Two Doctors and a Patient

by Jennifer Smith, RN, Australia 

Today at work I witnessed something very beautiful, although it was something very ordinary. I watched two of my colleagues – two doctors – have a conversation about a patient.

Nothing unusual about this, given that we were all in a hospital. What was beautiful was the way they were with each other and then the patient.

This particular patient had only very recently received a very serious medical diagnosis. There had been a lot of medical assessments, tests and treatments in the previous 48 hours. All of which is often very overwhelming for anyone in this situation.

As I went about my work, organising patients for my day, I saw these two doctors standing together, talking to each other, and one was handing the care of the patient over to the other doctor as they were changing shifts. The thing that stood out the most was how genuinely caring they were, especially in the way they spoke of the person. They were considering everything about this person and their family.

Together they then spoke with the patient in a very ordinary fashion, very professional, but also connected to this patient as another human being.

You may be asking, so what’s so special about this, surely it happens every day?

This is true, however what I love about this moment was that I observed it and took note.

You see only a few years ago I would have not observed the way that these two doctors interacted with each other and would have dismissed how they spoke with the patient.

Over the last few years, with the support of Universal Medicine, I have been able to look at some of the beliefs that I have firmly held onto. One of them related to doctors and to medicine itself. One of these beliefs was that I thought doctors didn’t care, being sometimes put off by their manner, which could be abrupt, impersonal and rushed. I had seen doctors rush with patients and patients often said that they didn’t feel comfortable in talking to them as they never seemed to have the time.

One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.

The doctors and all of my other colleagues are genuinely caring people who really do care for their patients. None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.

This is especially important to see in a system that can seem so impersonal and rushed, even to someone who works within this system.

The other super important thing here was the fact that I chose to see this moment, for I am now sure that there have been many such moments that I have not even noticed before. In fact I am now a keen observer of all that goes on where I work, and there are many exquisitely beautiful moments between patients, relatives, cleaners, kitchen staff…everyone in fact.

As I ponder on why I am observing this now and not so much before, I can only put it down to how I treat and care for myself. The more open, tender and genuinely caring I am with myself, the more I see this in others.

Even though at times we may behave in ways that do not reflect the truly caring beings that we are, I know without doubt that this is our natural way and I now regularly see this in other people – the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care.

 

Read more:

  1. From exhaustion and feeling false to feeling vital and truly looking after myself – another great article by Jen
  2. Nursing, me and Serge Benhayon
  3. Compassionate care 

880 thoughts on “Two Doctors and a Patient

  1. “…but also connected to this patient as another human being.” – This should be the foundation for every conversation held on this earth. How many times of the day do we actually do this?

  2. We do all care. That is the bottom line. In understanding this we then know that what we are dealing with, in ourselves and others, that is not caring, is not the real deal but the layers we have adopted over time to ‘cope’ with life’s challenges. Getting back to the roots of our natural caring nature and appreciating it in others, are great opportunities to relinquish the false layers.

  3. Thanks Jennifer , I really like this part “I can only put it down to how I treat and care for myself. The more open, tender and genuinely caring I am with myself, the more I see this in others.” this bring helps to bring appreciation acceptance and understanding into the picture of everyday life.

  4. …”the bottom line is, we are in this business because we truly love to care” – and we have to remember this. Sometimes ‘the system’ and circumstances are pushing us into function and we lose the bottom line, lose our connection. But by noticing and appreciating caring moments, we give focus to our true impulse and stabilise our careful standing in the chaos around us. Well done Jennifer!

    1. Absolutely Sandra. Reminding ourselves of why we do the jobs that we do – because we love people and want to support them in whatever way we can – is a great step in re-establishing our commitment when things get tough.

      1. It is such a simple and easy thing to do: remembering that it is all about people. I take this into my day, into work, everywhere and remember it when things went not easy – Life and all is about people, not results.

  5. Observing and feeling the true beauty and care we all hold for each other, is a beautiful gift, once we appreciate and honour our self and then get to feel what is on offer to receive a reflection of love and care back.
    The more I look at what I have set up for myself and the images I have put in place – that has allowed more love and care to emanate out of my body and blossom out the woman within for the world to see and feel.
    Everyone I meet these days whether at shopping, work, walking or at the petrol station, they get all of me – a hello, smile or a little chat.

    Jennifer really love your sharing and your observation in your everyday life.

  6. Donna, this is a great reminder that when we choose to be impatient or frustrated we are not being caring and therefore not being the love that we are. These behaviours can so easily to slip into our daily life, as we focus on what needs to be done, rather than the quality we are doing something in. So often we continue without stopping ourselves and accepting that these patterns are not us. As I start a new day today, I am going to observe how often I become impatient or frustrated and look at ways to be more present and more caring in what I do. It is not something solely for the medical profession, caring is something we all naturally are and can be, whatever our profession.

