574 thoughts on “My First Hospital Experience”

1. One of the things I appreciate about doctors and professionals involved with medicine is the lack of judgement. For them it’s a normal day to meet many people with health issues and although that’s what they deal with in the consult they meet me as a person, and embrace me without any judgement. There is a lot to appreciate about the qualities of the people who have dedicated their lives to assisting others.

2. True ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves’. I recently learnt how ignoring something is not a good idea when not tending to a small mouth ulcer which because of this turned into a huge one that affected me for a week. This was a lesson to put my health and wellbeing first and take tender care of me as if we don’t then it affects everything else in our life.

3. I hate how we treat each other with such disrespect and I hate how the Hospital staff especially are treated when they are trying their best to support patients to get well enough to return to their homes. I watch how nurses and other staff are around patients and they seem to have endless amounts of understanding even though they are over stretched by the work load. They never cease to amaze me every time I have the privileged to be around them.

   1. I find the medical professionals and their staff (reception, etc) really enjoy being appreciated, as well as time for a short chat where they are genuinely connected to. They are all so genuinely caring and so dedicated to the level of knowledge and skill they need, and when they receive an appreciation it’s a lovely acknowledgment of who they are and a confirmation of what they bring and it’s impact on their patients.

4. It wasn’t until I came to Universal Medicine workshops that I began to consider how important medical care was, I only went to the doctor, and begrudgingly if I had to, as I was wrapped up in fears of something being wrong, and compelled to try to deal with my health on my own and with natural therapies and herbs. Serge presented the common sense of medical care as part of self care, and how dedicated and skilled professionals were like surgeons. It was so common sense it changed my perspective and I now allow myself regular medical support. In addition I now have a deep appreciation for doctors and other professionals within medicine, they have felt that they wanted to care for other human beings and I feel that when I am with them, as well as their dedication to learn what they need to so they can provide me with the level of care I receive.

5. I have been a health professional for over two decades now and would love more and more patients with the attitude you held, “It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place”.
   If more people took responsibility in caring for their bodies, this world would be a different place. The health system, whether GP practice, hospitals etc, will not be at breaking point, and more patients will be seen with different mind set. True healing could really occur.

6. It is interesting what happens when we are brought to a standstill, due to severe pain or an accident and end up in hospital. My very first hospital stay was after being hit by a car crossing the road- I was not consciously present and didn’t see the car coming before it was too late. I was studying nursing at the time. I was quite controlling and didn’t always trust the nursing staff in my care. It was certainly an opportunity to surrender and be vulnerable and let others in.

7. We lose out on so much and create complication when we do not surrender to the support that is there waiting for us any time we choose to ask for it. So why do we not ask? Is it because we are afraid we will not get what we want and don’t want to be disappointed, therefore to deny ourselves is somehow ‘safer?’

8. Love how life is always presenting us with situations from which we can grow, evolve, learn and ultimately love ourselves and others more.

9. A stay in hospital is an opportunity to surrender allowing our body to heal and to appreciate the care offered by all the medical and nursing team.

   1. Mary I’d like to add, not only a stay in hospital allows the body to heal but any sickness/illness is an opportunity to spend time with you.

10. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves” – this is so true. And we set out to prove that we do not deserve to be given what we should be given aplenty.

11. When we are super vulnerable, such as moments when we are sick and need help it is an awesome opportunity to learn to let people in more and also see how amazing human beings are and that we are never actually in this alone – life can only be perceived this way.

12. How freeing it is to finally surrender to what our body communicates to us, and how much understanding we can find in this simple choice…

13. If anyone we knew was in pain we would insist that they go to the doctors yet when it is us we try to override the pain, because we think we are able to manage however all we are doing is prolonging the visit to the doctor and increasing the pain.

14. RB, there were so many areas of healing experienced other than for the back pain. Hospital can definitely be a humbling experience, we often don’t want to be there and it can feel like an enforced stop, but there is much on offer in terms of healing (beyond the physical) including letting ourselves by cared for, and seeing the beauty that humanity can be in the care brought by doctors, nurses and hospital staff.

15. Today I do find it much easier to let people in and care for me when I am not well; it is when I thought I was physically well that I have tended to struggle taking on too much and thinking I could manage when asking for help even a little would have supported me enormously.

    1. Thanks Caroline for your comment, I felt quite uncomfortable reading it, which I appreciate, because this is still an area I need to look at and grow more in – letting people in to support me and allowing myself to be vulnerable with others.

       1. Melinda I had the same experience while reading Caroline’s comment as I also have a tendency to struggle rather than ask for help. Recently I did ask for support and it was given whole heartedly I felt such warmth with no judgement what so ever which allowed me to let go of the tension I was in and just surrender knowing I didn’t have to solider on as I have done in the past on my own. Such an amazing and confirming experience.

       2. Hi Mary, thanks for your comment, I find it’s an ongoing cycle for me to dip back into old patterns of soldiering on and not sharing with others where I am at and what my needs are, but I recently completely opened up to someone about how I felt and the lack of support I was experiencing – and my role in that also. It was the most settling experience just to genuinely express, without reaction but with an openness to be real and lovingly understandIng of myself and the other person. I can see I have been in a generational behaviour of not speaking up about what I am experiencing and my needs, and resigning myself to take care of others or just be there to ‘do the listening‘. Lovely to experience the open and honest sharing here also, thank you.

16. It is interesting how, as adults we would rarely ever expect our children to push through pain, and yet we do this to ourselves a lot of the time.

    1. Sadly I think this is true when they are very little but as they get older we can expect our children to push through because we push through and we think we are preparing them for living as an adult in the world.

17. What a beautiful healing for your body and your soul. Thank you for sharing.

18. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves” – that is exactly what I have been feeling lately. We want love so badly but we don’t give it to ourselves and expect the world and others to deliver and forget that we ourselves are the world and “others” in others’ life. So if I am not living the love that I am, not much chance of me finding it, is there.

19. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” I love this. I was last in hospital about three years ago. Despite having been a nurse, I was blown away by the kindness and caring of all the staff, from cleaners to ward sisters. Learning to let go and accept how things are, in addition to letting people in – a big learning for me back then.

    1. Love this heartfelt appreciation for the hard work and dedication of all those who serve in our hospitals.

20. “… I am used to not caring fully for my body, to over-riding the signals it gives me and most of all, to pushing on through.” How many of us do this on a daily basis? learning to listen to our body and then act on its messages is an important part of self-care and loving oneself. How many people don’t keep themselves hydrated on a daily basis, but wait til they are really thirsty? Also how many don’t go to the loo when they first feel the inclination? If we are sick, does it really serve to keep working and maybe infecting our work colleagues? We would support others in such a situation. Why don’t we do this for ourselves? Maybe we need to up our love….

21. It is interesting how even when a friend tells us we should make a doctors appointment we convince ourselves we are fine, or it can wait and yet we have a body that is screaming at us to stop and get some much needed assistance and instead we wait until we cannot stand the pain any longer, we would save ourselves so much trouble if we honoured our body at the start.

22. Being in hospital is actually a great opportunity to let go and know that other people will support you and help you – I love how you made it about connecting with other people, especially the nurses and doctors, to me that just shows that even though we sometimes think we’re in this alone, that isn’t actually true and there are always amazing people there to help us.

23. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” So true RB. Supporting ourselves responsibly first is so important – and this includes reaching out to others when it is needed. How we treat ourselves is often then reflected back to us in how others treat us – and how we first treat them too of course.

24. It is beautiful RB that you chose to surrender in this situation and to allow others to help you, too often we feel we need to soldier on in life and never rely on another’s support, to honour our vulnerability and delicateness, no matter what the situation is, is a very loving and self-caring choice that benefits us immensely.

25. There is always a price to pay for not listening to our body. And just like an overdue loan it gets more costly the more we ignore it’s wise messages. Thank goodness it is so welcoming and none judgemental when we do finally decide to pay.

    1. So true Joshua, the body doesn’t say “I told you so” like we perhaps would, it simply completes the correction it had started and brings the body back into balance as best it can given the additional complication of delay.

26. ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ When we begin to turn this around and start to honour our feelings and be the change that we want to see our relationship with ourselves changes and we all benefit. It really does all start with the quality we bring to ourselves.

27. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves” – so true. And when others don’t give what we have expected, there’s disappointment/frustration/anger/sadness… all kinds of reactions we can indulge into. It clearly is a set-up.

28. “I chose to abuse my body by not going to doctors and getting support over the years, instead choosing to be in pain and suffer” – me too. In saying ‘no’ to conventional medicine, I arrogantly used to think that I was being savvy and taking better care of myself somehow while my body kept suffering the negligence I was actually subjecting it to.

29. It’s unbelievable that we would choose pain, over lovingly supporting ourselves when we do not feel well, to override the body’s signals and think we can mask or get away with painkillers in the belief that the pain will disappear. We need to realise that it is actually a signal to stop and take stock of the choices that we have been making, and to be honest in our lack of responsibility, and not expecting someone to fix us.

30. The ripples of disrespecting our bodies are felt by all but particularly the nursing staff that have to care for the patients who are expecting to be ‘fixed’. When was it deemed acceptable to abdicate responsibility for our own health and abuse those who attempt to support any resulting treatment? It feels like there should be a code of conduct for hospital patients and consequences if this is not followed. Obviously it would be much better if people chose to take better care of themselves in the first place but in the meantime it needs to be clear that unacceptable and disrespectful behaviour will not be tolerated.

    1. A code of conduct for hospital patients a brilliant idea. We’re at a point where the health system is getting more and more out of control as we abdicate our responsibility more and more, a code of conduct that called us to greater responsibility with our own healthcare would be amazing to have in place.

31. ‘It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’ True, how easy it is to ignore the signals and to then feel the victim of what the body had to tell us in a more ‘tough’ way. How easy to blame others and not acknowledge the disregard you have chosen yourself in the first place.

32. I have always found the staff in hospitals more than supportive and it seems to me that if we are open with others then they are more willing to be open with us, and it makes absolutely no sense to abuse someone who is trying to help, even if we are grumpy from being in pain.

33. How often do we breach the limits our body is telling us it has reached?

34. Sometimes it takes a spell in Hospital for us to appreciate what we have and what our bodies do for us. Our bodies are continually asking us to treat them with more respect and as we treat ourselves with more respect so too can we naturally respect and be considerate of others.

35. Life is so much simpler when we stop resisting and go with what’s there to support us, be it listening to our bodies, or letting love in.

    1. And speaking of support, it’s interesting that it was your back that was in pain RB – a big source of support for us at the physical level.

36. I agree RB, there is no excuse to be rude or short with people that are caring for you. It is great that you were able to surrender and get the support from the hospital and the staff. I think that many people demand of others what they have refused to give to themselves and therefore there is more pressure on others to deliver this for them.

37. Sometimes we do not know the blessing we are missing from not letting people in or allowing them to support us when we need them. Resisting the opportunity to trust and surrender to that only denies ourselves the beauty and potential healing that true care between people can bring.

38. Yes we created a world where it is more and more ‘normal’ to be rude to each other even though it is not normal at all. It seems normal because it is common yet this does not mean it is our natural way of being with each other and it is important to claim that for ourselves and in how we are with other people.

39. Beautiful, even the worst situations can be an amazing opportunity to be more open, more caring and to love people more.

40. So often we can feel that we need to go it alone when it comes to needing to have procedures to support our healing. Thank you for sharing how the willingness to surrender gives an even deeper level of healing that allows more to come through in the quality we offer others in the long run.

41. It is crazy how we have generated a culture that champions our ability to withstand pain, override what our bodies tell us to the point that we currently deem this as a sign of strength, and disregarding ourselves is ‘cool’. Clearly this is not serving us well, in any way. We only seem to listen to our bodies when we are broken, unable to continue in the momentum we are in, and are physically forced to stop. Yet all the while our bodies are calling for us to listen, to connect to a greater intelligence that will without a doubt guide us to know what true fulfillment is, and how we can support ourselves to live it.

42. A visit to hospital that offered a healing; a healing with conventional medicine complemented with esoteric medicine of learning to let people in and appreciating that how we treat others is reflected in how they are with us.

43. It is revealing how much we try to make everything fit to the choice of life we made which, most would say that represents them well. In that path, we do anything to avoid disturbing it, even if we are clearly disturbed by what is going on. What this makes clear, is how deep we know what is the real problem: the choice of life we identify with and we do not wish to disturb.

44. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” Yes I have also found that in life. That we have a tendency to provide for others, then don’t do so for ourselves. In fact we go one step further and don’t create a solid foundation for ourselves, but in giving giving giving to others, creates a vacuum and emptiness inside, that can never be filled by giving to others and expecting something in return. We have to build, connect and love from within first, then from there provide for others.

45. We definitely have a responsibility to ourselves and other in regards to looking after ourselves, when we have the attitude that we need to be fixed, we haven’t taken responsibility for what choices we made in the first place to end up where we are.

46. Letting people in and allowing others to support us, why do we so fight this natural way of living as a community? I, for one am just beginning to tentatively allow others to support me, yet I feel the constant pull to support others, so why is it that I think I don’t deserve the equal support, from myself and others? Very pertinent questions that highlight how hardened our bodies become when stop the natural flow of love.

47. ‘In hindsight, if I had actually stopped and felt the pain I was in, I should have been to see a doctor or gone to the hospital earlier but I am used to not caring fully for my body, to over-riding the signals it gives me and most of all, to pushing on through.’

    Yes, I can relate. I’ve spent much of my adult life in this place. It took me close to two years to see a doctor about the extreme fatigue and collection of random symptoms I was experiencing. Mind you, it and they, were slow on-set so I lost sight of what was my regular state of health and vitality. However that I accepted a lesser state as normal is interesting. Like you RB, I was used to pushing through and past… until I couldn’t anymore. It seems to take most of us to hit rock bottom before we take care of ourselves. And even then, the lesson can be skipped in the haste to ‘return to normal’ – to the way it was before.

48. ‘I watched how some of the other patients treated these nurses and doctors with such disrespect.’ This same disrespect occurs in restaurants and retail settings wherever customers presume themselves to be ‘above’ those who are serving them, or consider the staff as somehow dispensable, or convenient recipients of their agitation if they’re stressed or tense. This is perhaps backed by the ‘customer is king’ maxim – but this is a falsity, for we are all equals: we are all kings. Purchasing a service does not give one person the right to abuse another.

49. If we develop a serious illness or physical condition that requires medical attention, we may come to the awareness that we are responsible for getting ourselves into that situation, but that does not mean we have to be hard on ourselves and not allow others to help us when it’s needed. I’m learning that I have a choice to feel ashamed of having got myself into such a mess, or I can take responsibility for myself by surrendering into the love and healing being offered by my body which in turns supports me to let in the love and support of others. The first does not allow any healing at all, the second allows the healing to be unlimited. It’s our choice.

50. It is crazy how so many of us have grown up, with putting up with pain and ignoring the signs that something is wrong. We keep pushing through life, until our body says enough and puts a stop. Only then we stop to notice how we have been living. Why do we have to go this far, why do we have to wait for an illness or dis-ease or even and accident to stop?

51. It always amuses me (although it is not funny really) when people who are in the business of health care can afford such little care to their own bodies and their own health. I can put my hand up being the same when I was a complementary health practitioner, I had an anti-medication and traditional medicine attitude and was proud of my stoic attitude. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I am far more caring of my body and much more welcoming of support from all areas.

52. I love the line “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves”. Perhaps when we direct our fury at them for not meeting our expectations it is our own self-fury for not having met ourselves with love.

    1. I agree Nikki. I am discovering more and more that the quality of relationship that I share with others is a direct reflection of the relationship, the degree of love, care and honor, I hold for myself. We so often know why we are unwell but don’t like to admit it, hence why we turn away from accepting responsibility and turn to blame another, or anything else instead.

53. This blog makes me smile because it actually doesn’t go into the fact that you had an issue that landed you in hospital for 3 days – there is no drama – just a sharing of how we behave when we are in pain. There is so much we can learn from this blog – as I clearly am!

54. Hospital is a great place to observe and feel the truth in that old saying what you put out you get back.

55. This is so true. If we don’t care for ourselves it is hard for us to allow others to care for us. We will always shut them out. I love your observations.

56. The lengths we allow things to go to before we seek support or treatment are at times extreme. It wouldn’t be cause for us to ask why if so many of us weren’t similar in this way. Why do we deny or ignore what is right in front of us at times? I mean what can be running you if you are choosing to run yourself like this? This isn’t just a question for the author but a more personal question to me and all of us. Even if we know someone that is having trouble with their body or themselves, how are we with them? Are we forcing them to see a doctor or ignoring them or are we supporting them to see that there is something else going on. We often think all our thoughts are our own when at times it is clear there is another part at play. I mean who in their right mind would choose to hurt themselves or be in extended pain, it just doesn’t make sense.

57. In the past I did not trust doctors or medication and my experience of visiting doctors was not great – they seemed cold, distant, patronising. I started seeing the value of conventional medicine when I met Serge Benhayon and now I see doctors and medication as a wonderful support when my body needs it. Interestingly my experience of medical people has also changed now – they all seem helpful, attentive hard working and very caring!

58. I used to really disliked visiting doctors because of a dependency I felt I had with them, wanting them to fix me for poor lifestyle choices that I made. So I spent many years completely rejecting doctors and decided in arrogance that I don’t need them. It has taken a whole new transformation to come back to appreciate our medical system and the awareness of my body, and that conventional medicine complements body wisdom. When I need to see a doctor now, there is no more fear but a warm welcome to understand myself more and to receive support with medicine.

59. You make a point here that I hadn’t picked up on – we abuse our bodies and then we abuse the people who help us fix our bodies because we are in so much pain. Looking at it now, and in that way, it is such an abdication, once again, of taking responsibility for our choices and behaviour.

60. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” How true this is in all relationships, whether it’s our partner, friend, family, or doctor, and how freeing it is to take that responsibility for ourselves.

61. We have a responsibility to ourselves, after all it’s in our best interest to look after our own body, as it’s the only one we have in this life time. But how often do we deny the messages and avoid feeling, and facing up to the reality that we are not living, loving and supporting our body.

62. I love how you are letting people in and trusting them, allowing their help and support, ‘In the past I have found it hard to trust people, but on this occasion I let go of all that, and the result was so beautiful.’

63. What a beautiful, healing learning Rosie

64. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” If we stay open and loving, most people around us feel that and respond in kind. My hospital experience last year opened my eyes to how it can be. Everyone from the consultants to the cleaners cared for me so lovingly it felt amazing.

