by Susan Lee, UK.
I recently became aware of how stubborn I can be – I have always known it, but this time I felt it at a deeper level. A week or so after this awareness I became constipated.
A few days later I noticed some blood along with my faeces – twice this occurred before I took action. As I am writing this I can see how deep-rooted this stubbornness is and how it has become part of my day-to-day living. I will not listen to my body giving me signs that everything is not OK until the last minute.
My first appointment with my local General Practitioner was great – he gave me an internal examination and the time spent with him felt as though he was a deeply caring man. He found nothing conclusive and referred me to my local hospital.
My next appointment was quite a different experience and, in retrospect, I realized I had not been taking the events seriously. I can now see, in hindsight, that I did not wish to even contemplate that I may have colon cancer, as this would mean that I would need to start taking responsibility for how I have lived my life. For many years now it has made sense to me that illness didn’t just happen to me, and that the way I responded to stress somehow harmed my body.
On meeting the surgeon I felt uncomfortable and unable to connect and open up to him. His manner was polite and brief, but he was not communicative and seemed unwilling to make eye contact. It felt difficult to relax and ask questions. The nurse took me into a side room and told me to ‘pop down my pants and trousers.’ When I went to take off my boots she suggested that I leave them on. I complied with her instructions although everything in my body was telling me differently. I felt very demeaned by the whole experience – as though I was not worthy of the time to prepare myself in a way that would have supported me to feel comfortable and safe in what felt like an invasive procedure. (This felt a bit like having sex in the back of a car – uncomfortable and rushed).
I came away with a clear understanding of how easily I complied with other people’s suggestions and did not say what felt comfortable for me and what did not. I allowed them to set the ground rules of what was to be the examination of my colon. This situation allowed me to see that this is how I have lived my life – allowing others to set the ground rules, so that I could then hold on to resentment that I have not been treated properly.
This visit led to another internal examination and a scope was inserted into the lower part of my colon.
A couple of weeks later I was called back to have a full colonoscopy and my heart sank when I saw that the letter had come from the same surgeon. In the meantime I spoke to a couple of friends who had undergone a colonoscopy and this helped me to gain some insight and practical information concerning the procedure. I realised that if I was to meet the same surgeon it was my responsibility to change this meeting into a different, more pleasant and loving experience. Maybe this was an opportunity to shift some of my stubbornness? Also, not to hold onto the resentment of the previous meeting.
I allowed myself to be driven to the hospital by a friend (having initially brushed aside her offer because ‘I didn’t want to be too much trouble’). As I am writing this blog I am starting to see how I allow stubbornness to come between me and making life simple and feeling the beauty of allowing others to support me. It was so lovely to have her support, and it allowed me to approach the procedure in quite a different way. I felt more open to what was about to happen. I approached the meeting in a way that felt as though I was embracing the examination rather than seeing it as something I needed to endure. (Another old pattern showing me the way I approach life.)
On arrival I was greeted and felt welcome and much more at ease than on my previous visit to the hospital. The nurse who explained what was to happen was open and lovely. In the past I have always shrunken away from anything too ‘bloody and messy’ and was amazed to find myself engaging with the nurse and the wonderful charts that were up on the wall. I did this because I thought: ‘after all, it is my body that is about to be invaded.’ Having a scope inserted into your anus is one of the most invasive procedures that I could have imagined, but here was I asking to be shown the exact journey of the scope.
The nurse was most reassuring that the team were there to support me and make everything as comfortable as possible. She also added that the doctor was lovely – and he was. This time it was a different person. However, I feel that because I was starting to let go of my stubbornness and realising that I may have misjudged the first surgeon – that maybe he was not being uncommunicative but that I was not allowing people into my life – this experience was going to be quite different. I was now more open to allowing things to take their natural course. It felt more lovely than I would have realised to at last be seeing that I could be wrong and to not be a victim of circumstances.