    1. Hello Fiona and I agree. It’s important to realise that if we are being “impatient or frustrated” then this is in our “daily life”. We at times break the world up in pieces and say I’m only this way at work or it’s only this way when I speak or see this person or it’s only when I am driving I’m like this, but this is a dream and not reality, everything we do to everyone is there with as in every moment, every time. No breaks, just at times a different setting, face or day and so our living quality, the way we are with everything is important. So simply being in every moment and not pushing to the next or getting something done to get out the door etc is important. What we find is we don’t need to “look at ways to be more present and more caring in what I do” I just simply need to dedicate to presence and allow my body to be still in that moment and express my next step from there, then dedicate the same in the next step, the care is very natural from there because you are already living it.

      1. We become a Disco ball with all the small mirrors reflecting our light everywhere in very small bits and always in motion. As you have said Ray, we need to stop and be all we are.

      2. Yes, well said Ray. All life can be the same and there is then no compartmentalising, time outs, different personas or lesser versions of ourselves. As you say, all we need to do is commit to the quality of our presence by staying connected to our body and what we are feeling.

      3. Hello Janet and thank you. It all seems so simple but yet it’s not the norm. Life is about movement from one moment to the next. It’s not concentration, right or wrong etc but simply about the quality of our movement in and out of each moment of life no matter what the heading. Every ‘move’ counts whether typing on a keyboard or flying a plane, dedicate everything to every move.

  7. Thank you Jennifer I really like your appreciation for yourself and for the two doctors. I am working in a hospital as well and I too had such not so nice beliefs about doctors in the beginning, but that changed very quickly as I could observe how deeply caring they were. Every day they open up to the best of their ability to listen and to understand. What made me wonder is how sometimes patients treated them not in a friendly way and how they stay in contact and let the patient be. I love to appreciate our doctors whenever I feel to do so – in the beginning they were not able to handle it but now they like it.

    1. It is lovely reading both Jennifer and you have been making a point of observing and appreciating the deeply caring nature of the doctors, although at times they may show otherwise. I know from personal experience that although I am a deeply loving and caring person, it is possible that at times I react to the challenges of my day and lose those qualities – yet when I have others around me who appreciate and relate to me in a way that reminds me of who I am, it is so much easier to snap out of it and return to the love and care that is my true essence.

      1. I agree Golnaz: “I know from personal experience that although I am a deeply loving and caring person, it is possible that at times I react to the challenges of my day and lose those qualities.” And then I love it that our doctors were appreciating me – appreciation is really worth it and unfortunately so missed in our daily life.

  8. ‘One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.’ I agree, how often we forget about how much we care for others when we put our issues in the way of connecting with people.

    1. I agree Susan, caring is our true nature and often we let our personal issues or fear of consequences get in the way of true connection with people.

  9. Last night I was in Accident and Emergency at my local hospital. From the moment I arrived I felt the care of the lady that greeted me at reception. She was busy and focused but light hearted with me, clearly aware of my anxiety. I was then seen by a nurse without any delay who immediately relaxed me by telling me the information I needed to hear. He cared about how I was feeling and knew what was needed to immediately to put me at ease. Shortly after I saw a doctor who was equally caring and highly professional. The service and advice I received was exceptional. I felt truly cared for and well looked after by all of those I came into contact with and I observed the same caring treatment of those around me. It was beautiful to observe.

    1. Yes there is more to see if we open up the blinders. But then we have to handle that and maybe have to take back a lot of ideas and beliefs which did hold us ‘safe’ but also limited.

      1. And once seen, what action will we take? I have been posed with this situation numerous times recently and have wondered, what is it that needs to change here? Certainly, the re-claiming of my true insight is the essential first step and from there, walking each moment with truth, regardless of any discomfort.

  10. Being naturally caring should be something we know about ourselves from birth, yet along the way for many this awareness is lost in the dramas of life, and competitiveness, comparison and jealousy flourish. What a shame because as you point out Jennifer – it’s us that are missing out, because caring acts are constantly available for us to observe and feel, and our awareness of this is certainly heightened if we have at least made a start to care for ourselves.

  11. Our natural and innate way of being is love and therefore to be anything less than caring we are coming from our hurts or that which has tainted us to act in this way. Bringing understanding to others assists them to reconnect to the innate love that is there residing within.

  12. “we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this….None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.” I love this reminder as we can easily focus on our faults or appreciate our intention.

  13. I was fascinated when I first started to observe Serge Benhayon in workshops – I especially noticed it when individuals were rough-mannered, he seemed to always see the most divine and precious aspect of each individual regardless of how they were presenting themselves and he always honoured every individual by addressing that which I now realise is the true essence of all of us. Always loving the person unwaveringly whilst noticing that which does not represent who they truly are and calling it out if that is supportive. This has been a great reflection of what a true loving relationship looks like.

