Healing Choices and Abnormal Pap Smears

by Amina Tumi, Hair Salon Owner, London

When I was 20, I had a Pap smear test, which was abnormal. Because of this I have had to have yearly tests since then. I had colposcopy and treatment 6 years ago but every smear test was abnormal, until 2012.  Last year and this year the results have been normal again. I have not had any additional treatment since the colposcopy six years ago although it is possible I missed follow up appointments due to moving house and changing doctors.

What strikes me as very interesting is that I have changed my life so very much in the last two years; the way I eat, the way I sleep, the way I work, the way I am with people. I feel that this cannot be a coincidence. I feel that my recent choices must have something to do with this change in my smear results.

How powerful are our choices if this is true? Well it has to be said I am very glad that I have started to make these life-changing choices now. I am 32 years old and I have had the threat of cancer hanging over me since I was 20. I do not want to suffer with some awful cancer if I can help it, and looking at these recent results it may be that I can help myself.

What I have asked myself is, why have I not taken time over my teens and early twenties to reassess how I was living and how this could affect me when I am older? I remember thinking that being old was so long away and that we get old and die anyway, so there is really no need to think about being old now, that now was always about having fun and working hard. But what I now see as I stand here at the age of 32 years is we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.

What would the end result be if I did not stop and change the way I was living?

What have I already done to my body thus far that cannot be undone?

These are questions I find myself asking now, which feels a much more realistic way of looking at it, than the ‘whatever, you only live once’ attitude that I once had.

It can feel like we are going to miss something if we don’t go to that party or visit that friend, or it can feel that the world will end if you don’t get certain jobs done, but what about asking your body “Hey, how are you feeling today and what would you like to do?” and “How would you like to do it?”

I have started a relationship with myself and this is how I see the changes in my life. I do not just do things because everyone else does or because it is expected of me. I also say no to others if I feel their hectic crazy life is impacting mine. I see myself as important and worth spending time on. Although I have much work to do here, I do not feel in a rush and I am enjoying me along the way.

 

 

209 thoughts on “Healing Choices and Abnormal Pap Smears

  1. As you say…what if it is the choices you are now making that are having such a profound effect on your body. Well done for keeping them going. You are clearly living good medicine for yourself.

  2. There’s such an arrogance in our youth that it could look like one huge setup to stop us from living a self-loving and self-nurturing life if we were inclined to look at it this way. If we did chose this instead it would cause a paradigm shift in the existence the majority of humanity have been choosing to live in. Bring it on!

  3. “I have started a relationship with myself and this is how I see the changes in my life.” So simple yet so amazingly profound – highly recommended!

  4. A profound realisation Amina that how we live today affects our tomorrow and the choices we make in one life will meet us in the next. There is no ‘getting away with it’ as the ‘it’ is living without love.

  5. That is a great point Amina that we spend far more time being old than we do being young, and this is becoming more and more true as modern medicine contrives to keep everyone living longer at all costs without consideration for their quality of life. So yes taking a responsible approach to caring for the one body that we have for this life makes more than a little sense!

  6. ‘ I see myself as important and worth spending time on.’ At the end of the day the reason we do not do this is because we have allowed ourselves to think so badly of ourselves that we no longer love ourselves but show signs of the exact opposite, with lack of true care or sometimes even basic respect. Our education system and societal structure does not support us unless it is to see us become more assertive and often aggressive to get what we want and are led to believe we deserve. Coming back to basics like treating ourselves gently and bringing more awareness to our movements and how we really feel can go a long way to turning this around.

  7. Imagine if we listen to our bodies enough so that we don’t need wake-up calls, but are actually ahead of the game, and are at the point of being able to be guided by the extraordinary intelligence of our bodies and our hearts

  8. Great to always check in with our bodies and see how they are feeling, they communicate so much with us and have much wisdom.

  9. The attitude of “We only live once” drives us to not miss out in any temporal activity that would feed us back recognition in the expense of our own body, which we disregard, or we would be afraid of everything and will similarly not commit to life in fear—both ways we are choosing to miss out on having a connection with ourselves and a relationship with the life that we are in. The game changer that you have shared Amina is building a relationship with yourself, a loving relationship that is.

  10. What wise words Amina, a paragraph that could change our whole outlook on life and self care from an early age. “But what I now see as I stand here at the age of 32 years is we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.”

  11. Not doing things because everyone else does or because it’s expected of you, but because your whole body wants to do something.. this is a totally different way of being in the world and one that I am only just beginning to explore, after always saying yes to everything. But every time I make a choice that is based on how and what my body is feeling, my body thanks me for it and shares more with me about how it’s feeling.

  12. I too had many abnormal pap smears in my twenties and surgery at one point. I too also did not look at how I was living or take what was on offer in the way of my body communicating that something was not right. At that time in my twenties I was very disconnected from myself as a woman, both physically in the body and energetically. I wouldn’t have been able to tell you where my ovaries were, at what stage I was at in my cycle nor could I connect to anything within me that felt womanly. As my connection and expression to me and of me as a woman had grown and deepened, life has changed. And I have not had an abnormal pap smear, in fact I now even love going to have a pap smear as it feels so glorious to care for myself.

  13. Amina great question ‘What I have asked myself is, why have I not taken time over my teens and early twenties to reassess how I was living and how this could affect me when I am older?’ We make many choices in our younger adult years that affect our life as we grow older, and there are moments that give us a clue that we need to change how we are living, the key is to be honest, and connected to our body so we don’t miss the messages that are available.

