this line from your blog “it’s all down to my choices. It’s all down to my learning and my appreciation of me” because this understanding and sense of responsibility is what true healing is all about.

144. Thank you Michael for your openness and sharing such a beautiful blog. I agree we are always being looked after but it is up to us to allow and feel the support offered as it never goes away; it is us that chooses to ignore it.

145. Michael – as is the case in this day and age, I am coming to know more and more people, fathers of friends, colleagues, who have or have had prostate cancer. It’s no surprise given the surge in numbers. But here is what I love about what you share – you have been prepared to look at what happens after cancer. You are prepared to say ‘I have played the role of father and friend and colleague and giver and now it is about letting go’ – how many of us go through a massive procedure and return to old habits? When really true health is about looking at not only the symptoms, but how are we living to cause us to get those symptoms.

146. Thank you so much for sharing this Michael as I know very little about prostate cancer. I love that you now have a “new normal”. This new journey has a ripple down effect not only on you and your wife but everyone you come into contact with and that includes me !

147. Such a beautiful blog Michael, it is so beautiful to read about the healing you are going through, and it lets me see the importance of honouring being a true man, living in a way that is expressive, and allowing myself to be sensitive. Which I feel is the true power of men.

148. Rereading your blog Michael is such a blessing, I love what you have expressed and very much appreciate your wisdom, openness and honesty. Your blank canvas metaphor is wonderful and very inspiring, thank you.

149. I love what you share about your partner and the impact this has on her. Cancer affects not only the one who gets it, but all those around him/her just as much.

150. I found this a fascinating read Michael, not only because of the way prostate cancer has helped you redefine a new normal, but because I can see how supportive this will be to other men who may have similar symptoms. You have explained the medical side of what happened so clearly, that it helps demystify the whole topic.

151. It was great to really take time and let the messages soak in over this reading. Thank you Michael for sharing that this ‘blank canvas’ extends beyond healing into living every day. It is way of being with no investment in life yet full commitment and love. The love that comes through our bodies and our choice to connect is the key factor to support us to let go. There is great appreciation for embracing illness in this way.

152. Hmmm – I looked at the title of this blog and ignored it once – but thankfully I came back to it. It is beautiful to feel your openness Michael Nicholson, to the healing and learning that has come your way. Not only beautiful but inspiring – I am inspired to be ever more loving and nurturing of myself. Your ‘blank canvas’ conveys a sense of humbleness that is truly graceful. How lovely to begin every new day in such grace. I am grateful – thank you.

     1. Very well said richardmills363. There is a beautiful humbleness in this blog and it is my experience that people who have had cancer or any type of life-threatening illness often are humbled by it in a deeply positive way. Perhaps that is a key for us all, that we think we can do whatever we like to our bodies and get away with it and then when the body says ‘enough is enough, I now need to heal’ we have to let go of that arrogance. This is a very humbling and gracious experience and very, very healing.

        1. I agree Elizabeth, illness and disease show us that we are indestructible and that we cannot simply live in a way that does not take into account our body. Everything we do has consequences and every choice we make affects the quality we live with. But this can seem too much until such a time when we are faced with a life threatening illness. We can then have a massive wake up call which is great. But why wait until we have this moment, why do we need this stop? We can change the way we live now and not wait until we are almost forced to! It is great Michael has shared his experience as it brings to the fore the possibilities of the changes we can make now.

        2. Being humbled can feel painful at times but as you share here Elizabeth Dolan, it can also be ‘deeply positive’. With the truly loving – and deeply humble reflection of Serge Benhayon – I have come to know that humbleness much more as a state of openness, the absence of arrogance – a state that allows clarity of vision and access to deeper wisdom. Being humbled is a gift – if we choose to accept it as such.

153. Thank you for sharing your story Michael Nicholson and the detail. This is a very private subject for many and I know how difficult it was for a close relative who could not even talk about it and his wife was the one who informed others.
     What you have done by writing this blog is very supportive and I most certainly will be sending the link to those I know who would be interested.
     Your raw honesty is what has blown me away. I feel more men would benefit from expressing freely as you have done here. It is so needed right now in our world. Prostate cancer is on the rise and the more we have blogs of this kind, it offers a possibility of another way to live and well done for choosing that now.

154. ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ Michael I love this sentence as it reminds me of the awesome power of surrender.

155. So true Linda, it is truly liberating to communicate openly about what is going on, not only for oneself but for everyone involved. It makes all the difference and opens up for a true connection.

156. What an absolutely gorgeous and touching blog. I love your gentle humour and embracing of all that this experience has brought. I have seen the pattern you spoke of, changing for awhile after a big event like a heart attack but then gradually allowing old habits and ways to creep back in. The concept of a blank canvas is wonderful, allowing yourself to start afresh and not defend or covet anything from the past.

157. A cancer diagnosis is a big shock emotionally and of course physically, with the variety of treatments offered. However it also has a broader reach in that it affects our partners, children, parents and friends and colleagues. Seizing the opportunity to feel into the reason why we got cancer and then to address causation is so much more evolving than just trying to fix the symptom and return to a ‘normal life’.

     1. Well said sueq2012 – to see the cancer or any kind of illness as a stop moment and an opportunity to understand the underlying issue, offers a profound awareness about your own body and the condition it is in and this in turn offers a true healing.

     2. I could very much relate to what Michael shared about it being almost harder for the partners/carers of a person with cancer. I have often observed that they feel uncertain, wanting to do something but finding it is the person who must go through this. A great deal of understanding and support for the partners/carers is needed, to allow them to care for themselves and receive the healing they can also get from this huge life event.

        1. Yes, Fiona – I too know of someone who had prostate cancer and had surgery. I observed how it affected his family, and realised how greater understanding and counselling is needed for them also.

     3. I agree Sueq2012, cancer is far more reaching than just the person who has the disease, these days there seems very few people who haven’t been touched by it in some way or other, either by personal experience or a relative.

158. A lovely sharing Michael, and this is a great call, ‘ The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.’

     1. I feel it would be great if we all had a new normal! Starting afresh is like having the openness and wonder of a child but with the strength and empowerment of an adult. So much of the way we live would go out the door in a huge clean out – compromise, obligation, rush, to name a few.

     2. I loved this line also Lorraine, “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.” Each time I read it, it makes me smile… what we consider normal today is far from normal, we are in fact living abnormally to our true nature. And thanks to blogs like Michael’s we are getting to see just how abnormal our lives have become.

159. Michael, reading this blog has been a stop for me – a blessing. It’s one dis-ease I’m in fear of getting. The man’s reproductive area is very sensitive, and I have the awareness through Universal Medicine that a particular lifestyle of not holding back and fully expressing the deep sensitivity of my feelings physically as a man will support my body and me; and most importantly Michael as you say small steps is the key in a world that does not reflect this + appreciating each step you take towards your inner stillness of absolute physical delicateness and tenderness that is you. This is a man.

     1. Rik this is beautiful to read. I can feel the tenderness that you are expressing with. That is a true man, and worthy of celebration.

     2. It is lovely to read one man confirming the delicateness and tenderness of another. I felt very tender and sweet after reading this blog, it was a gentle healing for me and I am sure for all that have the fortune to read it. Thank you Michael.

     3. Very beautiful to read Rik, it is indeed a blessing to read this blog and feel the truth of being a man. We are not invincible and are very sensitive, not holding back this sensitivity is key.

160. Very inspiring enthusiasm and responsibility Michael “I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal”. Working in health I see many patients continue on in the same momentum and not surrendering to the healing on offer from their body. Their lack of awareness that being vulnerable and fragile, will support them to allow the body to heal. I also see many health services not provide the space and reflection for patients to heal. Michael here is offering a healing for all including they who read his blog.

     1. It is a sad reality when it is not understood that our bodies are fragile and we need to respect them as such so that they can heal.

        1. I agree Rebecca it is a sad reality, but the thing is there is not much understanding out there, people don’t understand the importance of their body, and how fragile it is. I know for many years I had no respect for my body, I saw it as it will function for me no matter what. It was only more recently I started to understand that the body has its limits and if we do not look after it, it will start to crumble.

     2. I have seen this numerous times also. In fact I have known cases where symptoms have resurfaced and are usually far far worse than the original case. The way we are living cannot be ignored as it caused it in the first place. So returning to live life the same as before simply makes no logical sense if having the symptoms again is in any way not desirable

     3. So true Rik, there are many health services that do not provide the space and reflection for patients to heal – on the contrary, they usually aim at fixing the illness as soon as possible, to get the patient back into ‘function’ again. However this does not support the patient to heal the root cause of the illness.

        1. This is true that services are aimed at being efficient and getting people back to function as soon as possible. However I feel we need to take responsibility for it being like that. We get the services and quality of care we energetically ask for. If we just want to be fixed, that is all we get. If we want to truly heal then this will be reflected in the services available

        2. Absolutely Fiona – this is how it is set up in the society, and we are all part of society so we certainly need to take responsibility for our contribution to the whole. We always have to look at the part we play.

        3. This is so true Eva. Returning to function is so often seen as the goal. Interestingly, when I talk with patients, they often express that they do not want to go back to ‘function’ but feel their illness has also been a call for deeper change within their lives.

        4. Yes Jane, I have clients saying the same and I often feel they are torn between what they feel obliged to do (get back into function asap) and that which they feel is true to themselves, and actually claim the space to allow this, rather than giving in to what they feel is being expected.

161. Wow Michael your openness and the way you surrendered to the healing process is inspirational! You have healed and taken full account. “I say that I embrace all that has happened and don’t see my healing as punctuated by complication”.

162. “Don’t get me wrong but if the healing were easy I would learn nothing”. The bigger the stop the more opportunity there is to surrender and change. Is it possible the smaller stops like cutting your finger or bumping your knee are as equally important? It’s the body’s way of showing you, ‘hey are you on the right path ..’

163. Michael it’s so healing for another man to read “too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me”. There is no doing just being! Something I’m learning more about every day – the natural rhythmic cycle of the body.

164. A line that’s gold “And by stopping, I suddenly realised that I had the most amazing blank canvas and I could work my magic on it in whatever way I truly chose to live”. There is nothing like a stop rendering naught all behaviors and choosing the body first. It’s simple by coming back surrendering physically to the innate qualities of being tender, delicate and sensitively honest – in essence you become your creation.

165. Love the openness, honesty and vulnerability you share here Michael. You are an inspiration to other men (and women) to express how we are truly feeling, to be open to the positivity of true change, and to receiving the gifts we are being offered from our bodies and from others.

166. A beautiful and powerful sharing Michael that offers so much healing on many levels. It is a gift, as is any illness or disease, if we are open to the healing that is being offered.

167. I listened in to a talk by an urologist yesterday on prostate cancer and it was very dry and boring. What a relief to read your blog Michael on prostate cancer and feel the loving way in which you speak about it. I can feel the healing that has occurred for you.

168. A real gift to those that read your blog Michael, men or women. So much lovingly shared information and as you mentioned speaking of your vulnerability and parts of the body that you previously did not mention, shows your willingness to share openly what others may need to know. A beautiful sharing.

169. “…doing lots for everyone else without stopping or just being the tender man I am and feeling that was enough. I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me…” A golden statement for all men in this golden blog Michael, offering the esoteric understanding of the root cause of prostate cancer. Thank you.

170. “But when I was seeing this large expanse of whiteness stretching out in front of me and gently day dreaming in my hospital bed I had the sense that I was being looked after and being protected, such that nothing or no-one could or would get in the way of my healing and future living. And thus I was being shown that I had put aside all the physical commitments and now it was time to live a different way, to live in a way that would be in brotherhood with all.”
     It is your total acceptance and deep surrender to condition Michael, that has allowed you to feel you are being looked after and being protected, the love and support is always there, but sometimes its only when we are unwell that we allow ourselves to feel it.

171. When illness knocks on our door, and says it’s time, time to stop, completely surrender and allow oneself to be deeply held in God’s huge love. if we understand and see this as the blessing it is, much evolution and learning is available, and we not only can heal in a more supported way, but also become more of who we truly are, and let go of all the things we thought we should be.

     1. What you say sounds good and I know it to be true nevertheless, I recognise a resistance to accept it in full, not the illness part but the surrender to God´s love. When I am only willing to stop and surrender when illness comes around how contracted and controlled do I live while I consider myself to be healthy? Obviously God not only holds me in his love when I am sick but all of the time. Am I willing to let him in every moment and live my life surrendered to his unconditional love?

172. What is important for us men to consider is that prostate cancer in most cases is allegedly straightforward to treat, but in many cases it’s not diagnosed early enough or at all. Apparently most of the men that die from prostate cancer could have been successfully treated had they gone in for a PSA blood test or a physical examination. I feel as men that there can be an attitude that we don’t want to know too much about what’s going on with our health, and if it’s not directly effecting us so badly that we can’t work or do what we want to, then we won’t seek the professional advice of a doctor. We also can have a belief as men that it’s a sign of weakness to go to another for help or advice.
     Personally I feel this attitude has a huge irresponsibility in it, because it not only affects ourselves when we become very sick, but also our partners and families, also placing a huge burden on the medical system. This is not a criticism or meant to be judgmental to any of us who have been unwell or injured, but more an expose of the ripple effect that happens, when we as a humanity don’t choose to look after our well-being.

173. “Getting prostate cancer is a big shock to the system, as all will know who’ve been through similar traumas and I was in a whirl. And here I feel even more for my wife – it’s one thing going through it oneself – it’s quite another for one’s partner. We discussed this at length with another couple, one of whom had breast cancer, and our experiences were similar. As the ones with the cancer we had something to do next, a sequence of planned events, a knowing of the next steps; whereas our partners felt all they had was uncertainty.” What you are bringing to our attention Michael is very important, on how illness or disease affects our partners, family’s and people we are close to, the uncertainty, waiting and unknown is very challenging, and in my experience sometimes to much for the relationship to hold resulting in separation, which in truth is showing that the commitment wasn’t maybe one hundred per cent before hand. As the person with the disease needs lots of care and support, so does the partner, as in this role of supporting another we can often feel that what we are going through emotionally is not important or we shouldn’t make a fuss as it is not us that is sick.

174. Thank you Michael for sharing your deeply intimate experience with prostrate cancer, as men we rarely or never speak about such matters, yet I feel unconsciously we can be concerned about getting prostrate cancer as the statistics are very high and more and more men are being diagnosed. For me personally it was very interesting and educational to hear in detail about the procedure Etc. I was very inspired with your attitude and approach towards what could be a very frightening experience, the way you have taken it deeper and looked deeply into the way you had been living, so to heal in a whole sense.

175. I deeply appreciate and was touched to my core by your blog Michael, it felt like you were writing on behalf of all in men in the world, exposing the roles we identify ourselves with, gaining recognition and approval from others, often at great detriment to ourselves and our bodies. You have shown there is another way we can choose, a way of honouring the tender men we are, not as weak or ineffectual, but as the deeply feeling, sensitive, powerful beings we are.

176. What comes through over and over again in this article is the strength of a man’s tenderness, not only for them but also in terms of the ripple effect it has on all those around them. It is the re-writing of the ‘rules’ that have so dominated and spoilt our interactions with each other. The sharing and showing of this tenderness is one of the many gifts men can offer humanity.

     1. When men discover the strength tenderness holds they will realize that whatever they have considered strength to be before wasn´t strength at all but a fake substitute crippling them and those around them.

177. Absolutely gorgeous Michael. To know that you alone are your own magic, your own art, is indeed, more than enough. Recently I too had some time in bed for over a week, where I had to surrender. It was deeply healing and I got to feel, like you have explained, how much of other people’s stuff I still take on and get involved in. What it showed me is truly how we are enough just as we are, even if we are ill in bed doing nothing.

178. ‘Afterwards it’s for me to stop not only physically but also deeply letting go and allowing others to do what I would previously, naturally and expectedly, have leapt up to do for them or with them or on their behalf.’ A great reflection there Michael – this change alone is ground breaking and deeply healing – well done.

     1. I agree Eva, and many could relate for all too often we identify our self by this ‘doing for others or on their behalf’ and to break this pattern is a healing for all.

179. What you have presented here Michael is very powerful, you are indeed a very tender, delicate loving and wise man.
     Many people will be inspired to start a new canvas by what you have offer Michael, I being one of them;
     “I find that I’m coming to terms with me and my body, and the scene is set for me to start work on this blank canvas of my life because I have felt the healing every inch of the way. I’m still learning the surrender and need to trust in this”.

180. I have realized over the years just how tender and delicate men truly are. You just have to look at the extremes a lot of men go to to avoid showing this side of themselves to the world. It is of no surprise that prostate cancer is so common in men. This is a touching and inspiring blog Michael. One that lots of men could relate to.

     1. I agree with you Kathleen, it’s only over the last three years or so that I have come to feel that men can be delicate and tender, and appreciate that about them.
        Growing up there was no evidence of this and if a guy was the slightest bit sensitive I really didn’t know what to do with them and would feel uncomfortable. So I would say that not only is it the men who have to re-discover that side to themselves but we as women also.

        1. Yes so true Julie and when I come to it I realise that men are a lot more sensitive in many ways than women, you just have to look at a man’s inability to handle anything emotional to know this to be true. Where on the other hand women often don’t realise the actual impact their emotional outbursts are having on those around them. . . sometimes we as women do not even clock that we are being emotional!

181. as men we could all learn from the delicateness Michael shares from here. We are not as robust as we like to pretend.

     1. Agreed Adam, this blog gives all men permission to surrender to their true tenderness and express in a way that is true to their essence, and not what has been imposed and expected of them. It takes a great deal of courage to do this in a world that is telling us what is normal is not normal. Super well done Michael you are an inspiration to us all.

        1. Yes I agree Adam and Laura. There is something so ultra, super warm and gorgeous when a man gives himself permission to go beneath the tough layers and begins to live from tenderness, embracing the delicateness that is naturally there. This melts mistrust in women and the hardness of being on guard and protective at some subtle level around men is no longer needed. The sexual innuendoes and undercurrents then have no place to separate men and women further.

182. I love the tenderness with which you share Michael. It was inspiring to read how you were able to surrender to the loving care of the hospital staff and open yourself to the huge healing you were being offered. ” My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment.” Beautiful words.

183. I love this Michael – our ‘canvas’ is already exquisite in its being-ness and natural essence. It gets well covered over with various hurts, emotions and self protective ways (paints) over the years and in the end we know it is the true canvas we have to return to to reflect the truth of the love we are in full – an ‘ah ha’ moment of the truth and simplicity offered here… this is the magic and the art.
     “My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art”.

184. It occurred while reading your blog Michael how our bodies are always bringing us back to a homeostasis and are designed to work in harmony. Therefore one perspective of the mask you mention is a determination not only to put on a pretence, but to also keep sabotaging that divine process of coming back to harmony – the different face of the mask.

185. The levels of vulnerability we have the opportunity to drop into when faced with illness and disease are there to support us start a new canvas. With paint strokes filled with more love and self care.

186. ‘ I can’t heal unless I drop the mask. ‘ How true is this Michael? Allowing ourselves the space and care to let go of all the protection and surrender back into ourselves is the first step to true healing.

187. It is a very vulnerable yet powerful state—the blank canvas, when an artist in life wants to show just how much he has painted and how colorful his canvas is, how sophiscated his brushstrokes and style are. Yet in this blank state, there is in truth everything.

188. There is always deeper we can go in connecting with ourselves, each other, the world in which we live and the way that we live in it. Michael, your illnesses feel like a calling to these deeper waters…and the deeper we go, the more stillness we uncover and in this stillness, all is revealed for the All that it is. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us so that we too can take the plunge we are forever called to take from the depth of our being into the clear waters beyond.

     1. Liane that is an important information you gave here – we can always go deeper with the connection to ourselves and with everyone around us. For me this was not always like that, as my belief was that I was in a deep connection and that was it. But to learn through reflection that I have the possibility to go deeper each day – opened up a new world for me. Now I can feel that I am forever expanding and deepening my and every other connection around me – there is no end in that, so to speak.

     2. A beautiful reminder of what is underneath illness Liane. Some years ago I remember going from a boat to swim in some very choppy waters – it was a beautiful surprise to discover how calm and still the ocean water was underneath when swimming down below this rough surface.
        “your illnesses feel like a calling to these deeper waters…and the deeper we go, the more stillness we uncover and in this stillness, all is revealed for the All that it is. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us so that we too can take the plunge we are forever called to take from the depth of our being into the clear waters beyond.

        1. I love what you have shared here, Stephanie ,Ester and Liane. It feels to me like discovering a stillness and when we allow ourselves to drop deeper, we discover more stillness within the stillness, it is like the stillness and its many levels is neverending. And Michael, I feel how you were dropping into a deeper stillness through the process of your illness, which feels so healing. Thank you.

     3. So profound and inspiring, Liane. The clear waters are always there…it is our choice whether we sit on the edge pretending we are happier out there on our own, or immerse ourselves fully so we are part of the whole, forever held.

189. I am am inspired by the absolute grace in you sharing “I say that I embrace all that has happened and don’t see my healing as punctuated by complication. The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.”

190. I work in health care and it is so beautiful to look after people who have surrendered to their own fragility and allow the healing to occur that their illness is presenting to them.

     1. I agree Elizabeth – I am also working in the health care area – if they surrender to their own fragility there is no resistance anymore and with that they are often also an inspiration for other patients.

        1. It it is true esterltmiks surrendering is the antidote to resistance, and commences true healing to the body

     2. Gorgeous Elizabeth, surrender is the missing ingredient that opens us to true healing if we choose not to resist.

     3. Gorgeous Elizabeth a true marriage between medicine and the patient – each doing their bit in the healing process – a powerful combination.

     4. Yes, and we know that feeling within ourselves when we surrender to our own fragility; whether that is allowing ourselves to be supported, being tender with ourselves in our movements or lovingly listening to what our bodies have to say – all transformative strengths.

191. This defining our worth by what we can do for others is definitely common amongst men and I know I still struggle with it sometimes. To learn to connect with our innate tenderness and care that we hold as men and to allow ourselves to be that and understand that when we bring that simply in our presence it is enough.

192. Such a powerfully honest blog Michael that every man should read. It is a great point that you make that there is a difference between physically stopping and letting go. Illness and disease asks us to do both but sometimes I know I have done the former for a time (because I have been forced to) but don’t always do the latter. The key to true healing or learning from any illness as you say is in the letting go. Letting go of things that have been revealed to us by our bodies that we are not.

