in Client's Perspective 453 Words

Eating humble pie – taking antibiotics for the first time in over 20 years

by Matilda Bathurst, Midwife & Primary School Teacher, UK

I have been beautifully, tenderly and gently humbled this week following a visit to my GP on Monday. For over 3 weeks I had had a cough and was feeling various degrees of unwell, resisting, as is my tendency, really taking care of myself and allowing support from others.

Prompted by a beautiful man in my life, I made the appointment and was guided by my GP to take some antibiotics, in that a cough that persists for over 3 weeks is significant and he could hear a ‘slight crackle’ in the base of my left lung.

For a long time, I have had a disdainful relationship with mainstream medicine, avidly exploring alternative modalities and building an arrogance in myself about mainstream medicine being ‘less’ and below me. So it was with some discomfort and unfamiliarity that I collected my prescription and actually committed to take the tablets.

What has transpired in the week since (I completed the course yesterday) has been nothing short of miraculous. For one the cough has gone… but more significantly I have had the opportunity to explore and review a filing cabinet’s worth of pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals about how I have always thought things ‘should’ be: how I should present myself in the world and that it is a failure and weakness to be ill and need the support of others.

I wrote to my GP today to say thank you and enclose a copy of part of the email here:

‘I just wanted to say a big thank you for your support in our appointment last week. I have just finished the course of antibiotics and my cough has gone. Almost more inspiring though than this, is the fact that my whole relationship with being unwell and allowing myself to be supported has shifted. I realised that in well over 20 years I have only taken one paracetamol and up to last week I was quite stubbornly proud of this, but what it actually shows is that I have not allowed myself to be taken care of and have ‘done’ hardship far too much.

So, more than just physiological support, my first round of antibiotics for a while has shown me a whole lot more.’

Would I say I have a tendency to be stubborn, yes; opinionated, yes… but less and less so and it is life changing moments like this one that are breaking the abusive and self-disregarding patterns of behaviour I have chosen and established in my life.

 

Read more:

  1. Should we reconsider what illness and disease mean for us? 
  2. Why don’t I feel well? Is illness and disease just a random event? 

 

 

491 thoughts on “Eating humble pie – taking antibiotics for the first time in over 20 years”

  1. At the hospital where I volunteer the nurses love to receive ‘thank you’ cards from the patients. They work so hard as they are always short staffed and so when they are appreciated for all their hard work they say it was all worth it. Their dedication and the level of care given to the patients is huge. I tell the patients they are staying in a 5 star hotel they laugh, and by the end of their stay they agree it’s true.

  2. Matilda I loved the simplicity in how we can appreciate a health care professional.

    When I’ve attended a GP’s surgery it’s often full of doom and gloom and fix me attitude. So to receive an email, even for some that may consider it to be a small token of appreciation gesture, can actually go a long way.

  3. I am gonna go as far to say that making life hard is an addiction. With anything thats had a tight grip I’ve found connection to within me to be a great support to pry me away from those behaviours.

    1. Melinda I agree we need to be open to all possibilities for healing. There is room for appreciation every where we go.

  5. I am seeing more than ever how being stubborn and not accepting support makes life harder, complicated and more draining. And, when I stop being stubborn there is support around me to access when I am willing to see it.

  6. It seems quite common that we isolate ourselves when we are ill and when we do experience the support and caring concern that you had, it can inspire us to be more open and allow a more comprehensive health programme for ourselves.

  7. We can learn so much when we look at how strongly we believe in something. I’ve been realising for myself, that when I start getting excited about something I’ve chosen to do and keep talking about it… it’s not actually true for me. It instead takes a lot for me to justify it to myself instead of seeing that maybe I got hoodwinked.

  10. I had a similar history of not wanting to take antibiotics for the same reasons as you Matilda and was also served a portion of this pie and I must say, it tastes far better that the stubborn pride I was stuck in before, or more astutely put – it tastes far better than the arrogance I indulged in that had me seeking hardship and struggle over a life of simplicity and joy. Lesson learnt.

  11. Healing takes an openness to receiving healing in whatever shape or form.. no pictures, just a surrender and a commitment to being with and loving our bodies, whatever they are showing us.

  12. Your letter to your doctor is extremely gorgeous and very touching. We often take this profession for granted and tend to demand if not on a subtle level that they fix and cure us without asking us to take any responsibility for how we are living. You could say that at least to some level the industry can be used and abused without the needed appreciation for what they are offering us.

    1. I saw this first hand today Joshua, “We often take this profession for granted and tend to demand if not on a subtle level that they fix and cure us without asking us to take any responsibility for how we are living.” I had a stint in hospital this afternoon and had a long time sitting in emergency, and what I saw was quite humbling. The medical staff were so busy attending to patients but they gave every patient the time they deserved. However, it made me wonder how different it would look if as patients we came in fully ready to work with the medical system honestly and appreciating their support.

  13. I used to be one of those people that had to be on deaths door before I would go and see a doctor but all that has changed over the past few years due to being far less stubborn. I wonder how many people’s stubbornness has killed over the years?

  14. I am not a doctor, so I don’t know if that kind of things happen very often, but getting a thank you email like the one you shared here – that is so confirming and empowering, actually for anyone in any profession, to know that our job just does not sit within the confinement of and end when a consultation/surgery/task/project is over, that we are making a difference and we have a responsibility and power to make it even more richer.

  15. There is actually something very beautiful in being honest at where we are, surrendering to the support on offer and supporting the body with whatever is needed. Quite different to the push on and mrs independent that is so easily embraced.

  17. I wonder if taking antibiotics is really eating humble pie rather than realising that doing without medicine is a pipedream for most of us?

  18. Sometimes the hardest thing can be to let go to the fact of being ill, to admit to the fact that actually the body is run down or sick and struggling. Sometimes the best thing to do is just let go of all the demands on our time and our body and give space to the fact that we are sick

  19. Without being pigheaded and defiant in what we think is the right thing to be doing for our bodies, when we actually stop and feel them and realise that we need some support because the way we have been living has created the dis-harmony then life doesn’t feel like a struggle and hard work.

  21. Sometimes we can get really sick and almost not even realise, just getting on with life and pushing through. Sometimes its only when I stop for some reason, like at a weekend or if a friend asks me if I’m sick that I stop long enough to really feel it and then realise I am actually feeling very run down, but I then ask why its taken so long to check in with my body

  22. There is so much humility in being honest with where we are truly at and permission to let go of what is not ours to be lived.

    1. Stubbornness is the dogged refusal to let go of a way of being that does not help our evolution back to Soul, whereas humility is the surrender required that will help us re-open the door to Heaven we closed on ourselves long ago. From here true healing can and will occur.

  23. It really doesn’t serve anyone when we decide to go it alone when in truth we need support, It only separates us and inhibits our connection and possible evolution.

  24. One of the first things I noticed about this was that you actually wrote and thanked your GP Matilda… I did the same with my surgeon once… He said that they so rarely receive letters of appreciation, usually it’s complaints… It’s such a good thing to do… And we can always practice appreciation in all its forms.

  27. It’s quite something the defiance we can go into where we think we can do it on our own. I have gone my whole life thinking this, defending this and being proud of this. All at the expense of my body and keeping people at arms length. Crazy how our buried hurts can have such a destructive impact. Healing the hurts and letting go of the protection has allowed me to accept support from others and it feels amazing.

    1. The surprising thing is that we can move out of this isolation and protection when we are ready to do so. Opportunities to do so seem to simply present themselves.

  29. Sometimes waking up to our ill choices can be humbling but being humbled is often necessary to stop us from doing whatever we want in life regardless of the cost to our body.

  31. Being open to both Western and true complementary medicine i.e. that which is offered by Universal Medicine allows the body and being to be supported and deeply healed in more ways than we could ever imagine. We would be foolish to discount either.

  32. We like to think we know better and yet our beliefs do not always include our whole body intelligence nor the intelligence and support that is all around us.

  33. A dose of humble-pie that offers “life changing moments like this one that are breaking the abusive and self-disregarding patterns of behaviour …” Now that’s medicine for you!

  34. When we stay open to both conventional medicine and the esoteric medicine and modalities, it gives us the whole picture in order to support us through illness and disease and so much more in life. What a blessing.

  35. Arrogance can accompany ‘good’ health and when we begin to feel invincible, watch out To feel our vulnerabilities invites us to more deeply nurture ourselves.

  36. What I love Matilda is your letter of thanks to your GP, your honesty and humility. We should all be this way more often.

  37. I’ve just eaten humble pie after declining my dentists offer to prescribe antibiotics before I went away to work. I thought I knew best, and didn’t. The pain that accompanied a raging gum infection over a weekend when I couldn’t get antibiotics was enough for me never to reject them again. Repeated pain killers ineffective except for short periods, antibiotics subsided the pain within twenty four hours. Lesson learned and dental procedure planned.

  38. A ‘humble-pie’ moment reminds us that humbleness is a way of living that keeps us forever in the learning seat of life and of others. It removes the ‘I’ attitude of thinking that we are ‘right’ – for there is no right or wrong…

  39. Oh those pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals we have and even are proud off. A form of control maybe so we can manipulate ourselves and others so things go our way. Your example of surrender to your illness and what you got to see about yourself and attitude about being ill is fabulous and so one by one we can let go of what we thought was the way and choose a life of healing.

  40. We can be so blinded when we take sides between Western Medicine and Complementary Medicine… when both have a place in supporting us with our health and wellbeing.

    1. Yes, both approaches definitely aid the healing process as one heals the physical symptoms and one brings about deeper awareness, insight and understanding… thus a more complete and all-round healing.

  41. There is something very remarkable about outing my opinions and beliefs and being open to listening (actually really hearing) what others have to say, different angles on things and then letting these ‘new ideas’ freshen up my relationship with life. It feels a bit like dissolving old cement.

  42. Antibiotics is such a big subject for discussion because although they do the job they are designed to do in terms of killing unwanted bacteria, they can often have huge side effects that may require further medication to suppress. In the end it is up to us, we trust our doctors but our body knows what it needs and for some of us antibiotics are fine, for me, I ended up with a horrendous rash on my back and an inflammatory response to subsequent insect bites which means that I will be very cautious about taking them again. Many people are allergic to penicillin, as another example.

  43. I was one of those people that had to be on deaths door before I would go to see a doctor, thinking it wasn’t very manly or a bit weak but now I will go at the drop of a hat, with one in three of us getting cancer I want to be on top of it if it turns out that I am that one in three.

  44. Hardship is one that can easily be something that we feel we need we have to go through in life, and it can be on just small things where we feel it can’t be that easy. What I have found with applying the teachings of Serge Benhayon, from being inspired from what he shares and lives is that it really doesn’t have to be like this. We need to take responsibility for the choices we make and this includes seeking medical support, emotional suppport or physical support in order to move through things that can be presented. We are for ever learning so bringing in a form of hardship or punishment does not serve anyone.

  45. Awesome sharing Matilda… there is always so much more to our illnesses and diseases than meets the eye if we are prepared to truly see what our bodies are offering us.

    1. Yes, … there is often more than meets the eye… being prepared to see the bigger picture of illness and disease enables us to take off the blinkers of ideals, beliefs & perceptions, and realise more about ourselves than we would otherwise have discovered … and then subsequently heal.