I decided that as I wished to watch the examination on the screen and be able to remember the details afterwards that I would choose to have gas and air rather than sedation. It was reassuring that if I was uncomfortable they could stop at any time and that I would still be able to have sedation. I explained to the doctor that I wished to watch everything and they adjusted the screen and table.
Was this really me asking for support? It felt a little surreal. I had a ‘good view’ and while I was watching the screen they slipped the scope inside quite effortlessly and from then on I was totally absorbed and fascinated that as I lay on the table I was seeing inside my body. I could vaguely feel the scope but what I was seeing was my beauty-full colon. It was wonderful to see the formation and how it functioned, the colour and the texture – and how healthy it looked.
It was quite unlike any other experience I have ever had – it took my breath away. It truly gave me a whole new insight into my body and how it works, and I now feel I have a far more intimate relationship with my colon and with what I put into it – to more deeply honour and respect it. I am so grateful that I was given this opportunity and I have learned so much more about myself through the entire process.
Some weeks have passed and I was starting to realise, after having sessions with an esoteric practitioner, that constipation is something that I have been avoiding dealing with since the age of twelve. It is only now, at the age of sixty-seven, that I am willing to start looking at my behaviour and patterns that I have held onto for the last fifty-five years.
In the past I have considered constipation as an annoying occurrence and totally ignored my body telling me that there is something in my life that is not quite right – that my body does not enjoy having all this waste product lingering around and polluting it. Would I leave rotting rubbish hanging around in my home? No way. Yet, I stubbornly hung on to my way of dealing with the problem, which never solved it. It just meant I did not have to admit that everything was not OK – I could go on pretending to the world that I was this healthy woman!
I am starting to see that my stubbornness is about me holding on to the way ‘I have always done things’ and how I think life should be and that this arrogance does not serve or support me being who I truly am. This feels to be much the same as my colon holding on to all the rubbish from my body rather than letting it go and allowing my body to flow – when I am stubborn I can feel my whole body contract. Apparently, there are two sphincter muscles in the rectum that deal with clearing the faeces from the body, the internal sphincter that is controlled by the autonomic response (over which we have no control) and the external sphincter, which is under the control of our will. It is no wonder I am constipated when I stubbornly hold on to ‘my way’ of living life.
I am now beginning to realize that the way I have lived life is not that of a healthy woman but a woman who has struggled through life stubbornly not listening to others in case I may have to look at my part in what goes wrong and take responsibility.
At last I feel I am beginning to grow up and stop running away from life and embrace it. None of this would have been possible without the love and support I have felt from Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all those wonderful practitioners.
When I reach outside of myself I find there is so much support – from my lovely GP, to the doctor in the colonoscopy unit and his team and finally to the support and encouragement I have received in writing this blog.
I do feel blessed.
665 thoughts on “Letting go (of my stubbornness) and Learning to Love my Colon.”
Linda your comment makes total sense to me if we are being stubborn then what are we actually saying no to? If we are saying no is it any wonder we are tired as we are spending so much energy on just saying no, it’s like putting on the brakes of your car while having your foot on the throttle pedal!
‘I came away with a clear understanding of how easily I complied with other people’s suggestions and did not say what felt comfortable for me and what did not. I allowed them to set the ground rules of what was to be the examination of my colon. This situation allowed me to see that this is how I have lived my life – allowing others to set the ground rules, so that I could then hold on to resentment that I have not been treated properly.’
What you are actually saying is that you controlled the whole set up by allowing yourself to be treated in such a way so that you can then play the victim or be resentful. It’s a complete set up as we do this all the time to each other, so that we don’t have to take responsibility for how we are with ourselves so can blame others. I can so see how I do this myself, it’s all about control and manipulation.
‘The nurse took me into a side room and told me to ‘pop down my pants and trousers.’ When I went to take off my boots she suggested that I leave them on. I complied with her instructions although everything in my body was telling me differently.’ It makes the world of difference when we give ourselves the space to care deeply for our being and body and others also respect this and give us the space to do so. A great lesson for us all.
