Healing Choices and Abnormal Pap Smears

by Amina Tumi, Hair Salon Owner, London

When I was 20, I had a Pap smear test, which was abnormal. Because of this I have had to have yearly tests since then. I had colposcopy and treatment 6 years ago but every smear test was abnormal, until 2012.  Last year and this year the results have been normal again. I have not had any additional treatment since the colposcopy six years ago although it is possible I missed follow up appointments due to moving house and changing doctors.

What strikes me as very interesting is that I have changed my life so very much in the last two years; the way I eat, the way I sleep, the way I work, the way I am with people. I feel that this cannot be a coincidence. I feel that my recent choices must have something to do with this change in my smear results.

How powerful are our choices if this is true? Well it has to be said I am very glad that I have started to make these life-changing choices now. I am 32 years old and I have had the threat of cancer hanging over me since I was 20. I do not want to suffer with some awful cancer if I can help it, and looking at these recent results it may be that I can help myself.

What I have asked myself is, why have I not taken time over my teens and early twenties to reassess how I was living and how this could affect me when I am older? I remember thinking that being old was so long away and that we get old and die anyway, so there is really no need to think about being old now, that now was always about having fun and working hard. But what I now see as I stand here at the age of 32 years is we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.

What would the end result be if I did not stop and change the way I was living?

What have I already done to my body thus far that cannot be undone?

These are questions I find myself asking now, which feels a much more realistic way of looking at it, than the ‘whatever, you only live once’ attitude that I once had.

It can feel like we are going to miss something if we don’t go to that party or visit that friend, or it can feel that the world will end if you don’t get certain jobs done, but what about asking your body “Hey, how are you feeling today and what would you like to do?” and “How would you like to do it?”

I have started a relationship with myself and this is how I see the changes in my life. I do not just do things because everyone else does or because it is expected of me. I also say no to others if I feel their hectic crazy life is impacting mine. I see myself as important and worth spending time on. Although I have much work to do here, I do not feel in a rush and I am enjoying me along the way.

 

 

252 thoughts on “Healing Choices and Abnormal Pap Smears

  1. I like the point you have made about having a relationship with yourself, that’s the first relationship we have to master.

  2. “…. what about asking your body “Hey, how are you feeling today and what would you like to do?” and “How would you like to do it?”” Some great questions Amina – and ones i didn’t ask myself until I came to Universal Medicine presentations. A few years on, these seem such obvious questions to ask ourselves…….,

  3. “I have started a relationship with myself” this feels great, yes we do have a relationship with ourselves, and it is up to us whether that is a loving one or not.

  4. An amazing credit to The Way Of the Livingness” that you have turned things around so well.

  5. When we know that our body is just a vehicle for enhousing us this life time, and that our essence goes on for many lives, there suddenly is a point to looking after the energy we take with us over and over again, that energy being affected by our many choices.

  6. Gosh, thank you for reminding me of the effects of that “we only live once” attitude that completely negates our natural way of honouring ourselves as we live each day.

  7. When I was 20 I was suffering with depression. I often look back at this time and wonder how much that experience has changed my life since and how much more self-aware I am because of it. There is no doubt that the experience of depression meant that I chose a different way of being in life. I recognise now that some of my choices were driven by fear rather than love of myself, but do appreciate that a crisis – or the threat of a crisis – is a wake up call, and choosing to ‘wake up’ has been crucial to the course of my life.

  8. Amina your blog is such an inspiration your wrote: “I do not want to suffer with some awful cancer if I can help it, and looking at these recent results it may be that I can help myself.” That is really an invitation to get a deeper relationship with oneself.

  9. Remarkable that with changes in your lifestyle that results can be seen so quickly. Too often we go into oh well too little too late, but if we are here for lifetimes it is never too late

  10. Thank-you for sharing what you’ve experienced Amina. Your words here feel to open the way to such a powerful self-realisation: “I feel that my recent choices must have something to do with this change in my smear results.”
    The changes in your test results are remarkable, and yet, what medicine may not be able to fully measure yet today, the quality of how we live our lives – how truly self-caring and loving we are in our every day – means far more than any such results can ever tell… For this quality changes our very relationship with ourselves. Are we truly loving? And if not, why not? What’s going on if we allow habits and ‘stuff’ in our lives that is abusive to who we are – as the delicate and fine beings we are, and also importantly, our physical bodies?
    The change in your results is a miracle in my books, and so worth sharing. As is the greater ‘miracle’ if you will, of a woman returning to her natural way of loving and caring for herself. We are all worthy of such deep treasuring.

