Pain and Illness – “You just have to live with it”

by Maree Savins, New South Wales.

Throughout my life there have been many times where I have been ill or in pain, and have gone to the doctor only to be told that: “you just have to live with it”. Sometimes the nature of my illness or medical problem was known within the medical fields and sometimes it was a mystery.

For example, in my late teenage years I suffered from extreme nausea. My General Practitioner (GP) recommended an endoscopy to investigate the nausea and the results showed nothing in particular. My illness was put down to home-sickness as I had moved away from my family home in Northern New South Wales to Queensland. I was told that I “would just have to live with it.

Ten years later I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance by a different GP. By changing to a gluten-free diet, my nausea resolved. This meant, that I didn’t have to live with it.

A further physical problem developed a few years ago, where I experienced regular heart palpitations. It felt like my heart was violently kicking or even turning over in my chest. I lived with the heart palpitations for 12 months before I mentioned it to an esoteric practitioner who suggested I see my GP. Taking that kind of care was not something that I did unless I had too. I was very dismissive about medical care at that time and my level of self-regard was also poor. Self-care became the topic of our sessions for quite a while. We discussed how seeking medical advice was part of self-care, and that it was necessary for me to embrace more loving ways, as for many years I had lived a very stressful and turbulent life.

I saw my GP who referred me to a Cardiologist (heart specialist) who performed numerous tests, which showed that my heart would double beat causing an intense ‘kicking’ or ‘turning over’ sensation. The Cardiologist reassured me that it was OK, and said that I would “need to learn to live with it.” He advised this condition would not shorten my lifespan and, if anything, it would just be an annoyance.

As I continued to develop self-care and more loving ways with the support of esoteric practitioners, I could see that there was a wall of protection I had built up around my heart so that I did not have to feel hurt or rejection from others. Unfortunately when I put up the wall to stop any hurt coming in, I stopped myself from letting love in and out as well. I was not very loving with myself, and I held back expressing my love to others as I did not like the feeling of vulnerability that came with being so open.

It was time for this all to change and my palpitating heart was a great reminder.

As a year or so passed and I learned to become more gentle and live more harmoniously in my day-to-day life, I realised that my heart did not ‘kick’ anymore. If it did ‘kick’ on an occasion, I would immediately look at how I was living and feeling that day. By making different choices, I did not have to learn to live with this condition.

The most recent medical problem occurred in September last year when I was involved in a motor vehicle accident resulting in an injury to my lower back, which also affected my legs. An MRI indicated that I had two bulging discs in my lumbar area. In addition to seeking support from my GP, I visited an esoteric physiotherapist and an esoteric massage therapist.

Several care providers told me that my back was now compromised and that I may never be pain-free. I was told once again by my GP that I would “just have to live with it” but, with a commitment to rehabilitation, I could maybe expect some improvement. Accordingly, I committed lovingly to my rehabilitation program including gentle movement exercises, hydrotherapy, walking, and taking medication to help with the pain.

I had always been able to heal from my ailments in the past – even when I was told that I “just had to live with it – but this time I was not so sure whether this would be my experience.

After an initial shock and perhaps a touch of denial at the news, I began to become more aware of what the pain in my body was teaching me.

Once again I began to look at myself and how I was living. I could feel that I was experiencing a high level of nervous energy in my body that was quite apparent as I lay down to sleep. I could easily sleep 12-13 hours per day if I could get it, and was barely able to function on 10 hours. Over the preceding five years of attending Universal Medicine events and receiving support from numerous practitioners, life had become more lovely and simple, and yet the nervous energy continued.

When I looked a little deeper I saw that I was running away from how I was feeling inside. I didn’t like feeling the nervous energy, so typically I kept myself racy and distracted by what the world offered with study, work, projects and stress. I treated each day as something I had to ‘get through’ – however this wasn’t living life joyfully, this was a giant checklist of tasks that I had to tick off with a false belief that then it would all be better. As new tasks were added to the list, I felt panicked and made myself live and work faster in order to get to the place where I could feel ‘better’. Of course this only served to increase the nervous energy. I could also sense that I was carrying an un-dealt with sadness and I didn’t like feeling this either.