  47. Oh how our stubborness can get us into trouble and keep us stagnant, like you Matilda I also avoided main stream doctors. What I love about this blog is it exposes that what we feel is “good” can often be capping us.

    1. Yes… being honest about my stubbornness (ignorance and arrogance really) offers the opportunity to listen, be fresh in moments and therefore open to all the learning on offer.

  48. We must learn that we are much more than the suffering human we like to pretend to solely be.

    1. Absolutely Michael… we are so, so much more than this human body – we are multi-dimensional beings – every one of us equally and innately so.

  50. What a great example of healing where you not only address the physiological issues that affect our functioning, but examine the underlying beliefs and ideals that undermine our ability to self care and self nurture.

  51. It is so liberating to actually surrender to what we feel our body is aksing for. Fighting these messages is exhausting and simply adds to the dis-ease.

  52. It is quite exposing see just how abusive it is to live driven by ideals and beliefs as they do not consider or are implused by the intelligence of the body but rather come from a knowledge base, mind driven concept that generally only serves an emotional need to be identified in some way. I have found that this always results in us disregarding the truth of our bodies and how this truth always supports and guides us.

  53. Owning up when we have changed our minds, and maybe we weren’t right about something is such good skill to have, because no-one gets things correct all the time, and it is brilliant for children to know that parents can make mistakes too.

  54. Oh how the ideals and beliefs can keep us trapped under such ‘good’ guises.

      1. Mhmm, what if in living far less we are actually given everything we need to feel however we want, but when living Truth we are simply given everything we are.

  55. Surrendering to what we know is true deep within us, is a huge and vital step towards true healing.

  56. How many times do we find ourselves refusing medical advice and then having to revisit the same condition later only to find that it did not fully resolve itself?

  57. Humble pie is good for the arrogant and ignorant being inside us that likes to think of itself to be superior and in control even when reality clearly shows that it doesn´t work – the bliss of ignorance and pride.

    1. Humility is great medicine, and acceptance is the way to swallow such medicine.

  58. We can make choices and decisions throughout our lives, but it is so important to realise what pictures contain and hold us to influence those decisions. It is great Matilda, that you have realised how those choices controlled you in the past and you have been released from those ideas now.

  59. There is a beautiful surrender in accepting the help which is there around us in all true forms, whether from medicine to support our healing or from esoteric healing to support medicine.

    1. There is indeed great healing in discerning and taking on all forms of medicine when our bodies need support.

  60. There is an enormous level of surrender that occurs in the body when we ‘let-go’ of an attitude or firmly held perception that we are ‘right’ , and experience a ‘humble pie’ moment… this surrender is probably the greatest healing step – of self care – towards ourselves, revealing just how much we allow the human spirit to wield control and override the body.

  61. Working with alternative therapies for many years, it was against ‘my principles’ to resort to taking drugs of any kind – it felt like a failure in succumbing to them and it was only when absolutely necessary with the GP insisting upon them being taken. Since attending presentations by Serge Benhayon the foolhardiness of this arrogance was exposed. As I changed my choices, eating humble pie was soon on the menu. From this, an honest and open relationship continues to be re-built with my body, the GP and to saying yes to medications whenever required. They are a blessing to support my healing.

  62. Whilst there may be a little discomfort in being humbled, there is also a refreshing quality to being able to see clearly where one is at. The way forward and the what next becomes more clear also.

  63. Thank you Matilda, at any time we allow ourselves to release old patterns that have held us in a way of living that is less than loving for our body, then we have taken an evolutionary step. Old-ways that hold us in a ill-belief-system are simply an energy that has had a controlling influence, which has taken advantage of our ego so we are not doing all the self-loving-ways that bring us a blessing to our being and thus every aspect of life so we evolve.

  64. Thanks for writing this Matilda, I have often resisted taking things like antibiotics or if I did I seldom finished the course as instructed, but I now realise the importance and duty to the care and love of self so won’t be so reckless anymore.

  65. ‘it is life changing moments like this one that are breaking the abusive and self-disregarding patterns of behaviour I have chosen and established in my life.’ – Indeed it is, very relatable – such a reflection is a huge eye opener as well as a true healing of a long held belief of right and wrong or good and bad.

  66. Most months I have to take painkillers for my periods, and every time it is a humbling moment of admitting that the way I have lived up to that point led me to needing to take medication for the pain – if we can be willing to see our illnesses as stop moments that ask us to go deeper with what is really going on, then medication doesn’t have to be a band aid but rather a humbling moment to reflect.

  67. I must admit I am wary of taking antibiotics, especially as the last time I did my body had a severe reaction, but I will always consider taking pharmaceuticals as offered, and carefully research the side effects. because of my generally healthy lifestyle many side effects will not happen to me but, because I am more sensitive these days, some of them will affect me more. It is a case of respecting what can be done and also treating my body with the deep respect it deserves.

  68. How often does that need to be right, actually cause us to have unnecessary health issues? I recently watched an NHS video of a young mother who did not vaccinate her child, and her daughter contracted measles. She admitted and was honest about how she assumed all the children around her would be vaccinated, so she felt she did not have to.

  70. If we truly want healing, and to be helped we often find that the ‘answer’ is right there under our nose. So often it is something super simple and sensible we have wilfully chosen to overlook.

  71. The support we can offer one another can be so valuable in getting a clearer perspective on life, including very much how we are with our body, helping each other to recognise harming beliefs and to reconnect with a more truly loving way of being instead.

  72. The support of medicine and the way we live combined is amazing if we are willing to accept all that is offered to us with a discernment and quality. True understanding of our bodies listening to what they are telling us and seeking support when needed brings a settlement and ease to our lives and a honouring way of living.

  73. It is so liberating when we let go of beliefs and ideals that we have about things because if it is a belief or an ideal then it is not true. There is a huge difference between believing something and knowing it.

  74. Thank you Matilda, for this beautiful exposure of how our ideals and beliefs so often play out as an abuse to our body and being, along with how the harm of thinking we are ‘right’ impacts us with the blinding illusion that we know better than our bodies are indicating. Your openness to exploring the truth is inspiring.

  75. The medical profession can offer immense support if we can work with them. We don’t need to put them on a pedestal, or diminish ourselves in their presence, but rather forge a partnership that is part of our overall health approach.

    1. For me it has made a huge difference to see my doctors as someone I partner up with, and to the best of our ability, together we land the best possible result for my body, health and wellbeing. I find that not all, but many doctors are open to work this way with their patients, as a patient we just need to be very clear that we want to be an active part of the process.

  76. It is great how much we can learn from one simple situation if we feel what is really going on for us.

    1. This made me laugh as it is so true, as once we let go our arrogance in thinking we know better than our body’s intelligence and actually feel the power and freedom in honoring our body, we then can see non-sense of holding on.

  78. It is a great show of appreciation to your GP Matilda, as many people turn up to a medical appointment just wanting to be fixed and not look at themselves as being a big part of the dis-ease forming or healing process …The “Fix me Doctor” expectation is a burden on public health, both emotionally and financially. .

  79. Being beautifully gentle and humble is a great first step to truly evolving. Being angry, imposing and snarky is a leap back to ignorance. The choice is yours.

    1. Yes, the consequence of one brings the body into ‘ease’ and the other evokes ‘dis-ease’. Our body definitely reveals the end result of our choices.

  80. There is something in going to the doctor that requires us to admit to being sick – rather than soldiering on and maintaining that we are fine, that step to seek support can be a big one, because it is the first step in acknowledging that something isn’t okay

  81. We can be so set in our ways and think that it is working, so when we do open up and allow another’s care and advice to be shared and then put into practice it gives us the opportunity to see it and feel it another way.

  82. This has made me realise all the times over the years that I have resisted going to the doctor and yes we do have a sort of culture or upbringing that makes us think any illness is a sign of weakness and that we are tough and committed and can push on through.

  83. I know how I’ve treated my body hasn’t been good all my life – I’ve been abusive and taken it for granted. So now, as I have lots of blood test and health checks and facing up to the consequences I’m learning to be open to the support on offer. All along the medical staff have been super supportive and I’ve allowed myself to be very vulnerable and transparent about my fears and tears. Too long I’ve tried to be a hard nut which has led me to the need for this support in the first place.

  84. It is a beautiful experience when we surrender to what is truly best for the body – and in this comes the healing.

  85. Very cool that you actually emailed your GP to let them know how much you appreciated their support and care when you were ill. Not something many people bother to do and I am sure that GP would have really appreciated the positive feedback.

    1. Yes, all too often I suspect GPs are not seen for who they are and the great service they endeavour to bring. There’s a level of honest transparency here that’s inspiring. I will have great conversations with my GP, nurses and consultant and whoever is treating me and here I’m feeling to be open to expressing what’s needed. I know I take the time to write reviews as they are important too – and express outside the box of how a service was just from my point of view and how it impacted just me – which is something I notice the questions try to confine the answers to. I feel a health service is a collaboration and a relationship where both parties need to be considered.

  86. When we are ill (or not ill for that matter) and we stop, even for a moment, that is the time that our body can use to heal itself. And when we do not honour this stop, then this means that body must find another way to do its healing work, and it makes it harder and can delay the process. What you have shared here Matilda is beautiful as you have shared about a healing to the whole process which is not impeded by taking medications. Thank you so much for sharing your process and showing how when we surrender to the healing, then we get given so much more than just a recovery from the disease or illness!

  87. It is a beautiful thing indeed when we allow ourselves to drop an ideal or a belief that hinders us from healing. I too went through many years staunchly priding myself for not taking any conventional medicines, not even pain killers and not even a local anaesthetic when going to the dentist. And finally I came to terms with the fact that such a rigid approach was not supporting my health and well being and so I did also eat humble pie and since then have realised how important it is to be open to having the support both from conventional medicine and complementary medicine too! What a blessing!

  88. Awesome sharing Matilda – it is in the marriage of conventional medicine and complementary medicine that we are offered a full opportunity for healing. If we use one without the other and do not hold a true intent to heal, then we are selling ourselves short each time.

  89. Our body is more than matter. We can think it is just that but when we do, we miss out on seeing what is actually causing the illness and disease in the first place. For example I once had a cold that was really quite bad but it was not until I connected with the fact that I had been holding back my voice in many situations that it started to ease.

  90. This shows us the beauty of the marriage between Western Medicine and Energetic Medicine – treating both the energetic being AND the physical form it is (we are) enhoused within. No part is left out of the equation and this allows a true healing to occur.

  91. I agree with you Gill and with a huge dose of honesty and openness, we can often very easily see what is true and what is not.

  92. So much effort is expended thinking we have to do life on our own, that we are ‘the one’ who has to have all the answers. We do in a way – for the truth is that we are all one and so are here to work together not solo. That’s just a huge lie.

  93. We all need to be as open and honest with our health as you have been here Matilda, I knew someone that would never go and see the doctor and in the end that was the death of him, stubbornness does kill and although our bodies are the best at showing us what is wrong with them we have to act on it in order to heal.

  94. Sometimes it takes a friend to remind us that we are worth looking after, and if we are ill getting support is the most loving thing to do, when we honour ourselves we are actually honouring everyone.

  95. Love your inspiring honesty here Matilda, its great to look at all the ideas and beliefs we stubbornly hold onto in our minds.