65. If we abuse ourselves by overriding the signals that our body is giving us then it follows that abusing others is all too often the other side of this equation. Similarly, if we love ourselves by deeply honouring what the body is telling us, we are in a far better position to also love and honour others. What is beautiful about what you have shared here RB is that this moment for you seems to have marked the turning point from a life of abuse back into the arms of love. Learning to surrender the fight is key in our journey home to the love within our hearts. This means re-learning how to love and care for ourselves so that we are more open (far less protected) to love and care for others. In this way we help each other arise out of the love-less momentum the vast majority of us have been caught up in for so long. We are not bad people when we abuse others, we are just hurting very deeply from not expressing the love we so naturally are.

66. Boy oh boy RB, you sure learnt an awful lot from your first hospital experience. Very inspiring and beautifully shared.

67. If we are not respectful and caring to ourselves we will not have true respect and care to offer others.

68. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” Perhaps this should be written as a prescription to all those who find themselves in hospital and mistreat the medical staff who are caring for them.

69. I am glad you noticed the way others unfortunately take their stuff out on people that work in the public systems, it is really sad. Your writing is fresh and extremely engaging. I agree that the way we approach medicine and healing needs to change, responsibly in our part of illness is the only way forward, the way of the future.

70. It really is wonderful to feel people flowering when they are appreciated… our healthcare system is a great place to put this into motion.

71. Letting people in is an awesome thing to do. I continue to discover the joys of this. It is about surrendering to the love and care that is there and allowing yourself to be cared for. Letting go of this control of the world that we try to have allows the magic to happen.

72. It is not pleasant being on the receiving end of verbal abuse from a patient, often times looking to blame you for something that has nothing to do with you. It has been great to come to the understanding that most times they are actually angry with themselves about the choices they have made that have led to themselves being in such a predicament. It can be a difficult thing to face.

73. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” and “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” Having ignored health situations to the same degree I can see how I have denied not only myself loving connection and care for me, but also denied those around me who may be offering it.

74. I have refused loving support many times before due to being stubborn and not wanting to put people out, it has taken a while but I see now how asking for help when needed is so very honouring of oneself. If we don’t allow love and support in we are effectively saying no to brotherhood as working as a team requires both giving and receiving.

    1. So true Samantha, we need to work together in all areas of life and ask for support or offer support where needed, then we get to feel the power of brotherhood in action.

75. YAY to letting people in a little bit more into your heart 💖😍✨👏👏👏👏 This should be a slogan ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ …. I am going to tweet it! #self-love #self-care 💕

76. Have we created a structure in society that supports us in being irresponsible? As RB shares here, we abuse our bodies and then expect our medical professionals to fix them. After all we pay our taxes – or insurance premiums. Do we do the same with social care – expecting social services to look after all the elderly and vulnerable? Ditto with crime and the Police and schools and education? I hear the words ‘who is to blame’ or ‘who do you blame’ in the media far too often these days. A better question might be ‘who is responsible’ – and a better answer might be ‘we all are’.

77. I had never realised that doctors and nurses in hospitals are on the receiving end of abuse from patients in the way you share here RB. How disheartening this must be for them – people who dedicate themselves to the care of others. Perhaps it is because people are fearful, or hurt, or angry – but where is our fundamental appreciation of those who care – and of each other generally? Perhaps we don’t care enough for ourselves and this ends up being expressed outwardly to others – even in this situation.

78. The medical system, doctors and nurses often get a bad rap. But it is an entire system that is set up to support us. The system may not be perfect but it is there in support. It seems often we want more than support and that we want someone else to fix it. But we are responsible for “fixing” it (if that is indeed possible) and the doctors and nurses are there to support us while we do our job.

79. It is extraordinary what lengths we go to, what suffering we endure, before allowing ourselves to ‘give in’ and be supported. It makes sense though if you have never felt worthy of that support and lived in protection, fearing being hurt or dismissed. What a beautiful experience to begin to allow yourself to be loved and cared for!

80. What a great learning RB and I was also struck by what we think is being stoic and ‘toughing it out’ is actually being irresponsible and adds to the burden on the health system!

81. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” Such a healing experience on all levels RB when you did eventually choose to surrender to love and support.

82. It is unbelievable that you would put up with so much pain, for so long, and only go to the hospital, on the prompting from your housemate, when you couldn’t pee. Truly amazing what we will put up with rather than reaching out for help.

83. I have spent time in hospital and have had similar experiences, I was able to see the errors of my ways as to why I had ended up there, but I did see people who had no respect for the staff just trying to do their jobs, and obviously were blaming anyone but themselves as to why they were there. I really had to take my hat off to the nurses who were doing such a wonderful job and the last thing they needed was abuse.

84. The care you received can be humbling. A recent experience that I had supports all you have said and I felt very blessed to have the experience I did. I loved your honesty around the care that you did not give to yourself and how that is something that you will take away from this. Our nursing staff and doctors do an amazing job and it is great to celebrate all they bring. .

85. Thanks Rosie. I can well imagine that the hospital staff found you a real joy to have as a patient. Something that stood out to me was your comment around what we expect from others yet aren’t prepared to give ourselves. So true! This commonly applies in all sorts of situations – in fact wherever we are interacting with others and it can easily lead to resentment, anger, blame, arguing and so forth. The openness and self responsibility you were prepared to have with staff would have had a major impact on the whole environment, not to mention helping you in your own recovery.

86. This is a good point you make here Sally “We have a huge responsibility to ourselves, and to the medical profession too.” Often we neglect our responsibility particularly to others, thus going to the doctor expecting them to fix our problem, without accepting we have the main role in our healing.

87. I absolutely get what you say about carrying on and trying to ignore what the body is showing us. It seems crazy and why would we do this? I lived like this for many many years, but now will visit the doctor when needed and embrace all they offer. What I could see in reading this today is that maybe when we show ourselves some care and feel the care from others whilst being looked after, it shows how we need to keep giving ourselves this care. And it may be some adjustments will have to be made to do this.

    Love and care for ourselves is natural, but somewhere along the way we have lost this and made other people, our jobs, whatever else more important. This blog shows the importance of always holding ourselves with care and allowing others in. Thank you Rosie.

88. A really lovely story of letting people in RB, thank you. I loved reading how you came to trust the hospital staff by making loving choices, which naturally impacted on others and yourself. Such a beautiful simple example of serving humanity.

89. There is so much that we can learn in hospitals… I came out of an operation with full anaesthetic etc last week, and came out feeling so light and refreshed…( It was a bit of a surprise for the attending staff) something that in the past would have been such a grim thing can now be quite an extraordinary experience.

90. Thanks RB, you have provided a very simple, straight forward example of how we have the choice to either work with our bodies or pull against them until they can’t keep going and cause us to come to a halt. The beauty of this experience is that you learnt so much about yourself, your body and your health. The health system is full of people who come back time and time again, sometimes becoming very abusive to staff along the way, and never once stop to consider the role they play in their circumstances. Sharing stories such as this one offers a different perspective for those who are ready to consider further what is happening with their health.

91. the people that choose to serve humanity in so many roles really deserve our respect, and the respect and honour of our society… Everything is fine of course until we come to a big stop in our lives, and then who do we turn to? Let us totally support all of these professions that are always there to pick us up, support us and help us get back to our lives.

92. Trusting others to help can be a difficult thing to do. Often I have been the one who has offered all the help and felt at an unease in asking or receiving it from another. This blog is a great celebration of honouring just that!

93. I love the gentleness you developed during your stay in the hospital and the way you started to connect not only with yourself but also with others. ‘It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’ Wise words.

94. I like the way you have nominated the fact we are responsible for the state of our health and our choices determine the quality of our existence

95. What is really impressing me now is when I see young people making the choice to go into the profession of nursing, knowing how intense this career is , and still choosing to be in service to humanity in this way, and yes they need all our support.

96. Thanks for writing so honestly about your experiences. Often we are the first to help others when they are in need, but when the tables are turned, it can feel uncomfortable and we may resist others wanting to show the same amount of care back.

97. Volunteering in the local hospital I get to see how much disregard and abuse we give to our bodies. The hospitals are under constant pressure and do what they can to take care of us but there is only so much they are able to do until we begin take the necessary steps to become responsible for our own health.

    1. This is true that there is only so much they can do and it must be frustrating for them when they see people returning with the same ailments and can see clearly it is through the ill ways we are living, yet we are still treated with care and respect.

98. I love what you shared about learning to trust people and to let them in. I love how you accepted the admission to hospital and allowed the support, all the while reflecting on how you saw things while having that experience. When I was a patient recently, I understood the sensitivity of patients far deeper and how every little thing matters, nothing gets missed by the patients. I also hear your call for greater responsibility from patients in how they aapproach the situation. Blaming life or others doesn’t support anyone to get to the bottom of why they have gotten ill in the first place.

99. When reading your sharing RB, what comes up in me is, that when I’m in hospital I struggle to trust people. I’m very afraid of, that they could do a mistake. I have to ponder on this one, where my fear is coming from and why I struggle to let people in.

100. Rosie, it was great to read your story and the deeper healing you got from simply surrendering when you were in hospital and letting people in.

101. ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves’. Just beautiful RB and so true.

     1. I noted this today too and yes it is beautiful and can be applied to other areas of our lives.

102. Indeed this is widespread, I have witnessed disgruntled patients both in hospital and the local surgery. It is clear that their anger and frustration begins with themselves for living with the irresponsibility that bought them there in the first place, for it is far easier to vent it on another than open up to the hurt that drives their unloving choices.

103. It is incredible how we treat our body, even when it is crying out in pain. It shows the disregard and the lovelessness we not only have for our bodies, but for ourselves. The true medicine for health and well being is self love and self care.

104. I can believe you waited until you couldn’t pee to go to the doctor!? It’s doesn’t make sense how much unnecessary pain we can put ourselves through, for such silly reasons..

     1. Yes an honest account on how far people will wait before they will ask for help and the long term harm this can cause to our health.

105. Tuning in to our bodies can be scary at the start, I often find this with people that they are shocked by the pain and tension that is lurking, but we have to feel to heal.

     1. That’s simple and true “we have to feel to heal”, If we cannot feel the pain our body is going to, then how can we make different choices to heal them; if we keep ignoring the signs by not stopping to feel, we are never going to heal and our conditions are just going to get worse, until our body comes to a big stop.

106. Dear RB thank you for this blog about self-care and letting people in and the result of this life-changing choice. I have made an interesting observation when at the beginning of the year, I decided to take care for myself and made an appointment with a dentist. For I moved, I had to search a new one and I did. The experience was not so good and as was the result. Half a year later, after developing my self-caring choices in life furthermore as to let people in, I searched again a dentist. And this time I met a beautiful woman, who felt like a friend from the beginning, was deeply caring and warmhearted, absolutely diligent, highly professional and I felt to be at the right place with the right person to care for my teeth and my jaw for this time (and for the first time).

     I realized, that who we meet in order to care for ourselves is also a reflection to our choices before. I felt it as a beautiful confirmation for my level of self-care and willingness to go deeper, as the dentist also gave me an understanding for the connection of the state of my teeth and jaw and my life. Now I am able to go further and deeper with it, accompanied by a beautiful dentist. It feels like joy for the first time.

     1. I can relate to what you’ve shared here Stefanie, when I am going to the doctors so that I have an illness to blame for my situation, it’s as if the person I meet is reflecting that lack of care I have for myself. But when I actually make the effort to care for myself and take responsibility for my choices, the help is always there, be it from western medicine sources or from esoteric practitioners or even just audio presentations that I put on shuffle – it’s like there is no coincidence that I get the support needed in that moment the more I choose to support myself, and the way I can step forward is by listening to my body when it calls out about something.

        1. I have shared the same experiences and in this I can see the self-sabotage that comes in just when I am doing really well. I seem to let it go for so long only to slump just as I am about to take the next step.

     2. Stefanie, I had never thought of it like this but what you have written makes complete sense. Thank you – I feel like I have been given such a valuable gem to reflect on as it has meaning for me on a few different levels. The bottom line is the interconnectedness of the quality of our being with everything else in our life.

     3. I agree Stefanie I have found this too, that those I meet to care for me are a reflection of the care I am giving myself at that time. If I have a meeting with someone and they are not so caring, it is not for me to blame them, but to look at how I am caring for myself, or to understand what they are offering is simply what they offer themselves too, and they too are still learning.

107. I had an accident few years ago and broke my collar bone, unfortunately it was on a Friday night and at accident and emergency, most of the casualties were people that were drunk or had been drinking. One of the first things they asked me was Have you been drinking? When I said no, their whole attitude changed with me and I was treated with a lot of care. It was horrible to see how abusive all these other people under the influence of alcohol could be to people who were only trying their best to help them. I wondered how they put up with it and could totally understand why they were able to be more caring to the quiet sober ones.

108. Elizabeth that is such a simple and truthful command – wunderbar.

109. What I recall as a nurse working in a hospital is that you really like those patients who do not make a fuss, do not ‘carry on’, keep to themselves and grin and bear it. They are less trouble! This is partly because you are so busy and partly because of the opposite type of patient mentioned in this blog who ‘carry on’ big time and vent quite a lot of anger and frustration on to staff. It is rare to have a patient who knows how to be patient and still express about what is going on for them and ask for what they require when needed. Such a person I do feel is genuinely respected by most staff and the more there are of them, the more likely will the hospital culture change, from nurses who are a little defensive or caught in the mind set of ticking boxes much of the time.

110. RB, the realization that you had in hospital around the need for all of us to take responsibility for our own bodies and health is the key to changing the crisis we face in health today. We cannot continue to abuse ourselves and then expect the health service to fix us.

     1. It is indeed the responsibility we all have to take Elizabeth, as the crisis in our national health care systems is there because we do not take this. Instead we are using our bodies to such an extent where it has never been designed for, ending up abusing it in many different ways. Our bodies are part of the the all, the universe, and the all and universe is obeying to the universal laws based on love. Therefore we have to become aware that our bodies are our connection to this love, the love we all crave for, and the way to go there is by taking the responsibility for our bodies, and acknowledge the grandness of its design and adjust our behaviours accordingly.

     2. This is such a great point Elizabeth. In general, we have such high expectations of the medical profession, that if we get sick we can just take a pill or somebody will do something to make us feel better. But as we now know, there is much more behind a physical symptom than has been given credit for. We have to start taking responsibility for why we get sick in the first place, and take steps to prevent this from happening. A great place to start is by looking at how we live our lives on a day to day basis, and then so much can be revealed, understood, and different choices made to prevent symptoms from occurring.

     3. Indeed Elizabeth, when we take responsibility for our choices and the impact this has on our health and well-being, then we are more able to fully seek out and accept the support we might need from others, which includes the services provided by our various health providers.

111. Honest RB that was such a great blog to read. This sentences got me: “I can see now how I chose to abuse my body by not going to doctors and getting support over the years, instead choosing to be in pain and suffer.” because I was overriding my pain and therewith my body too. I was never in hospital, so I love what you share about your experience there. I am still learning to listen to my body more deeply, but I can say that since I do listen my body is much more healthy and there is not pain and suffering.

112. The understanding you gained about yourself and the learnings you had whilst you were in hospital were quite profound. This was clearly a remarkable healing opportunity on several levels that through embracing fully, you ultimately evolved from and can now inspire many.

113. RB I just love what you have shared particularly regarding how your admission to hospital ‘made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’

114. Great sharing RB – “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” Learning to self-care was the start of a truer way of being for me, part of this process is trusting and allowing others in, and listening to my body is what truly supports me.

115. What an incredible experience RB- obviously pain of that intensity is not an experience anyone would welcome but the fact that you did not fall victim to the pain and instead chose to be aware and connect with those around you is awesome and it sounds like the experience was pretty transformational as a result. I can definitely relate to pushing through, and also waiting for others to show me the love and care that I am not giving myself. It’s been my experience also that the more gentle I am with myself, the easier it is to let others be this way with me also.

116. You have nailed it here RB. Your honesty has highlighted that ‘playing tough’ and putting up with the pain or ‘enduring the pain’ is actually a form of self-abuse. There is nothing strong or tough about abuse and the more this is understood the more we will seek the support, care and love that is actually needed in these kinds of situations.

117. I have often been afraid of letting people see the real me, so any time these days where the opportunity arises that I can be open to people, gives me pleasure 🙂 The world is a much better place when I do that.

118. How beautifully expressed Elizabeth – the simplicity and the clarity of your words say everything.

119. Thank-you RB, I override so much in my life, not just what my body tells me but even those reminders that come from outside of my body. Sadly, I have spent more of my life ignoring and pushing my body then I have honouring and caring for it. A great blog and a great reminder that it is just not worth it, we are too precious for such unloving attention.

120. It’s been a great read, your story of what happened and how you opened up to learning from it all too. I love your insights about what is going on between nurses and patients at times. Nurses are at the bedside daily, and they see the aches and pains of humanity and the despair, they get told things that others may never know. They are sometimes a person’s only recent experience of being cared for. Thanks for sharing how it is to be a patient and why nurses seem to be sometimes unappreciated. It’s an amazing service to be with someone when at their most vulnerable.

121. The way you describe overriding and not listening to your body is very exposing as something pretty much all of us do. In your case the story was obviously quite extreme, but whether it is holding off on having a wee when I need to until I finish writing this comment or doing just that one more thing when my body is telling me to stop – it is the same. If we are not loving and respectful to ourselves and our bodies then as you say it is no wonder that we are not loving and respectful to others. This is why self-love and self-care is not selfish at all but an essential step in being able to truly love and care for others.

122. I love how you were able to enjoy your first hospital visit, simply because you made it about connecting with the people instead of solely focussing on yourself – even though you were in pain. Very inspiring RB!

123. How amazing when you allow yourself to be cared for by those medical professionals that your experience was so much more healing.

124. Your blog has stated various points which are pretty important such as self care, seeking medical attention when things aren’t right, showing respect and care for others and letting people in. All this has come from one hospital visit, thanks RB

     1. I agree Joe. A lot of healing has taken place not only for you RB but also for the staff you connected with.

125. I have found that patterns of not letting people in can be very deeply ingrained, I can keep those “closest” to me out without even realising it. A mental choice doesn’t change this pattern, I just start to criticise myself. What does help is to be very aware and present in my body and hold myself in love and then I am also letting others in.

126. Such a beautiful example of how to let the love and support in which is always there if we connect to who we truly are, thank you RB!

127. There are no excuses to abuse the people taking care of those that end up in hospitals whatever their condition may be.