  11. When I was younger I was really flippant and arrogant on some level, fully knowing that how I was living was unhealthy (smoking, late nights, drinking) but thought ‘oh but I will sort it out when I am older and have ‘fun’ now’. Omg little did I know the more unloving we are with ourselves helps to create more unloving moments until we end up getting further and further away from who we truly are and our true purpose. We should be telling this all to the younger generations and having conversations with them so they get to hear about another way to live. Our choices in lifestyle and diet vastly affect our bodies (how could it not!). I have started to heal psoriasis just by changing my diet and have also healed painful periods; so yes we can start to heal ourselves easily if we choose to. Serge Bebhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me to feel, see and understand this and it is something I am continually learning.

  12. Another article about choice, how important that short word is, how our choices bring consequences, and these consequences steer the ship of our life… its powerful stuff and true.

  13. This is inspiring to read Amina. I love to read that you have had a’ complete turn around’ to now having a relationship with yourself. You say ” I do not just do things because everyone else does or because its expected of me. I also say no to others if I feel their hectic crazy life is impacting mine. I also see myself as important and worth spending the time on..” I can truly relate to this way of being also.

  14. “but what I now see as I stand here at the age of 32 years is we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.”

    What an awesome sharing Amina. We are taught to abuse our bodies in so many ways, taking for granted the way the body heals itself and does it’s best to come back to harmony. Rarely do we get support to treasure the body we have been given.

  15. It was startling to read we spend more time being old than we do young but it is true, and for a large part of our youth, if not all of it, we tend to push the limits of our bodies and bounce back without respecting that our bodies have many more years to live and may not always be so resilient. It makes far more sense to grow up respecting and caring for ourselves than to wear the body down and put our complaints down to ‘old age’ as if we had nothing to do with it.

  16. What a great example of preventative medicine. That life ‘is’ medicine, lifestyle choices do matter and they then can have an impact on your physical health. You are evidence of this fact, which is really amazing.

  17. Even though we age, I can say I feel better now in my forties than I did in my twenties and the reason for this is because of more self caring lifestyle choices which have been presented by Universal Medicine.

  18. Amina this is a great sharing. I also like your comment on the fact that we spend more time being old and I agree that we need to look after ourselves and building a body of love through the way we self nurture, what we eat and drink and our sleep habits . These combine to nurture us.

  19. I totally understand that feeling of missing out on life… And living in a way that was totally supportive of my true vitality, in a desire to not miss out on life! Strange as it may seem, this is how many many people are living. How many of us stay up later at night then we should to have some “ me” time. Such a simple example but I know that millions of parents do this. It wasn’t until the courses of Universal Medicine open my eyes to the innate rhythms that our body has, that I was able to start to live in a way that really supported me, and I found that far from missing out on life, I was actually starting to live life truly for the first time.

  20. Amina I really enjoyed what you shared here as it offers us all a stopping point, to consider the fact that the way we live our life does have consequences and that beliefs such as “you only live once” can have deep ongoing impacts. You raise some great points about the fact why don’t we stop and consider our choices when our body reflects back to us the effect of our ill choices? Why does it often have to take a huge event to stop us in our tracks and make us question when our body is forever communicating? I feel the key as you have so beautifully described is in developing a relationship with self. Making the time and space for you and honouring without question or doubt what you feel and what your body so clearly communicates.

  21. Amina, I love the way you have taken responsibility, and have made more self loving choices for yourself, and not been swayed by what others are doing, or expect you to join in with. It is quite amazing how our body responds to the self loving choices that we make and how the body can begin to heal itself, simply by the choices we make.

  22. Amina I remember that line “whatever, you only live once”. I used to live that way up until I wss 35yrs, looking back I lived a busy, full of drama life. No consideration about how my body or I felt. I was always on the move, ready to go, please everyone. When I started to understand the importance of me and how I felt and how my body was suffering, I started to make different choices. Choices which are more loving and supportive for me, as I started to really understand and appreciate me.

  23. Choosing to live your life, instead of being lived by others is taking responsibility for your own choices. How important is our relationship with ourselves and with our bodies… it is the key for vitality, love and true purpose in life.

