Gentleness in Surgery and Universal Medicine

by Eunice J Minford MA FRCS Ed, Antrim, N Ireland

One of the first teachings I received as a trainee surgeon many years ago, was to be gentle with the tissues when operating. As a medical student and junior doctor, I would hear bosses advise the more senior trainees to ‘be gentle’ or sometimes hear them being chastised for being too rough. It is well-recognised within surgery, that gentle handling of the tissues is important in the overall success of the operation and in minimising post-operative complications. It is one of the fundamental teachings in surgery.

It may just seem like ‘common sense’ to be gentle and have respect for the tissues and to minimise trauma in surgery but this is also supported by science with a reduction in the inflammatory response. So there is scientific support to show that being gentle and minimising tissue trauma is beneficial for the patient. But why should this gentleness be restricted to surgical operations?? If it is necessary to be gentle with a body when it is on the operating table, surely it would also make sense that we should be gentle with it off the operating table?? It’s unlikely that the beneficial effects of being gentle with the body are just confined to the time that body is undergoing an operation. It doesn’t make sense to think that it’s ok to be rough and aggressive with the body in one’s daily life and only when it’s having an operation does the surgeon need to be gentle with it. If gentleness is beneficial on the table, it is surely also beneficial off the table, as we go about our daily lives.

Of course, I had never quite thought of it like that until I came to Universal Medicine and the presentations of Serge Benhayon and learned about the importance of being gentle with ourselves and our bodies from an energetic perspective. This was a whole new area to me and one that I would have previously dismissed and derided. However, I have come to know and realise for myself the importance of being gentle in my daily life. Indeed, it is fair to say that even though I endeavoured to  handle tissues gently in surgery, outside of the operating theatre, I wasn’t very gentle with myself. I could be quite hard, tough, aggressive even – at times bull-dozing my way through life. Frustration and anger bubbled away, all too ready to be expressed.  I lived a hard lifestyle of long hours at work and at play. There was very little in the way of gentleness, tenderness or true care for myself.

Thanks to Serge Benhayon and  Universal Medicine, I now realise the importance of being gentle, tender and caring for myself – but not just for myself but for those around me as well.  I now realise, that how I live every day comes with me to the operating table. And so, even though I thought I was being gentle with the tissues inside the operating room, I was also bringing into it the hardness, the frustration, the anger etc  that I was also carrying. I now know that we are not isolated beings, but energetic beings, where we are all interconnected. So my state of being, my quality of being influences those around me, whether they are on an operating table or not. I now realise that we cannot compartmentalise sections of our life and do what I used to do – endeavour to be gentle with the tissues in the operating room but have no gentleness for myself outside of it. For in order to be truly gentle in the operating room, I need to be truly gentle outside of it as well, in how I live my  life on a daily basis.

This applies to all areas of life…..nothing and nowhere is left out. It means being gentle in all activities, all expressions, talking, walking, exercise, making love, even something as simple as closing a door or brushing one’s teeth. The more we build that gentleness in our daily activities, the more it is just our natural way of being, we don’t have to try to be gentle – we just are. In Serge Benhayon I have witnessed what it means to be truly gentle, truly tender and caring with one’s self, and the way that he lives his life in this way is inspiring.

So although I understood it was important to be gentle with the tissues in an operating theatre, it wasn’t until I came to Universal Medicine that I learned the importance of being gentle in all areas of my life and how that impacted not just myself, but all those around me. Through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I gained a deeper understanding of why gentleness is important and how it helps to re-connect us back to our true state of being, which is love and stillness. For me, this continues to be a work in progress within what can be the stressful reality of the operating theatre. However, I am now much more aware of the things that ‘press my buttons’ or take me out of that gentle way of being and thus can take steps to come back to it more quickly.

How amazing would it be if this was part of medical training? To understand that in any interaction or operation we bring to the table, or the consultation, all that we live. To understand that we cannot just put on a white coat and think that will cover up any bits of ourselves or our behaviour we are perhaps less than happy with or which our patients would be less than happy with. From an energetic perspective there is no cover up, there is no hiding place – we bring all that we live to all that we do.

