Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

By Gill Randall, Physiotherapist, Grad Dip Phys, Banbury, UK

I was diagnosed with osteopenia a few years ago and simultaneously I started attending presentations and healing courses presented by Serge Benhayon. With this I understood that the deeper meaning of osteoporosis is that I have disregarded my body for a long time, and so I started looking after myself much more. I altered my diet, learnt to care more for myself, and in that my life changed considerably. There is more detail of these changes in Part 1. 

A couple of months ago, I decided to ask the GP if I could have another bone density test. This was prompted by a friend who started a support group for similar aged students of The Way of The Livingness, who have diagnoses of osteopenia and osteoporosis.

I thought it had been 2 or 3 years since my previous test; it turned out 7 whole years had flown by. That was a bit of a surprise that I had chosen to leave it so long before contacting the doctor, but I reassured myself I was looking after myself much more now. The results from my test returned and they showed that my bone density has progressed in a downhill spiral from osteopenia to moderate osteoporosis. I was absolutely devastated. All this time I thought I had been making more self-loving changes, but my spine has continued to crumble. A friend suggested to me another way of viewing this; what if in this lifetime, I am allowing myself a clearing of many lifetimes of disregard, and how healing this is, now, for the future and for many more lifetimes to come. Now I am changing how I see my illness, I’m starting to understand the bigger picture.

So my journey continues…

Over the next few weeks I started to connect to my spine, to feel how the middle of my back ached, especially when I was tired. Another friend in our group organised a specific exercise group for people with a common theme of osteoporosis to attend online ‘Osteo Strength and Awareness Program’ with an Esoteric Exercise practitioner from It’s Time to Shine.

With the support of these exercise classes, I started to feel how I could support myself deeper by connecting to my spine and exercising on a regular daily program with gentle strengthening and stretching exercises. It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself. But I have been feeling recently how my scapulae can support my spine and how lightly I can rise up from a sitting position without any strain on my spine and how my leg strength is improving. I am continuing with these exercises and am deeply grateful for their support.

The exercise sessions constantly bring me back to a deeper knowing of the delicacy, strength and a true quality within my movements, as a way to live in my daily activity. Our honest and deep sharing together as a group allows our expression and care to deepen with every class and discussion we have.

I have also contacted two lovely Esoteric naturopaths and have meetings planned for my way forward regarding supplements I need to take. Again I can feel a change in myself as I let go of old beliefs that if I have a good diet, I don’t need any supplements. It was explained to me lovingly that it depends mainly on what the body absorbs, and so I am having blood and hormone tests to determine what is needed; so further my journey continues.

Then, a greater, deeper revelation was given to me recently.

I had booked an appointment with an Esoteric Practitioner, and shared with her all about this process. As the session progressed, she showed me how dismissive I can be, that when she shared something of truth, or credited me with something, I can go “yeah, whatever”, and play small. I have this pattern of making things into a joke with my response. For example, I was talking about something that happened, and she replied how powerful I was becoming. My response was “Really? Maybe, one day”.

She shared how she could feel that I was on automatic pilot, and every time I speak like that I bash myself with a club. And then it hit me – I had a sudden realisation: 

Is it possible that there could be a link between this way of my expression and my osteoporosis?  

I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.

I could feel the physical pain as she spoke, and realised this is exactly what I do. I beat myself up, bashing myself on the back every time I speak like this. I had learned to express this way from a very young age and it is not supporting me. I went into my head and doubted; do I know how to express from truth? Sadness welled up inside me for a moment, and then the truth came through. Of course I can express – simply express from Love. This is the progression of my journey to reverse the osteoporosis in my body. The outcome will be what it will be, but meanwhile:

My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression.

With ever grateful thanks to the support of my loving friends, Esoteric Practitioners and Serge Benhayon for his deep Love and support for us all.

Read more:

  1. Learning the meaning of osteoporosis
  2. Osteoporosis – how could this happen to me? 

414 thoughts on “Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

  1. Gill its great to be open to always going deeper and not with blame or judgement but with a knowing that we are always shown things to allow us to deepen the level of love we hold for and with ourselves.

