A skin rash tells its story.

By Joan Calder, retired/volunteer work, Frome, UK. 

Hello! I am called Pityriasis Lichenoides by the medical profession, although they freely admit they do not know what causes me to exist. It’s a long complicated name but it makes me feel important and I had a big presence in the body where I have lived for eight years, in fact, you could say, I have been in control of the situation during that time — up until now.

I was born in the gut of a female human; my parents are of unknown origin, although there is a possibility it started with my hostess’s inflammatory reaction out of a response to Father Virus or Mother Bacterium. This is not surprising considering the way she maltreated her body, and her emotional reactions to everything around her. I lived quite happily in those long dark serpentine tubes for a long time until one day she met what is called a Gentle Breath Meditation and started to practise it.

My world was suddenly changed. I felt I was being called to come out of my tunnels of damp warmth, to be drawn to the surface into the light and the air, and explode myself on her skin for all to see. It started with a huge red patch of skin across her upper chest, and then one day I burst forth there with an itchy rash so virulent that hardly any skin could be seen.

Let me describe to you what I am like. I start to appear on the skin as little, very itchy, bumps or small pimples. It depends where I am located and what mood I am in. I cause as much irritation as I can at this stage, just to get attention. When I have achieved my goal and the heads of my pimples have been lacerated, then I start to form hard crusty scabs over the wounds. I stay dormant in this stage for a long time, getting crustier and crustier and ruminating on the effect I am having. I can make this stage really irritating and itchy for my hostess as well, and if it gets infected, then it heats up and spreads throughout the whole of that great organ of the skin where I express myself, and often back into internal organs as well.

In this stage I can make my hostess believe she is me. I possess her and she totally identifies with me.

Eventually I allow myself to fade, but I leave a brown scar for many months, if not years, to remind her I am the boss. As one lot fades then I find a new outlet and start again. I use the whole body except the face, I leave that to my cousin eczema, although she doesn’t use that very often, preferring to inhabit the life-sustaining moist hidden cavities of the ears.

I am sure you get the picture, but I have to tell you I am not so powerful these days and feeling distinctly weak and as though I am losing a lot of ground. I have no stability, and as soon as I start to appear, my hostess has found ways and means of dealing with me.

At first, in the past, these were desperate means, I could feel it, she would use anything and everything to try and combat me. This was war and I am very good at that game, my main allies being anger and deceit. Everything was waged against me: steroids, creams, lotions, UV rays. I retreated to base camp in the gut, my home-base, while they were going on, for they did my self- image no good at all, and recuperated until the onslaught stopped. Then gradually I would emerge again for a new round.

But there was one treatment that worked differently and I really did not like it. Having taught my mistress to do the Gentle Breath Meditation, esoteric healing practitioners were now calling me out to show even more of myself, roots and all, so they could be recognised and cleared. This way I would have nothing to hang onto. This was agony, having to let go. I raced from one part of the body to another attempting to escape the scrutiny, but the practitioner always knew where I was hiding, usually in a dense part where my hostess had been holding onto emotions for a long time, and eventually I would have to let go.

How do you fight something that says “Bring it on, show yourself, let’s see the real you, not just all that irritation and anger, but the you that really wants to come out into the open; the you that is truly loving if you would let yourself feel it.”

A RASH – LOVING? Rubbish, that wasn’t my image of myself at all, and it took me by surprise. I had made my hostess identify with me by my devious means so that she was caught in all the anger and irritation, and we had wound up in symbiosis, but here she was taking charge and turning the tables on me, and showing me a thing or two.

She showed me that nothing could hurt her, especially not me, because there was something much, much deeper and more powerful inside her than me. I might be lurking in the deep recesses of her body, but she was learning there is MORE to her than her body. I started to feel a chemical change I could no longer fight. It felt like Alchemy, a long forgotten ancient ability of some humans like mine. I lost the control and am fading fast.

She showed me that I am loving, as my very existence and expression on her skin has given her an important message about how she was living her life. Because she sees I was created out of her own choices and I am actually an illusion, she is changing and healing.

