by Julie Goodhart, human resources, United States.
I was pregnant several years ago and had a healthy baby, who was delivered seven weeks early. The experience of being pregnant and giving birth was difficult, nearly disastrous, and I learned a great deal – and am still learning – from that experience seven years ago.
I was not healthy during my pregnancy, and didn’t realise this fact until I ended up in the hospital at 32 weeks with a mysterious case of cardiomyopathy. By this time, my kidneys were shutting down, I was retaining water in enormous amounts, I could barely breathe due to fluid building up in my lungs, and my heart was enlarged dramatically and could not keep up with what was going on in my body, beating at a constant 150 beats per minute (talk about being racy!).
After several days in the hospital in this condition, I went into heart failure and gave birth by emergency C-section. There was a point during this whole event where the doctors told my husband that either myself or my baby, or both of us, may not make it.
But we both did, and after a few more weeks of a variety of different drug treatments, a second hospitalisation, and months of rest, my heart came back to normal size, the water retention cleared, my heartbeat returned to normal, and I could breathe more easily. Was it just the drugs that saved my life? I owe a lot to the doctors and staff who treated me and helped my husband and I through this experience, but I can’t say that it was just the doctors, the treatments, or the drugs that helped me recover. What I can say is that, even in the midst of everything going on in the hospital, I trusted in my body’s natural ability to heal, and in my ability to make different choices to help with my own healing. I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.
And the fact that I actually wasn’t paying enough attention was something I realised with honesty while in the hospital and in the weeks afterwards. I reflected on how I was living during my pregnancy – how and what I was eating and the fact that I was not really taking care of my body. The signs were there, and I noticed some of them, but chalked it up to just another odd thing that happens during pregnancy. I understand now that I was not honouring what my body was telling me.
While pregnant, I was hungry all the time and ate often. Without paying much attention, I regularly consumed large quantities of salt, mostly in prepared food that I ate as a ‘snack’ between meals. At work, there was a big project I was in charge of, and I was in a total push every day to finish it before going on leave. There were many other stressors at work, and I chose to deal with them all myself, instead of asking for help. I realise now that I was taking on everyone else’s stuff, giving my power away, and doing what I thought everyone else wanted of me, instead of doing what I felt was right for me. I was exhausted beyond words, and in overwhelm about the thought of being a mother. I felt that I could barely look after myself, so how was I going to look after a baby?
Even though my body healed physically from this experience, it was about two years later that I started to understand that there was more to the cardiomyopathy than just the physical healing. It was then that I first heard about Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and attended a Heart Chakra workshop. I started to learn about the relationship between the heart as a physical organ and the heart as an expression of true love. I began to understand that I have a choice to live a life of true love, which begins with a commitment to self-love. What was being presented at this workshop was different from anything else I had ever heard a practitioner or teacher say. Although I could feel that what was being shared was the truth, it took a long time for me to admit that the way I had been living was definitely not true love and not the truth.
In time, I started to see how it was not only my lifestyle choices – the food I ate, lack of a steady sleep rhythm, giving my power away, prolonged stress at work that I actually had some control over – that may have led to having a heart disorder but also the fact that these choices stemmed from a fundamental lack of self-love and the fact that I neither expressed love in a true way, nor allowed others to truly love me. This, I’m still learning as I go about the day – making choices and reflecting on the reasons why I make them – and I understand for perhaps the first time that it starts with my connection with my body.
I am gentler with my body now, and am listening more and more to what my body is telling me every day, such as when it’s time to rest, when I need to eat and what to eat, how to dress for the weather so that I do not get cold and so forth. I am developing more awareness of how my body responds when I exercise, go out in the cold, or even just how I sit at my computer. For me, listening to my body is also about not dismissing seemingly random aches and pains, which are simply offering opportunities for me to develop a deeper understanding of how I go through each day in this body of mine.
I’ve noticed that the more I practise basic self-care, and the more I pay attention to the signs my body is constantly offering, I begin to feel a deep love within me, and the stressors in the world can’t touch that.
There is more to learn every single day, and I am grateful for the choices that led me to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………… You may also be interested in reading this article on the connection between heart disease and love.
Medicine and Serge Benhayon 
I feel from what you are saying Julie is that the doctors and medicine you received played a vital part in getting you better, but there’s more, your body was telling you something is amiss. To then find Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and attended a Heart Chakra workshops gave you the opportunity to look at life from a different perspective. That there is more to the heart than it just being a physical organ it is the first step to reconnecting back to our soul and the universe. We are not taught this as part of our current education but that doesn’t stop it from being an immutable fact and one day we will all know this to be true.
I just read this on the UniMed Living page “The greatest form of medicine is to be love and to express it in all that you do.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings and Revelations, p 623. How amazing is that, and it ties in exactly Julie with what you are sharing here of your experience, also how beautifull is it that the greatest form of medicine is one of love and expressing this love in full … very beautifull indeed and of course shows just how much our own health and wellbeing is truly in our own hands and of course how we live on a day to day basis.