  2. What a blessing that we have been supported to see illness and disease for what it truly is – energy.

  3. Simply beautiful Gill – and what you have shared makes such sense. Since I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis I have begun to understand my body in more detail and with greater depth and what you have shared has allowed me that I still have a long way to go and yet already appreciate how far I have come. I can relate to what you shared about ‘bashing yourself up’ and how this was not supporting you to build a foundation for your body – and even more adding to your bone deterioration. Certainly something for me to ponder on as I allow my wondrous body to unfold to me all it’s wisdom.

  4. I would really like to know if there is a large scale study of women who are 50+, their bone density reading, i.e. their osteoporosis status and their subsequent history of issues that are related to osteoporosis like more and more severe fractures.

    1. I think long term large scale studies often have difficulty with funding but that would be so informative for future generations Christoph. I had previously thought my mum had osteoporosis because of milk rationing in the war when she was a teenager, but I now know the intake of calcium in youth as was taught was the problem is a completely false. I now have a good diet and a healthy lifestyle but the osteoporosis is still continuing so there has to be a deeper reason for it. When we know it is how we are with ourselves, at least we can choose to do something about it.

      1. I drank milk and ate cheese all my life and have osteoporosis so I for one can say yes, it is definitely a myth that milk is good for your bones.

  5. There is a fascinating case study between what happens when you decide to learn from your illness, rather than to fight it and make sure you get back to how you were living before (which is what would have caused the illness in the first place).

    1. Yes Simon, just doing some psychological profiling on a mass of people matched to certain main known health conditions would in itself be interesting to see what appears. Such as, do the patients in a liver specialist unit have anger or internalised anger issues and disharmony? Do lung patients have damp grief issues? Anecdotally these things might be clear to those who work with them, but it would be interesting to document on a large scale how the group differ, or not.

  6. There is a key practical point here that is accessible to anyone Gill – that it is not just about whether we have a good diet and a healthy lifestyle with weight bearing exercise, but whether or not we can absorb and use those nutrients, and it appears that is where the other factors like how loving we are with ourselves may come into play, and this may relate to many other health issues too like iron and anaemia or whether we get gout, and so on compared to the next person. So it brings us back to the detail of how we are with ourselves 24/7.

    1. This feels like we have hit the jackpot with the true deeper cause of osteoporosis Shirley-Ann, we can do all we can on the outside, but we need to work on how we are with ourselves on the inside too.

      1. True Shirley-Ann the love factor in all of this is the binding factor, how we care for ourselves and love our bodies makes all the differences of the world and is the only way to heal the abusive patterns we have gone into.

    2. And what is amazing about Esoteric medicine is that it brings in the details of the energy we use everyday and how it leads to the details that make up our own personal health.

  7. Wow Gill, what an amazing daily moment to moment adventure you have before you. Full of purpose – How much focus can you expandingly bring, and maintain, to bring as much love to heal your body and being. I commend the medical system in what it provides and the amazing Esoteric Medicine Modalities that complete the healing process.

  8. Taking responsibility for healing leads to a fascinating and endlessly enriching relationship with yourself and life, allowing the depth of wisdom we have within to unveil itself.

    1. It is so true, Jenny, the only person we can heal is ourselves. When we take on this responsibility, our relationship with our own bodies simply deepens and deepens.

      1. Yes exactly Gill, letting go the idea that someone else heals us is very empowering, particularly when we realise that it’s the myriad of daily choices we make moment to moment that provide the ‘medicine’ we seek. Knowing exactly what ‘medicine’ we require can be very much supported by a practitioner, as can the connection and relationship we develop with our bodies and it’s constant communication back to us about those choices.

  9. This article has been really confirming and increased my attention to this level of awareness about how we are with ourselves and our Divine bodies. It is for us to bring that level of love to the physical body so that the true Divine that we are can come through, by virtue of being of the same resonance or alignment.

  10. I see the power in exercising is to change the expression in one’s body and as such it has an impact on our verbal expression.

    1. Since this experience feeling how I can chip away at my spine by playing small, the awareness of the pattern has been exposed and highlighted. We can always feel the tension in our bodies when we hold back our expression.

    2. True and to really honour what the body communicates to us during exercising is key as I always thought I was doing so, but actually I learn with the program of ‘It’s Time to Shine’ I was not caring for my body, there was still this push to do a little bit more or faster etc. It has touched me deeply to feel the level of care and love this exercise group offers.