     1. So true Andrew. The key for all of us is in the letting go.

     2. So true – letting go of expectations, outcomes, attachment to the physical body, perfection etc – the list could go on and on!
        Yet as we let go of these things, we let go of holding the body (and life!) to ransom and have the opportunity to listen to its innate wisdom and a deeper level of surrender is on offer to us to be with the illness and disease in an entirely different way.
        This is true healing.

     3. It’s the letting go part that I struggle with at times, thank you for highlighting this Andrew, in the times I have allowed myself to completely let go and surrender, great has been the healing and understanding of the ways I have been living which do not serve me anymore, in that moment I have a choice to let go of those behaviours, and make changes to my life, which is what the illness was clearly showing me needed to happen.

193. While the insights in this blog are truly profound, the implications are distressing for so many people who find it impossible to ‘let go’ of a harmful, invested way of living, without a serious disease process presenting the need for it in their lives.

     1. Simon the fact that the quality and way we feel everyday is down to our choices shows us that we are solely responsible for the quality of our life. However as you say, why is it that it takes life threatening conditions to stop most of us and it’s only then do we truly review the way we are living?

194. I love your description of a ‘blank canvas’ Michael. It is refreshing and exciting to be in a position where you have wiped the slate clean so to speak and are poised to make fresh choices that will determine your quality of life in the future.

     1. I also love this analogy. We are the canvas laid bare on which to paint the beauty of our love. Every mark matters for it is our every move that is marked by the quality of energy we have moved both in and with.

     2. And how awesome it is that we all have this opportunity every day to choose differently and bring more health, love and harmony into our lives.

195. This blog is a confirmation of the immense power in a man’s innate tenderness.

     1. So true Lucindag,you can really feel the power of Michael letting go of his identification with some of his roles he has had and the allowing to receive all the wonderful support that was around him.

     2. A power-full comment Lucinda…this blog does indeed turn society’s beliefs that men have to be ‘tough and strong’ and that ‘tenderness is a weakness’ on its head, and as you so eloquently express, confirms “the immense power” of the tenderness that is naturally within us all.

196. Michael the understanding and tenderness that you have shown yourself is very palpable, your openness to seeing your diagnosis as an opportunity to cut ill momentums and to truly heal your whole being is hugely inspirational. Many men would feel ashamed & soldier on through this experience, instead how beautiful to feel your appreciation for the grand potential of this offering.

     1. Very true ‘Lucindag’, for us men it can be very challenging to fully surrender when our bodies are ill or injured, feelings of worthlessness, despair or even depression can arise, as we base our lives on what we can do and achieve and the recognition we receive from that, rather than the truth of who we are, which is tender, gentle beings.

        1. Spot on Thomas…and this also happens for women too – focusing on “what we can do and achieve and the recognition we receive from that,” acting in mothering roles, career roles – whatever role we choose, rather than living “the truth of who we (all) are, which is tender, gentle beings.”

197. The challenges we face when we get sick or require surgery can really help us see and feel what is important in life and that too often we focus on the small incidental things and turn them into enormous issues. To go through it is huge for the body, not just the surgery but the anaesthetic as well. We can however really prepare for the this event and there is no doubt that a loving rhythm of self-care and nurturing will support the impact of this event.

198. You have acknowledged how traumatic it also is for ones wife and family when such diagnoses are made as they too now learn to come to terms with the uncertainty and,often, powerlessness. As you say you at least had something to do next. To be lovingly supported by so many is a reflection of how far you have come in supporting, and caring for yourself too Michael and this is to be celebrated.

     1. I love what you’re writing here Jeanette Macdonald. It is so supportive for everybody involved to discuss, support and be loving and caring with each other in situation where one family member (which can also be a friend, a school mate, a collegae) is suffering a disease or illness. Men often close themselves, feel ashamed and do not share what is actually going on for them on the inside. It’s absolutely inspiring to read how Michael and his loved ones are breaking this pattern of deep loneliness. That this may inspire many many men and women around the globe.

        1. It is such a shame that men have been made to feel they have to be tough and “suck it up” as the saying goes rather than be allowed to feel and accept and be open about their vulnerability. Illness is nothing to be ashamed about, it is not a failure. As Michael has shown it is an opportunity to connect more deeply to himself, to the reasons the disease developed and to the many people who are part of the passage of his process. I love his openness and honesty, it is an inspiration.

        2. That illness is not something to be ashamed of or that it is not a failure is something very important you touch on Jeanette. It is making me realise that I still have the belief running that if I’m sick or unwell that I’ve done something wrong. In some way I still saw it as some kind of punishment. I can also feel that there’s a choice to let this belief go, but that letting it go is somehow too scary. It would unlock the connection to my body on a deeper level I feel. I also feel a deeper acceptance of myself when I could stop worrying about my body and if it would stop functioning. To be very warm with myself is something I am learning now and when I choose so, it just feels so cosy and lovely.

199. What an absolutely invaluable sharing Michael! So many of these experiences are not openly talked about, and so it can remain such a mysterious thing and taboo subject for some, especially for men who tend to share less of such things. Hence reading your blog is a revelation and a healing – what you experienced, how you handled it and what you have learned from it will never be the exact same experience of another, however, every little detail from your blog offers the inspiration to another to know that there is a beautiful way to embrace what life offers in the form of a ‘correction’. For you to walk away from this experience with the understanding that you have and the changes that you have accepted is a healing worth sharing. Thank you Michael!

     1. Absolutely Henrietta, Michael’s experience will likely never be exactly the same as another but there is so much support in all the details and experience he shares along with the deeper understanding and outlook on life he has come to.

        1. Michael’s wisdom is felt in his words – and comes through because of his honesty and openness and humbleness in sharing his experience. It is there for us all to learn and heal from. What a blessing he is and brings to us.

        2. Agreed Fiona, Michael’s sharing and the many others on these blog pages are deeply supportive for so many people. Reminding us that there is another way.

     2. I agree Henrietta. Prostate cancer remains quite a ‘taboo’ topic, and in my opinion is MUCH less talked about than breast cancer for women. Michael offers a priceless and revelatory insight into what prostate cancer is, the journey of having it and what possible lifestyle choices could have contributed. It’s touching to hear a man talk so openly about this and with such understanding and grace.

        1. I agree Susie, in that we don’t seem to hear much about prostate cancer at all. Having said that I don’t think we hear a lot about all the illnesses and dis-eases, their statistics and how much they are increasing. This should be something we are aware of and discussing much much more. What Michael has brought here is priceless in how he embraced it, got the proper treatment but most importantly looked at where he needed to make changes in his life and where he could be supported with Esoteric Practitioners. The missing link that we need to look at is our choices and how we live affects our health.

        2. Spot on Suzie – I have family members who have had prostate cancer and when this was first shared with me, it was almost whispered, as if something to be embarrassed about. It is so important that we make a safe space for people to express what needs to be expressed and to feel supported with it. Michael’s blog is paving the way and showing others that it is ok to share and in the process gives permission to man other men to do likewise. This in itself is a healing, prostate cancer or no prostate cancer, and regardless of being a man or a woman.

        3. Susie I agree prostate cancer is not something which is talked about. I have come to know a few people who had prostate cancer after the fact. They shared they did not mention it at the time, as it’s not an area they feel comfortable to talk about, more so they are embarrassed and still in shock they had it.

        4. It is a shame we don’t talk about these things enough – that prostate cancer is so apparent in men these days and yet we just turn a blind eye. Why is it that we are so reluctant to crack the picture of the man who is strong and a provider and able to push through? Isn’t it so that the more we as people push and ignore and numb, the more we get sick and tired and ill? Is it coincidence that the more we shut down as people, the sicker we get? Everything that happens to us we can learn from. This blog is a great sharing for all men to see that it does not have to get to cancer to start to open up.

        5. Yes, Michael offers a true scientific study into the treatment of prostate cancer, it may not be a double wish bone whatever, but what is presented here is revelatory and there is much to be learnt from his sharing.

     3. There is such value and inspiration in this blog from Michael. Not only breaking down the silence of taboo subjects such as prostate cancer, but in his openness and humbleness to look at the whole picture and his choices.

        1. Spot on Jenny – and it is this openness and humbleness that offers the healing for the one writing as well as the one reading it.

     4. A beautiful understanding Henrietta. Yes Michael you offer us all inspiration by expressing your deep care and choices in this experience.

     5. Thank you, Henrietta, for celebrating the enormous impact of Michael’s open-ness about his experiences, particularly here, the diagnosis of prostate cancer. As you say, simply in his willingness to share, he has opened the door wide for any man who has experienced this, or who simply feels that the ‘shoulders braced, soldiering on’ approach is not it.

        1. Well said Matilda – as people, we do tend to go into the ‘shouldering and soldiering on’, rather than reaching out for support and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Michael’s sharing is gold as it does give permission to all men to experience things differently.

        2. Honesty and openness are the doorway to intimacy, the intimacy of sharing all of who you are with another in full. This is the beginnings of brotherhood and all that it brings.

     6. Very true Henrietta, Michael’s personal intimate account of his experience , is very healing for us all even though our experiences and circumstance in life may differ from his. It is a huge blessing and benediction to open up and share theses intimate situations, particularly for us men.

        1. Men are very sensitive people but unfortunately our society has lost the ability to see it as such. Michael revives this and brings it back with his blog especially with the level of honesty and openness that he shares his experience with. So Thomas you are spot on in saying that this is a huge blessing especially for men, but for all of us too.

200. What a powerful journey Michael, of self-discovery through which you have clearly chosen to reclaim your wisdom and deep tenderness as a man. Your willingness to be honest and open at every point, to ‘drop the mask’ and allow yourself to be guided by your truth is inspirational and reflects the power of true healing. I love how you have expressed that ‘The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next.’ – as this beautifully explains how in every moment we have the opportunity to surrender to the quality of love and truth through which we are offered choices that supports us and as such leads us to the quality of the next moment, and the next. With this it is our livingness then becomes the art, the magic that is reflected and made visible for all to see and be inspired by.

201. Thank you for sharing so openly Michael, your tenderness shines through your words. I could feel how supported you have been throughout the process and to allow this for yourself is a great healing in itself – enjoy the ‘new normal’ you have begun.

     1. I love Michael’s powerful response here – ‘I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.’ This highlights our power when we surrender to love, to then naturally make self-loving choices that supports us to live with the tenderness we truly are, as this is our true normal.

        1. Yes, that new normal is so much better, once we grasp, accept and live the opportunity of this new normal.

        2. Yes Carola I love the way that you express it here – living with the tenderness is so key

        3. Yes this was a powerful statement in this blog because so much of medicine is currently set up to get people back to ‘normal’ i.e. back to the life they previously had or were doing before they became unwell. The patient demands that they get their life back the way it was and the medical professionals pride themselves on doing so or feel a failure when they don’t. But this completely misses the point of illness and disease in my opinion as its very presence is there to tell us that something has to change about the way we are living.

        4. Great point Andrew and so true. As the purpose of the early signs of dis-ease is to alert us that the body needs to be restored to harmony. The more we pay attention to our bodies the more we become aware of this natural process, through which we can establish a way of living that supports our health and well-being.

     2. I agree Shelley…the power of ‘the stop’ your body offered you Michael can be strongly felt – from the shock of diagnosis to the profound effect of change you chose as a result.

202. What is wonderful about the way you have been with this life threatening disease and surgery, is your coming to terms with you and your body. You have seized the opportunity to take life, from this point forward as a blank canvas, upon which you paint with every stroke a new awareness and a different choice. What a rich picture you paint Michael.

203. “And of course I wake up to find that I have a catheter coming out of my penis, so it begs the question as to how it got there in the first place.” This is such an important question. The answer lies in the life choices we make that have lead to such scenarios and your blog, Michael, is a powerful wake-up call to us all, which does not ask for sympathy but expresses the truth for what it is with great love, humility and tenderness.

     1. It certainly is a humbling experience to wake up with a catheter! Or also to be awake when one is inserted as I have experienced! No one can hold onto their arrogance at such a point. We get to realise how vulnerable we are and the beauty in being treated with love and respect and deep warmth and care, something we all deserve every day and all deserve to treat each other with.

        1. Hello Henrietta and that is a little too much information I think, I’m kidding but reading it does make me cringe a little and cross my legs. We do tend to leave this until the last minute when it becomes so urgent that we are forced to look at something. Michael’s wake up call still won’t wake us from a collective slumber we have been in for far too long. Unfortunately it would seem until things not only knock on our door but at times knock the door and half the house down do we listen. This is a powerful message, made more powerful from what we choose to do with it.

        2. This collective slumber you talk about is a strong force and can take a bit to shake off. Because of this, the intensity of wake up is increasing – hence the need to knock the house down rather than just knock on the door (in other words there is an increase in intensity of illness and disease in order to get our attention as we ignore the little signs that lead up to it)! But as you have said, the choice is in our hands – and this bit of awareness put into action is the actual game changer, should we choose to act on it.

        3. Good point! How far did we let things go in our life that our vulnerability has to be reflected in that strength? Seems like we get nearly forced by our body to treat ourselves with ‘love and respect and deep warmth and care, something we all deserve every day and all deserve to treat each other with’. And we choose so often to go into suffer instead… To truly listen to our bodies and to care for us is time to establish. How lovely to get support here by Universal Medicine.

        4. Universal Medicine has been presenting the basics of self care and self love for almost 10 years now. And though it is so simple, it does form the basis, the foundation of everything in life for us as human beings. If we all collectively brought more focus to this, then how much would the world change? There is much here to appreciate of our own capacity as reminded by Universal Medicine time and time again! I say thank you to UM, and appreciate you, Sandra, bringing this up.

204. Michael, I love the tenderness and a deep understanding of yourself and the healing process in this blog. It is not an article full of emotional reactions but one that offers an opportunity of true healing to others. You have understood the cancer and even the complications as opportunities to stop, let go of the fast train and surrender to being you. Surrendering to being me is something that I feel I am just beginning to touch on, the understanding that I do no need to be anything and that I am enough already. It’s beautiful to read your loving relationship with re-learning this through all that has been presented to you and it is a timely read for me Michael, to open up to allowing myself to surrender and just be, without all the doing and trying.

     1. Surrendering and just being felt like an alien concept initially but slowly as I re-connect to who I truly am it feels more and more the ‘way’. This blog is a reminder that in every moment we are offered a clear template on which to unfold the truth of who we truly are.

        1. ch1956, this line is just beautiful. “This blog is a reminder that in every moment we are offered a clear template on which to unfold the truth of who we truly are.” This is the choice and power we are constantly being offered. Thank you.

        2. ‘I am enough already’ – the realisation of this truth is just so very healing in itself. No matter how many times I hear it said, my body always lets out a grand sigh in acknowledgment. ‘Ahhhh, yes’.

205. Michael – as you so beautifully say ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’
     This is true for so many of us; we think by focusing on something else, being busy, avoiding dealing with something will allow us to ‘move on’ – but we never truly can unless we take responsibility and face our choices up until now. Dropping the mask is not an overnight fix, it is a process of being honest with ourselves, of being totally vulnerable, and choosing to be all of who we are all of the time. No acts, no inconsistency, but a responsibility to reflect our raw and open selves to the world.

     1. Yes the word I got when I read Michaels’ blog was vulnerability. A serious illness or disease asks us to be more vulnerable – it exposes us physically, emotionally and spiritually. We have to rely on others rather than being the invincible man flying solo. We have to be more honest, more real, more raw, more accountable and more responsible in how we are choosing to live.

        1. The vulnerability of being open. An excellent type of vulnerability.

        2. This is so true andrewmooney26, an illness does force us to be more vulnerable. It also forces us to open up to support, rather than trying to do it All ourselves.

        3. And to me – being vulnerable is a big part of healing. To be faced with an illness is one thing, but to then be open in what that means, why it has come about, what it is there to clear – takes vulnerability. And this helps to face the illness and learn from it too.

        4. This is very true hvmorden and if we do not add the vital ingredient of vulnerability to the mix, then we may miss the full healing that is being offered through illness and disease.

        5. Great point you make here Andrew. I’ve definitely experienced this myself and seen it in others, but the key and challenge is to remain open to the vulnerability once the illness or injury has past and accept the difference that it brought.

        6. Absolutely Andrew, as men we can be very self sufficient in an unhealthy way, trying to do everything ourselves, and not asking for help, this feels very deeply ingrained for many of us, in this way of living we stay closed and protected, existing like separate islands not reaching out to others and showing our tender vulnerable true selves.

        7. Well said Thomas and I can definitely relate to what you have added here.

        8. Great point Matthew, that it is so important to accept in full the new level of vulnerability or sensitivity or awareness that an illness can bring as our new normal, and continue to live in this way even after the illness has passed (if it passes). We can get rid of symptoms, but true healing only happens if we change the way we live after the illness.

        9. Beautifully and honestly said Andrew. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the beginning of the healing process, and something we all have to learn when we need the support. But with it comes an openness and loving quality that allows realtionships to deepen, from both those who need the support and those who are the supporters. Michael’s sharing is a wonderful example of this and deeply inspiring.

        10. I like what you said here Thomas, ‘self sufficient in an unhealthy way’. This is a golden statement about the culture of men’s behaviours. The tough outer layer of protection can be such a barrier to asking for the simplest of things.

        11. What you share here Thomas, is true for women also, I can definitely relate, ‘we can be very self sufficient in an unhealthy way, trying to do everything ourselves, and not asking for help, this feels very deeply ingrained for many of us, in this way of living we stay closed and protected, existing like separate islands not reaching out to others and showing our tender vulnerable true selves.’ I too am learning and choosing to let go of this unhealthy way of living.

        12. This is true an illness does allow us to let go of the being in control and open up to being vulnerable and let others in to support. This brings a greater level of honesty and responsibility.

        13. I feel the vulnerability offers us the opportunity to change how we live because it opens us up to more of who we truly are. And this is very beautiful.

     2. Beautifully said hvmorden. Our job here is to remove the false mask that we wear that has come to obscure the exquisite beauty of our true being. By letting our love out, we allow others to see the treasure we hold deep within so that they too can choose to light the world with love undiluted.

     3. Dropping the mask indeed is a proces of being honest with ourselves and allowing our fragility to be. It is a most beautiful proces which started out with many moments of anxiousness but is now mostly a proces of true empowerment.

        1. True Katinka, this does start with moments of anxiousness because we are not used to being vulnerable. We get comfortable with masks, with roles, with not being who we are. So to peel all that away isn’t roses at the beginning. But as you say, it does become an empowering and confirming way of being as we confirm more and more the wisdom of our bodies. And it starts with a single choice.

206. “And by stopping, I suddenly realised that I had the most amazing blank canvas and I could work my magic on it in whatever way I truly chose to live.”
     We can stop and have this ‘blank canvas’ at any time, but often it does take us to the point of illness or disease to allow this to happen. A blank canvas does not mean we need to stop doing everything we are doing completely, but more allowing ourselves to come back to basics and build our foundation from that of absolute love and honouring of where our body and life is truly at. This takes honesty and a willingness to let things be – letting go of ideals, beliefs and pictures of how we thought our life needed to be.

     1. Beautifully said Amelia – I agree. It is the quality in which we stop that is of great importance to be aware of, as at this point much can be revealed. ‘This takes honesty and a willingness to let things be’ – as it is this that leads us to the truth through which the art of being ourselves then truly comes to life.

207. Michael, I love the honesty of this blog, with not a mask in sight. As you say, there is no point returning to what was the accepted normal – it is what led to being ill in the first place! Enjoy your ‘new normal’ way of being as you paint your own magic on your blank canvas.
     “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs”.

208. It is so important for men to share on their way of being with themselves, their health, their roles as man, their illnesses… Prostate cancer is one very specific male disease and equally unique in its emotional, behavioural and energetic cause that you reveal here openly. As amazing as western medicine is in dealing with conditions like prostate cancer, it is not their field of expertise yet to help men worldwide to understand what leads to this condition in the first place. But only when we really understand how much our lifestyle, the roles we take on, the ideals we try to live up to, the reluctance to share and express what we feel etc., contributes to our state of health and wellbeing, we can begin to initiate true change. Your article initiates such change.

209. “I find that I’m coming to terms with me and my body, and the scene is set for me to start work on this blank canvas of my life because I have felt the healing every inch of the way. I’m still learning the surrender and need to trust in this.” Surrendering to my body – and really listening – is something I too am now learning big time after an op to remove cancer. The danger is when we start to ‘feel better’ and it can be so easy to get back to ‘normal’ – more vigilance needed!

210. “I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And (the specialist) concurs.” Michael, what a beautiful teaching by you.

211. I love how you have a refreshing attitude towards your health Michael, it is like you accept the healing and know that it is how you have lived that has caused the illness and now is a the time for your body to clear. Every procedure, consultation, and development has profound meaning, this is holistic medicine, this is good medicine, this is Universal Medicine.

     1. Gorgeous comment Bernard and so very true. ‘Every procedure, consultation, and development has profound meaning, this is holistic medicine, this is good medicine, this is Universal Medicine.’ – beautifully said. There is much wisdom shared though the way Michael has surrendered to love, through acceptance has a chosen to heal all that is not love and so moves to the next step with a far more loving foundation. What a beautiful way to live, accessible to all. Very inspiring.

212. Accepting we need to allow a whole new ‘normal’ or way of being can certainly be challenging. Thank you Michael for expressing so openly about your experience with this time for you – there is much to be learned from here.

213. What a beautiful and heart felt blog Michael and your sharing is an inspiration for everyone with, or without the disease. You have made me stop and consider my choices and how I am with myself in greater depth. Thank you for your sharing. Your tenderness and sensitivity comes right through your words.

214. This is a truly inspiring blog Michael, very supportive to all. Thank you for sharing your tenderness, honesty and wisdom.

215. One of the most beautiful blogs I have read Jonathan, your heart speaking to mine. Your story has also provided a bit stop moment for me, I know that pattern also of feeling I am not enough and driving my body beyond what it can do, ignoring my own needs for the needs of other, and not listening to how my body feels. A very humbling story you have shared which has deeply touched me, and will inspire more change in my way of living. Thankyou.

216. I appreciate all you have shared here Michael, but I particularly appreciate this ‘I very much took on the providing role of the father for family, friends, colleagues and employees, doing lots for everyone else without stopping or just being the tender man I am and feeling that was enough.’ What came to mind was although we know about many ‘roles’ a woman can play .. partner, mother, colleague etc do we forget about the many things men do and how they support others? I didn’t think I did until I read this and then saw an imbalanced belief I was carrying. We all deserve to take deep care of ourselves and truly nurture. And more importantly it is to know we all are enough.