Nowadays, not a single day or hour or moment goes by without the pain reminding me to take more time and re-connect to my body – the very thing that I have struggled with my whole life. And yet what I have found is that re-connecting to my body was a real key to reducing and dealing with this uncomfortable nervous energy.

My body has become my number one priority. Pain talks very loudly and I do now listen.

My back injury ensures that I now move with care and consideration, that I make myself comfortable in my seat, that I honour the need to stand, that I ask for help to lift heavy things and that I learn to say “No”. Indeed, this injury has become an amazing blessing – one which perhaps I needed to correct the way I was living, in order to learn to care for myself more deeply than ever before.

In this instance, it may be true that I will need to learn to live with the pain. I have come to accept this, but at the same time I feel open to allowing the future to unfold as it will.

I am not driven to beat the odds and return to all that I used to do before the accident, as is often the case when we beat an illness or recover from an injury. In fact, even though I experience varying levels of pain throughout the day, I am enjoying the changes that I have made to my daily routine and in how I feel inside as I live each day.

I have learned to value what conventional medicine provides, as clearly it has supported me to detect, understand and recover from the physical side of my medical issues. Whilst I now turn to medicine more willingly than ever before, I have experienced how this can be supported by esoteric medicine, which for me is to explore what is happening on a deeper energetic level and to look at how I am living, including the choices I am making.

By combining conventional medicine with esoteric medicine, I became more responsible and realised that there was much that I could do to support my own healing. In fact, the healing experience was far more loving, supportive and powerful. I clearly see that what I do and how I choose to move and live each day really does matter.

Sometimes it takes an illness, disease, injury or pain to bring us to a halt, so that we stop the pattern of recreating our own disharmony.   I have learned that if we listen to our body, it shows us a way to truly live.

1,081 thoughts on “Pain and Illness – “You just have to live with it”

  1. Serge Benhayon presented the possibility that physical pain is the expression of an already existing ‘inner’ pain, ie an emotional disharmony the body at some point starts to bring out as a clearing as well as raising our attention to become more aware of what we have carried for quite a while without giving it the necessary and healing care. With physical pain we may feel somehow helpless and need the support of a doctor or some medicine, but with the inner pain we can have and or develop an intimate relationship and hence healing the underlying root cause. This is very empowering and helps to accept and deal with the physical ailment in a very different way.

    1. Hi Alex, what you have said here turns so many of the modern approaches to medicine on their head, but also you refer to the ancient way that medicine used to be applied to the body, with Plato encouraging scholars and the like to consider the whole person and every aspect of their life when treating any one illness or disease.

    2. I agree Alex and inner pain is the one we’re often reluctant to connect to in the intimate way you suggest. Esoteric practitioners are adept at supporting clients look beyond external symptoms of illness
      and invite them to ask more searching questions of themselves.

  2. It is amazing to see the choices we make has on our body, ‘By making different choices, I did not have to learn to live with this condition.’

  3. Your wise words ‘Whilst I now turn to medicine more willingly than ever before, I have experienced how this can be supported by esoteric medicine, which for me is to explore what is happening on a deeper energetic level and to look at how I am living, including the choices I am making.’ When we look at our illness from a deeper energetic level it reveals a lot more than the illness itself, and gives us an opportunity to make different choices.

  4. In a way it is a blessing that the medical profession cannot always take our pains away, and tell us we have to live with it – although annoying at the time, the pain does get us to look at the relationship we have with our bodies and it certainly slows us down. The rest is up to us, as in do we begrudge the body and blame it for the malfunction or do we take this opportunity to grow and learn from the messages the body is giving us.

  5. I can totally relate to your giant check list of tasks that you set yourself up to complete by the end of the day -and how we use this check list to determine whether or not it’s been a good or bad day, and how we feel about ourselves. But this is so far away from living joyfully, and from the simple appreciation of who we are and not what we do. Switching the focus to the quality of what we’re doing and appreciating that, and how we are in each moment, instead of how many tasks and what we manage to tick off the to do list, is what supports us to start to let go of our grip on the to do list. Appreciation and acceptance, and paying attention to what our body is telling us, builds a foundation from where we can make changes.