Eunice J Minford MA FRCS Ed
Consultant Surgeon
The Soulful Doctor


Disclaimer: Eunice Minford works as a surgeon according to the principles and practices of Conventional Evidence Based Medicine. She also shares what she has learned beyond the confines of evidence based medicine based on a holistic approach to understanding life, the human being, illness and disease and healing and it is for the reader to discern if what is shared is, or could possibly be, true or not.

242 thoughts on “Gentleness in Surgery and Universal Medicine

  1. “For in order to be truly gentle in the operating room, I need to be truly gentle outside of it as well, in how I live my life on a daily basis.” I noticed this the other day, whilst people might know it is important to be gentle with the tissues, it can totally get ignored because of the tension and anxiousness that is in the practitioner’s body. So it is super important to have a livingness, a lived experience, of this gentleness so we can’t but be gentle and tender when we do our job or come by other people in our days. We can’t hide how we are anyway as it is all felt even without touching each other and can be equally imposing in this way.

  2. ” if gentleness is beneficial on the table, it is surely also beneficial off the table, as we go about our daily lives.”
    This just makes practical sense, even when we meet people and they are gentle in their action and words we all benefit from this form of expression.

  3. There is no cover-up, no hiding from an energetic perspective, and this is something that really changes how we live … so as shared here, being gentle in a particular instance (surgery) but not in life doesn’t work in how we expect for in order to be truly gentle we need to live that everywhere, otherwise what we do is become less of how we naturally are, less gentle and more say, hard for example.

  4. Being gentle with ourselves, brings in a responsibility to be aware of how we pick things up, get dressed, wash up, in fact all activities we do, and when we do our body starts to feel more gentle and not as tight as it does when we forget to be gentle.

  5. How different life would be if we were all taught as young children to value and choose gentleness in all our movements.

  6. Eunice, this is a great reminder; ‘To understand that in any interaction or operation we bring to the table, or the consultation, all that we live.’ Often in society we think it is only how we are in that moment that counts, but reading this I can feel that it is our everyday livingness that’s important.

  7. ‘…we bring all that we live to all that we do’ Just by living our life responsibly, we make an enormous difference, changing harm for gentleness all around us.

  8. Having just come from a bodywork training course I realise how much we are supported by the gentle touch of another. The way they move and place the blanket over us, how they tenderly unwrinkle our clothes and make sure our clothes are not distracting in any way to our bodies, the way they place our arms and legs. The quality in which they first lay their hands on us. How they gracefully move around the massage table without bumping into it or being disruptive in any way. There is so much to appreciate here, and this goes for anything in life. The way we approach and carry out any activity can bring this sense of harmony.

    1. It’s a beautiful example of harmony Elaine, of how we can be making sure that our movements are not disruptive or imposing, and support those around us to be free to choose their own way. It also confirms how much healing we can bring to another by our tender and caring treatment well before the massage even begins.

  9. Because we don’t choose to see the ripple effects of everything we do, we can claim that certain situations don’t call for the same level of loving care as others, and then don’t bring our all to those things.

  10. Isn’t it amazing that we even have to learn to be gentle or loving with ourselves. It shows how far we left ourselves in the first place. I heard on the news today of a young man who started punching himself in the head and then started hitting his head on the pavement – other members of public came and restrained him but his self-violence had been so intense that he died. This is an extreme case but many are feeling the angst and whether they hit their heads on the pavement or inject themselves or consume junk food there is clearly a message that is not being listened to here.

  11. This article makes perfect sense and it’s a wonder we haven’t seen this before. When its presented to us in our training the power of gentleness we can see how it fits and how it applies directly and so we apply it however we still have found a way to turn it on and off. Meaning that when we walk out of the operating theatre in this case we don’t see we need to bring that same level of care to everything. Imagine the depth and care and gentleness of that holding when you live that ‘operating touch’ everywhere. I know for me how my life has changed from just being aware of the oneness of life and how everything I do at any point in my life is there with me at every point. This isn’t a pressure but more of a freedom knowing I don’t have to perform anything, all I need do is live consistently a quality and keep an awareness of how much deeper and deeper I can go and from there everything I move has that same quality with it. It is a simpler way to live and certainly takes the pressure off my shoulders.