Wow Susan, life is pure joy when you see the deeper meaning in everything.
It feels so enriching when we allow ourselves the space to go deeper…….and deeper.
This is a brilliant blog on how our bodies are super intelligent and that they are in constant communication with us. We do seem to get fixated by ideals and beliefs of how life should be and become resentful if it doesn’t play out in the way we want it to be. So to turn your life around at the age of sixty seven is proof that it’s never too late to change our ways we don’t have to be stuck in the rut of our own making. By making different choices we can experience a different more enjoyable way of life.
Yesterday I was walking to catch a bus and caught myself in my head having a conversation that was going nowhere. As I became aware of how distracted I had become I decided to connect to my body and have a beautiful conversation with my body asking it how it felt and then listening to the answers that came back. I realise how much I have been missing this intimate and delicate exchange for far too many lives.
Susan reading this sharing, I appreciate the deeper understanding about the colon. Once upon a time, I used to have severe constipation and I couldn’t understand why despite eating high fibre, exercising and drinking plenty of water, it was never enough.
Sometimes we find when a body part doesn’t function how it is meant to, we consider it as a hindrance. And yet, if we really viewed it from a different perspective, it is actually communicating to you.
Even though I haven’t quite mastered it, I am now learning to listen to my body more. And if we really stop to consider what has caused a body part to stop or fail to work effectively, then we know the answer. We can never deny the wisdom of the body, it is forever communicating to you. The question is are we prepared to listen to it…
I so agree Shushila – even now there are times when I choose to not listen – that stubbornness raises up inside me and I forget that I am a divine being with a connection to my soul and I return to being the functioning human being that depends on the mind to lead the way.
I am only just beginning to get a sense what it means to be a divine being and reconnect back to my soul.
There is nothing quite like it in the world there are no words to describe this bodily feeling. I feel ticking the boxes of life and being in distraction is all a game to keep us away from the most precious gift we can give to ourselves.
What a wonderfull learning ✨When you put it like this ‘Would I leave rotting rubbish hanging around in my home? No way. Yet, I stubbornly hung on to my way of dealing with the problem, which never solved it.’ it’s a no brainer .. we wouldn’t leave rotting rubbish hanging around in our home so why leave it hanging around in our bodies!!! … in things we hold onto that are not who we truly are.
Thank you for the reminder Vicky – I feel I may have cleared out the ‘rotting rubbish’ from the past, however, some more clearing and cleaning is now required as I go deeper and find all those tiny lingerings still hiding away and not wanting to be exposed.
This was such an interesting blog to read Susan. Just the nomination of and being open to the fact that we can be stubborn goes a long way to clearing it.
Susan amazing to hear how blessed you now feel and are no longer running away from life and instead embracing it, very inspiring this honest account. Thank you.
There are many behaviours we take on which are so very draining on bodies, simply because they are usually at odds with the truth of who we are, and stubbornness is definitely one of those. It’s as if we continually have our foot on the brake while trying to drive our vehicle forward; not an easy and harmonious way to live, but still we do it, stubbornly so.
From my own experience I can see that if I go into a medical appointment already in protection mode, just in case there is bad news to come, I am not opening myself up to an honest relationship with the person I am with. And as I am not being open and honest then the chances are, that’s exactly the reflection that will come back to me. Going into any medical appointment, trusting my relationship with my body and the wisdom and knowledge of the practitioner, certainly goes a long way to begin to build a foundation of trust for whatever comes next.
‘Going into any medical appointment, trusting my relationship with my body and the wisdom and knowledge of the practitioner, certainly goes a long way to begin to build a foundation of trust for whatever comes next.’ If this was our common practice we would avoid wasting time and resources – the more direct and clear we are in our expression the greater the healing we are offered not only by the medical profession but directly from God.
Ingrid, your comment is so important, being open, trusting and receptive to another person is part of life. I struggled with vulnerability and still struggle with it from time to time. Being a health professional, once upon a time, I liked being at the projecting end of providing care but not the receiving and one day that needed to change.
