by Eva-Maria Anja Daniela Förtsch, M.Sc.Klin.Psych., Psychologist, Neuropsychologist, Psychotherapist, University Lecturer, Bochum, Germany
Hello. My name is Eva-Maria. Lovely that you choose to read these lines. If you read this because you have cancer, your life might not be easy right now. Perhaps you are worried, in anxiety, angry, sad or even in desperation. If yes, I am totally with you because I have also gone through that. But also if you don’t have cancer and you are just interested, I would like to invite you to read on and feel into what it might offer to you. In the following I want to share with you my experiences with cancer and how it changed my life and my relationship with my body through a big clearing and healing process.
I was diagnosed with a very dangerous form of skin cancer (melanoma) when I was 28 years old. This diagnosis came all of a sudden, after the removal of a birthmark on my upper back in between my shoulder blades. When I heard the word “cancer”, I was shocked. Panic arose in me and countless thoughts flooded my mind – and not a single one of them helped me to cope with the situation; all of them were full of anxiety. I was frightened of what would happen next, of the cancer spreading in my whole body, of chemotherapy and of dying. I already saw myself in hospital, thin, pale and with no hair, believing that I would not have much time left. The emotions coming up were overwhelming. I had already spent so much time in hospitals and had had so many surgeries in my life. Hospitals were horrifying to me and reminded me of much pain, anxiety, sadness and helplessness. ‘Why again me?’ ‘This was not fair!’ ‘Why can´t I have a healthy body like others at my age?’ These thoughts did not stop and my anxiety grew.
Although I am a successful psychotherapist and well-trained at supporting others in dealing with their difficulties, I had no idea how to cope with this situation.
Choosing to ask for help and support
Because I needed help I called my closest friends and my parents. All of them were shocked and worried. They wanted to help me but they didn’t know what to say or do. I could feel their helplessness and anxiety. This made me even more emotional.
At that time I had been a student of Universal Medicine for about four months and so I decided to ask Serge Benhayon (the founder) and his family for support. Through the e-mails I exchanged with Serge Benhayon I realised that all my panic did not help me at all. Far from it! It made everything much worse and kept me from dealing with this big issue. But, still, I did not manage to get out of it. The upcoming time in the clinic and the surgeries were frightening me too much.
At that time Natalie Benhayon was in Germany and I asked her for a session. This session was huge for me. Within two hours of talking and bodywork I was able to really embody what Serge already offered me in the e-mails. I understood that cancer was my body’s way of clearing harmful energies I had taken on. By that I mean, that I had for years been living in a way that was not very loving, indeed it had been quite abusive and those choices had consequences for my body. All of those choices had been energetically harming for my body and cancer was my body’s way of getting rid of them. I knew that I could now support my body and this process by accepting everything that comes with it, loving my body more and trusting in its deep wisdom.
I suddenly knew that my time in the clinic was given to me to heal my numerous experiences with surgeries, pain, anxiety and helplessness in the past. This time I would not panic, I would stay with myself and my body, and I would get all the support I needed.
Finding true support
And it happened exactly like that. Students (of Universal Medicine) were visiting me every day, supported me with sessions, especially Connective Tissue Therapy, and brought me healthy food that supported my body very much throughout those days. This healed some big issues in my life such as doing everything on my own, never asking for support, not showing that I can be weak and fragile and also my anxiety about being in hospitals healed deeply. It was an amazing feeling to be held in true love by the Benhayons and the students during the whole process. The energy also noticeably influenced the doctors and nurses. They treated me in a very loving and caring way and stayed for a chat with me and other students quite often.
Although the doctors removed a big part of my lymphatic system and therefore expected that it might not be able to compensate after the surgery, that my arms and hands would be swollen and life long lymph drainage would be necessary, my lymphatics never caused any problems like that. After the cancer was all cut out, the doctors put me on a strong medication regime to boost the immune system so that it fights with all its power against any malignant cells left in the blood that could turn to new metastases. They said I would have to have three injections per week for the next one and a half years. After the first few injections I experienced very strong side effects like severe exhaustion, fever, shivering and headaches that made me feel weak and depressed. Therefore I was quite frightened of this medication. To be honest, I hated it. But I kept on taking the medication because my anxiety that the cancer might come back was too big. Some weeks later I was in the UK to attend a course of Universal Medicine even though I felt totally exhausted. The Benhayons supported me with healing sessions, which really helped me, and I rested a lot and strengthened my connection to myself.
Talking to Serge Benhayon about the cancer and my anxiety felt more calming than anything I have experienced before. I came to realise that the cancer is a way of my body showing me choices I have made in the past, and that it offers me a huge possibility to heal important issues. Then I knew deep inside of me that if I am willing to really face these issues and change my life in a way that I truly love and honor my body, come to a stillness within (something I had always avoided) and allow myself to be who I truly am, there would be no reason to be afraid of cancer anymore. Even if I were to die, I would know that my body would have cleared the harmful energies I had taken on.
Accepting and Deepening
I came to the point where I was able to accept everything; even the possibility of dying. I understood that my body had already tried to show me essential issues for so many years and that I have never really listened to it. I have been so absolutely ignorant and tortured my body through loads of work, permanent self criticism, never really going into stillness, being hard, smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs and in many more ways… and nevertheless I expected my body not to cause any health problems and to function in the way I wanted it to; quite blockheaded of me, considering the fact that I have an excellent university degree, wasn’t it? Suddenly all my surgeries of the past began to make sense and I felt that now it’s time to stop all of that disregard and to commit to love in its true essence.
I started to be in my body, instead of just being in my mind, and build up a connection with my body which felt absolutely new and amazing to me, especially that I was more and more able to read what my body was telling me. With the help of Serge Benhayon I was able to see that in terms of Esoteric Medicine it made a lot of sense that my cancer was right between my shoulder blades (wings) and in my lymphatics. Our lymphatics are the physical representation of our Divine “light”, and I have attacked my light during my whole life. Serge then also helped me to understand that it is important that I let my medication in as a support, instead of having the injections and hating them at the same time. This led to a shift of energy and an enormous reduction of the side effects, so that I was able to really live and also work again – with much more stillness and loving choices.
So I learned in a very fascinating way to connect to the deep wisdom of my body and to trust it even though it was very ill. I feel better now than I have ever felt before in and with my body. This huge clearing and healing has been one of the most amazing experiences in my life.
A profound Healing
The cancer has not returned, yet, physical healing is not the purpose of true healing as I understand it now. True healing is much deeper, much more profound and really life-changing. I feel that without this deep understanding and without addressing the root cause of cancer, which is always a certain way of being with oneself and others, it is possible for the cancer to return.
This True Healing is possible for each and every one of us.
No matter which illness or disease we have, we can choose to accept it, to look at what our body shows us and to clear and heal deeply. It is absolutely amazing to have such a chance.
Thank you, Serge Benhayon.
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