  96. When we stop trying to go it alone we can realise how much support is out there – both temporally and energetically.

    1. Indeed, the very act of ‘going it alone’ is often what causes the dis-ease it the first place. We are One and as such we are designed to work together and never in isolation to the grand Whole we are from.

  97. Eating humble pie with the course of medication shows here how it takes the healing effects of an illness to a deeper and more powerful form of healing. The esoteric and conventional medicine are the balance of brother & sister – or like the left and right hand of a body working together. One supports the other equally, and the outcome is the benefit for all.

  98. What you describe Matilda, is a deepening of self-care and that there are many levels we can go to to strengthen our relationship with ourselves and how we take care of our body.

    1. Well said Rachel, this blog is a beautiful example of self-care and our body shines and sparkles the more we love and care for it.

  99. If I get sick, I have noticed a pattern that I can rest for a day, then feel I ‘should’ be back to it. I am also used to soldering on and looking after myself. This is crazy as it’s so lovely and nurturing to accept support and to allow my body to restore and heal.

  101. We can get stuck in our stubborn and opinionated ways and they can be very harmful, the idea of being right can be used to some how prove that what we think is the answer, we get so deep in the right we can make choices that are harmful to ourselves and others. Breaking these habits is brilliant and humbleness is absolutely essential to go there. I love what is shared here – Thank you.

    1. Absolutley Samantha. Hanging onto stubbornness does no one any favours, least of all ourselves. It is so freeing to let it go and to allow ourselves to feel humble and also the vulnerablity that comes with this absence of control.

      1. I used to get super upset when I thought I was right and others wrong, it is ludicrous to get stuck in it, and it can still show its face but I am in to it more quickly. I have found that not getting caught in it allows space to be more understanding of myself and others and with this I/we have the opportunity to learn.

  102. ‘ I realised that in well over 20 years I have only taken one paracetamol and up to last week I was quite stubbornly proud of this, but what it actually shows is that I have not allowed myself to be taken care of and have ‘done’ hardship far too much.’ this is great, realising that getting the support needed for your body through medication removed the struggle and belief you had to do it on your own. I had a belief that medication was bad for me that it was a poison in some way, but working through this medication has helped my body so much when it was needed. There is definitely self care in taking this path and looking at why the illness is there.

  103. Sometimes the support we most need are things we have been told again and again. Don’t be ashamed to revisit them and accept them in full – we all take our own time.

    1. We indeed need be ready to hear it, that comes from a process of inner development. I love the understanding you hold others in. We accept when we are ready to do so for ourselves.

    1. Wow, yes stubbornness can actually kill. There is such a hardness and coldness in stubbornness. There is no love or yielding towards the self. There is no care. Allowing our stubbornness to drop and let go of the beliefs that are creating it is a way to true healing by allowing ourselves to receive what we need when we need it.

  105. What a healing and such a beautiful letter for the doctor to receive. We don’t naturally take the time to appreciate people in these ways or in fact when we are humble enough to know what is needed to support us and honour it. A lovely sharing Matilda that suggests we cannot have any pictures of how things will be – and it is about simply responding to whatever is needed.

  106. It’s interesting the things we think we have to do, or the way we think we have to do things, only to realise the hurt and harm we cause ourselves and others by what are essentially self abusive choices. Starting to feel what’s going on in my body has shown me that so many of the ways I just assumed were how things had to be done- pushing, driving and striving for example, or always putting work and others above myself, aren’t ‘it’ at all- and that there is another way to be, i.e. a way where I take care of myself and allow the support, and in that, somehow everyone and everything else is taken care of, too.

  107. Being humble brings a sweetness to life that I have not found otherwise, it is like the humbleness brings a surrender to the support available and we deepen and feel more aware of life, understanding that it is not all about me, myself and I and that we are part of a bigger picture / plan.

    1. I agree Samantha. I recognise this sweetness when humbleness is present. And what’s more it gives us permission to let go of so much tension, anxiety and judgement, to name but a few which are literally exhausting for the body, and makes room for true relationships and true intimacy instead.

      1. Yes, it is not something I had considered much, but that sweetness for me is something to do with not trying to do it all alone, less pretence, less ‘me’, more bigger picture, more honesty and in that there is a surrender and from there whoosh, we feel a sweetness. I agree when you are humble lots less tension in the body.

    2. Beautifully expressed Samantha, I love what you’ve shared and the word humbleness. When we embrace humbleness there is not an ounce of recognition or me, me, me in it because it embraces the bigger picture as you’ve shared.

      1. I have also felt in this surrender to the bigger plan that I can settle and not strive and that I will know what is needed, rather than trying to over think my next steps. There is a settlement in feeling the huge support that is there when you begin to stop making life all about yourself and a humbleness knowing that our inspirations, learnings and knowing come though us and are not self created.

  108. Being open to always learning allows us to be open to constant evolution – as Serge Benhayon has said ‘the forever student’.

  109. I know that taking antibiotics can make me feel totally unwell and as if I am living underwater. Totally horrible. But I know that if they are needed to stop, reduce or prevent an infection it is very important to take them. I used to resist taking them, but after losing a tooth because of it I realised that it wasn’t a good idea! Much better to take responsibility and take them, even if it means feeling unwell because of it.

  110. Normally our pride is so invested in what we have chosen it can be a bitter pill to swallow that we have chosen something that isn’t supportive of us. However when we are open to learning and seeing that things can be done differently and allowing insight and support from others is a very humble way to be.

  111. Great reflection Matilda on the harm we can choose when believing in the pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals we hold. It is not the antibiotics that are the enemy or a failure, it is choosing to not go deeper and look at what is happening that we are experiencing the symptom in the first place. This has been a beautiful opportunity to allow surrender and fragility to be there and I love your honest expression to your GP and the deep appreciation this held.

  112. It is interesting how many of us blindly follow everything the conventional doctor says and also equally many are not open and just refuse to accept medical support. It’s great what you have described that it is very freeing, not to mention healing, to allow yourself to be supported by a medication prescribed by a doctor, rather than dragging something like a bad cough around for weeks on end. It is about a healthy balance, doing naturally what supports our bodies, but also being humble enough if something more sinister crops up to deal with it with proper medical attention and intervention.

  113. Thank you Matilda for sharing the change, on many levels, that can come about through letting go of ideals and beliefs and allowing support in a form we had previously refused to consider.

  114. Eating the humble pie can be healing for everybody around us too, especially when we have been widely proclaiming the fact that we don’t need medication for instance. It is healing to see someone who denied the truth turns back to it without drama or resistance and is truthful about it too.

  115. This is not an uncommon story that people will not use conventional medicine and will suffer when there are very effective and simple treatments available. It is worth pondering on what it is that makes people either blindly buy it completely and do whatever ‘doctor says’ or react and avoid it and be willing to try anything alternative rather than see a doctor. It reminds me of mainstream religion. People either blindly follow or react and throw the ‘baby out with the bath water’.

  116. I like that the author wrote a letter of appreciation to her GP – who does that these days? There was a time when the family doctor was considered a close family friend, but these days we rarely get to see the same one when we visit the GP surgery.

    1. I agree and its reminding me that I had an impulse to send a card to a garage that was particularly supportive and gracious in its handling of a situation and have not yet done so!

  117. I love what you share here Matilda as it exposes so many ideals and beliefs around medicine and needing support. I encounter this a lot in my daily practice as a health practitioner and it can make such a difference if people are willing to feel and accept what their body truly needs, even to the point where prescriptions that can have severe side effects cause no or only minimal reactions when taken without resistance and in the intention of self-care and self-nurturing.

  118. We can be so stuck or stubborn in our ways yet as we let go and open ourselves up listening to the support around us we can very often change old patterns and behaviours. It is very beautiful when we let go of our selfish ways to listen, hear and take heed of what our loved ones are offering deepening the intimacy within ourselves and within our relationships too.

  120. I have had many ideals and beliefs around main stream medicine too. For instance insisting on a home birth with no drugs when previous to being pregnant I took copious amounts of illegal drugs. When I needed drugs to support my delivery I refused them and battled through an extremely painful 36 hours labour where I nearly died…nuts really when I could have been supported by the medical profession!!!

  121. This blog really helped me let go of a nagging belief system I have held onto that says that if I am ill or sick in any way, then I must have been doing something wrong and it is a sign of failure in some way. Obviously, there is so much more that is on offer when we are met with an illness and it’s up to us to take advantage of the healing that our body is going through without self-judgement, which would block it.

  122. To me it seems like the eating of humble pie is really just the process of understanding the judgement we have been in and noticing it as we let it go. When it’s gone there is no humble pie but just love and understanding.

    1. So true Matilda, one actually feels lighter and freer as the ideals and beliefs are let go of, and this clearing of our energy allows us to see and feel the magic that is on offer.

  125. What I have also become aware of is the tenderness and delicacy that is revealed when we get honest with ourselves.

  126. It is amazing to read about the power of humbleness, and especially when it comes to your own body. I find that humbleness with my body leads to great awareness not only of myself and my motivations, but also for the rest of the world and its population. And being this aware can be a huge challenge, but the humbleness of listening to my body always brings everything back to basics.

  127. I love the fact you have sent your GP an email and the honesty in which you have written to him how accepting his treatment has changed more than the illness but was part of breaking abusive and disregarding patterns you had chosen. Making your GP aware that there is more to heal than only the body.

  128. I love that you wrote to your GP – appreciation absolutely changes lives and when many of us go to the GP we often seek relief and a fix, but once the GP has supported us do we appreciate it and express that? I love the openness that you wrote to your GP in, every relationship can have this transparency and honesty whether we have just met or known each other a life time.

  129. In allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and to also ask for and accept help and support we are opening ourselves to healing on levels we may not even be aware of.

  130. There can be a certain stubbornness in refusing to be honest with what is in front of us, taking away the possibility of learning and embracing the support that is available to us.

  131. Many of us who are looking after ourselves and making healthy lifestyle choices are finding that our health has improved enormously however, some of our past choices can manifest in an illness or disease that requires conventional Western medical treatment. We can supplement our treatment with naturopathic remedies and they can help alleviate symptoms of the pharmaceuticals offered, but we need to feel into each situation before rejecting medicine on a principle.

  132. What a truly remarkable thing to be able to come to, to be humble and to actually listen to what is actually there that is needed to support us and not push on thinking we have to do it on our own.

  134. “Eating humble pie” – eating what we already have known yet have dismissed to then taste once again and in appreciation having understood the self-revealed bigger picture.

    1. The good old humble pie – eaten time and time again as we learn more and more about letting go of pictures and living the truth we know from within.

  135. There is great humility and healing available when we let go of the ideals and beliefs of what we think may be happening and let other possibilities and medicine options in.

  136. Matilda oh how I can so relate, I was for many years proud that I did not take any mainstream medication and the last time I was prescribed antibiotics (which was sometime ago now) I actually threw them away.
    Stubborn can be the mind that says it has to be a certain way. Being open to what is on offer and feeling with our body rather than our mind will direct us to the best way to heal.

  137. There is something very levelling and a process of ‘bringing you back’ to truth and honesty when we experience the situation of ‘eating humble pie’… Like a re-set to the body, discarding old patterns, behaviours and dogged beliefs, it is a new beginning, only now with a truck load of settlement, acceptance and grace.