We need to embrace vulnerability and when we embrace this, it is a reflection to for another to be this too.
Thank you Ingrid and Shushila – it’s amazing the power we have when we approach life with the humility of being open to learning and letting go.
“allowing others to set the ground rules, so that I could then hold on to resentment that I have not been treated properly.” A great understanding of how we can misinterpret events to fit in with our preconceived beliefs and patterns.
What I can feel from your such honest sharing, Susan, is how being stubborn, sticking with ‘my way’ means refusing to be responsive, and it actually is hard work.
And while I insist on my way I am denying the world of my reflection – when we share ourselves with the rest of humanity we allow them to feel precisely who we are in our essence, and this offers the way to true connection and open heartedness.
Surrender is the key to evolution for there is nothing for us to attain, only much for us to let go of before we can return in full to our true self.
As we surrender to the inevitability of returning to our essence we somehow embrace the whole of humanity – as they are us and we are them.
At times we can find it really hard to let go things and it keeps coming up and we stew over it time and time again. I know when that happens I am totally off track and not willing to learn and be open to my part in the unfolding that we all have.
Stewing over things is the way we have learnt to be in control – when we surrender to the love of God that is holding us we allow our tight grip to let go and the unfolding begins.
I find it incredible how much our body can teach us about how we choose to live – life could be an incredible opportunity if we explore it this way.
And that is the true purpose of our body – to show us the way back to soul.
Yes – far from resenting the body we can see it as the truthful communicator it is in terms of our choices. If we are open to looking at them then our body is our best friend, especially when it starts to break down or give us signs that not all is harmonious.
And as with any friendship the more we nurture it the more loving and tender it becomes.
Agreed. Whilst this is not my every moment experience the more I have connected to my body and accepted my innate delicacy the more I am aware of how delicately and gently my body can move.
We are all caught up in the distraction of life so that we do not see or feel just how easy it is to live differently which would as you say Meg be an incredible opportunity if we explored the opposite of what we are informed life is to be.
How many of us have accepted the mundaneness of life Meg? That we just plod through our day ticking the boxes and finding relief in the few weeks holidays we give ourselves, or the glass of something at the end of the day. We are always waiting for something ‘better’ to come along. We have been taught from young that our mind holds all the answers when actually if we gave our bodies an opportunity to communicate we would find that our bodies hold the true answers.
Because of your blog I am re-questioning my beliefs of whether they are really true or if I am choosing them because of a certain belief I have taken on.
I can be stubborn when it is my hurts that I hold onto. These views are always distorted, they do not come from love.
Your lovely comment opens me up to feeling how light and loving it is when we let go compared with the heaviness of ‘hanging on’ to these over used patterns that serve no purpose whatsoever except keeping us in our misery.
Susan Lee surely we have to know what it is we are ‘hanging on’ to and this is where a Universal Medicine qualified Esoteric Practitioner can support us to see the games our spirit plays with us so that it has control. Taking back mastery of ourselves reduces the control that our spirit has, so that it knows it has to reconnect back to the one soul it disconnected from eons ago to live this runaway out of control way we then call life.
What jumped out at me while reading this is how we have those moments when we say people were not being open with us but could it be that we were also being the same way and that we get back the reflection we need for us to take more responsibility for ourselves and how we conduct ourselves.
These words also jumped out for me too Julie, as in the past I too would complain that someone wasn’t being open with me. And in many of my medical appointments this was just the case. But in retrospect I can see that I was simply receiving what I was giving out, and that was definitely not all of me. How things have changed, as these days I don’t hold back from the doctor or other medical professionals, and even though they are often startled by what I share I can see that it is helping them to understand me a little bit more, and me them.
Yes, Ingrid I am finding these changes like everything else are bringing a new level of understanding of myself and of others. It feels very magical when we realise that we are part of the equation and when we shift in our perception of another it changes the dynamics of all relationships. The changes we are making may seem tiny – and yet the Universe is aware of every little movement that takes place.
