Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

By Gill Randall, Physiotherapist, Grad Dip Phys, Banbury, UK

I was diagnosed with osteopenia a few years ago and simultaneously I started attending presentations and healing courses presented by Serge Benhayon. With this I understood that the deeper meaning of osteoporosis is that I have disregarded my body for a long time, and so I started looking after myself much more. I altered my diet, learnt to care more for myself, and in that my life changed considerably. There is more detail of these changes in Part 1. 

A couple of months ago, I decided to ask the GP if I could have another bone density test. This was prompted by a friend who started a support group for similar aged students of The Way of The Livingness, who have diagnoses of osteopenia and osteoporosis.

I thought it had been 2 or 3 years since my previous test; it turned out 7 whole years had flown by. That was a bit of a surprise that I had chosen to leave it so long before contacting the doctor, but I reassured myself I was looking after myself much more now. The results from my test returned and they showed that my bone density has progressed in a downhill spiral from osteopenia to moderate osteoporosis. I was absolutely devastated. All this time I thought I had been making more self-loving changes, but my spine has continued to crumble. A friend suggested to me another way of viewing this; what if in this lifetime, I am allowing myself a clearing of many lifetimes of disregard, and how healing this is, now, for the future and for many more lifetimes to come. Now I am changing how I see my illness, I’m starting to understand the bigger picture.

So my journey continues…

Over the next few weeks I started to connect to my spine, to feel how the middle of my back ached, especially when I was tired. Another friend in our group organised a specific exercise group for people with a common theme of osteoporosis to attend online ‘Osteo Strength and Awareness Program’ with an Esoteric Exercise practitioner from It’s Time to Shine.

With the support of these exercise classes, I started to feel how I could support myself deeper by connecting to my spine and exercising on a regular daily program with gentle strengthening and stretching exercises. It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself. But I have been feeling recently how my scapulae can support my spine and how lightly I can rise up from a sitting position without any strain on my spine and how my leg strength is improving. I am continuing with these exercises and am deeply grateful for their support.

The exercise sessions constantly bring me back to a deeper knowing of the delicacy, strength and a true quality within my movements, as a way to live in my daily activity. Our honest and deep sharing together as a group allows our expression and care to deepen with every class and discussion we have.

I have also contacted two lovely Esoteric naturopaths and have meetings planned for my way forward regarding supplements I need to take. Again I can feel a change in myself as I let go of old beliefs that if I have a good diet, I don’t need any supplements. It was explained to me lovingly that it depends mainly on what the body absorbs, and so I am having blood and hormone tests to determine what is needed; so further my journey continues.

Then, a greater, deeper revelation was given to me recently.

I had booked an appointment with an Esoteric Practitioner, and shared with her all about this process. As the session progressed, she showed me how dismissive I can be, that when she shared something of truth, or credited me with something, I can go “yeah, whatever”, and play small. I have this pattern of making things into a joke with my response. For example, I was talking about something that happened, and she replied how powerful I was becoming. My response was “Really? Maybe, one day”.

She shared how she could feel that I was on automatic pilot, and every time I speak like that I bash myself with a club. And then it hit me – I had a sudden realisation: 

Is it possible that there could be a link between this way of my expression and my osteoporosis?  

I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.

I could feel the physical pain as she spoke, and realised this is exactly what I do. I beat myself up, bashing myself on the back every time I speak like this. I had learned to express this way from a very young age and it is not supporting me. I went into my head and doubted; do I know how to express from truth? Sadness welled up inside me for a moment, and then the truth came through. Of course I can express – simply express from Love. This is the progression of my journey to reverse the osteoporosis in my body. The outcome will be what it will be, but meanwhile:

My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression.

With ever grateful thanks to the support of my loving friends, Esoteric Practitioners and Serge Benhayon for his deep Love and support for us all.

Read more:

  1. Learning the meaning of osteoporosis
  2. Osteoporosis – how could this happen to me? 

484 thoughts on “Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

  1. How extraordinary to draw a link, actually to feel a link between our expression and what is in our body… On one level so obvious, for many so elusive, and once felt, so profound.

  2. Awesome to read and understand the enormity of what you are sharing Gill. How powerful are we when we are prepared to be honest and get support so we can truly feel and understand what we choose has an impact on our bodies and our beings.

  3. This is amazing – who would have thought that the bone density was related to the way we expressed ourselves? And it totally makes sense that it is movement, and our body is part of our every movement.

  4. Thank you Gill for the gentle reminder to continue with the exercises and not choose disregard of how I care for my body.