  138. Yes, Matilda, feeling it is a failure to be ill is a big nut to crack, so we can open ourselves up to the amazing reflection offered by the body to support our learning and the grand opportunity to heal.

  140. With any illness there must always be two aspects to complete the healing process: support from medical professionals, and, a willingness from ourselves to look at our part in creating the illness.

    1. Yes, very true. If we don’t take ownership or responsibility about our part, asking ourselves questions such as ‘What was my part in this?’, then so much expectation is loaded onto medication to work, when the way we live and our lifestyle choices are contributing factors in the rise of ill health and dis-ease.

      1. We always have a part to play, we create everything we walk into and therefore will always have a lesson to learn from any given scenario.

  141. I have just been in a lesson where we looked at our modern understanding of heroes comparing them to what the Greeks believed to be a hero to be. It was an interesting exercise in that it exposed how many beliefs were felt to be false; in the modern era we don’t necessarily feel that dying gloriously is the way to go and yet for the Greeks this is something that was apparently aspired to. With time, many of the ideals and beliefs we hold as true or normal will simply get exposed as absurd. How awesome then to catch any personal ones we may have now and see them for what they are and maybe why we took them on in the first place.

  142. I would not find taking antibiotics as eating humble pie. If I have an infection and the doctor recommends antibiotics, I take them. I will look at why I got an infection but it need not be any failing at all or, if there is something that I would need to change I would then endeavour to do so.

  143. It is so liberating to let go of any ideals or beliefs we may have had in the past, and embrace the true love and support that we have available to us all of the time.

  144. Thanks, Matilda. I love your honesty about the ‘filing cabinet’s worth of pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals’. As we let go of these mental projections we start settling more in the body and surrendering to the wisdom that comes from within us.

    1. Is it stubbornness? Or is it a reluctance to be fragile and transparent…to openly admit that we need support and allow that love in?

      1. Good question, Otto! I for one have in the past resisted the love that is on offer, holding onto my layers of protection and justifying my choices from this position. To let others in is a deeply healing process.

    2. How many people have become disillusioned with the overstressed medical care providers and the lengthy waiting times for treatment that suffer in silence and hope it will get better with time?

    3. Yes, by not being honest about how we feel, overriding and denying what is there provokes great suffering. We normalise this in being stubborn.

  146. Absolute honesty brings with it constant learning and humble pie eating, which supports us to expose all the hindrances to living from the innate wisdom of the soul.

    1. I wonder if it is humble pie for only part of us while for another part it is actually quite a liberation.

  147. “Prompted by a beautiful man”…nothing like the love of another to make us feel our own love.

    1. So true Nikki. Which makes it ironic that this is what we so often resist.

  148. I too had that ‘stubborn streak’, but also a lot of fear, when it came to antibiotics for many years after a serious reaction to Penicillin followed by minor reactions to four others. In fact, if a doctor mentioned antibiotics I would run off, very fast, to try something alternative. But one day I was left with no alternative and antibiotics it was, so I allowed myself to open up to the possibility that this time all would be well – and it was. The condition was healed and the fear that had sat with me for so long began to dissipate. My body had known what it needed at that moment in time and supported me all the way.

  149. When we start opening up to the truth we can eat humble pie over a lot of things that surface for us to look at. Things we have held onto because they are familiar and it is our way of viewing the world. Everything can be questioned in order to clear the way for our deep knowing of the truth.

  150. Our critical mind will pick apart the most sensible straight forward thing and reframe its decision as being ‘true to our heart’ – our body is what gives away what is really true.

  151. There’s the surrender to receiving support and guidance on a wider scale, and then there’s the detail we can explore about why the sickness was – in this case – staying stuck in our left lung and not the right one etc.

  152. Yes, Matilda, it is very joyful to let go of an ideal or belief that has kept us separate from the innate wisdom of the body, as there is a sense of home-coming to the truth that was always there.

  153. What a strange expression of eating humble pie when learning something new should be exposing for us, to appreciate the evolution it brings. We are never too old to learn new things.

    1. I have found that when I need to eat some humble pie rather than appreciating the learning on offer I often tend to self-bash with the painful exposure… this does need to change because with it I am sabotaging the learning on offer.

    2. It’s true that ‘eating humble pie’ sometimes carries an element of judgement – but as you say, any learning is to be deeply embraced.

      1. … and letting go of being wrong! Humble pie brings a humility and a fragility that can be raw and honest. Much better than the arrogance we refused to see the truth with before-hand.

  155. Being a student of life naturally goes with being humble and or being humbled, how can we otherwise learn and get beyond the limitations and illusions we are caught in.

    1. True, Alexander. Most of us are living such a reduced version of all that we naturally are, that we need the reflection of others, events or illnesses to keep reminding us that we are so much more than what we have allowed ourselves to become.

  156. I love your humbleness and openness to changing and letting go of a long held belief about conventional medicine, and working with the medical profession and Universal Medicine.. they complement each other so well together.

  157. There are things that conventional medicine does magnificently and some where it falls short. From my understanding of the way medicine was practised in past eras, medicine and esoteric medicine were not separated and worked in harmony for the true healing of the client, just as all the parts of the body work together as one.

  158. It is so great to appreciate the opportunities we are given to see and to change our stubborn and ingrained ideals and beliefs and I just love that you shared your appreciation with your doctor, it is through our honest sharing that they are given the opportunity to change the way they see and approach their patients.

  160. “Oh it’s only a cough or cold. I’ll get better soon as I am tough and can handle it”. That’s me and I am sure many, stubbornly ignoring the body. Funny I used to think I would be fine because my “healthy” lifestyle would support the healing. Yet I had not considered nor could I see the fact that I was continuing to abuse myself which was the cause of the illness in the first place. And then I expect my body to naturally heal without any support… this is quite an arrogance to expose!

  161. Matilda thank you for sharing, it so easy for us to be stubborn and believe we know the best and that we put ourselves through the pain, when in truth we can allow the medicine to support us in the clearing.

  162. Recently I had the opportunity when I was unwell and could not manage looking after myself to allow others in to truly support me and this was an amazing thing, allowing my vulnerability and fragility to be felt and to be open to the love that was offered and this meant more than anything and I was deeply touched and blessed by everyone.

  163. “but what it actually shows is that I have not allowed myself to be taken care of and have ‘done’ hardship far too much…” Seeing this pattern of ‘doing hardship’ is tremendous insight and life changing, because with this awareness, there is a greater acceptance and deeper foundation of self love in the way we live and the subsequent choices we make.

  165. Choosing to be stubborn about choices can often leave little room to develop levels of understanding of our actions and how they affect ourselves and others potential to learn from experiences.

  166. One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves when we are unwell is not only ask for support and care but also to truly receive it.

    1. I agree we need to ask for support when we need it and be open to receiving the support too. So many of us put up with the struggle and fight within ourselves which is not necessary.

  167. Being able to allow support and to be vulnerable means we can let people in and let go of the pictures of where we think we need to be. Super freeing and important for a life of no conditions.

  168. I love that expression “Eating Humble pie” it’s a delicate and gracious way of admitting I got it so wrong, without self bashing or guilt.

    1. There is an allowing and simplicity to this approach – ‘eating humble pie’ – that has opened us so many opportunities to learn in my life, not least the realisation of the beauty of humility.

      1. I’m also discovering that there is more than one way of thinking, that is we all have our own interpretations on any one thing – therefore what is paramount is to be able to come to the Truth about that any one thing, which is equal for all people.

  169. I can relate to this – I’ll only take medication if I’m on death’s door. I recently had a dental appointment that left my mouth really sore and opted for a paracetamol – I begrudgingly swallowed it down but was relieved by its effects. Maybe I didn’t appreciate it and my mindset/beliefs as much as I do now having read this post. A lovely letter for the doc to receive as well.

  170. A great reminder that when we allow true support into our lives, whatever area that may be, we are offered the opportunity to heal things at a much deeper level that would otherwise not be accessible.

  171. Even or especially our highest ideals are the most ‘deadly’ ones, deadly in the sense of keeping us in an imaginary world known as illusion that makes us blind to the simplicity and truth of what life is in its essence.

  173. Reading through this article again I am struck by the simplicity of being open to all the opportunities that are laid before us to review how we behave and what beliefs we carry that inform our choices. The more I do this the simpler life becomes.

  174. Humble pie… sometimes is not what I like to eat, but when this comes to me there’s nothing better than that. Life is wise and me too when I just surrender to the next piece of evolution that is on offer.

  176. Reading this is a big deal for me. I have health issues I know I am not fully getting the support I need for and my body is saying no to hardship.

  177. ‘…but what it actually shows is that I have not allowed myself to be taken care of and have ‘done’ hardship far too much.’ such a powerful reasliation – how many of us simply do not let others care for us or let love in?

  179. This blog shows the real beauty of medicine combined with the way we live that makes absolute sense and allows true healing for our bodies, our selves and our lives; the appreciation of this is gold.

  180. Challenging and remaking such choices unlocks us to be open to more and more opportunities to observe this happening in our lives and to be free of such impositions.

  181. A very self-loving blog and life-experience Matilda, evidence of the truly great support that conventional medicine is and in particular when it brings us: “to explore and review a filing cabinet’s worth of pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals”.

  183. I can relate to the belief: ‘it is a failure and weakness to be ill and need the support of others’. Always having to be the tough woman who can do things herself and think she has done something ‘wrong’ to get sick. It hasn’t brought me anything but hardness and tightness in my body and kept me in motion instead of surrender to the healing and clearing that wants to take place.

  185. There is always an opportunity to review our fixed beliefs and ideals especially when it allows us to form a more self caring relationship with our bodies.

  186. Every time we make a choice, in this case going to see the doctor and taking a course of antibiotics, it’s important to realise that not only are we just doing an activity but we are engaging with a particular pattern, behaviour or imprint that we’ve left from the past, and hence are coming face to face with our previous choices, with an opportunity to change them, deepen the quality and lay a new foundation.

    1. Absolutely, it shows how literally everything in life is an opportunity for us to evolve and let go of what is not loving and supporting us.

  188. What a real opportunity you took when you expressed the appreciation you had for medical personnel that treated you. So many have come to use, medical facilities the same as coffee shops; pop in for a quick fix and off again.

  189. It is always a great feeling in my experience to have an ailment, to go to the doctor and the doctor can help. It has happened quite often with me.

  190. I love how you wrote to your GP as I’m sure not many people do that sort of thing anymore, most just seeing it as their job and totally taking the care we get for granted. I had a real stubbornness against going to the doctor as I saw it as the last resort or some kind of weakness but now thanks to a more overall outlook to my health I will go to see my GP if I need to.

    1. It sounds so simple and obvious when put like that: ‘I will go to see my GP if I need to’. How many of us resist this because of a belief we have about it being a sign of failure; that we do not want to bother someone; that mainstream medicine is inadequate… ?

  191. This shows me how much there is to learn about and in life in each and every moment. How lucky are we?

    1. So true Sarah – and for that even when I think I have the best understanding of something I can always question and feel whether there is more.

  192. We probably will not let go of our pride unless it gets humbled hence the need for lessons/opportunities like yours with the antibiotics. Only when we deepen or are forced to deepen our level of honesty will we admit the arrogance and ignorance, the excuses and justifications we are caught in.

