by Eva-Maria Anja Daniela Förtsch, M.Sc.Klin.Psych., Psychologist, Neuropsychologist, Psychotherapist, University Lecturer, Bochum, Germany
Hello. My name is Eva-Maria. Lovely that you choose to read these lines. If you read this because you have cancer, your life might not be easy right now. Perhaps you are worried, in anxiety, angry, sad or even in desperation. If yes, I am totally with you because I have also gone through that. But also if you don’t have cancer and you are just interested, I would like to invite you to read on and feel into what it might offer to you. In the following I want to share with you my experiences with cancer and how it changed my life and my relationship with my body through a big clearing and healing process.
The Diagnosis
I was diagnosed with a very dangerous form of skin cancer (melanoma) when I was 28 years old. This diagnosis came all of a sudden, after the removal of a birthmark on my upper back in between my shoulder blades. When I heard the word “cancer”, I was shocked. Panic arose in me and countless thoughts flooded my mind – and not a single one of them helped me to cope with the situation; all of them were full of anxiety. I was frightened of what would happen next, of the cancer spreading in my whole body, of chemotherapy and of dying. I already saw myself in hospital, thin, pale and with no hair, believing that I would not have much time left. The emotions coming up were overwhelming. I had already spent so much time in hospitals and had had so many surgeries in my life. Hospitals were horrifying to me and reminded me of much pain, anxiety, sadness and helplessness. ‘Why again me?’ ‘This was not fair!’ ‘Why can´t I have a healthy body like others at my age?’ These thoughts did not stop and my anxiety grew.
Although I am a successful psychotherapist and well-trained at supporting others in dealing with their difficulties, I had no idea how to cope with this situation. Continue reading “Congratulations! You have Cancer”