There is no doubt that Universal Medicine presents life in a totally different way to how humanity has been taught life should be. We have allowed ourselves to be fooled that this life we lead is it and that there is nothing more. This from my own experience is a complete and evil lie. I know this to be true because I have reconnected back to the deep love that resides with in me and each and every one of us and from this reconnection I can feel how stresses of life cannot touch the reconnection. It’s a bit like wearing a waterproof coat, stress just slips off the coat like rain would.
I’ve been listening to my body for a number of years now and my health has most certainly improved. However, there is no peak where one achieves maximum body listening skills and it’s said enough so I can stop listening. The body always has something to say and constantly knows the next levels of love.
This statement stood out for me, ‘that no one knows my body better than I do’. I ponder on the many conversations, the disapprovals etc. I’ve received from others, when I ask for gluten and dairy free foods. Its as if, because I’m not having an allergic reaction I must be ok then, and yet they do not witness what is occurring internally.
We need to honour what is occurring for our bodies. The signs doesn’t have to be in your face either, they can be subtle at first. then they come banging on your door. It’s what we do with it afterwards, is the question we need to ask ourselves more often.
‘I’ve noticed that the more I practise basic self-care, and the more I pay attention to the signs my body is constantly offering, I begin to feel a deep love within me, and the stressors in the world can’t touch that.’ The power of this love is such that stressors roll off like water off a ducks back …I know this to be true …..and yet I can justify behaviours that go against upholding this awesome power. However if I do that it’s as if I have switched a button and more truly disregarding ways present themselves to me….until I switch back again and allow myself to feel the depth and breadth of that love and say yes to only that.
I love what you have shared here Elaine, ‘practice basic self-care’. This is where it all begins from the ‘basics’ and it unfolds and develops to other levels of healing your body is offering. It is true love and support for the wellbeing of our bodies.
I lived with a huge lack of self-love for a very long time and my wonderful body paid the price for my love-less, mind driven choices. These days, although my care for myself is so much deeper than it ever has been, my body still bears the ‘scars’ of this long-term, disregarding way of living. I cannot change the choices, and the consequences, made through many years of my life, but I now know that in every moment I have the freedom to make very different and love-filled choices, and most of the time, those are the choices I make, and my body is very loud in its appreciation when I do.
It’s pretty hard to admit that we have not really been living true love when we try so hard efforting in life – I guess that is why we keep reinterpreting the words love and truth in attempt to distracting ourselves from the hard truth, but lying to ourselves hurts more than anything and humility is actually a very beautiful, healing step we can take to start walking back towards the simplicity of who we truly are.
‘I’ve often felt it’s true that no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.’ Although this may seem very obvious, it is something worth remembering, we are the main and first receptors of our own body signals, so when we honestly listen to them, we simply know what is happening within us and why.
“I’ve noticed that the more I practise basic self-care, and the more I pay attention to the signs my body is constantly offering” A simple and beautiful appreciation of the healing messages offered by our body.
“no one knows my body better than I do, if I’m willing to pay attention.” Bingo….that last bit is the real gold and raises a great question – are we really willing to pay attention to our bodies?
Totally true! We are like – everything’s fine even when we have a pain or we know something is amiss until the diagnosis is serious. Imagine how many serious illnesses we could prevent if we paid attention earlier…
I don’t think we consider our hearts enough – they beat every moment of the day and we take this and all its virtues for granted. If our heart could be related to our ability to love – then surely it needs the best possible care in the world.
A great reminder of how many messages our body gives us that we choose to override, our body is a great communicator and I have found the more we listen to it the more it guides us to make supportive choices and when we shut down the communication our body gives us a nudge and another one if we ignore it, and if we continue it eventually brings us to a stop that we are unable to ignore.
It’s a truly amazing story Julie of a deep and profound healing, from being so skilfully supported by the medical staff at the hospital, to making so many changes to commit to self love and self care as inspired by Universal Medicine. You’ve inspired me too as I feel to continue working on taking more care to listen to my body.
I love how this blog takes it beyond self care and self love and asks what is underlying our care and love or lack of it. If we truly develop a relationship with us and our bodies which is self loving and express that love in our lives, our choices come from that foundation and that changes the game completely. At the end of the day we live in our bodies 24×7 and they show us always how we’ve been and the impacts of that, so we have this amazing tool which shows us how we are loving with us and asks us to be more so – isn’t that amazing.
My life has completely changed and continues the more I listen to how my body feels. Not just aches and pains but an inner sense of knowing what to do in any moment. And I thank Serge Benhayon for reminding me that I and all of us know this body language.
“I began to understand that I have a choice to live a life of true love, which begins with a commitment to self-love” This is so healing the medical profession can do amazing things and help to bring us back but we have to do our part and as you show it starts with making a choice to be love in everything we do and when we do it is amazing how much the body is able to heal. I have had experience with someone with cardiomyopathy who did not make the same choices as you, was not willing to look at every aspect of their life, to honour themselves in self love and the results were very different.
When presented with the truth, as in the presentations of Serge Benhayon, one of the most challenging things to accept is “that the way I had been living was definitely not true love and not the truth.” This realisation definitely comes with a big ouch but in that moment, we have a choice, accept the truth and say yes to love, or choose to live the lesser way we always have. The only thing about the second choice is that once presented with the truth it takes a huge and uncomfortable force to ignore it.