128. RB what you wrote is so true “It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.” How often do we do this when we go to a docter or therapist. We want to be fixed without needing to look at the root cause or make any changes to our lifestyle. We expect the medical world to keep us functioning despite the irresponsible lifestyle we often choose.

129. With every experience that we are presented with, we have an opportunity to learn, or not; it is totally our choice. I can feel from this hospital stay that you definitely were open to learning and that’s exactly what you allowed yourself to do, even though you were in a lot of pain. I love the way you were able to appreciate the amazing hospital staff, unlike some of the other patients, and agree with you when you say: “I can understand it is hard when you are in a lot of pain, but that gives no excuse to abuse the staff who work long hard hours to care for us”. Definitely not acceptable! Thank you RB for sharing your first hospital experience with us.

130. To trust others and surrender to being looked after and allowing that to happen can be a big one for many people. RB I liked how you highlighted that fact that many people don’t appreciate the help they are getting or the process of being a patient patient, and don’t take responsibility for their part in the illness.

131. It’s great to see how something most people would see as a problem or issue being seen for a healing and opportunity to let more love in and out!

132. I love how you share, “…so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place”. This is so true, and a great reminder to care for and listen to our bodies.

     1. Exactly what I wanted to say Carmin. We don’t realise how much we rely on others to solve our problems. The answers all lie with us and taking responsibility is the only way forward.

133. I agree RB, a stay in hospital can be a great learning experience, having worked in one all my life I have seen first hand where patients when offered have taken the opportunity to learn about their bodies, and also about acceptance, allowing, understanding and patience.

134. We aren’t taught to look after our bodies as the most precious investment to make in this life. Instead, the overall attitude is to use it and abuse it whatever way you like then when it goes wrong find the quickest fix possible. By living this way, we miss out on learning what our bodies can teach us by being truly responsible for it.

135. Thanks RB. I had an operation not so long ago and was so impressed with my care I wrote an open letter of thanks to all the departments involved. Even on the Saturday night when I know they were flat out I never had the sense of I was asking too much. It was eye opening and I felt totally supported.

136. RB there are so many gems in this blog.
     TRUST.
     Listening to our bodies.
     Listening to our hearts.
     Self Care.
     Letting others in….
     All Great Medicine for ALL 🙂

     1. Indeed. The greatest medicine of all. LOVE.

     2. Well summarised kathrynfortuna. And with these gems in action the ultimate health can be obtained.

137. This was such a lovely share of trusting yourself to others when being in a such a vulnerable time.

138. I wonder after reading your blog … if letting other people in is a very good medicine for all.

139. I have noticed a lot of people struggle with letting others in, that we are very protective against being hurt. It is very inspirational for us to read about the joy and healing it can bring to let go, let people in to our hearts and lives, to trust and allow them to help us.

140. Hi RB, to me the stand out point was ‘It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’ I know I once lived like this. Now I listen to what my body is telling me and take care of myself so that when I do have the need for medical care I am taking the healthiest, best version of me for them to work with.

141. RB you have reminded me of the feeling I have had myself many times as a health professional working in a hospital – a bit of a stand off between staff and patients. Staff often mistrustful and wary of patients because they have been on the receiving end of abuse so many times, and patients not trusting the staff because they have had differing experiences with health care staff in the past. So both sides have their guard up. So it was lovely to read that you made the first move and were open to the care you were being offered which is all it takes to break this stand off.

142. So much is stated in this simple, short blog about self responsibility. There is always something or someone to blame for the situation we find ourselves in, in life. The more awareness I return to, the more there is a deep realisation that I have chosen not to be aware and that full complete awareness, understanding and responsibility has actually always been there – like an inner voice or knowing, that is once again becoming clearer and louder as I make the choice to acknowledge it. When illness is needed to bring us back, it means we have chosen to go much further away. Perhaps this is why with illness, bringing ourselves to account, we get impatient and grumpy and intolerant of others – because we are very tangibly faced with all our choices and where they have led us, yet mostly do not like to be reminded of what we already know.

143. In the past I could not trust anyone as I had huge trust issues. As I have worked on my issues and hurts from childhood I have slowly began to trust in myself again, which has greatly supported me to trust other people and to let them in, which is an ongoing development as I deepen the relationship (love) with myself.

144. Thank you RB for sharing your experience. It’s incredible how we can allow our minds to drive us physically into the ground due to a belief that we hold and by not honoring how we truly feel. This is a beautiful reminder that when we begin to take responsibility for our health and well-being we are then able to allow and trust the support and care that is offered from modern medicine, which works beautifully together with esoteric medicine to support true healing.

145. This is such great stuff to share RB. Particularly in regards to taking full responsibility for our health by attending to any signs that something may truly be wrong. Our health is not something to play with, is it… to ‘put off’ until another day, hoping we’ll feel better. We are far too precious to neglect ourselves in such a way.
     I remember a good few years back, having a terrible bronchial infection. I had fevers, bad night sweats and was very unwell. I didn’t want to go the ‘route’ of antibiotics, but after a few days of nothing abating at all, and almost incessant coughing (the likes of which I’d never experienced before), I got myself to the doctor.
     When I got to the doctor, he said another day or two, and it would have turned into pneumonia. The anti-biotics ended up kicking in just in time… This was a great lesson, and one that I haven’t thought about for quite some time. You know, it also took me a good 3 months for my voice to fully recover (noticeable particularly in singing), from the coughing that had been terrible for the 3 or 4 worst days.
     It is most definitely a mark of true responsibility to seek help from allopathic medicine when we need it. From there we have an actual platform to truly deal with what may be underlying our illness in the first place.

     1. Absolutely Elizabeth. Revisiting this blog, and reading your comment here, I can feel that this true investment in our own health – on every level – is our greatest asset in life… the health of our bodies, our relationships, our sense of purpose in life and commitment to all of it.
        And I can honestly feel that there is ‘more’… there are deeper levels of care to bring to this body, and if I pay attention to it, it’s most certainly not ‘rocket science’ to acknowledge what’s needed and put measures in place.

     2. This is a great example Victoria, of the potential effects that can occur when we delay taking responsibility and going to the hospital, I know someone who ended up having pneumonia but was very ill for weeks prior to that, by the time they ended up calling a doctor they were told they were just hours away from not making it. When I heard about this it was a huge wakeup call for me as I realised how important it is to be aware of our body in every moment so that if something is up then we have a responsibility to be aware of it and act accordingly

        1. Hi Oliver, and yes – what a wakeup call. I remember being dumbfounded when my GP said I had been so close to pneumonia. It just wasn’t in my ‘frame of reference’ to consider that the infection I had could lead to something so serious. The thing is, ‘frame of reference’ of not, my body was (as you say) giving pretty strong indications that I needed more help than bed rest and some some herbal mixtures. The treatment my doctor recommended was essential.

146. The line “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” I can certainly feel how much I do not give that space I require to myself sometimes to feel and appreciate me when I deserve it. That space might be just what that next thing requires.
     By choosing my way, by stopping and creating space to ensure the next choice has been properly felt and thought out, and allowed to be what it is. This may have greater effects on me and naturally everyone else.

147. Thank you RB. I love what you stated… “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves” How true this is. What we receive from others is a reflection of what we give to ourselves. We see the world through the lenses of our own intimate relationship we have with ourselves. Why wait when the capacity of self love is much more than what any one could ever receive from another.

148. I can relate to what you have shared RB. When I spent some time in hospital for surgery several years ago it was the first time I’d been in hospital since I was a kid and I found it interesting that in the beginning I too found it difficult to receive the love and care that was being offered to me. I used this experience and the following medical treatments I had over the next 6 months as an opportunity to let myself be held by the doctors and nurses (not physically but on an energetic level). I learnt to surrender and trust them as well as let them in without giving my power away. Since this experience I now find it much easier to let myself feel supported by others.

149. RB I know I have pushed on through many times and I remember a time when I couldn’t actually feel if I was fit for work or not because I was so used to being tough and my body was numb with the way I lived. It’s pretty crazy that we do this to our own bodies and then wonder why we get sick and blame everything from the microwave to genetics, rather than look at how we are living!

     1. I remember so clearly those times of pushing through and numbing myself, just to keep on going when my body was yelling at me to stop. Now I realise that it was so very crazy and senseless, but then I just thought it was normal to do so. These days there is no more pushing – well not much – and definitely no numbing, just taking responsibility for my life and stopping when my body says it wants to, and as a result life is pretty wonderful.

150. I was listening to the radio today as the reports on various budget cuts were coming through and different heads of the health sector were desperately saying how drug and alcohol support services were chronically underfunded and basic services were not going to be available. It made me connect to urgency of people really needing to take a lot more responsibility for their health. We really do exist with an expectation and recklessness that someone will be able to repair the mess we have made of our bodies. The health system will not be able to support us if we keep living this way it is already in crisis – and with predictions that we have for the first time a generation of children who are less healthy than their parents.
     The average child has consumed more sugar by the time they are 8 years old than the average adult did in their entire lifetime just a century ago.
     Even though life expectancy has risen for both men and women, this has come at an enormous cost in the quality of life of our elders, for they are suffering with more pain and greater disability than ever before in last 15 years of life. People globally are living longer but chronic debilitating conditions are becoming more prevalent.
     Children today will suffer unimaginable health problems by the time they are only 40 years is the toxic assault on their bodies is curbed this decade.

151. RB I have also noticed patients in hospital resent being there, having to accept their lifestyle has not been good for their health. The people who care for us are treated badly, what a difference it makes when you get to know them and treat them with the respect everybody deserves.

152. I recently attended a course on Chakra-puncture and was so taken by all the accounts of people who have attended hospital for various reasons, and how much support and healing has been experienced with this modality. It also made me stop and appreciate how Chakra-puncture had a massive role in my return to health after my hospital visit.
     http://www.chakra-puncture.com/

153. Thank you RB for your timely blog reminding me that I need to listen to my body and not (as I have just this past week) over ride the pain and tell myself “it will be fine, I’ll go to the Doctors if it’s not better in a week or so”. I agree that Medical staff should be respected and appreciated for the care they give to all.

154. RB it is great to hear about your first hospital experience. Quite often we hear of hospitals and nurses and doctors getting bad press, but I am filled with admiration for the work they do and the long hours they work to look after us. Like you say so many people don’t take care in looking after themselves and then wonder why they end up in hospital, I know I have been guilty of this in the past.

     1. Completely agree with you Alison, it is so common to not take responsibility of taking care for ourselves, that we get upset when others aren’t caring towards us (not only at hospitals, but in life in general). My experience of the staff at hospitals is absolutely faultless.

     2. Well said Alison. I have been guilty of not looking after myself and expecting a doctor or practitioner to fix it for me. Without taking responsibility – lovingly, I might add, no self bashing needed – we miss the message our body is giving us through the pain or illness.

     3. Agree, health care is a two way street, the current medical system can perform wonders, but when we take responsibility as patients as well, the process could produce miracles.

155. Some great points you have raised RB, especially looking after your body and seeking medical attention when it is required

156. Through all the many blogs I read, I see how we are learning to take care of our precious body. It is beautiful to see the stubbornness fall away, replaced by respect, tenderness and self-loving.

157. I would like to comment having been a nurse for some time about how patients treat nurses and also some nurses treat patients and the general ill feeling that often accompanies illness! This ill feeling is always a case of non acceptance. It has been a revelation to come to understand healing from a new perspective through Universal Medicine. Seeing illness as what our bodies offer us to bring us back to harmony makes so much sense. When I have chosen to work with that, and have seen others also work with it, the results have been amazing. Whether this be something acute and mild like difficulty with sleeping, where I have been able to connect with the nervous energy there and accept this is needed to be acknowledged and then easily letting it go and falling asleep. Or a major illness and how this has required a huge shift in awareness to bring back harmony, but a shift that the person was ready and able to make. It seems illness is always a case of our bodies calling us back. Perhaps the lesson to be learned is if we choose to not be absent in the first place what levels of health and wellbeing, beyond being ill could we reach?

     1. Thank you Simon for your comment – it must be amazingly helpful as a nurse to see illness with this awareness and perception. When we allow ourselves to open up to the notion that illness is ‘our bodies calling us back’ we can open up to the many possibilities that it offers us to change our way of living to become one that not only supports us but also others – and at the same time eases the over-burdened Health Care Services.

     2. Beautifully written Simon. Illness is something that our body uses to say, “hey buddy, what’s going on? Why are you treating me this way?” The body sends the message, the choice is ours to hear this message, or not.

158. I know this driving energy of pushing through pain without addressing it with care and respect for ourselves and our bodies, as I have been this way too. It comes with a resistance to feeling and self loving. It is an awful way to be with ourselves. It has only been through the work of Serge Benhayon that I have over time changed my attitude towards myself and begun to take true care of the vulnerable nature of my body and treat myself with the respect and care that I deserve.

     1. Lisa I too was such a person and my feeling is that there are a lot of people pushing through pain without addressing it with the needed care. I wonder what that way of treating ourselves costs our healthcare system? For me this behavior now is like a disease which I could only address through the work of Serge Benhayon. Before I was in a way blind – blind that I am worth it, precious and fragile and that my body needed to be treated with love and respect and care.

159. “I developed a pain in my back which got worse by the day, but because I am always so tough on myself, I just continued on regardless. It was compulsory work training, after all!” Isn’t it crazy how we carry on, pushing through even when we are in physical pain.

     1. Yes it is crazy how we do push through the pain. It can be a real drive to, which seems so silly when illness and pain are markers for us to choose to look at what may be causing the pain and make a new choice to come back to harmony.

     2. This story can be told in so many different ways, from the back pain to the neck pain, to the stomach aches, headaches…so many signs our body gives us and yes our first response… “Nothing to see here folks…Carry On”…crazy

        1. So true Joel, I see it at work all the time – have another coffee, take some painkillers and push on through, completely ignoring what the body is trying to communicate!

160. Great blog RB. What a difference our experience would be if we were taught and accepted that illness and disease was our body’s way of telling us to look deeper into our daily choices and the quality of how we are choosing to live. By taking responsibility patients would not be abusive to nursing staff who are trying to do their best to care for them.

161. Thank you RB, I was like you and never took painkillers or medication as I always felt that I could push through the pain until at some stage my husband would put his foot down and carry me off to the doctors for a penicillin injection. On at least one occasion I hadn’t eaten for two weeks or was no longer able to swallow water because my throat had closed up but I was determined to sit it out as I equated allowing the disease to run it’s course with a true healing! I have since learnt that a true healing is when we are prepared to change a way of living that is not in keeping with our body’s needs at the time. Also that living from ideals and beliefs and neglecting what our body is telling us is totally irresponsible. It puts unnecessary stress on ourselves and others, often placing them in a position where they feel they need to step in.

     1. Awesome example Kathleen of how our ideals and beliefs get in the way. It picks up on a line in the article: ‘It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’ So, ills and beliefs can be one of the things that brings us there – a double whammy compounding or layering on top of the choices we made that lead to the illness in the first place!

162. Great article RB, insightful into hospital mentality.

163. RB this is so true – ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ – I know I have done this my whole life and I still catch myself going into this. When we start to give that to ourselves and lift the bar of what it is we do for ourselves, then we actually stop looking out for others to do this for us. We start to meet what it is that we know is possible. When we choose to be us and honour this, then life’s expectations are turned upside down.

164. ‘I can see now how I chose to abuse my body by not going to doctors and getting support over the years, instead choosing to be in pain and suffer.’ I was there too, also because I did not trust western medicine or was it because I did not let people in, interesting question! It is great to know any experience can be a healing experience if we let people in and take care for ourselves and each other.

165. There is a lot of love and care out there in the conventional medical system – we just need to be open to seeing it. It can make all the difference to someone’s experience.

166. Thank you RB for sharing how by letting people in and by being open we get to witness much healing and blessings that awaits us.

     1. Yes, I loved this too. I almost wanted to pop off to hospital for a nice, nurturing rest and opportunity to surrender more to letting others in!

167. … what a difference it makes when we let our guard down and trust.

168. It’s amazing how often we push ourselves through the pain barrier to get something done, or to do something for somebody else so that we don’t ‘let them down’, and yet there is often a reluctance to nurture ourselves and to feel our own vulnerability and tenderness when our body truly needs it.

169. What a gorgeous healing for you – pushing through and not letting Love in are serious diseases in our modern era – you found some true medicine in the hospital through simple observation and just surrendering – thank you for sharing.

170. I love this line, ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ How true and what a difference that would make.

171. How uplifting to read RB, your moving from ” pushing on through ” and resisting help,
     to,
     opening your heart, trusting others and giving to your self. This is the way to love.

172. RB reading your article in the beginning felt like a really tightly clenched fist but at the end it felt like a beautifully open palm with lightly curled fingers.

173. RB what you share here is very important. At my workplace (a mental hospital) some of our patients are not very friendly with our nurses. So we as a team are asked to hold our nurses in love and respect and they too are asked to treat themselves with respect and love – which they do. I like to celebrate them – I like to celebrate the joy and love these nurses are showing every day to the best of their ability and with that being a role model for all the patients who had never felt and see that there is an other way – being at least respectful – with each other.

174. What a beautiful process of surrender – an opening to love. I had a similar experience when I ended up in hospital after my planned homebirth took a turn for the worse. I just wanted to do everything myself, my way, my home, no drugs blah blah… but once I was in hospital, I was so struck by the love and care of everyone who was there to help and support me, that I just sort of ‘cracked open’ and all I could feel was love. So I can completely relate to the abuse you feel you inflicted on yourself, stemming from a history of not caring for your body and the signals it was giving you. Me too! Thankyou RB.

175. The body is beautiful for what it reveals to us if we bother to stop and feel what is going on. From the serious illness to the stubbed toe there is always a message if we are willing to take responsibility for how we are living.
     RB, it was truly beautiful to read about your loving experience with the staff. You allow people in to feel that love and love returns.

176. Selfish and not wanting to be accountable. I know it because I have been like that. It feels awful to even admit that, but liberating too, to know that I now chose not to live that way anymore.

177. About 11 years ago, I was very unwell. I had numerous and extensive tests without a diagnosis other than ‘chronic fatigue’. My body was going haywire with extreme blood test results which would then normalise without any medication or treatment. I remember lying on the couch unable to do very much and feeling quite humbled by the fact my body had forced me to stop, and I remember feeling a deep acceptance of what my body was showing me – I had been living at a million miles an hour on an emotional roller coaster – and it had to stop.

