by Gyl Rae, teacher, Scotland.
Recently I had a session with a very wise Esoteric Practitioner around my need to have children. What came up in our discussion was the question: had I ever been in a relationship where we seriously talked about having kids? I hadn’t, but I had had two abortions when I was younger, that if I am honest, I carried guilt around for years, and didn’t want people to know about in case of what they thought about me.
These thoughts can come from pictures, beliefs and ideals we are fed that having an abortion is the ending of life, from the imposition of the world’s ideals and beliefs and the Church – all of which can come through both women and men, where we are told a woman does not have rights over what she can do with her own body and the choices she makes.
Just recently, 4th of February 2017 – under a new law passed in the state of Arkansas, in the USA1, “A pregnant woman’s husband will have the power to stop her from having an abortion, even in cases of spousal rape”. How far lost are we that we can pass a law that allows a man to rape a woman and stop her from aborting the child? In this one law we are saying rape, abuse, and controlling a woman and her body are okay.
This is very similar to the control of a woman’s body and the lessening of women that we have seen throughout the ages in many institutionalised religions across the world, whereby, for example, women are deemed to be dirty when they have their periods, or that they are the lesser sex. Some may say, but ‘it’s her husband, of course he has a right’, but rape is rape no matter who commits the crime. Not to mention the fact that it is the woman’s body, therefore her choice.
Would we be allowed to pass a law giving women the right to stop their partners or boyfriend having a vasectomy? I think not. We would never be allowed to control or tell a man what to do with his reproductive organs – so why are women being denied the same right to choose?
Abortion laws and debates have been going on for a long time, we all know the cases we read about across the world every day, from abortion being illegal in Northern Ireland, even in cases of rape, or incest, the only time it is legally allowed is if the woman’s life is at risk – in fact in Ireland, both North and South, abortion is criminalised in most circumstances2 – to the new USA legislation that the recent President of America has passed stopping funding from foreign aid or non government organisations from supporting women financially to have abortions.3 Not to mention three bills passed, see below, in Indiana State that would restrict a women’s access to abortion.4 And note these are not all passed by men.
- Senate Bill 404, authored by Sens. Erin Houchin, Travis Holdman and Jeff Raatz, would impose restrictions on minors seeking abortions by removing, in some cases, a judge’s ability to ensure their privacy. Along with requiring parental consent, the bill would make it a criminal offence for a physician or a religious leader to counsel a minor on whether or not to have an abortion.
- House Bill 1128, authored by Rep. Ronald Bacon, would require that a pregnant woman be informed orally and in writing before a chemical abortion that the procedure could be reversed or stopped.
- Senate Bill 118, authored by Sens. Dennis Kruse and Liz Brown, would require a mandatory ultrasound before an abortion, and, notably, the bill would require the pregnant woman to view the foetal ultrasound imaging and listen to foetal sounds. Currently women can opt out of this procedure.
Note – The ultrasound mentioned above is transvaginal and is not medically required, thus it is subjecting women to an invasive and unnecessary procedure in an attempt to psychologically and emotionally manipulate her, or some might say, to bully her to change her decision.
Opponents to the bills say, “the bills serve no medical purpose and their sole purpose is to restrict women’s access to abortion.” “These bills are so unnecessary and don’t contribute to the safety of the procedure,” said Sue Ellen Braunlin, co-director of the Indiana Religious Coalition for Reproductive Justice. 4
Do any of the anti-abortion bills, lobbies, demonstrations, charities, companies really take into account the feeling and choice of the woman and her body – or are they solely built on ideals and beliefs from institutionalised religions, with many of them more in keeping with the Dark Ages than the 21st Century?
What if having an abortion was actually taking a deep level of responsibility?
Never once did I consider or even given myself credit for the level of responsibility I took to have an abortion. Some may say, ‘well you should have taken more responsibility to not get pregnant in the first place’, and yes I agree, but we all make mistakes. The choice I made was not selfish, and not solely about me, but the foetus as well. Deep down in my body I absolutely knew and know the level of responsibility and integrity I want to have a child with, and the responsibility I have and want to parent them in. I was not and I am not willing, to bring a child into this world in a loveless and abusive relationship or out of pure need. I knew in my circumstance this was the correct and most loving choice to make. I took everything into account.
So the question I would ask when all things are considered, is, are many, if not all of these women who choose to have abortions actually making a very loving and responsible choice for themselves and others?
Given that it is their body, their life, and a choice they will have to live with for the rest of their life, is it not their right and choice to make it?
- Abortion – choice and responsibility
- Abortion in N.Ireland – breaking free from the gags of silence.