  193. Matilda, I would say that very few, if any GPs get letters like the one you wrote and I would say that many, many more GPs need to get letters like it. Firstly it treats them like human beings rather than prescription writing robots and secondly it would be beautiful for them to know that you have allowed true healing, rather than just curing to occur in the course of taking antibiotics.

    1. Agree. A simple everyday act for a GP and one that deserves appreciation. Doing their job comes from a basis of care for people – that is worthy of huge appreciation.

  194. There can be quite a pattern to seek complementary or alternative healing, and in that, discount what mainstream medicine can deliver. So this blog is very beautiful to express the support that does come with marrying the two. It is not just relying on a drug to fix us but it is also not ‘my body will fix itself’ – the union of the 2 – taking responsibility as well as getting support when it is needed – it true healing.

    1. Rachel its great to see just how many areas of life I’ve been super stubborn over, yet it was that stubbornness that held me back and stopped me truly enjoying and embracing life.

  196. For many years I too resisted taking anything ‘medicinal’. Having chosen to take an ‘alterantive’ path to illness and disease, I came to think that I could cure any pain or sickness with other remedies and dug my heals in about using conventional medicine. But in the last few years I have eaten humble pie, and realised that a combination of prescribed medication and/or painkillers, along with a true regime of self care, we all have access to a win win combination of true health care at our fingertips.

  197. This is a great example how holding on to a belief lets us not see clearly. And there are so many beliefs on offer. So thank you for sharing how liberating it is and the clarity it brings to open our heart and put our stubborn mind into place.

    1. Yes, I very much like the thousand blinkers, it is exactly how we are blinding ourselves to not see everything there is to see. We have taken a very narrow road to walk on, it is time we allowed ourselves to open up to the broad way of all that life is about.

  198. We can ‘eat humble pie’ about so many things. When we realise that the ideals we have lived by are simply not true we need to become humble enough to admit this and let them go. A great read. Thank you.

    1. I agree Rebecca and I can feel this playing out in another way in my life now – what is surprising is not that I had held onto something in this way but just how much can be learnt from what is behind and
      connected to this choice.

  199. I love the letter that you have written to your GP, how inspiring and it makes me wonder what would happen if we all started to appreciate the people in our lives in this way – for example, could there be letters of appreciation written to the bus company, the school teachers, the bank…etc?

    1. I recently wrote a letter of love and appreciation to someone very close and dear to me and when I saw this person next, although the letter was not mentioned, I could feel the love, and openness between us had deepened, but that which was equally beautiful was that as I wrote the letter (handwritten) I could feel the love and joy expanding within me as I thought of this person, and as this joy continued to expand I realised that in acknowledging and expressing my love and appreciation to another I was showered with love and appreciation from above….. expanding the joy and love I had already been feeling.

    1. I’m tough, I can prove it, I don’t need help vs I’m tender, I am love, I choose support

  201. Is there a reason to be apologetic for learning the truth of something we had a picture of, that was not true? Or, is this just part of our evolution?

  203. I love your level of care and appreciation towards writing a letter to your GP, you inspire us all to not hold back expressing our appreciation Matilda. Our world is starved of people expressing appreciation so openly like this. A huge thank you for blessing us all with your sharing and appreciation.

  204. I love how you are willing to expose the beliefs that had kept you caught in a cycle of self denial of medical and other support when your body was crying out for help. It is wonderful to feel the loosening of the tentacles of ideals around never giving in and admitting the need for support as if we will somehow be diminished by showing our vulnerability.

  205. For many years I had the same dismissiveness towards medical drugs and would do anything rather than let a minute particle of a drug near my mouth. When diagnosed with Lyme’s disease many years ago, there was no choice other than to take the strongest drugs available to negate the disease. I soon learnt to appreciate that they were supporting my healing and to treat taking them differently. This made a huge difference in the previously ill informed, arrogant and judgemental attitudes and beliefs about taking medicines I had held. Serge Benhayon confirmed what I was then already aware of – the fact that there is a place for allopathic and energetic medicine to work well together and at times very necessary for our health, wellbeing and evolution.

  206. It’s ideas of what is right and wrong that truly make us ill. The more we let go of judging what we all do, the space to heal that we bring.

  207. Great realisation Matilda it is easy to champion ourselves for thinking we don’t need to go to the doctors because we can stick it out and we will improve over time, yet it puts a real strain on our body and to seek support early is the most loving thing to do.

  208. I took a pain killer in my life once before a few years ago, and then only after I had broken my shoulder and couldn’t sleep from the pain. So ingrained was that ideal that I was a ‘clean baby’ that I would put myself through all sorts just to claim that title.

    1. Yes, there is a pride in it, we champion ourselves with so many things and it is good to expose them for the craziness they are.

  210. I can relate to what you share Matilda and haven’t needed to take antibiotics for years and saw it as a failure to not do so. Only last week, I felt the same twinge of resistance when my dentist offered to prescribe antibiotics for a tooth infection. On this occasion, I felt my choice to decline was the right one. I didn’t need them. We have to be discerning in our choices and not stick to old patterns out of sheer stubbornness, but feel what is truly needed to support us.

  211. The origins of Western Medicine were pure but the use of medicines has grown beyond simple herbs to complex pharmaceuticals, not always ethically created and usually worth a great deal of money to the companies involved. As a result certain drugs are offered patients and not always needed. It is for us to discern where these drugs can help and where the side effects outweigh the disease. Good communication with our GP is essential so that we feel free to discuss all the implications of taking or not taking any drug.

  212. I can so relate to everything you have been sharing and I am so grateful for Serge Benhayon & Universal Medicine’s role in this area, because without such support I would very likely still be stuck in my ideas that avoiding orthodox medicine and trying to make do with alternative ways of coping with things, even if it meant suffering along the line.

  213. It is very humbling when we realize just how much our ideals and beliefs can be the cause of so much distress. Life can be so simple when we decide to ditch them in favour of what is truly needed.

    1. Yes, very true, when we see and experience how simple life can be when we let go and surrender into what is needed, it highlights just how much energy goes into the push and the drive of maintaining these ideals and beliefs.

  214. Matilda, I can very much relate to what you are sharing in this article. I used to be very critical of doctors and would rarely follow their advice – always thinking that they did not know what they were doing – writing this I can feel how arrogant it is to hold doctors in this way and how unsupportive this has been for my health. It is very gorgeous that you are opening up to allowing support and not allowing pictures, ideals and beliefs to get in the way of healing and taking care of yourself.

  215. The ideals and beliefs we develop and hold as adults can prevent us from realising what is on offer for us in any moment.

  216. I also championed my ability for not getting ill, but from unhealthy lifestyle reasons. I felt my wellness was because of the toxic environment my body had gotten used to and it would not support most bugs. Medical intervention was for years, only required when I was stretchered into A & E, normally from terrible choices. My body now carries the scars of bad lifestyle choices and is now lovingly tended to by me, including medical MOTs to practise future healthcare today.

  217. This is a great message that we are never above modern medicine, in fact we could say it’s a crucial part of our health and well being – and also how profound even a cough can be in helping us change age-old patterns.

  218. When we live a life from ‘should’ we cut ourselves off from feeling what is true for us and therefore we miss out on golden opportunities that bring a greater love for self. Every time I find myself being dismissive there is a ‘should’ that gets in the way! The more honest I am with myself in life, the less ‘shoulds’ are playing out in my life.

  219. I can only recall ever having to take antibiotics a few times in my life, but especially on one of those occasions I was fighting a losing battle with a type of flu and finally decided to drag myself off to the doctor and man, the results were amazing. I know they say that antibiotics are over prescribed and are in a lot of our food but if used correctly they do have the desired effect.

    1. I love this comment. It is like we are surprised that antibiotics actually work, which suggests to me that we complicate and confuse things a lot in life. The media, our tendency to gossip and circulate our opinions (that are not necessarily based on fact) all muddy the waters that are actually, when left alone, very clear.

  220. Many people are belligerently anti Western medicine and hold on to this idealised image of how they want to take care of themselves without it; medicine supports greatly and there comes a point when it is time to drop the ideals and beliefs and get real. Yes, it can be that easy.

    1. Yes, it can. And in letting go of the arrogance, beliefs, opinions etc that get in the way of being open to all the learning on offer, we are gifted with the humility of being a student in life.

  221. Matilda I can really relate to what you have shared. I also recognise in myself a similar idea about championing my ability to not get sick, as well avoiding conventional medicine, as if I am in some way a ‘better’ or ‘stronger’ person if I do. It’s very freeing to re-evaluate, as you have done, our ideas and beliefs about things, so as to prise their fingers off of our lives and free our bodies up, in order to make more space for the light of God to come through.

  222. This is another win for Universal Medicine and for Western Medicine too, as one more person has been empowered to drop the ideals and beliefs about our orthodox medical practitioners and appreciate them for what they truly are, essential support in our health care regime.

  223. We carry so many pictures, ideals and beliefs that we have no idea we are carrying until we are willing to eat humble pie and see them.

  224. Arrogance never serves us does it? It shuts people out, it can crush people and creates separation that leaves us feeling lost and lonely. But arrogance can be seen lingering pretty much in most of our behaviours. Thank you Matilda, for exposing how harmful arrogance can be.

  225. Isn’t it fascinating that we can believe in something and then it can rule or dominate us until such time that it is challenged and then you make a different choice and you can see clearly how it wasn’t your truth all along.

  226. There is no one way with antibiotics as in that sometimes it is good to take them and sometimes it is actually not needed and it is for us to discern that each time and be open to what is needed. When we are prejudiced or set on doing things a certain way and don’t want to change this becomes a retardation in our own health and whole well-being. So it is about being open to learn and go with what is needed instead of doing it our own set way.

  227. Stepping out of our comfort zone is a sure-fire way to learn and discover what we may never have know had we stayed with what we believe to be right.

  228. I love this too Shirley-Ann. It is rare that anyone takes the time these days to write a letter of appreciation and I can guarantee that when that GP received the letter it would have made his/her week! For Matilda to have shared what was for her a profound moment of realisation because of the support she had been offered, it would have sent a ripple that would have continued through the doctor onto yet more patients.

  229. This is a great reminder to go visit my GP and have some blood test done as I am well over due. And also to always consider we never do anything alone there is always an energy involved and when we start to discern the difference between love and the ill energy we are starting to place ourself in the hands of God.

  230. There are many problems with taking antibiotics, one is that the bugs become resistant to them and another is the awful side effects. We can help ourselves to minimise the side effects by looking after our bodies and not leaving it all up to the medicine to do its part. Looking after our bodies also reduces the number of times we have to take antibiotics.

  231. Even after reading this blog, it’s taken me far longer than it should to organise myself to go and see the doctors for my cough – even yesterday at work as I coughed up a lung and others even offered to call the doctors for me, I made excuses and said I was fine. It is amazing how deep our stubbornness can go!

    1. Awesome you recognise this Rebecca. I was wondering, is it possible for example, before a cough appears, our body is already communicating to us that something is out of harmony in our body and the cough is simply a louder message for us to stop and listen?

      1. Very possible – i know for me it is not something i am in tune with yet, but certainly i do feel that there has to be a momentum of disharmony before it manifests into illness.

    2. Now at the end of my course of antibiotics and I am very much humbled by my body’s ability to bring me to a grinding halt and what we can feel and let go of when we surrender to that process

  232. It’s great when we can let go of old ideals and beliefs that do not, in truth support us. What could be lovelier than allowing more support in and feeling the greater benefit.

