Truly, Madly, Deeply.

by Dr Jane Barker, GP, Australia

I first met Serge Benhayon in a tin shed where he did his healing twelve years ago. I remember saying to him that I was not looking for healing for my body but wanted to connect with my heart.

I attended one of the first healing workshops he ran and surprised myself by crying  when he presented that although we are responsible for doing our best for the patient, we are not responsible for the illness itself. It felt at the time that I, as a Doctor, had practiced Medicine for thirty years under the illusion that I was responsible for others’ illnesses. Through the truth of his words I felt as though a huge burden was lifted.  I was very interested  in what Serge had to say because, after thirty years of practicing traditional Western Medicine, I knew there to be gaps in our knowledge. I had seen that for all its amazing scientific progress, each solution raised more questions. So often as a General Practitioner I was preventing the progress and the complication of disease yet I was rarely treating the root cause of that disease. There was a feeling that we were not getting to the bottom of it.

Serge presented to me a new concept – that of the importance of being able to feel energy. Western medicine does not have a name for that energetic life-force that is the difference between living and dying.  Serge introduced the idea of energy and how the nature and flow of energy are integral to health and well-being. Over the next few years I learnt to have a better understanding of the role of energy through feeling it in my own body and that of others. I learnt a better understanding of the relationship between energy and illness. I am hoping that in time we will develop a way of measuring energy that can be used scientifically.

Perhaps the most important thing I have learnt through Universal Medicine is that it is imperative for a practitioner to maintain their own energetic integrity and health to the best of their ability. In medical school morality and ethics were discussed and indeed the Australian Medical Board has a beautifully written Code of Ethics. However, at no point, in my career, was the need for self care discussed. I have now come to understand that it is not possible for someone who does not love and care for themselves to love and care for another.

In some ways it would seem obvious that if a doctor goes into a consultation angry or distracted by personal issues or worse, if they were to go in to a consultation with a hangover, the level of care they could offer a patient would be compromised.

When I was a young doctor it was usual for the doctors’ common room which we used when we were on duty, to have a bar. It was not uncommon for people to drink while on duty. However, it goes deeper than this. When I talk to my medical students about this, I use the analogy of a ripe juicy tomato, a sphere of loving energy which is given out to many – patients, family, friends. If self care is disregarded this beautiful tomato shrinks to become a sun-dried tomato, quite unable to care for either ourselves or others. To work in health care means to be able to connect with a patient at a deeper level and to see them as the individual that they are. This connection allows the patient to express their own needs with honesty and allows the doctor to truly hear them. From this place, together, and with the doctor’s clinical expertise, they can make health care choices which are for the greatest benefit of the patient.

Self care includes an awareness of mind, body and soul. In the simplest terms it is about healthy life-style choices, for example in regard to diet, exercise, sleep patterns, having moments of stillness. It is about becoming aware of the effects of emotions on your body and mind. It is about being completely honest with yourself and listening to all that your body is telling you. In  other words it is about loving yourself TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY!

683 thoughts on “Truly, Madly, Deeply.

  1. “There was a feeling that we were not getting to the bottom of it.” – this really applies to so much of life. We may make things better or even improve them but if we do not get to the energetic root of it and deal with that nothing truly changes. Yes, the original symptom might go but it will reappear in another form.

  2. I too have “come to understand that it is not possible for someone who does not love and care for themselves to love and care for another.” And this ought to be the first point on any healing practitioners Code of Ethics, but sadly I do not think this is the case. It simply makes sense to me now that the deeper I care for myself the more I can bring to another, and this common sense needs to be shared with children from a very early age so it becomes simply natural for them to know and to live.

    1. This should be taught in all school and part of every health plan with visiting your GP! Imagine what a dose of true medicine would offer the world!

  3. To love ourselves provides a solid foundation – the basis of how we actually support and connect to each other. There is such a call for us to go deeper if we actually want to go there.

  4. How deeply freeing to let go of that which we have carried for so long, that had no place being carried in the first place.

  5. Self-care is literally the foundation for everything else.. without that, there is nothing to fall back on when we feel challenged, and an attack from another makes it harder to stay steady. Self-care is a completely holistic thing that means taking care of ourselves in every moment, all of the time, not just when we’re down and out, or not just when we feel like it.

  6. This is such a beautiful reminder of what our prime responsibility is, which actually is very simple, loving, everyday thing.