  12. It makes so much sense that a Doctor or nurse would be encouraged to be gentle in the way they handle a patient’s organs or any body part. The energy that the Doctor does the operation in is so important too, as we are conscious of energy at all times!

  13. It is true it doesn’t make sense that we make an effort to be gentle when it is brought to our notice, as it was with you Eunice when you were being trained as a surgeon. We also know to be gentle and caring when we hold a baby, so it is naturally innate within us, but we tend to keep our gentleness for special occasions rather than allowing ourselves to be gentle all of the time.

  14. A great point raised here, Eunice – we cannot compartmentalize our life into sections and be a certain way in each one without affecting and getting affected by other parts.

  15. It only makes sense that the way we were before we entered the surgery room also comes into the room with us. I know that when I go to work, if I have had a bad morning that doesn’t just disappear, I never take it out on any of my staff or customers but my team can feel that I might be a little down or not as bouncy as usual. We can’t expect everything to just go away because we put on a white coat or in my case an apron. Universal Medicine has been tirelessly presenting on the fact that if we begin to take more responsibility for our actions, thoughts, food, exercise and choices, that we will be able to care and love people more deeply, as we are loving ourselves more deeply, common sense if you ask me.

  16. When we go about our business in a gentle manner it slows everyone down to move in a deeper connection and as a result the quality is far greater.

  17. We have become so ingrained in reality being only what you can see that we have led ourselves to believe that we can get away with things that can be hidden from sight. But as you so beautifully exposed, we bring all we live to what we do and so our choices impact everyone around us… a massive responsibility… yet one we can’t avoid only choose to be ignorant to.

  18. Awesome sharing Eunice, and this one pops to the fore for me today ‘From an energetic perspective there is no cover up, there is no hiding place – we bring all that we live to all that we do’ and this is in fact what we try to avoid but fortunately cannot, for each action leads to the next action and there is no off switch, so if I want to be gentle at work, I need to bring that quality of all other parts of my life; this makes complete sense but until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I did not truly consider this or live it and now I do and it’s changed my life and the quality of how I am with me and all others – there are no gaps, it’s one life.

  19. Such simple wisdom, yet profound if we truly want to put this into lived practice: “in order to be truly gentle in the operating room, I need to be truly gentle outside of it as well…”
    Until coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I would have thought myself to be a fairly ‘gentle’ person… haha… What I came to realise was that I had had no real idea of what this meant – and the enormous difference it could make – to bring gentleness to my movements, from the closing of a drawer or cupboard door, to the way I drive my car… absolutely everything. Embracing this upon coming to the presentations of Serge Benhayon, was challenging, and yet deeply transforming – for I found my body changing, and indeed my levels of vitality improving – all through the simple bringing of more aware presence to any one thing I was doing, and ‘how’ I was doing it.
    And so what you’ve shared here Eunice makes absolute sense to me – in that, we can’t expect a body that is by and large, ‘thrown into’ whatever it is that we may do, to be truly gentle in any one instance. It is the body that has developed and accepted such a way as its foundation, that can truly call upon such a quality when needed – as in the surgery you describe.
    In fact, part of the learning and awakening if you will, in all of this, has been that gentleness and to go further, a tender way with our bodies and beings, is actually needed not just in a particular given situation but actually at all times… The way we move, express and communicate is felt by all, all of the time, and humanity deserves to know that such intimacy of connection is indeed possible. And our bodies – they say, ‘hallelujah!’

  20. A great question – if we live that gentleness in everything we do… the cooking, cleaning, gardening, with our loved ones, our work colleagues and every aspect of life, then that gentleness will deepen. There will be more of it, and there would be no question that it was also being practised in surgery and with our clients / patients / customers.