  5. We are the master of our own life and body. The moment we let ideals and beliefs run our life, we disempower ourselves, instead of following our impulse in authority. Supplements might be true and right for you now, but maybe in a couple of weeks not anymore. Whatever it is, we ought to listen to our own voice of heart.

  6. Your shared experience shows that there is always a deeper layer to look at. The less you react to whatever is showing itself – a decline of the disease in your case – the more you will be open to receive the deeper wisdom that lies underneath that message.

  7. ‘It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself.’ I have experienced the same in the sense that yes I have periods with a consistent flow in doing some exercises everyday and then doing them not at all but with a voice in my head who is pointing out, in a not so loving way, that I fail in commitment. Not truly supportive to get back to caring and loving myself and my body. With the honesty that I am the one that is sabotaging but can start any moment, I am back on track and my body loves it, of course.

  8. Inspiring to feel Gill how you didn’t stop with the obvious lifestyle choices in understanding osteoporosis, but took it deeper, to the extent that you understood that a lifetime of dismissing yourself, of playing small and being contracted, had actually impacted your physical skeletal structure. While this might seem a bit ‘out there’ to some, and not scientifically proven, to me it makes total sense: expression is a movement, and how we move, repeatedly so, moment to moment and all through our lives, has an effect on the body that will be eventually reflected back to us in one form or another.

  9. A great reminder for me this morning of how supportive supplements can be, and that we cannot get everything the body needs from food alone, and how loving it is to be supporting ourselves in this way.

  10. I feel that when we place any kind of illness and disease in to the wider context of reincarnation, there is an opportunity to see and to feel just how deeply loved we are.

  11. We live with these patterns of abuse for so long that we don’t even notice or see our behaviour as abusive to ourselves or to others. It makes sense though if we are putting ourselves down when we express then there will be a physical knock-on effect of this sooner or later.

  12. When we have lived with adopted behaviours for so long we do not realise the impact they are truly having on the body until we are honest and nominate how we are feeling and understand how behaviours reconfigure us to move in a lesser way of being than who we truly are. Learning to be love in all our movements and expression takes a loving commitment, the more consistent we are the more we are able to deepen and surrender to embrace the love we are within.

  13. ‘My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression’ Such a solid and powerful truth. Thank you.

  14. Expression that is actually connected to the heart and our whole body, brings the expression of whole-body intelligence, and this brings clarity and reconnection that is the foundation for our lives.

  15. What becomes apparent is that we play small and we don’t even realise we are doing it! It has become so normal to speak and treat ourselves in this way that the behaviours are carried out instantaneously with very little if any awareness of the disregard that has been played out. Of course there is an investment whatever that may be for each individual and we have to look and address this investment or reason why we behave in the way we do that disregards and abuses the body.

  16. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly Gill. I have certainly noticed a change in the way that you express and communicate and it is a joy to feel the grace that I have always felt and now a much more embodied strength and sweet tenderness that you are bringing to each encounter be it in a group meeting or a more personal chat.

  17. There is a truth spoken here that brings our way of being with ourselves under the microscope and truly shows just how much we contribute to the reality of how healthy, or not our body is.

  18. I am learning how harming dismissiveness is and how disregarding it is not only to me, but to the person I am with. Being dismissive stops the flow of communication and shuts people out, and stops us going to a deeper level of connection with ourselves and everyone else. I have also noticed how arrogant it is because I am choosing not to feel what is really being offered at that moment of dismissal.

  19. This should be a quote somewhere ‘Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us’… in fact I have just posted this on my facebook page! What you have shared here reminds me of the experiment that was done with water by Dr Masaru. A great blog on the importance of expression with both ourselves and how we are with others.

  20. When we do start to join the dots, we start to understand that everything is vital, so important , and of course, expression is such a foundation for everything.

  21. Thank you, Gill – your sharing has given me a stop moment to be very honest about the way I hold myself, and I can feel the depth of dismissiveness and the lack of appreciation I have been allowing. And I love that the answer is simply in coming back to love.

  22. As I was reading this blog again, Gill, I was feeling inspired by your strong commitment to physically take care of your body, but when you mention your tendency to play small with self-bashing and to link this way of expression with the physical condition of your body it did remind me of the importance of our expression and how, in fact, our expression is such a crucial element of our well being. So many of us understand the importance of physical exercise and the need to nourish our bodies with a healthy diet and to take supplements when we need them, but very few of us are aware of what we are doing to ourselves and others when we do not make the choice to express from empowerment and love. This is something we definitely need to share as a fundamental principle of health and well being, let alone a cornerstone of harmonious living.