  7. It is incredible, confounding really that with all our technology, scientific research, studies, evidence and understanding throughout the decades about the fact that we, our universe and all that it encompasses is governed by energy we have managed to conveniently avoid paying attention to how this fact affects us, our body and being, through the choices we make and the quality of life we live. The presentations of Universal Medicine and the lived way of Serge Benhayon hone in on this fact reflecting the truth that when pay attention to these energetic principles we discover we have a great responsibility in how we are living and as such realise only we are in command of the quality of life we live, through the quality of vibration we are willing to align to, be it love or all that is not of love.

  8. Thank you Dr. Jane Barker for a sincere blog that I feels raises the really important aspect of self care for doctors and all health professionals and carers (and everyone at that) – I feel that self care is a key part of laying the foundation for the quality of care we can offer to others.

  9. A big smile came to my face as I read the last line about loving yourself truly, madly and deeply! That will be my focus today!

  10. “Self care includes an awareness of mind, body and soul. In the simplest terms it is about healthy life-style choices, for example in regard to diet, exercise, sleep patterns, having moments of stillness.” Exactly so Jane. Becoming aware of this in every home, school, institution and work place would result in a greater level of health for all concerned.

  11. It makes sense that when we build our awareness and a strong foundation of care we are able to become a true support for ourselves and others and a true reflection from the authority of our lived experience.

  12. I love the analogy of a juicy ripe red tomato, because if we don’t look after ourselves by truly loving ourselves and making self-loving choices and express in our fullness we shrink inside and out, and are no longer capable of supporting anyone else.

  13. I love this; ‘In other words it is about loving yourself TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY!’ How very gorgeous to deeply love ourselves and what a ripple effect this would have on how loving are with others.

  14. “In other words it is about loving yourself TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY!” Its interesting how we will willingly love another in this way, but rarely consider loving ourselves like this. But how much we would all benefit from each other if we did!

  15. “I have now come to understand that it is not possible for someone who does not love and care for themselves to love and care for another.” These are just words until we come to feel the truth of them for ourselves. We can say we love someone, but unless we have love in our own bodies this is actually impossible. When we start to build that love for ourselves we start to feel it in a very real way, and when we say the words they are full of truth.

  16. It would be a powerfully healing force, if care agencies supported carers to self care as well as care for clients.

  17. I love the analogy of fully ripe tomato. The sun-dried tomato, sums up well what happens when we give our power away and not caring for ourselves a perfect example of this.

  18. ‘I have now come to understand that it is not possible for someone who does not love and care for themselves to love and care for another’. As a carer working with elders, I now know this to be true. The quality of care I offer my clients flows from my relationship with myself, not perfect by any means, but steady, loving with total dedication and joy.

    1. It is possible to experience exhaustion when working with elder clients. When we turn attention to ourselves and begin to deeply self care, exhaustion transforms into an abundance of energy sustained over years.

  19. “Perhaps the most important thing I have learnt through Universal Medicine is that it is imperative for a practitioner to maintain their own energetic integrity and health to the best of their ability.” This is unlike any other modality I have trained in over the past fifty years – unheard of elsewhere – and is a model for the future for all workers – everywhere.

  20. I love your description of self care here Jane and the tomato analogy. I am going to be talking to some health care practitioners about burnout and stress so these concepts are great ones to share.

  21. It seems that there is a code of conduct for many industries now, but unfortunately self care for the health practitioner is not valued as much as care for the customer or patient.

  22. How very wonderful Jane that you came to meet Serge Benhayon. And how wonderful for your patients that you finally were able to come to a deeper understanding of the underlying causes of illness and disease; that you began to see the whole picture not just the one you had been presented with during your medical training. Bringing the understanding of energy into our lives, no matter what we do, adds a whole new and valuable dimension to the way we live and work.

  23. It is huge to realise that as medical professionals we are not responsible for the illness of the patients. I often find I can take on the disregard a patient is living in or I feel I failed when a patient is nervous and does not let that go, however gentle and communicative I am. It is great to realise that everyone makes choices and that we can offer space for people to choose more loving choices but that we can never ever make people do this. And it is not our responsibility to do this. The only responsibility we have is for ourselves and being with ourselves in a way that we can offer people a space to make these loving choices and in no way hindering this.

  24. What is never explained to us is that the way we look after ourselves is not only important for our own health and well-being but vital for our performance and service in our professional careers. Whether you are a doctor, or a surgeon or a gardener, the amount of care and love and dedication put into our own care and personal life equals the amount of care, love and dedication we can put into our professional lives – the two are inseparable.

  25. I love the image of a juicy ripe tomato. Yes why would we not want to exude health and vitality and juiciness? And who wants to shrivel up like a sun dried tomato?!! It’s so important to bring the best we can be to life, no matter what our profession.