If she forgets and chooses the food of irritation and anger I am still trying to feed her, then I have an opening and can spring up again, but it’s weak and ineffectual. If she does not react in an inflammatory way but chooses to actually love me for what I am showing her, then I have no reason for being at all.

Suddenly I realise I have been in a prison, locked into an identity that no longer serves me, and that life of creating pain and havoc and investing in that for sustenance and reward, no longer seems relevant to me. I feel I have been very young, and now I am growing up to realise there is more outside this skin I have created eruptions on, and I no longer look like my old self, in fact sometimes I can make no mark, I am not there at all. This feels like freedom, released to live and dance with all the other particles that make up the Universe. I would never have believed it possible, so entrenched was I in my self-gratifying, addictive existence.

I no longer have a name or an identity. My hostess is no longer giving that to me, and I am passing slowly out of my habitation to a new state of being. It started on the day my hostess first met the practitioner who showed her a new way. It’s taken her a long time to understand it and start living it. She no longer needs me and is becoming lighter; if she keeps on choosing all this for herself, I must loosen my hold and fade away, and so we will move on together. We are not quite there yet, but it is happening now we both know the Truth is always there for us to choose.

From the hostess  … With deep gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon who showed me I am so much more than my physical symptoms, and the many Universal Medicine Practitioners I have worked with these past 8 years.


Read more:

  1. Gentle Breath Meditation Tips for Beginners
  2. Gentle Breath Meditation Introduction 
  3. How do I become a practitioner of esoteric healing? 


743 thoughts on “A skin rash tells its story.

  1. Very beautiful blog with a very powerful message delivered with such grace, humour and wisdom. The moment we embrace what our bodies are showing us including the ailments and illnesses rather than fight them or seek to subdue or suppress them is the moment when true healing starts to happen.

  2. ‘How do you fight something that says “Bring it on, show yourself, let’s see the real you, not just all that irritation and anger, but the you that really wants to come out into the open; the you that is truly loving if you would let yourself feel it.’ You cannot but become love yourself by surrender to what the hostess offered you! How wonderful you have been given a voice by her so we know what happened with you.

  3. Super cool to read Joan and love the perspective you have in detail shared. That identification of our issue is such a huge one and to be able to detach from it is the first stages of being able to heal it. Thank you.

  4. When we are inspired to start listening to our body and its messages and that ailments arise to show us how we have chosen to live and treat our body, it opens up our awareness to start to understand ourselves on a far deeper level, that there is so much more to our being than our physicality and that we are able to transform our health and well-being by aligning to the true wisdom of our body for support in making self-loving choices that respect the whole of our being.

  5. I love re-reading this playful and wise blog – a powerful reminder and inspiration to return to listening to the body and its wisdom constantly on offer, when we are humble enough to listen to it and act upon what is being asked.

  6. I enjoyed reading this take on how you dealt with your skin rash condition Joan. It shows how when we look at our medical conditions in a way that is no longer identifying with them as being us and learn to love that part of us that may have at first felt awful (as in a serious rash) for it is showing us what needs to be healed at some level, we can let go of any victim mentality and really appreciate what our bodies are trying to tell us.

  7. I agree – it is impossible to keep fighting love that keeps telling us that we are love also. We can try very hard, but it sure is hard work.

  8. It’s life changing isn’t it Joan when you realise ‘I am so much more than my physical symptoms’ ..for me it was I am so much more than my pain. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I got to see how I was identifying with my pain and that it was indeed not who I am. Identifying with my pain intensified it, where as when knowing it wasn’t me allowed me to care and support myself with it and for it to heal.

    1. Yes Ruth I know there were times I was totally indentified with my severe headaches and migraines. It made me feel a victim and I had the feeling I could not cope with it. Now it is different, occasionally I have a headache but when I accept how I feel and treat myself lovingly, it still can be there but it has no impact on who I am and most of the times it will vanish.