     1. Beautifully said Vicky. As women, we are often quite aware of the roles we take on, but do we truly see the enormous societal pressures and expectations that are placed upon men – that keep them equally from being all that they are?
        Michael’s sharing is deeply valuable for opening up such doors of understanding for all men and women, that we can truly step out of playing roles in ways that simply do not serve us at all, and offer deep understanding and love to each other in the process of doing so.

     2. Often we are not even aware of the roles we put on ourselves or others, we take them for granted or even idealize them so that nothing comes to mind to question them. To know oneself free of any roles takes quite some work.

217. Your deep tenderness is so evident in this blog, Michael, and the way you approached your diagnosis and healing really flips the standard fear, victim and helplessness model on its head. While reading this, it seems obvious that you looked at this disease as a gift to make the changes that you needed to in order to appreciate yourself more fully, and get your foot off the gas pedal that perhaps lead to acquiring the prostate cancer. If more people would approach illness and disease in this way, we could cut down dramatically on the typical pattern of re-occurances of cancer and other ailments. What a gift you were to the medical team helping you too, as they got to see another way to handle this type of situation.

218. Beautiful experience and a deeply poignant sharing. It rewound memories for me when my Dad was suffering with his fatal disease and I wish that he had what we all have today as Men, thanks to Serge.
     Thank you Michael for bringing amazing reflection through this, and the grace with which you allow it all..It’s a learning for me!

219. Getting prostate cancer is a massive shock Michael, absolutely. Any illness like this also affects the whole family so it is more than one person that it affects. Much can be learned from these experiences, especially if we are willing, like you are Michael, to get to the bottom of how and why, understanding the patterns and choices as it offers the whole family the opportunity to heal what an illness brings up.

     1. So true Matthew, an illness like this impacts not just the whole family, but a person’s entire circle of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. And so does the choice to heal in this way. Nobody is left untouched by such a choice as Michael has described for himself.

        1. Yes Jenny, true grace is offered to everyone that is connected to Michael and his family. How beautiful is that, one man choosing to deeply heal, offers the entire circle around him to heal as well.

        2. Yes Katinka, like a pebble dropped into a pond… the effect is felt far and wide. If we could clearly see the real and full impact of all our choices, l’m sure we would take more responsibility for the quality of those choices too.

220. There is so much to re-quote and affirm that has been shared in this blog. But for now, these words are the stand-out for me: “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.”
     To realise and deeply connect with the fact that we are not just ‘enough’, but plentifully, abundantly ‘enough’ – just by being ourselves, is a truth the world is screaming for. That your experience has brought you to this Michael, is profound and deeply touching. Thank-you for sharing so openly.

     1. It is hugely powerful that this is what Michael has connected to in his experience with cancer. So many, including myself, can relate to this feeling of ‘doing’ and never being enough despite the amount of ‘doing’. Having a moment like this to stop is much needed often, as the otherwise momentum we can find ourselves in can do great harm to us and others.

        1. Well said, and honestly shared Amelia. I find myself today ‘doing’ more than I ever did – but have to be very aware of the way I go about this, and what may drive me to do so. It’s a constant learning, re-assessing, listening to my body… most definitely not perfect, but as Michael’s and so many others’ stories attest to, we simply can’t honour ourselves enough in our willingness to remain in touch with where we take on too much, and push things too far…
           And to what end? To please everyone around us, and/or prove we are worthy/capable and the rest? Truly knowing that we are ‘enough’ simply as we are is pure gold that should never be forsaken in order to live up to a marker set by our own need or outer expectations.

        2. Yes I can certainly relate to what you are sharing Amelia. This morning I wanted to have a big clear out and found that I wanted to push on when my body was asking for a break. As a result my left shoulder is in tension at the drive and whilst it feels good to have got the job done – there has been a price to pay in my body.

        3. I certainly can Amelia, even as I write this comment I can feel myself going into doing and not being. I feel as if I am only just beginning to grasp that it may be possible to live in a way where I can drop the protection and allow myself to be me and that perhaps I am enough or even ‘plentifully, abundantly enough’ as Victoria has said, just for being me. It then makes sense just how powerful this is when we reflect this way to others to give them the opportunity that they too can let go of their guard and allow themselves just to be who they naturally and beautifully are.

        4. Just another sharing, Amelia. There were times over the last few years when I felt like I would positively welcome something that would put me in hospital / in bed for a few days just so that I could stop and let go and rest and not have to be doing stuff . I hadn’t scheduled prostate cancer but it’s an interesting reflection that this is where my body took me to.

221. Michael, your words of the deepest sensitivity, honesty and amazing ability to meet all that this experience has brought to you, deserve to be shared far and wide. They have brought tears… tears that such challenges can be met and responded to with such tender beauty of heart, from a man I already know to be so very heart-full.
     Thank-you.

222. Amazing to consider that more men die with prostate cancer, than from prostate cancer. Some consider this to mean that the disease is not as critical as other forms of cancer, but I like to think that it highlights the lack of awareness most men have around their bodies, for even where men develop prostate cancer, but die without knowing they had it, often they end up living with other issues, such as reduced bladder function, but never stop to consider that there is perhaps something greater going on. They just get on with it.

     1. Exposing our approach to so many of the signs our bodies give us… ‘just get on with it’, until it actually stops us from doing so, seems to be the mantra of our age.
        Hence the deep value of blogs & conversations such as this, that we actually question the validity of such an approach, and whether it truly does serve us (and everyone around us), or not.

        1. And by ‘just going on with it’ we support this ‘it’, what brought us there in the first place. And so, step by step, we dig a hole for oneself by ignoring our body messages.

     2. That is very true Adam, before, during and after illness we have the approach to “just get on with it.” We even celebrate this stoic-ness. But it does not offer us an opportunity to stop and feel where we are going, how we got to where we are, or what to do about it. There are no opportunities for new awareness, self healing, or change when we “just get on with it.”

223. Thank you for openly and honestly sharing your journey through cancer, Michael, but more importantly, it was a joy to read the awareness you reached in your life: “too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.” This is an inspiration for everyone, ~ being you is exactly what others and the world wants and loves.

     1. Yes nathaliesterk, we have a world that is entirely set up to recognise and reward doing and achievement. We do not yet value the spark and essence of who someone is as everything… at least not once they pass age 2 or 3!!

224. What a different approach to healing: “the consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.” Usually it is such a relief for people to find out that they will be ‘back to normal’, and back to their normal routine but what is needed is true change to prevent something else having to happen in the future and to improve your quality of life, which you have done.

     1. Very true Jessica, but when we don’t accept our own responsibility in the illness we have developed, we don’t realise that our bodies are making us stop and that we are asked us to change our ways.

        1. True Katinka: and something that I’ve heard before is if you don’t hear your body whispering to you, it will just have to get louder and louder

225. I love the term a new normal, any diagnosis gives us the chance to reflect on the choices we have made and the ones yet to make.

226. Wow, thank you for sharing Michael – I love your honesty and openness. This stood out for me; ‘The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.’ I would say that a 21st century Doctor’s number one priority with patients is to send them home as ‘back to normal’ as they possibly can; the medical system celebrates patients who return to ‘usual’ life and the ones who change physically or psychologically are carefully watched in case something has ‘gone wrong’. Isn’t it interesting that this return to ‘normal life’ may be what causes so many re-turning illnesses, because they are indeed related to our behaviour and relationship with our body.

     1. I couldn’t agree more Susie – I picked up on the same quote as this is so out of the norm, when it shouldn’t be

     2. You make a valid point here Susie. “Getting back to normal as soon as we can” is similar to “Fighting cancer or any other disease”. When we fall ill, our body is making us stop and asks us to surrender. It would be great if that was emphasised more by doctors and other health practitioners.

     3. This is so worth highlighting Susie. Returning to life ‘just as it was’ is commonly seen as a ‘victorious point reached’, over the ‘battle’ with an illness. And then we see people doing not only returning to the life they’d had, but amping it up… I read the story the other day of a woman, who having got the all clear from a serious illness, then went and ran 27 marathons in 27 different countries… What about the toll on her body??
        What if, there is no ‘battle’ to be had… but rather a deep acknowledgement that life is going to, indelibly, change? As was Michael’s response, from the moment of his diagnosis.

        1. That’s a great example of how not only do the doctors look for the ‘all clear’, ‘normal’ signs in a patient to send them home so that they can go back to their lives/lifestyles as similarly as possible, but the patient also looks for this. It is not unusual to slide back into old patterns after an illness or disease – a period of clearing – if we do not want to look at the lifestyle choices that brought us the illness in the first place.

        2. Absolutely Susie.
           Also to add, there are undoubtedly many medical professionals who know that what’s deemed ‘normal’ isn’t working… though everything seems currently geared for us to return to the life we once led as the ultimate goal… As Michael found, it seemed a welcome surprise to his doctor and also a shift in where the responsibility lay – far more with the ‘patient’, for the quality of life ‘ahead’. Rather than the enormous impositions we place upon medical professionals to fix everything for us, as if we were simply a car requiring a new part, so we can get back on the same horse. There is no responsibility for that whatsoever.
           The medicos I have dealt with that I most respect, don’t hold back in alerting their patients to shifts in responsibility and attitudes when it comes to their health.

     4. Thank you for highlighting these point ladies. This is a very strong medical consciousness. Why would you encourage a person to get back to do the same thing that put them in hospital in the first place. There is a responsibility that is greater than just having the skills to sew a cut or fix a broken arm.

     5. Super pertinent point Susie! Wouldn’t it be great if patients could be told – “take the time to lovingly nurture yourself back to health and to work out which behaviours and reactions have been causing you stress and tension and thus your illness so that you can begin a new normal!”

        1. Yes it would Michelle. Post-operation care should be focused on the patient building back strength in their body and developing a new normal to go back and experiment with at home.

        2. Absolutely Michelle. Susie has greatly pointed out how we as a society simply want to get back to the ‘normal’ that was the cause for the illness, that effects not only ourselves but our family and friends and pretend like nothing never happened. All the while missing the point entirely, missing the huge opportunity to truly heal and return to a truly normal way of living, where honesty and responsibility are key through which self-honoring and self-love choices our natural medicine.

     6. Thank you Susie for highlighting this because it’s clear that a big measure of the doctor’s success is if the patient returns to normal. Wouldn’t it be great if the doctor got a double celebration if they returned the patient to a new way of life as well? I loved the fact that my surgeon was open to the bigger discussion about the way we live and not just placing me back where I’d come from.

        1. Absolutely Michael. Unfortunately due to the poor conditions that many doctors are working in these days – exceptionally long hours, huge patient : doctor ratio, incredible stress etc. they do not get as much time with each patient to talk about and address the lifestyle choices that may have led them to this point. Thus medicine is now almost wholly about finding cures and not supporting people to live in a way that doesn’t lead to an illness in the first place.

227. ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ This sentence, small in words yet big on reality, holds so much of the way men have chosen to live, masked and resilient to the onslaught of life. Looking up every so often to let the world, families, friends and colleagues know that they are doing well enough and that it’s fine to carry on… Michael your writing has shone a torch deep into the recess of men’s lives everywhere. We are truly sensitive and tender, and deserve the loving touch of ourselves and others. Thank you for sharing.

     1. Beautifully said and confirmed Lee. I couldn’t agree more.

228. A very inspiring journey, so very powerful to hear a man to take full responsibility for true healing express with such tenderness and love and fully embrace the opportunity this illness and dis-ease presented for true healing in the body.

     1. I agree Margaret, very powerful to hear a man express with such tenderness and love, a man who so willingly is taking responsibility for his choices and his healing. His openness and vulnerability is very inspiring, not only to other men but to us all..

        1. It is very inspiring for all of us Rosemary so many men in the community are really stepping up and taking responsibility for their choice to heal and are open to true relationships, it is up to us as women to reciprocate with the offer of true connection. When we all drop our masks and open our hearts humanity will be free to truly love again.

229. The tenderness and surrender you are allowing Michael is exquisite, it seeps through between the words on the page and touches me to know the healing that is possible and available through prostate cancer when embraced as you are. I have known a few men with prostate cancer that allowed more tenderness in their lives, it is sometimes listed as a ‘side effect’ of the hormone treatment, and even if it is perhaps it’s all part of the healing package.

230. “My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art.” Beautifully expressed, thank you Michael.

     1. That’s the key I agree – it’s how we live that will make the difference and what we are prepared and committed to be and say and how much responsibility we’re prepared to take. It’s all on offer for us and each one of us has a choice of what path to follow, because we’re all on a path. So the big question is what we will make of all of this? and how will we be and what will we reflect?

        1. Yes Michael, there is so much in this blog, it has given me the opportunity to really question the way I am living and to look at what needs more work, without being critical. It has given me a stop moment to reassess areas where I felt I was living in a way that was true to me which in fact are caught up in doing and not being. Reading your experiences has reminded me to check in on where I am at right now at this moment, and to let go of any trying to be this or trying to be that and just allow myself to drop into being me.

231. This is so true Gill, I recall too that cancer was the big ‘C’ word, and it was pretty much a death sentence. Anyone on Chemotherapy back then looked like death, and from all accounts felt like it too. You had to survive the treatment first before even beginning the sort of journey Michael has described… healing as we’re coming to know it was not in anybody’s awareness back then.

     1. It’s great Jenny to mention Chemotherapy and I’m fortunate that I didn’t have to have any. Chemotherapy is still a very big deal and I wouldn’t want to have to go through it – although I now know I could and would if I had to. What I would say is that I feel that I got it very easy with a few incisions and the removal of my prostate. OK it’s been quite a journey but I count myself fortunate in that respect.

        1. Yes you are quite fortunate Michael not to have to go through Chemotherapy, it is a bit rugged, and for some, very much so. The healing potential is still there regardless however, and what you offer through your own experience is so supportive. This blog will be widely read… it is very important.

232. I love your ‘Title’ Michael – it details the truth of what we can all choose any moment of the day and is not determined by crisis in life or any kind of awaking – although often mankind responds to this more commonly. We are currently living all the choices we have made so far – time to live the future we know is ‘True’ now. Inspiring for self and inspiring for others.

233. ” So this is when I discover my blank canvas and I have the opportunity to show what I can do and it’s my type of art and my magic. Here is the moment when I can discover what true healing is …” What a fantastic way to see illness and especially such a grave one which is responsible for many deaths such as prostate cancer. If everyone was able to take illness in this way, to let go of the need to get better and get on with life, and stop and really feel what this is about – what would the whole picture of illness look like on the planet?

234. It is incredible how we think we can treat our bodies in any way we want to without listening or understanding the messages being shown. Taking our bodies for granted is a common theme in society, as though it is there to do whatever we demand of it regardless of the consequences. As you share Michael, your body was clearly telling you something when you had the heart attack and when your schedule continued to be crazy your body went ‘no, this is enough, here’s prostate cancer so you have to stop now.’
     I’m sure our bodies are appreciating the fact Universal Medicine came along, exposing the way we are all living, and supporting in the responsibility of self-care, self-nurturing and true healing. I wonder how different humanity would be if this way of living in harmony with our bodies was offered in schools and to children from a very young age…

235. Thank you, Michael, what an incredible sharing. Learning to surrender and trust is a beautiful thing, as life becomes simple and full of joy as opposed to the daily struggle. You have demonstrated with grace how an illness can be the greatest opportunity to turn our lives around.

     1. I love that you use the word grace Janet for describing the quality Michael has brought in this sharing. Again not a word we would generally use for men but a quality they most definitely carry within as much as women do. Thank you Michael for reflecting the tenderness, grace and care all men carry, you are an inspiration.

        1. An absolute inspiration Katinka and Janet. The quality of ‘grace’ is most definitely in Michael’s every word – via his deep surrender to his own healing, and all that this experience has brought to him. We simply can’t have enough sharings such as this in our world today.

236. It feels that this blog holds all men equally in love, with or without prostate cancer.

     1. Mariette that is true – yes I agree “It feels that this blog holds all men equally in love, with or without prostate cancer.”

237. This is such a great article about a topic that is affecting more and more people daily and that has so much angst, fear and powerlessness associated with it. It provides great insights and is very inspiring and empowering to read, Thank you Michael for so openly sharing.

238. The gentleness, care, tenderness and sensitivity you express here, Michael, is beautiful and palpable in your writing. This is particularly evident in your care and consideration not only for your wife but for all partners of a cancer patient. And coming from a man it makes it all the more inspirational.

     1. Well said Jonathon. As I was reading the blog I felt a sense of needing to slow down as there is so much more here than just the words and a story. There is something for everyone who reads this blog but additionally, it’s a phenomenal offering to men everywhere around possible opportunities for how they can approach and live their lives. Thank you Michael; I’m deeply appreciative.

     2. Yes Johnathan it is inspirational how Michael shared his gentleness, care, tenderness and sensitivity and it makes me smile as your appreciation for Michael is full of your gentleness, care, tenderness and sensitivity – wonderful.

     3. Absolutely Jonathan, its totally inspiring the way Michael has supported himself and and his wife by sharing experiences of cancer with others – this is what i call true responsibility & true love.

239. ‘My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. ‘ Whatever we go through in life, ill-ness or disease, what matters is the depth of learning and insight gained and is the most precious gift to have given yourself Michael.

240. Michael this is a superb blog thank you for sharing, an absolute game-changer as Otto Batthurst says. It is very powerful to hear a man express himself in this way, with extraordinary tenderness, surrender, responsibility and commitment to the truth of what healing for you entails. It is deeply inspiring… and I plan to recommend it for reading to several of my clients.

     1. Absolutely Jenny. Prostate cancer is so prevalant in our society today is awesome to hear Michael’s perspective as to the reasons why he has the cancer and the level of responsibility he is willing to go to for healing. A huge inspiration not only for all men but for all people.

        1. Agreed Donna, the greater the responsibility taken, the deeper the healing, and the more powerful the inspiration… or so it would seem.

        2. Yes the statistic for Australian men is one in two. I can’t imagine having to go through this without feeling empowered in the process. The fear must be pretty overwhelming. This blog is a must read for all, not just for men. The depth that Michael is willing to go in admitting vulnerability and tenderness is awe inspiring and incredibly touching.

        3. Yes Donna, this blog is definitely relevant for all people as it offers an approach to healing that few willingly seek on their own. To have the opportunity to read this and be inspired by what is possible, is a must.

        4. Yes Donna the statistics for prostate cancer are huge without taking into consideration all other cancers. What I am inspired by is how, through medical support and taking responsibility, Michael was able to pick up the early diagnosis of a cancer which was showing only through tiredness in the physical body and most of us are unaware of exhaustion as we fix ‘the problem’ with coffee on a daily basis.

        5. In terms of prevalence, Donna, I know from speaking to my surgeon that almost all of his operations are now for prostate cancer and as I understand it, radical prostatectomies. This is a big change because he actually offers several other procedures and treatments but no longer has the time to carry them out.

     2. That is so true Jenny Michael’s blog is a game changer in so many ways . . . I also plan to recommend Michal’s blog for reading to some of my clients as it is a powerful way to let them feel that there is an other way possible.

        1. Yes agreed esteraltmiks, there is no more powerful way to be inspired than reading/hearing/seeing someone who has lived it themselves. Such a refreshing change from being ‘advised’ or told what is best for you by professionals, family or well-meaning friends. There is an imposition that comes with the latter, and with Michael’s example.. space to feel what is true for you and make choices based on that.

        2. That is so true Jenny. What I can share is if I felt such an imposition in the past I was easily going into a reaction of doing exactly the opposite . . . that was a bit self harming and I am glad that I stopped this kind of reacting. So my question is how do others react on such an imposition?

        3. Yes most of us have some sort of reaction to being told what we should do, however seemingly well-meaning. I may not do the opposite, but I will struggle to hear and connect with what might be true of what’s being said… and hence reject it.

        4. Beautifully said esteraltmiks and Jenny Ellis. Michael’s sharing here deserves to be shared far and wide – it has the potential to touch many, and not for one minute does it tell anyone what their own ‘way’ in facing such an illness should be.

        5. “. . . not for one minute does it tell anyone what their own ‘way’ in facing such an illness should be.” That was exactly what was fascinating me too Victoria – his sharing leave me to make my own decision and that is for me very empowering.

     3. Yes Marika, it is in surrendering that we get to see and feel the learning and magic on offer through illness and disease, that is so true! What a paradigm shift for humanity… and what a different world we’ll have when the majority take this responsibility!

     4. Yes absolutely true Marika, when someone chooses the sort of path Michael has outlined, the impact on everyone around is profound…. immense evolution as you say. We really are in denial of our true power… and in complete denial of the responsibility we hold to turn around the mess we are in as a one-world, one by one.

241. There are so many poignant and beautiful phrases in this article Michael and this one stood out for me. “I find that I’m coming to terms with me and my body, and the scene is set for me to start work on this blank canvas of my life because I have felt the healing every inch of the way. I’m still learning the surrender and need to trust in this”. After the shock of an accident, incident or an extreme illness there is a newness in the rawness that is forcedly uncovered. For me this is refreshing as it cuts to the truth of what we have been denying we know and gets underneath all the behaviours and patterns we have built to cover this truth. I so understand it when you say you have felt the healing every inch of the way because there is a deeply felt appreciation of all the things you are finally allowing yourself to feel. In simply being honest and vulnerable it is possible to feel the old the patterns and the hurts that precipitated them; they naturally and gracefully clear in this process. The blank canvas is now in front of us, a new start and the potential of brand new choices and a brand new way to live. What a gorgeous overview and insight into the real purpose of illness and disease. A blessing in disguise. A new start, an opportunity to evolve more deeply into the love that we are and an inner certainty and absoluteness hat this is the journey we are on and there is no wavering from it.

242. Michael you are inspiration to others with you beautiful open sharing, there is so much to learn in life as you you have shared so beautifully.

243. I am inspired by how you have chosen to deal with your prostate cancer – how you have embraced the healing and the lessons to be learned. Your openness and tenderness is beautiful to feel Michael, thank you.

     1. I agree Carmin, Michael’s approach is going very much against the grain as we are commonly encouraged to fight cancer and rarely shown how to surrender to the expose of our choices and the deep healing this can bring. When we get sick its our body’s way of showing us how we have been treating all of ourselves. Learning to read this message, to stop, feel, question and observe is clearly the way forward. Michael does not come across as a victim in any way whatsoever. Taking responsibility brings in such a different quality, a quality that uplifts us because we all recognise this innocent sweetness that lies deep inside, often buried under lots of expectations, duties and roles but there none the less.

        1. What you’ve shared here is of deep importance Rowena. It is so commonly held that cancer is something we are ‘battling’, or that we have to ‘fight’. Michael has taken deep responsibility and in this also surrendered to all that this has brought to him. No ‘victim’, no ‘fight’, but the truth of a beautiful man, willing to honour his own beauty to the bone. Deeply inspiring for us all.