  24. When I appreciate myself I want to cherish and take care. This also has a huge impact on my ability to speak up in situations as I feel my voice is of equal importance to everyone else.

  25. The thing that I am starting to enjoy is that there is no finished product to aim for. When I feel my presence and my essence in what I am doing, I have already got everything that I have been looking for my whole life. Nothing can take that away except the choice I make, or sudden death caused by an airplane crashing onto my house. Now it is time to share the magnificence I feel inside.

  26. This is something I have not considered before “we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.” So it shows how necessary it is to be educating young girls while they are growing up on the importance of caring for themselves and their bodies.

  27. Our choices are indeed very powerful and have far reaching consequences.
    Thank you Amina for sharing your story.
    I appreciate your level of self awareness and responsibility and the level at which you are honouring yourself.

  28. Great sharing Amina, I like very much and is key what you shared in the last paragragh. ” I have started a relationship with myself ” It was very reassuring and honouring the reflections you shared.

  29. What struck me in this sharing, Amina, was the youthful invincibility that did not see one’s health or one’s self as precious and something to be taken care of. I know this attitude was the same for me at this age, and I see it in many others of this age. This is something we do need to question, as I know the education I received did not offer common sense principles of how to be or live in a way that is caring or loving.

    1. I agree Marcia – ‘What I have asked myself is, why have I not taken time over my teens and early twenties to reassess how I was living and how this could affect me when I am older?’ was a point which I found very interesting. I too have recently pondered over how different my life might be now if I had made different choices in my teens and twenties with the understanding of life I have now and asked the question why I did not have this then.

      1. Absolutely Michael and what we are talking about are basic common sense principles of how to live in a way that is actually natural for us. It astounds me as to why this is not common knowledge or our common way to live and be.

      2. Michael, I have been pondering too, how my life might have been if I had made different choices in my teens, twenties and thirties with the understanding of life I have now. However I am very grateful that I have connected to this understanding and knowing and I now have the chance to make loving choices for me.

  30. For your pap smear results to return to normal after so many years of concern shows the truly remarkable power of your choices. You are living proof of the harm or healing effect that the way we live can have on our body and you are a living testament to what Universal Medicine has presented regarding the importance in taking responsibility for our health through the choices we make.

  31. Reading your words Amina, it’s clear the changes you have made to your life are not slight adjustments but a whole new way of being. Your deep commitment to this new relationship with your body comes across in all you mention. Inspiring.

  32. How beautiful to read of the choices you have made that have had a obvious loving impact on your body. I remember that intense need to not be left out or felt I was missing out on going to something social and it would be the end of the world if I didn’t go. My body was at the whim of all my insecurities and how I thought I needed to make up for this. It’s lovely now saying ‘no’ to pushing myself or ‘no’ to going to something if I don’t feel to.

  33. A very truthful sharing Amina. I feel that we need to be taught to listen to our bodies when we are young to make it a normal thing that we do for our own health and wellbeing. If this became a normal practice, how many people would be spared so much suffering in later years!

  34. Our education at school is all about getting a job. It fails to teach you anything about life, about supporting yourself once you leave school and home. We are mass producing exhausted teenagers who believe they have to get the best job, believing they’ll start at the top, earn good money so they can spend it on cars, holidays, houses etc, it’s all about rewarding yourself. No one tells you at that age that you should invest in your health and well being. Maybe it’s the arrogance of being youthful, believing that you’re still young enough to not need to worry about your body. The mind never ages so therefore you never think you’re old even though your body is telling you otherwise.

  35. Thank you Amina!! Incredible. We constantly look to the Medical industry to fix our problems, but “it may be that I can help myself” (ourselves). I just wanted to share a few things you have said that are truly truly life changing: “reassess how I was living and how this could affect me when I am older?” “What would the end result be if I did not stop and change the way I was living?” and “What have I already done to my body thus far that cannot be undone?”. This needs to be shared to the world! An inspiring reality check for us all.

  36. When we truly stuck to connect with ourselves, we start to feel responsibility and consequences in a hitherto for unknown way… We start to feel the effects of the way we live and have lived, the effects of how we speak and we have spoken, we start to truly understand that there is no escaping the consequences of our actions. And yet at the same time, we are at the doorway of our inner heart, so that with responsibility comes the possibility of joy and harmony.