     I can see how had I not made that choice to see it this way, I could easily have gone into the victim of ‘why me’ or become cranky at being so incapacitated rather than as I did, accept what was going on and then feel my body almost say ‘ah, she’s listening’ which allowed me to start making different choice and rebuild my body. And so when people are admitted to hospital, without the awareness that illness is the body’s way of making a correction – bringing healing – they perhaps take out their frustration at feeling helpless or inconvenienced by the illness, on the medical staff.

178. Just a comment about the profession of nursing in general… I’d just like to acknowledge these are extraordinary people. They dedicate their whole career to caring for people. It really is very special commitment they make to us all.

     1. A shout out for all health workers (raise the roof)

179. I have had time in hospital recently and learnt how to be very fragile and vulnerable and ask for support as well as allow others to support me. I was very touched by the love and care shown to me by the hospital staff.

180. It’s unfortunately common to be stubbornly strong disregarding pain and discomfort, to put on a brave face and carry on until it’s too much. RB how beautifully you describe the trust, support, letting go, acceptance with “the joy and healing this can bring”.

181. Choosing pain and being willing to suffer and soldier on is one of the things I have struggled with over the years and I have always felt guilty if I have to take time off work. It’s times like this when the ideals and beliefs kick in around self care and how much time one should take off to recover. Thank you RB for a great discussion.

182. Thanks RB for sharing this, it can be a very humbling experience winding up in hospital, I once broke my pelvis and the respect I have for nurses because of the ones that cared for me is huge.

183. That is a beautiful ending RB, opening your heart, trusting, and letting go of your rigid beliefs and ideals and so being able shine your light and love out and therefore to let the nurses and doctors in, instead of the other way round.

184. It is truly lovely, RB, how you were able to connect with the nurses and staff who tended to you during your illness and how you healed, not only an illness, but an attitude of blocking others from yourself.

185. It is so ‘normal’ to ignore our bodies and all the signals they are continually giving us. It is ingrained into men from an early age to ‘soldier on’, to push through the pain, indeed not to show ‘weakness’, sportsmen AND spectators take it for granted that athletes on the big stage will have numbing injections and sprays to keep going. It is a deeply embedded culture of denial and ignorance.
     One of the pivotal reflections the Serge Benhayon imparts is that we must listen to our bodies, indeed saying that “our bodies are the markers of all truth”. It has personally taken a long time for the message to sink in, but now I, for one, am deeply and eternally grateful for having this profound and wonderful wisdom presented to me.

     1. Thanks for your comment Cjames2012, the part “It is a deeply embedded culture of denial and ignorance.” really is so true, and we are the only ones who can change that, by being open, honest, learning and sharing with each other.

     2. So true Chris. The ignorance leads us to want to find a fix to the problem we created in the first place with it usually being a script or cream to neutralise the symptom, as if it will just dissolve away. So much wasted time, energy and money when we can jump into the rhythm of the soul and never overload the body.

186. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” This is a great line RB it is so easy to go through life expecting others to full fill our shortfalls. We expect others to love us when we don’t love ourselves, we expect others to fix us yet we are not willing to care and heal ourselves, the list could go on but what you highlight here is that until we are loving and caring towards ourselves then our interactions with others will be laced with our own lack of self love.

187. Thank you RB, I loved reading how you ‘learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring’. We can be so stubborn and often push away the very thing we crave the most. If we can just learn to let go of the protection and control, the grace we receive in return is amazing and as you say, offers enormous healing.

     1. Thank you Alison, and this takes practise, especially if you are as stubborn as I have been. But well worth the practise, because it is so amazing when we do let go of the protection and the control and allow others to support us.

188. A hospital visit brings up much anxiety for many people, especially a surgical admission. It is very healing to express this feeling to hospital staff and talk about what exactly it may be that makes you scared and worried. Holding onto the emotions only bottles them up and then presents it back in recovery. Putting on the brave face isn’t really that brave, it’s just holding back what needs to be expressed.

     1. Well said Matthew. The true healing can actually be the breaking down of our barriers and guards to letting people in and thus feeling and expressing that sensitivity and vulnerability.

189. This is a really lovely and honest blog, thank you RB. What came to me when reading this was how everything is a choice. I felt when reading these words, “instead choosing to be in pain and suffer.” That this not only relates to physical pain, but mental and emotional too, it’s our choice to carry on in this and often we do, not through any fault of our own (for some yes) but for many because we do not realise that we have a choice as to how our day, life and any moment unfolds. How freeing is this.

190. This blog really highlighted for me issues of letting in support and not trying to take care of everything on my own. Being tough and strong is such a big theme in society, as is not being seen to have any problems, as if our vulnerability makes us weaker. There can be a lot of self judgement about being unwell, as if we have failed or are imperfect or not good enough. How we treat ourselves seems so silly because we would not react the same way to a child’s illness or pain, we would get it investigated without a second thought. Our expectations on ourselves can be quite unrealistic, since we really do need that equal support and care that any unwell child would. Thanks for sharing RB, there is a lot of food for thought in this blog, and it’s a great snapshot of what goes on with many adults.

191. It is very easy to fall in the arrogance that we are ok and not being open to let others in when we are in disregard of our bodies. It is very healing when we choose to surrender and open to others assistance and in that surrender we get to feel their true essence and love.

192. It’s amazing isn’t it how we can override what our body is screaming at us – I have certainly done that a lot in the past. I always think of how it would be if we were driving our car and it had a rattle that got louder and louder, or the car wasn’t driving smoothly – would we just ignore it and keep going or would we take it to the mechanics to prevent any further damage, or wait until it broke down?

     1. Good point Sandra.

193. There are so many elements of this blog that struck me and that I relate to. Firstly that it is not unusual to wait till we are very poorly to ask for help; secondly that in that pain we often abuse those who are trying to help; thirdly that we take it as a personal criticism to take responsibility for how we got to be in that much pain in the first place, therefore don’t because we already have low enough self esteem that admitting we might have some responsibility would just add to an already overfull cup. It is so much easier to blame life than to take responsibility. But applying the best medicine of all – self-care – I am sure many of those automatic responses would be short circuited.

     1. Exactly, Lucy. You seemed to have summed up everything that is not only not working but contributing to the failing health of most people and topped it with a super suggestion – that we will all have to come to eventually, particular as our body breaks down – self care and self responsibility.

194. ” It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place”, this is so true RB.

195. Recently I spent the night in the emergency department with my 16 year son – who is now fine. It was, to say in the least, an eye opening experience. At 16 this was his first trip to the adult hospital –up until now he had been to the children’s hospital, which I had always found to be amazing.

     We were triaged quickly and he was moved through to the examination side as he was quite unwell, but unlike the children’s hospital they take the patient through to be treated without anyone to support them initially, which was a shock to both of us.
     I waited outside and then was summoned by a supportive nurse with a great sense of humour, who suggested I come through as there was a bit going on with other patients. There was a patient in the middle of a drug psychosis who was screaming and being violent, there was another mentally ill patient who had poisoned himself and who was arguing with the doctor and his parents, because he was wanting to discharged himself. I observed the devastation and helplessness in the eyes of the families, as they watched the behaviour of their grown child spiral out of control and the grief with which they offered an apology to the doctor who had copped a barrage of abuse in trying to rescue the patient who was having the drug psychosis. There were two young women who were in for self harm – one with the most devastatingly scarred arms and a horrifically deep cut. An alcoholic who had several broken ribs who was feeling suicidal, and a man who had been petrol sniffing who had walked in off the street with skin hanging off his legs, because he has set himself on fire when he spilt petrol over himself and lit a cigarette.
     My son said: “I wish we were back at the children’s hospital, as it was much nicer there.”
     We were only there for 5 hours and I am sure this is a regular night in the ED. The staff were amazing; we watched as they as they connected with each patient and their stories, had to put clear boundaries in place for out of control patients, protect patients form other patients and then continue to save others patients from themselves; they worked with efficiency, focus and a sense of humour.

     1. Wow, this comment really made me stop – what is going on in the world? These are not isolated incidences, but actual occurrences on a daily and regular basis, and give us all an insight into how people truly are, and the incredible forms of harm and abuse that are a result of the way that we are living.

     2. OMG Nicole, the world is really going mad! The staff in the Emergency Department must be so aware of the real state we are in as a society.

196. Funny how we run a mile from vulnerability, love, care and nurturing yet it is often the very thing we are asking for most.

     1. Ironic isn’t it Joshua.

        1. so true how Ironic it is and that it is the one thing that we all desperately want but run a mile from – even when it is around us 360° around us and we still fight it!

     2. So true Joshua.

        1. Yes, and not just run a mile from but whole marathons! And, funnily enough, these days often for causes like breast cancer, a disease of the area of a woman’s body that has everything to do with nurturing – and of ourselves first and foremost. Better to be still and self-loving than run even a quarter of a mile.

     3. And there is nothing quite like a serious illness, or something that stops working normally in the body or physical pain, to make us feel truly vulnerable and fragile and if we allow it, humble. A really opening moment and a possibility for evolving if we are up to it.

     4. Ouch! Yes Joshua. I have been running a long long time!

     5. I had an operation some time before I was introduced to the concept of self love and care by Serge Benhayon. The 24 hrs after the operation I had such loving care from the nurses assigned to me I felt safe and nurtured. But as soon as I was on my feet, while I did as I was told and was careful of my wounds, it was all about appearing strong and capable and totally independent again. If there is ever a next time, what I have learned through Serge Benhayon’s workshops and courses will allow me to be vulnerable and ask for help.

        1. Appearing strong and capable – yep that’s very very familiar to me … I will be looking out for the next opportunity to not put on that suit, thank you Catherine.

197. Thanks for sharing this RB. I need to go to the hospital soon for the 1st operation in my adult life and I am surprised at how very little anxiety I am feeling about this, despite all the possible things that could go wrong. Thanks to the presence I have learnt and come to live for myself through attending Serge Benhayon’s courses and workshops, I am feeling very much at ease within myself and open to the whole experience and meeting those who will care for me.

198. We can ‘override the signals’ that our body gives us, and the result is a hospital visit to bring us back. I particularly have noticed this when people exercise; the strain in their faces is clearly showing that their body is in extreme stress and their faces contort into sheer and absolute discomfort, yet they carry on pushing past and even repeating this, time and time again.

     1. I can relate to this Matthew. I was at a gym yesterday, and I tried a new machine. I tried it once and thought, whoa that is so uncomfortable. Did it again and thought, I can’t do that. Then there was this voice that was in my head saying to push through, that obviously I am not strong…. but I didn’t listen to that voice. I stopped, and listened to my body, because I could feel that I did not need to hurt it no matter what.

        1. I did a similar thing this week – I was taking the stairs at work and got to about the 6th flight up and stopped. My body was telling me it wanted to stop, but my head overrode and we pushed on. I have had a sore knee since, which has slowed me down considerably. Obviously a much needed reminder that the body knows what it is doing!

     2. I see this too, all the time (and hear it – the noise people lifting weights can make is sometimes hard to stomach!). Last year I returned to the gym after an absence of 10 years and was astounded to see how a whole new level of extreme exercise had entered the equation since I was last there. It is not uncommon to see men chaining additional weights to their waists to add to their chin-ups; I’ve seen women wearing harness-type contraptions dragging huge weights up and down the floor, and people in general push, push, pushing through the pain. Unfortunately the personal trainers reinforce this whole paradigm, it’s always about achieving some sort of goal and never about where the body is truly at.

        1. Hi Victoria, I had to laugh reading your comment as I have recently started going to the gym. It can be painful just watching what people are doing to their bodies.
           I have never been into exercise, which now I can see how that was not supporting my body either.
           Now I have learnt to exercise in a way that I stop and feel my body as I am exercising. I am not lazy because I don’t push, I am actually just listening and feeling what is right for my body. I know I stand out at the gym, as I do almost the opposite of everyone else, but that doesn’t bother me as my body loves it.

199. Making a hospital stay a healing process might just start with an openness to what is on offer from the doctors and nurses caring for the patient – what a beautiful insight this is. Be love and love will be drawn to you…no matter where you are.

     1. I had to go to the doctor today as I was feeling intensely unwell. I was so touched by the gentleness, understanding and kindness by the doctor just when I needed it. Her manner was a healing in itself and I went away feeling reassured and comforted. I like what you shared Deborah, “Be love and love will be drawn to you… no matter where you are.” I can appreciate the love I share with others coming back to me in this moment.

     2. This is simple and beautiful Deborah…”Be love and love will be drawn to you…no matter where you are.”

     3. Thank you Deborah – a simple and yet enormous truth that carries an endless ripple effect!

        1. Yes Deborah, so simple, true and beauty-full.

200. This is spot on RB ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ What a difference we would find if this was not the norm.

201. Admitting that something is wrong enough to need a trip to hospital is never easy. All my life I have over-ridden what my body has been trying to tell me – until I was hospitalised with a pain so great I was delirious. Although it was very confusing to be diagnosed with a condition that usually affects people who are alcoholic or obese (I was neither), it was a great wake up call to stop and realise that the body has its own intelligence, and it will always let you know if something is wrong. I learned to listen, and it deepened my understanding of the teachings presented by Universal Medicine – one of which is that the body is the marker of all truth. It certainly is.

     1. Joanne I love what you have shared here. There is no getting away from truth when the body speaks louder than any words can.

202. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.”
     How beautiful that you have made such an amazing experience in hospital and that you could regain trust. I can also confirm your observations: “It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place. – We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.”
     I was the same before I re-learned to make more self-loving choices in my daily life. And the more loving I am with me the more loving I am with others.

203. It’s fascinating how long different people can push through pain, ignoring the messages from their bodies. For some kicking their toe offers a moment to stop and reflect on how they may have been rushing or thinking of something and not fully present with themselves. Others do not stop to listen to their bodies until it is screaming at them and they are laid out incapacitated by pain, illness or disease. I think you may be right Simon when suggesting that people who push through a lot of pain and then get cranky with others are – “resisting the disease process and what it is reflecting to them about their lives ….” instead of understanding and appreciating “…that our bodies are trying to bring us back to harmony through illness”

     1. Agreed Jeanette! I used to be a person who pushed through immense pain, ignoring my body and what it was trying to say. Now, indeed… if I even slightly stub my toe I will stop and reflect on what is going on for me! I sometimes look back and marvel at the capacity I had to put my body through so much pain – it was really actually quite abusive.

        1. Yes Janeneclemence, it is great to stop and consider that putting up with that pain and ignoring the body and what it is trying to say is abusive. Self abuse.

204. When I read your words RB and see the picture of the hospital you describe, it makes me wonder, what if there is a link between how we abuse ourselves and the way we abuse others? What if that abuse is much bigger than we consider? What if it is not just ‘us’ or the person we are unfair too that we are affecting? What if it hurts everyone? and what if with every loving word we say we are actually supporting people everywhere? If we accept this as a possibility, we are faced with a great responsibility to be true in everything we do.

     1. MASSIVE responsibility!

     2. That’s a profound consideration that calls for true responsibility.

205. How lovely to feel and share from your blog that the healing of the body is interconnected with the healing of the heart, thank you RB.

206. A lovely sharing RB – thank you. Being in a hospital bed for me really brought it home how I needed to change my way of living. Having no books to read or a telephone to contact family, I closed my eyes and reflected on how and why I was in the position I was in. How could I make changes? I’m smiling now as I remember it was not long after this visit that I attended my first Universal Medicine presentation with Serge Benhayon – and I really feel that my true healing has started.

     1. Great comment Marion. When we are restricted to a hospital bed, we are confronted by are own being-ness. That can be very scary, and brings up things some people don’t want to see.

        1. Catherine, and maybe that is another reason why people react so much in hospital, because they don’t have all their usual distractions to keep them from feeling what is really going on for them.

207. Thank you for sharing RB; allowing others to care and support us is not so easy when we haven’t been this loving and caring with ourselves. I’d say this is one of the reasons patients can act out in hospitals, as they are met with their own lack of self care and responsibility? What a lovely surrendering to this care for yourself. Your appreciation of the dedicated medical staff would be very welcomed.

     1. Great insight Victoria about why people act out in hospitals and give the nurses a hard time. It should really be taught in schools that illness is the way our bodies are trying to bring us back to harmony, and that we need to learn to walk through life hand in hand with our bodies, make friends with them, listen to them and care for them deeply.

        1. I agree Josephinebe2012, instead of having to learn certain things that we never use again in life, why not teach self care.

208. As an ex RN, I am always in awe of those nurses who are amazingly patient and nurturing of people, often at their worst. It seems that those patients who are indignant and unappreciative of the hard work nurses do, are actually resisting the disease process and what it is reflecting to them about their lives. If we can appreciate that our bodies are trying to bring us back to harmony through illness, maybe we can appreciate those who are there to support that process. Otherwise, viewing illness as getting in the way of life, or bothersome, means all associated with that process are also bothersome. Perhaps such a way of understanding ‘impatient’ people, can help us to understand what stands in the way of true healing and truly living in harmony with others.

     1. Your comment is so beautiful Simon, and its great to read it from someone who has had the experience of working as an RN.

        1. I second that RB, it is great to hear from Simon as an ex RN still in awe of the amazing work and dedication of some RNs with people who are often at their worst. Where would we be in the state we are in as humanity without the care and support of those that devote themselves to looking after sick bodies and people as their profession. Up the nurses I say.

        2. What an awesome insight you share here, Simon: that those who are choosing to “view illness as getting in the way of life, or bothersome, means all associated with that process are also bothersome.” That could well be one contributing factor to why such people become ill in the first place. I wonder if those people also take longer to heal – that they obstruct their healing with the “tiresome” attitude?

     2. Great article, and follow-on comment. The line ‘If we can appreciate that our bodies are trying to bring us back to harmony through illness’: what a beautiful understanding this captures, a total re-positioning of what illness is all about.

209. Wow RB whoever you are, that blog was almost a little too familiar describing me, or at least the picture I have of myself. I haven’t been to a doctor in I don’t know how many years. I know I would like to and I feel ready so reading your blog is obviously no coincidence. What you talk about in letting people in is a big gameplayer in this next step in my life. Not that big a deal some might say but it’s more than just going to a doctor. For me it’s saying I admit I do not have all the answers and I’m not going to pretend I’m bulletproof. Just considering this makes me feel at ease, so thanks RB for sharing.

     1. Awesome! Let go of trying to be bulletproof. It is such a relief when you can really start to feel your vulnerability and allow others to see it too.

210. How I love the simplicity in your blog, RB!
     And it is like rain in the desert, that you express appreciation for the hospital’s staff.