    1. Beautifully shared Golnaz. Every person has a precious and divine aspect and people wouldn’t choose caring for others if they really weren’t interested. It’s not a profession that you can just go through the motions for personal gain.

    1. I agree Adam, the ideas we hold about people prevents us from seeing who they really are. When we judge another like that it is us who miss out.

    2. Yes, Adam, we are very good at putting people in boxes so that we can make sense and cope with life, but we miss out on so many spontaneous gestures of love by living in this way.

  14. What is interesting Jennifer is how your observation and this article show that our beliefs actually colour and control the way were are prepared to view the world or indeed perceive what is going on around us..”One of these beliefs was that I thought doctors didn’t care, being sometimes put off by their manner, which could be abrupt, impersonal and rushed.” You had blinded yourself to the caring nature of doctors you worked with…and missed out on the enjoyment of those small moments. Thank you for this great example of the limitation that beliefs hold us in.

  15. I work in an area where the doctors are very caring to their patients and am able too to observe care and compassion to people on a regular basis. I agree Jennifer, it is our natural behaviour and makes volumes of difference to the recipient when they are treated in this way. It’s an example for us all to follow on a daily basis, love care and respect to all we meet.

    1. The care of one human being for another is always a thing to behold, but particularly when one is impacted by ill health, it is an opportunity for care and love that is forever remembered.

    2. It’s incredible Gill that you’ve noticed a significant difference in the patients that are cared for and supported by the doctors, not only medically but in every area. I feel more emphasis needs to be put on this in the medical profession, as it is as important as the medicine itself considering the impact it can make.

    3. A recent report on ‘doctor burnout’ has found in the US over 50% of doctors were suffering from stress and the shocker of the report was the increase of suicidal ideation, with the highest increase from surgeons. The ‘physician heal thy self’ needs help! Is there any other profession that requires a person to sacrifice themselves for the care of others at the detriment of self? What are the other 50% doing? They could be the reflection for the others, but without caring for your self first… the numbers are in. With the tools, training, medicine and self-care there will always be amazing medical professionals.

    4. This is a brilliant and essential extension to all of our understanding of the health care profession. Taking care of each other – bringing care into our every interaction – is a super simple and hugely impactful practice. A something that just needs to be an integral part of any health care training.

  16. “One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.” And in this knowing it makes a difference to focus on this rather than the ‘bad’ otherwise we begin to only ‘see’ the lack of care others. Appreciation of ourselves and natural ability to care opens us up to much more.

    1. Julie I love what you’ve pulled out from the blog, the fact is that each and every single one of us is deeply loving and caring, yet in some cases we don’t allow this natural self to come out. As a result the very opposite of who we are can be the way we live our entire lives.

  17. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all start observing the good things in people instead of focusing on the bad. I suppose it really does all boil down to how we view and treat ourselves as well. It would all make for such a better and brighter world.

    1. I love this simple question, statement. Divinely Beautiful, “Wouldn’t it be great if we could all start observing the good things in people instead of focusing on the bad.”. It’s like little kids, “I don’t like you, because you are not nice to me”. How childish. We’re often waiting to express appreciation to others because no one is appreciating us. Where it is actually so Lovely to both express and receive appreciation. And I understand that it might be difficult in the beginning to receive or express because we’ll be confronted with the fact how little appreciation we might have held for ourselves… But do we – as a society – want to continue this momentum or are we the generation that breaks it? With no perfection, I’m part of the generation that’s putting energy in more and more appreciating. And, it’s so Lovely! Worth having a go at… Thank you Kevin!

    2. Wouldn’t it just kevmchardy. All too often it seems that we have a negative experience whilst either visiting or being treated in the hospital and then forever more we carry that experience around with us and it resurfaces from time to time.
      I know from my own experience the more care I take of myself before and during a hospital procedure, the more positive my interaction with the hospital staff is.

    3. Absolutely Kev, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if we could all start observing the good things in people instead of focusing on the bad’, after reading this blog recently I have started seeing the good in people and it makes life so much lighter and more joyful rather than always seeing the negative.

      1. Hello Rebecca, I agree and use the word appreciate. For me if I’m seeing good or bad, right or wrong then I know something is out of balance in me. I go back to appreciating the simple things around me, the smallest gesture, things in my everyday. I know that if I dedicate to the appreciation of life around me consistently then that becomes my lived future. In other words, live life in a way that you would like to receive it. Don’t wait for the world to show you how to be but connect with how you truly are and live that now, the world will change because of the change you have made. You don’t watch for the change but you appreciate again and deeper to what this feels like in you.