  21. We bring all that we live to all that we do. There is simply no escaping this. We can make it look like we don’t on the outside, and we can fool people for a short period of time, but truth has a way of exposing itself, and in many different ways.

  22. We live in the ignorance and arrogance of the enormous impact our movements have on each other and within the whole. If we did we would at least question the ill choices we make.

  23. Can we expand our understanding of gentleness in medicine to include how we move, how we speak, how we listen, how we touch, how we look at another, even how our consultation rooms, homes and clinics are set up? We all have an energetic being or ’tissue’ that responds equally as well to gentleness as our physical tissues do in surgery.

  24. I had a recent experience with an anaesthetist that was as rough as I have ever known. And I Guess it reflected to me that we all have our own measure of what gentle is, and that we all need to reflect more gentleness to receive that quality in our lives. Whether your a surgeon, a bricklayer or a lawyer, whatever really, gentleness matters!

  25. Choosing to bring gentleness into what we do, is choosing to be much more present with what we are doing, and this is honouring and appreciating ourselves firstly for choosing this, and is honouring of whatever or whoever we are with, because the quality of what we do is truly caring.

    1. Thank you for this comment. For me doing Esoteric Yoga or bringing my focus back to my body and deepening my awareness from inside my body allows for a deeper connection and presence in all that I do, In this way I am naturally gentle and tender I do not have to try or think about it. This also engenders a feeling of honour, honour for myself and everything in life, it awakens an appreciation and a joy for life that can get lost when we focus on what we have to do or put our priorities on what is outside of us.

  26. Thank you Eunice, this is a truly great and so very important understanding you have come to. Yes, we have certain moments in life where we allow ourselves to be gentle but when we feel into this gentleness in these moments we can feel that our bodies do not respond with the gentleness and tenderness we would like to express as we have held our bodies hard and controlled in so many other moments. It makes absolute sense in order to be truly tender this tenderness needs to be lived in every moment and not just in selected ones.

  27. Through being gentle with myself I have come to heal the abuse and lovelessness that I had accepted as ‘normal’ in my life, and now understand that our truly ‘normal’ way of being is one that reflects and honors the gentleness of love we are in essence.

  28. It is amazing how when we are presented with the energetic truth we are able to more understand the absolute necessity of living a tender life. What Eunice has shared here with her experience as a surgeon can easily be transposed to how we are with a newborn child. All of us make the effort to be gentle in this situation, so we know how to be so. And all know deep inside how beautiful it feels, until though someone stands up and says why not live each moment like this, very few of us made the choice to do so.

  29. It seems to be a huge responsibility to operate on many people for sometimes hours on end, and what stands out is the toll on the physical bodies of the medical team, and after reading this how important it would be to have a body prepared in such away to be able to sustain such a task.

  30. In every moment we can either choose gentleness in our movements or we can choose to be rough and hard but knowing that in every movement I make either heals or harms it really does expose the responsibility I have to myself and to all of humanity.

  31. “we bring all that we live to all that we do.” There is a precious awareness and powerful responsibility in the way we choose to live and treat ourselves with tenderness that offers inspiration to others.

  32. What a great realisation you share here Eunice – it is amazing how we can live ‘in compartments’ and be unaware of the fact that everything we do and the quality in which we do it, impacts everything else. This only serves to keep us locked into separation and our own individuality.
    “I now realise, that how I live every day comes with me to the operating table. And so, even though I thought I was being gentle with the tissues inside the operating room, I was also bringing into it the hardness, the frustration, the anger etc that I was also carrying”.

  33. We all are able to be gentle. Give the hardest guy a sweet little baby in his arms and he starts to express gentleness. So it looks like we can do, but choose not to – specially we do not so in every part of life. We save this kind of expression for special moments like a surgery, holding a new born baby or when we are intimate with our partner. We save it for moments, situations or people we honor. Now, how would life be if we expand this expression in all parts of life and see how it goes. Let’s honour all parts of life and living, every relationship and every situation. Very inspiring blog – thank you!