        2. I love this, Rowena. I’ve been reflecting on the question of ‘fighting’ the cancer and wondered why I wasn’t rallying my whole body and energy to battle it – and then it became clear that it was this very struggle that had caused the cancer in the first place. And by surrendering I had a far more powerful answer to the disease / dis-ease – and at the same time it takes away a lot of the anxiousness in the healing process.

     2. I really felt this too Carmin. Every step Michael has so beautifully and tenderly shared with us shows how easy it is to gently and lovingly take responsibility for our health; and what a rich reward this brings, not only for ourselves but others too.

        1. Fighting the cancer feels like defending the ill way of living that resulted in physical illness. Michael’s attitude towards illness is so refreshing, Open to see his old way of life, let it go, heal the past as it clears from the body, and live with the blessing of having learnt from life’s lessons.

244. In an era when so many of us seem to be incredibly busy and somewhat exhausted by life, your words and honesty Michael are music to my ears. What if life is after all, this blank canvas, spacious and grand, but it is us who choose to fill it up with unnecessary doodles and muck? I absolutely agree that through surrender to the body I get to see and appreciate that this blank canvas is beautiful, is me, and not at all scary.

     1. Love this Joseph ‘doodles and muck’ – how we literally discolour and make a mess of a divine canvas simply to avoid feeling that we herald from and are that divine canvas in the first place.

        1. I agree Joseph and Lee, the pureness, the divine that is our core being, we can cover it up, hide it, or we can at last surrender to it and allow ourselves to be.

        2. Katinka I love how you state that ‘divinity is our core’ – it is Absolutely and we just have to surrender.

     2. Joseph, I can relate to covering my blank canvas with unnecessary marks that distract from the beauty beneath. It feels amazing to be giving my canvas a good clean and to trust that it is not scary to let the world see me.

245. I am deeply moved by your blog Michael. As ottobathurst says it is “game-changing”. It is game changing on so many levels. From a health professional’s point of view it is extraordinary to read and know the depth that you have taken your healing to and how you have brought conventional medicine and complementary medicine together to work for you to support your healing. For the point of view of a woman reading about how tender and vulnerable a man can be with himself is pure joy to read and feel and from the point of view of a fellow member of humanity it is a blessing to read that getting cancer or any illness is an opportunity to heal so much on so many levels.

     1. Yes it is so touching to feel the tenderness and vulnerability in this blog. For women this is indeed a joy to read and feel. And for men I should imagine this is a true inspiration.

     2. Yes I agree Elizabeth…your blog is a game-changer on many levels Michael – it is a blessing for everyone.

     3. Absolutely agree Elizabeth and there’s so much that can be done for people by bringing conventional medicine and complementary medicine together. If what I’ve written helps to show how they work together then that’s a big step forward for the powers that be. I know the work that you do and how amazing you are and how you bring both types of medicine together and the huge benefit that comes from this – it’s a message that needs to be continually impressed so thank you.

     4. The other true joy of this story is seeing a man let go of the belief he is not enough and taking on others responsibilities, to surrendering to just being here exactly as he is, with no “doing”. There is a true joy for me as a woman to see a man return to himself and be in love with all that he is. There is actually a collective joy when a person does this for themselves. When we are in beliefs and driving ourselves for others, we think this is what others want. But when we let go of these things and just be ourselves, knowing it is enough, we deliver a blessing and a healing – and others receive this choice in a very beautiful way. This feels to me to be what we truly want from one another. It certainly brings a joy to my heart!

     5. Yes, the simplicity and the acceptance are very unusual. Extraordinary even.

        1. I agree Christoph “the simplicity and the acceptance are very unusual. Extraordinary even.” How often do we wallow when sick, feeling sorry for ourselves and feeling a victim of the illness and of life. Here Michael shows not a spec of that, but a full acceptance of his illness and has come to terms with his choices that led to the disease. This is extraordinary.

     6. Totally concur Elizabeth, we are blessed to have these lived experiences unfold before us – testament to the everyday miracles that are inspired by Universal medicine.

246. You are contributing greatly to breaking the consciousness of what it is to be a man. You , your sons and other men are a true inspirations and true role models.

     1. Absolutely Katinka you can feel it in every word.

     2. Agreed Katinka, it is deeply inspiring to know there are men out there that are allowing themselves to return to their true tenderness. As more do it others will feel it is safe to do the same.

247. Thank you Michael, your blog has brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful the journey back to the true man you are, allowing all the support that is needed. Sharing your healing with others is a great great gift, thank you.

     1. The gift of this blog is much grander then we could ever imagine. There are so many ideas about how to fix cancer. Michael’s choice to surrender to the enormous levels of support of his family and loved ones is a testament of the level of healing he was willing to go to.

        1. Very true nb, fixing is very different in quality than surrendering. We can and should allow modern medicine to support us in curing the disease, but healing ourselves is a level of responsibility we can and should also embrace.

        2. Agreed Katinka and nb, fixing and surrendering are miles apart, I am really struck by the quality of understanding that pours from this blog.

248. Since ‘your’ cancer and open sharing Michael, me and my partner and friends talk more about cancer and illnesses in general. Thank you for this inspiration. I found it very valuable to bring these conversations in motion.

     1. Yes, Sandra, there are so many people we all know who have died from or who are currently living with, Cancer. Blogs like Michael’s encourage us all to look deeper, not to bemoan our fate or think it’s simply bad luck, but to understand the purpose behind it, that there is a lesson abut how we are living and how we can make different choices that will affect how we live for the rest of this lifetime and into our lives beyond.

        1. For me, just the simple thing of starting talking about Cancer and other diseases, instead of ignoring it but feeding the fear of powerlessness constantly so, is a great start.

     2. Start talking – Yes. I hadn’t even considered that this might be the effect of writing my story but that’s got to be a plus so I’m all for seeing where this openness will lead – and as you say Sandra not only with cancer.

        1. The beauty is Michael, that we may not expect what will come up in others by our expression – but it does have an effect always. And so we will expand every topic one of us experience even more and more together.

     3. Yes this is such an amazing sharing. In having read it, it supports with a deeper understanding and therefore a deeper wisdom to share with others who may be in fear of illness and disease and do not know which way to turn, or simply to talk about illness in general. For others to know that we can empower ourselves in these really challenging circumstances is super important.

        1. It is absolutely invaluable Michelle. Well said.

        2. I found the access to wisdom comes by connecting with me and others. It is not me, getting wise and then sharing it. It is me getting humble, accepting my vulnerability and imperfection as a single human being and seeing us as evolving together or not at all.

        3. Yes agreed! The deeper understanding and deeper wisdom encouraged by this blog is because this blog has a gorgeousness that touches one deeply. In this space there is an allowing for the vulnerability and humility you talk of (that Michael so tenderly shares), and an acceptance of where one is at and in connection with everyone else. It is not possible to share a revelation or understand one unless it is lived first or felt first. The quality of this writing gives the reader permission to go there, to feel that vulnerability, to connect to the whole, imperfections and all – to not hide away but to see everything lived thus far and to see the potential of everything yet to live; true awareness and the potential for true evolution.

249. When I was a kid and cancer was just starting to appear as a more and more regular disease amongst my parents generation, I remember how they all used to call it “The Dreaded C.” That is the common conception of cancer – immediately putting the patient in a defensive, powerless, irresponsible and resentful space. Which is why Michael’s blog is so game-changing. Here is a man who is allowing himself to be as open as possible to the full picture of what is at play and is moving forward with an absolute commitment to seeing everything that there is to see and implementing whatever changes this illness has inspired him to make. Inspiring – to any of us – cancer or no cancer.

     1. I agree Otto. It is common to see an illness as something that comes up to attack us – but what if the illness is a reflection of what WE did put into our bodies first?! Like Michael describes his way of living was not lovingly for himself and so the cancer or any disease is like a flag from the body, a gift with a broad hint to stop and SEE. And if I am honest, when I am ill and look back I see the little before signals I’ve got but did ignore.

        Since I met Serge Benhayon and the Teachings of Universal Medicine I see even an unharmonious moment as ‘something is wrong and needs a healing’. To see healing as needed in the moment where disharmony, unkindness or a little lie does appear changed my life enormously I have to say. And I agree again: Inspiring to read this blog and get some support here for embracing the signals of our body with honoring – even if it is cancer.

        1. Beautifully put Sandra, “It is common to see an illness as something that comes up to attack us – but what if the illness is a reflection of what WE did put into our bodies first?!” Understanding the quality of energy in the body, and taking responsibility for this via our everyday choices is a powerful way to care for ourselves.

     2. So true Otto, our relationship with cancer is changing all the time as we find more and more ways to treat it, but what Michael has done certainly changes the game. Rather than retreating or fighting he has surrendered to the whole process, allowed himself to feel his vulnerability and look at the deeper ‘why’ behind the disease. It is very inspiring because the quality of vulnerability that Michael has allowed to surface is very palpable in his writing, a delicate innocence that feels both timeless and ageless.

        1. Great point Rowena and Michael, best to surrender to cancer and all that it reveals to you rather than fight it as if it has nothing to do with you, just happened to decide to randomly attack you one day.

     3. “Absolute commitment to seeing everything that there is to see and implementing whatever changes this illness has inspired him to make” that in itself is inspiring – indeed a world of difference to seeing an illness as a “dreaded’ thing and feeling defensive, resentful and powerless.

        1. I cried reading this blog Golnaz. Deeply touched by the way in which Michael has met this experience, and responded to it with all that he is. No ‘dread’, no ‘powerlessness’ (though undoubtedly he would have felt extremely vulnerable at many points…), but a willingness to see this as an opportunity to truly heal. From the very outset, he knew what he had been denying in himself.

     4. I agree with you Ottobathurst, as a kid cancer was not to be mentioned in our household, it was as if you would curse everyone if you mentioned it, especially as my mother was very superstitious and incidentally she died of lung cancer and my father of leukaemia. That’s why article like this are so important to get people out to the fear and into the doctors surgery to get themselves checked over.

     5. I agree this is inspiring with or without cancer as there is always the opportunity to make changes which in turn impact our health.

        1. Absolutely jsnelgrove what a a great reminder we don’t have to wait until we have a major health crisis to make move loving choices in our lives.

        2. Yes jsnelgrove36 – a true gift.

     6. I remember the reference to the ‘big C’ growing up too…it meant the person was going to die, and there was so much dread around the word ‘cancer’ that no-one even wanted to say the actual word! Back in the early 80’s and starting work in the health profession, if a patient had been diagnosed with cancer it was whispered in handover! I used to feel that dread each time it was said, and react in sympathy every time, however it is only since working on an oncology and haematology ward for the past 5 yrs that the word cancer has become a common everyday, ‘normal’ word for me…and through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I now understand the journey of illness and disease, whether it be cancer or not, and sympathy is no longer a part of the care I offer…there is no reaction now when cancer is mentioned. It is a disharmony, a dis-ease in the body, being revealed, and a gift from our body if we take the opportunity for true healing.

        1. I can feel the purpose that you bring to this. Which is surely the whole point. If we don’t accept and embrace what the cancer is so clearly and loudly showing us, then the purpose of the opportunity is missed. And then, whether the cancer is cured or not, nothing really will have changed and at some point soon, our bodies will have to show us what’s really going on, again.

     7. I completely agree Otto – even more recently I was in denial about the “Dreaded C”. When my mother died the death certificate said that she’d died of cancer and yet not once had she spoken about it nor was I aware that this was happening to her body – and I was resentful and angry and in denial – couldn’t face it. And I remember growing up scared to bits about cancer. Five years on and five years with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and there’s a whole new understanding and that coupled with two amazing surgeons who I spoke to about what was happening to me and my body and the two amazing surgeons who operated on me, completely changed my perception. There is another way – that’s a fact.

        1. Deeply powerful Michael, Otto and all… There is so much to be done to shift public perception around the ‘dreaded C’, or indeed any illness we may face. Your blog here Michael does just that.
           Your comment above “There is another way – that’s a fact.” says to me that you would write so powerfully from this experience further, and debase the societal attitudes that are still so vehemently held onto. The ‘big C’ has the potential to offer us so very much.
           I am deeply touched by your embracing of this…

        2. Michael – what you are so freely talking about, accepting and living with is such a game changer for almost all of us. The ripples of the example you are leading will be felt wide and far. On just one small example – the two surgeons you have been communicating with – it must be amazing for them to be able to express so openly and freely about what is going on. I imagine that their normal situation is an extreme case of ‘treading on eggshells’ and ‘wrapping the words up in cotton wool.’ But after your inspiration, they are going to feel much less like the doomsayers that they must so often feel like, and will be inspired to offer similar truths to other patients. I feel that this is huge and goes back to the “Dreaded C” of it all. The more that we can strip away the stigma of Cancer as the final death rattle, then the more that we will be open to the healing opportunities that the disease actually offers. Huge respect and appreciation to you Michael for so bravely, humbly and tenderly leading this way.

        3. “There is another way – that’s a fact.” Michael, this is an inspiration. The fact that your perception has changed on the disease and that you live another way serves millions. Your story and words need to be shared far and wide.

     8. Yes, Otto, life becomes very different when we become aware of a bigger and bigger part of the story why we get ill, especially cancer and if we are then able to take the opportunities that present themselves *because* of the illness.

     9. Agreed Otto, just as it is super inspiring to feel the depth of yours and Michael’s tenderness, this is truly healing for all men to know this is possible.

250. It is touching to read of your experiences Michael, your honesty, continued learning’s and the magic that comes from gifting yourself such a blessing.

     1. Agree Marcia, Michael’s sharing and healing is truly magical. Shame we no longer use these words so freely as there is so much beauty in their honesty.

251. You are the magic Michael and the living artistry of your commitment to love. Thank you for sharing.

252. Great writing Michael very open and informative and I like how you elaborated on the root cause of the illness

     1. I agree Joe, a very open honest informative read. A great support for all to relate to, men in particular.

253. Beautiful tender read of what has no doubt been an intense experience. I am glad that you are now rewriting the crazy train ride you were on to one where you know you are enough just for being you Michael.

     1. I am very glad about this too Vanessa. Michael you are one gorgeous man. It seems pretty crazy that one so lovely had no concept that simply being himself was more than enough (I have felt the same about myself too). In celebrating yourself in your essence it means that all who know you and love you for who you are now have company in that celebration. We have always celebrated the fact of you in our hearts, but now you are doing it for yourself in your own heart we are all together on the same path and the celebration is complete!

        1. Beautifully expressed Michelle. By Michael’s gorgeous sharing we are all given an inspirational reflection to stop the crazy chasing to achieve, or be something, but instead accept that we are enough simply being ourselves.

     2. I agree Vanessa and for me it is also a powerful example that we can change our way of living and that it is never to late to do so.

        1. Ester agreed, if we want to change it is never too late. Everything is set up to give us the opportunity to make different choices, what we do with it is always up to us. As Michael beautifully shows he was given the opportunity to change and he embraced it in full and we are all graced by the outcome.

254. ‘But my healing this time round (as compared to just mending after my heart attack) is bumpy – full of speed bumps.’ Thank you Michael for your openness in sharing your experience with prostate cancer and your path to true healing through recognising and negotiating the speed bumps but more importantly in appreciating yourself and the blank canvas that is now on offer. An amazing lesson for us all and thank you for being such a tender and inspiring role model for men and women.

255. Thanks Michael for so openly, beautifully and even humorously sharing your story of prostate cancer, surgery and healing as well as what it lead you to discover about you. As men we can find it hard to surrender and stop all the roles we play in a constant swirl of movement. I too am slowly learning to surrender and repose, may you rest and heal well.

256. Loved reading your words Michael – I was close to tears many times. The one sentence out of a whole bunch that stood out a bit more for me today was ‘I get the feeling that I’m observing a bit too much and waiting to take that first step.’ Thanks for sharing what you went through.

257. Michael thank you so much for your honest sharing about your experience with your prostate cancer. You have shared that Serge Benhayon is a role model for you in terms of how a man truly is namely sensitive and tender. That is really wonderful as this revealed that what is normally thought a man should be is actually a reduction of him. We need more “tenderman” instead of gentleman.

258. What I loved too Michael was your acceptance of the need to go deeper with this second illness. It is so, so tempting to revert to ‘business as usual’ – as you did after your heart issues – until this second stop made you reassess. Congratulations, this is a tricky step to master.

     1. It is tricky and I’m scared of reverting to the old – but I know that I have the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and his family and Simone Benhayon and my family near and far so I will master the tricky step – and like I said I’m now acutely aware of what could happen and know that I now have the licence to say “No”.

259. Thank you Michael for providing this bloke (and others) with an intimate understanding of a disease that affects enormous numbers of men. Your insights into true healing are indeed inspiring and I look forward to seeing your new masterpiece evolve.

260. Michael… congratulations on this deeply beautiful and reflective essay, a true meditation on your illness and healing. A masterpiece, for not only does it outline the process so lovingly, the love you brought to the process can be felt in every word. Just stunning.

261. I could spend ages just reading through all these comments they are a reflection of the tenderness and openess with which Michael has written, it is so lovely to read and feel.

262. This is a beautiful journey of healing. Thank you Michael. You have given me much to reflect on and a clearer understanding of the grace that such a journey can bring.

263. Thank you for sharing your experience with amazing openness and honesty Michael. This will be a huge support for others facing similar issues. I find that although I try to stop and rest, at times it has taken me a forced stop to actually stop. I am working on being able to stop and rest now before it is forced on me.

264. Having a health condition currently myself, without the awareness, understandings and support from Universal Medicine that I have had and continue to receive, I would have dealt with this situation very differently. As I do have the support and awareness and in the run-up to surgery, I find that I am embracing whatever life presents as opportunities for great healing, as I recognise that it’s not just about the physical aspect that the surgery will cut away but changing my behaviours that have led to the illness. The more I am willing to see, the more is being revealed and in the process I feel more and more beautiful.

     1. Wow, another glorious testimony to the power of embracing illness as an opportunity for clearing and healing that which is no longer needed and going deeper with our love for ourselves. I agree – a big thanks to Serge Benhayon for without the understanding he brings, illness would continue to be the enemy – something we need to ‘fight’, as we so often hear people say today.

     2. Thank you Shevon for your sharing. This line is a stunning example of how we can surrender to the grace and power available to us through the process of illness and disease – “The more I am willing to see, the more is being revealed and in the process I feel more and more beautiful.”

        1. I love this Shevon and your sharing and I completely agree with Janet – it’s a big step and I now find that I can truly appreciate myself and that I too feel more and more beautiful. Someone asked me if I felt any different – my reply was “I feel taller” – and that felt pretty amazing even though I’m not sure that they understood what I was saying.

     3. Deeply inspiring Shevon. Your words shift us from seeking an ‘outcome’ to an illness or health condition, and actually embracing all that is there for us at any given time.
        What if ‘life itself’ is a ‘condition’ that we truly need to embrace? And all that is being presented here, via Michael Nicholson’s blog and this amazing commentary, is offering the keys to the true embracing of life – that we can drop the mistruths, the loveless ways, and denial of our own truly beautiful and amazing selves, that is so endemic in our world today…?

     4. And through the process… come to realise that our lives are not simply for ‘ourselves’ after all, but about all – and our intrinsic interconnectedness.

265. What a frank and honest blog Michael. If only we all could realise that ‘dis-ease’ is a message from the body that how we are living needs to change, that it’s not about ‘getting back to normal’ but in fact about choosing and living a new normal.

     1. It’s a delicate balance, isn’t it? Disease is a message and yet it can be (and is) scary when something goes wrong. We can be so used to everything functioning ‘normally’ – ‘normally’ meaning that perhaps it actually isn’t, but we haven’t realised it yet – so when it does go wrong, it can come as a big shock. We have normalised a state of ill-being that we can be eager to return to, rather than give ourselves a new, true normal.

266. Golly gosh, this is such an amazing blog Michael. Thank you for sharing with such amazing honesty, humility, power and joy. You are very, very special. Your journey and your amazing expression of it, are an inspiration to me. We must get your voice heard by the masses.

     1. Agreed. This is one powerful story that needs to be heard. And we need to ask why stories such as these aren’t on the front page of every newspaper. What passes for much of our news is little more than a catalogue of the myriad ways we continue to NOT take responsibility for ourselves, and the people we share the planet with.

     2. Totally agree Otto, Michael’s blog was written not for him but for everyone to read of another way to be when we are stopped by any illness and disease. What is so obvious in Michael’s sharing is there is no fighting the dis-ease or wishing it would go away. There is a well of wisdom and understanding of what is truly going and it’s inspiring how he has surrendered to all that is being healed.

        1. What you say about ‘fighting this disease’ is so relevant. It’s what everyone says about cancer..”I’m going to fight it.” In fact if you look at many of the cancer charities, the word fight is littered all over the place; fight it, beat it, etc….In this mindset, how can we learn or see anything that our body is showing us? Impossible. And thus whether we survive the cancer or not, no true healing and evolution can occur – a massive opportunity missed.

        2. Absolutely Otto, just another way to cement that we are not responsible for how we live or what our bodies are showing us… and to keep up the same ill energy of pushing and fighting (really protecting and closing ourselves off to love) that we have previously chosen. Pretty evil and orchestrated if you ask me.

     3. Indeed Otto, this is an amazing blog, the wisdom and joy that Michael is sharing on his journey of his life is very special and will be of huge value when shared with the masses.

267. Michael, I could feel my body surrender when you spoke so deeply and openly about your process with surgery. We can live like this all the time, being open and surrendering to what is being shown from life and our bodies. I can get caught up in control which leads to a complication and confusion and hardens my body – by just reading the word surrender I know it innately and can let go of trying to be the artist. We are all already the work of art we seek, all we need to do is live it.

     1. Rachael, this is truly beautiful. A quotable quote…
        “We are all already the work of art we seek, all we need to do is live it.”
        Thank-you.

268. The blank canvas is a great analogy for living life without the markings, smudges or scars of past hurts – free of protection. We walk through life with a canvas that can resemble the mess of our past choices, our irresponsibility and hurts, protecting what we think is a work of art and identifying with each brush stroke by feeling that’s who we are. Thanks to Serge Benhayon we no longer need to carry around this ‘art work’ as proof that we don’t need to open up because of all this mess – we can surrender, open to love and watch the canvas clear as we understand the truth of who we are – which the body is more than willing to show us.