  6. Could the reason we fill our lives with distractions, work, family and friends be because we don’t like what we’re feeling inside? It wasn’t until I stopped to consider this a few years ago that I actually noticed for the first time the amount of nervous energy I was living in and with: there was no way I wanted to stop and feel this. By making changes to my life, this has now reduced considerably. There are still things that I’d rather not feel, but by taking better care of myself, and by enjoying what it feels like to be me without all the distractions all of the time, I’m slowly becoming more open to feeling and being aware of more that goes on within and around me.

  7. It is inspiring to feel your commitment to building self-care Maree and how you reduced your physical symptoms through your dedication to being more loving and gentle with yourself and the way to make different choices by feeling from your body what felt truly supportive. The results speak for themselves.

  8. Letting go of nervous energy through connecting more deeply with our body, is key to creating a steadiness within that becomes a strong foundation to support us in our day to day living.

    1. This has been a big marker for me. The constant tension that was felt under the skin with everyday activities and the expectations to keep pushing myself through. The key to connecting to the whole body and staying present as best I can has been a great tool that has removed the tension at a steady and loving rate out of my body.

    1. I agree Simon. I always remember with deep appreciation the young doctor that asked me during a consultation ‘ what’s been happening in your life that may have caused this?’.

  9. Doctors should be cautioned not to tell patients ‘you will just have to live with it’ as the effect can be very damaging. Hearing these words could easily lead someone to believe there’s nothing more they can do about an illness and continue as before without ever looking deeper to understand why the condition existed in the first place. Fortunately, there are others like you Maree willing to go deeper ask questions and seek answers. True healing is an evolving conversation with ourselves about how we’re living.

  10. I too have experienced pain in my life that no one could fully explain and nor could they say if it would be permanent or not.
    At the time it was a huge stop moment and my life took a very different turn from the experience. It was pivotal in that I felt I had something to do in life to give back to the world. In essence it was the point where I committed to my life. Like you Maree, I know such experiences always mean more than we can initially see, yet don’t truly appreciate until we have lived them.

  11. “Sometimes it takes an illness, disease, injury or pain to bring us to a halt, so that we stop the pattern of recreating our own disharmony. I have learned that if we listen to our body, it shows us a way to truly live.” Waking up to the fact that my body was trying to give me messages about how I was living was a wake-up call for me. However it wasn’t until I was in my fifties that I came across Universal Medicine and learned this fact and listened and responded to what my body was telling me loud and clear. Why is it we aren’t taught this from day one?

  12. Every week I talk to people who say to me, “I will just have to live with it”, “that’s life” and similar other possible epitaphs. They only have one track they go down. I am ill so I need to be fixed, the doctors say they can’t do anything, so that is it, the end of the road and now I have to live with it. Never once have any of them said to me, so perhaps I can change something that will make a difference to my condition.

  13. PS: neither have I heard anyone taking any responsibility for their condition. My feeling is that the medical profession don’t do enough to express that we are responsible for our own illness. I know it is a tricky and very sensitive area and no one who has cancer wants to hear that it might be because of the way that they were living, but there must be a way to start getting this awareness to patients with love and sensitivity.

  14. GPs play an important role in healthcare but can never be more important than our own discernment. When I was sick I was advised not to buy into too much of what I read online, as I went searching for answers to what would support me back to good health. And I understood where this advice came from, as if you didn’t discern you could get lost in all the information. Yet, without searching I would never have made the discoveries I did, with mistakes along the way, but a real empowerment that I was taking back my health and understanding more and more about what my body needed to function as it so naturally can.

  15. There are no doubt many things we think or are told we ‘just have to live with’, from bodily aches to corruption to bad hair days. But every detail or event or status quo is worthy of examination and pondering as to what is going on behind the scenes at the energetic level… what it is saying about us and our world. As Serge Benhayon has presented, ‘Everything is everything, and nothing is nothing’.