      2. Gorgeous what you have shared Ray about appreciation. I have had thoughts whirling in my head and when I let myself appreciate what I have, who I am the support around me, it clears the fog so I can see a truer picture.

    4. Even in the bad times, when people have not lived up to the expectations we have, we can see the real person through the fog of who they are not. This helps to dissolve the expectations and instead focus on who they (and we) really are.

      1. During the bad times as you have said Heather people in these dark times shine even brighter in the contrast of their situation when we look and feel the real person.

      1. And not just seeing the good things as there are some not so good things, we can’t turn our back to, but seeing what is true.

    5. Starting with what we ‘say’ when we look in the mirror? Are we criticising and judging, stopping on the surface of physical shortcomings? Or are we smiling from deep within acknowledging that we are so much more? Yes this is life changing and the ripple effects are endless.

  18. Have we forgotten to appreciate ourselves long ago? It’s stunning what happens when you begin to appreciate. The whole world around you changes. I especially like the phrase:
    “None of us are perfect and we have some not so great days. But the fact that we care does not alter.” This is so loving and tender.

    1. I think we may have as a society forgotten to appreciate ourselves, and thus all around us the appreciation is diminished. Through appreciation the walls between us disappear.

    2. Hello Felix, I agree and when you continue to appreciate you see there is no boundary, no end and the only thing that stops this growth or expanded awareness is you.

  19. What a great twist to the tale Jennifer, that yes caring things do happen and doctors do care, but your appreciation of this is wonderful because then as an observer you are breaking down images about doctors and showing that there is another way to relate and be. Awesome.

    1. All these human beings who choose to take the path of being a doctor are brave souls. They commit to support people at their worst, they deal with all the unrealistic expectations people have of being fixed, they work very long hours. Thank goodness for doctors.

      1. I agree, Heather. I take my hat off to anyone who has committed their working life to supporting others who are sick and ‘at their worst’. Perhaps we need to look more closely at the systems that make it hard for them to do their job, but also take more responsibility for why we get sick in the first place.

      2. True Heather. There is an unrealistic pressure and demand on doctors (that is ever increasing) as the world becomes sicker. The more we care for our own wellbeing and bring responsibility to the table, the more we allow doctors to do their real job without the unnecessary extra burden of dealing with patient irresponsibility and expectation that the doctor can ‘fix’ everything for them.

      3. What you share here Heather is very true and I have a new respect for my medical colleagues and appreciate them everyday now, whereas once upon a time I did not.

  20. What I got so clearly from reading this today as when you hold a picture of how you think life or a situation is/should be, that filters so much of what you actually see. When you remove the filter, you can see much more clearly. For example, if you think Doctors can be uncaring, then that is what you will see even though they are deeply caring at times.

    1. Yes Sarah, it is always good to drop the picture and give ourselves a chance to see what is actually there. We can judge so harshly, and this does not contribute to a kind world.

      1. The pictures rule our lives, that is how we keep ourselves safe, by thinking we know how the world should be.

    2. Very true Sarah and this is the responsibility we don’t see for the same reason “you hold a picture of how you think life or a situation is/should be”. So if we have a picture of life or how we are suppose to be and act then you have a fixed point you always walk to and are ignorant to what else is going on around you. To see more, we need to make the change with how we walk through each moment, open up to possibilities. All life cycles around us and yet we are largely ignorant to those cycles and at times pretending that they exist for everything else but we live outside of them. Just the unchangeable fact alone will see us act and walk different, if we know everything we do and say is coming back to us at some point, how would you like to receive life? I’m not talking about physical possessions either, I’m talking about the quality of how you live.

      1. Ray I had a strong image of someone walking around with a selfie-stick but at the end of the selfie-stick is an image/picture of how to be/act and when you focus on that, you do not see the rest of the world around you nor are you open to the other possibilities. And thanks for the reminder that what you do and say comes back to us – I had (in) conveniently forgotten that – a good reminder and good note to self today. Check.

      2. Great to check in Sarah and thank you. We have always known this, “what you do and say comes back to us” and we still speak about this unchangeable fact in conversations but for some reason don’t adhere or dedicate directly to it. It’s not about being nice to everyone either, we are talking about a quality of living, a quality of presence that no matter behind closed doors or in the town square it holds everything and everyone in a deep care. We are society of compartments, world, home, weekend, weekday, family, friends but it matters not what the setting but always matters what the quality is. As we are saying whatever we are is the quality that is coming back, cycles remember.

    3. Well said Sarah and so true. We have allowed pictures to set us up rather than seeing the world for all that it is in each moment. To drop the ‘picture’ is to drop the control of how we expect things to be and allow them as they are.

    4. Thank you Sarah. Your comment offers a lot of clarity “when you hold a picture of how you think life or a situation is/should be, that filters so much of what you actually see.”