  34. Eunice what a great understanding of responsibility in being a surgeon and also the fact that we can all learn that when we do anything it comes with the quality in which we’ve been living. No white coat can cover up a night of intoxication or morning of porn or even the anger we hold onto with someone.

  35. It’s not so obvious and practised today in our world to be gentle. I see the most sensitive men only knowing to act in hardness while interacting, chatting, working etc. I have become more gentle and I remember not so long ago to act in hardness was the only way to survive. It’s no longer any issue at all to change my behaviour to gentleness around the ‘hardest’ of situations. In fact through experimentation I have become even more gentle and tender with my way of being, that brings me purpose that then supports my confidence. I do not have to fit in because I know and feel who I am – I am content.

  36. As we become more gentle, so too do we gradually deepen that gentleness and it becomes more of a tenderness and then a delicateness. There is no end to the lightness that our touch can bring. It is interesting to see which areas of our lives we hold back on this quality and when we lose it. How gorgeous it is though to experience this lightness of being and to introduce it into all areas of our lives.

  37. This is one of the many things I love about Universal Medicine. It makes the obvious, obvious. Of course, you say here Eunice that it makes sense to not leave gentle at the operating table, but you had not made that connection before. And I can think of hundreds of examples for me where I experienced similar. And now since becoming much more aware of energy, I have lots of moments where I go, of course, it is so obvious but I had chosen not to see it.

  38. You raise a very valid point Eunice. We do restrict our use of gentle. We are very gentle with newborn babies and youngsters, but somewhere along the line we drop the gentleness and often end up treating ourselves with disregard. I know when I see someone being gentle or if they treat me gently it really registers and feels lovely. The flip side is that when someone is angry for instance, that can be felt too. We do respond to the energy behind actions and would all benefit from treating each other and ourselves with gentleness.

  39. It is only when we begin to treat ourselves with gentleness that we become aware of the enormous abuse we have suffered at our own hands. If we were all surgeons, we would have been sacked long ago! Arresting this momentum of lovelessness is an incredibly honouring thing to do, both for ourselves and for others, for gentleness paves the way to tenderness – the gateway through which our true and sacred self is found.

  40. My body rejoices at the mention of being treated gently – both by myself and by others. We all know this in truth as we all know how we respond to gentleness.

  41. “From an energetic perspective there is no cover up, there is no hiding place – we bring all that we live to all that we do.” Universal Medicine brings an awareness and responsibility that the energy we choose to live with either heals or harms in everything we do and those we are with. A universal operating table that asks us to be gentle and tender at all times.

  42. ‘We bring all that we live to all that we do’ – Beautifully said Eunice, we often live our lives with the off and on switch, why don’t we experiment and live life with the ‘on’ switch all of the time. Our quality and connection to ourselves would deepen and the flow on effect to others would be very inspiring.

  43. Gentleness in everything. As a busy man I can so often over-ride this, but have found it to be one of the most direct, efficient and reliable ways to connect me back to myself. An amazing tool that I carry with me everywhere.

  44. Eunice this is GOLD: “If gentleness is beneficial on the table, it is surely also beneficial off the table, as we go about our daily lives.” AND ” I now realise that we cannot compartmentalise sections of our life and do what I used to do – endeavour to be gentle with the tissues in the operating room but have no gentleness for myself outside of it. For in order to be truly gentle in the operating room, I need to be truly gentle outside of it as well, in how I live my life on a daily basis.”
    Thank you for pointing this out – gentleness is not a switch that we can just flick on and off, it is about us developing this more and more in our lives so that it becomes once again our norm. We were all gentle or even tender and delicate as babies and children, so essentially we all know how to do it, we just forget as we grow and we learn to be rough and tough. We also all know how to hold a baby delicately, or to handle organs inspirations delicately, so we all have the capacity to choose this at any time. But to be truly gentle and to really bring it back into our lives, it is about choosing that gentleness consistently so in all that we do, and then this too can develop and deepen to tenderness and delicateness until we come full circle back to where we started – as the delicateness that we were born and choosing to treat ourselves and all those around us with the same quality that we all deserve.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s