  37. Wouldn’t it have been great if we’d been taught as children that ‘we actually spend more time being old than we do being young’ and therefore how crucial it is to respect and honour at all times the way we treat the vehicle that we’re housed in? Oscar Wilde said ‘Youth is wasted on the young’, but wisdom will be wasted by the old if we don’t pass on such gems as you describe to our children in time for them to be of real use in supporting the choices they make towards their long-term health.

  38. “Although I have much work to do here, I do not feel in a rush and I am enjoying me along the way.” I love this sentence Amina! This is key to a healthy, vital and joyful life.

  39. The whatever, you only live once, mentality is so not healthy long term! There is absolute truth in your words that ‘we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it’. How we live accumulates in our body. All our lifestyle choices accumulate in our body and sometimes are expressed as an illness or an acute or chronic disease to bring attention as we age to what needs to be healed. Great blog Amina.

    1. Suse I also hear the comment “if I die now I’m happy with what I have achieved” it’s kind of like I’ve packed so much into my youth I’ve had the best time, what is there to do when you’re old? We need to start educating our young that you can maintain your vitality and energy as you age. Life still can be fun in your 30s or 40s. It’s kind of like the young believe they don’t have to be responsible – you do that when you get old.

    2. I love this line Suse as well, how we spend more time being old. I lived with an arrogance that I could do whatever to my body, push it hard or work and work till I was exhausted and because it didn’t shut down or stop I believed it was always going to keep up.

      Now at 39 I’m feeling the consequences of my choices when I was young. At first it has been a ‘ouch’ and ‘oops’ moment, but also appreciating how much my body tells me now and how much I listen and not override.

  40. I love the new level of responsibility you are discovering and actioning for yourself here Amina, as well as a deeper level of appreciation of what you can bring to the world by developing that connection with yourself.

  41. I used to get abnormal pap smear results when I was in my 20’s and drinking lots of alcohol and taking drugs. Since I have stopped that self abusive behavior and look after myself just by listening to my body and honouring it, my health on many levels has really improved and most of the time I feel amazing.

    1. It must be scary to live with these results but it must also give a strong reminder that something isn’t right. Men seem to miss these. When I do insurance applications, women tend to have a much longer list of past medical issues but it is the men who die first, as if their first doctor’s appointment may be their last…

      1. Yeah, right, that is really interesting Christoph. I wonder if that is because it is seen as a weakness within our societies for men to take care of themselves in this way?

      2. Very interesting Christoff. I agree Pernilla that within our society it is seen as a weakness for men to take care of themselves for the most part.

  42. “We actually spend more time being old than we do being young” – this, I have never thought like that, but it’s so true. I never factored in this inevitable fact when I was young, and never considered how what I was doing as a young person would have an impact on how I would be later in the years, of course once I was older I look back and regret some (many) of the choices I made, but never the other way around. Interesting to realise how I have perceived time and ended up segmentalising my life, believing past/present/future are somehow unrelated, and adopting irresponsible pattern of behaviours.

  43. Our choices are really powerful. It is amazing how much so. And how fast and deep is the turn around. So, it is not coincidence that your health started to improve as you made different choices. Humanity needs to know this.

    1. I agree humanity needs to know this, that through making different choices our body has the chance to heal. It is when we all start to share our experience, and the miracles that have happened and healing taken place then maybe humanity will wake up.

      1. It could be said that humanity do not want to be woken up, that we are happy with our current circle of misery and misfortune. And so if this is the case, what needs to take place for us to actually consider that there is another way of living that does not need to have all of the illness, disease, pain, injuries, suicides and the many more issues that now are occurring. The Umimedliving website touches on so many of the ways we can truly make changes to our life, that have put a stop to many of my ill patterns.

  44. I love how you say that ‘we actually spend more time being old than we do being young’ which is very true and not only that but we spend these older and longer years in a body that has to deal with the consequences of the younger years lived with irresponsibility and carelessness.

    1. I too love that line Esther, as it struck me that the beliefs often held within society are to live for the now, to hell with the consequences. Yet it is this attitude and these consequences of choosing to live largely irresponsibly that leads to our ill health. What I love about what Amina shares is that is never too late to begin a new relationship with self, it is all just a matter of taking the time to stop, feel and be with ourselves in the moment and to consider that each moment makes up the life we live.

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