     1. I love that expression, like rain in the desert!
        I am glad I wrote this blog and it’s interesting to see how many people have commented and feel the lack of appreciation that is offered to the hospital staff.
        It is almost like we have an expectation of them to look after us no matter what.

211. Taking responsibility for our own health is paramount in dealing with any illness or injury.

212. Thanks RB, a reminder that self care comes from many avenues. We have to be vigilant especially when it comes to pain. There is also a great learning for me in the openness in which you share.

213. Wow, this is a beautiful blog. What I responded to in this blog is the care that we are offered by the medical professionals and how, depending on where we are at, whether we can allow this care or not. I have found that the more I care for me, the more care I can allow from others. I love the sentence, “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” Is it possible that what we expect from others is actually ours to give to ourselves? This I have found to be absolutely true.

214. Great blog. It seems that some of us treat hospital staff with how we feel about “the system” rather than seeing these amazing and caring people working within an “uncaring” system.

     1. The nursing staff is unfortunately seen as disposable items in the health care organistions, much like the disposable equipment that is used these days. They are throw away items and it appears that no hospital truly tries to support their staff and listen to what comes from the shop floor. Several million dollars can be spent on a piece of equipment to attract more ‘customers’ and zero into developing nurturing and healing relationships.

     2. …and there is so much blame directed at staff. Some patients with chronic diseases can blame the hospital or staff for not “fixing” them last time they were in hospital or for not diagnosing them correctly with no responsibility taken for the choices that contribute to the conditions in the first place.

        1. So true, Lee – we have created a system where others are made responsible for our health, for our body and when it doesn’t work, they are to blame. Great little trick if you want to stay stuck in martyrdom and resignation, but what a sad existence it must be.

215. It is amazing how we trap ourselves in the pain, thinking it came, so eventually it will leave again. I too had that experience of landing in the hospital and realizing the amazing help and care that is there in offer, whilst also finding the time to realize my part in the responsibility of caring for and loving my body. Thank you RB for this great blog.

216. Being able to accept support and care from another reflects how we support and care for ourselves. A truly beautiful blog. Thank you.

217. Hello RB, I love what you are offering here with a beautifully simple blog. I also love the power of what you are offering in that the responsibility you are bringing to yourself and then to others and then what you can ‘see’ as a result. We ‘think’ we only abuse ourselves but as you are saying when we abuse ourselves in whatever moment that then is an abuse for those around us as well. Then there is the opposite, when we bring more care to ourselves and our lives we bring that care and respect to everyone and everything around us.

     1. Yes, and how beautiful it is when those around us are inspired and then start taking more care of themselves…. and it has a ripple effect… going out to our friends, family and community.

218. So true RB – “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” I’ve also observed hospital staff being treated terribly, obviously the patient treating the staff like they treat themselves at home. I will never forget the love and care I received from doctors and nurses when I had to go in for a procedure… it was an upsetting time, but I felt completely safe and able to allow myself to be cared for….I could not have asked for more.

219. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” This is beautiful RB. Is this not the true remedy for most of the world’s illness and disease?

220. I remember my first hospital experience in my 20’s when I was studying for a midwifery exam- I was quite annoyed to have to be in hospital; I didn’t want to stop and truly feel why I was made to stop; I tried to control my environment and do everything myself as much as I could- like regulate my own drip; but realised I wasn’t surrendering to the experience and trusting the staff & letting people in.-Ouch!
     I really saw how depending on how trusting and open I was the staff would be that towards me. It was a great lesson to learn about life.

221. I suppose there is an element of trusting and opening up to another that is required when we visit a doctor or go to a hospital, perhaps that is why men in particular struggle so much with this. Because it is seen as admitting defeat and showing a weakness. When in actual fact it should be seen as the strength there is in properly taking care of ourselves and from that strength be willing to trust and open up to the support of others.

     1. Good point Stephen, and I guess I struggled too for that same reason, I was always like a tom boy and tough.

222. I love what you said RB about how people just push themselves so hard and then expect others to fix them when they have completely fallen apart, and how we need to take responsibility for the fact that we are the ones that allowed our bodies to fall.

223. I have also been in this situation. Not want to self care and not wanting to see a doctor or go near a hospital. When I look back I can see the absolute craziness of continuing on in pain and suffering – and to what end? When I finally relent and go, I get to recognise that there is always so much support and care if I chose to accept it.

224. What a beautiful story of letting down your guard to allow others to care and support you. Its so sad that that is not our natural position. Happily I am getting better at this very same thing. Thanks RB.

225. I know a lot of people who would do the exact thing that you have shared RB. Many people are willing to put up with the pain or take painkillers rather then seek help for the illness. Even simply continue through work whilst sick instead of resting is along these lines as well- though on a much smaller level. I like your story of what the experience was like for you once you went to the hospital, it was great to read.

226. Thanks RB for sharing your experience of the hospital visit. I too had a stay in hospital and found that the nurses kept coming to me for a chat, and asking for personal advice. It was so lovely even though I was so unwell. They said i was the most well sick person they have ever met! I noticed that a lot of people who were in the hospital treated the nursing staff with such disrespect, and did not appreciate the care that they were receiving.

     1. Isn’t that cool… there you are feeling really ill, but to the nurses you are the most well sick person! You must be doing something right.. perhaps your way of living should be studied.

227. What an awesome lesson in the consequences of not listening to your body. A great example of when we don’t listen the messages get louder, and if we keep on ignoring them, we will be stopped! Being stopped certainly seems to have given you the opportunity to learn so much from the experience, and now you are able to share this wisdom with others.

228. It’s amazing how much we can push our bodies and how we think that we can keep going on this way with no consequences. It’s lovely to hear how your body made you listen and I can feel that this has been a turning point for you to start allowing that support.

229. Beauty-full RB. My mother has recently been in hospital and thanks to your blog I can now see the beauty of the respect which she has for the work that the staff do there! I was also blessed with understanding that those moments she does not co-operate or let staff in, it is only because she does not trust, not because she is (inherently) a difficult person. Thank you.

     1. That’s a really good point, we don’t mean to be difficult, but under all of that behaviour we just don’t trust.

230. Beautiful account here of how we ignore to not see or feel truth. And yet the body in its consistency of its love for us, continues with its communication, until we take notice, and that when we do pay attention, our entire world can change just like that!

231. Hi RB. Your blog reminded me of my visit to a doctor some years ago. I hadn’t been registered with a GP for several years previous to that point, thinking the natural, alternative medicine was the way to go and distrusting the conventional medicine. While I was in a waiting room I could feel I was beginning to feel emotional and tears started welling up. I could not understand. I was there just to get my blood tested as I was feeling my energy level had been low. By the time I got to see a doctor I was properly crying. As I sat there I felt myself shrinking and caught a glimpse of this thought: there had better be something seriously wrong with me to take up a doctor’s time and be attended and treated sufficiently. My self-worth was very close to nil. My experience of asking for help, especially to seek a medical care was totally laced with my obvious lack of love – lived and expressed. I have deep appreciation for Serge Banhayon for his support in freeing myself from this belief and pattern.

     1. Thats so lovely that you could feel all of that Fumiyo and thank you for sharing your experience. Lack of self worth is so common but no so openly discussed.

232. It’s true we do expect so much from others and often tend to blame them when things go wrong.

     1. Is that just because we don’t want to look at, and get honest with our part in the picture that got us to where ever we are at?

233. I too have been caught up in the neglect and arrogance of dismissing the benefits of western medicine. Thankfully with the support and sense of teachings of Universal Medicine, I have become aware of the importance of seeking medical advice at the earliest opportunity as a way of truly caring for myself. It’s not the whole picture and may not get to the root cause of why I’m sick or injured but is very much part of the picture in supporting us all.

234. I agree Suze T, why don’t we treat ourselves the way we appreciate being treated?

     1. Yes, I had a friend once suggest to me, to put the cream on my face as gently and as tenderly as if I were applying to one of my massage clients. It shocked me at the time, but then I realised that I often didn’t give myself that same level of care.

235. It’s so beautiful that you chose to be open, appreciate and allowed the care the nurses and doctors had to offer.

236. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves”… there is absolute wisdom in those words RB. It is time our society stepped up and committed to appreciating and caring for their own bodies as they expect the already overburdened medical system to do.

237. Wow RB… to quote you “It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.
     We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” These words are so powerful, considering our health system is close to bankruptcy. It is expected by the year 2020 diabetes alone will bankrupt the health system, and this does not mention the increase in all other physical and mental conditions. Recently there has been a shift in the medical system, asking patients to take greater responsibility for their own health and not just look to a system to fix them; often just simply changes in diet and exercise can make a huge difference. Thank you for busting the lid on this RB, this is a topic well worth further discussion.

     1. And fixing ourselves is just the beginning and if we stop there, we are seriously missing out on our potentials… which are often so much more than what our minds allow us to think.

238. Once the choice was made to support yourself, that was then reflected back to you by the wonderful nurses and doctors you experienced. Thank you for sharing a familiar story.

239. How great for the nurses and doctors to have had you – even it was just 3 days…
     It seams so normal to us to go into the world and see what we can get there…but what about what we can bring? Also with my body: I can take it as an functional thing and feel bugged if it gets out of order, so to say, instead of taking care of myself, being aware of any information the body will give me and using a lovely relationship with me to develop a lovely relationship with others and the world.

240. When we witness people being hard or judgemental or abusive to others could it be a reflection or overflow of how they are with themsleves?

241. “I am used to not caring fully for my body, to over-riding the signals it gives me and most of all, to pushing on through.” This is so relatable…. I have done the same thing as I have placed what I need to do over and above how I am. Learning to listen to my body and not override what I feel is a learning process, but so worth the effort. My health and vitality has increased dramatically and what I do is now done in a better quality.

242. ‘……..it was lovely because I could really feel how much they cared. I watched how some of the other patients treated these nurses and doctors with such disrespect. It saddened me to hear how they were spoken too. I can understand it is hard when you are in a lot of pain, but that gives no excuse to abuse the staff who work long hard hours to care for us. It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’
     This excerpt or a similar message needs to be posted in every hospital room in the world. Recently when visiting a family member in hospital I was awe-struck at just how much the nurses and doctors cared. RB, unguarded tenderness and integrity come through in what you write here. Not only do you give credit to deserving hospital staff, you also call all potential patients to consider their role in healing both before or during a hospital stay- thank you.

243. This is a great reflection for me about allowing the support that is there for us all the time.
     For me, I feel that in the past I have not wanted to know the damage that I have caused to myself and take responsibility for it.
     What I have also experienced is that at the moment I do allow the support, there is a huge relief, something that I don’t have to cover up, hide or deal with myself any more. I can be real and allow other to support me in the process of healing.

244. Thank you RB for this revealing personal story and in the end it is the story of all of us. Today I can see how supporting and loving it can be to be helped from another people. Lets really appreciate this!

245. Thanks RB, I too have struggled to tough it out but wow so unnecessary! So beautiful to just surrender and be vulnerable and allow people to lovingly support us as they are so willing to do..

246. It’s amazing how we resist the signs that our body clearly shows us constantly. What a difference self love and self care makes to our health and true well being .

247. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.”….Through attending workshops at Universal Medicine, I too have been learning more and more about letting people in and it is a life-changer. RB, thank you for sharing your story and when I read it I was reminded that every moment / ever interaction is an opportunity to let people in. Cool heh.

248. It is so beautiful to read, through your experience how you allowed people in, to trust and to receive support. It is also a great reminder for us to listen to what our body is telling us and to seek medical help if we feel something is not right before it gets too serious.

249. Beautiful, a great sharing on how both conventional and Universal Medicine work together to support the body in healing what is needed.
     I know for me I would not have been able to heal my body in the way I have without the support of both.

250. As a natural therapist I occasionally hear stories of people avoiding medical treatment even when their symptoms are severe. In one case, the outcome was tragic with the death of a young man who refused to seek medical help.
     It does not need to be a case of natural v’s conventional medicine and we need to be practical when deciding which type practitioner to consult. Symptoms can always be checked and treated by a qualified medical practitioner, and natural medicine can support a return to good health and a better understanding of our own responsibility in maintaining good health – both working together.

251. Thank you RB, I can relate to going through a time when I was so against putting any conventional medicines in my body to the point where I refused the anaesthetic at the dentists even though I had my teeth drilled, and other times where I would put off going to see a doctor till the last possible minute. I was in so much fear of conventional medicine and drugs and felt my body was too sensitive to it. Eventually I came to realise that medicine has a place and that no matter how sensitive your body is, there is a way to work with it and a place and a time for medications too. Thank goodness for this – there comes a point where you realise it is abusive to not take a painkiller or to get the right medical support as needed. Today I hold a healthy balance between conventional medicine use and natural medicine use and am very much at ease with both, though always being responsible in the way I would use both and doing the back ground checks on the drugs as well as the natural medicines to ensure that I am taking them for the right reason and that the ingredients are not going to cause any dangerous or allergic reactions. It feels great to be in a space where I allow myself the support from both of these medicines.

     1. Why not have the best of both worlds!

252. I was fortunate to witness nurses speaking to some students last year it was amazing…how you could see and feel their deep level of care is not only for there patients but for us all… I watched as the room grew warmer frowns were replace by smiles and the spark in their eyes returned, we all felt their love and care

253. What you describe here is so common, that we often are used to override our pain. And very true, we expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves. This behavior often leads to this desperate search of the perfect doctor or practitioner who is able to heal instantly, instead of looking at one’s own choices, take responsibility for them and then take wisely the medication doctors offer.

254. Without self love and responsibility to ourselves and then others we unfortunately create the situation that exists with an ever growing health epidemic. Most of us want a quick solution to our illness without pondering to truly understand how we got there and how big our responsibility is to self care is.

255. Amazing how much we can resist to take care of ourselves, the hardness we go in to simply go on and pretend that we are okay. What could be seen as simply a stupid behaviour goes much deeper as we keep ourselves closed to love and intimacy with self and others.

     1. Oh yes Alex, I have been an expert at being hard and pretending I am okay. What a lie I was living!

256. Working within the health care system has shown me that there are so many sides to health care, which has been covered in its various angles in the above comments. What I have really taken away from RB’s comments is the part about allowing others in and accepting what they are offering. I know I am most comfortable being the ‘giver’ but still have a long way to go in regards to letting others in.

257. Healthcare unfortunately has become a money making industry, and in business, it’s about the bigger profits year to year, so there is little emphasis to truly prevent. Maybe it’s because the government just doesn’t know what to do, but I know one thing and that is Universal Medicine knows.

     1. Very true Mathew, Universal Medicine does know and they also hold everyones business as equal to them. What is great about Universal medicine is that they continue to work on quality and integrity throughout their whole organisation.

     2. Yes, Mathew it has become a money making industry, and in my experience as a nurse this has caused a lot of changes in the way we are able to nurse. ( time, etc) however meeting each patient for who they are is first and foremost

258. As a nurse it was really interesting reading about your first hospital visit. The hospital staff are so caring, and it is lovely to hear that being valued. You have shared from your experience what I feel the hospital experience is all about. Opening up, sharing with each other and allowing/giving support. Your story also highlighted how we are all responsible for the hospital experience we have and as a patient we have much to contribute.

     1. Thank you RB and Fiona for this beautiful appreciation of the true care that is there in our health professionals. I have worked in Physiotherapy in many hospitals in Australia and overseas and there is a common theme. 99% of the health care professionals are truly there to care for others. Too many times media delights in portraying the malpractising doctor or practitioner – how wonderful for us all if more stories such as RB’s experience in hospital which are very common were broadcast. I especially loved reading when RB came to :
        ‘ It made me aware of how so many of us abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.’ Our health systems would be far less loaded financially and physically if we all took more care and responsibility in how we treat ourselves.

259. Beautiful RB, thank you for sharing this most relatable account of what takes place day in day out of our healthcare systems. To feel your stop and feel moment is truly valuable for all.

260. It is good to stop and challenge the choices we can make from habit, as these are the ones that so often have been modelled and pushed by the world we live in and the family around us. For what purpose does it serve to over-ride pain in our bodies and even more so try to hide, numb, and block it with the help of pain relief. I too have been guilty of this and realised from your blog RB, that I am robbing my self of some amazing and life changing experiences. Going the ‘Way of the World’ supports remaining closed down and separate. Every moment is a new opportunity to do it differently – Today I choose to listen to my body and through that be all of the love I am. Thanks RB for the reminder

261. What I can feel while reading your blog is that the healthcare is something we should be a lot more appreciated. And that it starts with feeling and accepting that you need them, and fully appreciate all care.

262. I was just feeling this today, how it is a loving commitment to treat others how you appreciate being treated.

263. It can be a challenging experience for anyone going into hospital. We do however set ourselves up for this as they can also be amazing places to rest and recover when we need to and medical staff are there to assist us if we let them. You surrendering to what your body needed and remaining open whilst in hospital is what supported you in your recovery. Many people are unable to do and end up using the system to their own advantage, but no real benefit to their health and wellbeing.

264. Thank you RB for your blog. I also go slow in seeking a doctor on what I call small issues, which in fact are quite big issue. I tended to think that all will be OK. I have learned that is also beautiful to allow others to care for me while taking full responsibility for my body.

265. What a great blog, that covers so many areas…It is so easy to not take responsibility for our own wellbeing and then plonk ourselves in front of a doctor, nurse, or other health care provider and expect a ‘magic pill’ only to go back into our old patterns and behaviours that helped us get sick in the first place, once we are feeling better. I know this so well as I have done it myself and sometimes even continue to do this even now. This is such an arrogant way to be with ourselves it is no wonder then that that arrogance is then projected onto the medical staff, who then get worn out and have to leave the system altogether by resigning. It was really lovely to read how open and trusting you allowed yourself to be when you were so vulnerable. I am sure the medical staff caring for you appreciated being able to care for such a lovely patient.

266. What you share here is so true RB and Matthew…
     The health system actually encourages people to not take responsibility as staff take on the role of fixers rather than presenting the truth of what is happening.
     Having been on the receiving end of numerous frustrated patients and relatives conversations, it is beautiful when someone like yourself RB appreciates and respects everyone equally.
     How different would the health system be if all were equal…

267. You are correct RB about people wanting to be fixed by the system. Many people take no responsibility in the way they live. It has become a reciprocal relationship where doctors and nurses are not being the point of reflection in stating this fact and at very least initiating these conversations with patients. How is patching up preventable injuries like fractures, cuts or concussion from the sport or alcohol use, then getting you back doing the same thing in record time, healing. Is this not aiding in the self abuse.