  21. I recently spoke to a doctor about the care plan he and his team had devised for a relative. The doctor spoke with such obvious care explaining in detail about the decisions made and why, including what was likely to be causing the problem so I had the same understanding as he did. He treated me as an equal and with the full understanding of my connection to his patient. He was someone within a system that was no doubt asking a lot of him, yet he was able to choose to do all of his work with a deep level of sincere care for others. In the short time we spoke I felt truly connected to this doctor and as we finished up I gently said to him to “please take good care of yourself.”, and he responded with surprise and appreciation. I felt how much we all contribute to each other when we truly express our care. Doctors need this just as much as patients and families do.

    1. Beautiful Melinda. What a gorgeous reminder of the ‘human-ness’ of doctors – there are doctors that truly care and they all need self-care too, to provide this.

  22. As I understand the language and of love and appreciation, it is easier to see in others as well as the fact that others for many reason choose to behave in a different way.

  23. I agree, Jennifer, my experience of being in hospital was super inspiring, as I observed only genuine care and respect from the dedicated staff who looked after me.

    1. Me too Janet – I was recently in hospital for a minor op and the staff were very caring and supportive through the whole process. Inspiring when we consider some of the demands and pressures they are under in our health service.

      1. You cannot be in such a job without holding care for others as a deep value, even if it is not expressed perfectly due to the high demands of the system.

  24. While care can be brought to how we do any job there is something quite demanding about working in health care; juggling time restraints, delicate situations with patients and their families, and even the personal strain of shift work is no small commitment. I applaud both doctors and nurses as no doubt that at the end of the day, from their hearts, they care. Could the care deepen? Absolutely, but as you found Jenny, only when the health practitioners care deepens for their own health and well-being first will this be possible without depleting themselves.

  25. The experience described here in this blog clearly shows there is a lot of love and care in the world, we only have to be willing to see it.

  26. Medical staff have a true dedication to care at their core. It’s palpable, just that under time, resource and cost pressure, they’re stressed from juggling too many balls and that’s what can get clocked as the primary experience when journeying through the system as a patient. The health and wellbeing of those who care for us is paramount and I only wish this were higher on the agenda in those places where they work.

    1. Yes Cathy, rather than try to push medical staff to squeeze the ‘most value for money’ out of them by extending their hours to such a level that their own self care will be hindered and patient care will suffer, why not go the other way, support our medical staff to have the time to truly care for themselves so that their mental well being and efficiency is at its optimum.

    2. Well said Cathy, and it may be that if medical staff dedicated more of their time to taking care of THEMSELVES that they would feel less stressed, more supported to care for others to the best of their ability and more confident in the example that they’re setting for patients.

  27. In the Netherlands there is a website where you can express your appreciation for the doctors. I love doing so and also it is great to express in the moment itself when we are together. When I observe the doctors I feel many times the immense pressure they live under, because we expect them to know all and to get rid of all our symptoms. A big illusion we are under. It is important to see the limitations too and our own responsibility and care.

    1. We have the same system here, at least with my doctor’s surgery and local hospital. I am regularly deeply touched by the care I receive from both, and love to express my appreciation face to face and in writing.

      1. That is great to hear. This we can inspire each other to do when we hear from people around us that they got to the doctor. It is time we deeply realize how intense it is for the doctors and how much pressure is on them because the financial situation of hospitals is not doing well so they have to work even harder with more ill clients. We have to realize that we all together made a mess of our bodies by living in disregard and the price to pay is getting more clear and we better embrace the doctors for the support they offer medically.

  28. Very beautiful Jennifer. It is a honoring to all the people working in the medical field and will help us as human beings to become more aware of the other side. Mostly when we are ill we are so busy with ourselves and so is our family. We are all very concerned about us, and having a stress and fear if all will be ok after all. This stress is put on the doctors, nurses and others. When we are in fear and stress we are not seeing the other anymore, life becomes about self. For people to work in that area is intense and it is very much needed that we also express our appreciation for all they bring to us and care for us, like Jennifer describes so beautifully. Already the fact that, for example, a person who is operating you did study for many years to be able to do so for us.

  29. When a person gets given news about a serious health condition it always has a big impact initially, much like a car accident. The initial impact is soon followed by how and why as the shock of the event starts to sink in. How we are as health care professionals matters enormously during this time, as it can bring stuff up for the for carers as well as it does for the patients themselves.

    1. This aspect of health care is equally important and perhaps opens up another role within healthcare, perhaps for a medically trained counsellor- able to handle clinical questions and help a patient to process and understand the diagnosis. After the initial shock passes this role could also explore those naturally arising questions like ‘how?’ and ‘why?’ Enter Esoteric Medicine and the role of a physician’s assistant.