Recently I had a difficult moment and felt myself holding back, closed off to others, I could feel hardness across my chest and it felt as if the heart just got shrunk but heavier. I could feel how a dis-ease can develop from that way of being if it was my usual pattern.
Wow! Our bodies can really show us in every way that how we are living is not healthy to us.
Some of us can go through a lifetime of abusing our body with no apparent ill-consequences. Others are more lucky and have the opportunity to stop the abuse.
This is an interesting case study on how the cardiomyopathy developed and how you recovered from it and how much medicine helped you in the process.
It’s great how you describe how in taking much greater care of yourself you were able to deal with the stresses of life with much more ease, in difficult or busy times often looking after ourselves is the last thing we think of but it’s actually the thing that keeps us stable and that enables us to keep working hard without burning out or getting unwell.
When we take on everything without asking for help, not only are we under a great deal of stress so too is our physical body, and as a result inevitably something has to bring us to a stop in order for us to take stock.
“I started to learn about the relationship between the heart as a physical organ and the heart as an expression of true love. I began to understand that I have a choice to live a life of true love, which begins with a commitment to self-love.” Making life about love, starting with ourselves, transforms everything. What choices do we make on a regular basis that can be tweaked to making them more about love? .
What a wake-up call from the body. Often we put our illnesses and moments as described, as just something that happens without ever associating it with the way we have been living up until that point. It’s amazing how the body appreciates our efforts to self-care and will respond positively.
I love that here love is being talked about as a form of medicine … in self-love and self-care, there is a lot to learn from this.
“There is more to learn every single day” – So simple and so true. What if we changed our criteria for a ‘good day’ from getting lots of activities and tasks done, to constantly learning and being open to seeing more about what goes on in life?
I find it amazing how much a sensitive body that may otherwise be healthy respond to less than ideal treatment – how devastating the consequences can be.
I agree Julie, that we know our body inside out. We know when we are not listening to it yet we pretend, ignorant to the fact that we do know. We have set up big time on purpose a demand if you like to not see a relationship with our body and to not take any responsibility for it. It is our own making and until we are willing to acknowledge this responsibility we will continue to be at the mercy of everything that is outside of us.
Our bodies offers us so much wisdom and understanding about ourselves and life, it is crazy to think we abuse it and numb it with substances and food and block this divine communication.
Awesome that you chose to listen to your body and carried on listening rather than going back to your old habits. Deepening our levels of self-love has huge benefits not just for us but everyone around us as we choose to take care of ourselves and are then more able to truly care for others rather than doing it out of duty etc.
I recently ignored the signs about something, as I too ‘chalked them up’ to something else, and it escalated resulting in three burnt fingers! It was a great lesson and a reminder for me to check in with myself when my body sends a message and don’t override or make assumptions about it. It makes it a lot less painful!
Yes, something that should take a week to recover from can escalate to six months if it gets ignored.
It is often at the moment that our body really breaks down that we realise that how we have been living was totally not in honour of our body. The key is then to still remember this when we feel better again, because I found soon we fall into the same old behaviours again when we don’t look at the origin of the unwanted behaviour.
Yes, that repetition could lead to the same consequences happen again or perhaps even worse.
It is so true that at the back of our lifestyle choices is our relationship with ourselves. There are many things that I knew I should do to care for myself, but my excuse was always ‘I don’t have time/money for that’. ‘I’ was at the end of the queue. The more love we afford for ourselves, the more self-nurturing the choices we make become.
I am in Brisbane at the moment and last night I was walking back to my hotel around dusk, and was getting seduced my being in a big city, with bright lights and wanting to make the most of my ‘big city time’ and was about to set off exploring a bit more but felt to check in with my body. It said something quite different, it said, go home, and rest, I’d like to lie down. And I was like OK body, let’s do that. These moments of self-care are to be appreciated, when we start to listen to the wisdom of the body.
If we don’t listen to our body then our body has to speak louder and louder to get our attention. It is interesting to read how you were exhausted and wouldn’t stop until your body stopped you. I am sure most of us have had similar experiences whether it is overworking before a holiday and then getting a cold on holiday or having a small accident or something as dramatic as your experience.
Julie I loved this sentence ‘I understand now that I was not honouring what my body was telling me.’ When we don’t honour our body it has to bring us to a stop to give us the opportunity to truly understand the choices that we have been making.
‘For me, listening to my body is also about not dismissing seemingly random aches and pains, which are simply offering opportunities for me to develop a deeper understanding of how I go through each day in this body of mine.’ When I read your blog I could feel that a lot of the time I don’t want to feel/acknowledge the pain I have in my body. This is exposing but at the same time it inspires me to go deeper with my self care and feel into what my body is asking of me.
Without doubt our own quality of and commitment to self-care augments any medical treatments we need to support our health and wellbeing.
Once we understand and know about self-love, we can never truly ignore or override our body’s signals again. Well we can, but deep inside we’ll feel the tension of doing so. Which, left unchecked, will only lead to more dis-ease.