268. Thank you RB. I learned over the last few years to deeply appreciate the work of the doctors and nurses I came in contact with. They do an amazing job. As you so beautifully said, I feel too that I simply allowed them more in and let them care for me while taking full responsibility for my body. And, when we do so, they feel it.

269. You raise so many great points in this blog. So many people would have the same experience as you of not listening to their bodies, putting up with pain etc simply because of the mistaken belief that something else or someone else is more important than you. As somone who works in a hospital I see the end result of that behaviour on a daily bases and I can tell you it is not worth it.

270. Thank-you for sharing your experience in hospital RB, your comment “we expect so much from others yet we don’t even give that to ourselves” is so true of myself in the past. Up until becoming a student of Universal Medicine that is, now I am willing to accept that I am worth caring for and the responsibility it takes in doing that.

271. It’s great to express the fact that self abuse comes in the form of self neglect. This message of not providing yourself what is needed to support your body is so very powerful.

272. I can relate to allowing myself to be cared for in a hospital situation. One becomes truly grateful when, often at a vulnerable time, medical staff take such great care of us. Great sharing, thank you.

273. Wow what an incredible sharing. I love how you gained a greater awareness of listening to your body but also about people “wanting to be fixed”. As a nurse who encounters this often, this is a game changer if people could understand that we are actually responsible for ourselves.

274. Having been at the hospital myself I feel so much appreciation for the doctors and the nurses. The amount of hours they work, the workload they have is immense. It is time to start a nursing/doctors appreciation program in each hospital.

275. It sounds like letting people in, trusting more and opening your heart was the real medicine!!

276. I too had an experience in hospital about 2 years ago, and having rejected western medicine for many years prior to that, I was really given the opportunity and experience to appreciate the care and support I received from the hospital staff and nurses. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate this RB.

277. I so understand what you are saying here. I was one of those difficult people you speak of. About 12 years ago I had an operation which was the result of my own and my doctors negligence. I was quite angry about my situation and my stay in hospital was tainted with this. My experience was of no one there to attend me when I was in serious pain, continually ringing for help and even having to get out of bed and walking down the hallway to seek assistance. The nurses had little time to give and felt too stressed to really care, and I showed my displeasure with this treatment. Perhaps a reflection of my own lack of self care and my closed off angry attitude. Ten years later, the same hospital but a new me, post Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, recuperating from another operation. I could not have asked for more caring attentative nursing. My joy and understanding of my situation was entirely different and I welcomed my stay in hospital, my openness and appreciation of all that was done for me reflected in the care I received. In the past I also found it hard to trust and to let people in but with my second stay in hospital I let go of that and like yourself I had a beautiful experience. The joy that is given and received when we open ourselves and let others in is truly healing and exquisitely beautiful.

278. It is incredible how much we rely on the medical profession to be some type of super-heroes when our pain or illness means we need their support. At 53 years of age I have not spent more than one day in hospital, but even on those single day surgeries I remember thinking how challenging it must be for those people who dedicate their lives to helping others, must at times almost become numb to the anguish and distress many patients have. I love that you have opened the door for everyone to participate in their recovery, even if that is simply by being kind to the hospital staff.

279. I love your sharing RB. Reading your blog, I couldn’t help but melt deeper into my body – thank you x

280. This is a beautiful insightful sharing to read RB – thank you for making it so accessible.

281. I love your blog RB and the offering for everyone as we expect to be fixed by something whithout truly taking responsibility for ourselves first and getting that bad to need it so desperately . I love how you show how opening up to allow others in and allowing that love for yourself first also is beautiful and what a great learning and inspiration.Thank you.

282. Expecting so much from others but we don’t even give that to ourselves – this sentence really shone out for me this morning as I re-read your blog. Now to truly feel what is required, for myself and for others.

283. I wonder what it must feel like to be a doctor, and to see patient after patient who simply thinks that the doctor must have all the answers to their ills, and some patients who think that the doctor is somehow at fault if he or she does not have an answer. In this way it is as if our bodies are somehow separate from us, nothing to do with how we live, and are more like a machine that we can hand over to an expert to be fixed. There is no room for self responsibility in this model, nor for self care.

284. Great that you highlight the abuse many medical staff are subjected to daily in their calling to care for patients. It’s too often that true appreciation for the level of support, medical excellence and patient care received is missing from the equation. When did we as a society decide it was OK to abuse someone whose sole motivation is to help you out of your pain and suffering? To me that’s one skewed payback strategy for their kindness and assistance. As you say, ‘no excuse’.

285. Thank you RB
     “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.”What a great revelation and learning I love this and am learning to let people in also and the joy it brings is beautiful.

286. My first experience was when I was around 7 when I had my tonsils out. I actually loved my time in the hospital. There was so many toys to play with and the nurses where really friendly. I also use to visit my cousin in hospital on a regularly basis as she suffered from sickle cells, so for me it was a fun place as we had so many toys to play with. They use to have a rocking horse and I could sit on there for hours it was my farvorite toy.

287. Thank you RB for sharing. I find that by appreciating what conventional medicine can offer but yet accepting it has limitations this allows me to be open to all they do for my physical body and realise there is more to the illness or disease and I am responsible for caring about myself first. By acknowledging what a great service they bring to them and expressing how I know am responsible for my healing I find they engage with time and care.

288. Thank you RB for sharing. I recently had an experience when taken to the A & E for an ECG, blood work and an X-Ray and the care and service was first rate. They had the upmost of patience with everyone, even though they were working flat out and were expecting even more patients with it being New Years Eve. As Jonathan has stated “a real eye-opener”.

289. Let’s never underestimate the opportunities presented in our everyday interactions with everybody. Either we think small and manage each moment in compliance with social norm, expectation and rules, or we expand into the fullness of relationship, true connection and enjoy all that we have to offer and are offered.

     More and more I am allowing the latter to be my way and am finding that every one of these moments expands the opportunities in the next.

     1. Thank you, Matilda, for reminding me to never underestimate the opportunities presented in our everyday interactions with everybody and the choices we have in our approach to these interactions. I too am finding that the “more I am allowing the latter to be my way…every one of these moments expands the opportunities in the next.” It’s such an amazing unfolding.

     2. And when we close down, and keep others out, we all miss out big time.

290. Thank you RB, I can really relate to what you say here. On the very rare occasions that I have been to Hospital, I have always been astonished at the level of care and commitment on hand there. The shear dedication of the nurses and doctors is always a real eye-opener to me.

291. It was great to read your story again, RB. The part where you learnt some of the hospital staff’s story made me smile as it reminded me that when I take the time to talk to other people, it reminds me that the world doesn’t revolve around me me me…
     It helped me realise that no one is anti-people. There’s a small nugget in everyone that loves human interaction, no matter how hurt they may be, and given the opportunity, we’re all itching to let it out. 🙂

292. RB I’ve put off going to the doctors about something I thought was trivial yet reading this and with how I’ve been reflecting the past few days I see the importance of accepting that support as part of the treatment. Thank you.

293. This is so gorgeous RB. A beautiful lesson in allowing and appreciating care from others, and the importance of our own self-care.

294. If we develop an appreciative relationship with ourselves then every moment offers us opportunities to feel the wonder of life at play: in our interactions with everyone we meet in the day; in the responsibility with which we choose every step, thought and action, and in our ability to hold humanity in our hands as we go about our daily lives.

295. I remember my first hospital experience RB. I was 8, and just about to tuck in to my favourite meal when I was taken to hospital to have my tonsils out (there was a cancellation) Pre operation they gave me a spoonful of ‘jam’, which the nurse said would taste lovely, (a sedative?)It was horrible. And no one told me how sore my throat would be afterwards. I felt betrayed. So I didn’t have a lot of trust in hospitals until over 40 years later. It was still sudden, another cancellation, but the surgeon had explained the procedure fully, and I felt fully supported by the nursing staff, who were so gentle and caring, in control of what was happening, and knowing that I would take an active part in my recovery. That made it a beautiful experience that I appreciate still.

296. Thank you RB for sharing your hospital experience and your learning about letting people in to your heart and your life, about trusting and allowing them to help you, and the joy and healing this can bring. Very inspirational, appreciation is important and should be very much part of life.

297. It feels like each moment is a tremendous opportunity to show appreciation for others, particularly if like Doctors and Nurses, people are treating them poorly it is all the more important that we offer them that appreciation for the job they do.

     1. Very true Stephen. In every moment, with every interaction we have the opportunity to appreciate in the other person the quality of love that they bring.
        Whenever we have such confirmation we get inspired to build on this. We can of course provide this for ourself by making a point of appreciating ourselves, but it is also great when it comes from another person. In a society where self-deprecation as well as a lack of appreciation of others is the ‘norm’ how wonderful it would be if we made a point of appreciating and confirming lovely things about others whenever we see it.

        1. Working in the health care myself I feel how important it is to appreciate myself for who I am and from there for what I do. Most of the people working in the healthcare have problems with their self worth. I was a living example of that, Since I met Serge Benhayon I learned it is al about living the love that is inside me and appreciation is a great tool in this.

     2. Very true Stephen, they deserve huge appreciation! Not least to offset the abuse they receive from some quarters.

     3. I agree Stephen, acknowledging people in this way can bring amazing results and you never know how far those words of appreciation will travel. For anyone that has a job dealing with the public, there will always be one common issue-the public!!

     4. I agree, but also see how we can actually bring this level of appreciation to all people in our lives. I know that I have often thought about people, but held back or not really expressed how much I do actually appreciate having them in my life, even if it is only for a short moment. And I guess it’s not even about what they do, but just how lovely my day can be by having them in it.

298. We all need to give a lot more Love and Appreciation including myself to health care workers as they do an amazing job under ridiculous pressures. Such inspiring people that really do deserve our respect and openness. Well in Truth if we were like this with everyone in the world that we came into contact with; then it would be completely different place to live in. I have started to take the time and consideration of how I am with others and have noticed a huge difference in my all relationships – including strangers that I meet along the way. Thanks to treating myself with a deeper sense of self worth, care and respect I can now share that with others. I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to have this relationship with myself which I wouldn’t change for the world.

     1. I agree with you Natalie all the health care workers can be treated with more respect and love. My doctor didn’t know where to look when I expressed my appreciation last week for her being there and listening. She said it was a completely new sound for her.

        1. When I go to the dentist I always take a pillow to support my neck and head. My dentist is always very respectful of this. Recently I even took my own music which he was pleased for me to play. As I left I thanked him for his care, He acknowledged my comment but somehow I didn’t feel he had ‘taken it on board’. As I listed some of his gentle ways which I appreciated, I felt he was appreciating himself on a different level.

        2. Yes Monika I’m sure it was a surprise for her. How lovely that you were able to do this. It is important to express our appreciation whenever we can. When an extraordinary young GP left our health clinic, I wrote to him to thank him for being who he was; gentle, listening, compassionate; insightful – the only GP I know who asked his patients to reflect on what was making them ill, not just prescribing drugs.

     2. Just a bit of a fellow nod to Natalie’s quote, ‘I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to have this relationship with myself which I wouldn’t change for the world.’ And a moment of appreciation for how far I, and so many others I have met, have come, endlessly supported by Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine.

299. Wow I just saw the string of behaviour patterns that ensures we have an awful time:
     1- We abuse our own bodies, and then end up in hospital and expect someone else to fix us, without taking any responsibility for what brought us there in the first place.
     2- We expect from others, what we don’t even give to ourselves.
     3- We resist the care that they offer, fight and are not open to receiving them and what they bring
     4- to top it all we get grumpy and abusive in our behaviour with our carers
     I can’t believe that used to be my normal! Very different learning to honour and listen to my body, to be open with my request for assistance and to accept the love and care when it is offered.

     1. Great comment Golnaz. I recognise how my normal has changed so much as I have taken more responsibility for my health and the choices I make in life.

     2. I can relate to your checklist Golnaz! However,my sense of raging at the world for landing me up in hospital, would soon evaporate, when confronted with the selfless caring that personifies the hospital staff.

     3. Great list Golnaz. When you lay it out like that it sounds so ridiculous and arrogant. That used to be my normal too before I started to love and care for myself in a way that I didn’t even feel was possible which then leads to loving and caring for others too.

     4. You got it there! Imagine what it must be like to work as a nurse or a doctor and get blamed for something that is not even your responsibility and get all that anger and frustration thrown at you so to speak.

        1. I’ve been on both ends – either not looking after myself and not listing to my body so I end up needing the emergency care of the medical system. And also as part of the health system having to deal with people who have been in pain/ill health for days, weeks, sometimes even months who come in, are angry and agitated and expect to be seen IMMEDIATELY so they can be fixed.
           After attending Universal Medicine workshops I have learnt to get in touch with my body, how it feels, how to care and nurture it. I most definitely visit the doctor now when I first feel something is a miss rather than months down the track. And most importantly I ask myself what is my body telling me. How have I been living for this to be happening.

300. I always wanted to be the giver so that I was not in debt to anyone. This is all about control. As I let people in more and more, as I am honest with myself and others about my mistakes, as I let others support and hold me; the truth about relationship, brotherhood and humanity is revealed. We are in this together, equally responsible and equally beautiful. I cannot hold relationships in the force and control of a one way street. Thank you RB and all for sharing the power of being open to receiving.

     1. Matilda what a beautiful expression of equality.

     2. Matilda I love your expanding on the beauty in being open to letting people in and receiving. And the force and control that is in just focusing on giving. Lovely insight. Thank you.

     3. This is one I can relate to too. Control seems so much easier, but in truth it requires a whole lot more effort and everything is so strained and pressured that actually no one gains.

     4. Matilda this is so beautiful. ‘We are in this together, equally responsible and equally beautiful’ Wow.

     5. Beautifully said Matilda and I can so relate what you say to the issue of trust. For most of my life I have allowed this form of control by not letting me trust either myself or others. But as I allow myself to trust more and let other people in, I too can see the beauty of humanity and equality in being open.

     6. Simply expressed Matilda and powerful: ‘We are in this together equally responsible, and equally beautiful’

     7. Matilda how insightful this is ‘I’ve always wanted to be the giver so that I was not in debt to anyone. This is all about control’. In my own experience often when I have given it was because wanted something – to be liked, loved or accepted. Now I’m learning that giving is a sharing of ourselves but without expectations.

     8. I can completely resonate with what you share I too was a giver and a contolling person, it was safer that way so I thought. But as I have let go of all of that and started to let people in, it is more beautiful and the weight off my shoulders has gone.

301. It is true that people often do not look after their bodies and then visit the hospital or doctor is a last resort when either the pain or lack mobility has gotten too much to bear. I have not had a lot of experience of hospitals, other than having children and at these times, I really appreciated the support and care I received. I would always be open to visiting the GP or hospital, if I feel it is necessary but I am also definitely committed to look after my body and being health aware. Using the system only when the results of a lack of self care become unmanageable does not feel like a long term solution. Thank you for sharing your experience.

     1. Thank you RB. your story tells us how important it is to listen to our bodies and not wait until there is a crisis.. A few years ago I was presenting a course to hospital medics and administrators when my eye began to bleed internally. I had noticed dark shadows in my eyes before but had ignored them. They ( the medics) knew exactly what had happened and sent me off to Accident and Emergency at the eye hospital. When told I needed an emergency operation to repair a torn retina I tried to delay the surgery as I was going to a Unimed Workshop the next day. Health workers had to almost tie me down to stop me from leaving the hospital. This is the danger being so out of touch with our bodies that we stop feeling what is going on.

302. Expectations. Hmm. I know this one only too well. Learning to let go of these and trust in the flow of life, as long as I choose to connect with myself. If I’m not present with my choices then I am shown by my body and life events how I have disconnected. This seems especially true of Internet technology for me just now. All life is a reflection for me to see my choices. Then I can choose to change, or not. My choice, so I can’t blame anyone, which is what I used to do, before being inspired by Universal Medicine presenters, practitioners and events.

303. RB you have it the nail on the head. I love ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ – this is soooo true. For me I have been like that my whole life waiting for others to jump through hoops and prove themselves to me before I will even consider trusting them. I can see that this is what I have been like with myself my whole life. Once I attended Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon’s presentations I have been inspired to let my Love out and let Love in. Letting Love rule all these expectations drop away and I am left with an openness with myself and others.

304. I love this line, ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ Crazy but True.

305. Beautiful sharing RB thank you. I can relate to this and have had many hospital experiences in my life and look at and appreciate the care more and more now than ever before. True appreciation for others definitely comes from appreciation and care of self first.

306. “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.”
     This is huge, we are raised looking out for others to help us on our way, sometimes even pander to our every need. Seldom are we taught to nurture ourselves in a loving way. If we were I believe the burden on our health care systems would be nothing like the situation we unfortunately find ourselves in now.

307. ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ This feels like one of the keys to truly understanding ourselves; that what we expect from others will always be unrealistic when we are not prepared to build a foundation of care and respect for ourselves.

308. Listening to what our bodies tell us is vital to keep us well, and when it gives us a message when all is not well, listening and honouring that is even more important, even when we do have to ask for help.

309. It’s interesting how we push through pain sometimes when the body is so obviously saying to us something is wrong. It’s like we think we can do anything and any pain is a weakness in us that should be overcome rather than seeing it as our body sharing that perhaps we need to look at this thing we are doing a bit differently.

310. LIght bulb moment Gill! Sometimes what I label as independence IS self abuse.

311. I could have gone on trying to be superwoman, coping with everything alone, my reward being a hypothetical badge of honour for getting through another day without needing to bother or trouble anyone else. The family I have found in the students of Universal Medicine and the Way of the Livingness have inspired me to melt my hardness (for that is what all that coping was), surrender to the sweetness of asking for help and accept and appreciate the power of not soldiering on in isolation. Whilst superwoman still lingers in the wings I am getting to know true brotherhood.

312. It’s amazing how sometimes something we avoid and really don’t want to happen turns out to be so different. It is lovely how you allowed others to help you and how you opened your heart and experienced the joy that this can bring.

313. Great blog – thankyou RB – ” I am used to not caring fully for my body, to over-riding the signals it gives me and most of all, to pushing on through” This is a pattern I used to have also, but am giving it the boot. Listening to early warning signs now means I don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to bring me to a big stop. I meet so many people who are disregarding these signs it seems like an epidemic. Yet were we taught to honour our bodies? I think not. I love your sentence “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting…” A big yes to that, for me to open my heart more too.

314. So many issues brought up here – I love the part where you are honest and aware enough to say it would have been easy for you to resist the care that was on offer. I feel this is something we have all become good at, we are taught its a dog eat dog world out there, and we learn not to trust others, but often at our own expense. It is incredible what is on offer out there and what support is all around us should we choose to look, ask and accept it.

