by Kate Greenaway, BAppSc(PT), Physiotherapist, Australia
Recently I had a fascinating experience that highlighted to me the difference between moving and exercising in a gentle flowing way or pounding and pushing the body. I was packing my car after a lovely time exercising in the local pool when I noticed two middle aged men running down a steep cement driveway near me – they were literally pounding and jarring their bodies. They were red and puffy in their faces and they looked miserable. It felt like they were punishing themselves in pushing their bodies for some sort of outcome. I was feeling really fluid and content in my body from the gentle moving and swimming that I had just completed and I could really feel the contrast with what these men were doing as they slammed their bodies with each step.
I remembered it was only a few years ago that I was pelting up and down the local pools to do my ’40 laps’ or pushing myself up the gazillion steps to the Byron Bay Lighthouse to feel good about doing something ‘healthy’ and ‘good’ for my body. Part of my drive came from the ideal that ‘I should have a healthy body’ as I was a physiotherapist and ‘how could I tell my clients to look after their bodies and exercise if I wasn’t ?’
That drive was behind years of dabbling in all sorts of exercise. You name it – I tried it … from gym and weight workouts to twisting myself up into all sorts of shapes with many styles of yoga – to a slow series of movements in Tai Chi and Chi Gung. I even studied Tai Chi in the UK under a ‘master’ and diligently practised, even though my knees were giving me clear messages that this wasn’t a natural way to move and exercise. I realise now that all I did was make my body hard and like these middle-aged men pelting past me I was punishing my body and not supporting my body.
I had made moving and exercise, as with other things in my life, complex and outcome based rather than a simple enjoyment of my body’s natural way of moving.
I remember as a little girl loving the lightness and spring in my body and being fascinated with how there was a flow in my body. I also loved the feeling of that gentle rippling through the body when I floated in water – it was a bonus having friends with pools growing up in Australia!!! Somewhere along the line I had lost that feeling of the lightness and flow and replaced it with ‘what my body should or shouldn’t do’.
When I was in my 30′s I was considered very healthy by the standard medical parameters, but I had low vitality, was moody especially in the early mornings and each day was just a job to get done.
When I was 35 a physio friend introduced me to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – that was a pivotal point in my life. As a physiotherapist I respected and loved the body and its biomechanics and I found out that Serge, through his sporting background did likewise. I came to discover that he had a much deeper awareness and knowing of the body’s natural healing than anyone I had ever met. This challenged me initially as I equated knowledge of the body with some sort of traditional medical training, and here was a man without that but with a far greater understanding of the body than all the health professionals I had known over the last 15 years. He just always made sense and I could see that he lived what he presented – that your body’s vitality gradually comes back as you live more gently in it. It took me years to understand what being gentle and more self-loving with my body meant and I am still learning. Initially, in reaction to all the hardness I could feel in my body, I stopped most forms of exercise – this didn’t work either as my body weakened and I certainly didn’t have much ‘get-up and go’. It was my trust in and association with Serge and Universal Medicine that inspired me to return to regular exercise but in a different way. Over the last 12 years I have been to most of the Universal Medicine presentations where Serge has just shared what has supported his body and what he has come to know about the effects of different forms of exercise on the body. It is up to us to then feel for ourselves whether what he presents is true or not.
So over the last few years I have rekindled my appreciation of the natural flowing movement in my body when I walk, swim or do some light weights. As soon as I go back into the old way ……’I must do three more bicep curls ‘ it’s as if another five kg are loaded on my arm and my body goes hard . When I come back to enjoying the natural flow of the movement and an openness to learning from my body, that same movement with the same weight is easy and light. It’s still a work in progress or really a ‘love in progress’. The old program of ‘exercise must do’s’ is so strong that I can slip into the ‘doing of it’ pretty easily . This is slowly changing as I catch these moments – enjoy my flowing movement again and just keep it simple as to how and what my body wants to do at that time. When I do this it’s like my body sighs with relief (!!) and over time the hardness continues to melt. I have shared this with many clients over these recent years and they have learnt to appreciate and even love their bodies again. I am now in my late 40′s and I have way more vitality and joy in my body than I had in my late 20′s!
One of the best things to all of this is that exercise and movement have become fun and way more playful again. I have learned that how I choose to exercise impacts how I feel and how my body physically feels such that for me I now choose exercise that is gentle and flowing rather than pushing and pounding.
Your statement, ‘I am now in my late 40′s and I have way more vitality and joy in my body than I had in my late 20′s!’ certainly shows you have made the right decision regarding exercise and the way you have changed what you choose to do these days, Kate.
Awesome Kate, I can feel your dedication and Love to your body on top of a well rounded understanding of the human body, so you can know how to truly serve others, thank you Kate this is very inspiring to read, and I now understand why I always hated exercise so much, it was how I was doing it rather than the idea of exercise itself…
Hi Kate, thanks for this. I loved your remembering how it was to move as a child and I remember that too. How beautiful to maintain that lightness as an adult.