  11. I have loved rereading this once again and feeling how powerful and wise and multidimensional our bodies are naturally so. It shows and exemplifies the fact that to truly understand illness and disease we must look at the wider aspects at play including our past lives and our relationship with our soul, energetic responsibility and with our true purpose here on earth.

  12. ‘A new learning from an old illness’ is a wise statement as you show how there is actually an on-going opportunity to keep having deeper insights, awareness and understanding about any illness or dis-ease a person may have, and it is not a case of just living with a condition and accepting it as ‘my lot in life’ (so to speak) – We never cease to evolve … there is always more to learn, in sickness and in health.

    1. So beautifully said Johanne, illness and disease is a learning in itself and simply an opportunity for more growth and a deepening of our relationship with the body.

    2. An illness is a stop and an opportunity to evaluate the way we live and how we treat ourselves and our wise body and like you say to deepen the relationship we have with our body and there is no end or goal to reach.

  13. “Is it possible that there could be a link between this way of my expression and my osteoporosis?” The subtle ways in which we are affected by how we speak, what we say, how we move etc etc and the impact of all of the above cannot be underestimated. If we all began to take responsibility for how we live, and conventional medicine were to take all of this into account, the change in society’s general state of health for the better could be enormous as it would prevent so many illnesses before they reached a critical stage.

    1. Wouldn’t it be great if there were wellbeing clinics set up all over the country by people who were very well Sandra? They would inspire people to stay healthy, look after themselves and encourage more self care as normal behaviour.

      1. Indeed Gill, this would be a very different approach and be deeply inspiring, as when someone is living in a way that truly supports them the vitality, confidence and joy that is present can be seen and felt, and simply cannot be denied.

  14. We are everything that we express. Once we fully get how powerful our expression is, we realise that we are the masters of our own life.

  15. Some illnesses and diseases can take a while to stop and reverse, and osteoporosis can be one of these. I like to compare such conditions to using an oil heater vs an electric heater to warm up a room. When we turn on an electric heater it heats up the room in a few minutes and then when we turn it off, it cools down within a few minutes. On the other hand when you use an oil heater to heat up a room it can take while for the room to feel warm, then it feels very warm and then the heat stays in the room for much much longer even once the heater has been fully switched off.
    Some illnesses and diseases act similarly – some can be more easily and more faster ‘healed’ and one feels better and the body returns to full health faster, and often when the body is younger this happens much quicker too. But other conditions require more effort and more time, and even more so the older we get. Bones can be quicker to respond when we are younger, however, as we age, this does require more time. Once we have osteopenia and then osteoporosis, this may well be more slow to put into reversal. In addition, we have our momentums which need to first be stopped and then ‘reversed’ too – and this in itself may require more time as well.
    It can be very frustrating to not see results straight away, but it does not mean that what we are doing is not working or that we have done something wrong! It is always worth deepening the care and love for ourselves, for not only do we get the benefits of it along the way, but so does everyone else around us too!

    1. This deepens the understanding of illness and disease Henrietta, we often want a quick fix to a problem. When something has taken years to develop, the body takes its time to respond too.

  16. It is incredible how the way you speak and think about yourself actually affects your body. And why would it not? We are made of energy. In the world of energy everything impacts everything. When we choose a certain type of energy to fuel our thoughts, that same energy will be running through our whole body and magnifying. The type of energy we choose in every single moment affects our body, the pool of energy we in effect are swimming in and every aspect of our lives.

  17. On reading this today, I have experienced a new level of understanding about expression. Like you I thought I was taking care of myself but understand there are always deeper levels we can go to. I have other complications as well, with irregular heartbeat, a vaginal prolapse, arthritis and osteoporosis. Rather ironic really, since all my life I’ve been afraid of cancer as it hit so many members of my immediate family, but so far that’s one thing I don’t have.

  18. ‘It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself.’ This line struck a chord with me Gill as you expose something rather big here: we know what it is we need to support ourselves, to become more aware and present, to increase our quality… our body knows it it to the detail and communicates this with us, so if we do not adhere to this it is revealing a resistance to all that we can be.