315. Great sharing to reread and endorse the care that we need to give to both ourselves and others and to be able to learn to receive this also.
     To bring the focus of trusting and true love in our lives is an amazing gift.
     It is with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that this awareness and love comes through true inspiration.

316. Your article reminds me of some wise words my mother shared many, many years ago. We all have to put our contribution into the pot of life, sometimes it is you that will be receiving support from others and sometimes it will be you offering support to others. We have to learn to offer and receive support with the same love and grace.

317. We can expect more from others than we are prepared to do for ourselves. Looking after our bodies and taking responsibility is a very important part of helping us stay well, or if we do get sick, helping us to fully heal.

318. Any sharing of how to get out of that push and drive that ignores our bodies’s signs and pleas is gratefully received. Thank you.

319. My hospital experiences recently have been of a dedicated and friendly staff struggling to give a good service against all the pressures of overload, under staffing and under funding. I always tell them I appreciate their caring and their expertise in their job, I feel it is important to do this, for as you say, RB, they are often taken for granted or treated with disrespect. To be open and trust helps them to return in kind and do a better job, and also brings love into a working day that can become very tiring and depressing. We all need to support and respect each other, whatever role we are in.

320. My first hospital experience was as a 10 year old, breaking my arm after a fall off my sisters bike. The pain I felt was horrendous, and I could not stop crying.
     My arm was set and plastered, I thought I could now go home, only to be told I would have to stay in hospital for a week. It took me along time to get over the hurt and pain.
     Looking back years later, it made me realise that there are people in this world that suffer pain more than I did.

     1. Mike, your comment reminded me of a similar experience when I was 10. The feeling of having to stay in hospital was terrifying. The nurses were kind but I still felt a long way from home but as I accepted the loving care and got to know a few of the other children it became more of an enjoyable experience.

321. Well said Gill. A year ago I thought I was having a weird period for about 4 or 5 weeks until I finally got it checked out after feeling pretty rough and had nasty bleeding. I was pregnant but I knew something was very wrong. When I went for the next available scan I was sent immediately for emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy to be removed.

     Like you found RB the staff were AMAZING, all of them. I especially appreciated the ones who literally held my hand through part of the night because I was in a lot of pain and the concern was the pregnancy would burst and then I’d be in serious trouble.

     The hospital I know has a very very limited budget and whenever I hear locals talk about it nothing but bad things are said. At first they struggled to find a bed for me. Despite the staff seeing many patients in similar situations, the staff really understood that for me this was a big deal. They were so warm and supportive.

     I too was surprised at how some patients were rude to the staff but a lot were very grateful of their care. The experience really taught me that people, given half a chance, love to help another. It may sound slightly crazy but I remember that time in hospital fondly because of the support ! received.

322. I still find myself tentative when allowing myself to be supported by other people; or not so much tentative anymore, but clumsy, since it is something I have not done a lot of in life so far. However the impact when I do is huge and a testament to the fact that holding ourselves as islands in life is counter to our natural way of being. We are a team, each person as equally important and precious as anyone else, and that the giving and receiving is true relationship, which is pretty much the complete answer to the disharmony we are experiencing in the world today.

     1. I agree Matilda, I find asking for help quite difficult, like its an imposition on other people. But when I do ask, it often actually works out amazingly, and helps to deepen the relationship, because a lot of trust is associated with asking someone for help, a trust of the other person, a trust of the relationship and a trust in yourself.

     2. I used to think that asking for help was an imposition. And I have seen people begrudgingly give help because they feel obligated to be a ‘good person’ and always help when asked. I have assumed this has clouded my asking for help and used to have to say to myself that that person has the ability to say no.

        But there is so much more to this because, in asking for help, I am accepting that I am worth helping and that we all share a caring for one another that actually people love to help another. I know I do. The joy I have in knowing directions to somewhere when someone is lost and I can give them directions that i know will get them there feels wonderful. Rather than fear the begrudge helper I am realizing writing this, that I am in fact giving a person the opportunity to feel the joy of helping another when I ask for their help.

        When I had had an operation and needed help lifting my bag onto trains it opened up a great opportunity to connect with people I would otherwise have not spoken to. I know they felt joyful not only in the meeting but the helping out of another.

     3. Loved that Matilda. I used to find it hard to accept help, leave alone ask for it! But now I do accept what is offered, and ask too, and it feels much more harmonious and complete that striving to do it all myself

323. A great reminder of how easy it is to override what the body is telling us, until it gives us such a thwack that we have no choice but to stop and listen. The body’s way of enforcing ‘responsibility’ on us. Good that you call out the abuse and disrespect too often meted out to those in the medical profession when merely trying to support us on our road to recovery.

     1. I agree Cathy, I am working on an arrogance that I can get through whatever pain without asking for support, and my body is giving me messages that that is abuse to continue that. So learning not to override the body’s message until the message is really loud is a great lesson, and less pain too!

324. Thank you RB for sharing your experience. We are supported in many different ways if we just allow it, starting with supporting ourselves. I am learning that true support comes hand in hand with responsibility. It is my responsibility to ask for help or continue to suffer.

325. I have noticed how easy it is to just get on with work instead of deeply taking care of myself after an injury, or even putting my body in an awkward or uncomfortable position that is straining. It’s like I numb myself by getting into my head about getting the job done before honoring how my body truly feels at that moment.

326. Great Blog RB – there are many dedicated individuals in hospitals that I have met that take much care in how they help and support the patients in their care. It seems they are torn between providing this care and getting people out as quickly as possible to meet targets and bed space requirements.

327. My experience of hospitals is positive as well, I have always had attentive joyful staff who are very open to talk to you if you ask of this, the care I have felt at hospital has been so unlike what you hear and the perceptions you get from listening to others horror stories or the media’s portrayal of hospitals. I find them truly interesting and amazing the way they work.

328. Thank you RB for such an inspirational blog.

329. “Trusting and allowing people in” has always been an issue for me too RB.
     I am discovering that letting go of ‘I can manage this myself’ and asking for help can indeed lead to more joy in my life.

330. Loving other people and being loved back is what all of us from the depth of our being wants. You would expect that we would be embracing any opportunity to be caring and loving with others, and we would eagerly open up to receiving love and care that is offered us. But we seem to mostly do the exact opposite!
     I just saw how comical it is that we even can go to the doctor, hospital, healing session asking for assistance, but then we can resist the care that we are offerered, fight and not be open to receiving them and what they bring. I have certainly done this many times. It was great to read how in this visit to the hospital you learned more about letting people in and allowing them to help you, and the joy and healing this can bring.

331. Thank you RB for your blog. I can relate to finding it difficult to ask for help and then accepting it when it is offered. I find I am more than willing to jump in and help others but am not as quick to ask for myself – working on that one.

332. I too am learning the importance of asking for help and allowing others to help me. Through reading your blog and all the comments I can feel how life can flow more easily when we are open to one another. You sum it up well in your last sentence.

333. Thank you so much for your blog RB. I love how you say, ‘I could also see how easy it could be for me to resist the care that they were offering, to fight and not be open to receiving them and what they brought’. I can very much feel the surrender to trusting that you initiated, so opening the way for ever more connection and love the flow in the world. Beautiful!

     1. I loved your blog RB and thank you too Lyndy – I could feel just how precious it is when we are willing to be open, to surrender and to receive from others.

334. An amazing article, it was a pleasure to read your experiences as I can relate to parts of it. Thank you for sharing.

335. A great article thanks for sharing

336. Hi RB great that through your journey you were able to come to realisations about self care versus self abuse. It is interesting how we do expect others to fix us so we can go back to living what caused the problem in the first place! I loved the fact that your were able to open up to the hospital staff and really appreciate the loving care they provide. Thank you for your blog which showed us responsibility for ourselves and how we live is absolutely the key.

337. Thank you for sharing this lovely article RB!

     1. Yes, Jane that’s an interesting point…we don’t consider how we are living effects our health or even how our choices might even impact those that care for us. I know that I have taken it for granted that there are willing doctors and nursers who will just be there. Even with the NHS at stretching point, I don’t recall any mention in the media how the medical profession is coping with this pressure or being supported through it? In fact quite the opposite, much of the current media articles and bulletins are full of criticism and judgement. This must in itself contribute to extra strain, stress and a lack of well being for all staff in the medical profession.

        1. I totally agree Rachel, there is so much pressure on the NHS staff to ‘deliver’ not just from patients, but from management structures and the targets which they set.

           But in my experience, both as a patient and escort to a 90 yr old, I have only been met with priceless care and attention.

338. Hi RB, you make some great points about how we abuse how bodies and then expect someone else to fix the problem. And usually, when that problem is fixed we go back to living exactly the same way that caused the problem in the first place. Responsibility is the key word here and until we want to take full responsibility for our actions we will always have problems that need ‘fixing’.

     1. Yes exactly Tim.. The way of thinking that its ok to use our bodies with little to no care because we expect someone or something will fix it if it goes wrong, has much of humanity suffering preventable illnesses and the health services are stretched beyond their limits.

     2. It is plain for us to see. In the UK we bemoan the failings of the NHS (a remarkable free health care service for all), and yet take little or no responsibility for taking true care of ourselves. More often than not we then become part of the problem, rather than part of a tide change that elevates the pressure on an unbelievably over-burdened institution.

339. I too am learning Gill and what is lovely like RB I have found lots of beautiful people more than willing to support me and love and care for me. After all it is our natural way to be and when we allow our selves to be supported it actually allows others to be that. Win win.

     1. Hi agree Gill and Vanessa – most of my life I have tried to do it alone, not wanting to bother others when I need help. And then when I finally ask for it being reluctant to fully accept what is being offered. Slowly I am learning to accept the love and support from others and yes Gill ‘ignoring the issue is self abuse’.

340. It is important to consider how much our lack of self care impacts on how we use the medical system and also how it can be deluded by not being aware or honest with how our body feels. Thank you for sharing your experience of learning to listen and feel your body with more awareness and also you observations of how the medical staff responded and worked.

341. Yes, how when we get sick we don’t want to look at how we have been living … why we have got sick in the first place.

     1. vicky cooke, I’m all too familiar with this double-edged sword. It’s true though, we don’t want to look at what made us sick in the first place and quite often keep doing that which made us sick after we’re well again to do it! It just doesn’t make sense.

     2. That is a very good point Vicky.

342. Yes its very strange Mary how we fail to grasp the connection with how we live each day and then how our bodies feel as a consequence. I too know people who have suffered enormous pain and discomfort and had major surgery and still expect the doctors to sort it out, but never once question their own behaviour and attitudes towards their bodies.

     1. The most common thing I hear with Cancer is that is a lottery, random can happen to anyone. And while we ignore the facts that 80% are lifestyle related – thats a stat from an article I read from memory – we will continue to see the rise of disease. I have a macmillian coffee and cake morning at our local school I think it is a national event to raise money, the fact they are having cake and coffee which is proven to those lifestyle choices that can cause cancer pretty much says it all. The Emperor has no clothes springs to mind! I have been like that in my life so I get it totally and I get that we choose it. It is in the willingness to be honest about what we chose that we can start to lift the veil on our choices and see them for what they are.

343. A great article. All the great care provided by doctors and nurses is only part of the picture of healing. We all have to take responsibility for our own care and treatment of ourselves to truly heal.

344. A great reminder that it’s the self that often gets in the way of self-care, harbouring beliefs picked up along the way that don’t encourage self-nurturing behaviour when we need it most. Thanks, RB.

345. RB a lovely blog. I have experienced hospital care and Universal Medicine care. I have met some great Doctors and nurses, and also wonderful Universal Medicine practitioners. The comfort and support you get from both is amazing, and they really do work hand in hand.

346. As Gill says there are some amazing words to reflect on. I know how easy it is to play down physical pain in the body and put up with it instead of look at it for what it really is and allow the support and care. I have also experienced the care of some amazing doctors and practitioners. It’s great to consider that even with their support how much did I let them in. Thank you RB.

     1. I agree David, I experienced back pain for a long time and ‘played it down’ because I thought I was ‘too young’ and ‘should just keep going’ with life and work, throughout the pain.. but my body eventually did the stopping for me and I then had no choice but to listen.

        I often ponder on what it really feels like to have no pain or even tension in the body, and how many of us are really walking around feeling loose, without tension and with a freedom and harmony in our bodies?
        I have felt this as marker for myself, but it is nowhere near the everyday normality from my own experience.

347. I can identify with this piece as I have had a life-long phobia about hospitals;
     Places to be avoided at all costs. However, I now realise that this is a form of
     self-abuse and that we all need support from each other.

     1. Well said Jonathan – ‘we all need support from each other’, great point

     2. A great realisation Jonathan. I too have held very damming beliefs about hospitals, but in later years have realised just how baseless my beliefs have been. I now truly appreciate all that doctors and nurses do to care for us when we need medical attention. Our hospitals and all those who work in them need cherishing, we would be in real dire straits without them.

        1. I agree Rowena, I never used to know what doctors could do for us and boy o boy would we miss them if they weren’t around! Even for a day.

        2. I have so much respect for the medical profession and you are right Cheryl what on Earth would we do if they weren’t around? Nursing is hard work and if there is one profession where it is about the true service of others then this would be it. Yes, Rowena I agree with you, doctors and nurses need cherishing!

     3. I avoided doctors and hospitals like you, Jonathan, in fact after my husband died If I had to go to hospital I couldn’t stop crying when I went through the doors. But since being a student of Universal Medicine, when I was encouraged to go for advice and investigations, of which there have been many, I have found how changed I am, so much more open and wiling to be helped, that the whole hospital environment as well as the staff seem changed too! In fact, I have enjoyed visiting the hospital so much and talking to the staff and patients, that I am now a volunteer. It has shown me how fear and prejudice can stop us embracing something that is there to support our healing in so many different ways.

        1. From crying as you entered the doors of a hospital to now becoming a volunteer, what a journey Joan. A real inspiration to us all to face our fears and prejudices and release ourselves from their restricting power

348. I loved the ending of this blog “I learned a little more about letting people in to my heart and my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me”, exposes to me how I feel about my vulnerability. This human body sometimes needs support from others, you have shown us a great example in this blog thank you.

349. Thank you RB for this beautiful reminder about the power of trust and letting people in. I too have often struggled through pain until my body forced me to stop and am only now learning to take responsibility for myself and also accepting help and support from others with grace.

     1. Beautiful comment Helen.

350. RB – a beautiful and honest expression of how we love to choose suffering over well-being by refusing to visit doctors and struggle on ‘bravely’!! I have been there too – and have ‘worn the shoes and the t-shirt out into shreds!’
     Your last sentence is inspiring – to keep on opening up to love and sharing it – “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring”.

351. Gosh I think so many of us do that, think we should just push through the pain and carry on with the busyness of our lives, why is it that it seems only when things are really bad and we cannot ignore it anymore only then do we start to listen or seek the help we need? Thank you for sharing your experience it’s great how your whole perception of this has now changed.

     1. I agree Vicky, this is particularly an issue for us men, who often take pride in not seeking medical attention and bravely putting up with something that is clearly wrong. A great friend of mine didn’t see a doctor when he had a brain tumour until it was way too late for the medical profession to help him.

352. I am also working on asking for help when I need it, independence and doing things on your own is something a lot of people can relate to, but sometimes it is good to not only ask for help but then actually allow them to help you.

     1. Well said Rebecca – We all need help and support from those around us. I know exactly what you mean about there being a huge difference between asking for help and actually allowing another to help!

     2. i agree rebecca.

     3. Reading your blog had me stop and consider this. I saw the same thread in truly embracing the healing that an illness or injury has brought me, and asking for help AND be open to receive the help. That thread was being open to the love and care offered me by life and other people – a letting go as opposed to trying trying to control it all.

353. Thank you RB for sharing your experiences and bringing light to taking care of ourselves and listening to our bodies as being so important rather than accepting pain and battling on – I can really relate to this.
     I am also seeing the care beauty and dedication of nurses with people who are ill more and more. I am finding how the more I learn to care and love myself the more care and honouring and loving I feel and see around me.
     I am constantly surprised and honoured by the care and warmth of nurses at doctors surgeries and in hospitals and it takes a real love of humanity to do this job. It is very much needed by us all at some time or other and brings the natural caring side of us out but this also needs to be lived and honoured for ourselves first to be truly able to care for another.

     1. This is so true Tricia, once we learn to take care of ourselves it gives us the space to appreciate both ourselves and those around us. Since taking more care of myself I am more open and able to connect to the warmth and care of nurses and doctors – it does really honour humanity when we extend our personal experience and connect to the true essence of one another.

     2. And what a joy it must be for the nurses and doctors to have people taking care of themselves instead of demanding a fix from them as well as the delight of being appreciated in the support that they are offering.

     3. Very true Tricia, my father was admitted to the emergency unit early one Sunday morning. I was just blown away by the tenderness and care of the nurse who attended him, knowing that she was coming to the end of a long shift and was quite tired herself. Added to that was the awareness that the staff had been dealing with yet another night of alcohol drenched patients who were being quite angry and obnoxious. All the staff were so patient and calm and I really appreciated the level of commitment and love these people have to do this job. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I have been able to turn around a long history of distrust for our western medicine and now truly see it for the amazing service it is, largely due to the people who staff it.

354. Great point you raise RB, about how your hospital stay allowed you to enjoy meeting the Doctors and staff. To add to this I have also noticed that patients often make friends with other patients on their ward , with some friendships continuing long after their discharge from Hospital.

355. Thanks RB for this blog. I too for number of years suffered back pain so I know how painful it can be. Mine was definitely down to disregard, I used to lift things at work that were way too heavy and even the way I would lift them was disregarding. I looked to all sorts of doctors, practitioners, chiropractors, osteopaths etc to try and sort it out without taking responsibility for myself. Once I did start treating myself with care it sorted itself out and now it has been years since I’ve had a problem.

     1. I had a similar story Kevin, and like you it was only when I started looking after myself that ‘magically’ the problem was greatly reduced (I only get a recurrence when I stop looking after myself).

        1. I agree Kev and Simon, I spent a long time unable to work due to severe back pain and was looking to my health professionals to support my physical symptoms ..but during the same time, I was certainly not taking loving care of myself and my body. I was nursing in a very heavy (and physical) ward and making disregarding choices when it came to strength exercises, the food I was eating and to my overall health.