  234. Sometimes when we get stuck in our beliefs of what we should and shouldn’t do without allowing for any leeway, we can override and reject things that could be of true assistance to us.

  235. It’s great to be open to challenging the status quo, in doing so realising that there can be so much for us to learn in the process to our great benefit.

  236. Why do we find it so hard to accept help from another? We have no problem asking for help to move a couch! Have you ever tried to cut your hair with three mirrors? Who do we take our ill pets, broken car, phone, washing machine to? So, why do we hold back for asking for help with our bodies? Would it kill us to ask? In some cases, it could kill us for not asking!

  237. There is such a beautiful aspect of surrender here in your experience, a letting-go of the long-held ideals and beliefs – A surrendering of these so that the body can be totally held, supported and loved from every angle .. it’s like allowing yourself to fall into the arms of brotherhood.

  238. Beautiful Matilda, yes getting rid of that stubborn pride we can have in doing it by ourselves is priceless. I know that one too well. Asking for support is actually a great strength.

    1. Well said Matts, I absolutely agree. Asking for support also shows our vulnerability and hence why often we tend to shy away from this because we may be afraid to show our vulnerability to the world.

  239. Beautifully honest and inspiring Matilda. I love your letter to your GP and my guess is not many patients would think to write amazing letters of appreciation to their GPs. What you’ve shared is huge and very relatable, the ideals and beliefs we hold can sometimes be very harmful and we tend not to realise this until we’ve healed and let them go.

  240. What an amazing sharing, to understand that we can get support, that we don’t have to do life hard.

  241. Beautiful to read Matilda, of what is possible when we are willing to let go of our ‘stubborn’ ways, and allow ourselves to be truly helped and supported.

    1. And what I find is that others are often more than willing to support, it is we that resist asking for it and sometimes accepting it.

    2. Is stubbornness our resistance to receiving love from others? It is one I have used in the past to shut people out and it doesn’t feel supportive or loving at all. It is great to let go of stubbornness and allow the love to flow in and out.

  242. I too prescribed to a staunch “I can manage without the pharmaceuticals thank you” for a long time. In fact right until I met Serge Benhayon, who inspired me to start re-examining many of the ideals and beliefs that in one way or another did not support a loving, caring, deepening and evolving life for myself and everyone else. Life seems to offer plenty of opportunities to keep examining the many ideals. You offer a wonderful example for how we can be open, honest and willing to observe, understand and deepen our awareness.

  243. I love the fact that you wrote a letter to your GP expressing thanks and what has changed for you .. your deeper understanding and healing, very cool. I do not think we appreciate others, including services enough and express this.

    1. I agree Vicky, I was touched that Matilda took the time and the care to write to her GP. As a society we don’t communicate nearly enough with each other and the tragic thing is, what we do end up communicating, is often not true. A very sad state of affairs and one that perpetuates the struggles that we constantly find ourselves in.

      1. That’s spot on Alexis – why do we only write to complain, but never to express how much we appreciate someone or a service? It seems to me a flip-reversal approach is needed.

  244. Not asking for or willing to accept help when offered in times of need is self-abuse.

    1. Great point Jstewart51, not many people would consider this as abuse because we tend to have a belief as a society that you are stronger if you just soldiered on and worked it out yourself. My understanding is, anything that is not loving is abuse and there are no grey areas, our choices are either abusive or they are not.

      1. What a sad illusion it is to believe that one is stronger when one ‘just soldiered on’ for by doing so one denies oneself all the love that is available, let alone the fact the belief is false.

      1. So true and a most powerful antidote is to develop consistently self-appreciation.

    3. Thank you for going there, Jonathan. The ways we abuse ourselves are plenty and not allowing ourselves to be supported, cared for and helped by others is one of the most common and sneaky forms of it.

      1. The most insidious forms of abuse are usually perceived as being beneficial and rewarded by society.

  245. I love the letter you sent to your GP, Matilda. Appreciation in every relationship is a key ingredient that develops connection and quality… What would the impact be if we had more appreciation in the relationship between patient and clinician or carer? Could this change the attitude both parties have towards medicine, health and future interactions, seeing appointments as opportunities to uncover something, learn, support and move forward, rather than another ‘to do’?

  246. I love the phrase ‘eating humble pie’ as it has a cheecky kind of joy to it that none the less leaves us very humble. It is the best way to learn and grow and I would like to get a regular serving :-).

  248. It’s great to expose the belief that we have ‘failed’ if we are ill, thinking that gets in the way of us being open to seeing what is there for us to potentially learn from the situation…

    1. So true Fiona, and this is a level of self-bashing you could say to stop us from truly seeing what has been presented and the healing that could take place.

  249. Something I have realised, especially over the last couple of years, working in a professional capacity much more closely with GP’s is that they really do love supporting people. So being open to receiving that support is a great support to them. For this can bring out their tender and caring natures, rather than just their smarts.

    1. In fact so many people love to offer support the issue seems to be more that most of us are not willing to accept it.

      1. I agree Fiona. We also don’t like asking for it. Perhaps we think that it’s a sign of weakness or not being able to cope with life. But the truth is that asking for and accepting support shows us our strength and our willingness to let people in at the same time. It is one of the ways that I have found to really build relationships.

      2. Great comments Fiona and Jennifer. Also, not wanting to ask for help could mean we are avoiding showing our vulnerability because we may have shut this part of who we are down and also perhaps due to the fact that our world currently does not support vulnerability, fragility and nurturing ourselves.

  250. I used to be so adamant that Western Medicine had nothing to offer me, but that was because I was expecting the doctor to do all the work and somehow magically fix my largely self inflicted ills. All this has changed now, as when I do choose to seek assistance with a health matter, at least I am doing so from a point of equal responsibility and not expecting the doctor to repair the damage I have done to myself through my lifestyle choices.

    1. Rowena that’s brilliant that you have recognised this, for it is so common. So common in fact that I think that some doctors believe this. I feel this could be part of the reason why they can feel so isolated in practice. From a profession perspective working with Doctors, they love feeling supported, even if it is by a nurse. But all this does is highlight that what is important is that people are supporting people, no matter what role someone is in. It also highlights that the role matters not, but how we are together.

  251. I love that you wrote an email to your GP appreciating the support you received. There is so much support there for us, from each other, if we are open to it and allow it to come. I had great support just recently from my GP regarding some medication, she gave me all the time I needed to ask all the questions I had and explained everything to me. I expressed my appreciation when I spoke with her next.

  252. I have learnt that we are continually begin offered life lessons as we move through our days and sometimes they come from a source we don’t quite expect – in this case a dose of antibiotics. It appears that from your acceptance of the necessity for antibiotics your ‘stubbornness’ has just taken another loving hit and is on its way to being totally dismantled.

  253. It feels it’s not so much about eating humble pie, for sure we may have been arrogant thinking we know something because our beliefs have sent us down that track. But the learning in openness needs appreciating, having those beliefs and letting them go is all a part of the journey.

  254. I agree Richard and I noticed this too asking myself the question, how often do we stop to appreciate the people in our lives such as this and then take the time to express this to them in more than a passing word?

  255. I also stubbornly refused to take antibiotics for many many years because I was under the erroneous belief that they would harm me. And while there may be an element of truth in this if they are taken in excess and without due cause, I still failed to recognise that my obstinacy was wreaking more havoc within me than a course of antibiotics ever would! And so I too join you in sharing this piece of humble pie Matilda.

  256. How can one be with the body and be absolutely honest if one is not honouring what it is that it requires? This maybe a certain food at a time of the month; or whether it be stretching, gentle or more resistant exercise; a walk; which practitioner to see and for what type of healing body work. Some of these are daily disciplines with others being part of my weekly rhythm. All in all it is honouring my body in full.

  257. I know this ‘being stubbornly proud thing’ so well, I have had years of having very regular migraines and suffered a lot and my family with me but I was not willing to go to my GP, tried other things but I was very proud of myself I did not use painkillers but basically it was stubborn and I was way too hard on myself and no true care at all.

  258. Beautiful blog and I’m sure a common story that many could relate to. The false belief that illness is a failure or fault of the body is such an ingrained one in our society.

    1. Feeling like a failure, not just through illness, is definitely deeply ingrained in many facets of life from work, relationships, income etc. We feel like failures because we invest in pictures, ideals and beliefs at the expense of connecting to ourselves and what we know to be true.

      1. So true Michelle, and it’s almost like society has created all these various pictures of what it looks like to be the ‘perfect mom’, the ‘perfect student’, ‘the perfect teacher’, etc. and it is all so unrealistic, not to mention disregarding of the great opportunities for growth and evolution that come to us via our daily mis-takes and failures.

      2. When we stop to ponder life from within this context we can clearly see the level of illusion we live in and subscribe to. The stench of it is thick and all pervading and yet the moment we stop to connect we are given windows through it all. In this awareness we are given tools to keep chipping away at what we have constructed, until one day, we will be able to see through every last bit of it.

  260. Doctors spend years learning about the human body and I totally respect that and find the medical profession well worth consulting. At the same time I know my own body from the inside so it is important that my view is taken into account too. I will always seek a diagnosis from my GP or a specialist and will, in consultation, discuss fully any medication he or she offers to prescribe for me.

  261. It’s so gracious how we are put in scenarios that give us the opportunity to address those sorts of ideals.

    1. If this is true then could it be that our various illnesses and diseases are indeed a blessing and not a curse and to truly arise from them we need only surrender to the process and not fight it?

      1. I wonder if this sort of contemplation would then lead to national health systems which do not go bankrupt under the pressure of irresponsible relief and return…

  262. Hi Matilda, I loved how you have clocked how important it is to allow others to support us as that has always been a big one for me also.

  263. Love your letter to your doctor. I feel more appreciation needs to be given to the health care system as all too often we take what they offer us for granted.

  264. Thank you for sharing this ordinary everyday example that we can likely all relate to. It’s clearly very healthy thing to have our ideals and beliefs challenged.

    1. Very true Rosanna, there are so many things we hold onto, so many ideals and ways of thinking that are very unhealthy.

  265. I have always hated antibiotics. They make me feel even more ill and totally unlike myself. But sometimes they are needed and are the quickest way to heal an infection. if we need them we need to surrender to this healing process and forget any ideals we have created.

  266. I’m sure you would have made your GP’s day Matilda! I wonder how often doctors are given feedback from patients to let them know they are doing well, or that a deeper issue has been addressed thanks to their support.

    1. Yes – and how often do we give anyone feedback for that deeper issue that has been addressed because of their support? We are very good at jumping in when we need to make a complaint – how often do we actually express love and appreciation when we feel it?

  267. There are so many beliefs about what is good or not good for the body and I know that feeling of antibiotics being bad like other medicines. However, none of it is bad when used in accordance to what the body needs at that time to heal. And as you so beautifully express Matilda, it’s holding the belief higher than the true self care that is needed at that time that gets in that way of true medicine.

  268. Regarding illness in general – either people see it as a weakness and champion themselves, when they get out of it without medication or those that use illness and disease to get recognition. Either way it is a form of avoiding the reflection of what your body is communicating. When we put the judgement aside I am sure we know in every moment exactly what needs to be taken in or not and what modality would support best to become healthy again.