  16. With the support of Esoteric Medicine I’ve found that every physical aliment has an energetic counterpart or origins. Deal with this part and often the physical condition is not as burdened, heavy or emotionally related to. It doesn’t make the illness go away but it’s a huge part of the healing process to deal with the energetic side of life.

  17. Maree, I was struck reading your blog, that ‘having to just live with it’ does not just apply to illness, it applies also to how we live, and the way we approach life. However when we get stops or corrections we can take the opportunity to look at life another way and take the signals we are shown from our body as a gauge to check in and see how we are, and then further to feel how we are in all we do, the quality we bring, and that can change everything as you show. Our bodies really are remarkable markers for us.

  18. Sometimes we ‘just live with it’ as self-punishment for having to live with it in the first place! We can instead choose to LEARN from the re-calibration and blank canvas our body is offering through illness and disease, neither are ever designed to be a punishment.

  19. A different way to look at pain and illness and one we all need to be aware of. I know for me at times there is a blind disregard for the pain my body is in, often settling for management to get through the day. There always seems to be a focus on a short term fix or short term solution which almost says the pain turned up out of the blue today and we want to get rid of it as quick as we can. We very rarely look deeper at what is going on or why things are like they are for us. There a different levels to this, deeper levels of care or awareness we can always take. So I may say I go to see the doctor every year for a check up which is great and very supportive but then what’s next? It’s not about resting on one part or ticking a box and hope for the best it’s more about consistently bringing more care to what you are doing, whatever that is. Whether it’s signing a contract, driving a car or brushing your teeth it’s all important.

  20. I had the opportunity to speak to a medical student this week. I asked about how students cared for themselves and if it was an integral part of the course. She said no. The shocking thing she shared was that when she goes to the doctors she is often told that because she is a medical student, she is probably paranoid about her symptoms since she is a student doctor and knows too much. She also shared that its common for doctors to die of preventable diseases as they think they can self diagnose and don’t seek medical help soon enough.

  21. Yes I was told, when I was young, that my back was so bad that I would never work and just had to live with that …. Now that was a major piece of dis-information!

  22. In reading your article I can see more clearly ways I have masked my nervous energy, really knowing it to be there but not wanting to feel it, to the point that then I would deny its existence. Understandable perhaps but in no way supportive of changing the situation. Fortunately with the presentations of Universal Medicine, especially the Retreats, I am becoming much more aware of the truth of my body and thus the opportunity to change old behaviours that have become ingrained methods to keep me away from my true feelings and thus in the eternal merry go round of nervous and other harmful energy.

  23. Perhaps health professionals instead of saying ‘you just have to live with it’ should be saying ‘ you can live without it’, meaning that there must be something in the way we are living that has contributed to the condition in the body and this can be changed by choosing to live in a different way.

  24. “Sometimes it takes an illness, disease, injury or pain to bring us to a halt, so that we stop the pattern of recreating our own disharmony. I have learned that if we listen to our body, it shows us a way to truly live.” If children were taught this from birth by example what a change there would be in the health of humanity.

  25. ‘You just have to live with it’ can also be translated into ‘shrug off any responsibility and carry on with a lacklustre quality of life’. It’s an acceptance of abuse – making it part of your normal every day. To just have to live with that is nothing less than a curse.

  26. ‘By combining conventional medicine with esoteric medicine, I became more responsible and realised that there was much that I could do to support my own healing.’ When we stop and listen to our body, we are able to make choices that support our body rather than adding to its limitation when we carry on regardless of what our body is trying to convey to us.

  27. What I’m feeling from this is that we either ” need to learn to live with it” by resigning ourselves to the pain, condition or whatever it may be – to give up in a sense and think that we can do nothing about it, or we can do as Maree has done and “learn to live with it” by welcoming it as a reflection and healing from our body, which only ever loves us unconditionally and works tirelessly to bring us back to true harmony within.

  28. Being willing to look at how we are living and be more gentle and tender with ourselves enables our whole body to drop the wall of protection we build around our heart and to deepen our awareness and sensitivity of our true quality. When we develop a loving relationship with our body we are able to initiate true change with our vitality and health and appreciate how much our body truly supports us to be able to consistently live from our innately harmonious and loving way of being.