    2. Knowing ourselves outside of our roles of ‘patient’ and ‘health professional’ helps us to truly connect and know a person beyond their mistakes or what they do.

  30. We know we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, it comes very naturally to us. It’s also important to be present in every moment, which feels why you noticed the two doctors at the time Jennifer, so we’re not thinking of the full waiting room of people sitting outside, but feeling exactly what is in front of us at any given time. Well observed , and there are many examples to see every day of true care.

  31. Jennifer, thank-you for sharing your appreciation for this ordinary moment, it is truly confirming when the care we dedicate to ourselves is reflected back in others. I’m filled with wonder at the potential these self loving choices have to inspire a move away from the accepted rush and time pressures lived on a daily basis.

  32. ‘One thing that I have come to understand is that we are all genuinely caring and this is our true nature, but sometimes for whatever reason we don’t allow ourselves to show this.’ Isn’t this just crazy? – in not showing it we are actually not living it either. In effect we are choosing to live something else that is not us and we actually go as far as to think we have convinced ourselves that we are not that which we are, but in fact that which we are not. Ridiculous.

  33. This is the current ‘extra-ordinary’ experience of many (simply because it is not experimented by the majority), however it is in fact the most ‘ordinary’ and natural experience in the world.

  34. Good call and great question Alexis – how limited we are in our way of seeing the world and truly responding to others until we have enough humility to see others point of view and change our set stance.
    “We’re only ever prepared to see what we want to see, rather than what’s actually there. Or is it that what’s actually there is dependent on what we’re prepared to see? Hmmm…”

    1. Yes, brilliant question. I am more aware of choosing to see the world through the filters of my hurts. I’ve become more able at feeling and so discerning when this is at play and it’s often very obvious. So often I used to not want to see the love reflected in others – I chose avoiding my hurts, the greatest being my not choosing love. No, I preferred blaming the world and remaining the facilitator of my own misery!

  35. Burnout is extremely common in health care professionals and one of the classic signs of it is depersonalisation or dehumanisation, where basically the health professional stops caring for their patients as human beings and becomes cynical about their work. So supporting our health care professionals to take care of themselves first is key, so that they can truly care for others.

      1. I like that Deanne – cynical becomes clinical and is deemed a normal part of being a health care professional. I have witnessed this first hand in many a hospital ward, clinic and staff room.

  36. Reading your lovely blog Jennifer I also realise and deeply appreciate how many truly caring people working in the health field I have had the pleasure to meet. And just recently I needed to call the police service, thinking I would get fobbed off, as my issue was not of huge importance,but was affecting me enough to feel I needed to get clarity what options I had to address this situation. The lady policewoman who answered the phone, on a busy Saturday night was so caring and supportive that I was rather stunned. She was really listening to me and explaining how I best proceed and how I could get their supportive services to assist me in this case. Her care and love was impossible to miss. How amazing what we all can bring to each other every day, in all and any life situation at all.

    1. Isn’t it interesting the thoughts we can have before we do something, such as your example Esther. It’s then even more interesting that we end up being surprised by the complete opposite to what we were thinking. This very same thing has happened to me on more occasions than I care to remember and proves to me that we receive nothing from thinking.

      1. Absolutely Jennifer. The images we receive through thoughts set us up to expect an outcome in life and live in a reality that is void of the beauty that is actually possible when we live from our body rather than the mind.

  37. There is always time to express our appreciation to doctors and nurses. When we do they can suddenly let go of the intensity of the work load they carry and relax, you can almost feel the hardness built up from anxiety and stress melt, and then they take that with them into the rest of their appointments that day. It only takes a moment, but that moment becomes many moments for many people.

    1. This is very true Joan, I have experienced that in my nursing work. I have found that it is important to let the appreciation in as it can be easy to not really take note. It’s also important that we as health professionals come to the understanding that appreciation begins with ourselves and appreciating who we are and everything that we bring, moreso than the actions we undertake and skills we may have.

    2. Moments of appreciation arrest the push of doing and drop us back into our ‘human being-ness’ and relationship with each other. It is incredible to observe these moments and the impact and change they bring.

  38. Observing the care that others offer is something I have often taken for granted amongst my family and cousins. I see my family taking care of elders to the smallest details, and and yet I have not stopped to truly appreciate what has been offered. This blog has just reminded to appreciate every moment.

    1. Coming from old hurts around not being treated with care and love, we can demand being treated this way, and instead of appreciating one choice to be loving, we live with an eagle eye for every gesture that isn’t loving and use this to confirm the hurt and misery we have chosen to carry.