  9. I love this blog Joan, I had read it a long time ago but it is so beautiful how you have detached from your illness, a very irritating and visible one and how you gave it its voice but at the same time no longer let it have control over you. ‘Because she sees I was created out of her own choices and I am actually an illusion, she is changing and healing.’

    1. My rash is back Annelies but this time I am embracing it from the beginning as it shows me yet again the choices I have been making. I also see it as a deeper layer to be healed coming up from within my body. It has a different presentation this time and is on very specific places in my body that gives me clues as to what is needing to be cleared and healed. It is very itchy and sore and uncomfortable, but hey! that is what I have created from some time way back. The rash is actually a gift, otherwise I would continue to make those choices, they are so ingrained. Becoming aware of them at a deeper level brings the healing.

      1. Wow this is amazing Joan how you have not only embraced the learning but are choosing to see it as a perfectly targeted gift to support you with deeper healing.

  10. Unless we are able to make sense of what really feeds a condition, we will not be able to eradicate it from our body and will never understand why are we having it and what is the message therein being conveyed to us.

  11. What great exposure about the negative form of symbiosis that can occur between body and disease when we choose to identify with symptoms.

  12. When we get wrapped up in emotion, anger, sadness etc we leave our body open to illness and disease, as the body is already overworked and when we live from a point of love first without emotions our body has the opportunity to begin to heal the unloving choices we have previously made.

  13. To consider honestly the emotions that feed our physical symptoms exactly how you have done in this blog Joan is where we need to take our understanding of our body, our health and true medicine. Great blog thankyou.

  14. How love can indeed conquer all and how no matter what we’re presented with in the body, we can approach it as a way to heal, and rather than blame and fight we can un-earth what it is showing us in how we are and how we live.

  15. Joan I love the way in which you bring to life the condition and how amazing the body actually is at showing us what is really going on. If only we listen, in fact when I do its life changing.

  16. As much as this is a wonderful illustration of the true causation and healing of a disease, this is an equally beautiful story of the spirit surrendering to and merging with the soul.

  17. Super clever and profoundly insightful. The alchemy that is possible with love is remarkable… a truth that can be applied to all areas of our lives.

  18. This is one of my favourite blogs, its fun and true. Last time I read it, I joined in and had a ball writing from the prospective of my illness and disease, it was funny and I think we had plans to develop something more with it. I am feeling really inspired again after reading this, what a great children’s book it would make, you could make it funny and educational, there is heaps in this and I am ready to explore, you will be hearing from me, its too good!

  19. A very beautiful understanding of how we truly heal. That what is within must come out. To allow it so and not fight and try to suppress the poison within our body is to be deeply appreciated.

  20. It is great re-reading this playful and powerful story – a great reminder too, that my body is communicating to me if there is a rash appearing on my skin, letting me know that things are being eaten that do not agree with it.

  21. I was amused to read that the medical profession freely admit they do not know what causes Pityriasis Lichenoides. In my experience it is uncommon for the medical profession to actually all agree on what the cause is of any particular ailment and so symptom management is the order of the day. The sooner conventional medicine recognises what esoteric medicine has to offer the better.

  22. Beautiful sample that exposes how Love can support us to understand, embrace and dissolve everything that is not harmonious in our body and life.

  23. I love the playfulness here -writing from the perspective of a skin rash and showing how it is actually loving to have things like this appear – as they are merely a means of communication from our bodies on where we are at.

  24. Joan this blog is brilliant – what a great key to healing you offer with embracing the condition and surrendered to accepting it in full – the miracle and magic has occurred from this.

  25. Such a humourous but very clever blog. By looking at the rash from its own point of view you can truly understand it and also detach from it. I love how you have overcome it and grown to love it over the past 8 years. What a journey.

  26. Joan, so light and very beautiful – I feel the joy of having a rash – odd to say I know, but I can see and feel how every time the body is not honoured, then the rash appears and amazing warning beacon to say stop, not this way. And that we are so much more than our physical body, we are light and no matter what is going on with and in us, it does not take away from who we are, unless we identify with it, so well done from your journey in moving away from identifying with the rash in your body and going underneath to understand what it was showing you.

