Heart Failure: a message about love

by Julie Goodhart, human resources, United States.

I was pregnant several years ago and had a healthy baby, who was delivered seven weeks early. The experience of being pregnant and giving birth was difficult, nearly disastrous, and I learned a great deal – and am still learning – from that experience seven years ago.

I was not healthy during my pregnancy, and didn’t realise this fact until I ended up in the hospital at 32 weeks with a mysterious case of cardiomyopathy. By this time, my kidneys were shutting down, I was retaining water in enormous amounts, I could barely breathe due to fluid building up in my lungs, and my heart was enlarged dramatically and could not keep up with what was going on in my body, beating at a constant 150 beats per minute (talk about being racy!).

After several days in the hospital in this condition, I went into heart failure and gave birth by emergency C-section. There was a point during this whole event where the doctors told my husband that either myself or my baby, or both of us, may not make it.

But we both did, and after a few more weeks of a variety of different drug treatments, a second hospitalisation, and months of rest, my heart came back to normal size, the water retention cleared, my heartbeat returned to normal, and I could breathe more easily. Was it just the drugs that saved my life? I owe a lot to the doctors and staff who treated me and helped my husband and I through this experience, but I can’t say that it was just the doctors, the treatments, or the drugs that helped me recover. What I can say is that, even in the midst of everything going on in the hospital, I trusted in my body’s natural ability to heal, and in my ability to make different choices to help with my own healing. I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.

And the fact that I actually wasn’t paying enough attention was something I realised with honesty while in the hospital and in the weeks afterwards. I reflected on how I was living during my pregnancy – how and what I was eating and the fact that I was not really taking care of my body. The signs were there, and I noticed some of them, but chalked it up to just another odd thing that happens during pregnancy. I understand now that I was not honouring what my body was telling me.

While pregnant, I was hungry all the time and ate often. Without paying much attention, I regularly consumed large quantities of salt, mostly in prepared food that I ate as a ‘snack’ between meals. At work, there was a big project I was in charge of, and I was in a total push every day to finish it before going on leave. There were many other stressors at work, and I chose to deal with them all myself, instead of asking for help. I realise now that I was taking on everyone else’s stuff, giving my power away, and doing what I thought everyone else wanted of me, instead of doing what I felt was right for me. I was exhausted beyond words, and in overwhelm about the thought of being a mother. I felt that I could barely look after myself, so how was I going to look after a baby?

Even though my body healed physically from this experience, it was about two years later that I started to understand that there was more to the cardiomyopathy than just the physical healing. It was then that I first heard about Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and attended a Heart Chakra workshop. I started to learn about the relationship between the heart as a physical organ and the heart as an expression of true love. I began to understand that I have a choice to live a life of true love, which begins with a commitment to self-love. What was being presented at this workshop was different from anything else I had ever heard a practitioner or teacher say. Although I could feel that what was being shared was the truth, it took a long time for me to admit that the way I had been living was definitely not true love and not the truth.

In time, I started to see how it was not only my lifestyle choices – the food I ate, lack of a steady sleep rhythm, giving my power away, prolonged stress at work that I actually had some control over – that may have led to having a heart disorder but also the fact that these choices stemmed from a fundamental lack of self-love and the fact that I neither expressed love in a true way, nor allowed others to truly love me. This, I’m still learning as I go about the day – making choices and reflecting on the reasons why I make them – and I understand for perhaps the first time that it starts with my connection with my body.

I am gentler with my body now, and am listening more and more to what my body is telling me every day, such as when it’s time to rest, when I need to eat and what to eat, how to dress for the weather so that I do not get cold and so forth. I am developing more awareness of how my body responds when I exercise, go out in the cold, or even just how I sit at my computer. For me, listening to my body is also about not dismissing seemingly random aches and pains, which are simply offering opportunities for me to develop a deeper understanding of how I go through each day in this body of mine.

I’ve noticed that the more I practise basic self-care, and the more I pay attention to the signs my body is constantly offering, I begin to feel a deep love within me, and the stressors in the world can’t touch that.

There is more to learn every single day, and I am grateful for the choices that led me to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………… You may also be interested in reading this article on the connection between heart disease and love. 

739 thoughts on “Heart Failure: a message about love

  1. What a wake-up call from the body. Often we put our illnesses and moments as described, as just something that happens without ever associating it with the way we have been living up until that point. It’s amazing how the body appreciates our efforts to self-care and will respond positively.

  2. I love that here love is being talked about as a form of medicine … in self-love and self-care, there is a lot to learn from this.