  269. It is great when we first and foremost feel into our body, why we got sick. But to then go into any suffering or enduring mode instead of getting the support by western medicine is simply just not smart. It needs a balance between those possibilities – then you can self lovingly rehabilitate and have the space to look into in a surrendered way, why things occurred how they occurred.

  270. I am on my second day of taking paracetamol after having cold/flu like symptoms .. something many years ago I would never ever have done and like you only would have sought alternative treatments. The beauty is I feel the cold/flu came on after I had a very clear moment of seeing just how much I push myself and do not have self regard so it feels like my body is clearing a lot I have held onto which is not loving. I feel this is the missing link in that it is fine to take medicine but to also be willing to see why we have the illness/dis-ease in the first place as when we do this .. this is the true healing and allow us to get to the root of the problem. There is still so much for me to learn here.

  271. I feel the time is on us to be open to all there is on offer for healing these days, we have to be open to the fact that illness and disease is rife and a total overall approach is needed and if that means taking antibiotics or any other form of true healing then that is what we must do. From the way we get up in the morning to the way we put ourselves to bed, it can all be classed as medicine.

    1. Listening to our body and learning what it needs is a great way to avoid needing medical intervention, it’s like future health-care in practice today. But, there will always be things out there laying in wait, that will require the assistance of western, holistic and alternative medicine.

  272. Matlida this is huge because I know you to be so supportive, gentle and caring of others yet you were not able to take care of yourself. And I know so many women especially that have this trait and I wonder where it comes from?

    1. More care for others than for ourselves is always exploiting us. Why don’t we feel worth enough to deserve the same care and love we offer to other people?

  273. We are humbled by that which ‘breaks’ us and this ‘break’ is not a weakening of us but actually a strengthening that happens when we let go of our stubborn ways that have prevented true healing to occur. This is a very gorgeous and honest example of such a process Matilda and one I am sure we can all relate to.

  274. Great sharing Matilda especially about how easily we can battle through thinking we know best and not wanting or allowing support from those around us. I have never liked going to the doctors but now see the support they can offer me.

  275. Love the email to your doctor. It is quite ridiculous at times how we champion the ‘hardship’, how much pain and suffering we can endure without being reduced to ask for support in any way. The big question here is why? Why do we choose such martyrdom rather than surrendering to the situation, seeking help, enabling our selves to feel well again and move on!

  276. What an excellent opportunity to review your cabinet of beliefs regarding conventional medicine and the use of antibiotics. It just goes to show that once we start to unpick these beliefs that we hold on to so fervently, we see that often they are retarding our growth.

    1. I loved Matilda’s very clear description of ‘filing cabinet’s worth of pictures, beliefs, opinions and ideals about how I have always thought things ‘should’ be”. How many different filing cabinets do each of us have ?! It is just as important to go through these ones and clear what is holding us back equally as we would physically tidy up office filing cabinets.

      1. The more I uncover them, the more insidious I have found the ideals and beliefs I hold on to are. They have been a part of how I have filtered life and I have depended on them for so long. When one comes up to really look at, it can be quite a shock that something you perceived to be so normal, and something you used quite heavily to guide you through life, turns out to be completely false – and not only completely false but very damaging too.

  277. Matilda, simple and honest sharing. It pays be open to receive support from others and not cling on to age old beliefs about medicine that could hinder or delay healing.

  278. It’s a great question – why is that the last port of call? One of the things I notice in me is that I can be so stubborn when something is wrong…. saying to myself that I can fix it myself and I don’t need the help. Self responsibility is great, but to ignore support and those that can help is super short-sighted.

  279. We can get stuck in old behaviours and patterns for many lifetimes where we cap ourselves from evolving but for every belief, ideal, picture no matter how big, small or petty we think it is, it can be life changing and taking antibiotics after more than twenty years is by no means no exception. Thank you Matilda for sharing.

  280. It’s amazing what patterns and ideals we carry around in our back pack unawares…. big or little things that can hold us in a fixed way of thinking rather than seeing the more obvious signals of what our body is saying (or shouting!).

  282. Unless we are willing to accept where we are at then there can be no growth and no evolution. We keep going round on the wheel until there comes a point when to feel below par is ok and to seek support from others is a natural way of life. We place so much on the body that often we are left with no choice but to listen to it, but what if we began to respond to the body at the first sign of deepening our care for it and to seek support sooner rather than later.

  283. A beautiful sharing Matilda. The exposure of the consciousness of the typical ‘stiff upper lip’ that the British have always been renowned for, now being deconstructed through seeking support for a lingering ailment.
    “how I should present myself in the world and that it is a failure and weakness to be ill and need the support of others”.

  284. We keep our old ideas like they are cast in iron, immovable and undoubtedly true. But real truth is in constant movement like the world, not stuck rigid like a metal pole.

  285. I Love this, thank you for sharing. We have so many patterns and habits we pay little attention to, almost as if they are us and I do Love it when me / we get a break through and expose one of these said patterns / habits. Being aware of what we think and not making assumptions is a very healthy practice to consider. Conventional and Complementary Medicine both have place in society and it is important we utilise both as is required.

  286. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable and go beyond what we have thought to be the way and allow a new way we are presented with much love and support.

    1. Yes it can be like stepping through a door that opens up to more than we could have ever imagined.

  287. Beautiful blog Matilda. Opening ourselves up to receive support can have seismic effects on our health and our wellbeing.

  289. When we allow ourselves to be open to change, or looking at something in a different way/light, miracles can occur.

  290. We can be shown things at any point in time, as is shared here, Matilda. If we are open to another way, then what a beautiful opportunity for us to let go of ideals, beliefs and past hurts.

  291. I am sure a lot of people can relate too this. As a nurse I have found that men generally resist seeking help, as this is an admission that they are not the indestructible ‘boys don’t cry’ beings that society tells them they are supposed to be. But once they are sick they seem to be able to accept it and surrender to the rest and support needed. Whereas women are so identified with being ok, so they can take care of everyone and everything else that they won’t rest or accept help even when they are sick. This blog shows the huge healing that can be on offer if we let go of this. We knew it was lovely to be cared for as kids, so we just need to come back to this.

  292. Your deep healing on many levels Matilda is an inspiring example of what can come about when we are willing to let go and embrace change.

    2. Indeed Rosemary it is amazing what can come about when we are willing to let go of things we are holding onto and embrace change and what is before us.

      1. It surely is amazing James that when we let go of ideals, beliefs or habits no longer needed, we open a space within ourselves and our life that allows not only healing to occur but opportunities or ways of being we may not even have considered possible before.

      2. And then we have the opportunity to make these ‘new’ ways our normal and then we get to go even deeper as the Universe is forever expanding. It can be so easy to think we need to get to an end goal or point but what if there is not one, this would change our approach to everything.

      4. It sure is seeing each moment of completition as an opportunity to go deeper – it definitely is and feels very spacious. Otherwise we get what we want and then what? I found in the past I then settled and stopped moving and so slowly undid everything I had worked for.

      5. Getting what we want materially never satisfies and can never compete with the feeling of spaciouness and deep love that comes from connecting within.

      6. I agree no matter what I can get materially, no amount of money has ever truly fulfilled and satisfied me. For example I have had some periods gambling and I have had some quite extreme amounts of money where logically anyone would stop but it has never been enough to truly satisfy me – which shows there was something missing and that was love for without it we are, at least I am for sure, constantly searching for it.

      7. That’s the ironic thing James, most of us would agree we have spent much of our lives searching for love, and that which we so dearly want has been with us the whole time quietly waiting for us to come to that realisation and make the connection.

      8. It is very ironic we have everything inside us we could always have ever wanted yet go outside of ourselves seeking it, yet nothing ever matches up nor ever will. Universal Medicine presents to us tools and ways to reconnect within to the love that we already know and are and only then do we start to feel true contentment within ourselves.

  293. I also learnt after many years of using only alternative methods of healing that Western medicine has a lot to offer and that letting go of my firmly held ideals and beliefs around this opened the way for healing on many levels.

  294. I love this clear and simple and beautiful example of letting support happen.

  295. Exploring our ideals and beliefs about how things ‘should’ be.. this is a fascinating work in progress for most of us, and we learn so much more about ourselves, and others, when we just allow ourselves to feel and be with whatever presents, rather than needing things to be a certain way. The world feels bigger and freer when we let go and just allow ourselves to be, clocking our reactions to things without judging ourselves for them.

  296. I can relate to the feeling of failure or being weak when illness would happen, especially as it happened a lot through my life. In these experiences I started to distrust the care and abilities of conventional medicine and turned more and more to alternatives. Only through Universal Medicine have I regained a deep respect and healthy relationship with conventional medicine as it has opened my eyes to how it is complementary to complementary medicine.

    1. I agree Carolien, these medicines work well together to treat the whole–body and being. In my experience to truly heal both ‘inner’ and outer medicine are needed as part of the whole.

  297. I am a fan of your blogs Matilda, they are always so beautifully honest without an ounce of self bashing and full of wonder and openness, the only way to be in this life and you are a great inspiration for it.

  298. I agree Matilda, there are plenty of ways to get our relationship with medicine wrong. It is not perfect but it is actually brilliant as well.

  299. Being aware how our beliefs shape our thoughts is an enormous learning Matlida, I love it. We have so much to observe when we are open to realising this and we can actually laugh about how stubbornly we have behaved.

  300. “So, more than just physiological support…” wow, what a very deep healing you and your body have surrendered into… An example of where conventional medicine meets esoteric medicine.

  302. Ideals and beliefs around illness and disease are huge. I noticed the other day that I had a belief that it’s better for a disease to go away naturally without support of medicine or just simple support like a camomile steaming or rosemary oil when you have a blocked nose. It revealed for me also a lack of deep love for myself but also a delaying of the healing of the illness.

  303. It’s amazing the difference someone can make by encouraging us to open up to taking more true care of ourselves and be open to seeing where we may have beliefs that are getting in the way of us doing so.

  304. It can be all to easy to fall into not wanting to rely on medicine – wanting to carry on regardless and ‘be strong’. I am prescribed very strong painkillers, but often find myself waiting till I’m in agony before caving and taking the medicine rather than giving my body the support and not letting it get totally stressed by the high pain levels whilst I then wait for the medication to kick in. When I feel into this pattern, it is a part of me that wants to see if I can cope alone, until my body literally brings me to my knees.

  305. Wow this is such an important message – we pride ourselves on our ability to push through, to not rely on anything, from medicine to other people in life, and yet we do not appreciate the level of hardness we put ourselves in to struggle through.

    1. What you say is so true Rebecca. And I just compared this situation to a car. It would be equivalent to refusing to take our car to the garage when we notice niggling things and just run the car to the ground because it is still able to take us from A to B. It is a very crazy behaviour we have been priding ourselves with.

      1. I agree – we patch ourselves up as best we can but never truly take care.

    2. I absolutely agree Rebecca. Even though our behaviour can be dressed up as being selfless or not wanting to bother anyone else, there is a lot of pride and individuality when we wont ask for help. It really is quite self-abusive to treat our body as though it should be indestructible and make it push on, just to prove we can.

      1. I hadn’t really thought about the pride and individuality of the action of not asking for help – I know when I offer others I love support and they turn it down out of stubborn pride it can be very hurtful and frustrating because they are further hurting themselves because they can’t accept the love and support of another.

