Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

By Gill Randall, Physiotherapist, Grad Dip Phys, Banbury, UK

I was diagnosed with osteopenia a few years ago and simultaneously I started attending presentations and healing courses presented by Serge Benhayon. With this I understood that the deeper meaning of osteoporosis is that I have disregarded my body for a long time, and so I started looking after myself much more. I altered my diet, learnt to care more for myself, and in that my life changed considerably. There is more detail of these changes in Part 1. 

A couple of months ago, I decided to ask the GP if I could have another bone density test. This was prompted by a friend who started a support group for similar aged students of The Way of The Livingness, who have diagnoses of osteopenia and osteoporosis.

I thought it had been 2 or 3 years since my previous test; it turned out 7 whole years had flown by. That was a bit of a surprise that I had chosen to leave it so long before contacting the doctor, but I reassured myself I was looking after myself much more now. The results from my test returned and they showed that my bone density has progressed in a downhill spiral from osteopenia to moderate osteoporosis. I was absolutely devastated. All this time I thought I had been making more self-loving changes, but my spine has continued to crumble. A friend suggested to me another way of viewing this; what if in this lifetime, I am allowing myself a clearing of many lifetimes of disregard, and how healing this is, now, for the future and for many more lifetimes to come. Now I am changing how I see my illness, I’m starting to understand the bigger picture.

So my journey continues…

Over the next few weeks I started to connect to my spine, to feel how the middle of my back ached, especially when I was tired. Another friend in our group organised a specific exercise group for people with a common theme of osteoporosis to attend online ‘Osteo Strength and Awareness Program’ with an Esoteric Exercise practitioner from It’s Time to Shine.

With the support of these exercise classes, I started to feel how I could support myself deeper by connecting to my spine and exercising on a regular daily program with gentle strengthening and stretching exercises. It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself. But I have been feeling recently how my scapulae can support my spine and how lightly I can rise up from a sitting position without any strain on my spine and how my leg strength is improving. I am continuing with these exercises and am deeply grateful for their support.

The exercise sessions constantly bring me back to a deeper knowing of the delicacy, strength and a true quality within my movements, as a way to live in my daily activity. Our honest and deep sharing together as a group allows our expression and care to deepen with every class and discussion we have.

I have also contacted two lovely Esoteric naturopaths and have meetings planned for my way forward regarding supplements I need to take. Again I can feel a change in myself as I let go of old beliefs that if I have a good diet, I don’t need any supplements. It was explained to me lovingly that it depends mainly on what the body absorbs, and so I am having blood and hormone tests to determine what is needed; so further my journey continues.

Then, a greater, deeper revelation was given to me recently.

I had booked an appointment with an Esoteric Practitioner, and shared with her all about this process. As the session progressed, she showed me how dismissive I can be, that when she shared something of truth, or credited me with something, I can go “yeah, whatever”, and play small. I have this pattern of making things into a joke with my response. For example, I was talking about something that happened, and she replied how powerful I was becoming. My response was “Really? Maybe, one day”.

She shared how she could feel that I was on automatic pilot, and every time I speak like that I bash myself with a club. And then it hit me – I had a sudden realisation: 

Is it possible that there could be a link between this way of my expression and my osteoporosis?  

I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.

I could feel the physical pain as she spoke, and realised this is exactly what I do. I beat myself up, bashing myself on the back every time I speak like this. I had learned to express this way from a very young age and it is not supporting me. I went into my head and doubted; do I know how to express from truth? Sadness welled up inside me for a moment, and then the truth came through. Of course I can express – simply express from Love. This is the progression of my journey to reverse the osteoporosis in my body. The outcome will be what it will be, but meanwhile:

My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression.

With ever grateful thanks to the support of my loving friends, Esoteric Practitioners and Serge Benhayon for his deep Love and support for us all.

Read more:

  1. Learning the meaning of osteoporosis
  2. Osteoporosis – how could this happen to me? 

501 thoughts on “Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

  1. I love your honesty here. What I found refreshing was your friends point of view in that ‘A friend suggested to me another way of viewing this; what if in this lifetime, I am allowing myself a clearing of many lifetimes of disregard, and how healing this is, now, for the future and for many more lifetimes to come.’ I get it that most of the time we are hopeful or want to have something cleared but it is sobering, humbling and healing to understand the far bigger picture with regards to this.

  2. “My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression” – this is so profound. We don’t realise how harsh the way we talk to ourselves can be at times, and how constant that is, and we may want to deny that, but it is all revealed in the way we are, and the body cannot lie about that.

  3. Without recognising and acknowledging the abuse I have done to my body in this lifetime and throughout many lifetimes then I do not give myself the opportunity to heal. It is therefore paramount I appreciate every movement or step I make towards myself and my growth treating myself with the absolute love I deserve even though what is on paper may tell me different. It is about making and developing the relationship with self the utmost importance.

  4. What you have shared here is huge Gill. What comes across is that the closer we look at something, the more willing we are to see and your willingness to dig deeper has given you the answer to a health issue that many of us suffer as we age.

  5. Thank you Gill, your story reminded me of the wealth of resources we have to call on around us for support, such as people in medical, naturopathic and exercise fields, as well as complementary to medicine practitioners and our friends. There are so many people who have trained to support us no matter what health condition we have, or in wanting to just maintain good health. I could relate to this line “It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself.” I do this myself, I like how you worded it as exposing resistance to helping ourselves, its very true, yet confounding at the same time! Thank you Gill, a very inspiring read, I hope you will follow up with a part three in this series.

  6. I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis and I can recognise many of the traits that were detrimental to your wellbeing, Gill. I no longer speak to myself in such a self-deprecating way and looking back it does feel horrible and totally unnecessary, so it will be interesting to see if things have changed when I have my next reading.

    1. Hi Alison, most of us wouldn’t think of the way we talk to ourselves as disregarding as we may tend to look at the physical side of life only, it’s been great to consider this area as disregard and let go of pictures around the topic.

      1. Yes I would never have considered the negative way I talked to my self as part of the cause of my Osteoporosis but I can feel how it makes me feel small and almost crushes me so it makes sense that long term disregard will affect the bones.

  7. This is such a supportive blog. It offers building blocks for how to have a relationship with illness that is unfamiliar. It calls us not to see illness as a bad thing but a deepening of a conversation our body has been having with us for quite a while and a fresh way of listening.

  8. Wow Gill this is fantastic that you got to this deeper level of understanding and feeling it in your body as to what the body was showing. Just goes to show there is no one formula we follow to understand our issues, how we need to truly connect to our personal relationship with our bodies and the way we have been living that presents the truth of what we have been living.

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