520 thoughts on “Abortion – a responsibility.”
Earlier in 2019 Alabama completely outlawed abortions with doctors who perform such to be jailed for 99 years…Even in the instances of rape the woman cannot choose to abort or not. The treatment of women around the world is appalling (and men aren’t much better off) – but if the woman’s body was left alone, allowed to just be, what would happen?
There is a movement of energy that has suppressed women for centuries, this energy which is not love knows that if it destroys the sacredness that a woman carries naturally within her then the world will be in a continuous state of unrest and abuse. And this is what we have today, a society that is in constant motion rather than the stillness and motion that is the in breath and out breath of God. This energy constantly reminds women not to stand up and claim themselves because if they do then they will be attacked by this energy which comes through people who are empty and lost. For when we are empty and lost we can be easily controlled. We are empty and lost just like everyone else when we have lost the connection to God and the sacredness he is.
We know so little about how life actually works and as a consequence we’re making decisions based on assumptions, assumed beliefs, ideas and guesswork. For example most of us don’t consciously know that children choose their parents and therefore know exactly what it is that they are entering into, including abortion. Now I know that to our human mind that sounds ludicrous and begs the question ‘why would a child choose to be in the body of a mother who is going to abort their baby?’ but that to me is simply a reflection of how little we truly know about life and also just how superficial our understanding of life actually is.
Gyl, you’ve raised some interesting facts about abortion. To hear that laws are being passed saddens me. I’ve even heard of doctors being murdered because they carried out the surgical procedures of abortion, what is the world coming to…
I have come across a young girl who was gang raped in her country and when she arrived in Australia, it was too late to abort the pregnancy. The trauma that young girl experienced is probably beyond our comprehension. She then had to experience labour and systems were in place for the baby to be taken for fostering, just in case the mother decided to keep the baby!…
Now if we look at this case, what quality of life are we setting not only for the mother but also the baby?
We have much to learn about life, and these laws do serve a purpose to keep things in place but not for the purpose of controlling a person’s body part. There is much to ponder over with the rights and wrongs of one imposing on the rights and wrongs of another – Who is right and who is wrong? is the question I wouldn’t be pondering over, but: What is correct for that person at that given situation?…
‘Deep down in my body I absolutely knew and know the level of responsibility and integrity I want to have a child with, and the responsibility I have and want to parent them in. I was not and I am not willing, to bring a child into this world in a loveless and abusive relationship or out of pure need.’ If the pro life ideal was really about pro life, this concept would be at the heart of their awareness. Instead it comes from ideals and beliefs that do not consider the quality of life lived.
I see this more and more, people having a baby for the sake of having one as it is the done thing once you’re married. It’s kind of an expectation.
People often ask if I have children and there’s this awkwardness on their part when they hear, no. I’m okay with it and it has been my process, but the norm is still to have children. But if we allowed the space, we would understand the many reasons for people not having children, couldn’t, wouldn’t, wasn’t able to, didn’t want to. What ever their reasons, they are no lesser than the people with children.
It seems rather strange to me now that I could ever have thought that you were more of a someone, had achieved societal expectations if you had had a child. To me now, if there is someone who has decided not to have children because they know that they are not ready or know that they need to spend this life supporting themselves only, then they feel like much more responsible adults and actually rather ironically, better parents for making that choice then if they had made the choice to have kids for all the wrong reasons!
‘Just recently, 4th of February 2017 – under a new law passed in the state of Arkansas, in the USA1, “A pregnant woman’s husband will have the power to stop her from having an abortion, even in cases of spousal rape”. How far lost are we that we can pass a law that allows a man to rape a woman and stop her from aborting the child?’ Extremely lost indeed as with the other Bills you have enlightened us on here. There is no room for this dark age mentality or energy here any more. Calling it out and exposing it for what it is with no reaction or attachment will start to change this. It is important to get to the bottom or root of such ideals and beliefs (seeing them as energy first) so they have no place to hold onto or hide, therefore can no longer be.
A woman’s body is beyond the parameters of right and wrong. This attempt to control women and their bodies has only brought misery and harm to society.
‘I am not willing, to bring a child into this world in a loveless and abusive relationship or out of pure need’ – this line says it all really. How often as women do we get stuck in the belief that we cannot abort a fetus due to all the external pressures regardless of what we would want. It’s never an easy decision to make but sometimes it is the right one for that woman and the man at that time.
