Mary Sanford, Somerset, UK
It is not unusual to find that many of those who suffer ill mental health have a troubled past with often abusive families or experiences that sets them up for a lifetime of mental turmoil. There are studies that affirm this.1-5 I was no exception. However, my state of obvious well-being today sits in contrast to where I have come from with a history of ill mental health traced back to a lifetime of unresolved deep hurts. I found a way to move beyond what might have been a crippling past to a life lived fully, untroubled by my past ill mental health.
As a child, I felt my childhood consisted of: I cannot, I must not, I should not or I would not get or have. I found this to be extremely negative and scornful and it had a crushing effect on how I saw life. I was either rebelling in my mind towards my father or trying to placate him; looking back neither worked – we just did not get on at all. I was seething inside at his ability to bully and manipulate the family. He would brook no opposition, his word was final and what I detested the most was the inequality within our family. As children we had to do as we were told irrespective of the fact that my father was a bully and disrespectful to his children; he could be this way towards us, but we had to respect and obey him. I wasn’t able to do this and it showed and was the bone of contention between us. I was constantly told I was a very insolent child and would be punished for being so. I felt the injustice of this singling out within the family. Continue reading “A personal experience of healing ill mental health.”