It would be amazing – and yet deep down we know all along what we are doing.
Whatever the situation it is always important to express what we feel, in your example of the nurse suggesting that you don’t take your shoes off, because they believe it is a faster turn around of patients it is also possible that the consultation takes longer because the patient is uncomfortable and if patients took their shoes off the whole process may be quicker and more honouring too.
When we rush ourselves we squeeze the space into a time constraint – when space can offer us so much more.
‘ If something is killing us, how can we consider that is a way of living that has us at its heart? Impossible. All our rights and wrongs simply chain us to misery.’ And yet we continue in our arrogance to feel we know best until we are ready to surrender to the inevitable returning path that we will all tread – the Path of Return.
Susan this is lovely to read again, I enjoyed the openness you had to share about stubbornness because alongside our illnesses we may also feel ashamed or want to hide the parts of our personality that do not come from our true selves (stubbornness included). I found your openness and acceptance about the stubbornness helped me to be more open to connecting to and seeing my own, and as you say stubbornness can prevent us from making new choices and not let go of how we have always done things. Being open to love will always support us to be one to the new. Thank you again.
And thank you Melinda for your beautiful response – it’s interesting for me to read your words as I am feeling another layer of stubbornness surfacing to be healed and let go of, and we always need the reflections of others to support our way back to truly letting go of the past and returning with a new depth of joy for life.
It’s interesting the things we hold on to, thinking that they’re in our ‘best interests’ – when in fact any picture we’re holding on to from our minds is just that – a picture. Our pictures don’t serve us because they’re usually not the reality of what our bodies are actually experiencing.
Understanding that the pictures are not the reality has been a gradual process – as I let go of one picture there is always something new to look at and observe. It feels as though I have used these pictures for many lifetimes to evade the discomfort not realising that the pictures were the problem – not the reality.
So true Doug – and it’s a prison of our own making.
I think it’s brilliant how you reflected on your part in how things went with the consultant, being open to being more aware of how you were approaching the procedures and examinations and how this may have been impacting on your experience.
Yes, Fiona – we can always take things deeper as we learn to understand ourselves with greater humility and let go of the old arrogance and stubbornness that we may have used as a defence in the past. While we are willing to unfold there will always be new opportunities to change and unravel the web that we have woven.
We are good in pretending and fooling ourselves with the idea we are living as a healthy woman, I know I can be stubborn in not always wanting to see my part in certain situations. On the other hand I have experienced the opposite as well, feeling the space and the surrender when I was honest and humble about my part. What I feel is by bringing in ‘right and wrong’ energy, which I have been very good at and is for a great extent causing the struggle, our pride creates the struggle and then the withdrawal in life.
That feels so true Annelies – the struggle is something we have employed to separate ourselves from our essence and as I let go of the need for arrogance the surrender has an opportunity to emerge.
I love the way you describe your journey into this situation. How you realised the uncomfortable way you were treated in the first time and the changes you made in the second one. A beautiful opportunity to re-imprint the whole situation and even the approach of your own life.
Yes, Amparo – to re-imprint old patterns opens up our whole body to a new rhythm.
Our body is always rewarding us with information and if we don’t get complicated with it then we open up and let things go. This is Love in action and our movements become a divine reflection of us letting go of our held beliefs that stick around causing all types of blockages in the body.
Yes, I agree Gill as I become more willing to bow to the wisdom of my body I am seldom if at all led astray.
There was so much I could relate to in this blog, more than I was expecting to! Like letting others set the ground rules so that I can blame them and hold onto resentment rather than setting the rules myself for my own body and being. Thank you for sharing this Susan.
And thank you for your comment Leigh – I know I can discount things sometimes feeling they will not work and with this I am denying the wisdom that is around me in every moment. It’s beautiful to feel the change as we open up to possibilities – I know this has supported me.