What you are sharing here Gyl is huge. The impositions women face from men and society is brutal and ugly but dressed up as moral. Perhaps the key to unlocking all of this isn’t to react or retaliate, shut down or feel like victims but for every woman to connect to her innate essence, appreciating the power in her delicacy and fragility empowering her to be all that she is and to say no to abuse on every level that life metes out.
When they form these laws and bills do they consider the lifelong damage and harm to the child? I’m not even talking about children being abandoned or adopted but living with parents who didn’t want them or were prepared to give them a loving and caring parenting. Life for the sake of life – but what’s the quality of that life?
A great subject to bring to the table, and as you have highlighted, one that is deemed to be unacceptable still in so many countries/circumstances. It would be so interesting to know though how many of those children born as a result of not being aborted have self worth issues that go on to affect their entire lives. If we were to look at it from this angle, perhaps the issue of abortion and responsibility would eventually become normal and acceptable.
Laws like the ones you mention are archaic and totally at odds with the natural equality of women and men, but it seems that counts for little in some parts of the world. These laws simply serve to keep women in a constant state of lack of self-worth and totally disconnected from the beautiful beings they are. I wonder who gains from this illogical stance? Humanity and the world certainly don’t.
We are seeing an increasing number of cases where parents are not able to cope with being a parent and abuse their own child in all kinds of manner – sure, they are being criminalized, but criminalizing them do not stop it from happening or address why there are more cases. Bringing a life into the world is not something that can be framed two dimensionally, and the laws of our societies do not encompass all aspects of our beingness in their makings.
It is every person’s – woman or man – right and responsibility to choose how to treat their own body.
How truly responsible are we being when we bring a child into this world out of our need to be loved by somebody? Have we considered the impact this may have on the child that has come into our lives? Many parents are not actually mentally, physically or financially capable to bring a child into this world, but our societal “should’s” come with so much pressure that honouring what we feel is true almost becomes not an option.
I’ll be 30 next year, prime time to have children in the eyes of some. A lot of my school friends have kids now, my mum had me when she was 28. If I was affected by what the world expects of me I reckon I’d be having more thoughts about having a child by now. But I don’t because I know it’s a psychological, social, financial, physical responsibility that does require all of me for the next half of my life possibly. It’s a huge responsibility I don’t feel to have as yet (and if not then that’s not an issue either). It’s a big commitment to have a child and I’d say we need more education before considering a child rather than being pushed into it by the “shoulds”.
It takes a lot of honesty to decide to have an abortion, and I would imagine that it can feel like a lonely place when there is no support, it makes you realise how we all have a responsibility to support others who have to make these kind of choices.
Yes there is no right or wrong to it, it is very much a choice to be made dependent on the circumstances and most importantly the woman’s own intuition or inner knowing but sometimes to get to that we need the support of another presence and open heart.
In essence we are all the same, we come in different genders but energetically we all have female and masculine sides. Why all the focus on the differences that give men somehow the right to inequality and to tell a woman what she should or cannot do. Yes, we live in different bodies and women can carry babies but no one is more than another and women should be able to choose for themselves.
There is so much more around abortion rather than the slogans preached by many; and in each case it’s individual and for each woman to decide what is needed given her specific circumstances; and yes abortion can be a deeply responsible choice and this is not something we really discuss … we need to broaden the discussion here and let go the judgement and bring greater understanding to what is needed. And as a basic every woman should be free to choose how and what she needs without imposition from either law or religions.
The imbalance in the world, in society, in all aspects of our lives, is there to be seen on so many levels. This is why we need to truly attend to ourselves first so we can feel what is actually going on.
I do absolutely think that abortion can be a truly responsible choice and that it’s really important for all women to be supported to feel what is true for them or at the very least not be imposed on to think that she would be ‘wrong’ to have an abortion.
Until humanity knows, experiences, that our bodies truly belong to the divine, there will be very little reflection of the true truth in our lives, and in the way we live.
Having been through the experience of a medical abortion a few years ago, we were very supported by the doctors around us who actually encouraged it rather than the opposite. And it was a healing on many levels for all of us involved in it. One of the things I discovered after having it when talking with others is how common abortions and miscarriages are – I thought before they were very rare but found out they are very common and most women I spoke to had had one or the other, much to my surprise. Something I also found is how much guilt and shame many of us carry with us as a result which shows how affected we are and have been by the dogma that abortion is a sin etc.. When it is every woman’s right to say yes or no regardless of the situation.
It is incredible how much effort gets put into disempowering a woman. Not allowing a person to make up their own mind and act upon their own accord is simply a violation of basic human right.
I agree Fumiyo it sure is a violation of a basic human right. It is a massive responsibility to bring a child into the world and one no one should ever take lightly.