  39. Jennifer something else that your article has caused me to reflect on is how our beliefs directly influence what we are prepared to see. I have been aware of this in myself at work. If I have a certain idea about something then I tend to see whatever evidence supports my idea and the same with my colleagues, they seem to see things that support their way of thinking. It seems a rare occurrence for people to say ‘you know what, you’re actually right, I can see what you see’. We’re only ever prepared to see what we want to see, rather than what’s actually there. Or is it that what’s actually there is dependent on what we’re prepared to see? Hmmm…

    1. I would say Alexis that there is a difference between what we project on to a situation and perceive it to be (based on our own beliefs and ideals) and feeling energetically what the truth is. The former comes from our minds and the latter from our inner hearts.

  40. Jennifer your sharing has caused me to reflect on my own beliefs around the medical profession. 30 years ago when I was studying to be a nurse I saw a woman given a critical diagnosis and then the curtains pulled around her bed and she was left by herself. I only spent 3 months on the medical ward and this experience seemed to sum up my feeling that the nurses didn’t have enough time to actually be with people. What I have just realised is that I have not re-visited my belief about the medical profession since, I have simply carried my very stuck view around with me from year to year. I am grateful that through your sharing I have unhinged my stuck belief somewhat and am ready to feel anew.

    1. You make a good point here Alexis that often we have one experience in life either positive or negative and then set our beliefs about that type of experience at a certain point which we recall every time a similar experience or situation arises. We get stuck with a certain view or opinion about something. I know I have done this many times. However it has been my experience that things change all the time and it has been far wiser for me to learn to feel and discern the energy of any and every moment as it comes rather than rely on a recalled memory or event.

    2. It’s fascinating how such a small observation and short experience can influence our views on something for years… With the negative press on the medical profession and the NHS in the UK I have no doubt that many share a negative view and perception of it. This may be similar in other countries too?

    3. That’s great Alexis. It’s amazing how we can form a firm judgment on the whole of something because of the actions of one or two. All beliefs we have are definitely worth re-visiting and re-questioning, even if we come to the same conclusion.

    4. The more I read blogs like this and others on this site, I feel how much the patients have to offer in reflecting back to the professionals about the importance of relationship, connection and presence. We can all become lost in the systems of working, adhering to ‘good practice’ et al, but without that relationship with each other, bodies may recover, but what of the beingness that lives within?

  41. Those moments that we have simply observing the very ordinary, can be very beautiful and confirming of what is our true nature – and of course, what is not.

    1. Absolutely Rosanne, observing those very ordinary moments reminds us of our true nature. The problem often is that we don’t take the time to observe these moments, as we are so caught up in the doing and rushing around, forgetting to appreciate life around us.

      1. All of the above confirming that beauty is in the ordinary and everyday. Whatever we look out at and the way we do so reflects how we are back to us. That in itself is beautiful no matter where we are at. So much here to appreciate. Loving the appreciation and beauty in these comments also.

    1. Beautifully said Kate. We can also continue to adjust our lens so that what we see and feel becomes much clearer.

    2. Gorgeous sharing Kate, our world is a reflection which reflects how we’re living and the relationship we have with ourselves.

  42. I too have begun to witness the love that people express, whereas years ago I would have been oblivious to it as you were. I definitely attribute it to changing my relationship with myself, being open to evolution and therefore my entire perspective of the world transformed.

      1. I agree Andrew, when we live that love ourselves it is much easier to see all the love that is actually there in others.

      2. I agree Andrew and Kate, only yesterday in a shopping centre in the space of what seemed moments I saw a little girl hand in hand with her mum walking and looking adoringly at her mum whilst the little girl was talking to her; a little boy stopped from running across a busy road – playfully; 2 men greeting each other as only old friends can do, and the shop keeper where I was holding some of my shopping so I didn’t have to carry too many bags. Beautiful moments are really everywhere if we see them.

      3. Absolutely Andrew. There’s Love everywhere as well as there’s the not-love everywhere. It’s up to us to see what we a) want to see and b) to which of the two we want to contribute, pay attention to, give energy and c) are we doing so in an observing and loving way or in an absorbing, sentimental and / or judgemental way? Personally I’m learning to let Joy be part of my everyday life once again. There’s Joy in everything. Writing this comment and pondering on the subject of appreciation, how it works for me and to feel all other people’s comments is in itself a wonderful and joyful thing to be with and to do.

    1. I know that when I am feeling hard on myself and only focusing on the things I can do better in, I do view the world in a more judgemental way – only seeing the problems and issues. When I take the time every day to connect to my body and deeply appreciate my own essence and stillness and the gorgeousness of that, it supports me to see the world in a much more balanced way – observing it all without judgement or critique.

      1. So true Andrew, learning to connect to our inner stillness, appreciate and visit it often through the day, it affords us some space in the midst of the busyness and rush that enables us to observe and be curious about the world and all we meet, rather than instantly reacting and getting caught into the drama of it all.