Yes what a cop out Leigh, I know I used this tactic, letting others set the ground rules so I could play the victim and hold on to bitterness and resentment, rather than see I was always the one in control by giving my power away in the first place. How deceitful is that!
I have been one to go it alone through life, rejecting support, feeling that I had to struggle through. As I have grown older and am learning to bring more self care and self love into my life, I am opening up to accept support when needed, I did not realise that there is so much joy and appreciation to be felt by saying yes to being supported.
That’s beautiful – as we age we have more space in our day to open up and feel the wisdom pouring through us – why struggle on alone when together we can change the Universe – no option really?
The stubborness of holding onto the way we do things is something I can relate to, and I have learnt that it stops us opening up to what is next, to the potential of what is being offered to us because we constantly revert back to old ways that no longer serve us.
And why is it that we constantly revert to old ways is something that still puzzles me when I do know that these ‘old ways’ only keep me being stuck and wasting time when I could be so much greater when I open up my body to greater wisdom to yet unfold.
Yes agreed Susan it is like a game we play to keep us small and not step up to the greater responsibility that is being offered to us.
Thank you for your comment Alison – to begin to see life the way it really is and not fool ourselves any more the sooner we will allow ourselves to cease hanging on and disregarding both our own bodies and the greater body we call the Universe – our forever unfolding and unending relationship with our future.
And the more we hold onto this stubbornness the more deep seated it becomes whereas when we open up to the possibility that there maybe another way we come back to the natural flow and release some of the held tension. We physically allow our body to flush out the energetic imprint that has held us captive for so long.
It’s not until we begin to have a true and honouring connection with our body that we begin to understand the joy we have been missing. To truly love ourselves and listen to our body is the most tender and precious relationship that we will have.
Some great points here about what we hold onto – the belief of doing it ‘my way’ and stubbornly holding onto that, so that we don’t have to take what feels like a risk and let others in. When we do finally start letting others in, and letting go of how we think life is or has to be, it’s often very different to how we thought it would be – we learn, deepen and grow, through the reflections that we offer each other, and the realisation that we’re all in this together, and all here to learn.
We do indeed ‘learn, deepen and grow, through the reflections that we offer each other, and the realisation that we’re all in this together, and all here to learn.’ I know that without the reflections of others I would have given up on my body and the nurturing that supports us to expand and understand the fineness of the detail and sensitivity, taking us forever deeper.
I agree – stubbornness is refusal to be open to another way/view. We can be very aware but stubbornness digs its heels in and traps us in the comfort of utter discomfort where we fight against everything that is already moving on, and we think we are buying ourselves time therefore can avoid responsibility, but this manoeuvring is excruciatingly suffocating.
An, yes, I can feel the truth of this Fumiyo – as you say ‘in the comfort of utter discomfort where we fight against everything that is already moving on’ we indulge fooling ourselves, and in this ruse we are also holding back on the whole of humanity.
Hi Susan, our bodies are amazing in their constant communication and how great that you were able to listen and learn from it later in life and let go of the stubbornness. Your blog is a clear reflection of how, when we make changes in ourselves and open ourselves up to others, all our communications change and we feel more supported by everyone around us, and life is then less of a battle.
Yes, and with your words I can feel that opening to surrender……..
“I am now beginning to realize that the way I have lived life is not that of a healthy woman but a woman who has struggled through life stubbornly not listening to others in case I may have to look at my part in what goes wrong and take responsibility.” Love this this is so true and if we could be this honest about how we live, and the lack of willingness to take responsibility for all our choices in life, I feel sure that we would not have all the overwhelming illnesses we have in the world today
What a difference in your experience at the hospital – it is very easy to give our power away to experts who seem to know what they are doing, and in the process we leave our bodies out of it. But what if we took a moment to truly honour what we feel and raise the standards of simply being told what to do?
And in this way we become equal partners in our own health and the quality of our livingness.
How beautiful to change your experience of the examination simply by changing your own attitude to the people involved. Sometimes small changes we make can have a huge impact on many other areas of our lives.