I had an experience recently where I have begun an exercise routine and saw the difference that my way of doing can make. Most of the time I was thoroughly enjoying how my body felt as I worked with it. I got a buzz from the awakening of dormant tissues. I had no soreness but only felt more energy and ease but after a few practices I got a sharp pulled muscle sensation between my shoulder blades. When I reflected on it I saw that when I was doing the shoulder movements I had set a goal of getting rid of my kyphosis and had probably forgotten to feel my body in my ‘enthusiasm”. Since then the tightness has gone but I remember the message it sent and really stay with my sensations as I do that shoulder movement and let the results come when they will.
Beautifully said Kate! There is such a difference between ‘punishing’ and true, naturally impulsed ‘enjoyment’. I remember many years ago when I used to do healing at the weekends (I was an academic during the week), I was listening to a client tell me about her regime of drinking water (tons and tons of it to ‘purify’ her body). As she spoke it dawned on me that she was employing this as a form of punishment (water torture!). And I used to see the punishing energy of people pounding along the road jogging. Little did I realise that I was doing exactly the same thing by living and entertaining myself continually in and by my mind, by pounding the piano for hours on end, and by doing doing doing. Talk about a hard, distorted body.
Thank you so much for your observation and work (‘love’!) with the body and for exposing the addictive nature of a consciousness that has to endlessly ‘try’ to keep itself alive and unwell!
Hi Kate, I was surprised when you said you are in your late 40′s…I would have said much younger!
You know, I don’t see many runners with smiles on their faces. A year ago my 34 year old son was running 10km three or four times a week. I asked him if he enjoyed it and he said he enjoyed the first kilometre. I then asked why he didn’t stop then and he said, “but I’ve got to break my record”. I asked why…but he didn’t have an answer.
I notice he’s not doing it any more.
Thankyou Kate !
Hi Kate I can so relate to pushing through, to doing that little bit more.I used to run, but never really liked it, i thought it would help me, that all the aches and pains in my body were because I didn’t look after my body so exercise would help alleviate it. My knees always hurt when I ran but I would try to keep going thinking it would get easier…it never did. I wasn’t looking after my body, but running was not the answer as all it did was compound the problem. Only through Universal Medicine have I understood what it is like to truly look after the body.
Love it Kate, thank you for this blog. I too pushed myself – to the extent that I was a junior black belt kick boxer, doing 100′s of press ups, sit ups at a time training with mostly men and it was deeply dis regarding (as I would ache, and feel so tired), and I used to think I was ‘fit’. Your writing here offered me a healing, as I could feel how some of my drive for fitness was to punish myself, either for what I had eaten, or because I didnt feel good enough, or because I thought I wasn’t fit enough etc. No wonder our bodies harden with attitudes like that.
Awesome post thank you Kate. I too used to push myself to the extent that i was a junior black belt kick boxer training with men doing 100 press ups, sit ups etc at a time… and I used to ache and get very tired, but I thought I was ‘fit’. At that time I used to feel guilty for whatever I had eaten, or feel that I was not good enough so I kept on pushing… it is a relief nowadays not to feel that pressure when I swim, or walk.
I have never been a big fan of gyms. I used to love and did lot of sports – mainly to compete and I would push myself even beyond my ability! But those days are gone. I now love my gentle morning exercises on a soft, bouncy, thick (15mm) mat with pillows and blankets and light weights in the comfort of my own warm home
I find stretching extremely powerful yet many will dismiss it as sissy and not ‘strong’ enough.
At times it’s almost as if people get irritated when I am next to them on a treadmill and am walking fast enough (not to their standards) but not getting breathless or covered in sweat. I don’t mind. I just do whatever feels right for me. As you say Kate, I too remember clearly doing the same thing as a child with joy and fun – half hanging off living room sofa or putting my legs up a wall, climbing up our basketball post, skipping, hanging off my cherry tree….aaah, those were some lovely moments.
Very infrequently I’d go to my local (lovely) brand new gym. But even there I just do my own ‘style’ stretches and exercises and I do get looks as if to say: What on earth is she doing with those machines
I live in a very leafy area of London and on my early morning walks I encounter many joggers. I am yet to come across one who is smiling, genuinely looks happy to be running and doesn’t look like they are jogging for punishment!
‘Love in progress’, beautiful Kate. I am reconnecting with exercise again, and so enjoyed how your words flowed like the exercise you describe.
I love how you described the lightness and flowing of your body as a young girl. It brought back memories of how I felt when I was playing as a young girl, so light and full of bounce.
Thank you Kate, I practice Physiotherapy in England and really resonate with your journey. I too am a “love in Progress” lovely.
Thanks Kate, after years of ballet training it is wonderful to be learning to enjoy moving my body with connection and love . My body loves it