  26. Self care is certainly the missing link with a lot of medical training these days, with the rising statistics on Dr’s suiciding exposes that the current model we have needs to change.

  27. It makes so much sense Jane when you explain how loving and caring for ourselves, truly, madly and deeply can allow for our level of care for others to be so much fuller.

  28. Wow Jane, how inspiring for so many young medics to have you as their role model. Plus, what you are sharing here is absolutley priceless and shows the responsibility we all have to take care true and deep care of ourselves, whether we are a medical student or not, as if we don’t, we will eventually end up being a patient.

  29. I love how you have described self-care Jane, and the key to building a far deeper level of awareness with our body, choosing the quality of energy we align to and the impact all our choices then have. In surrendering our body in moments of stillness we are able to truly love and nurture ourselves enabling our body to heal and restore itself back to a natural and true harmony.

  30. ” It felt at the time that I, as a Doctor, had practiced Medicine for thirty years under the illusion that I was responsible for others’ illnesses.”
    Wow what a burden to be carrying.

  31. The more we listen to our body’s voice the more we will see how lost we are, how crazy we act and some of the situations where we ignore the facts. This can be confronting to see – but if we drop the emotion it’s a beautiful opportunity to learn about Love. Thank you Jane.

  32. “It is about loving yourself TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY! ” Now that is great advice and excellent medicine for the whole being.

  33. Yes and yes, of course to care for another we must first care for ourselves, and it’s great to see this highlighted here. And to see and understand that no doctor is responsible for the illness of their patient is a huge one to understand, doctors are there to support us in our illnesses, and I can feel how that additional stress placed on our health care providers is damaging for both us and them. We need to engage with medicine with the understanding that it’s there to support us but we as patients have our part to consider how we live.

  34. “To work in health care means to be able to connect with a patient at a deeper level and to see them as the individual that they are.” – It seems that much of the conventional medicine industry has forgotten this most basic tenet of what it means to be a true healing practitioner because of the way the medical industry has been set up to make it about profit over people, and has pushed its practitioners into unrealistic and exhausting work schedules that make it difficult to ever have the space to meet their patients in the way that Jane has described here, not to mention providing them with care that is a reflection of their own level of self-care and nurturing.

  35. There is a depth to us that we dare not admit, a space that is greater than ‘just a bit’, a richness of quality we pretend isn’t there. We measure our life based on how skilfully we navigate the surface – but what if we made our every day about going deeper? Thank you Dr Jane.

  36. How wonderfully fortunate Jane for those who come into contact with you, those young students about to be launched into the world as doctors, to have someone offering such foundational wisdom as you do.

  37. Learning to love one’s self to one’s core is an art that never gets boring, because there’s no end point: nowhere to get to and nothing to achieve. Honesty and giving ourselves the space to feel what truly supports us and what doesn’t feel like integral parts of this forever unfolding journey.

  38. wow that is crazy to hear that doctors on duty have a bar where they can drink. It shows what we are resorting too so we can relieve tension in our bodies that is not dealt with.

    1. Bars and sneaky hiding place are known in all working places. A space where we give ourselves the right to take the edge off or treat ourselves for a job well done rather than looking at this as being the norm of responsibility in working through and seeking the support that is truly needed.

  39. “I have now come to understand that it is not possible for someone who does not love and care for themselves to love and care for another.” Jane, when spelt out this makes complete sense as to not do so is basically giving a green light to another that it is ok to live in self disregard. But what if we taught our younger generations from the start that we have a responsibility to take true care of ourselves? Would this not change the face of our health care systems enormously to the point where we would be preventing much illness and disease instead of having to deal with the consequences of ignoring the early signs and symptoms?

  40. What Serge Benhayon presents is simple common sense. It may not have academic value, but it is the wisdom that every one of us would benefit from adhering to. I am thrilled to read that a doctor has found its place alongside the conventional medicine they practice.

  41. When a doctor takes responsibility for the illness, it takes it away from the patient (who also willingly gives it away). No healing can occur if responsibility is not taken. It’s the first step and when a doctor doesn’t take responsibility it allows for the patient to take it, should they so choose to.

  42. It’s mad the way we aren’t true with ourselves and so hold back from going deeper. We get trapped in a loop of second guessing. But it’s not because we doubt we know, but it’s actually a game to sabotage the inner strength we can all have. It’s this self-sabotage Medicine should be studying in my view, as this would inevitably lead us to the fact of two distinct types of energy that exist. It’s this basic fact that will finally help us all come back to truth.

    1. If we know we have a simple choice, and it is always ours to make in any given moment, then we are conscious that it is our responsibility and that we are living the consequences of those choices.

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