  3. “There is more to learn every single day” – So simple and so true. What if we changed our criteria for a ‘good day’ from getting lots of activities and tasks done, to constantly learning and being open to seeing more about what goes on in life?

  4. I find it amazing how much a sensitive body that may otherwise be healthy respond to less than ideal treatment – how devastating the consequences can be.

  5. I agree Julie, that we know our body inside out. We know when we are not listening to it yet we pretend, ignorant to the fact that we do know. We have set up big time on purpose a demand if you like to not see a relationship with our body and to not take any responsibility for it. It is our own making and until we are willing to acknowledge this responsibility we will continue to be at the mercy of everything that is outside of us.

  6. Our bodies offers us so much wisdom and understanding about ourselves and life, it is crazy to think we abuse it and numb it with substances and food and block this divine communication.

  7. Awesome that you chose to listen to your body and carried on listening rather than going back to your old habits. Deepening our levels of self-love has huge benefits not just for us but everyone around us as we choose to take care of ourselves and are then more able to truly care for others rather than doing it out of duty etc.

  8. I recently ignored the signs about something, as I too ‘chalked them up’ to something else, and it escalated resulting in three burnt fingers! It was a great lesson and a reminder for me to check in with myself when my body sends a message and don’t override or make assumptions about it. It makes it a lot less painful!

  9. The body really does support us by giving us messages to let us know when we are out of sync with our natural rhythm and flow. One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is to honour what we are feeling in our body which enables us to trust and reclaim the love we are within.

  10. It is often at the moment that our body really breaks down that we realise that how we have been living was totally not in honour of our body. The key is then to still remember this when we feel better again, because I found soon we fall into the same old behaviours again when we don’t look at the origin of the unwanted behaviour.

  11. It is so true that at the back of our lifestyle choices is our relationship with ourselves. There are many things that I knew I should do to care for myself, but my excuse was always ‘I don’t have time/money for that’. ‘I’ was at the end of the queue. The more love we afford for ourselves, the more self-nurturing the choices we make become.

  12. I am in Brisbane at the moment and last night I was walking back to my hotel around dusk, and was getting seduced my being in a big city, with bright lights and wanting to make the most of my ‘big city time’ and was about to set off exploring a bit more but felt to check in with my body. It said something quite different, it said, go home, and rest, I’d like to lie down. And I was like OK body, let’s do that. These moments of self-care are to be appreciated, when we start to listen to the wisdom of the body.

  13. If we don’t listen to our body then our body has to speak louder and louder to get our attention. It is interesting to read how you were exhausted and wouldn’t stop until your body stopped you. I am sure most of us have had similar experiences whether it is overworking before a holiday and then getting a cold on holiday or having a small accident or something as dramatic as your experience.

  14. Julie I loved this sentence ‘I understand now that I was not honouring what my body was telling me.’ When we don’t honour our body it has to bring us to a stop to give us the opportunity to truly understand the choices that we have been making.

  15. ‘For me, listening to my body is also about not dismissing seemingly random aches and pains, which are simply offering opportunities for me to develop a deeper understanding of how I go through each day in this body of mine.’ When I read your blog I could feel that a lot of the time I don’t want to feel/acknowledge the pain I have in my body. This is exposing but at the same time it inspires me to go deeper with my self care and feel into what my body is asking of me.

  16. I love how you trusted in your body’s natural ability to heal Julie, and that connecting with our body and building a deeper relationship with ourselves allows us to change our choices to be far more caring and loving and with this our body naturally responds to begin to restore and rebalance itself.

  17. Without doubt our own quality of and commitment to self-care augments any medical treatments we need to support our health and wellbeing.

  18. Once we understand and know about self-love, we can never truly ignore or override our body’s signals again. Well we can, but deep inside we’ll feel the tension of doing so. Which, left unchecked, will only lead to more dis-ease.

  19. The body offers lots of signs and messages, and with a small shift in where we place our focus, we can hear and see what is being offered.

  20. Wow, that would have been a seriously scary thing for you and your family to go through. It truly is amazing that you both survived and that you are now living in a way that supports you, in a way that we should all really have been taught from a young age and that is, knowing the body is the marker of all truth. What a blessing for your baby to grow up with a mother that lives and breathes this much love and care for herself.

  21. It is gorgeous to know that at any point we can choose to commit to self love and begin to move in a way that is in honour of our worth rather than our reactions to life… and from here develop a connection to a love within that is untouched and untainted.