Yes, it’s often by becoming aware of the details and intricacies that we unfold and release old patterns.
Sometimes it is not until something is really uncomfortable that we seek medical advice or assistance, and it is sometime after that we start to work out that it is through the choices we make everyday that either help to heal or harm us and we have a responsibility to let go of all that is not us.
It’s interesting that we treat ourselves – and in particular our body with such disregard – and yet, I am feeling that at last that this is changing as I learn to love and appreciate my body and that my body in return shows it’s own appreciation in return and at times feels so yummy.
” I realised that if I was to meet the same surgeon it was my responsibility to change this meeting into a different, more pleasant and loving experience.” Taking responsibility for all of our experiences is empowering – as you have shown in your blog Susan.
And in reading your comment I can feel that, five years on from writing this blog my approach would be different again as my unfolding openness and transparency brings a greater sense of equality into all of my relationships on a daily basis. The wonderful thing about life is that it is forever expanding and changing.
“I am starting to see that my stubbornness is about me holding onto the way ‘I have always done things’ and how I think life should be and that this arrogance does not serve or support me being who I truly am”. Loved reading your blog today Susan, I have become very aware through my body giving me a big stop, how stubbornness affects not only the flow in my life but the flow for others and just how arrogant stubbornness is. Having had 2 Colonoscopies last year within a few weeks of each other I can feel just how much stubbornness there is for me to let go of.
I love how literally the wisdom of the body speaks. If we are stubborn and will not let go of rigid ideals and beliefs, this will manifest physically as the bowels not letting go of waste. The waste here being all that does not serve our vehicle of expression (physical form) to thrive so this includes both the physical faeces but also the ideals and beliefs that hold us back from living the richness of who we truly are. It seems that we can ignore things at an energetic level but not so when it manifests in the physicality. It is pretty hard to ignore constipation and this can be said also of all illness and disease be that cancer, indigestion, diabetes, influenza etc. This is why it is said and understood esoterically that ‘the body is the marker of all truth’.
It is true what you say Liane, and yet although it is pretty hard to ignore the messages of our body as they become more extreme, we nevertheless still continue to live in a way that totally disregards this innate wisdom with an arrogance that is so far from our natural divine way.
I have had my fair share of colon issues, which have brought me to look at how stubborn I have been in the past. I have lived a long time ignorantly thinking I wasn’t stubborn, then to discover that I had many ideals and beliefs about life that I used to not grow and evolve. Now I’m re-learning a movement in my body that’s about surrender and flow, trust and understanding. Allowing space so I can see what next is on offer instead of trying to control what is never possible to control; life.
‘Now I’m re-learning a movement in my body that’s about surrender and flow, trust and understanding. Allowing space so I can see what next is on offer instead of trying to control what is never possible to control; life’ – what you are offering Kim is a way of life that is unfolding and brings so much simplicity Reading your words I can feel an expansiveness that is allowing and embracing and not about holding onto a way of living that causes separation from the divine being that we are. When we let go we can feel the beholding spaciousness that surrounds us.
I always find it very humbling when I get ill, it’s like we can struggle on, we can be stubborn, we can hold onto things and not want to move forwards but our body innately knows better and it lets us know in no uncertain terms that we are hurting it and we can’t carry on this way – so when something is wrong we have no choice but to surrender, accept healing and support and let go of whatever is holding us back.
Yes, Meg it is humbling and if we are open to it can be a wonderful opportunity to really honour all the wisdom we are privy to when we explore the deeper meaning that is always there to be explored and expanded.
It’s a bit like when we get ill it’s an opportunity to upgrade the way we approach both life and ourselves – with a renewed and refreshed sense of care, and also a deeper understanding of ourselves and of what choice in life that led us to this point.
I love the notion of upgrading ‘the way we approach both life and ourselves’ – and put in this way we can at any moment choose to evolve our understanding and wisdom and to expand our way of living life to the full without reservation or limitation.