269. What is clear here Michael is the difference between a quick fix and a true healing. Your heart attack was, as you say ‘mended’ – a stent put in and away you went again. The heart attack was more of a pause rather than the stop your body perhaps intended, and so along comes prostate cancer as a big stop. It is beautiful how our bodies present the consequences of our way of living to us…there may be little messages early on, but as life goes on and we ignore more and more of those messages, they become larger until we have major stops. So often our bodies are seen as the enemy, as having failed us when illness ‘strikes’ – however, in truth, it is us who have failed our bodies by not listening to the messages and honouring them every day.

     1. “so often our bodies are seen as the enemy, as having failed us when illness ‘strikes’ ” -This is so true Paula as I have found with my own personal experience with illness. All we have to do is pay attention deeply, in a world that keeps providing us with ways to shorten and shorten our attention span instead.

     2. A paradigm shift most needed in medicine and how we view the body full stop Paula. The body can be seen as a true friend – one that won’t ever lie to you, and will give you the truth, straight up.

270. Your words are an absolute gift Michael. Life gives us a lot of ‘stop’ moments and each and every one of them is there to help us remember that we are divine. I have observed that when I choose to ignore these opportunities my next ‘stop’ is more of a shock to the system. The design of it all is always loving even though the stops can seem harsh and challenging. Your blog is witness to the fact that the way we approach these challenges dictates the quality of our lives.

271. You have a blank canvas available for you to to re-write your way of being in the World, dropping the old and familiar ways of taking on too much, doing too much and not deeply respecting and valuing yourself. And instead, starting from the foundation of surrender and value and re-discovering how it feels and looks to live like this.

272. I really appreciated reading about the learning opportunities that prostate cancer has brought to you Michael, thank you, so that I can more deeply understand and support the other men I meet in my life who are experiencing this.

273. Michael, the tenderness you have discovered and the capacity to stop and allow others to support you is very, very beautiful. You have deeply embraced the fullness of the learning and unfolding back to your love through the process of dealing with the prostate cancer, feeling your own humanness and letting others in. I am sure that your other responsibilities – providing for your family and running your company – will deeply benefit from you looking after yourself and bringing your love, tenderness and understanding back to them, knowing that you don’t need to do it all, but rather just being you in your solid connection is more than enough.

274. I love your approach to dealing with the ‘complications’ with your surgery. Very accepting of what was occurring and surrendering more deeply to what your body was offering you – something that was clearing and healing. What a blessing for the surgeon and everyone caring for you to see a patient who was going with the flow and learning along the way. My feeling is that they all would have been learning a lot through caring for you.

275. Michael you have shared so much here, that is so important for everyone. I particularly enjoyed your approach with your surgeon. Very honest and open discussions. It makes a difference to many things, but especially that they get to know you as a person. This of course works both ways and opens us up to trusting others, which really assists our own bodies in the healing process.

     1. Yes Jennifer, it stands to reason that the more we open up to our doctors and give them a full picture of what is going on for us, not just the physical symptoms but how we feel about what is going on, the more they get to know us as a person. And in the process us getting to know them. Not just a diagnosis or a symptom to be dealt with, which isn’t what is intended I am sure, but does sometimes happen. I love the way Michael approached his surgery, including himself in the responsibility for his healing along with the surgeon’s expertise and support. As you say building trust, very empowering for both him and for the surgeon.

        1. The other part was being with my wife at all the consultations so that the consultants would get to know us both. It wasn’t deliberate but just seemed the natural thing to do – and we were able to share the experience and she would read my feelings and ask the questions that I’d forgotten about especially when I first heard my diagnosis when I felt myself visibly shrinking. So we built a relationship together – very special.

        2. That feels very beautiful Michael, having the support of your wife by your side. Very special. Often in medical consultations there is so much to take in it works very well to have another person with you to be another pair of ears and eyes and voice and as you mentioned remember to ask questions that may be forgotten in the tension of what is being discussed. Working together.

276. The truth of it is we can all have a blank canvas, a fresh start, an opportunity to let go of the past berating and choose more loving ways, anytime we want. In the choice to stop and reflect on what has led us to where we are, whether that is a physical challenge, or perhaps an emotional one, we begin the path of truth and love with our new canvas.

277. It feels as though you are actually treasuring yourself in reconnecting to the part of you that got left behind in all the doing associated with the ‘fatherly’ role. That feels awesome.

     1. And this is possible because of leaving behind all that doing – it’s a huge weight lifted and opens up so much

278. I could not stop reading every word and drop of delightful honesty and wisdom in this blog. All men in the world need to see this so they can understand they are not alone, and they have support when illness and disease are present.

     1. 100% agree Heather. A brilliant and inspiring read. So amazing to feel Michael open his arms and heart up to those around him.

279. “I now know that I had overplayed the father role, taking on too much and blaming myself for incidents and situations that were really a result of other people’s choices.”
     What a great realisation Michael, I am sure many men can relate to what you share here, a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the choices we make throughout life and deeply consider how they may be contributing to our state of health.

     1. Yes Jeanette, you have highlighted a very important point that Michael makes about overplaying the role of being a father and taking on too much and blaming himself for situations that were a result of other peoples choices. Far too often we have a tendency to do this and it is accepted as normal, whereas in fact we need to stop and reflect on how these situations and choices can and do impact on our health.

280. You raise an important point Doug and we discussed it before but if I hadn’t had any markers I might not be writing to you now. I was also told recently that there’s a more reliable test available if you have a private check up – don’t know what but a doctor we both know mentioned it recently – worth exploring?

281. What an amazing sharing Michael. Your experience is an opportunity for all men to learn the truth of what it means to live and surrender to being a true man. A deeply tender, nourishing and very caring being who is who he is well before the roles of life ask anything of him. In this you share where true healing occurs, and this is in the energy and way of being, a greatly ignored factor in modern medicine

     1. Beautifully expressed Joshua…a true man: “A deeply tender, nourishing and very caring being who is who he is well before the roles of life ask anything of him.” This is something boys need to be taught from very young.

282. Thank you Jane – you inspire me to think bigger and reach a wider audience because everyone can change their lives through how they live and the choices that they make

283. “I would have really freaked out if it hadn’t been for everything that I had heard from Serge Benhayon, from Simone Benhayon and Serge’s family and the Universal Medicine Practitioners who have stood by me.” Michael the seriousness of your cancer and the deep appreciation of all that Serge and Universal Medicine have offered you by way of understanding and healing, shows me the powerful and complete partnership of traditional and complementary medicine combined.

284. Wow! What a wonderful sharing of your experience Michael, thank you. Your tenderness and loving acceptance as a man embracing what could be a very confronting situation is deeply felt and very inspiring.

285. I wonder if each day I can learn to live with a blank canvas inspired by yours, learning to not have splodges from past but perhaps wisdom from the past that imprints the way I paint each day.

     1. Absolutely. Cancer or no cancer, Michael’s words are an inspiration to us all.

     2. It is this that brought tears in reading this blog Lucy… There is such a way we can all live. Truly beautiful.

286. So much to learn – head in the sand when there is so much to offer as well – thank you.

287. Your candid sharing is very touching Michael. The nature of this blog reflects the nature of the journey you have been through, with the transparency and surrendering that you accepted was important to heal your condition. To then share this with the world is a continuation of this, and will bring much healing to many.

288. Michael it was great that you acknowledged how your cancer affected your wife. We often forget how an illness can affect the whole family, and that how people deal with it causes ripples and changes in relationships.

     1. That’s a very important point Debra. Our loved ones may not have a physical diagnosis and not go through all of the procedures, but they see everything that happens to us, how we change and how we try and cope with everything that is going on. Being open and honest makes a huge difference here as everything in our lives is part of the healing process, including our relationships.

        1. Yes the whole family and friends are impacted by a loved one being ill. We are all feeling the vulnerability and in that can be surrendered and open or hard and busy.

289. I love how you corrected the doctor about getting back to normal. You realised it was your normal that helped get you to this place, so you needed to make choices that were going to establish a new way of living and being.

     1. I loved that part too Debra, so refreshing not just for a patient to express such a thing, but for the doctor to concur! How wonderful an experience for him too, to have such an example in a patient. He cannot help but notice the stark contrast to so many others who hand over their power and the obligation for healing to the doctor, abdicating all responsibility… and when the result is not to their liking… well… you can always sue! Michael’s choices and commitment to true healing does far more for our medical system and the understanding of healing than we can likely imagine.

290. Michael thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. It was very touching to read and in being vulnerable and brave enough to bare all, I feel I too have permission to be equally vulnerable. I agree with what Zofia shared above about your message being applicable to all of us, not just other men. A Beautiful blog.

     1. What you and Zofia are saying is super important – this is for all of us – equally and with appreciation.

291. Wow Michael what an amazing opportunity to stop, deeply look at your life and allow yourself to heal the disregard and start painting a new canvas for yourself and your life. Awesome that you have embraced it openheartedly. Very inspiring for other men.

292. ” I can’t heal unless I drop the mask. ” Absolutely Michael unless we are prepared to show our all in every aspect of our lives….warts and all as they say, we can never truly heal. I love the way you have embraced your cancer and seen it as a new start, a blank canvas, leaving all your old ways of being behind and looking at your life with fresh eyes.

     1. Yeah, dropping the mask is key to healing. Great thing about Universal Medicine is that they provide a safe environment that makes it so much easier to
        a) feel what is the mask and what is of truth and
        b) trust and let go.

        1. This simply cannot be stated enough Felix. As an assistant-facilitator at some of the courses that Universal Medicine presents, I get to have the most amazing viewpoint of so many masks being dropped, by many, many people… And the true beauty of people thus being able to shine out from deep within…
           Plus experience upon experience of dropping my own masks…
           That there is an organisation that instills such a depth of trust and safety as does Universal Medicine, and its director and founder Serge Benhayon, is priceless beyond measure.

293. Michael, I am reading your beautiful and amazing blog in bits as it is quite strong. Right now I am considering how the catheter got there in the first place… Sometimes anaesthesia is really a blessing!

     1. So true – and if I may digress all the anaesthetists during the course of my operations and probings have been amazingly gentle and caring – still doesn’t explain how the catheter got there though

        1. The Catheter Man – there’s a spooky ghost story in there…that could haunt the corridors of hospitals! Your sweet humour amongst all of this Michael is so special.

        2. Delightfully funny Michael, you say what so many have rarely dared to speak out loud 🙂

        3. Hilarious! love it.

294. ‘Here is the moment when I can discover what true healing is….that’s the preparation, the getting completely naked and open and surrendered. I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ This is such a powerful realisation and one which would be of unmeasurable benefit to all those who are receiving treatment for health conditions, enabling them also allow true healing to take place.

     1. Yes Michael Chater, it is a powerful statement you’ve quoted from the blog… to understand that healing first requires a stripping back to honesty, ‘getting completely naked and open and surrendered’ is of unmeasurable benefit to us all. We are not taught, let alone shown by example, what it means to truly heal… and so for most, it remains an inconvenient misfortune that medicine and it’s allied counterparts should be obliged to ‘fix’.

295. Thank you Michael for sharing on such a very intimate subject. You describe well the true healing that occurs when we develop cancer or any other illness for that matter.

     1. Yes Elizabeth – it truly is a blessing to read such an account without the victim aspect to illness and disease. Michael is not asking for sympathy or judging his circumstance. He embraces it with tenderness and a willingness to learn all about himself in the process. This is indeed true and active healing – a real inspiration.

        1. Rachel, Elizabeth; the total absence of any sense of the “oh, poor me” is in itself such a huge learning for anyone reading this piece. Guilt, sympathy, blame, victim, martyr…any of these escapes prevent the amazing opportunities for healing that Michael has opened himself up to.

        2. Yes ottobathurst very true, to embrace healing as Michael has done requires 100% responsibility for the choices that led to his condition. Guilt, sympathy, blame, victim and martyr, as you say, are all symptomatic that responsibility is being shirked somewhere.

        3. Beautifully said Rachael and all. This is the power of what Michael has shared and is clearly living in his life. If we read the story of a ‘victim’ here it would not truly touch us and inspire so deeply. The grace with which he has shared everything here calls us all to truly heal, and embrace who we are way beyond ‘what we do’.

296. It’s easy to see how men and women are living these days just with the high levels of cancer cases reported. It would be rare these days to find a family who hasn’t had some form of cancer within one or more of its family members – in my family alone we have five members (that’s the ones I know of) who have died of some form of cancer and that’s only going back to my grandparents.
     This is why articles like this are so important – cancer is real and it is here to tell us something about how we are living.

297. “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.” Love this sentence as you offer to question the so called “normal” we are living and that illness and disease has a relationship with how we live and is not something that hits us with no clear reason. We have normalized a “normal” that is making us sick, exhausted, overweight, depressed, horrendously abusive toward ourselves and others and when we get the opportunity to stop and look at how we are living we wish nothing more than going back to how it was before….. how crazy is that? Normal can only be called what is in line with our divine essence and on the path of evolution.

298. “My canvas doesn’t need paint on it – what it needs is a reflection and a living commitment. This will be my magic and my art.” What a gorgeous vision for life.

     1. Yes agreed Jonathan, a quote worthy of note… to understand the picture we paint is by a living commitment to the grandness we are. Now that’s an art show l’ll be lining up to see.

     2. Absolutely with you on this Jonathan – gorgeous.

299. “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.” A powerful statement Michael said with conviction. It is only when we take responsibility for our illness can we then take the step towards true healing. Thank you for being such an inspiration Michael and for sharing your understanding of the root cause of prostate cancer.

300. What a beautiful and inspiring way to embrace prostate cancer, Michael you are a true inspiration to all those men out there.

     1. An immense inspiration, and a blog worth going viral to support all men.

        1. I agree Heather. This blog has the power to support so many people. Not only is it incredibly honest, but the beautiful way in which it is written leaves me feeling like I just had an intimate chat with Michael as he opens his heart and shares such a deeply personal experience.

        2. Yes I agree Heather, this blog is ground-breaking and needs to be widely available to men and women everywhere…

301. I am looking forward to seeing how how this blank canvas develops over the years ahead, I’m sure it will be a beautiful priceless masterpiece.

     1. With a bit of help from Leonard da Vinci?

        1. An ever-changing and evolving canvas equal and beyond to any ‘Da Vinci’ by virtue of the depth of commitment to loving self, life and all that is clearly at your core Michael Nicholson.

302. ‘I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal’. This is such an important point you bring up Michael. Healthcare strives to return people back to doing what they normally did prior to becoming sick, but I feel this is the part that I can’t agree on. Yes, we want to return to function as best we can, especially if you break your arm, but how can we be the same after undergoing any illness, injury or surgery. It is an opportunity to embrace a new normal if we are prepared to see and feel the healing that it brings. Sickness is an opportunity to change. Accepting the ‘different you’ is the part that people struggle with and for some reason miss this almighty opportunity to evolve and heal themselves. The body gives us great direction during the recovery phase of any health problem and so it is well worth listening.

     1. Thank you Matthew and other commentators for this reference back to the ‘Normal’. At the time it felt as though this was part of a health practitioner’s obligation – to get someone back to ‘normal’ and it was the answer to the time it had taken for the bits of me to knit together. But if and when you know that the cancer is a healing and an opportunity to change, then the burden of going backwards to an old ‘normal’ evaporates. Result surrender and we can all evolve.

        1. Immensely great wisdom in the understanding that the “normal” most of us live is actually detrimental to who we are. Establishing a new normal that includes love, space and care is a path for all of us to continually walk.

        2. How tremendous this would be on film Otto. And powerful that you gave such a reflection to your medical professionals Michael – when they are under such tremendous pressure to restore everyone to a ‘normal’ that doesn’t serve anyone at all.

     2. I agree Matthew…it is bizarre how ‘illness, injury or surgery’ is seen as a weakness, the body has suddenly failed us…when in fact it has probably been telling us for many years that things are not working and need to change but we have chosen to over-ride and or ignore the messages. And therefore, an ‘illness, injury or surgery’ is indeed “an opportunity to embrace a new normal if we are prepared to see and feel the healing that it brings. Sickness is an opportunity to change,” to embrace the new you and to make more loving choices from here on…what a beautiful gift our bodies are offering us!

     3. I love this too … “”new normal” is a reminder that we are saying no to the old and recognising a greater quality of care to live with.

     4. Well said Matthew – our body needs to be the number one reference point during a recovery. My experience is that this is such an important part of the healing process.

303. Michael it was an honour to read of your very open and honest journey with prostate cancer. Most inspiring is what you have re-connected to again and the loving care you are holding your body in while you heal. This needs to be shared far and wide as it so beautifully shows how powerful listening to our body and looking at past choices lovingly can support true healing. Your tenderness and fragility is palpable in your writing and I love your ‘new normal’.

     1. I second your words Aimee. I honour the deep healing Michael has gone through and is now able to share this with all of us. Thank you Michael.

        1. I third this. What a humbling piece of writing that reminds us of the power we have within us all to surrender.

     2. So true Aimee. I love the openness and honesty with which Michael shares his experience. I love that he takes responsibility for his health and claims his new normal.

304. ‘The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.’ I love your response here Michael and even more so, how wonderful that your consultant agreed with you. You were obviously in very understanding hands.

     1. I agree Michelle this is awesome. So many people want a quick fix to go back to their normal life never for once considering that their normal life is what put them in their current ill health in the first place. I love that Michael claims he has a new normal.

305. I so agree Robyn !!!

306. Yes Elizabeth. Michael’s sharing is very powerful and inspiring and will be deeply supportive to many men who may be undergoing treatment for prostate cancer, and even to those who wish to take more of an active role in their own health and wellbeing. Michael, your openness and honesty here is very touching, and it is beautiful to feel you expressing in this way – with all of you. Thankyou.

307. “I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?”
     I love the analogy you have used Michael as do I love the very beautiful and tender way you have expressed in this blog.
     What a wonderful learning opportunity which you have embraced wholeheartedly, this is so inspirational, thank you Michael.

     1. Bernadette I also love Michael’s blank canvas analogy. It speaks to all of us.

     2. I agree bernadetteglass. An inspirational approach to healing and dealing with a life changing diagnosis and major surgery. I love the openness with which Michael shares.

        1. It is Michael’s openness Lee that I’d like to see ‘out there’ in Men’s Health arenas, via his blog. I am certain it would begin to break down those ‘tough’ stereotypes that keep this tenderness held back when all men are just like Michael!

308. I agree Elizabeth, this was such a beautiful piece to read. It brought me to my own series of stops, and allowing to feel the tenderness Michael has opened himself up to feeling. This tenderness can be with us all, if we allow it, and deeply supported in children so they do not lose it as they grow up. Thank you Michael for expressing about this – it is hugely important for men, women and those with cancer alike.

309. “The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next” – so infinitely healing Michael, your words so lovingly understanding, practical and full of knowing.

     1. Yes, it is very beautiful to feel the expanse of a limitless horizon within the context of loving responsibility in our lives today and all of our choices.

     2. I love this blank canvas that is endless. We can paint it anew each day.

310. What a completely beautiful blog Michael, so honest, and touching…with such fragility, love the way you write, thank you for sharing this and your journey in having prostate cancer. This line here: “but I had not changed from the role that I had been brought up to live and which had carried me upwards but was destined to abandon me and drop me downwards with injury and illness – destined to learn what is true” – is so universally true and aptly spotlights potential consequences in living a life that is conditioned by belief, instead of ‘the naked true-self’. It’s messages within this post are applicable to us all – that of learning the way of the body, and all its preciousness.

311. “now it was time to live a different way, to live in a way that would be in brotherhood with all.” I couldn’t agree more. This is how we are meant to live and what we are here to learn, so we can return to where we came from: divine love.

312. “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.” Powerful statement, Michael. Our bodies just have to get sick when this is how we treat them. Being just me is all that is ever needed and all we try to do is deny that and try to prove the opposite.

313. ‘…because that’s all part of it, that’s the preparation, the getting completely naked and open and surrendered. I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ This aspect of the process feels key Michael; the surrendering, dropping of the mask. Your physical nakedness is also an analogy for what you allowed within – to really strip down to the truth of your absolute beauty and accept this as who you are. I can’t tell you how powerful reading this experience is Michael. It’s a healing and an invitation for self development for anyone who reads it.

     1. I agree Bern, this post is true self-development, and not a test paper or book in sight. Just connection to the body and its communication.

        1. It is revolutionary Zofia. I have been taken by Michael’s blog in a big way. He has touched on the breaking of a consciousness for men that cannot and will not stop here on WordPress or whatever platform this is!

314. Michael this is a truly inspiring blog which paves the way for men to deal with a common disease such as prostate cancer. I love your practical, down to earth, vulnerable, open way of talking about your experience. Very uncommon for a man to be so open. Thank you.

     1. Yes, this is what also struck me as well marylouisemyers, it is so uncommon for a man to be so open, and is what i loved most about this particular post. It’s showed me the real strength and beauty of a man surrendered to his sensitivity, his openness and warmth no different to a woman’s and equally exquisite in all its divinity.

        1. Agree Zofia, Michael’s sensitivity, openness, vulnerability, warmth, appreciation of others is no different to a woman’s. It is an absolute credit to the changes Michael has been choosing to implement into his life.

315. Cancer is something I here of almost everyday. Rarely someone writes and talks about it as surrendered as you do, Michael. It feels like you broke not only one convention. Thank you.

316. Thank you Michael, for sharing your inspiring journey of healing. You say ‘The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.’ You’ve nailed it.

     1. “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal.”
        Isn’t it weird your consultant wants to get you back to ‘normal’? He should be the one confirming your new normal.

        1. Indeed Monika – from all angles we are being championed to get back to normal. Like a fast track back to illness and disease.

317. And here is another revelatory sentence from Michael: “The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next.” True Medicine and Healing does not only concern itself with our current body and life but sees the bigger picture. Once we open up to this a lot of things will start to make sense such as how babies can present with certain diseases.

318. Michael I thought this line in itself was a standout: “The consultant tells me he’ll have me back to normal in 3 months; I thank him and say that I don’t wish to go back to normal – that I have a ‘new’ normal. And he concurs.” What an absolute gift for the consultant to hear that and what a revelation for the world and gift of true medicine and healing it would be if that was widely understood and lived. What do we call and accept as normal these days? Do we call it normal to drink alcohol, to feel exhausted, to be overweight, to argue with our partners, to be less than truly vital and so on? Do we accept a lesser way of being because everyone else is like that, or we are a little better than someone else or we have given up and accepted this as our way of being? Do we use the word normal to make what is not true and not acceptable apparently ok or even desirable? Hence we in effect say to someone who has been living in a way that has got them sick, we will soon patch up your body so that you can go back to living your harmful ways. How awesome of you to claim that you have learnt from your body and no longer accept those ways of living as “your normal”.