  19. We can so easily self bash without realising how enormous the impact this has on our bodies. It becomes an automated way of being with ourselves that seemingly only takes place in our head yet the first blow has an impact on the body which then has an impact on the quality of our thoughts sending us spiralling down into the abyss of self loathing and lack of self worth.

    1. Exactly Carolien, I would never previously have connected the two things, mental self bashing and the physical weakening of the bones. But all the self doubts, lack of self care, self loathing, are obviously going tp compound the problem when we know the ‘everything is energy and everything is because of energy’ as Serge Benhayon teaches.

  20. Great what you share about the quality of the exercise sessions and how they feel in the body I am building a relationship with exercise that feels like I am more connected and delicate with myself, I am building a more respectful relationship with my body. This is very different from the relationship I used to have, I used to see it as hard work and a chore.

  21. If we could see the physical wounds and bruises we energetically bash ourselves with we would be totally shocked. The way we express can either heal or harm us and so does the quality of our thoughts.

    1. Chan Ly, knowing something is either healing or harming simplifies things so much. Observation of our thoughts, our movements, our words, our actions, or our deeds tells us which category they are in. This brings a focus to our every moment.

  22. We really do have time on our side to heal and yet there is an urgency in treating our body with the honour it deserves.

  23. What I love about this blog is that it shows there is no one medicine approach to healing an illness or disease but that it is an ongoing deepening process and that it applies to all areas of life. Just being more self-loving wont heal the disease, we need to address all aspects of life and how we have been living often accompanied by medicines and supplements.

    1. Life has always been a holistic product of how we have lived, living our lives. There are many times in life when we can regret that we left the barn door open and the horse has bolted. Unless we can reflect back on the choices that lead to the outcomes, there can be no healing even if the horse does return.

  24. It is incredible how those negative self doubt or lack of worth thoughts actually have an energetic dis-ease in our body. Time to start talking self love to restore energetic harmony within the body.

    1. It is such a deep habit to break too Johanna, those thoughts so insidiously try to return whenever there is a gap left. But our awareness of the pattern and how they hinder our recovery stops us returning to those doubts and bring us back to caring and loving ways again.

  25. One day the wisdom that is being shared here will be taught in primary schools… how vital it is for us to listen to our bodies… and imagine a world where everyone was this tuned in to their expression and its importance in our lives

  26. I am part of an exercise program for people with osteoporosis at the moment; such a joy to be together and bring lightness into our bodies, appreciating the wisdom our bodies are showing us. It is exercising in a way I have never experienced before. Honouring my delicate nature and the quality of my movements.

  27. It is lovely and refreshing to read of the obvious support and care from others, in your example of the group and the choice to make steps toward responsible self-care. Inspiring to read.

  28. Gill your experience really shows how our every expression, movement has a harming or healing effect on our body, every thought and word said. What a great awareness to come to that the way you were thinking and talking about yourself could be contributing to your Osteoporosis. How incredibly powerful this is.

  29. Our expression has always been and will always be powerful. How many on this planet had our expression squashed when we were young? It is like the faithful dog that will wait forever for us to return and allow us out to run and truly express who we are.

  30. Your raise an important issue here Gill, that we may have been carrying our ill choices for a very long time, perhaps dealing with certain symptoms here and there. But like an onion there can be many layers and areas of life we need to address in order to truly heal.

  31. Expectations and pictures we have invested in the outcomes of anything are an illusion. Knowing the part of the big picture we play and accepting the way things happen is a whole new ballgame.

  32. Expression is a movement, an action and a thought.. amazing to feel that how we think about ourselves, and are with ourselves, actually affects the physical body. Everything is so interconnected, and all our choices have consequences, not in a scary way where we need to be fearful of making mistakes,but there is such empowerment in knowing we are responsible for our own choices and the state of our health.

  33. The patterns of abuse of our bodies is often only recognised when they are in the extreme zone. The minor ones are overridden yet over time these become the building blocks of disregard that leads to illness and disease.

  34. I agree Natalliya, all the time we are not living from the absolute amazingness we are, we are living in a way that the disregard is building in the body and we are miles away from how we could be living in true health and vitality. Our bodies tell us this with any illness.

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