  306. Thank you Matilda, I feel you have exposed a common attitude here that many people, self included, hold about being sick, needing support and asking for it, from our doctors or anyone. I too learnt the hard way, struggled through a kidney infection once without going near a doctor. But these days all is very different thanks to meeting Universal Medicine and being encouraged to ask for help when my body is struggling. And what amazing help is out there in the form of orthodox medicine and some very well trained experts who can assist us so much more, the more we are prepared to assist our selves.

    1. I too have learned to ask for support far more than I used to. Serge Benhayon was definitely instrumental in the turn around in my seeking orthodox medical support and assistance I have received from them has been wonderful.

  307. Beautiful shift, and one that is clearly healing far more than the cough for sure.

  308. What a great learning Matilda. I know I hold a great deal of the same beliefs that you did. I have always favoured natural medicine over mainstream medicine, sometimes to my own detriment. How great to have an opportunity to let this belief go.

  309. You are right about having trouble when it comes to allowing others to take care of you. Moreover, it’s cool to sometimes give in to their care.

  310. Thank you Matilda I so relate to the arrogance and pride in disdaining conventional medicine and the feelings of failure around getting ill but what I love about what you have shared is the beautiful email that you sent to your GP and your heartfelt appreciation for the process that you went through. Humbling and inspiring and a powerful reflection of the relationship that we can all have when we work with our bodies and the support that is available to us from both professionals and friends.

  311. One of the beliefs I still have to flush out is along the lines of ‘they won’t be able to help anyway’ – they being the GP. What I realised was that I was setting the scene for when I go – already expecting a negative and I don’t know response.

    1. Yes, you get what you ask for – even when you are not aware that you are asking not to heal. The doctor senses this as well and it can wear him or her down.

  312. Refusing help when needed, regardless of where it comes from be it conventional medicine or other people is a set up for being miserable and living a lesser quality of life. Equally important to discern where help may be coming from because at times it can be anything but helpful.

  313. “Hardship” is definitely a great word to describe it when we resist modern medicine. For a few years in my late teens I resisted any form of drug or pain killer, pushing myself through discomfort and pain regardless of how serious it was and submitting myself to a non-stop life of hardship, instead of surrendering and accepting the healing on offer.

  314. How revealing and supportive to hear what you’ve recounted. I’ve just been going through exactly the same thing and my trepidation in taking the antibiotics was completely unfounded. And my GP was very supportive. My cough is all but gone – just came back briefly when reading your blog – which was interesting in itself.

  315. A beautiful sharing of the truth of medicine and our relationship with it. The importance of conventional Medicine and our responsibility with our health and how we care for ourselves accepting and honouring what is needed with love.

  316. Many of us can get stuck in this arrogance Matilda, perhaps we do so because the pill we want to take to solve our problems often doesn’t do the trick on it’s own so we resort to blame, disregard and looking down on the system.

    1. A good point Victoria, when we place our expectations in something else to make us better without being willing to play our part in the equation it is comfortable and easy to just blame it, ‘the medicine’ as not working, and therefore cement that belief that allopathic medicine does not work.

      1. We are an equal part in the healing of our aliments if we are prepared to take the loving responsibility to truly listen to what is being shown through the body–and consider whether the way our life is being lived day to day is conducive to our overall well being.

    2. well picked up on Viktoria, if we only look at medicine to do it for us we will be more often disappointed. There is always a part to play for ourselves in every healing proces.

  317. Lovely to read your appreciation for your doctor Matilda, so often we take doctors for granted expecting them to fix us without being willing to take responsibility for our own health. We should be able to work with conventional medicine, listening to our body and responding to what is supportive for us at that moment.

  318. Awesome – the support of conventional medicine is to be truly appreciated and we can combine this with our understanding of why we have a illness to truly bring full healing.

  319. Thank you so much, Matilda, for sharing your experience. It is humbling to admit that we can’t do life on our own and that we very much need the support of others, and yes we fall ill, wobble and are vulnerable like everyone else. In starting to let go of my own pride I understand that these ideals or beliefs are ones we take on in reaction to having felt hurt or let down, but these ideals and beliefs then imbue us with a sense of arrogance, sometimes with a subtlety so that we don’t notice it, but an arrogance that is still very present – very liberating to let go of.

  320. I just finished a course of antibiotics today and I was okay with taking them because I had, like you, been unwell for weeks and my glands were showing there was some kind of infection. But what was interesting was that with me taking antibiotics, people around me shared their thoughts on taking medicine. Some were surprised I would take them, as they know I look after myself in many ways and didn’t think I would put something like this in my body, so that showed a judgement with medicine. Holding on to any beliefs and ideals make us sicker than any infection and affect us more than we realise.

  321. Beautifully shared. Thank you Matilda. It is amazing what we can miss out on when we stay stubborn and self-sufficient. I know this too well for myself. I love how you wrote to your GP. This is something, I feel, we could all do more of….expressing our inspirations and appreciations

  322. “For a long time, I have had a disdainful relationship with mainstream medicine, avidly exploring alternative modalities and building an arrogance in myself about mainstream medicine being ‘less’ and below me.” I too had this for twenty years whilst practising as a homeopath. When I came to learn about Universal Medicine therapies and seeing how open Serge Benhayon was to conventional medical models, I rearranged my choices and have accepted the qualities that both Western medicine and the Esoteric healing modalities can bring – the best of both worlds.

  323. I also can relate to this, working as a naturopath, I never wanted to take antibiotics.
    Until I had a chronic sinusitis and after a long period of stubbornness, I took cortisone and antibiotics at the same time.
    What I realized with this experience was that my dogmatic view was more harmful than taking antibiotics.
    Now, whatever comes up, I read and ponder, what this is reflecting to me and then search for support, that could be for example some herbs or conventional medicine.

  324. Men historically stay away from doctors and their pills, potions and advice until it doesn’t work, is ready to fall off or the pain is off the Richter Scale. Western Medicine is there to support us and ignoring things that can happen to us and not seeking help is just self-abuse.

  325. Many of us have shared views like you about western medicine and been reluctant to take the advice or drugs on offer, but we should never stubbornly close ourselves off to what is on offer otherwise the right course of action will be missed and we can go along for ages putting up with something that could have been healed in days.

    1. How many opportunities do we miss because of the overstretched medical services and the ever increasing waiting periods just from the oversubscribed needs of many ill people? And, we give up and just live with it?

  326. When I observe the arrogance in varying degrees in another when the Esoteric is suggested or introduced it reminds me of the sheer arrogance I also have felt in my relationship with conventional medicine in the past. The reflection is one of the same for both the esoteric and conventional medicine are very much needed to support and assist with our health and wellbeing today.

  328. Beautiful revelation Matilda, the very revelation that I had some years ago. In the past I often had to be carried to the doctors after stubbornly holding out for far too long thinking I could clear complaints with my strong determination in my own way.

  329. Life is never meant to be hard to access or alternative. We are never meant to live on the outskirts or periphery of society. Conventional Medicine is a huge part of life, as taking responsibility and care of our bodies is one of the most joyful choices. Accepting this again as our normal is monumental.

  330. A much needed article. Too many live with the ideals of modern medicine being bad. When if we were to gain the support of modern Medicine, along with a deep honouring of the body we live in, just possibly many more serious illnesses could be arrested, or even prevented.

    1. Yes, so true Leigh we each have a significant part to play in our healing of both the body and the being. One of greatest forms of medicine is in the way we choose to live on a day to day basis.

  331. Righteously struggling only leads to the withering of you. Being open, without preconceived ideas lets you receive what the true thing is to do. That’s great medicine.

  332. I must admit, I don’t like taking pain killers because I worry that if the pain is masked I might override my body and do further damage, so I am learning to take better care of my body.

  333. Yes, I recognise this, Matilda, and in my case the ‘Ooh no I don’t take medicine, not even an aspirin’ almost lost me my right leg. In 2002 I was diagnosed with arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) and advised to take aspirin to thin my blood. I refused and in 2004 had an arterial clot in my right leg (Ischemic). My leg went cold, there was no blood going into it. It was only when the emergency doctor said ‘Yes, I think your leg is still viable’ that I realised I could have lost it. From that moment on, I have taken Warfarin and have not had a clot since. I have also discussed any medications and side effects with my doctor, taken care to use natural means where I could but like you, taken antibiotics where essential.

  334. Why is it we think that becoming ill is a weakness or failure? Yes it is the body’s way of communicating something is not right though this can offer us a stop to re-evaluate our life and how we are living. It can also offer a true healing on many levels as you mention Matilda. Allowing support from others is very nourishing.

    1. Great point Victoria. I used to take great pride in not being ill or needing medications, yet our body signals to us all the time – and sometimes the consequences can be serious if we don’t take the action required – be it with conventional and / or complementary medicine.

  335. I used to carry the same ideas and beliefs that I had to tough it out and not allow support in, including medical support. This all changed for me when I attended a presentation by Serge Benhayon at a Universal Medicine event and he spoke about self care and how the medical system is a big part of taking care of ourselves. It was a very common sense presentation and helped me to see the beliefs I had that ‘natural is best’ and that you can’t trust doctors because of pharmaceutical companies and their corruption. I also did not want to take full responsibility for myself and found self care very challenging. Thanks to the Universal Medicine event I opened to seeing my doctor more regularly and have since had a number of procedures and an operation and received a tremendous amount of very necessary support for my health. I am now an enormous fan of Western Medicine which is a complete turnaround.

  336. Even though I have also had the tendency to go the natural route I can say that without a doubt the absolute support of Medicine and all it offers when needed is brilliant. The dedication and precision I have experienced from the doctors and medical staff I have met is something I appreciate every day.

    1. My experience has been the same Victoria, I feel that when we open ourselves to all that is on offer to truly care for and support ourselves, we are able to receive all that is there being lovingly offered.

      1. Yes in this way we open ourselves up to healing on every level. Loving responsibility for our equal part in the process. Team work at it’s best.

      2. Working hand in hand with all that is lovingly offered….I had not considered it in the context of teamwork but yes Victoria, I agree it is teamwork at its best.

  337. This is very timely for me as I have been also looking at my relationship with conventional medicine, or any kind of medicine actually. What I have come to realise so far is how I was hiding my reluctance to take responsibility when holding up saying no to conventional medicine as my ‘choice’, but whatever I would choose instead was nonetheless sought as a relief. And even though now I have become more open to taking conventional medicine and seeking their support, the same posture is still there. Medicine is not the answer, it is a tool and I have to learn to use it. Thank you for the inspiration, Matilda. There’s more for me to feel here.

  338. Our relationship with self care can be an ever deepening one where we can catch ourselves overriding our body’s communication or bring more attention and respond to what is being called for in each moment.

    1. Very true Jennym, and every time we catch ourselves overriding our body is a step towards making more self-loving and self-caring changes. There are things that I would not have thought twice doing to my body in the past yet now never do.

  340. Matilda I too can relate to the stubbornly held views on all conventional medicine, taking medication and having treatments and scans as well. In letting go of my own stubbornly held onto beliefs I realised I was missing out on building a trusting relationship with my GP, one in which I can really share what is going on with my body and allow myself to be cared for and feel supported by. I have learnt that stubbornness doesn’t pay and in fact it has only made my relationships in the world, including my GP lesser.

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