     1. I’m sure this would have been like a breath of fresh air for the consultant hearing Michael’s reply. Commonly doctors would be presented with desperation from patients to fix them and get them back to their ‘normal’. At a recent gynaecologist appointment my doctor looked at me and said ‘most women come in and want me to fix something, so what do you want fixed?’… My whole body felt strong and still and I replied saying that there is nothing that needs fixing I’ve come to have a checkup to support my body. A huge smile spread across his face and he sat back in his chair and went great well that is what I can support you with. It then felt like the doctor and I were working together.

        1. What a gorgeous sharing Aimee, I can feel what a breath of fresh air that would have been for your doctor and a confirmation for him of what true medicine is.

        2. Beautiful Aimee and I could feel the true equality that you invited in the exchange with your gynaecologist – you minimised the power imbalance immediately when you claimed your worth and demonstrated your responsibility for yourself! Powerful.

        3. Thank you Bernadette for deepening this. Something huge shifted for me and I would say for the Doctor as well… very clear in his body language. When I left the consultation room and looked in the mirror, for the first time, I saw and felt the absolute beauty I hold and we all hold inside. Highlighting how powerful we are when we take responsibility for our health and wellbeing.

319. Michael this is a truly awesome and inspiring blog on so many levels. Every part of it is full of insights and support for men and women. It really jumped out at me when you said you were: “too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me”. I thought that was really interesting because it is something I regularly hear women saying and in particular women who get breast cancer. Shows how we are all the same men and women with the same sensitivities and caring, even if we express slightly differently at times.

     1. Another sentence like the one above that stood out for me was: “I had overplayed the father role, taking on too much and blaming myself for incidents and situations that were really a result of other people’s choices” – this is something I too have been looking at recently. I have been feeling how irresponsible it is of me to take responsibility for others people’s actions as that is impossible. I have been looking into whole new levels of accepting people’s choices and not going into sympathy or trying to “help” others. The more I am able to let go of these misunderstandings the more I am able to be of true service to others and offer them true love and “help”. This false way of “helping” actually harms everyone.

     2. What you’ve just said there Nicola is pure gold – it’s great to look at what brings us all together

        1. Yes, we are all from the same essence and deep down we know and miss that. There is always that pull to be one so perhaps that is one of those things that triggers us to “do too much for others” as we so often want to help each other and take away hurts etc and avoid our own. However, that does not work and we can’t “do it” for another – they have to return by their own choice. The only way we can truly “help” another is to live and express from our essence (simply be who we are) and offer them a reflection of the true love they too are.

320. ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ What an incredible realisation Michael and a beautiful sharing for us all.

     1. Such an open and touching blog! I love how you wrote: “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.” It feels ever so naked to drop all the guards and protective layers and show us in our tenderness to the world.

        1. And yet when we meet someone who is ‘naked’ in this way all we see is their inner beauty shining out

        2. Yes, Jane, and the strength and power shines out too.

321. You are right Jane – Michael’s sharing is not only about prostate cancer, it is a testimony, how to deal with diseases in general. From Michael’s experiences we can learn so much, he is a role model for the future.

322. ‘it’s for me to stop not only physically but also deeply letting go and allowing others to do what I would previously, naturally and expectedly, have leapt up to do for them or with them or on their behalf.’ A great realisation and a call for a deeper healing. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. I feel this article will be a great support and inspiration to many other men and women.

     1. I agree Elaine, this article offers a huge support to many. It’s beautiful how Michael shared that through the physical stop the cancer brought he has opened up to being more aware of how he lives and letting go of old behaviours that on closer inspection don’t feel true.

323. Thanks Michael for sharing your experiences so honestly. It is a very sensitive topic for a lot of men and you give us so many valuable insights, what it means to be diagnosed with prostate cancer.

324. Thank you for sharing your story and discussing the some of the roles that you have taken on. It has shown me that I hadn’t really thought much about the roles that men take on beyond the obvious provider role “role of the father for family, friends, colleagues and employees, doing lots for everyone else without stopping or just being the tender man I am and feeling that was enough”. No wonder the tenderness of men gets driven underground deep into their bodies.

325. I have been going through some stuff…. and as an artist I have a few too many canvases hanging around and I was thinking about painting over them, but after reading your blog I will let them go and start fresh.

326. ‘The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next ‘. So, so beautiful.

327. Awesome blog, I can relate to having a catheter out and having to learn how to pee again… it’s an interesting thing getting to know these parts of our body more closely.
     I also loved how you said you could not go back to living normal, and that things had to change. I had a similar remark from my doctor, saying that I could continue living as I was and I thought to myself, no way… the whole time in hospital was a big stop and if I were to continue as before I would be missing a big opportunity to change.

328. Michael I was deeply moved by your words. Your expression is exquisite. There is a gentle rolling humour underneath your story, there is outstanding eloquence, there is abundant wisdom, there is an Englishness and a humbleness and there is a very deep beauty all coming from you. You felt closer than touch.

     1. Alexis I am moved by how clearly you have read Michael’s expression. Beautiful and very inspiring.

     2. I absolutely agree with you, Alexis, and I love how you have expressed it, especially your: “You felt closer than touch.”

     3. Alexis what a “love letter” you have shared here and by expressing it so openly you pass on the same quality. “You felt closer than touch”

     4. Stunning expression Alexis – you have captured Michael to a tee.

     5. Alexis – such words are so very deep. Thank you for your love and support.

329. “I would have really freaked out if it hadn’t been for everything that I had heard from Serge Benhayon.” That is the great thing about Universal Medicine. It gives us an understanding of life and disease that makes pure sense to me. The problems that manifest physically in our bodies are reflections of something that is already happening to us energetically through being stuck in old destructive patterns of not dealing with old hurts and emotions. Knowing this and the fact that the reason we are here to heal these hurts and come back to the love that we are, puts a different spin on illnesses, which makes it much easier to deal with than the common belief that a lot of it is down to bad luck and genetics.

     1. Agree Jane, to discover and live the beauty of responsibility has been life changing.

330. Deeply touched by this Michael – what has struck me in reading this is the reality that if we do not change our ways of living our bodies tell us clearly. I had a cry after reading this for I can feel such a momentum in my body. Like I cannot get off the train. Time to deeply take stock.

     1. Hi Lee, Michael’s blog allows us to feel the train ride many of us are on and calls us to STOP and feel what is really going on inside, to honour and value this before all else.

        1. The point you make marylouisemyers is in and of itself a STOP moment. ‘…feel what is really going on inside, to honour and value this before all else.’ It is the value this before all else that I am starting to get a sense of, even if it is just the slightest shaft of light.

     2. Beautifully said Lee. What Michael offers is a stop moment for all and the vulnerability with which he expresses allows us to feel our own tenderness and when we feel how precious we are we can feel the abuse we have chosen by staying on the train.

        1. Beautifully expressed rachelandras.

     3. Thank you Lee for expressing this – a true reflection and healing for all.

     4. Marika so true we are here as inspiration to each other as well as deeply caring brothers and sisters supporting as we go.

331. Michael, I can feel your gentleness and growing tenderness with yourself in the expressing of your blog, which makes its message very powerful as it is written from your truth, and the way you are changing your life as you discover and explore your deeper self… I am interested in your mention of your wife, and it being more difficult being the carer. I experienced this with my late husband, and found that I lost practically all sense of myself, and any gentleness and tenderness I may have had at that time, in the ceaseless anxiety and effort of “being there” for him.

     Now, having met Universal Medicine, I know the true way would be to support and care for me first and remain connected to my heart; if I had been able to do that back then, then I would have also been able to love and support him in a tender and gentle way, and he also would have been more tender and gentle with himself. A life threatening illness certainly brings up many of the buried issues in ourselves, and if recognised as such, is a wonderful opportunity to clear all that stuff and heal, as you, (and I am sure your wife too), are doing.

     1. This is very revealing Joan and important that we can engage with others who have experienced these issues – not for ourselves but so that we can share with others who have yet to experience them so that they may be better prepared for what’s ahead. And yes a huge thank you to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for showing the way.

332. “The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next.” I love this sentence. It highlights that there is far more beyond what we perceive as physical life on this planet, and the life we live within.

333. Thank you for your honest and open account of your experience with prostate cancer, Michael. People all over suffering from cancer could learn a lot from this, by seeing that cancer is not there to be ‘suffered’ as such, but to be embraced as an opportunity to clear and heal old patterns and hurts, and start new beginnings.

     1. Well said Eleanor – cancer or any sort of illness is not ‘bad luck’ or a punishment that needs to be suffered, it is a great opportunity to take a look at the way we live our lives and let go of that which is not serving us. This will in turn offer a true healing, which is not necessary always looking the way we would expect it to.

334. There is such a beautiful sensitivity to you Michael and the way that you write about your experiences. I can feel a steadiness and an acceptance that is truly inspiring and offers us all a sense of oneness that opens us all to the truly tender and gentle man that you are.

335. If ever there was a testimony to be read about prostate cancer for other men to read and be inspired by, this is it. This is an amazing open, honest sharing, that once again reveals to all that Western Medicine and the Esoteric healing modalities can work hand in hand together. As you clearly and gently express Michael “you have felt the healing every inch of the way” from the constant busyness of your life to now appreciate the amazing support around you as you now live, reflect and commit to life in full. With or without the odd speed bump that serves to remind us of our choices constantly.

336. Beautiful Michael and an amazing journey to share, thank you.

337. Michael, your honest account of what was a very stressful period in your life has touched me deeply, and as I read I went from smiling, to being very tear-full, to being very inspired. I love how you took each step of this path in the full knowing of what was unfolding, and the “team” you had supporting you; the Benhayon family, your medical professionals, Esoteric practitioners and of course your wonderful family, is nothing short of the most amazing team anyone could ever want working alongside them at a time like this. It is a great example of the power of the healing that comes from the combination of Western Medicine and Esoteric Medicine, and the choice you have made to take full responsibility for your life.

338. A truly inspiring blog for all men. The honesty, sensitivity and tenderness with which you write Michael is palpable, demonstrating that being vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness.

     1. Agree Jonathon, vulnerability is extremely necessary for men to get used to feeling if we are to arrest the damaging way most men live their lives. Vulnerability is a necessary step when we have chosen to protect ourselves from the world by choosing not to feel. Yet vulnerability itself is not the end game, but a bridge to our true power, which comes from being willing to open up and feel the whole world for what it is, what it could be, and what it is not. And when we get used to that, vulnerability no longer is needed, for we have no longer hardened to the world. In other words, vulnerability is simply something we feel because we are not used to feeling. Get used to feeling, and you no longer feel vulnerable, just aware, and then you are aware of how powerful living like that truly is.

        1. That is beautiful Adam, to feel is absolutely what we are here for, from there the possibilities are endless.

        2. Well said Adam, in a world of feeling there is no vulnerability as there is no need for protection. “Vulnerability is simply something we feel because we are not used to feeling”. Once we surrender our true power unfolds.

        3. Thank you Adam, for expressing your perspective on vulnerability, it has deepened my understanding of the word and the process we need to go through until we get used to feeling and are able to live fully aware.

     2. Very true Jonathan, we often perceive our vulnerability to be a weakness, but the power of Michael’s tenderness is very palpable indeed. This quality resides within us all and yet we are never raised to honour it. It is truly inspiring to witness men re-claiming their true tenderness, what a blessing it is for us all when expressed with the immense innocence and sweetness that Michael has, it brings us home to something very precious within.

        1. This is so true Jonathan and Adam and I really appreciate what you both say about vulnerability and thank you Rowena for expanding on this.

339. Yes a beautiful blog from a beautiful and deeply caring man. An inspiring read to the end. It isn’t just the content that inspires but the quality in which it is written – gorgeously gentle and light.

340. Thank you Michael for sharing such an intimate, vulnerable journey through a very an uncertain process with such grace and humour. What really jumps out is how differently you were able to address your situation and engage in very unusual conversations because of everything that Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon, his family, colleagues and your friends have enabled you to truly feel, your exquisite tenderness as a man and the way you have over ridden this. What is so fundamental here is that at no time do you look to blame anything or attempt to do battle with the cancer, reactions that can be so common in our approach to this illness. You bring such a deeply beautiful innocence to the whole issue of prostate cancer and how much one has to surrender to the help and support from other people in order to treat this disease deep within a very intimate part of your body. Coupled with the eye watering descriptions of what you had to endure is your playful appreciation of why and how you arrived in this situation in the first place and the realisation of the deep healing being offered by it. Our illnesses and disease all arise from our choices to ‘climb back on the Express Train’ in order to live out those roles we have been raised to deliver. What an immense revelation and true gift to us all, may your canvas now reflect the true loveliness you are and shine a ‘new normal’ for us all to benefit by.

341. Michael, wow – thank you for sharing your experience. This is a very sensitive topic for so many men today and what you’ve shared is so incredibly valuable. What shines through your writing is your willingness to take complete responsibility for the choices you have made which led to this ‘stop’ moment. It’s so inspirational and in complete contrast to how we generally view and react to illness and disease in our society, where it’s often viewed as an inconvenience, unfortunate and devastating. In this we fail to see and embrace the opportunity to truly heal as you have clearly done. There is so much for us all to learn here – thank you.

342. The point made about the people around cancer patients is a valid one – it affects not just the patient, but the whole family. The uncertainty, the fear of loss, the ‘what can I do to help?’. It is a big lesson in letting go of control of others, because each has their own path of return to tread and we can be with them, and support them, but we cannot make choices for them.

     1. Thank you Carmel – important not to control but important to appreciate I feel.

343. Michael It is beautiful to feel your tenderness and vulnerability in our lives so honestly and the deep changes this has allowed and an ever evolving real depth of love being felt honoured and lived in our family. An amazing sharing for the world that is very powerful and brings the truth of healing to all who read it.

     1. I agree Tricia and am always touched by how both you and Michael open up your hearts and home to so many such that more and more and eventually everyone becomes a part of your ever growing and expanding family!

        1. I agree Nicola, I always have a feeling of going home when I visit Tricia and Michael.

        2. Thank you Nicola this is so gorgeous. It reminds me that two of the sisters in the hospital, having watched a succession of people visiting said ‘You certainly have a large family’ and I had to agree.

     2. Michael’s tenderness and vulnerability are deeply felt in this incredibly valuable and inspiring article and I totally agree Tricia that this is ” An amazing sharing for the world that is very powerful and brings the truth of healing to all who read it.”

344. Michael this article is very inspiring and definitely a subject which deserves more discussion in a way which is both open and honest – more articles like this should be displayed in the GP’s waiting room.

345. This stands out for me: “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask” – and I find myself sometimes choosing the mask over healing…good to get some blank canvases as a reflection, that IT IS possible to drop the mask and the world will not break down by me doing so as well. But of course my world will change..but is this not what I want?! I have to ask myself this next time I found myself holding on to a mask – ‘what do I really want to hold on to here?’.

     1. I agree Sandra – sometimes the mask is on before I know it.. The great thing I realise is that rather than hanging on to it, I am learning to quickly acknowledge it and let it go.

        1. Great Eva! And I found my body is my strongest ally here. I see much evolvement in the honor of my body reflections.

346. I also appreciated your acknowledgment of your partner’s situation. When we are ill, we are being taken care of whereas our loved ones and the ones who stand by with all the uncertainty, it is important to acknowledge this.

     1. So true, Michelle. When one person is ill in the family, everyone feels it and has their own process with it that they need to deal with. It really is an opportunity for all to heal in some way.

        1. Yes Robyn, it does offer healing for all in all different ways.

        2. Yes, Michelle, because the healing that we require is deeply personal so it is different for everyone.

        3. And how we actually choose to deal with our illness will affect how those around us deal with and learn from their experience of it.

        4. Very true, Rosemary.

     2. I agree ladies, what can come up for either person in a relationship where one is ill may be different but they both need to be supported and honoured equally so.

     3. The role of carer is definitely worth considering. I’m spending a lot of time with a family member at the moment and there is so much that her illness brings up in me… but I discount it becuase it is ‘nothing’ compared to what she is suffering. I am sure this is a very common experience, but it is hugely dishonouring and if I don’t look after myself, I’m not going to be much use to them!

        1. Simon I see this all the time, carers literally putting there own needs and health off because their family members health needs are placed first. This does not work, as you have rightly said. Sometimes I feel that we focus so much on the caring, to keep us busy so we don’t have to look at what their illness is exposing for us. This maybe related to us or accepting the choices that their family member has made themselves. That’s a biggy.

347. ‘ And by stopping, I suddenly realised that I had the most amazing blank canvas and I could work my magic on it in whatever way I truly chose to live.’ We can weigh ourselves down with appointments and schedules and when quite suddenly our body puts a halt to all that, the weight lifts and we are left to feel all that led us to this point and we are free to make different choices. A blank canvas is a very apt description.

     1. I had another look at the blank canvas just recently when my wife decided to clear out a lot of my old clothes because so many were truly huge – and, what surprised me was that, for the first time ever, I didn’t resist. It felt like yet more splodges removed and what was revealing was that I found some lovely clothes that were almost new and I hadn’t worn them because I was saving them for another time aka not being worthy – and now they no longer fit. That’s a learning.

348. ‘I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.’ I love this very simple, yet profound statement Michael.

     1. Me too Michelle, such a simple statement but so profound.

349. “The canvas has no end because it rolls over the horizon from this world to the next and from this life to the next. The speed bumps aren’t visible, but they’re there and I already feel myself being caught up in things that may trip me up – but half the battle is to see these happening and call foul and start over, one step forward at a time.” Our canvas – our choices. Thankyou for such a beautiful honest and open sharing of your life – now as a blank canvas waiting to unfold. Your tenderness is palpable.

350. Michael beautiful to hear your true voice and vulnerability as you share with us your journey back to self and healing after prostate cancer. Your openness is stunning and will inspire and give insight to many including those faced with life-threatening illness. What comes through for me is the importance of letting go, complete surrender and just being with yourself. A huge transition for someone who has held so many responsibilities over so many years. I love the picture you paint of you with your blank canvass and in no rush to fill it. Glorious!

351. I like the picture of speed bumps on our way and that they are necessary – if life would be totally easy we would not need to be here. In fact there is so much ‘wrong’ in this world, if my life would be easy and without any challenges I would guess that I am disconnected from the whole. Yes, life can become very simple and maybe also easy in a way if we take our responsibility and live in awareness of what is going on and take our part. But it is then far away from the glamour and illusion, which is so propagated by media as the ‘wish my life to be like that’. The bumps call us to the ground and to honesty – if we mastered that life and supported all others to do so as well – then we can fly again and leave this bumps behind.

352. There is an incredible sweetness to the way that Michael writes about his life now.

     1. I agree, Shami, the sweetness is very palatable.

     2. Yes Shami, there is very much so, sweet and tender.

353. Thank you, Michael, for your generosity in sharing this profound experience, your exquisite tenderness and re-connection to the divine in your life. It is indeed our choice in each moment to feel this and be inspired by it in everyday life, and I love the spaciousness of the canvas and the potential for magic to be ever present.

     1. Janet your words here express what I too feel. I found this a very heart warming read.

     2. Very true Janet. Michael has been very generous in telling his story. This needs to be in men’s health magazines for all men to read and feel how open and vulnerable Michael has been and deepened throughout his recovery process.

     3. Beautifully expressed Janet, I was deeply touched by Michael’s generosity in sharing his profound experience so openly and tenderly, a very inspiring sharing indeed.

354. And another thing – I’ve just recently started an investigation into my ‘PSA’. Like you I’ve been inspired by Serge to take a more active interest in my health, recently checking my Cholesterol just as a routine rather than because anything was wrong. What was great is I’ve learnt alot more about my PSA from reading this article. Early assessment and prevention are so important and as you have written here – there is so much we can do for ourselves in how we choose to live, and what we choose to be aware of.

     1. I agree Simon. I didn’t know about PSA levels but Michael explains this in a really understandable and simple way.

     2. Yes I had never heard of PSA levels before reading this blog. Michael has managed to make his blog very educational on so many levels.

     3. How fantastic Simon that you have been inspired by Michael to take a more active interest in your health and wellbeing. The tenderness and vulnerability through which Michael has shared his profound journey is deeply touching and truly inspiring for all.

     4. I didn’t know anything about PSA even after I’d had my first test over 3 years ago. It was just three letters and there was often a sceptical view on how effective the test was – but the thing is that I should have taken an interest because it’s my health and how I am affects so many people. So I learnt and I learnt that it pays to have an annual test – the level is an indicator but any changes from previous results are equally important if not more revealing indicators. Go for it Simon.

355. This is awesome Michael. Can’t tell you how deeply appreciative I am for what you have written here as it informs me on many different levels… the way I live, my health, true support, how to go about a recovery… and a reminder of the blank canvas and the choices that we all have available to us.

     1. I agree, its a great learning for men of any age to be more aware.

356. It’s amazing how patient our body is when it attempts to slow us down and allows us to look at how we have been living. When we ignore what is telling us, it just speaks louder. Michael you are one of the lucky ones that have heard what is being told to you… there are so many that never listen.

     1. Our body speaks to us loudly in many ways, sometimes through illness, and also sometimes through emotional trauma. In both cases it is wise to listen as there is a pot of gold waiting to be uncovered so our everyday love and care can be present.

357. What a powerful blog. Thank you for sharing Michael…what an inspiration you are.

     1. It is powerful blog, Jody, very powerful in fact, as you can feel that Michael has not only treated the cancer with the available medical treatments, but he has also taken responsibility for feeling what he needed to change in his life to support himself to recover and not repeat the patterns that lead to the ill health in the first place. Pretty amazing really!

        1. I agree totally, Robyn, it is only through taking responsibility for our choices and making the necessary changes, just as Michael has, that we can change the patterns that lead to illness in the first place. That we hold the key to our own health and wellbeing really is pretty amazing.

        2. It is amazing “that we hold the key to our own health and wellbeing…” Rosemary, and how our world will change when this is more widely known and embraced.

        3. This will be the accepted way in time…and yes there will be many changes in the world as we know it.

        4. It will be as we can not sustain the current way we are relating to the treatment of illness and disease. Something’s gotta give and soon.

        5. I agree Robyn….something’s gotta give and soon!

358. I got a bit teary, reading this beautiful account and feeling the tenderness and beauty in all their manly power. What indeed do we do to our boys so they can only rediscover it decades later, if at all?

     1. This is the challenge Gabriele and the other question is why do we do it to our boys? Much to explore here

     2. Oh, such important questions Gabriele and Michael! We know the deep and true feelings; the ‘at-home-ness’ of love and tenderness. To lose connection with these in favour of ‘tough and endurable’ is a tragedy and always results in some sort of dis-ease or another.