  23. It really is extraordinary how directly our expression impacts upon us… And of course not just on us, but on everyone around us… And how wonderful it is to finally understand this to start to heal both without and within.

  24. What a beautiful example of bringing ourselves fully to a situation and exploring all options and our quality of expression in life.

  25. ‘I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.’ I loved reading this part because it made me realise how everything we do is a movement and how we are affected depends on if the movement is loving or not, which equally affects others too.

  26. “My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression.” What a beautiful, simple statement of absolute truth Gill. When we know this for ourselves, we really have no excuse to not express what we know to be true.

  27. This is lovely Gill thank you for sharing and explaining how you self inflict on yourself and this bring to you a message from the body that this is not the way.

  28. Disregarding ourselves has a huge impact on our body. Today I was cleaning up my office and I could feel the effect on my body from allowing disorder to occur.

  29. We can disregard and not honour ourselves in so many ways, so being dismissive could play a part in this as well. Our thoughts, expressions and attitudes can alter so profoundly when we start to honour the inner beauty and preciousness that we are.

  30. “I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.” This is such a powerful insight into the importance of expressing ourselves in truth. Every thought or word spoken that is not from truth is actually having a hugely harming impact on our bodied. It is our responsibility to change this.

  31. “Of course I can express – simply express from Love. This is the progression of my journey to reverse the osteoporosis in my body. The outcome will be what it will be, ” Beautifully expressed Gill. Bringing love to ourselves and thus everyone – no expectations. That way miracles happen.

  32. “…. exposing my resistance to helping myself….” I find it endlessly fascinating how we – although we may know what to do, how to eat etc, – we bow to our spirit and ignore what we know to be true. Yet or body unfailingly continually gives us messages and nudges us – so that one day we may honour what we know to be true.

  33. The body is amazingly resilient in its dealing with the daily onslaught of our choices. In a way this is a pity, as the direct relationship between our illness and disease and the choices we make can be less visible in this way. Unless we read energy and from this the energy that lies at the root cause can be dis-covered and the relationship is plain to see.

  34. The capacity of the Esoteric work to relate a condition to its root cause not only gives a great understanding of what is going on, but also it gives us a clear picture of what is that we are asked to do. That, medicine cannot do.

  35. The attitude we have to ourselves is influencing the bone level. Inflamation can appear when we long term harden or are angry on a deeper level.
    I notice a big difference how my joints feel when I make my movement hard.
    This way my soul invites me to be much more gentle and precious.
    A gift from God.
    If I didn’t get such messages from my soul I, as a spirit, will just continue with that kind of ill patterns.

    1. This is so true Sylvia, I can feel the difference when I used to drive hard through the day, my thumb and finger joints would hurt with all the force I used. My thumb joints have now changed and become a little arthritic because I did it for so long, but now I have stopped and am gentler with my hands, they do not hurt anymore. Our attitude definitely influences our bones.

  36. It just goes to show Gyl that the regard, love and care we have for ourselves and our body is not just skin deep, it is cell deep and beyond. This is a great blog reminding us of this fact.

  37. You can really feel how without this deep understanding and holistic energetic perspective that Esoteric Medicine provides conventional medicine remains just blind and a mere band aide for the unhealed issue.

  38. Thank you Gill, this is exactly how we learn, by being open to what comes up for us. Whether it is cancer or a wart everything is a message for us to listen to and when we do listen the true healing begins.

  39. While reading about the exercise sessions you talk about and I have experienced myself, I could feel that by not doing the exercises consistently I hurt my body. ‘The exercise sessions constantly bring me back to a deeper knowing of the delicacy, strength and a true quality within my movements, as a way to live in my daily activity. ‘ I deprive myself of healing on a deeper level.

  40. If only the world realized how crucial it is to open up to our full expression, to feel the power of our own words, and to allow out words to come from the intelligence of our whole body.

  41. It is incredible how while these patterns of subtle self abusive behaviour may seem in small and innocent they are massive and in fact impact on us all because how we are with ourselves is what we bring to others. These behaviours are for sure not innocent or small in any way on their impact on our quality of life.

  42. I just love esoteric medicine. It turns everything we thought we knew about illness and disease on its head and as you say enables us to see the bigger picture and grasp what the illness is about and why we contracted it.

    1. With Esoteric medicine there is no victimising there is only the truth of how we have chosen to live and without being critical or hard on ourselves we can move on and start to take care and love ourselves, making different choices that are not only supportive for ourselves but serve the all.

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