by Maree Savins, Australia
When I was very young, about 4 years old in fact, I regularly had trouble breathing. I was diagnosed with asthma and could not go anywhere without my medication.
The doctor said that if I hadn’t outgrown asthma by the time I was 21 years of age, then I would have it for life.
My siblings outgrew their asthma symptoms, so there was all hope that I would do the same. I waited for that magic year to come along, only to discover that the asthma persisted into my 30s and beyond.
I needed my medication morning and night and sometimes during the day, particularly if I exercised or laughed a lot, and usually this was enough to keep the attacks at bay and my lungs breathing clearly.
I really didn’t pay a great deal of attention to my health and wellbeing until I met Serge Benhayon. It was here that I came to truly appreciate the significance of the body and to listen and note its limitations rather than just pushing on through. I became more gentle with myself and in the way I was living, challenging the many false ‘beliefs’ imposed by society about how I should live and how I should be.
I made many small changes to how I was living in day-to-day life, making different choices to those I had made in the past, and over a period of time, I became aware just how big a difference these small changes had made. I began to enjoy my life.
I felt some foods no longer supported me and I chose to remove them from my diet. In addition, exercising changed to be less driven and more gentle, I began to speak up more and my relationships became more loving. This all stemmed from changing how I felt about myself, and as I learned to care for myself, my natural gentle ways became my true expression.
Despite all of these changes, however, my asthma symptoms persisted.
The start of true healing
After five years of living a more gentle and caring way, I noticed the first significant change to my asthma symptoms.
The medicine I took was a preventative medication – meaning that I would take it to keep the symptoms of asthma away. However, on one occasion, when I forgot to take my medicine, I realised that it was now ‘holding’ me, supporting my lungs, for a couple of days.
I continued to take my medicine every 2 days and at this time I didn’t even contemplate whether there would be further improvements. In many ways, I was still held by the belief that I would have asthma for life and I never entertained thoughts anymore that it would be otherwise.
Some time later I attended my GP for a new script and on this occasion I asked for a lesser dose (half in fact), which was prescribed. I noticed that there was no change, the medicine kept the asthma at bay for the same period.
Another great step indeed.
Re-establishing my connection with God
Although amenable and committed to listening to the presentations of the Ageless Wisdom, as well as making lifestyle changes and being more loving with myself, I still wasn’t prepared to embrace God. I would say to myself that “I will do it on my own, I’ve always looked after myself”.
I wasn’t always like this. When I was young I felt my connection with God was very strong, but growing up and feeling great disharmony around me, I convinced myself that I had been abandoned by God.
I was angry at life being the way it was, and instead of just observing the disharmony as something outside of me, I shut myself down to love and to God’s communications because I did not like what I was feeling in the world.
In Truth, God had never abandoned me; it was me that turned away, it was ME who abandoned and shut down myself to God. God was patiently waiting for ME to be open to love again.
I had spent a number of years mending my relationship with myself, with others and with humanity at large … re-connecting to the love of God was a natural next step and its development began with walking.
The power of walking in connection
Although I would go for a walk most afternoons, I recently came to realise that I was mostly caught in my head trying to figure out problems, and not resolving them at all. I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what I had observed on my walk, as I was so very focused on my issue-of-the-moment.
Earlier this year, however, I began walking at sunrise and sunset, and I decided to just focus on the world around me; to see life in the bigger picture that it presents.
I watched as flocks of Ibis made their way to the top of five gigantic pine trees to prepare for the evening, and then in the morning they left, all following a leader and swirling and changing their configurations.
I watched the moon faintly appear in the sky, tracking its position and shape each night, and the stars as they populated the darkening sky.
I saw the changing colours of sunset in all its different shades, and the clouds making funny shapes.
Sometimes on the walk I would feel pearls of wisdom, or have an insight to my life, and the kookaburras would start laughing. It felt like they were confirming whatever it was I had felt at the time.
I so enjoyed being in the stillness of nature at these times of the day; I felt very much amongst it all, so very alive and connected to the grand scheme of life.
Wow, I had really missed out on so much over the years, with my head busily trying to work problems out; so disconnected from myself and the world around.
Keeping myself invested in the antics of thought was the perfect checkout from life, and I could go to that place anywhere and at any time. My head, was the ultimate place I could hide.
On these walks I knew without doubt that I was connected to nature and to God and that I was well supported. Whatever I needed to learn or understand about myself or life, whatever I needed to introduce or let go of, would be shown to me, and it would be felt clearly in the body.
I soon realised that it wasn’t just on these walks – these moments of reflection and connection were there throughout each moment of my day. Moments of true connection were reflected when – the ducks met me at the door of my workplace, the bunnies ran under my window, or when money flowed in just when I needed it. Other incidents may remind me that I have disconnected – as in, when I knock my knee on the desk, find myself fixated on a task on the computer, get booked by the Police for driving an unregistered vehicle or even to the extreme of a car accident on the way home from work.
God is continually communicating and supporting us, if only we are open and aware.
Nothing is a coincidence … everything is perfectly occurring just for us to remember who we really are, and sometimes to put a stop to living what we are not. That IS the ultimate Love.
Living more connected to my body and less in my head allowed for a miraculous shift in my anxiety levels, which were always notoriously high, and made way for a newfound steadiness.
Slowly it has become a little easier to allow myself to observe and feel the disharmony in my relationships or in situations around me. Although still perhaps uncomfortable, I am not necessarily running and hiding or pretending that I don’t feel what is really going on. These were ways I had learned to manage conflict and life, but they didn’t serve anyone well at all. What was needed was for me to openly talk about whatever it was that I was feeling at the time, even if I knew that another could resist it.
It began to make sense to me that living in such a contracted state, so distant from the true me, living like I had to fight to get through the day, impacted on my ability to breathe my own breath and, with the sadness and grief now gone from my body, my lungs were free to breathe without restriction.
On reflection I can say, that the more contracted from love that I was, the more contracted my airways became and the more difficulty I had in breathing. It was like my lungs were mimicking the way I was living.
It has now been months since I have had any asthma medication, despite exercising and living as normal.
On a few occasions I have felt the subtlety of its onset, and it was always at a time when I was upset or uptight about something; where I became consumed ‘in’ a problem rather than ‘observing’ it like an outsider, and in these times I was in my head and not connected to my body.
Finally, I can breathe my own breath, not having to rely on daily medication to keep the pathway to my lungs more open and steady … more open and steady, now just like me.