  29. To ‘need to learn to live with it’ can mean two options, the first to carry on the way we have been living and ignore what the body is offering or we can listen to the body and make changes and observe what happens – the choice is in our hands as to what we choose and not in the hands of another.

  30. I have noticed lately how when people are seriously ill or have broken their bodies in one way or another, they all come out with the same statements which are not true. “That’s life” is a big one. “I’ve just got to live with it” is another. They tend to come with a big shrug. There is both a given-upness in these phrases and also no taking of responsibility.

    1. What I have noticed also Doug is how we automatically assume that there is nothing that can be done about some health conditions. I know this from personal experience, as one day whilst attending an Esoteric Healing session the practitioner said ‘Why don’t you try this…’, and then it occurred to me that I had assigned my own belief of ‘I’ve just got to live with it”, and suffered unnecessarily.

      1. So true Julie. I had exactly this with the atrial fibrillation heart issues I had. The consultant I was seeing advocated drugs for life to attempt to control it which, when they made it worse, he agreed that I just live with it without drugs. I discovered that there was a potential fix from a doctor friend and since the procedure I have had no issues for 4 years.

  31. The combination of esoteric medicine and conventional medicine offers a path of healing that comes from within the innate intelligence of the body. How we live certainly does affect our health.

  32. “I treated each day as something I had to ‘get through’ – however this wasn’t living life joyfully, this was a giant checklist of tasks that I had to tick off with a false belief that then it would all be better. ” I am sure so many of us can relate to this, to the fact that for me I certainly went through life hoping somehow things would be great if i ticked off my list. I was on the biggest roller coaster I had experienced before.

  33. It is quite amazing that you have suffered from such a painful accident but there is not an ounce of victim in you. There is also no hopeful or desperate energy either. What I feel from this blog is a woman that is willing to listen to what her body is communicating. A woman that is able to appreciate the detail of the message the body is delivering and that is forever open to things shifting and changing and unfolding, as long as they continue to serve the greater picture and that is making sure the quality in which you move and live is a reflection that all others have access to.

  34. I love that you have exposed that we sometimes need to be stopped by something to halt, expose and then offer an opportunity to alter a pattern of self abuse or disharmony. It is a gift that in then listening to our bodies, we can be guided to amazing healings or at the very least a more deeply and loving way of living.

  35. In developing and deepening self-care and self-love you were able to listen to your body and be open and willing to understand what it was communicating to look more attentively at the way you were living and initiate true change as you developed a more loving relationship with yourself.

  36. We often go to the doctor to seek relief. Yes we need support with our body to heal, but if we are only seeking relief we can miss out on a much greater teaching from the body.

  37. Often when we feel pain, we try to ignore it in the hope that it will go away, or distract ourselves by eating something that dulls our awareness, the truth is the pain is actually asking us to stop, to change the choices that we have been making because they are not supporting us. A great little alarm bell, that’s asking us to take a moment and listen to what our body has to say.

  38. It’s great when you read a story like this because it shows that not everything is as it seems, at least from the point of view from conventional medicine, and that there is more that they and we can learn about medicine if we take a closer look at our own choices.

  39. “I began to become more aware of what the pain in my body was teaching me.” Learning to listen to the loving messages from our body becomes a way of living.

  40. How grand a day will it be when we merge modern medicine with complementary medicine and bring in the whole body and lifestyle to get a true picture of why we have what we have.

  41. ” I have learned that if we listen to our body, it shows us a way to truly live. ” This is so true for our body is constantly making us aware if we are in any disharmony.

  42. This makes me wonder what I have learnt to live with and since adopted as my ‘normal’, now not even recognising what it truly is like to be without. I know I have been letting them go a little by little, but there’s so much more to be let go.

  43. A very common experience of doctors is that many people get better by themselves and when they don’t have an intervention or lifestyle change to recommend, all they can say is to wait, especially if they don’t have a clear diagnosis. That can be extremely frustrating but it may simply mean that medicine has no specific answer to this issue.

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