By Anonymous, Lismore, Australia
In my mid-twenties, I was living with a couple of flatmates in Byron Bay. I was living an apparently idyllic lifestyle, with close friends, many hours spent walking on the beach, going surfing and being creative. I worked part-time as a graphic designer for a local newspaper and in odd retail jobs.
It looked like an easy fun-loving life on the surface, though I felt there was something amiss in my life. I felt a deep sense of sadness that I was not living my full potential and that my relationships were not working. My intimate relationships never seemed to last and I would usually be the one to run away. I was in a poor mental state and recall feeling very lost and alone, often calling Lifeline for someone to talk to.
I remember speaking with my flatmate about these issues and she suggested I could go to see Serge Benhayon, a healing practitioner who lived nearby. After living in Byron Bay for many years, I had tried many healing therapies, including different styles of meditation, yoga, chiropractic, natural therapy, acupuncture, psychic readings and massage. I was interested in crystals and energy, and read many spiritual new age books to try and find a deeper understanding of what was missing in my life.
My appointment with Serge was yet another attempt to find something that I thought would ‘fix’ me, in much the same way as I had approached other healing therapies in the past.
I saw Serge for a few sessions and was always met with a level of care and clarity and a level of integrity that I had never experienced before. At times, I felt disappointed because he did not pander to me or sympathise with my problems, but would respond in a simple and clear way with the truth of what he felt was going on, without ever trying to coerce me to accept what he said. Over time I found this to be a true sense of love and care, though initially I found it very challenging. This was because I was so used to looking for relief from my troubles, not taking responsibility for where I had ended up in my life, and I wanted someone to prop me up with what I wanted to hear to please me and appease my emptiness inside. Serge did not do any of this – he delivered truth that was not always comfortable to hear, but that I knew was true by the way I felt inside.
Regardless of my inner struggle, meeting a man with such a high level of integrity and care was a huge blessing, as it was something I had not experienced previously in my life. Despite this, there came a point when I decided not to continue to go to see him for any more sessions. Looking back, it was because I was feeling confronted and I did not want to go any further with going within and returning to what I already innately knew, to uncover what was being presented to me.
A fair time later, at the age of 27, I experienced some significant mental stress after putting too much pressure on myself and not caring for myself deeply or dealing with my inner turmoil. I was trying to fit the picture of what life should look like. I was studying, moving house, starting a new job, and having a long distance relationship. In order to try to alleviate my tension I was self-medicating with homeopathy treatments from the naturopathy course I was studying. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks before I was well enough to return home and to care for myself. This was devastating and it shook my confidence very strongly. Despite this wake-up call, I continued to not commit to relationships, though I desperately longed for real intimacy. I felt like my life was not going anywhere. I continued with poor mental health over a number of years and was hospitalised again after my father passed away.
One day my mother went for lunch with a group of friends and met a woman who was offering healing sessions in Sacred Esoteric Healing. My mother suggested that I would possibly like to have some healing, as I was struggling with relationship issues. My mother gave me her number and I called the lady, and decided to go and see her, as I knew I needed support.
When I met the woman, she explained she was practising a Universal Medicine modality taught by Serge Benhayon. I was a bit taken aback with this because I had already seen Serge years before, but had decided not to pursue this line of healing or any other healing for that matter. However, with where I was at in my life, I knew I needed something to support me and decided I would re-commit to my own healing. I ended up having regular sessions of Sacred Esoteric Healing and Esoteric Chakra-puncture for a year with this woman, which supported me greatly. Because she was so real and practical, I began to open up to her and began feeling safer expressing myself with others.
I began to attend the monthly presentations held by Universal Medicine which were a great opportunity to get to meet other people who were also interested in health, wellbeing and true healing. The presentations supported me to understand living well through the connection with my body and having healthy relationships – firstly with myself and then with others. This was beautiful for me to feel, as I had longed to be with others who also cared about these things.
In my 30’s I started seeing a psychologist who supported me with regular sessions. Their approach also supported me, since I was never pandered to but rather lovingly supported with truth. With this truth as a foundation, and the chance to feel and express my feelings, I began to take more responsibility for my life and my choices. I then started seeing an esoteric practitioner who supported me to develop my relationship with my body and stop living so much from my head and the raciness and checked-out state I had been living in.
All in all, I began to find the inner life and love I so longed for and began to live it in my outer life.
Through Serge Benhayon’s teachings and the regular support of esoteric practitioners of the modalities of Universal Medicine, along with regular visits to my GP and developing a loving relationship with myself and life, I have found another way of living life from the fullness and potential of who I am, with health and vitality and purpose. Living from an inner-most self that I always knew was within me, means I am now living and enjoying life more than ever before.
It’s not perfect, and I still struggle with the pressures placed on us by society about how we think life should be, or what we should be doing with it, and how we should be looking and what we should have. I also know it’s not about being perfect either – none of us are or will be. But with the ongoing care and support I am now giving myself and taking responsibility for my life, along with the loving people in my everyday life, and the support of Universal Medicine practitioners, I feel I have had the chance to go deeper within to find the gem that I am and to live it in the world.