           I also always found it interesting that my shifts (roster) as a nurse were never set up to support my own sleep and daily rhythm, and there I was working in a hospital wanting to support my patients – without supporting my very own body first.

356. I just realised that how through most of my life I considered “hospitals”, “nurses”, “doctors” as some thing that owed me my health. We completely abuse and disregard our bodies and then when there is a problem, we expect to get fixed up by “those who know” hopefully without having to engage with the process ourself. And there seems to be an attitude that these services should be free or close to it, that if the person who takes care of us is paid well they are taking advantage, while we happily pay ridiculous amounts of many for a night out! I love your article how the insights unfold and come round to being responsible for our body, taking care of ourself. And the ending about opening up to people, trusting and letting them in is a bonus.

     1. Thank you RB and Golnaz for sharing so clearly the joy of taking responsibility, and the magic that unfolds when we do.

     2. Good points Golnaz. A visit to hospital can be quite a daunting experience but I have found it can also be a very loving experience for myself and those caring for me if I treat the medical staff with the same openness and care they are offering me.

     3. So true Golnaz

357. Great observations and healings RB. I certainly recognise the patterns you talk about and have been choosing to let them go.

     1. I totally agree well said

358. This is such a great lesson on relationships and beautifully expressed, quite apart from the realisation that it’s actually a good idea to look after oneself. I love the interaction with others and will always appreciate others – it’s the self that’s the hard bit. So thank you RB for reminding me “we don’t even give that to ourselves”.

359. Thank you RB. I am reminded of another blog written by a dentist who was sharing how some patients are grumpy and demanding of their healthcare professionals, wanting them to fix what is wrong with them and almost blaming them for the symptoms they have. It is amazing how little responsibility we are sometimes willing to take for our bodies and our well-being. I found the majority of hospital staff I have encountered to be very caring and patient.

360. I can totally relate to that “resistance” in seeking medical assistance, I always tried to man it up and usually fix pains with make shift solutions, sometimes more (just different) pains and even on an emotional level. But this is a very interesting observation into self care, and thank you for sharing. Why is it that we are encouraged so often away from seeking true help and support, sure I do get the 3-4 hour waiting times here in the UK, but is that really just an excuse? Why is it that we see our physical bodies as invincible and act surprised when we get hurt? Almost resentful to the fact that we are hurt. Its very interesting to feel that. I too am uncovering a much more gentle way of being with myself where I am talking to people and seeking help when needed. Combine that with the awesome practices I have picked up through Universal Medicine and oops what do you know it is not often do I punish my body and cause it harm. And that’s coming from a dude who had scraped knees even at 28…and from that I am enjoying just always feeling like I am taking care of myself. You know that super yummy feeling you get when you have spent ages getting ready for something, you look good, you smell good, your body is in fine shape, well I am enjoying that feeling all of the time. Love taking care of myself, and I am loving reading that you are too.

361. I have an issue about letting people in. I have always enjoyed the health care people I have met, and respect them for what they do. However I feel they have not been able to truly support me – mostly dealing with symptoms. Unimed and an esoteric practitioner have helped me get to the cause of the symptoms. Thank you Serge Benhayon.

362. Yes I remember a time when I took pride in the fact that I never went to the doctor and also a time when I would rarely ask for support. I still sometimes forget how much support is out there but then I am doing so much more to support myself now. I like Rebecca’s comment about the belief “that toughing it out is a virtue when really it is simply self-neglect.” How true. Thanks RB for sharing your experience.

363. I love the honesty and simplicity of your article R.B. What came to mind when I read ‘pushing on through’ is how our pain threshold levels seem to be part of an endurance league, low thresholders are ‘cry babies’ ‘cissies’, high thresholders are Super human

364. It is said that illness and pain reduce people to their lowest common denominator and as a result all pretence of ‘being nice’ goes out the window. This blog shows there’s definitely an element of personal choice in all of this. You can either let everything get to you and not value the medical support nurses and doctors provide, wallow in your own pain and misery and not accept what your life choices have brought to you OR embrace the healing offered and see it as an opportunity to be with yourself in a more loving and supportive way as well. A great reminder that it all lies within us and the moment by moment choices we make each day decide the quality of life we will subsequently enjoy….(or not)…..

365. Thank you RB for your lovely blog. It’s great to read how much you appreciated and welcomed the support and care that was offered you by the nurses and doctors.

366. Thank you for sharing with honesty the self abuse, that has also been my experience. It is so amazing when we reach out to others for support and realise that there is so much love and beauty in the world when we open our eyes and are willing to connect to others. It feels like it begins the healing process from within to support what the medical service offers. I feel I have so much in this life and feel truly blessed to have found Universal Medicine and all that it presents to me to re-build a way back to my essence and to change that pattern of self-abuse.

367. I can relate to the ‘Medication? Oh no, not me’ approach and how damaging it can be – in my case I ignored the doctor’s advice to take aspirin to thin my blood when he diagnosed an irregular heartbeat and I subsequently nearly lost a leg through an arterial clot. I was in hospital on a drip for several days and it took weeks for the circulation to return fully to the leg. Now I listen to my body AND my doctor!

368. It took me a few years to understand what self love was and at the same time as choosing not to understand I too would override all the messages my body would send me. It feels a huge step to realise that the body has much to say to us if only we are willing to listen.

369. Thanks RB, it’s inspiring to hear about your experiences with allowing support – something I’ve not done for myself for a long time either. I’m slowly learning that asking for support isn’t actually a bad thing and that just maybe I deserve it…

370. I think you share a very interesting topic RB, a lot of people that go into hospital have put it off to the last moment, and then want a quick fix so they can go back to the life that hospitalised them in the first place. I have seen the disrespect nurses and carers get from patients, when they are doing everything they possibly can for them – and yet they are amazing at not backing down and becoming less caring because of it. And thank you for sharing your experience with toughing it out all the time, not giving your self the time to visit a doctors. It is amazing the amount we put up with sometimes, before we will ask for help.

371. I feel deeply touched RB, thank you. This paragraph actually brought a tear to my eye. “I learned a little more about letting people in, to my heart and to my life, about trusting and allowing them to help me, and the joy and healing this can bring.” Your tenderness can be truly felt.

372. Thank you RB, I loved reading this. How you embraced the support that was offered to you by the nurses and doctors is wonderful and I’m sure makes their life a lot easier too.

373. Lovely blog, and it was great to feel how you allowed yourself to be cared for and in that met all those at the hospital staff. Your comment about how we expect others to do so much for us but don’t do it for ourselves stuck, I realised that medical staff are often on the front line with this as we meet them when we’re feeling vulnerable and in pain and feeling the consequences of our not taking care of ourselves, so it can be challenging. Isn’t it great to be able to be there, be supported and allow them to just be, it feels lovely and is something we can all learn from. Writing this I realise I make demands on my work colleagues and often to be a certain way or do it a certain way when I don’t do it for myself like that, so great to consider than this blog can allow me to look at that – this will be fun to explore. Thank you RB.

374. What an amazing healing and learning experience this was for you, RB. Thank you for sharing!

375. Thankyou for this article, I really enjoyed the part about how caring and dedicated the hospital staff were.

376. I love how you decided to just bring yourself to the place you were in, RB, and treat those who were caring for you as equals, not as your servants and not to blame if you didn’t get well. I remember having those feelings and I have seen them in many people as well, where it is thought that if something goes wrong with our bodies, it is up to the doctors to fix it. This is a complete loss of any kind of responsibility for the choices we make as we live our lives in this very temporary and quite fragile vehicle we call our body!

377. I really resonate with your blog RB. I too have avoided Drs and hospitals for years as a result of bad experiences in my youth. However, I am learning that this was a case of ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’. A recent visit to a GP and hospital outpatient department completely changed my perspective, not only did it support my body but also put my mind at rest. I realised it isn’t helpful to allow old beliefs to get in the way of seeking the care we truly need.

     1. I resonate with what you are sharing Fiona.

378. I love your blog here RB and can certainly relate to being a hippie herbalist.
     Reading this has brought back my memory of collapsing at home and the paramedics taking me away in an ambulance to the A&E at the local hospital. Even with 2 blood transfusions, I was still thinking about how I could get back to work and the inconvenience of this painful event.
     However the full Stop came when I was diagnosed with a tumour and major surgery was needed. I had a really great experience with the hospital staff and other patients in my ward. We had some good chats and it never felt like a hospital. For me there was a deep Appreciation for the nurses and doctors who were very caring and I was aware that they worked long hours and my job was not to add to their work loads. My body healed quick and I was released earlier than expected to continue my rest at home. I also had no visitors and it did not affect me in anyway as I felt the attention was not what I needed.

     1. I enjoyed your reply, Bina! Your experience sounds like a powerful one, from your illness to the experience at the hospital.

379. Thank you RB for sharing your experience. What you present is so often the case for so many people, to push on through pain and discomfort, regardless of how the body feels and the signs it is offering us.

380. It’s amazing how much we can let our bodies endure, ignore and put up with, with out asking for help. Asking for help, allowing others to help us, or even just admitting that we need help is huge step in taking care of ourselves.

381. Thanks RV – We all have a choice to push through or to listen to our bodies… It’s fairly simple yet really can be tricky to notice all the subtle ways we ignore ourselves and override those all important feelings.

382. I love the line; “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves”. How true and how wrong it is to expect from others what we do not willingly give ourselves, this is a parable that could be transferred to any area of our lives. If I don’t love myself then I cannot expect that love from another. If I don’t care for myself I cannot truly care for another. This is an area of our lives that I feel is certainly worth exploring, thanks for the blog RB.

383. Wow this article is amazing as it really shows us how we affect everyone and everything in all that we do, what a great moment to realise that we are actually responsible for all of our choices.

384. The line about ‘trusting and allowing them to help me’ really struck home. I have always been stubbornly independent. Not asking for advice – unless it was to confirm a decision already made. Not asking for help physically – no thank you, I can manage, was almost my stock phrase. Now, inspired by Serge Benhayon and the student body of Universal Medicine, I am much gentler with myself, and allow people in to see that vulnerable side of me. Which isn’t weak at all. Lots of people get simple pleasure from helping, and allowing them to see the true me brings a lovely honesty to my relationships. I’m not there yet, the old habit still creeps in when I’m not aware, but my body soon tells me- ‘hey Catherine, I know we can do this, but I’m not happy with it and there’s someone who can help’. I can then make the choice to do just that.

     1. This is great Catherine, ‘lots of people get simple pleasure from helping’, this is so true.

385. RB it sounds like this was a very big healing for you! If somewhat painful! It is interesting what you write about accepting the love and care being offered and seeing others resist and reject this by being rude to the nurses. It is curious same nurses same bedside manner so to speak but different acceptance. What is awesome from the sounds of it that these nurses were loving and caring despite how they were being treated that is an amazing testament to their deep care for doing a job that is of service to people at their most vulnerable. I too had a lovely time in hospital when I had my daughter the staff at the delivery were amazing. It is important that we appreciate our nurses who have a pretty relentless task in caring for people and often thankless.

386. That’s beautiful RB, a great insight and a valuable learning for us all – it’s so true when you say “We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.” There’s something for me to ponder on….

387. Lovely blog thank you. I can relate to much of what you have shared. I too have resisted doctors and mainstream medicine for many years. Over the last couple of years I have felt in truth how unloving and reactionary this is. Very often not giving myself the grace and time for my body to heal. I love how you broach the subject of letting people in as this is often for me a root of resistance. Allowing our fragility and surrendering to what the body is showing us is the key and allowing time to heal-beautiful.

     1. Yes, I agree Anne Marie. I too can relate to what RB has shared and definitely ‘Allowing our fragility and surrendering to what the body is showing us’ is paramount.

388. This is beautiful, I agree, our health is first and foremost our own responsibility, and it is never anyone else’s responsibility to fix us. I also love your point about expecting from others what we do not give ourselves, I know I have definitely had higher expectations from the way others treat me, to my expectations of myself – crazy – because when I give myself the care that is needed, I don’t even need it from someone else!

     1. So very true Meg.

389. interesting reflection on how the ‘new agey’ approach can actually put our bodies at risk for not being caring enough.

390. RB, what an amazing blog, your honesty is really touching and how great it is that you decided to take responsibility for what you were feeling and accepted the support of doctors and nurses. ‘We expect so much from others, yet we don’t even give that to ourselves.’ Well said!

391. hi RB, In the past I used to avoid doctors and hospitals as much as possible – I was convinced that they would tell me there was something wrong with me and they would give me some terrible news! It has taken quite some time to realise that in denying this level of care, I was not looking after or supporting myself. I now enjoy going to the doctors and see it as a natural way to support myself and my family. Thank you for sharing your experience.

392. RB what a great observation. There’s an irony here too; that the disrespect towards the nurses that are there to care for them, also reflects the amount of care they may be prepared (or able) to lovingly accept – yet there is also the expectation that someone else should care to a greater degree for them than they have done so for themselves. I know from my own past experience that when I feel myself reacting to someone else’s choice that is a loving thing to do (like getting somewhere early for example and not rushing), it’s often a signal that I am probably not fully allowing that care for myself!

     1. True Rosanna. It does show a great irony. I too know that I have often reacted to someone else making caring choices for themselves if I have been negligent in that area for myself. I also have at times expressed anger ‘towards another’ for not taking care of some area which was hurting me, when the real pain was due to me not taking care of that area myself. In both situations I just did not want to accept responsibility for my own life and the pain that I was feeling as a result of my choices.

393. Letting people in- so important. I too am learning this one. I recently supported my son through a hospital experience. Everyone we came into contact with was helpful and caring. Just a few words, acknowledging each member of staff individually or commenting on their day, made such a difference. “We expect so much from others yet we don’t even give that to ourselves”. Until recently I would have put up my hand to that one too, crazy!

394. Wow, there is a lot of learning from your blog, from the ignoring our body until it can’t be ignored anymore…. how many of us have done that! To fully appreciating the amazing work that doctors and nurses do. I recently went to the doctor (not something I have had to do much as an adult) and was struck by his openness and care within the short ten minutes I was with him. It does feel off kilter doesn’t it, when we abuse our bodies and expect someone to come along and fix it, and then abuse the care and support being offered?

395. Great sharing RB, it is easy to over ride the body and not ask for help. I have found that for many years too. But since I met Serge Benhayon. I changed and I started to ask for help. I am now more aware of my body than ever before, so am able to feel if something is out of place before it gets worse, and act on it.

396. Thank you for sharing your experience with us RB, I work as a nurse in the hospital setting myself and I loved hearing of your experience from the patient point-of-view. There are many times where people are in frustration and/or fear when they are in physical pain and easily take their emotions out on the nursing staff or doctors.
     However, whilst I have found it easier to look at the bigger picture (with compassion as to how they may be feeling, what’s happening for them) I have often found myself at the other end of the spectrum – divulging in sympathy or allowing abusive behaviour (lack of self-responsibility) because of their situation.

     It has been a great (and every day) learning for me to work in health care and to really appreciate that self-care and self-responsibility are paramount to our own lives and our overall wellbeing – something that begins with the self-honesty that you have clearly shared in your piece. Thank you again, such a treasure for me to read.

397. Yes, it is amazing how we will abuse our bodies and then expect someone else to fix it. How different society would be if we were brought up as children to take that loving care of ourselves. So often parents tell their children to take care of themselves but do not do so themselves. The power of example is so much more powerful than verbal instruction and the child follows the example of the parent. Like so many people I know, that is what I did.

398. Our bodies give us clear messages and one of the ways of doing this is pain yet it is crazy that we over-ride this and struggle on thinking that something like work is more important than our bodies. I have done this many times in the past and would then want someone to fix it and get rid of the pain as quickly as possible without stopping and looking at why I had the pain. It is sad that from your hospital experience you noticed how the other patients treated the nurses. Just because we are in pain or are ill does not mean we have the right to be abusive or any less caring to others. RB it was lovely to hear how you appreciated the nurses and got to know them, I am sure they appreciated that and they would have enjoyed the lightness of your interactions rather than the neediness of patients wanting to be fixed. When we learn to appreciate ourselves it naturally follows that we learn to appreciate others.

399. Thank you for a very heart warming blog. Yes it is important to respect hospital staff or anyone for the jobs that they do. I have the sense that because you listened to your body and stopped fighting this was why you were able to allow yourself to be cared for and in return allow mutual respect. This brings a whole different attitude to a hospital visit. Thank you for writing this.

400. RB this is a lovely story. It is true that many of us push on through when our bodies are telling us to stop. I know I have done this often. I too have felt how amazing it feels when I do allow the medical profession to take care of me. It feels very loving to do so…

401. A great reminder that pain is the body’s way of telling us that something is wrong. We cannot always ‘fix’ it ourselves and that we have to ask for help from others, all those doctors and nurses who have studied for years to develop the skills to understand and treat the many different symptoms that the body can present with. The way we treat ourselves and those caring for us is all part of the recovery.

     1. So simple and so true Mary, RB’s article is a great reminder that ‘pain is the body’s way of telling us that something is wrong’.

402. Thank you for sharing, what a great learning you have been through. It is soo easy when we are ill to want and expect others to take care of us, and be very demanding of them, yet forgot about actually taking care of ourselves!

403. what a great reflection — it is incredible what we put ourselves through — I can so relate — I used to be proud of the fact that I never went to the Doctor now I realise it is just the belief that ‘toughing it out’ is a virtue when really it is simply self-neglect..

     1. Love it Rebecca, being ‘tough’ is indeed so harming to us…. Learning to accept support from others is something I am doing now.

     2. Very true Rebecca, it’s so strange that we treat ourselves in this way, to grit our teeth and hope it will go away. Crazy and I know I have been in that camp too and am just learning to make full use of the amazing service that Western Medicine offers us.

     3. I agree Rebecca, not going to the doctors is something we can use as a trophy of health, but often just because we don’t go to the doctors, doesn’t always mean we don’t need to.

     4. Absolutely Rebecca

404. Wow this is such a lovely article RB, I can relate to a lot of what you have written about being ‘the hippy herbalist who would avoid seeing doctors’. Reading your article brings awareness to me that I don’t trust doctors and nurses and that I resist the care they offer. It is beautiful to read how you let go of not trusting people and that you ‘learned a little more about letting people in’, very inspiring.

     1. I relate to what you said Rebecca. I avoided medicines and used homoeopathy, herbal remedies and ran a mile from injections! When I did have to go to hospital, I found the staff to be caring and supportive. The surgeon came and chatted to me and said I normally recommend certain medicines but understand you will probably prefer Yams! Now I listen to my body and know there are times when medicine is the best option. Great article RB.

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