359. The way you write Michael is an absolute pleasure to read. It is gorgeous to feel you embracing the healing this has offered with a commitment to deeply surrender and trust your body to show you the next step…. and for your new normal to teach you what is there to be learnt. Amazing.

360. Michael this is a first and remarkably honest writing of your life and the choices we all make to over ride our natural way of being. To share this with the world is truly incredible.

361. Thank you so much Michael for sharing your experience. I know a number of men who have, and have had, prostate cancer and this has given me such an insight into the potential for healing on a much deeper level than simply getting back to ‘normal’. As you said, you have a ‘new normal’. It is so special to have the love and tenderness of those around you supporting you in this way as well…one day it will be seen as normal too. The more we choose to live this deep care for each other the sooner that day will come.

362. Michael this is spectacular. Thank you deeply for sharing your experiences with us, what you share supports us all and offers a way in true healing and what is possible when you surrender to the process and allow the learning.

363. I was reading this on the bus on the way to work this morning and was so moved by your vulnerability, honesty and power Michael, that tears sprang to my eyes (not good for the mascara!). I am blown away by your willingness to take responsibility, feel and surrender. Truly inspirational.

364. Thank you Michael for sharing all of you in your writing. It’s inspiring to feel your vulnerability and tenderness, shared with such gentle frankness, and how you’re now choosing a different way to live, in deep surrender to your body and all that it needs to heal.

365. Hello Michael and this, as has been said is a very open and detail account from you as a man. It’s great to see and will surely lead the way for us all to do the same. Not necessarily have prostate cancer but to share what is going on, really going on with us as men. As indicated we often default to shoulder the burden rather then taking into account what we are feeling and sharing from there. A great sharing and keep us updated with the recovery.

366. A very tender sharing from a very tender loving man. Thank you Michael for opening up and talking about prostate cancer, it was very inspiring to read.

367. Seldom I have read or heard a story about cancer like this. The honesty you share but especially the honesty with yourself is stunning. I have not felt any resentment in your lines nor bitterness or blaming. Looking deep into the root cause of your illness helped you to go with what was needed and still is needed. Thank you Michael, for this blog.

368. Michael this blog is so tender and open, it is very inspiring. I still struggle to make the quality of my being the focus of my day, as apposed to what I get I can get done during the day and your blog is a reminder that simply being me is enough.

369. Thank you for writing this blog Michael with tenderness on a VERY sensitive subject but on something that affects so many.

370. Thank you Michael for sharing in this blog what it is to be a man: Strong and ready to face all challenges of life by being tender and caring and willing to change behaviours and so much understanding for yourself. And from that what you share with everyone is just pure gold.

     1. Love that Joost – strong and tender in the same sentence. On the one hand it seems like an oxymoron, but then just consider how a tree is when it can bend and move in the wind… its ability to respond to what is going on being the strength, rather than breaking because it is unwilling to change.

371. Michael I am deepy touched with the openness and sharing of your story and very much appreciated and enjoyed the lightness, honesty and the humour with which you let us into what can be a vulnerable and scary time. I learned a lot from reading the blog about what men go through in relation to prostate issues and feel I have a deeper understanding and appreciation of all men as a result. Thank you.

372. Michael, it’s beautiful to read your strength through your sensitivity, a real inspiration for not only men, but women also.

373. ‘ I’m still learning the surrender and need to trust in this.’ A lesson for all. Surrendering feels like it’s the hardest thing to do, but in fact it’s the first thing we learnt to do, so it’s as natural as the sky is blue…we just need to remember that.

     1. and practice ; )

374. Thank You Michael for bringing your healing And reflection out to us all . A very touching article And I hope very Soon , it will be out There In the big world too.

375. I’m with you here Jane, what struck me most is Michael’s level of honesty and surrender, and his willingness to see in full how his choices have impacted his body. Huge inspiration.

376. Michael this as a sharing of a deeply reflective man who has now come to realise the preciousness and importance of his relationship with himself. It is a classic read and one that showcases the way forward for men (and women) in their return to the tender and beautiful souls they (we) are. A true gift to society is this blog.

     1. Thank you Marika. When I read your comment I felt a deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. The truth about the purpose of our life is revealed and available to us here and now. The testament this is Michael Nicholson’s experience and his ‘new normal’.

377. I agree Jane, this blog is incredible. I will be reading this again and again as there is so much here offered to the readers to reflect, ponder and appreciate. Absolutely inspirational.

378. Thank you Michael, so beautiful to read of your experience in your journey back to you. Finding the depth of tenderness and care for yourself, not in the continual doing but in the being who you naturally are. It is a blog that would benefit all men to read, very inspiring.

379. Truly amazing Michael, it is a blessing and a healing to read your blog. Deeply inspiring and your words are like flecks of gold mirroring the incredible man you are. With deep appreciation for sharing so openly and eloquently, Thank you.

     1. Yes, to ‘deeply rest’ is a choice and an art and I have found that is easy to distract myself away from it, thinking there are more important things to ‘do.

380. ‘Deeply Rest’ are two words many of us know but choose to ignore – thank you Michael for sharing your experiences of prostate cancer, your approach to your personal healing is inspiring.

     1. I keep finding that to rest deeply is so much deeper than the deep I have known to date! It keeps evolving and therefore when we are ill or have surgery it really is an opportunity to revisit the level of rest our body is asking for.

381. Dear Michael, I’ve become still, humble and touched by all you’ve written here in such an open, innocent and honest way. Your sharing talks about so so many taboos within men. Verbal expressions, medical check ups, intimate sharing with your partner and discussing with friend, honesty about a ‘doing for others life’ rather than from the tender, loving, caring man that you – obviously – are. Thank you Michael. As others said, that this may inspire many men and women around the globe in dealing in a supportive and truly healing way with their cancer process.

     1. As you say Floris, this article needs to get out there, as it would be a great support for others to hear and feel how the experience could be.

        1. Dear Simon and Rebecca, it’s beautiful to read how we all deeply appreciate Michael’s courage to share so honestly and fragile about his experiences. I would say that it would be great if this experience could be read by all men that dealing with prostate cancer and that it would be published in Health Magazines. There are so many men (and women) that don’t have a clue that there’s a different way to cope and deal with such an illness as cancer is.

     2. Indeed this is a very touching blog that is very humbling, and will certainly be an inspiration to many.

     3. I really appreciate this Floris – it gives me much encouragement to take the next step and share more widely

        1. Dear Michael, I can feel your appreciation all through your comment. The world is blessed with such an amazing man that shares this so openly, which is the polar opposite of how this generation is raised. Thank you Michael.

382. A stunning sharing Michael, so valuable for all. Please share far and wide.

383. This is very beautiful to feel your openness and vulnerability in this writing Michael. Thank you for sharing so intimately with us.

384. I loved all of this blog and one of the many lines that stood out for me was “half the battle is to see these (speed bumps) happening and call foul and start over, one step forward at a time”. I often have an expectation that once I become aware of something that from then on in I will not stumble with that same thing anymore. Yet when I come back to the fact that I am learning, it takes away that pressure. I love the idea of calling foul and starting over.

385. Michael – this in incredible. You tell your story with such gentleness, surrender and responsibility.

386. Michael, it is absolutely amazing to read your story of you and your health, and how lovingly and gently you are examining what has happened, and what you have learnt from it, without judging or blaming. Learning that we are enough just being who we are is so much needed in this world, thank you for sharing so openly with us all, this is very important for many people to read.

387. By the way Michael, you’re hilarious!

388. You have presented so many great things in this Michael, and your wisdom is really shining through. You have shown us what is possible when it comes to having an illness, how we can have a relationship with that, how we can communicate with our doctors and seek true healing as well as fixing our body. This is a marvellous combination. It’s evident by all that you share that there is clearly another way of going about having illnesses, medical procedures and how that relates to our everyday living. As a Nurse I would love to see more patients like you!

     1. I agree Harry, Michael is a pioneer blazing a trail for the rest of us – laying down the foundations for what is possible when we are faced with illness and/or disease. It’s powerful to feel your comment from a nurse’s perspective. How different the work of those who care for us when we are sick would be if everyone was taking responsibility for their illness. I can imagine a hospital with no blame – now there’s an amazing feeling!

        1. Beautifully said Harry and Lucy, it is so valuable to make illness and disease a true healing process looking at every detail and it is amazing how Michael makes a blessing out of his disguise and instead of fighting with the circumstances gains deeper understanding from it.

389. Absolutely incredible blog Michael! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, a delight and you’re a fantastic writer! Love how you said this so clearly “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me”

     1. Agreed Harry this line by Michael is gold, “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me”. Without this understanding we are only offering fix its, till like Michael says he deals with the underlying issue we only get ill again.

     2. I agree, and I find the unemotional and responsible way Michael has been dealing with this amazing, a true healing.

390. “Don’t get me wrong but if the healing were easy I would learn nothing.” Well, you have hit the nail square on its head here Michael. Dear me there is much to love about medicine Michael, but it has created its own dilemmas. It’s very effective and simple solutions can make us feel that we are done and dusted with our problems…move on. But if we are moving on in the same way we moved towards the problem, what has really changed?
     It is the movement, the attitude, the level of regard that needs to be looked at and deeply explores, not the physical organ in isolation.
     Sometimes, we must lie in bed and dream….clear the canvas of its “splodges”, revealing the purity of the light that is the essence of us. If it takes what medicine calls “complications” to render us back to the simplicity…well then who are we to challenge that.
     What grace and inspiration you offer Michael.

391. It’s remarkable to read your words Michael and feel not once drop of blame, or splash of self-bashing. This picture you have painted is one of openness. You show us all that deeply resting and enjoying space is not an optional extra to do when things go ‘wrong’ but truly part of our everyday art.

     1. Initially I found it really hard to ‘deeply rest’ and even when I thought I was, I wasn’t, and the Benhayon family were quite clear on this – not in judgment but in showing me that I could go deeper – so this is part of my daily exploration

392. Michael, what a heart felt sharing from a deeply feeling man. This is gold for all men and needs to be shared widely. To understand that healing is not just physical is huge and your story illustrates this so well.

393. Wow Michael I love this blog. I love the commitment and acceptance and new beginning you are living. “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask”. I know from experience, although I have never had a serious condition, that if we don’t allow ourselves to feel vulnerable we can’t be honest with ourselves and if we can be honest we can’t make different choices. You have learned in such a hard way but there is such a grace and sweetness here that your experiences are supporting us all. Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a truly delightful read.

     1. Agreed Michelle, a true healing is only possible if we drop the mask, as Michael has so beautifully pointed out.

394. What a beautiful strong, vulnerable, reflective and honest blog Michael. It is great to read your story of life and what you took out of the diseases that appeared. What an inspiration!

395. I doubt if there is anything quite like this on the Internet. Raw and honest writing. Michael I so agree that an illness offers an opportunity to embrace change and to accept that because of it, we are being asked to be different because of the healing that it brings.

396. I agree Sandra that from this realisation Michael has so much wisdom to offer other men who live in such a way that is not nurturing of the tender men that they naturally are. The fight to get to the top, to toughen up contrary to their innate sensitivity, to be the providers, and having to prove themselves constantly is a sure recipe for illness and disease. I know that Michael’s story has the power to change the lives of many men.

397. Thank you very much Michael for this amazing, open and intimate sharing. Very inspiring to read a man expressing with so much tenderness and openness on the subject that is rarely discussed. It’s very humbling to feel the big love that you are that has propelled this writing to come forward. You offer so much here and one of the things that stood out for me is – “As the ones with the cancer we had something to do next, a sequence of planned events, a knowing of the next steps; whereas our partners felt all they had was uncertainty” – this is so true that cancer touches not only those who have it, but also so many around them, who also need support. Thank you, Michael.

     1. Yes Fumiyo – I’m sure that we can do something practical in terms of support for the ‘many around’ the one with the cancer or other illness. Thank you for highlighting this because it affected me a lot – time for me to take the discussion further

398. I Love the fact you started the journey of healing and reconnecting to your true manhood, with estrogen. There could not be a better way to show men that tenderness is our greatest strength.

     1. Great observation Joel! By connecting to his femaleness, Michael has been able to express as a true, tender and powerful man.

     2. Gorgeous Joel, that struck me also. Returning to true manhood by connecting to one’s tenderness. No mistake that gentlemen has been shortened to men – I look forward to the day we call all men gentlemen again out of the knowing that that is exactly what they are; gentle-men.

        1. This is very beautiful, when men don’t accept our gentleness we cut the gentle-man down to the expectations of being MAN… Thanks Laura B.

     3. There is such a symbolism here! A great point to have clocked Joel. For a man to honour his tenderness and vulnerability is a beautiful thing and yes his greatest strength.

     4. Me too Joel – as you say we can only embrace our true manhood, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable as well.

399. I love your approach to dealing with cancer. Very inspiring and a milestone to many others who experience the same condition.

400. I am blown away by this article, thank you Michael, I am deeply touched by you, your words, your honesty, your tenderness and well, just all that you are and all that you share. I will read this blog soon again, that’s for sure.

401. “I absolutely know that this is why I got the cancer in the first place – too much doing for others and not feeling it was enough being just me.” Michael, this realization is profound and it offers other men something to ponder on in relation to their own life. Our conditioning makes men think they have to toughen up to fight to the top to somehow prove themselves in the world. “Being just me” is never seen as enough until we reconnect to our inner value and start to truly appreciate that.

402. Dear Michael, thank you for sharing such an honest account and penetrating insight as to what it feels as a man faced with such an ordeal. What you have shared is an invaluable insight as to the origin of your illness and this provides an avenue for others to explore. My father had prostate cancer also and he was very much like yourself, hard working to the extreme and took on the responsibility to provide for not only his immediate family but many others as well. He too complained of tiredness for 12 months before his diagnosis and yet kept working extraordinary hours.
     As a society we place enormous pressure on men to be the ultimate performers and providers, otherwise they face rejection. This coupled with the fact that we suffocate the tenderness of little boys, so that they are taught to ignore their own sensitivity by demanding that they be tough, provides a fertile ground for the explosion in prostate cancer rates that we are now facing.

     1. Your observations are very poignant Alannah. When we want to seek the source of any disease we must look to the whole person, the way they live, not just the fragment of the body that is waving the red flag.
        This beautiful account we are commenting on is not about a prostate gone feral, it is about the man Michael, who like his blank canvas extends beyond this life into lives past and lives yet to be. What he heals today rolls forever into the unseen and as yet unlived vista.

        1. And as we have to see the whole man to go for healing in one part, we also have to see the whole mankind to bring healing into ‘a part’ of the world – because in fact there are no borders, no separations and we are all connected. I love how the sharing of Michael’s healing journey brought us here to a philosophical and political view as well. So we can see: this is also all connected: Our wellbeing, health, thinking, habits, beliefs, science and philosophy. By Michael sharing about the correlations of his body, mind and way of living he reflects as well the world we live in and how we live in it. Wonderful!

        2. He has encompassed it all, as we must when we talk bout these things. We are not little islands living separate existences! We are one, indivisible. What affects one, affects us all, no matter how subtle.

        3. Rachel I love the fact that you bring this back to the man, Michael. We are so conditioned to isolate the condition away from the whole that even though there is a full sense of the whole man in this blog the words “prostate cancer” loom large. Although the experience was a horrible one to go through when we look at the bigger picture as you outline, there is a grace here with it that transcends incarnations with gentle and loving purpose. Michael, in aligning to this supports us to see and feel this bigger picture – his tenderness reflecting this back to us.

        4. So true and very powerful, what you are expressing Rachel – expecially the effect of Michael’s healing on past and future lives. He is now setting a new foundation for his future.

     2. You raise some great points here alannah643. Michael’s ‘honest account and penetrating insight’ is both an inspiration and a wonderful resource to support the exploration of these points as we trace the origins of how many men (although not restricted to to men) develop such unsupportive patterns that end in one dis-ease or another. Deeply caring for ourselves truly holds our well-being intact like nothing else can.

403. This was so beautifully written Michael, I could deeply feel how surrendered and tender you have become with yourself and it is inspiring that throughout such an experience you have been able to come to this space. You feel so open to being honest and truly exploring the choices you have and were making and taking true responsibility for the life you now will lead. Thank you for sharing your experience, I feel it offers us all an opportunity to go a little deeper with ourselves and perhaps stop, feel and listen to the choices we are making.

404. Michael, reading this bought tears to my eyes, I love your honesty and humbleness, it is very beautiful to feel.

     1. Yes I felt this too Rebecca, the true tenderness, honesty and delicacy with which Michael writes is so beautiful to feel.

     2. Yes I cried quite a few times reading this as well. It is one of the most beautiful, tender, honest and open experiences I have read in a long time. Thank you Michael.

     3. I felt this too Rebeccawingrave,
        Michael’s sharing is so steady, honest and comes directly from the tenderness of him. With full acceptance of his past choices and no regret, only honor and responsibility as he moves forward in his life. Very stilling and humbling.

     4. Yes, so much power in being open, sensitive and fragile — and from a man too. Absolutely nothing flaky or weak in these qualities whatsoever.

405. The way you have shared so intimately and openly here is very inspiring. I get a sense of the need to be very tender with ourselves when we work through the consequences of our choices.

     1. I agree Leonne, to be tender with ourselves is something we often forget yet it is a very loving way to be, to assist us through life and to learn from our past choices.

     2. Thanks Leonne, for reminding me that tenderness is key as we feel and understand the choices we’ve lived and made. I love how Michael shared his journey with this and reading it absolutely melted me as I could feel how he has lived this journey and now today I can feel how this applies to everyone including me!

     3. Yes Leonne tenderness with ourselves is a key component in our on going healing process.

     4. Thank you Leonne for the reminder that tenderness supports us to truly heal from past choices and not waste energy on beating ourselves up. The more I bring tenderness to my everyday life the more I am able to treat myself tenderly when the consequences of past choices are revealed.

406. Michael, this is such an open and tender sharing and something that would be amazing to have available at hospitals and to men the world over. What you share here is loving responsibility, addressing the health concern to the endth degree not just with medical needs but with a lovingly honest enquiry into how we live, so that the illness can absolutely have no entry into our vehicle again.

     1. Lovely sharing Katerina. If we don’t have someone to support us in considering this level of responsibility we don’t consider it as part of medicine. It is not about judgement or guilt, it is about honouring what our body is sharing and choosing to deepen our relationship with it from then on.

        1. I agree Lucy. If we are not shown how to be truly responsible then it is incredibly hard to get there on your own. The word “responsibility” though has such connotations of burden to so many of us, but if we were to start looking at the word as “opportunity” we would feel differently about it. I know that when I view it in the way you describe it from the body I don’t feel heavy or imposed on, but light and open to what can unfold.

     2. That is a great point Katerina. How many of us think of the process as 1. Problem 2. Fix It 3. Return to what we were doing. Michael’s statement at the end about a ‘new normal’ not only made me laugh, but is also a profound statement of what true healing should encapsulate.

     3. Beautiful sharing Katerina, that care and loving honest enquiry with openness as Michael has shared here is just exquisite and a joy to read. It would be amazing to have it available to men worldwide, so they can know and feel the tenderness they truly are.

     4. Thank you Katerina – I will be sharing this with my surgeon and we will take it to wherever it is needed. I appreciate the support.

407. Imagine this article in a men’s magazine truly inspiring men that they can take care of their bodies in a tender way and that vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness.

     1. I agree Rachel. Tender, frank and honest. No pretence that everything is OK in a way that walks all over the vulnerability.

     2. I agree Rachel. Tender, frank and honest. No pretence that everything is OK in a way that walks all over the vulnerability

        1. And shuts us off from the healing that is being offered. Vulnerability allows us to really be open to feeling so much.

     3. That would be very powerful Rachel!

     4. I agree Rachel, the strength in Michael’s tenderness is tangible through his words, and sharing this is a huge support for all men.

     5. Agreed this article needs to be published, what a true offering to humanity, inspiring men all over that it is possible to be strong and deeply tender all at the same time. Men know this they are just waiting to be given permission.

     6. And not only in a men’s magazine but imagine this article in a medical journal. It is so common in the medical world to say I’ll have you back to normal in 3 months or something similar not realising this ‘normal’ has caused the illness in the first place. Articles like this are gold, it supports us all to get the true meaning of illness and disease and the healing that awaits us when we surrender to what the body is asking for, to align to who we truly are.

        1. Any ideas for the men’s magazine? but perhaps also in a women’s magazine because there’s a commonality in breast cancer and much to be discussed about how the diagnosis affects partners.

     7. This would be really awesome if Michael’s sharing would be in a men’s magazine – the readers would be deeply touched by so much tenderness and vulnerability.

     8. Absolutely Rachel. This is what the world needs to hear and read… when a man expresses with the tenderness and solidness that Michael has done here, it invites and inspires another man (and women too) to connect to these qualities in themselves. And all men have these qualities, lurking beneath the surface that has been toughened up by the pressures of society. You only need to lovingly look just a little deeper to see that that toughness is only skin deep, underneath there is a depth of tenderness in all men that holds us all in powerful grace.

408. I love the solidness that comes with the tenderness and vulnerability of your writing. A great testimony of true strength and the power of embracing our sensitivity. Very, very beautiful Michael.

     1. That was the word I was looking for – vulnerability.

     2. I agree Rachel – You have not held back Michael. A Beautiful, expansive and healing blog. Thank you.

     3. I agree rachelandras. I can really feel the solidity also, a trusting and knowing that everything is just as it needs to be.

     4. I also felt a lightness in Michael’s writing and with this I could feel that he doesn’t hold any trauma from all that he has been presented with from either the heart attack of the prostate cancer. This is very inspiring.

409. Dad, what a lovely open, revealing and life changing experience you have been through. So many people with cancer fear the worst and give up on life or try to go back to the way they were living, It is great that you have embraced what has been here to show you. It is a lesson we can all learn from.

     1. You’ve made a great point here James because I get scared that I might be sucked back in to a former way of living even though I know I won’t – sounds odd but it’s all part of the process of appreciating me and taking responsibility in full view and not playing games behind closed doors. Then we can all learn the lesson because it is a lived reflection. All my love Dad.

410. Michael, your writing is both deeply touching and very informative. I truly appreciate you sharing your personal experience in such detail. There is much we can all learn from your insights. Illness and disease can unexpectedly offer us healing on so many levels as your blog so beautifully confirms. Thank you.

411. Michael I too am touched by the tender quality of your writing. It feels like you are simply telling it as it is, without flourish or emotion, but with great understanding and acceptance of what healing the condition is offering, and a embrace of the opportunity.