    2. Reading your comment made me remember that yesterday I felt the appreciation for my parents that we always had dinner together as a family. I can’t recall any evening that one of them weren’t there. I’ve never allowed myself to feel (!!!) how much I enjoyed that. There’s Magic if I allow myself to feel and deeply appreciate. Such different relationships with both myself and others!

  43. All people, in truth, have the ability to deeply love and honour each other, however, there are many people who, for numerous reasons are not choosing this. Appreciating moments where we do see this caring and honouring is important because it confirms the truth of who people really are and their natural way of expressing together.

    1. Agreed Kate. There are very few people who would choose to not be their caring self, however, unfortunately get caught up in a world that values performance over quality.
      By appreciating that this is our true nature, we are able to build a deeper trust and surrender with all people and not be in protection in those moments when we are not met with the love and care we know we all deserve.

      1. Kylie I agree. It is the act of surrender that disarms the protection that holds us apart from others, and thus we feel our connection with all humanity. Such joy is felt in those moments.

    2. Absolutely Kate. I recently spent some time with my relatives and cousins and was quite shocked at the way they treated one another – calling each other names, swearing, yelling, getting frustrated and being quite abusive with one another, but it occurred to me that because they were all confirming to each other that this way of being was okay and acceptable (the parents doing the same thing too), they weren’t aware that there was a different and much more respectful way to behave around family. Thus I had the responsibility to show them this, and could not judge them for the way they lived as they had not been given a choice previously to do any different.

    3. I agree Kate, appreciating these moments confirms the love and care we see in ourselves and others. This acknowlegement creates a ripple in the Universe giving others the opportunity to be more too.

    4. I agree Kate, appreciating these little things we see during our day and making that our norm would go a long way to changing our lives personally and how we are with each other.

    5. So true Kate – I love how you have expressed this. Oftentimes it seems to me that when those folk who choose to not be honouring their innateness could be hiding a sensitivity or perhaps there could be a belief that they are not able to accept, or possibly there could be a sadness or deep hurt that is begging to be addressed. I find it to be quite a beautiful moment and experience when I witness unexpectedly the natural exchange of a caring and loving gentility between people. One has to wonder why would such an event be seemingly exceptional and not of the norm in some arenas of our world, country, town, school, home etc.

    6. Yes, important point katemaroney1 – in the appreciation there is confirmation and expansion of the moment. To me the appreciation is as crucial as the act itself.

  44. When we stop and observe what is going on around us it is lovely (and sometimes not!). There have been many moments where I have seen acts of kindness or love between people. I did this the other day, I was driving down a road that was really long towards the town centre, and saw an elderly frail lady very slowly walking down the road to town with a battered old trolley. I drove passed her wondering about her life and then thought: Why did I drive past her?! So turned round and drove back to offer her a lift to the town centre. She accepted. It felt good to support another.

    1. I enjoyed reading your story about helping the old lady Vicky and it reminded me of this elderly lady holding onto a lamp post because it was so windy, and this guy came along and helped her down the street. It’s lovely to see that these little moments do happen between people, who do not know each other.

    2. Lovely to feel Vicky how this gesture came from your beautiful big heart and not because it was the right thing to do.

    3. Vicky a beautiful reflection of self responsibility and love. We can sit back and observe what is going on, tut tut about all the injustices in the world, or we can roll up our sleeves and do whatever we can to support another in every small way.

    4. Helping another when impulsed by the heart is the most rewarding experience ever. It can be in the form of an offer of practical help, a smile or silent steady presence … it feeds our soul like nothing else.

    5. Vicky – what a lovely gesture of assistance given to the frail lady.
      When we are openhearted and supportive of others, this too will come our way in return. I feel it is important to read the situation and offer help when needed.

    6. Vicky this is beautiful and very natural and it’s such a great way to support others, and yet it can be easy to go past and say it’s not up to us, but in fact we’re the ones who change things, all of us – so thank you for sharing this.

  45. This is so true, I feel like the care and compassion has to be there for a doctors to commit to the absolute large study required to become a doctor. At some level we all have this care for people! I love what you’re sharing here Jen.

    1. I agree Natasha and often I find people forget or do not appreciate how passionate they are about their role and so the purpose goes and they are left with the feeling of ‘why am I doing this’

      1. True Amina, I also find that people often forget what inspired them to the roles they have chosen to contribute with in life. It is lovely when we take the moment to appreciate others and remind and confirm how precious and valuable each of us is, not just by what we do, but by what we bring to what we do. It is wonderful reading about Jennifer appreciating the caring nature of the doctors.

      2. Very true Amina – health care professionals show great dedication in both being able to complete what is often arduous training and continuing to work in challenging circumstances within struggling health care systems.

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