  27. It is easy to be identified with an ailment and think it is who we are. So I like the humorous way you have written this to put that point across and give it another perspective.

  28. As I let go and allowed myself to feel a glimpse of that which I truly am, it was life changing. I am so much more than what I thought I was before I attended Universal Medicine but it is a commitment to saying ‘Yes’ to the power and grandness within me and ‘No’ to that which is not me in a world that is purposely set up to not support who we truly are.

  29. From the last paragraph the story continues, “From the hostess … With deep gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon who showed me I am so much more than my physical symptoms..” As this as a point, if we are much more than “physical symptoms” we must be much more than a physical body as well. Could everything that goes on with ‘us’ be pointing in a similar direction and telling us a similar thing. More care needs to be taken with our bodies I agree and also more care needs to be taken with everything we are. Remember when the world was flat and then also remember when smoking was considered not bad for your health? Are we seeing the world or believing it’s a certain way, only to arrive at another point and see how ridiculous that thinking was? Then what controls or gives us the thinking? We obviously don’t think for ourselves, otherwise we would have known that. What gives us the thoughts or more still what holds us now at this point only to a physical part or physical life? I could say we need to broaden our thinking, but more so we need to see where our thinking is coming from, because at times it seems to lead us completely in the wrong direction.

  30. ‘She showed me that nothing could hurt her, especially not me, because there was something much, much deeper and more powerful inside her than me.’ What a beautiful way to tell how we are not our illness or disease but that love has the power to make great changes and will heal what holds us back from living this love when we let go of identifying ourselves with our illness.

  31. Irritation and anger, becomes anger and deceit, becomes war. Obvious you might say but this impressed me today and made me realise how easily these feelings/reactions can escalate. Love, as you have shown, is the antidote and The Gentle Breath Meditation can help us connect to love. How amazing it is to teach this in schools and share it whenever we can. Could there one day be a world without wars? It’s possible because everything is possible……

  32. Great blog Joan, we are so much more than our illnesses, they are a by-product of the way we live, and as we change how we live the illness no longer has the same hold or identity it once did.

  33. I loved reading this again today. We are not our illness – no matter how chronic or painful or progressive our illness might be it is not us and never will be. We do not need to give power to it but rather become powerful ourselves by surrendering and reclaiming more of who we truly are.

  34. I had never conceived of being able to release a disease – of having its particles rejoin the natural flow of the universe. What an amazing transformation this represents. We loosen the grip our illness has on us, and it is free to return to the one source, just as we are.

  35. Brilliant and inventive Joan, thank you so much for sharing – and so honestly. We are not our illnesses, it’s true. Resisting that identification can be challenging when they (seemingly) take us over, and so obviously and visually so. Congratulations on your farewelling of Pityriasis Lichenoides.

  36. That’s some appreciation for what sounds like a hideous skin disease! Amazing what’s possible when we’re willing to get beyond the surface!

  37. What you are say is so true Joan as many of us do become so overwhelmed by our disease processes we make it a part of our identification as an individual.

  38. I love this Joan – what a great perspective. It really shows us how we become owned by our disease and start to identify with it until such a time that the suffering gets too much and we realise that there truly is more to us than our body. By bringing this ‘more’ out into the open in a full open-hearted expression, we are able to transmute all that does not match the love that we are, back into this love. It is a very simple alchemy that we as a humanity have ignored for far too long and this is a great and practical example of how it is done, thankyou.

  39. I love the way that this blog has been written from the bug’s perspective, it makes for a great read and it shows us how when we allow ourselves to be harmonious, a disease will struggle to hang on in there. But go into the energy of survival, of fighting the illness and are we then feeding it?

  40. Absolutely amazing blog Joan, thank you so much for sharing it. Reading it I realised I have been fighting a condition I have in the way you used to, going into battle rather than surrendering more deeply into my body and the power within. To turn the tables, step back and observe lovingly and thank it for its messages is definitely the way to go.

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