412. Thank you for sharing so honestly of your experience Michael. Your learning is our learning, your reflection is our reflection and the tenderness of your Beautiful canvas setting the foundation of your Livingness is inspiring. I would love to see what you have shared and what you are discovering made available to men all over the world. Thank you.

413. Sometimes we need these sudden wake-up call the body gives us, to make us realise how we have been mistreating it, and often as in your case Michael, because we have committed so much in supporting others at the expense of disregarding ourself. How inspiring that you have been able to accept this as an opportunity to not take on the victim role, but to put into action the changes necessary to truly discard those old patterns and re-connect to your vulnerability and tenderness.

414. wow Michael, thank you for sharing as others have said with such tenderness. So much is said here, I couldn’t help thinking while reading how many men are now being disagnosed with prostate cancer (my father being one of them). What you share about your healing and that in life you hadn’t let yourself just be also called out to me in how many men see themselves as the providers for the family instead of appreciating their own sensitivity and tenderness? Also it is great what you shared re not going back to ‘normal’ but instead deeply learning from this and re-imprinting your life so gently. Beautifull.

415. This is a deeply beautiful blog and sharing and being part of it all it is very special to read and see it here. It has been a lot to go through and an amazing learning and healing process for us and really does show the blessings of illness and disease in our lives and all it gives us .The opportunity to clear from our bodies ways we have lived and move on with new more loving choices is always there. Thank you Michael for your beautiful expression and for being you.

     1. The same for you Tricia, for being beautiful as you are and going through and supporting Michael with this illness.

     2. Thank you Tricia – Love you lots xx

416. Such a beautiful blog Michael – your gentleness and tenderness shines through. Any major disaster allows us the opportunity to make new and different choices. “Afterwards it’s for me to stop not only physically but also deeply letting go and allowing others to do what I would previously, naturally and expectedly, have leapt up to do for them or with them or on their behalf.” No getting back to a previous ‘normal’ life. Wise man…..

417. What a beautiful and tender man you are Michael, I felt privileged to read what you have written and to appreciate the openness and loving warmth and care all through. This is a must read for all men, it also offers them the opportunity take note to lovingly care for themselves by going and getting a prostate checkup.

418. Michael, this is so honest and therefore so beautiful to read. What an inspiration you are to really go there as you have. Men have so many ideals to overcome about how they need to be, just as women, and it’s great that we support each other to do this together. Thank you for teaching me much in this blog.

419. Michael, what an utterly beautiful and tender sharing – thank you, it touched me deeply, your approach, your understanding, your honest and your absolute willingness to go there and as I read it today I felt a greater understanding and letting go in me as i consider life, healing and that blank canvas we are all offered if we let go and drop all the masks. Thank you deeply.

420. What a well written blog, sensitive, clear and concise. I can imagine many other men will get a lot of information that they need from this important sharing especially if they are going through the same illness too Michael.

421. Michael, thank you for sharing your illness, your understanding and your learning so openly and honestly. There is so much here to comment on but the overriding feeling that sits with me as I read is your tenderness, humility and appreciation. It is deeply beautiful to feel and to observe that these are primary colours to your blank canvas.

     1. Thank you Rosanna – I love the imagery with the primary colours – if there were more than 3 I’d add a dash of responsibility and a bundle of love. Actually we could probably go through the whole spectrum.

        1. Ahh, yes, 2 of my favourite colours too 🙂

422. Your canvas will turn into a masterpiece the way you are growing as an artist. Thanks for sharing such a personal journey. Dropping the mask so you can truly heal is superb and move on to explore a wonderful path ahead.

423. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this blog Michael, and it is refreshing to have a man be so open about prostate cancer. I can well imagine there must be many men who die with prostate cancer in their bodies, and my father was one of them. His recorded death was due to Leukaemia but he also had heart disease, kidney disease and prostate cancer – it makes me wonder if they keep a true record of how many men die each year with prostate cancer in their bodies, and how common is it?

     1. Hi Julie that’s a great question because it’s quite likely that it never gets properly recorded. Cancer Research UK has some 2012 statistics – “More than a third (36%) of prostate cancer cases are diagnosed in men aged over 75 years” but it also misses your point. It’s common and the testing is getting better so the records will improve. My own surgeon is qualified to carry out many different urology operations but is now almost exclusively spending his time on radical prostatectomies – but as I said in my blog I’m not a medical person so would not wish to mislead in any way.

424. What you shared Michael is deeply touching, open honest and real and having seen you through this experience – an inspiration. This writing is one that many men (and women) can learn from as much wisdom has been shared. I also love the way you have shown understanding towards how the experience was for your wife as having been through breast cancer myself and experienced cancer with another family member it is never a disease just for the ‘patient’ but for all to learn from. Thank you Michael for your deeply caring ways.

     1. I’m glad you highlight this issue about family members and really feel there is more to be discussed here – thank you Julie and let’s see where this will take us all.

425. It is great Michael that even though the shock of the illness and of the radical surgery is past, your sobriety and dedication to change is still very much there. This comes with the new understanding around healing you share so well and that blank canvas, a choice we have is a powerful image. This is a living example of how illness can be a blessing and because of the support you chose, will carry on for the rest of this life and beyond.

426. This was beautiful to read Michael, such an open conversation about mens health is a rarity and here you have cracked it wide open. It is not weak or belittling, there is a power and strength when a man is gentle and open. Thank you.

427. ‘doing lots for everyone else without stopping or just being the tender man I am and feeling that was enough’

     How topsy turvy that we seem to naturally gravitate to all the doing rather than the ‘just being’ thinking that that is how we serve others. For me there is such joy when someone does stop the doing to allow the being. Thank you Michael for sharing this with us…and now sharing you with us in a new and beautiful way

428. Michael you write with your guard down, open and honest about an issue we don’t talk often enough about. Your experience is one to be shared. Reading this tells me you have a new normal that honours your body, which you did not truly accept before. As you said, you cannot have a blank canvas with some old spots on it, and I am sure many people can relate to having something major happen in their lives, slowing down for a period of time, but ever so slowly creeping back into old ways. Well this cuts through sitting on the fence and shows the importance of listening to our bodies not in reaction to what has happened but in every single moment.

     1. Thank you Hannah – the slowly creeping back is painful because your inside body is crying out all the time and then there is the physical pain of sitting on the fence – you only get it pain free when you listen to your body and start over with the blank canvas.

        1. And sometimes we can feel that sitting on the fence with spikes up our bottom is OK and part of the norm, but really it is our perfect excuse to delay. Thank you for this blog that reminds us every opportunity is to live all that we are right now.

429. Michael (Dad), It has been beautiful to feel and see the changes that have occurred since you first felt and then were diagnosed with prostate cancer. The openness of relationships, the willingness to have a whole new level of care and love for yourself and the opportunity we have had to deepen our relationship. I was also freaked out about cancer and certainly when you were diagnosed I did not know what to do. But the one thing that really counted has been all the support and understanding through the years of being involved with Universal Medicine combined with the absolute love of the Benhayon family. As you have said there is no getting back to normal – there is a new normal – one that we can all be inspired by.

     1. David, Yes it’s great to admit that cancer is scary but you’re spot on about the support from the Benhayon family and Universal Medicine – but you miss one thing and that’s the support and love that you bring – thank you. Lots of love Dad.

430. Thank you for sharing this with us all, Michael. It is full of the intimacy of you, the true intimacy that allows another in to experience and enjoy your company in its fullness.

431. Thankyou deeply Michael for this most delicate sharing. I have learnt much today.

     1. Thank you Adam – I felt it so important to share and to share how it can be and if a few people take something from this and allow them selves to surrender and heal, we have all taken a big step.

432. “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask.” I find this a deeply insightful comment Michael, one that has set you up to notice your blank canvas and make the changes you have needed.

     1. I love this too. Even without a disease or illness this comment has a huge impact. It made me stop and reflect on how I am living my life and the masks I can put up.

433. Having a serious illness or disease makes us accept our vulnerability. Michael you share so clearly the opportunity to not ‘get back to normal’ of too much doing but to stop and deeply heal the illness we have caused ourselves by living with love and tenderness to paint a new normal on our canvas of life.

434. I love the way you write Michael! With a lightness and wit that has God’s light shining through between the lines.

435. I loved the part where you shared about your conversation with your consultant. How the apologies of the consultant show that many people blame the medical profession when there are complications. The clear message that I receive from your sharing is that it is your healing and the medical profession supports it in their way to the best of their ability, but the healing is yours and your responsibility and not that of the medical practitioners. This is a huge revelation as to why illnesses may be coming back because only the body gets ‘fixed’ and ‘back to normal’ without understanding that that ‘normal’ could have caused the illness in the first place!

     1. Agree Lieke, Michael describes the beauty of responsibility and how it is not a burden or means to take something on, but just a quality we live in that is nurtured by surrendering to life. Absoluteness comes from surrendering and when we surrender we feel the responsibility and with this the grandness that comes with it.

436. Thank you Michael for this detailed report of your process and journey with prostate cancer. What you share here is invaluable! We tend to fight disease and make it a struggle, you made it a surrender and through that are experiencing true healing.

     1. Yes absolutely Judith – I really felt the surrender as being key to allowing the surgeon to operate and the nurses to care – and so much of this is from what I’ve embraced from spending time with Serge Benhayon and all of Universal Medicine.

        1. This is truly remarkable Michael, as surrender is something we cannot force ourselves to do, it is a step by step process of letting go and it is something that needs a lot of trust in life and death and a deep understanding of how this universe works and that is something that Serge Benhayon is offering us.

437. Thank you Michael, this testimony on prostate cancer and your reflections on it are deeply beautiful and a very needed different approach to healing cancer.

438. Thank you Michael for this beautiful and honest piece on your healing, its truly remarkable how you are with it all and that it is a reflection of what true healing is, no attachment to anything that was there before.

439. Thank you Michael, for sharing how you came to a stop in your life by prostate cancer. You’ve allowed yourself to truly feel and deepen the connection with your body and what it was/is telling you. The words ‘deeply rest’ are resonating in me, how many people will deeply rest and give the body the time to truly heal by respecting what it shows and needs. To ‘deeply rest’ will give naturally the next step and the next step.

440. Michael, what a raw and very open and honest account of your experience of a prostate cancer diagnosis – thank you for sharing the process that many confront but which rarely gets openly talked about – this is definitely a conversation worth having…

441. Michael, I love your analogy of the pure blank canvas: ‘ I cannot have a blank canvas if it has splodges of the past on it – how would it reflect to others if it were smudged and difficult to see?’ This blank canvas or ‘tabula rasa’ is like the pure sheet of consciousness that is made of light and love, one completely free of the messy doodlings of false ‘creation’. May you etch on your pure canvas the face of the Soul on earth!

     1. I like the ‘tabula rasa’ and reading your comment Lyndy brings a new light on the responsibility that comes with a blank canvas.

     2. Beautifully said Lyndy, the purity of the Soul is who we truly are, love and only love is our essence everything else is a creation that keeps us captive in an illusion of needing to be someone and not to surrender to who we are. Surrendering to the beauty of the “blank canvas” knowing that we are all already.

442. Michael, I am so deeply touched by your writing about this experience with prostate cancer and the fact that you have freely shared it. It is like an important road map that you are offering men (and women too) who will make this trip. Your discovery of the burdens that are taken on by men through society’s ingrained, mass beliefs, and where they have brought your body too is awesome. Thank you!

     1. Agree Lyndy, this is the most amazing road map for anybody who makes this trip and for everybody as we are learning to accept and understand our true origins and understanding the truth of illness and disease and the process of true healing is part of this.

443. It is a blessing to read your blog Michael, the delicateness and preciousness of life that you share here is a gift for all men, for all of humanity and in that you present that there is another way to go, a way of living that will not lead to illness and disease if we are ready and prepared to live a life with a endles white canvas that unfolds while we tread our path in life in connection with the all and live in brotherhood here on earth.

444. Your surrender and acceptance are beautiful Michael as is the tenderness with which you’re treating yourself. We can’t change what was, we can only take the learning and move on with a “new normal” in order to truly heal.

445. This is a deeply touching and inspiring read, I love the way you talk about the blank canvas, as I am finding that I can feel that too in my new way of being. The blank canvas where we can feel the magic, the possibilities, the absolute truth of the world. I also love that you talk about being looked after as I know and can feel this to be true too, reminds me of the bigger picture.

446. The tone of this blog is so completely different from almost any other cancer experience I have ever seen. It is simply loving and very factual. What an amazing achievement.

447. Michael, your writing is very tender. I felt deeply touched by your open and very honest sharing. Thank you.

448. Wow. A blog packed with wisdom and gentle wit. But the power of the wisdom is breathtaking for those of us who continue to brush over the unsupportive way we’re living our lives. The return of the speed bump to slow us down and take stock is inevitable, as your own experience shows. Healing requires a complete Stop, not just a Give Way and that means dropping the mask – that mask we’re so heavily invested in because it’s so much a part of our identity in the world.. But as you say, we just can’t heal unless we drop the mask, else the blank canvas of possibility we’ve been offered through healing still carries splodges of the past that will come back to haunt us as repeated patterns and beliefs. So there’s nothing for it but to buckle up and bring on those speed bumps. This indeed is the all-loving ‘new normal’.

     1. So spot on Cathy, and your way of describing the blog is quite remarkable too in fact.

     2. “Healing requires a complete Stop, not just a Give Way and that means dropping the mask – that mask we’re so heavily invested in because it’s so much a part of our identity in the world.” I like it Cathy very aptly said. We like to pick and chose and decide what can stay and what we are willing to let go of, but this is still having one leg in the old life/old habits/things that didn’t work thus dragging old baggage with us that simply does not serve us but slows us down and tempts us to take detours.

        1. I agree Esther – it’s got to be all. I was going to say ‘or nothing’ but that’s not it, because everyone goes at their own pace and everyone has choices. It’s just quite hard work dragging old baggage around.

449. “I can’t heal unless I drop the mask”, we have been in all our lives wanting to put more on but all along what we have been looking for is already there in the pure and blank canvas. Our healing and truly living rather than doing anything or doing more, is to drop off all that is not true and return to a purity that is already there. It is deeply beautiful to read your healing process Michael.

     1. This quote I love as well Adele, I love how much I find truth in all Michael’s words and how much I can feel the true honest account of his experience. So deeply humbling and I celebrate you Michael for the glorious, tender gentleman that you are.

     2. Yes, Adele, it is truly that simple. “Our healing and truly living rather than doing anything or doing more, is to drop off all that is not true and return to a purity that is already there.” Beautifully expressed, thank you.

450. It is from our repetitive choices in life which illness and diseases arise. Some of these choices are so ingrained that they trick us as being us. We hold onto many ideals and beliefs of our roles and the beliefs of illness and disease in life, because taking responsibility to look at how we have chosen and the willingness to let go of the arrogance in defending these choices means we do have to start with a blank canvas. Starting with a blank canvas means all that we have chosen have to be let go to allow a clean slate, and in life what we have chosen is to do exactly the opposite, to build and accumulate recognition in our every breath. Starting with a blank canvas is a true healing in that we have a choice to look at our life, to see how we have built our foundations on what is not love, which is not our fault as we did not know better, but the immense grace we have been given to see this through the support of our own bodies and through the teachings of Universal Medicine, we have another opportunity to choose again.

     1. Yes Adele and so much support from Serge Benhayon and Simone and all the family and people connected to Universal Medicine that already are my family and those whom I’m just meeting who are now also my family – they have all been so important in helping me through all this.

451. Thank you Michael for sharing in detail what it means to have prostate cancer. It gave me a clear understanding of how very important it is that we share these moments of our lives, as it makes it very tangible and relatable bringing it to our awareness as an experience of a fellow human being and not simply another who falls into a certain category.

     1. And what stands out it this blog for me Ester, is the fact that there is no ounce of shame or blame expressed but only a huge appreciation to life and in what delicacy it can be lived if we allow our lives to unfold to the rhythm of our inner connection we have with God.

        1. I agree Nico the appreciation for life is strongly felt in Michaels words, there is no blaming nor being the victim of something.

     2. I absolutely second that Esther. I have family members with prostate but none have shared their experience as clearly as you have.

        1. If this will help them to share more it may well help in their healing – sharing all I went through with so many others made a huge difference and still does.

     3. Very true Esther, so often an illness or disease becomes more like a label or category rather than an opportunity for us to really connect to the individual and have a clear understanding of what is going on for them. Michael’s honesty and openness well and truly breaks this mould.

     4. Absolutely Esther, sharing as Michael has opens the conversation up and creates the possibility that other men can share their experiences as well. There is something very special about the way Michael has expressed himself that – no investment of self in this sharing; true humility and vulnerability that make it accessible and invites connection.

452. A great message in their Michael for all men to consider if they are constantly placing themselves secondary to others at the expense of our health. It can be a shock to be diagnosed with any disease as it exposes in us men the illusion that we are invincible when clearly we are far more vulnerable than we care to admit.

     1. I love that about this blog by Michael too, there is no investment in showing off that he is invincible but this total openness, so honestly sharing about his vulnerability and tenderness. What an inspiration for everyone really.

     2. Hello Stephen and I agree. We all need to stop and consider how we are and how we drive ourselves. Michael gave us a detail plan of how his life was and how full of ‘do’ it was. Clearly we aren’t as men invincible and we have moments when we need others or need support. It begs the question, what level of support can you offer someone if you aren’t ready to support yourself. In other words the quality of how you are with yourself is the quality you are with another. It is way time we as men opened up the conversation.

        1. What you say Raymond is so true – the quality is core and this leads to appreciating ourselves and thus being able to appreciate others.

        2. Thanks Michael and as men we often speak of surface things quite well. As you are offering we need to look deeper with our conversations and while the weather can be topical, there is much more to life. Great for a man of your vintage (with respect) to bring this quality of dialogue to the table, a marker for everyone to see. We think we are many things as a man and while ever we don’t explore deeper, we will keep feeding the surface conversations. Thanks again Michael.

     3. Thank you Stephen because Yes it was a shock, but oddly it took a long time to fully realise what was happening to me and I can’t quite get why – maybe I wasn’t allowing myself to truly feel and was still holding on to the man bit.

        1. Amazing Michael how far we can go as men to lay down how we perceive life to fit into the picture / mould. It becomes so known, so ingrained to each of us specific to our surroundings that we don’t know we are in it – until the stop! My experience even after the stop ‘the old’ can be chosen very easily again to deny surrendering deeper to more tenderness and sensitivity – our power.
           As it has been said above there is a call to write a book for ‘Men In Tenderness’.

453. You are a beautiful artist Michael Nicholson and a deeply tender and honest man. I thank you for what you have shared here.

     1. I agree, it is so so beautiful to feel a man in his tenderness and that is what I love about you too Michael Nicholson!

     2. Agree Esther, it makes it real, tangible and not just a case study and the most important thing is it shows that illness and disease is part of life and that it is a great opportunity for learning and evolving. Michael’s sharing takes the edge of it and gives the reader the opportunity to surrender to it instead of fearing it. Very beautiful.

        1. Hi Rachel – the surrendering was a big part of allowing the surgeon to be able to fully use his skills and not fighting or fearing either the process or the outcome.

        2. Yes that comes out so beautifully in your writing, that it is a process of surrendering what is offered and not a fighting against something. We tend to live life in a fight mode defending and protecting us from all that comes towards us forgetting very often that we are the creators of our life and not the recipients. To truly live means to surrender to what is offered to us as divine beings and not to push to achieve what we have created.

454. Superb expression of your experience of meeting yourself and developing your relationship with yourself through the connection with your body Michael. I loved reading this and would love to see it get into mainstream men’s health publications. Again superb, thank you.

     1. I absolutely agree, Bernadette, this deeply honest sharing from Michael needs to go viral in the mainstream men’s health publications. What a wonderful role model he is for all men who have to go through this process. He leads the way in his approach to healing himself fully and wholly. This blog from Michael is amazing in its depth and understanding of true healing.

        1. I am sure this publication will go further Beverley. It offers men (and women) a deeply reflective experience to support them through the treatment of prostate cancer or any illness for any of us!

     2. I agree Bernadette it would be great to have in men’s publications and also the information package they hand out to every man facing prostate cancer. It would be both very reassuring and empowering for the men to know that they have the possibility through their choices to potentially determine the outcome.

        1. Great inspiration about an information package containing Michael’s blog about his experience Deborah! What an invitation to Stop and reflect this would be!

     3. ‘Meeting yourself’… absolutely Bernadette and Michael. What I felt reading this article was grace. Not freaking out about the illness and consequences but taking each step with the grace and love we so deserve…. beautiful and inspiring Michael.

        1. I love that you are bringing the word grace to this Katerina. The grace and love we so deserve.

        2. To me this was very healing and was an acceptance of what the body was teaching. There was no fighting the illness, it was as though Michael was working with his body and listening to what his body was teaching him.

        3. ‘Grace’, yes absolutely Katerina! You can feel the deep reflection that Michael has and is undertaking and the deep connection he has with himself to express the way he has and the care and understanding of others too. Truly beautiful and inspiring as you say.

        4. Beautifully said Katerina, I too felt inspired by the amazing way Michael embraces every step of his journey with grace and love.

     4. I agree Bernadette, what a blessing it would be to have this printed in men’s health publications.

     5. This is a great idea bernadetteglass and thank you – because there is also so much that I became aware of as I was expressing my story. I also know that my consultant is very open to further discussions and you have prompted me to show him what I have written – and who knows where this will lead?

        1. Go Michael! You have so much to offer with your lived wisdom of this.

        2. I am sure your consultant will be inspired by your sharing Michael and what a support for him to witness the level of reflection that this experience of prostate cancer has ignited in you. This is absolute gold and a gift to all men.

        3. I agree Bernadette, I have never read any man share an experience on a sensitive issue so openly and gracefully – a deep healing for all who read it.

455. Michael thank you for sharing so honestly and tenderly, I was deeply touched by your sharing, mostly because I can feel the deep surrender and stop you have brought to your life. Your experience of addressing your cancer is one of true healing and medicine where you have engaged with your health practitioners and also delved into the quality that you had been living in.

     1. So agree Jenny, this is a very unusual sharing especially for a man! (Simply because men usually learn to not bother with their health as much.) Incredible the willingness to open up and deal with it and now honestly say it as it is, this is so valuable for many!

     2. Yes Jenny a huge part of this was engaging with all the people involved in my care from the young cleaner, to the nurses, two of whom now have eye pillows, the chef who went out to the supermarket to buy fish for me and the people who brought me water and food and the deeply concerned and caring consultants – the whole was an experience of relationships that is a story all on its own.

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