  22. On reading your beautiful blog again today Julie I am aware that every illness and disease is a message about love, if only we are prepared to listen, learn and expand; as you were Julie.

    1. I hadn’t computed this but of course it is very obvious ‘every illness and disease is a message about love’.

  23. What you have shared here Julie is conveying a simple powerful message;
    “I’ve noticed that the more I practise basic self-care, and the more I pay attention to the signs my body is constantly offering, I begin to feel a deep love within me, and the stressors in the world can’t touch that”.

  24. There is much to learn every single day Julie and I have deepened my understanding, and been reminded of, the absolute importance of listening to our bodies from reading your blog. Thank you for sharing.

  25. “I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.” When we are offered the messages our body is showing us we have a choice to listen or not and all our choices have consequences.

  26. It is extraordinary the lengths our bodies will go to in order to show us that how we are living is harming us and not viable for us going forward. To be the vital and healthy woman you are today after going through this is a miracle to be greatly appreciated and to be thankful it helped you to see that you had to change how you were living.

  27. We can deny what is going on but at the end it is what we denied that is coming towards us even bigger. So why not listening directly. We call ourselves intelligent but do we behave that way?

  28. This is really important. Our body has an ‘early alert system’ at play. We may choose to ignore it or not. The warnings are issued in a timely way. It is up to us what to do with them.

  29. When we are willing to open up with honesty, we are able to understand the signs our body gives us when we are not living in rhythm with it and with this deepen our awareness of how our body is supporting us to open up and commit to a life living from the love we truly are.

  30. Julie you brought up a great point here, ‘these choices stemmed from a fundamental lack of self-love and the fact that I neither expressed love in a true way, nor allowed others to truly love me.’ I never truly understood about love until I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, it is easy to think of love as the emotional kind, and I’ve learnt love comes from the essence of who we are, and therefore we are naturally love, yet we generally don’t live the love we are.

  31. Any message we receive from our bodies, about love and truth, is a great blessing. Self love and self appreciation are the key; thank you for your inspirational blog Julie.

  32. “Even in the midst of everything going on in the hospital, I trusted in my body’s natural ability to heal, and in my ability to make different choices to help with my own healing. I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.” Very true Julie. So often we give our power away to systems – yet having an inner knowing – and trusting that – can support the body’s ability to heal even faster.

  33. Having a child was a huge support for me in expressing more love. It took me a while to cotton on that the blessing of this was not for my child to receive all of my love, this was the pathway and that the love I was able to express was equally for all.

  34. That deep love that the stressors of the world cannot touch, the more we listen to our bodies messages the more that steadiness and unshakable quality within starts to come out. Living in this way makes you stand out and I have for what feels like a very long time avoided going there in fear of standing out and being attacked. Because no one questions you if your going about human life, paying your bills, going to work yet running with underlying anxiousness or following ideals and beliefs of how life should be. Following our feelings goes against how the world is living. And for me I would say that every time I have connected that steadiness within feels amazing, so much more than trying to fit into life. I sit here now and consider that every time that choice to connect has consistent success and disconnection has consistent failure, so whats in the way of sticking with what truly works?

  35. The significance and importance of self-love and self-appreciation can never be over stated or emphasized enough.

  36. We do not learn that life is about honouring yourself first and foremost. So, we push it, override our bodies, play God(dess) with the hope that we will get away with our way of living life. Some bodies take their time to say that such a way of living has harmed you. Others speak much quicker. In either case, the body gets back to us for us to get back to it.

  37. “I trusted in my body’s natural ability to heal, and in my ability to make different choices to help with my own healing. I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.” I am struck by this sentence and can hear how we get so many little warning signs that we can choose to hear, and do something about, or not. It seems so obvious – yet it is not our normal!

  38. It’s amazing how we can feel that no-one knows our body better than us and yet still be unwilling to listen to what it is communicating with us! Whilst not having such a dramatic story as yours Julie I have spent many years overriding the myriad of messages my body was trying to impart about just how much I was driving myself and abusing my body in the process. It was only when a practitioner told me that if I continued on that path I was headed for Chronic Fatigue that I finally started taking notice and making changes. Since then it has been a constant refinement and I too ‘begin to feel a deep love within me, and the stressors in the world can’t touch that.’

  39. ‘There were many other stressors at work, and I chose to deal with them all myself, instead of asking for help.’ When we take everything on, without asking for help there will inevitably become a time when our body is no longer able to continue taking the strain. I have found that it is far more loving to actually ask for help and people love lending a hand too.

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