  14. These words really jumped out at me ‘It can feel like we are going to miss something if we don’t go to that party or visit that friend’, and I would like to add, or go to see the latest movie or TV program. What exactly are we missing out on when we are pulled along to do these things that distract us – only comfort and numbing.

  15. ‘….we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.’ True Amina and how wonderful it is that there are people like yourself who are making different, loving choices and reflect to others how life is truly enjoyable when you take care for yourself and your own health.

    1. Indeed youth is only a small part of one’s life, then we we spend most of our lives aging. Yet the media puts almost all its focus on youth at the expense of all who are post youth.

  16. Ill health is without doubt an opportunity to stop and re-assess how we are living. It is lovely to hear how you reviewed your circumstances and decided to support the healing with change in your life.

  17. Age is relative. I remember at 21 and celebrating a birthday of someone who was 30 and thinking that they were old and to a 5 year old someone who is 20 is old. We have the same body at 5 that we still have at 80 and it will reflect to us all the choices we have made in life in the intervening span.

  18. “….we actually spend more time being old than we do being young and so this brings to my attention the serious importance of taking responsibility for my own body and how I am with it and how I treat it.” Great observation and one that is overlooked by most of us, especially when we are ‘young’. I now know people in their twenties and younger who have been inspired by Universal Medicine to live their lives with predominantly deeply loving and caring choices and through them I can feel the tides is turning. It just takes one person to reflect that there is indeed another choice for this to become a possibility for every single one of us – young or old.

  19. I love this Amina, developing a relationship with you – in having a truly self-nurturing love affair with oneself is the key to deep healing within the body, as the changes in your health are a living testimony to.
    “I have started a relationship with myself and this is how I see the changes in my life”.

  20. It is amazing just how big a difference it can make once we start to value ourselves and take greater care of ourselves. Most of our illness and disease can be traced back to a lack of self care in all aspects of our lives.

  21. The questions you are asking yourself are vitally important for everyone to consider and it is crucial that we all start to take more responsibility for how we look after our bodies as our health services are struggling to cope with the consequences of so much disregard. The fact that your test results are now clear is an amazing testimony to the changes that you have made and it would be awesome if this information was widely available to encourage others to consider how simple changes could improve their health.

  22. There seems to be a fairly prevalent attitude of living for today and this is having a dire effect on our long-term health. In my work I see many clients who are living with the consequences of long-term health conditions and several of them are in their 40’s and 50’s, so not only are they having to cope with significant amounts of pain etc., but also they are no longer able to work, so they are not able to contribute to society and are often fairly housebound, which means that their mental health suffers as well.

  23. Explaining the unexplainable by staying within the boundaries of conventional medicine is impossible. Yet, what is unexplainable according to them happens. It is time to be humble and to accept that there are factors that have to be added into the equation of our health and wellbeing. Choices is one of them.

  24. We really do think we have everything worked out when we are young, and how we look around and think when we get older we are not going to be like our parents, or friends’ parents or others that we see, yet we were all young once and probably thinking along the same lines. It was not until my 40’s that I realised that the real difference is in the choices that I make, and the more loving those choices are, support me far more than I had ever realised.

  25. The quality of life we are living today is a direct consequence of previous choices we have made. We are constantly saying ‘yes’ to a quality of energy, one that heals or one that harms, one that confirms who we are or one that opposes who we are, one that is love or one that is loveless. The choice is forever and always ours to make. Learning and understanding this truth has been life changing and empowering in that realising that this responsibility is ours, inspires a willingness to be aware of what I am choosing, why and how this plays out in my body and the quality of life I live.

  26. In the intensity and demands of life we often don’t take time to consider the impact of how we are in life and rarely stop to perform things in a gentle and supportive quality but rather in the rush of ticking boxes at our own expense. It is often unusual to have a relationship with ourselves where we deeply feel our worth and make choices to honour that, however it is inspiring to see that you and many others who have written here, have experienced quite profound results from making these true and loving choices for yourselves.

  27. Super confirming results from your pap smear. Interestingly, just before I started to study with Universal Medicine I had a very abnormal pap smear too, I was given a pamphlet that was titled “so, you have cancer”. I was 19 at the time, I had been very irresponsible with my health and well being up until that point. After attending Universal Medicine presentations I decided to take care of myself, the cancer never fully developed and after my colposcopy all my paps have been normal, I also put this result down to the massive change in life style.

  28. The ‘whatever, you only live once’ mentality completely disrespects our human body and has to be seen as a major contributing factor that only serves to add to the responsibilities of our already overburdened health care system.

  29. I had a big wakeup call from my body last week when I had to do a fitness test which involved running for several minutes, starting slowly and speeding up. I wasn’t able to complete the test which instead of seeing as a failure, I felt as a humbling blessing and the most deeply loving message from my body to get fit for life. It’s so easy to sit back arrogantly in a healthy, slim body and ignore it’s calls for regular exercise to support it to carry us through our lives with vitality and energy, but as I gratefully discovered, at 48, we need to pay attention and deeply love and honour our body in the way it loves and honours us – Unconditionally.

  30. It is so true that when we are young we see getting old as something that will happen way off in the future and some of us distance ourselves from it if we can. And then there comes a time when we realise that picture of what it means to get older is not that far away, and that maybe we could have looked after ourselves a lot more than we had up until that point. From my own experience, it is never too late to start.

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